A/N: I own nothing except the laptop I wrote this story on.
I suppose I didn't know what I was expecting when I set foot inside a Quarian ship for the first time. I guess I expected…well, something unique? Something that made the ship stand out, that made it seem like it was a part of a specific people and group. But in looking around the interiors of this ship, it didn't seem any different from the interior of a mid-level medical cruiser. Frankly, the first reaction that I felt in seeing the inside of this ship was…disappointment. I expected better.
And then I felt shame. Because these were a people whose whole lives had been uprooted, and they were reduced to being nomads amongst the stars. Who the hell was I to criticize or, even worse, judge them for who they were? And what their ship was?
Captain Kar'Danna told us that the trial for Tali was going to be held in the garden plaza of this ship, and that the preparations were already underway. As we started to situate ourselves, I looked around. There were plenty of Quarian around the hallways, and they were eying us. Sure, it might not be that easy to track their eyes, on account of the masks and suits, but body language isn't all that subtle.
And when one of your own comes in after being accused of treason, and rolls deep, it's probably a shocking sight.
"We will speak to the Admiralty Board." Miranda said, stepping forward. "Commander Shepard, stay with Tali. I think she might need a friend." She gestured for Thane, Samara and…Zaeed to follow her to the garden plaza.
Again, the thought of Zaeed knowing how to handle Quarian politics was frankly the craziest thing about this whole situation, and that was saying a lot.
"Didn't think I'd see you again so soon, John Shepard."
I turn and see, of all people, Kal'Reegar making his way over to the group. I raise an eyebrow.
"Captain? You're on this ship?"
"Please, call me Kal. You earned that much for saving my life back on Haestrom." The pink-and-white suited Quarian is walking like a man who has recovered fully from an injury and he carries himself like a soldier. "As for why I'm here?" He lowers his voice. "I think that it's a political thing."
"What kind of political thing?" I ask. Reegar shrugs.
"Let's just say that not everyone thinks these charges against Tali are legit. And having a few friends around on the ground might help, in what little way they can." He looks over at Tali, who is currently talking with Sis and Garrus in hushed tones. "Frankly, I'm kind of insulted. All the work that she was doing was on the up-and-up, and the second something comes up it all goes out the window? Makes it feel like the men who died to protect her died for nothing. None of this is her fault."
I raised an eyebrow.
"What do you mean, 'something comes up?'"
At this, Reegar did something that I didn't expect. He flinched.
"I…uh…I'm not the one that should say anything."
I step closer to him.
"Reegar, it's only because I like you that I'm not wondering where to punch you first. What do you mean, 'something comes up?'"
I'm trying. I'm really trying not to be a monster. But the way that the darkness comes over me, and the way I feel the red bubbling up within me…sometimes I hate how easily it comes to me.
But every now and then, that darkness is useful.
He sighs.
"Look, John. I like you too. You're a straight shooter, and you saved my life. So all I will say is this: there's something that's gonna come out in the trial. If Tali has any hope of getting an acquittal, she has to be blindsided by it."
"What are you talking about?" I asked him again. But at this, I feel a hand on my shoulder. It's Sis.
"John, stop bullying Reegar. We gotta get moving."
I look back at her. The worst timing, this woman. Just the worst. But…fine. I don't have any leg to stand on, and I'm trying to be on my best behavior. So I look back at Reegar, and just nod. He nods as well, and I hope that he understands that I understand. But now I'm on edge. Something is going to go down in this trial. And it's not gonna be pretty.
As we walk towards the end of the hall, where the garden plaza awaits, I see that there's a large continent of Quarians already in there. It's a little crowded, as Sis' "diplomacy" team is currently being searched for anything that might, well, cause a ruckus in the court room. Thane and Samara somewhat graciously hand over their main weapons (clearly counting on the Quarians not to search them any further than the surface. I know for a fact that Thane carries at least two concealed pistols in his boots), and then walk into the plaza. Miranda and Zaeed are taking a bit longer. They're talking to a Quarian. As soon as the Quarian turns to see us, Tali runs up to her and gives her a hug.
"Auntie Raan!" Tali said. The relief in her body language is palpable. Clearly this is a family friend. She turns to us. "Shepard vas Normandy, this is Admiral Shala'Raan vas Tonbay. She's a friend of my father's."
