Her body hit the ground with a solid thud that shocked every bone in her body. Gasps of confusion and fear filled her ears as she took in the scene around her. Chairs flanked each side of the room she was sitting in, which seemed to be moving, as a group of strangers looked at her.
"What the hell?" she breathed. Where was she? A bus? A train? Wherever she was, she knew one thing was for certain: she wasn't in the future anymore. She'd made it.
Though it was night time, she could tell that she wasn't in the hellish world she had just escaped from. There was no faint red glow receding from the sky, only a million stars and a bright, white moon. Thank God for that.
She looked down at her hands and found a white bandage still securely wrapped around her left, while the Legion ring sparkled brilliantly on her right. She instantly felt bile rise in her stomach. God damn that piece of jewelry. It had brought her more trouble and pain than she knew what to do with. But before she had the chance to lament on it, a bright purple light blinded her. She felt the slam of the brakes and the unmistakable jolt of a train car teetering on its wheels as her body fell forward. Holding herself up, she opened her eyes as the light disappeared only to find her vision assaulted by the last person she thought she'd see: Alia.
Though a black mask covered half of her face, those unmistakable, murderous blue eyes stared at her. How the hell had she followed her back? There was no time to think about it though. As the question crossed her mind, Lois found the assassin walking towards her, shoving an innocent bystander out of the way. Lois deftly dodged a left hook, then blocked her right arm as it came across. She threw a right hook at the assassin, narrowly missing, before she was thrown over her shoulder, but not before she grabbed hold of her, ripping her mask off in the process. Able to stay on her own two feet, Lois looked her dead in the eye. Yep. It was her alright.
Lois threw a roundhouse kick, but it was easily deflected and redirected. Using her momentum, Alia threw her into the train car seats and she tumbled over them. Grabbing whatever she could get a hold of, Lois threw someone's bag at her face before grabbing one of the yellow poles and spinning towards her assailant. Her feet didn't land a blow, but as she dropped back to the ground, she was able to land a lucky right hook. Her next punch was not so lucky. Alia grabbed her arm and snapped it upwards, followed by a violent crunching noise and white-hot bolt of pain that Lois tried not to think about. She felt a blow hit her stomach and fell backwards into the seats. This was it. She was done for.
Then her entire world turned upside down. Literally.
The violent screech of the brakes and the jolt of the train car were the very last things she remembered before her world went black.
A violent throbbing in her forehead was the first thing she noticed as she came back into consciousness. A slight groan escaped her as her eyes blinked open and she took in the scene in front of her. A familiar whooshing sound, one that made her tense with fear that it was a Kandorian, made her redirect her gaze out the window. The monorail car was now sitting stationary in the middle of the street. As she got to her feet, she let out more involuntary signs of protest. Her body was battered and bruised, but something about that sound made her gravitate towards the broken door, rather than run from it. If the red sun was gone, it meant the Kandorians had lost their powers, which meant that sound could only belong to one person. As she walked outside, the same sound made her turn around. She sucked in a breath.
There, behind the disappearing flames on the side of the wall, was a symbol. It looked like the letter 'S,' centered inside of a pentagon, but to her, it was so much more than that. It was his symbol. The Blur. Clark.
She nearly fell to the ground. Her entire body shook with relief. Or was it exhaustion? Both, if she had to guess. Either way, she knew one thing was for certain: he was alive. Everything he had told her as he bled out on the ground in that hellish dystopian future was true. She had gone back in time and now… she would be able to save them. She could save Clark. She could save Chloe and Oliver. Hell, she could even save Tess. She could save all of them from Zod and his not-so-merry band of alien men. Now, she just had to figure out how to do it.
