Chapter 35 - Sometimes life is a compromise.
December 27, 2005

Deirdre slowly shoved the last of her things into the suitcase and zipped it closed. She stripped the bedsheets and gathered them up with the towels in the bathroom. She probably ought to ask where to take them, or maybe Nana cleaned them magically—

"Oh, leave the sheets," Gemma sighed from the hallway. "I'll sort them out."

Nodding, because she didn't trust herself to speak and not lose it completely, Deirdre dumped everything on the floor and picked up her suitcase and rucksack. She carried them into the living room and set them by the door.

Gemma leaned against the doorframe, studying her. "You're right," she said flatly. "In case your head's going in circles and you're starting to tell yourself that maybe you shouldn't be in the way or they don't really need you. Don't listen to that voice. You need to go. Gareth needs you, even if he's too bloody stubborn to admit it. And your idea is good. If I wanted to destroy an ex-boyfriend, then seeing him hook up with someone I considered a rival would probably push me to do something stupid."

Deirdre tried to smile. "Let's hope Valentina thinks the same way."

"I can't believe Gareth said all those things," Gemma muttered, shaking her head. "And I can't believe you stood there and took it."

"He was just letting off steam," Deirdre shrugged. "Part of him enjoys picking a fight, seeing how I'll react. If I don't react, it sort of brings him up short."

She didn't want to admit that the fight had shaken her, that it had felt horrid to feel him turn away from her.

"Just forgot to mention that part of your dream was a warning?" His voice was so sarcastic. Disdainful. Like she'd been caught keeping a horrid secret.

"I didn't know what it meant." she replied, trying to keep her voice even. "I'd intended to talk to Daisy about it later—"

"Right," he said, practically sneering. "Because Daisy has her all-knowing spirits, while the rest of us wander around blind and deaf waiting for some morsel of useful information."

"I understand why you're angry. It's terrifying to consider that Valentina is still out there somewhere, and—"

"You don't understand anything," he growled. "People don't tiptoe around you, withholding information because you're considered a liability. People don't try to manage your life for you because you f—

That was when she turned and walked away. She did understand. He was ashamed that his choices had opened the door to this predator and it wasn't over yet. He was frustrated that he was now healthy and able to deal with Valentina, and it felt like Lina didn't trust him. And now it appeared that Deirdre hadn't trusted him with what she'd been told either. Of course that was ridiculous. The warning had made no sense to her when she heard it, and the truth had only sunk in after Lina's announcement and Gareth's abrupt exit from the dining hall. But it felt awful that Gareth had so quickly lumped her in with everyone else he felt was against him. She hadn't even gotten the chance to tell him any of Lina's plans or her own hunch about drawing Valentina out, and she hadn't seen him the rest of the day. No one was eating or gathering at regular times as they all were packing to head home, and at least half were seeing to last minute chores and repairs around the reservation after the storm, making sure Grams and Nana and their guests would be in good form to finish out the winter.

"Well, you hold your ground," Gemma said, her face screwed up as if she'd tasted a lemon. "Because the minute he finds out you're going with them—"

There was a loud knock, interrupting Gemma's words, and then the door banged open, Gareth standing there, his face haggard and pale. "Can we talk?"

"Not if you're trying to convince her not to go," Gemma said, her voice stern. "It's a good idea, and you bloody well can't be left on your own. And furthermore—"

"Gemma, can you give us a minute?" Deirdre said softly. "And you need to watch your tongue, you can't go back to school bleeding all over the place."

"You say it all the time," Gemma muttered, crossing her arms.

Deirdre slung an arm over her shoulders and started walking her towards the door. "Come on, our kid, that's no excuse. You were raised better than I was."

"Fine, but if you let him talk you out of it I won't speak to either one of you until all this is over!" With that parting shot, she grabbed a coat and flounced out of the house, slamming the door behind her.

The two of them stared at each other for a moment, Gareth's eyes shadowed and miserable. "Sit down," Deirdre finally said. "Say what you like, but it won't change my mind."