"A friend of Tali vas Normandy is a friend of mine, I must say." The admiral replies. That is a distinct voice that this woman possesses. Like honeyed gravel. Or graveled honey? Either way, it stands out.
But then Tali turns towards the woman.
"Wait, Raan. You called me vas Normandy?" She asked. I see the older Quarian woman shift a little bit in her stance, and I feel a sinking pit in my gut.
"I'm afraid I did, Tali." The admiral replied. "The Admiralty Board moved to have you tried under that name, given your departure from the Neema."
"That sounds vaguely like putting toes on the scales, Admiral." I find myself speaking. Everyone turns to face me. Whoops. I guess I wasn't the one to that was supposed to talk.
"And who might you be, young man?" The admiral asks, with her tone not unlike a mildly offended grandmother. Not angry, but certainly surprised. Time to walk the tightrope.
"Forgive my, uh, insouciance." I said. "I'm Jonathan Shepard…vas Normandy, I guess." I shrug. "I'm family to the Commander here." I gesture to Sis.
The admiral nods.
"Family is important. You do bear a passing resemblance to Tali's captain."
I raise an eyebrow, though I doubt she can see it.
"Respectfully, ma'am, I'm wearing a face mask that covers my face entirely. How can you tell?"
She shifts again, putting a hand on her hip.
"I'm an old Quarian. We don't need faces to determine familial resemblances. It's in the gait, the movement, the tone of voice…" She chuckles. "You are not particularly familiar with our customs, are you Jonathan?"
I feel warm in the cheeks. I haven't felt this embarrassed since grade school, when Mr. Glamzi made me do math problems in front of the class and I hadn't done the homework. All I can do is bow my head slightly.
"No, ma'am. I am not. I hope to learn as best I can while I'm here."
"It's not the most pleasant circumstances for you to be here, but I wish you well in your learnings." She says. She turns back to Sis and Tali. "I'm afraid I have some bad news. Though I am an admiral, my history with Tali and her father forced me to recuse myself from Tali's trial." She looked at her niece. "You'll see inside, Tali. For my part, I moderate and ensure that the rules of protocol are followed, but I have no vote in the judgment."
Tali looks like she has deflated in front of us.
"They've stripped me of my ship name. That's as good as declaring me exiled already," she said, not bothering to hide her defeated tone. At this, Admiral Raan places a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"It's not over yet, Tali. You have friends who still know you as Tali'Zorah vas Neema…whatever we must call you legally."
"I guess we should get started." Sis said. "Does Tali have a defense counselor, someone who speaks for her side?"
There's an awkward pause.
"Oh. It's me?" Sis asked after the silence continued for a moment longer than comfortable.
"Indeed, Commander." Admiral Raan said. "She is part of your crew. You speak on her behalf, as by Quarian law we recognize you as her lead."
"Would…would you speak in my defense, Shepard?" Tali asked. Sis looks positively offended.
"I can't believe you'd even ask that, Tali. Of course. I will do everything in my power to get you cleared of these bogus charges."
"I am happy to hear that you will defend your crew so vigorously, Commander." Raan said. "Our legal rules are simple. There are no legal tricks or political loopholes for you to worry about. Present the truth, as best as you can. It will have to be enough. Now come. I promised that I would not delay you."
She leads the group into the main garden plaza. It's spacious, pretty, and it looks somewhat…tired. Not run-down, but definitely in need of an upgrade or two. Not that the Quarian people are loaded enough to pull that off. There's an area in the center of the plaza that sort of looks like an old Greek amphitheater, with rows for the people to sit and observe, and a stage for the admirals to sit at and give judgment.
As the people file in, I'm so busy scanning everything that I barely notice Zaeed say something to me.
"I'm sorry?" I ask.
"I said, J'accuse." Zaeed growled in a low voice. "This whole thing reeks of the Dreyfus Affair."
"What in god's name is that, Zaeed?" I ask.
"Christ, do you ever read a bloody book?" The grizzled merc snarls. "French officer in the 19th century. Jewish. Accused of treason against the French government."
"Why?" I asked.