The sirens came soon enough, followed by the appearance of the paramedics and police. She was questioned and skirted over important details, only telling them that some crazy lady attacked her before she was knocked out. As much as she wanted to leave, the paramedics insisted that she go to the hospital and get formally checked out, since she wouldn't allow them to call anyone to come pick her up. As she was ushered into the back of an ambulance and driven towards Metropolis General, she thought about how she was going to approach everything. First and foremost, she had to stop the tower from being built. That was the most crucial element. Chloe was able to program a virus to shut down the tower, but there had to be something she could do to prevent the tower from even becoming functional. Even if Zod and the Kandorians were already on Earth, they would stay powerless without the power of the tower. Knowing what she did, she just had to decide who to tell first.
She had several options, but every single one of them left her doubting the outcome. If she told Tess, there was no way in hell that she'd even believe her. She was too wrapped up in her own ego and her own idea of destiny that she wouldn't believe anything other than what she wanted to hear. So, that was out of the question. She thought about telling Chloe, but there was no way of knowing where she was and what her mindset was like. Before her fight with Tess, she knew that Chloe had been on the outskirts of Edge City with Davis, but from what she knew about the future, she figured that she must be back in Metropolis somewhere. She didn't know exactly when in time she had landed, but the odds were that Jimmy was gone and Chloe was going through hell. A small part of her hoped that she had come back to the exact time she vanished and that she'd have time to save Jimmy, but she wasn't holding her breath. Either way, it left Chloe out of the equation. Finally, there was Oliver, but she wasn't completely convinced that he'd do the right thing in his current state of mind. He was a good man and a hero, but a lot of his actions that had recently come to light made her hesitant to confide in him. He had already been on the dark and shady side before she had disappeared to the future and everything Clark had told her about him in the future only solidified her decision.
Clark.
Even the mere thought of him made her flush with arousal. The memories of his bare body wrapped around hers warmed her as she thought of all that he had divulged to her beneath the thin sheets in the hellscape of a world she had just escaped. But there was a far more important task at hand than reminiscing about the feeling of Clark Kent's hands all over her. As much as she wanted to relinquish herself to those memories, she knew that it wasn't the time nor place. Previous thoughts aside, she knew that he was honestly the only person she could go to with the information she possessed. He wouldn't like it and he would be terrified that she knew the truth, according to what Future Clark had explained to her, but it didn't matter. If she didn't tell him, their world would cease to exist. He had died ensuring that she made it home to warn him and she'd be damned if anyone or anything would keep her from fulfilling her goal. As the ambulance rumbled down the street, she thought about how she was going to approach him and her mind flickered back to the temporary paradise they shared between them.
His fingers traced the side of her head, then her cheek, down across the sinews of her neck before traveling down her shoulder and coming to rest on her waist. Feeling the slight tug against her, she shifted closer to him and met his lips once again, savoring every second spent with him like this. Blue eyes stared lovingly at her and it took every ounce of willpower not to cry. It was everything she had ever wanted, but she knew it couldn't last. Not like this.
"Tell me what happened after I disappeared. I need to know," she said, tracing her own fingers across the planes of his cheek. A darkness crossed his face and she thought for a moment that he might pull away from her like he always did, but that was Clark from the past. This Clark had not only lost her, but his entire world. So instead of brooding and retreating into his secrets like the man she knew, he pulled her flush against his chest and leaned back against the mattress with a sigh. Placing her head on his chest, she insinuated her legs between his knees, wrapping herself completely around him as his strong arms anchored her to him. The vibration of his chest beneath her ear as he spoke was a comforting sensation and it took all of her self-control not to let it to lull her to sleep.
He told her everything. How tirelessly he searched for her, how dark it felt without her there, how he retreated into himself and pushed everyone else away because it killed him to be around people that reminded him of her. When he told her that he renounced his humanity, she asked him what he meant and though he hesitated, he told her the truth: that he was not from her world. The realization that he was the Blur made her heart and mind race with a barrage of emotions and questions, but when he gave her a chance to respond, she just told him to keep talking. So he did. He told her about Krypton, how his parents sent him to Earth, and how Jonathan and Martha Kent found him in a field, the same field that Lois had found him in so many years ago. She learned about how he felt growing up, knowing he was different, but never really learning about his heritage until high school. He told her about the Fortress, learning about his destiny, and becoming the Red Blue Blur. He told her everything.