She curled up at one end of the sofa, drawing her knees up to her chest. Gareth sat at the other end, running his hands restlessly over his knees. "First off…" he paused to clear his throat and then started again. "I want to apologize. I never should have spoken to you like that. I was really angry and I just snapped." He took a shaky breath. "Things feel very out of control, and I even found myself wishing I had a potion to take the edge off. I…I couldn't believe I'd thought that. I don't want to be that person."

Deirdre nodded. "You need to find some new coping skills," she said gently.

A strange look crossed his face. "Please don't do that," he said, staring down at the floor.

"Do what?"

"Use that professional voice with me. I appreciate your skill set, but I don't want you to try and fix me like I'm one of your clients. It feels like it puts this…wall between us."

Oh. Yes, she did do that. Putting on the social worker's hat and evaluating things more clinically helped her not feel overwhelmed. But she guessed she could see what he meant, that it made her seem cold and impersonal.

He sighed, shoulders sagging. "I guess I don't have any right to say that. I threw my own wall at you this morning."

"How did you know there was a warning in my dream?"

Gareth made a face. "That man showed up. The gold one, but he wasn't really gold this time. He said you'd been warned and Daisy had some sort of message."

"He said I was a threat to everything she valued," Deirdre said, wrapping her arms around her knees. "But I didn't know what it meant. And I was so overwhelmed with what that creature had said…what it did, I didn't even think of it again until this morning, after you'd already left the dining hall."

"I'm sorry I was such an ass," he mumbled, scrubbing a hand over his face. "I want us to be on the same side."

"Me too. Which is why you aren't going to be able to convince me to go home." She said it quietly, but firmly, watching his reaction.

He shook his head and looked away from her, working his jaw. "I was going to suggest you go to the farm. I don't even want you in London alone, I definitely don't want you anywhere near her," he muttered. "She could be anywhere…watching us…waiting for the right moment to strike."

"All the more reason." Deirdre let out a slow breath, plucking at the edge of her sleeve. "It's not only about you. It's about your family, the whole pack. I think I can help. I think Lina's right, that she wouldn't have expected us to find each other again. And if I'm a threat to what she values, that may draw her out somehow."

"Yeah, I talked to Lina and she said all that, but…damn it, it feels like I'm just tying you to a rock and waiting for the sea serpent to show up. I don't want you to be the bait!"

She smiled. "I'm not sure it's going to be that dramatic."

He frowned, clenching his hands together, his shoulders tense. "I wish I could just give her whatever she wanted. But…if she has control, all that capital, all those resources…" He shuddered. "I can't do that to the people that work there, to Maria and Fernán, after all they've done to keep things going…"

"I know. And even if you gave her everything, I doubt she'd leave you alone. She'd want to make sure your family was never a threat again." She pressed her lips together, trying to find the words to explain the fierce conviction she had. He couldn't go face it all on his own. And she knew Lina and Professor Snape would be there, but it wasn't enough. He needed a…a compass of sorts. And maybe it was silly to think she was supposed to be the compass, but…she'd been able to reach him in his dream. And the man had come to her in her own dream. So she was involved whether she wanted to be or not. And she loved him, loved him enough to fight for their chance to be together, even if she had to go through the awkwardness and hard work of learning to be a proper society lady, even if she had to face this psychotic witch. There was a…a something down deep inside of her that knew she belonged to Gareth and he belonged to her, and she wasn't going to give that up without a fight.

"I think," she said slowly, "it's a bit like when you left to go fight at Hogwarts. You were supposed to stay out of the fight to stay safe and be able to take over the company, but you said none of that would matter if you lost your family. I know you want me to stay safe, but it won't matter if you lose everything else."

He scrubbed a hand over his face and sighed. "I don't deserve you. Especially after the way I acted this morning. I wouldn't blame you if—"

Deirdre wrinkled her nose. "It was horrid to feel like you thought I was somehow against you, but it's hardly our first row. Do you think I'm calling it quits because you shouted at me in a really stressful situation? Or is this just a bid for me to say it first?"

