EPISODE 8 – '' AND THIS IS HOW MY SPACE ODYSSEY BEGAN''

Some time after the Resisty's arrival, queen Loo-mi-nah asked me for a talk In private. So we went to her chamber. Or rather, what was left of it. By that time I haven't had Formikans' homes repaired yet.

- Solitaire. – queen Loo-mi-nah spoke to me in a dead serious tone. – I am really, really grateful for what you've done for my kingdom so far. But… I'm afraid I'll have to ask you for one more favor.

- What favor? – I asked.

- You see, although I have my magic book again, I can't use it to break the spell put on fantasites.

- You can't? – I repeated In puzzlement.

- Unfortunately, it is true. A bounty of fantasites have been exported outsider Formika, straight to planet Callnowia. Ugh! Our precious, magical gems, attached to each order as a free gift. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT!? – the queen suddenly lost her temper, furious at the fact of Formika's greatest treasures being treated by the Irkens like some kind of cheap souvenirs. I stayed silent, not knowing what to do say. Queen Loo-mi-nah quickly regained her composure and continued speaking:

- Anyhow, as long as there is at least one, tiny fantasite outside my lands, I shall not undo the seal.

- I get it.I suppose it won't be that easy.I don't know how many planets have the Irkens conquered so far, but I'm sure we're talking hundreds. My army is not big enough to fight them all at once. And I must grow much stronger too.

- I see. So what are you going to do?

- I think…I'll need to think about it.

I took a big swallow of canned beer.

- Perhaps… I should ask the Resisty for help? Normally I do everything alone. But this time…

I looked up at the sky, frustrated as hell.

- I know what you mean.

- If only I knew this universe better, had many more toys to fight for me, more power to do it all by myself…

- I see. You are a loner. You hate to be a part of group.

- Exactly.

- So… do you want me to ask them for you or…?

- No. I must do it myself. Or else, I won't be taken seriously.

- You know… don't get mad at me, but the clothes you are wearing won't be very helpful with that.

- Huh? What's wrong with my clothes?

- To be honest, they are a little… childish.

- But they are supposed to be like this. It is called sweet lolita fashion style. And I love it.

- Oo-kaaaay..?

I sighed.: - Let's just get this over with.

And so, having long face, I came back to the Resisty, accompanied by queen Loo-mi-nah.

- Miss Solitaire. – I got surprised of how Lard Nar called me. – The Formikans told us what you've done for them and their planet. I must admit, your powers are very impressive.

- Thanks. – I grunted, unruffled.

- Look, I apologize for the prior… unpleasantness. I misjudged you.

I didn't respond, just pulled a groomy face, which seemed to confuse the Vortian.

- Is there something else you wanna say, captain Lard Nar? – I asked this question to keep the conversation flowing.

- Yes. Actually… I'd like to invite you to join our resistance.

- Really?

- Really. According to what we've been told by the locals, you sure love killing Irkens. If you come with us, you'll have plenty of opportunities to repeat that. Together we can put an end to the Irken reign of terror, once and for all.

- Well…

- Please, think about it.

- It's not like I'm saying ''no''. I'm just… concerned.

- Concerned? Why?

- I mean Formikans.I'm afraid they're gonna be left without any protection when I leave.

- Uhm… excuse me, Solitaire, if I may interrupt you… - princess Loo-nah came up to me.

- What is it, Loo-nah?

- You possess magical powers, don't you? Why won't you put a spell on Formikan toys, just like you did with your own ones?

- This is… indeed a truly good idea. – I praised her. – I can do that.

I turned to the queen and said:

- Order your subjects to rather all the toys together at one place so I could do what I gotta do before I go with the Resisty.

And so she did. That gave me some more time to talk to Lard Nar a little longer.

- Ok. Let's make a deal. I will help you if you help me.

- Sounds fair enough. What is this you want us to do for you?

- Well, I'm doing this more for the Formikans than for myself. But for myself as well. I must collect all fantasites taken away by the Irkens and bring them back on Formika where they belong.

- Oh I Loo-mi-nah can't use the spell from her magic book to restore magic of fantasites until each and every of those gemstones gets back to its rightful owners.

- That's right. Wow, you are indeed very intelligent, as benefits representative of the Vortian race.

- Why thank you. – Lard Nar apparently was abashed by my compliment, which I found pretty amusing. And pretty cute too. At that point, Formikans were back with dozens of toys, somehow preserved from destructive activity of the Irken Armada.

- Well, well, well. – I said, grinning. – I think such amount of toys should be enough to keep all kinds of dangers far away from Formika.

I came closer to the heap of toys, straightened my arms and focused on bewitching. A moment later, Formikan toys were filled with my magic, ''programmed'' to react on dangerous beings and situations by turning into monsters and solving the problem in the best way they could.

- Now! You can have your toys back. – I announced. – In case some peril came to hurt you, they will be your protectors.

A bunch of Formikan children surrounded the heap and started picking up their properties.

- So, are you ready to go yet? – asked Lard Nar, seemingly growing impatient. I couldn't blade him. We had an extremely important mission to fulfill. Or rather – the two of them.

- Yeah. – I muttered, nodding.

A few moments later, after a short exchange of ''goodbye'' with queen Loo-mi-nah and princess Loo-nah, I found myself on the board of Resisty's new spaceship. I was standing next to a small porthole, looking down on crown of Formikans. They were shrinking more and more, until they disappeared like a stone in bottomless depths of cold, dark sea. And so did planet Formika itself, a moment or two afterwards. I had a funny feeling. Not in the meaning of ''laughable'', more like ''weird''. I thought: '' It all differs from what I've been imagining about me coming into the realm of ''Invader Zim''. I have been fantasizing about myself becoming something supernatural. A witch, a demon, a horror movie killer – anything powerful and intimidating in their nature. But… maybe I should have been more discreet in my actions? Operate from the shadows? I dunno. It is too late now anyway. This is ''Invader Zim'' I am in, not ''Re:Zero''. I let all my toys of of my magic compact. There were thousands of them, in all shapes, sizes and colors, in their regular forms. They were moving like living creatures, but still looking like regular playthings. They approached me, climbed up my leg, my dress, my chest and my head. I got flooded by my toys and that was even more pleasant and soothing than being covered with blood of Irkens or any other creature I detested. I put my hands on them, smiled and sighed quietly:

- My little treasures… You are my only true friends. You'd never ever deceive me, mistreat me or hurt my feelings.

I spent next few minutes pudding with my plushies, dolls, figures and other kinds of little wonders for all, whether big or small. Some time later, I decided to go peep at the Resisty. I peeked from around the corner and watched the aliens do their duties. I made few steps ahead and looked at Lard Nar who was sitting in a chair, just like he was doing in ''Backseat Drivers From Beyond The Stars''.

'' He doesn't look very well.'' – I thought. At the same moment Lard Nar stood up, he collapsed, much to the Resisty members' discomposure.

- What the fuck…? – I cursed before I came out and rushed up to the unconscious Vortian, along with the rest of his crew.