"So Zod and the Kandorians… they're from Krypton too?" she asked, trying not to allow the emotion in her voice show. As much as she didn't want him to feel alone in the world, she also didn't want them to be the only people that he was connected to. But Clark put her fears to rest when he told her how they weren't truly like him, only copies of who they used to be. It confused her, but she did her best to try and understand how his birth father had both created and sabotaged them. A little weight eased off her heart when she learned that Kara was his actual cousin, but they were the last of their kind. Almost everyone and anything else that had come from their world only brought destruction. And it was clear as day that he bore every bit of guilt from it all.
When he explained what had really happened between Chloe and Davis, about who Davis really was and how he had been the monster at the wedding, it felt like a sucker punch to the gut. Jimmy had been right all along about him and he had died anyway. Knowing she would most likely return to a world where Jimmy was dead was heartbreaking, but she vowed to do everything in her power to stop it if she somehow returned to the exact moment she left. Clark admitted that he wasn't exactly sure about all the technicalities of time travel, so he couldn't be too sure of when she would return, but the one thing he made her promise, regardless of when she returned, was to find him and make sure he knew she was alive.
Never in a million years had she expected to hear Clark talk about her like he did. When he told her how badly her disappearance had affected him and how it was the reason he had secluded himself in his Fortress to fight Zod, she felt her heart shatter. The way he held her against him and brushed her hair, dotting kisses over her skin as he spoke, spoke volumes for the words he was saying. He explained that if he had her in his life, he could be who he needed to be and this world would never exist. He warned her that she'd need to be stubborn, because he'd believe that his humanity was a weakness and he wouldn't want to let her in, but she couldn't allow him to push her away. It was essential that he accepted he couldn't win this fight on his own. Not only did he need Chloe and Oliver, but more than anything else, he needed her.
"Lois… this is what happens in a world without you in it."
The memory faded as the ambulance came to a stop in front of the hospital. Despite everything that she had learned about Clark and who he was, she still couldn't wrap her head around the fact that she meant so much to him. But the problem she faced now was that the Clark who had admitted all of those things to her didn't exist anymore. Lois had finally confronted—several times—the reality that she was in love with him. If she was honest with herself, she always had been. And if what he told her under that red sun was true, he was in love with her too, even in this time. He said he realized it as soon as he couldn't find her, which meant he felt that way about her now. The version of him that was open and honest with her may be gone, but somewhere out there, a current version of him, the version that she knew, was out there searching for her because he loved her.
A sudden thought made her pause: had he seen her tonight? Had he simply saved the train out of duty and sped away or did he know she was back? He had burned the his symbol on the wall across from the crash site, so surely he must have hung around for a moment. If he knew she had returned, maybe that would be enough. Maybe he hadn't left everyone yet and he would still be the same Clark that she remembered. But then again… if he had already decided to fight Zod alone, would her reappearance even matter? Or had he already cut his humanity off? As she exited the ambulance, another pressing question rolled around in her head: what time had she returned to?
As she walked with the paramedics through the front doors, she went with them without protest to an empty room to wait for a doctor. They gave her a form to fill out, but unfortunately, the date was blank. She looked around the sterile room and searched for anything that could help her. A magazine, a newspaper, something… She had already checked her pockets for her cellphone, but wasn't surprised when she found nothing. The only thing that was in her possession was that dangerous golden ring, which was currently burning a hole in her pocket. Finally, she spotted a TV remote and in a last-ditch effort, she scanned the channels until she found a news station, which was already reporting on the miraculous monorail incident. As she waited for the reporter to wrap up his segment, which largely said nothing except for the fact that the Blur must have been behind the save, the TV finally flickered back to the news room and today's date stared back at her.