Gareth looked at her, tilting his head, obviously confused. "I already apologized first. You don't need to—"

"I love you." She said the words slowly and deliberately, then waited for them to sink in.

His eyes widened. There wasn't that blazing gleam in them, but something softer. Then he smiled, his posture relaxing. "Well, that's a relief. Now I don't have to be madly in love all by myself."

She patted the couch next to her. "We have a little bit of time before we need to leave. Maybe you could help me work on my accent."

Gareth laughed, though he still looked worried and sad, and obligingly slid over. He reached out and took her hand, holding it close to his chest, like he'd done the night they finally dealt with his nightmares. "Repeat after me. Te amo."

"Te amo."

"Te amaré para siempre."

"Te amar… para sem…sempray?"

"See-em-pray. Siempre."

"What does it mean?"

"Forever."

"What was the other one that I tried before?"

He leaned in close to her ear. "Besame," he whispered, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

She closed her eyes, letting his voice send delightful shivers down her. "Besame," she echoed, losing herself in the feel of his lips against hers, and hoping Gemma was annoyed enough to stay away for a while.

Gemma interrupted them about ten minutes later, much to Gareth's relief. She flung open the door and flounced in the way she'd flounced out, as they quickly extricated themselves from their mildly compromising position. Joel was standing in the doorway behind her, staring at the ground, his face bright red as he mumbled that Nana had sent them to collect all the bedding and towels from the houses.

Gareth told Deirdre he'd see her at dinner, and made his escape. It was all starting to feel like that first year after the war. He'd been under so much pressure and had been so anxious about how things in Lima were going to go, that he'd clung to Deirdre like a lifeline. Their relationship had this air of desperation to it, like they'd known the time was short but were determinedly ignoring the fact. He felt that again now, and it made him very uneasy. What he'd said was true. He was madly in love. The madly part might be a problem. He didn't want just desperation-fueled lust because some huge problem was hanging over their heads. He wanted something permanent. He wanted to know she'd be waiting for him at home at the end of the day. He wanted to laugh with her while they made dinner and talked about their days. He wanted to argue with her about what they'd name their kids or what color the living room wall should be. The trouble was, every time he kissed her it was like his brain stopped working.

Sucking in lungfuls of cold air, he trudged the short distance back to his house, changed into a business suit, quickly finished packing, and shrank down his bags to fit into his briefcase. He wondered if Lina having their relationship on a timeline maybe was a good idea. Even if she accelerated it, it would still be slower than what he wanted, which was to just apparate over to Las Vegas and marry Deirdre today, and then hide her somewhere…maybe he should buy his own island…under an assumed name.

He headed back to the dining hall, dumping his briefcase and overcoat beside his guitar. Everyone else was gathered for their last quick dinner together. It was the third night of Hanukkah, so they started the meal with the candle lighting and prayers, Joel's rich voice resonating through the room, then they all passed around plates of the leftovers that had accumulated over the last four days. "You all right?" Josh, sitting beside him, asked in a low voice.

Gareth made a face and shrugged. "I'm mad. I'm scared. I'm…maybe hopeful. I don't know."

"Deirdre, you're still planning to go, right?" Isabel asked from across the table. "Because I don't think Gareth should be on his own right now."

"He won't be on his own," Lina said patiently. "In fact, he probably won't be left alone for a moment until we sort this out."

"I figured that," Isabel said, shaking her head. "But it's not the same. And I guessed Gareth would try to talk her out of it."

"I did," he huffed. "How did you know I was going to try?"

"I sure would if it were me," Josh muttered, making a face at Isabel. George, beside her, nodding in understanding, mouthed the words Me too.

"I'll say he was trying," Gemma groused. "It didn't take him ten minutes to try to snog her into submission—"

"Gemma, give it a rest, can't you?" Deirdre protested, amid several snorts of laughter, her cheeks flushed. "That isn't what happened. I'm still going."

Joshua then cleared his throat. "I, uh, did want to say I think Daisy and I need to take a rain check on that trip to the beach. I love you and I will do whatever I can to help, but I don't want Daisy anywhere near you right now, not while that witch is still out there."