"Almost certainly because he was a Son of David." Zaeed said. He sneers at my blank expression. "Don't make me kick your history teacher in the neck, Doc. Means Jewish! It was all a kangaroo court that sought to punish a man because the country was scared and afraid, and they wanted to play a 'scary Jew' for it all. It was so bad that a writer in France wrote a paper claiming that the country lost its bloody fucking mind, titled it J'accuse." He put contempt into those air quotes, I have to say.
"What's your point?"
"Well, I don't think poor Tali can expect a fair trial." Zaeed grumbled.
We take a seat in the audience. I'm a little bummed that I don't get to be in the thick of it with Sis and Tali, but the two of them and Garrus are thick as thieves. They've been through the most out of all of us, so it stands to reason that we're all waiting to see how things go. Most of Sis' specialists sit around me, and I notice that some of the Quarians in the audience shoot us looks. They might be masked, but I know the body language of people who are trying to steal a look on the sly.
Then Miranda sits next to me.
I feel my heart catch in my chest.
Things are…well, what are they? Ever since Tuchanka. Sure, I apologized for being a wild asshole during the Project Overlord fiasco, and she did me a real solid in finding Benjamin Kyle, but where are we now?
What are we now?
She sits in silence for a moment, and then she breaks it.
"I've never actually been in the Migrant Fleet before. There's something…wistful about it."
Okay, we're at least on talking terms. I guess.
"Me neither." I say. I curse internally. That's the best I've got? But then I take a deep breath. "There's something about this life I understand, though. Drifting from place to place without knowing if or when I will ever go home. Though, I guess home was more of a state of mind than anything, seeing as how I grew up on ships and all."
She gives an "mm" response, and I fall silent. It didn't sound like a bad "mm", but it didn't sound like a "please continue talking" sort of "mm." So I don't.
I become aware of shouting down in the trial area. One of the admirals seems pretty pissed.
"Objection! A human has no business at a hearing involving such sensitive military matters!"
It's the one in the middle. He's got a purple and white suit, sorta like Kal, but he seems more arrogant. Maybe that's just me.
Raan, standing above the proceedings as the impartial judge, is unamused with the outburst.
"Then you should not have declared Tali crew of the Normandy, Admiral Koris. By right as Tali's captain, Shepard must stay."
I take a risk and speak quietly.
"Can you imagine being her kid and misbehaving?" I asked Miranda.
To the greatest relief I have ever felt, she chuckles.
"Oh god, that would have been terrifying. Your hair stand up on the back of your neck with that tone, too, huh?" She asked. She looks at me, and for a moment the warmth is there. But then it is business again. "That middle admiral is probably the one that we won't be able to budge?"
"Budge?" I asked. She raises an eyebrow.
"Don't pretend like you don't know what we have to do, John."
"Didn't Admiral Raan say that there's no politicking involved here-"
"That's exactly the thing that people who politick like crazy say." She cut me off. "Shepard can handle the actual legal legwork," She gestures to my sister, who is currently speaking in favor of Tali. "The rest of us, in whatever way, need to find the information that will acquit Tali. And if that involves politicking people…then that's what we will do."
We are interrupted from our thoughts by another commotion. Sis, of course, started it.
"I am happy to stand by Tali's side. But in her heart, she remains Tali'Zorah vas Neema, a proud member of the Migrant Fleet." She then lays it on thick. "I regret that her captain is forbidden to stand at her side today."
Like clockwork, the admiral in the middle takes the bait.
"Nobody is being forbidden from anything! It is a simple-" but then he is cut off by the Admiral to his left.
"Lie to them if you must, Zaal'Koris, but don't lie to me and expect me to stay silent! The human is right!"
There's a brief bit of shouting, but Raan restores order. Miranda is looking at the admiral who told off Koris, and raises an eyebrow.
"Who's the favorable one?"
"Admiral Gerrel." Zaeed speaks up. He's been writing things down on a holopad for some time now. "Bit of a softie. You'd need to show him the most damning proof imaginable for him to convict a Quarian as a traitor."
"How do you know that?" Miranda asked.
"Did some light consulting and security work for a company he invested in." Zaeed said. "Spoke with him once or twice. Bit boring to hear him go on and on about the Migrant Fleet, but eventually he won me over, just by loving his people so much." He sighed. "He sees the best in people. He's definitely not gonna convict."