September 24, 2009
Three weeks. She had been gone for three whole weeks. The air around her suddenly became unbearably warm and constrictive as the urge to vomit overcame her. Running to the bathroom, she slammed the door and fell to her knees in front of the toilet, sucking in deep breaths in an attempt to stop herself from getting sick. Jimmy was dead. She was too late. A strangled cry escaped her and she fell against the wall, grieving for the man she had hoped she could save. Part of her knew that she most likely wasn't going to be able to save him, but the small part of her that had hoped she could had kept her from accepting his death. But now, she had to face the fact that he was gone and had been for almost a month. She knew Chloe had to be a wreck. Not only was Jimmy gone, but she had disappeared without a trace, Clark had cut her off, and Oliver was likely drunk in a ditch somewhere. She had been completely and utterly alone.
She had to find her. As much as she knew she needed to find Clark and tell him what was going on, she needed to see her baby cousin and hold her in her arms. The image of her dead body was still too fresh in her mind for her to think about anything else. If she didn't see proof that she was alive and breathing, no matter what state of mind she was in, she knew that she wouldn't be able to sleep tonight. Wiping her eyes, she stood up on shaking legs and splashed some water on her face in an attempt to compose herself. As she stared at her reflection and thought about what she was going to say to her cousin, Clark's words whispered through her mind.
"Lois, I died when you left."
She was being selfish. Chloe was alive. She was devastated and she was hurting, but at least she was alive. As much as she wanted to find her and tell her that she was okay, she knew that comforting her cousin was low on the list of priorities when it came to saving the world. She hoped and prayed that Clark had seen her tonight when he saved the train car, but hopes and prayers weren't enough. She needed to know that he knew she was alive and then she had to tell him everything.
The only thing that gave her solace was the fact that although she was too late for Jimmy, she wasn't too late for the rest of the world. According to Future Clark, the solar tower wouldn't be completed for another couple of months, so she at least had ample time to warn him about that. She had made sure to get exact dates from Clark when it came to the tower and when exactly Zod rose to power, so she had that ball in her court. The downside was that the Kandorians were already on Earth. She couldn't change that fact, but she could certainly warn Clark about who they were and why they were here. All she had to do was find him.
"Okay, think, Lois. You've been missing for three weeks. Where would he be?" she whispered to herself. If he had seen her tonight, he would most likely be at the Fortress trying to forget about her. If he hadn't, he'd still be patrolling the streets. Either way, he had to sleep at some point and she doubted he'd leave Shelby to die, no matter how much he thought he could give up his humanity. So she'd go to the farm and she'd wait. And if he didn't show…well, she'd figure it out from there.
Making her way out of the hospital room, she walked by the front desk and out of the all-too familiar sliding glass doors without a second glance over her shoulder. Walking through the crisp, fall air, she made her way down towards her apartment. With as much time as she spent in the hospital, it was a blessing that both her building and the Planet weren't too far away. But even if she had wanted to hail a cab, she had no phone and no money with her. All she had was that damn ring. She tried not to think about it and instead, she attempted to imagine the conversation she'd have to have with Clark in her head.
"Hey, Smallville, miss me?"
"Don't freak out, but I just got back from the future."
"Before you say anything, I know you're the Blur."
"I know that you're an alien and we slept together in a dystopian future. Surprise!"
In all honesty, she didn't know what she was supposed to say to him. Truthfully, she wanted nothing more than to call him, to tell him that she loved him, and that nothing else mattered. She didn't care about who he was or what he could do, she just wanted him to know that he didn't have to be alone in this, not like he thought he did. But she knew that she couldn't. Because despite what he told her and what she had shared with him… this Clark wasn't the same as the one she left. This Clark was still full of secrets. This Clark thought he had to do everything alone. This Clark didn't know that she loved him. And at the end of the day, her feelings didn't matter if he didn't know what was coming, so she couldn't be selfish. Not yet.
It didn't take her too long to get to back to her place and when she walked in the door, she wanted nothing more than to hop in the shower and crawl in bed. But she couldn't. Not yet. So instead, even though it was well after midnight, she grabbed her keys off the counter and made her way down to her car. Sleep could wait. This couldn't.