Daisy made a soft sound of frustration. "The warriors said the Usurper's days were numbered and the kingdom would be given to another," she said firmly. "So I think this might be the end of it, the end of having to worry about her."

"Maybe," Josh shrugged, "but I'll feel better if we're on the farm and able to put some extra protective measures up, push the anti-apparation boundary further back, you know…"

"That's a good idea," Gareth nodded. He pushed his food around on his plate, his feelings too turbulent to try and eat. "I…uh…" He glanced at his brother, then looked away again, forcing himself to say the words. "I've been trying to remember how much I told Valentina about things in England, how much information she had…And I can't. There's too many gaps in my memory. I don't…I don't know how vulnerable you are." He glanced back at Josh, trying to discern how he was taking that, but his brother was staring at his plate, steadily cutting through a piece of meat.

Daisy shook her head with a sigh. "We're no more or less vulnerable than we ever are. That's what sovereignty means. Everything that happens is filtered through the Creator's hands."

Gareth stopped himself from rolling his eyes. "I don't want to debate theology with you. And there's no guarantee that something terrible won't happen while Valentina's numbered days are running out," he muttered.

"We will plan for the worst and hope for the best," Hawthorne said mildly.

"Why is it when other people say stuff like that it sounds like something wise you'd stitch on a sampler, and when I say stuff like that people tell me I'm in denial?" Isabel huffed. She looked at Gareth with a commiserating eye roll, then shifted her gaze to her sister. "George and I can come over for a couple days to help reinforce the spells around the farm. And then we'll pop back to New York for my farewell concert on the thirty-first, and then we'll be back in England for Harry's gala on the first and my world traveling days are over, at least for a good long while."

Daisy smiled at her. "We'd love to have you. You and Cat and I haven't had a good long chat in while."

Isabel's face softened, her eyes bright with unexpected tears. "Yeah, I'd like that," she said softly.

"If I may," Lina said in the momentary lull, "I'd like to outline the plan for next few days, up until Harry's fundraiser. We'll have multi-pronged attack. First, I will meet with my people on the ground, gather any current intel and read them in on our plans. George has rather brilliantly managed to reduce and duplicate the atomizer he invented so that we can use it with Veritaserum in a interview room. Severus and I—"

"George, you should patent it," Gareth interrupted. "Ministries would probably be interested in something like that for their Aurors."

George looked surprised, then thoughtful. "I will, but having been on the wrong side of a change in government, I'm not a hundred percent comfortable selling it for a Ministry to weaponize."

"Fair enough, but patent it anyway, so they can't steal it."

"I weaponized it," Lina pointed out with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, but that's different," George shrugged. "I trust your moral judgement better than I do the government."

Lina looked genuinely surprised, and then glanced back at her notes, a small smile playing around her lips. "As I was saying, Severus and I will take charge of interviewing the administrative staff. They work more closely with Gareth, so if I were trying to infiltrate the company, I would choose someone there. Second, we will exhume Valentina's body."

"Ew, really?" Isabel exclaimed, her nose wrinkled in disgust.

"We have to see if someone is actually buried there," Lina said dryly, "and if so, who it is. If she took the place of the person who is actually in the coffin, well and good. That makes our job easier. If it's empty, we can still track down the people from the mortuary and see who was involved, how they were contacted and paid, etcetera."

"Excellent," Gareth stated. "But I fail to see why Deirdre should be involved in any of that."

"Third," Lina continued over him, "Severus will go over Gareth's itinerary for the next six months and see what protocols would best serve Deirdre's integration process. We will also engineer chance social encounters for the two of you with…whom would you suggest?"

Gareth curled his lip. "Condesa de Grimaldi or Barón Estremera."

"Who are they?" Gemma asked, leaning forward.