So it's one to one. And then, after hearing the charges, I shudder. Tali is accused of bringing live Geth to the Migrant Fleet. That, uh, that sounds unlike her. And Sis points it out.
"How could Tali have brought geth to the Fleet while serving on the Normandy?" She asked.
The admiral on the far side, who hadn't spoken, speaks up.
"To clarify, Shepard, Tali isn't accused of bringing back entire units - only parts that could spontaneously re-activate."
At this, Tali spoke up.
"But I would never send active geth to the Fleet! Everything I sent was disabled and harmless!"
And then Koris dropped the bomb.
"Then explain how geth seized the lab ship where your father was working!"
There's pandamonium in the courtroom.
"...What are you talking about?" Tali asked. "What happened?"
Admiral Gerrel clears his throat.
"As far as we can tell, Tali, the geth have killed everyone on the Alarei…your father included."
"...What? Oh Keelah…"
She nearly slumps to the ground, but Garrus catches her. At this, Sis steps forward.
"I appreciate the need for a trial, Admirals, but right now our first concern must be the safety of the Migrant Fleet."
Admiral Raan nods.
"Thank you. Quarian strike teams have attempted to retake the ship, so far without success."
"Shepard, we have to retake the ship!" Tali said, having regained her composure.
Admiral Koris spoke next.
"The safest course would be to simply destroy the ship. But if you are looking for an honorable death instead of exile…"
God, what an asshole.
"You intend to retake the Alarei?" Admiral Raan asked. "This proposal is extremely dangerous."
"With your permission, Admirals, yes." Sis said. No wasted opportunity, I see. "The good of the Fleet must come first, and Tali needs to find her father."
"Agreed." Admiral Gerrel said. "And if you die on this mission, we will see that your name is cleared of these charges."
"That is something that we can discuss later." Admiral Koris replies testily.
Admiral Raan makes the moves to pause the trial so that Sis can lead a strike team to investigate the Alarei, but I'm more paying attention to Miranda. She's been watching Raan like a hawk for a few minutes. And then, as soon as court is adjourned, I ask her.
"You think she's up to something."
"Definitely. Shall we ask?"
"Absolutely."
…
While Sis is speaking with the others and gathering a headcount for the mission, I follow Miranda like a beeline to Admiral Raan. It doesn't take long for Miranda to speak.
"That was cold-hearted what you did."
Whoa. That is not what I expected from Miranda. Raan looks at her.
"I beg your pardon?"
She might be great at a lot of things, but not lying. So I let Miranda cook.
"You knew about the Alarei. You knew Tali's father might be dead, and you sat on it. Why?"
She doesn't deny it.
"You must understand…"
"Make us, then." I said. "Because as far as we saw, you just brought your niece home and then hurt her unimaginably."
"Auntie!" Tali is now here too, and she isn't happy. "You set me up! You told Captain Danna not to say anything, and I don't hear that my father may be dead until I'm in the trial? Why?"
"The Admirals needed to hear the shock in your voice, Tali." She said. "Otherwise they might not have approved you trying to retake the Alarei."
She looks down at the ground.
"It was the only card that I could play. And this is the best chance to find evidence that could exonerate you. I'm sorry, Tali, but we cannot afford sensitivity here."
"It's still cold, Auntie." Tali said. "But…I understand. I guess."
Miranda shakes her head, and walks away. I feel somewhat like a puppy, thinking I need to follow her. I make eye contact with Sis. She nods.
"Go see what's up with her, Bro. In the meantime, I'm gonna work the admirals. Maybe we can learn something from them."
"Makes sense." I said. I gesture to the gathered group of specialists. "You got plans for the strike team?"
"Yeah, I do." She said. "Tali will kill me if she isn't on the team, so she's in. Then I'm taking Garrus, Thane, and then Zaeed."
I don't bother hiding my hurt expression. Or body language, as it were.
"Bro, I'm about to go into a ship that is probably on its last legs, overrun by geth, and I need to move fast and stealthily on a search and rescue. You tend to be…destructive. Like a hammer and anvil."
"Okay, fair play but…" I somewhat angrily gesture towards Zaeed. "Zaeed is a bull in a china shop! I can follow orders!...well, marginally."
She crosses her arms.
"Fine. I'll think about it. But if you don't hear from me, assume that you're off the team."