The entire drive to Smallville, she thought about what she was going to say to him. Every time she decided on how to approach the conversation, she'd doubt herself and change her mind. The simple fact was that she was worried about the man she was going to meet. The Clark she had known before she disappeared and the Clark she had met in the future were both gone. She had certainly known how to handle this Clark before she disappeared, but from what Future Clark told her, he wouldn't be the same man anymore. He was darker, angrier, and colder. He was going to push her away. He was going to shut her out. Lois was stubborn and always had been, but she wasn't sure how she was going to handle seeing the man she loved so different. The one thing that she kept telling herself was that at the end of the day, he was still Clark. Just like he had wormed his way beneath all of the walls she had built, she was going to have to do the same thing now.
The roads were deserted and she had kept her foot slammed to the gas pedal, so it took her a little less than two hours to get to the farm. As her tires rolled onto the familiar gravel road, her heart lurched at the sight of the old barn. When she saw it last, it had been filled with human prisoners and covered in barbed wire with Nazi-esque Kandorian flags under an eerie red glow. Now, seeing it untouched under a full moon, Lois couldn't help but get emotional looking at it. Even though it only felt as if she had been gone a day, the drastic change in the barn made the fact that she had been gone three weeks really hit home. So much had changed and she was grateful to see physical evidence that her world was back to normal. At least for now.
Walking up the wooden steps, she hesitated to enter the house. She was nervous. If he was there, she still didn't know exactly what she was going to say. Did she start with his secret? That she had been to the future? Or that he had to keep the tower from being built? Then there was the fear that she wouldn't be strong enough to keep herself from just laying one on him. But even if she did, he'd probably be too shell-shocked to respond and she could tell him everything she needed to. Either way, those options only mattered if he was there. If he wasn't, she had another big problem she had to solve.
Taking a breath, she turned the handle and walked inside. The kitchen was dark and quiet, not that she hadn't expected it to be. It was after two in the morning, so she would have been shocked to see Clark up and about at this time. It felt like years since she had walked into this house. In fact, the last time she could remember being there was at Chloe's wedding. Thinking of that day made her stomach twist, for various reasons, but she had to admit that just standing inside the farmhouse made her feel safe. It felt like she was home.
Making her way slowly towards the hallway, she noticed the thin layer of dust on the counter. So maybe he hadn't been staying here, like she thought he might. But as she passed Shelby's food and water dishes, she smiled. Both were filled. He might not have been channeling his inner Martha in the kitchen lately, but at least he had been here. Just that thought warmed her heart. Knowing that he hadn't completely cut himself off from every aspect of his human life gave her enough confidence to stop stalling and make her way up the stairs.
The door to his bedroom was cracked, but the light was off, so she couldn't see if he was in there or not. Her heart was beating out of her chest as she placed a hand on the door and gave it a gentle push. The image of him wrapped up under the sheets beneath a red glow flickered through her mind, but as she took a step into the room, the image disappeared beneath a wave of disappointment. He wasn't here. Part of her knew that he probably wouldn't be, but that didn't mean that it didn't hurt. Odds were, he was either in the Fortress or still out patrolling and unfortunately for her, that meant she had no idea how to find him. The mere thought of trying to figure out what to do next overwhelmed her and the pure adrenaline she had been running on waned as exhaustion began to overtake her. The digital clock beside his bed showed that it was getting close to three in the morning. There was nothing else she could do tonight, especially operating on the little sleep she had.
Without a second thought, she walked towards his dresser and pulled a red flannel shirt out of the drawer. She brought the fabric to her nose for a moment and relished his scent before she stripped off the rest of her clothes and changed. As she crawled under his sheets, she remembered how annoyed he'd gotten when she first took over his room all those years ago. Smiling, she closed her eyes and allowed those memories to fade into dreams of him lying beside her as she quickly fell asleep.