"An ancient hag of a countess. The baron is relatively new, his father died two years ago. They're both from old families, rich, political, and terrible gossips. If you want the word to get out that I'm interested in someone, they'll be the happy bearers of the tale." He looked at Deirdre, watching him intently, her entire life on the verge of this tremendous upheaval. His mouth twisted for a moment before he added, "And they'll also be happy to make up whatever details they don't have, so please…please have all the specifics ready to go. The gossip might help draw Valentina out, but it will also be really uncomfortable for a while."

Lina narrowed her eyes, and turned to Deirdre. "All right?"

She nodded, her hair catching the candle light and making the strands gleam gold. Gareth was aware of a cold sort of heaviness in his chest. Once Lina's plan was put in motion, Deirdre would simply be swept along in whatever happened.

The skies were finally clear after the storm, bright stars glistening in the black sky. As soon as the dinner was over Sirius ducked outside. Lina was getting Deirdre kitted out in something more than blue jeans and trainers for traveling. The rest were cleaning up from dinner, lingering over coffee, or gathering their luggage. Sirius had noticed that the phones were again receiving a signal, so however that Muggle/Magic tech worked, someone must have sorted it out. And that meant he had a phone call to make. He wanted Mooney to hear it all from him before someone else called the rest of the pack and news spread. The phone sounded its long tone once…twice…

"What's wrong?" came Remus' voice, sounding gravelly and annoyed.

"Why should something be wrong?"

"It's one o'clock in the morning, Sirius."

Sirius winced. "Yeah, sorry, mate, I forgot about the time difference. Um, listen, we had a pack meeting this morning and I wanted to tell you about it. We didn't have phone service until just now because of the storm…Moony, are you still there?"

"Refer to my initial question."

"Sorry? Oh! You mean, what's wrong. Right, so Daisy heard something that makes Lina think Valentina is still alive. Well, not just that, but that plus some some weird things that have been happening at the company. And she was just kicking herself, thinking that she should have realized before now. It really did her head in, I've never seen her so down on herself. Then Severus and Egg showed up this morning and we tell them all about it. And I was saying we needed to let the others know, and Lina was dead set against it, wanting to handle it herself. You know, like she was when that op went sideways at Malfoys'? And then Sev pipes up and actually agrees with me! Honestly the man is becoming so mellow I'm surprised he can keep any order in that school at all! Egg must be very good in—"

"Sirius, so help me, slow down," Remus finally snapped. "And stop that infernal pacing."

Sirius looked down at his feet in surprise. "How did you know I was pacing? Odd that, I don't normally pace. Must have picked it up from Lina." There was silence on the other end. "Sorry Moony, it all just happened so fast, and Lina was so out of sorts. She's better now, I think, now that she has a plan, but blimey, for a while there I was the one having to be cool and collected."

"What is the plan?"

Oops. Is he gritting his teeth? Probably. I should have called Kitten instead. He's always cross when he wakes up. "Right. We're going to Peru, that is, me, Lina, Sev, Egg, Gareth and Dee. She's going to dig up Valentina's grave to see who's in there, Lina, not Dee, then start questioning all Gareth's employees with Veritaserum to check if she's pretending to be one of them using Polyjuice. And Gareth and Deirdre's romance is going to be rushed along to see if that will force her into showing her hand somehow. Oh…um, the rest are going back to the farm to reinforce the wards, because Gareth isn't certain how much Valentina knows about that."

A swear word was forcibly exhaled into the phone. "Right," Remus finally said, wearily. "I'll tell the others first thing in the morning and we'll head back to the farm. If you need us in Peru, just say. And Padfoot?"

"Yeah?"

"Deirdre still tends to act like she's all alone in the world. Please keep an eye on her, especially if the others are focused on catching Valentina."

"I'll have you know I already thought of that," Sirius replied, unable to keep a smug grin off his face. "I can take over her high society lessons while Severus is helping Lina question all those employees. Isn't that self-sacrificing of me? I was thinking about it at the fancy dinner we had last night. Sev and Lina are tops at pretending they fit in, but I can bring a more casual, 'I was born to this' sort of attitude, don't you think?" There was only silence on the other end. "Remus?"

"Good night, Sirius," came his tired voice. And then the phone went dead.