That's annoying, but whatever. I nod, and then go follow Miranda.
…
I find her off to the side, staring out the space window into the vastness of nothing out there. She's got her arms crossed, and she doesn't acknowledge my presence. At first.
"You okay?" I ask.
"You and your sister are just…the worst." Miranda said.
"...Come again?"
She looks at me, and looks disgusted. But at what, I don't know.
"Before this mission, the galaxy made sense to me. You get ahead to get ahead, and then whomever you stepped on along the way? Well…they should have stepped on you first. I've spent a career doing the stepping, never once caring about anything other than the ends. And then I spend a little bit of time with your sister, and I agree with her ethos that lying to someone, even if it's for a greater good, is not something to be proud of."
I let that sit for a moment. And then I clear my throat.
"That sounds like you're just mad at Sis, not me-"
"And I'm mad at you because when I saw Admiral Raan not even flinch when Koris brought up the Alarei, I knew that she was planning for this moment and that everything banked on the reaction of her family. She actively was courting her family being hurt. Even if it was for the greater good, it was just such a shitty thing to do." She shakes her head. "And in that moment…" She closes her eyes. "I understood why you shot Dr. Archer."
I'm speechless. The weight of her words take my breath away. I couldn't say something even if I wanted to. So I let her talk some more.
"Don't get me wrong, I don't agree with it. But I understood it. You were acting out of rage for someone who abused their family. And that…that I understand. Because watching the Admiral do that to Tali, I imagined the possibility of doing something like that to Oriana. And I realized that I would rather jump in front of a raging Krogan than do that." She turned to face me. "Call me crazy, but it made me rethink what I said to you in the aftermath of Project Overlord. And how I treated you."
She gently grabbed my hands, and held them. I just stared at her.
She was speaking quietly now.
"John, it wasn't that long ago, but I remember how you made me feel with that first kiss. And, well, how you make me feel…period. And I feel like, because I was so wrapped up in my feelings, I damn near killed whatever it was that we had…before it even got started. And that…I don't want that. I know it's not about just me, but I…I just wanted to ask. Are you willing to try a…um…"
She trails off.
I find my words.
"A reboot?"
"Ugh, that sounds so clinical." Miranda chuckles. "But yes. I'd like a reboot. Hell, we didn't even do a date or anything like that before I blew up on you. But maybe it might be nice to, just, I don't know…"
I grab her hands back. She gasps slightly at the touch. I lean in close, and I whisper in her ear.
"You are adorable when you don't know what to say."
She laughs. It's pretty musical.
Then she looks at me, with an expectant smile.
"You still haven't answered me, you know."
I wish my mask was transparent, so she can see me smiling.
"Miranda, I-"
"Bro!"
Sis' voice comes through on the team-com.
Jesus Christ, Sis.
"...Yeah, Sis?"
"I need you. Now."
God. DAMMIT.
I look at Miranda, and she smiles softly.
"I can wait, John."
I clear my throat.
"I won't keep you long, Miranda."
I walk off, hoping that Sis is either dead or about to be dead to have interrupted me like that.
…
Instead it's…Zaeed? In handcuffs? Laughing?
I find Sis, and I look at her.
"Explain."
Garrus, who looks amused, starts talking.
"Well, see, Zaeed wanted to be helpful and ask some of the admirals their opinions about things. You know, for reconnaissance and things of that nature."
Next to him was Thane, who looked passive.
"He spoke well with two of the three judging admirals, and then he went to speak with Admiral Koris. That is when it went downhill. Fast."
Next to him was Tali, who was radiating annoyance.
"I warned him not to ask about the name."
Finally, Sis sighed.
"He's in lockup until we return for 'insulting an admiral.' So you're on deck, John."
I look at them, and then I look at Zaeed. He sees me, and through his laughter manages to shout out.
"Doc! Doc! They got ships - bahahaha - named the Defrahnz and the Iktomi! That means that there are Quarians named bloody vas Iktomi and vas Defrahnz! Oh bloody hell, this is totally worth it!"
As he is led away cackling, I look at Sis. And I manage to find my voice.
"...Could he maybe get kept locked up longer?"
"Why?" Sis asked. "Did he interrupt something for you?"
Oh Sis.
You have no idea.
A/N: …It's good to see you again.