A/N: EDIT: No feedback it seems...and here I thought people would would enjoy this idea. Maybe I should just stop with RWBY for awhile, folks clearly don't care for it...T_T

Being sick -and these infernal site glitches!- have decimated my energy for the time being. I'll update what I can, when I can, but it may be touch and go for a bit. In terms of updates, Apples and Atoms, Running to the Edge, Breath of Fresh Air, Long May He Reign, Elden Ring, Claws of a Lion, Gotta Adopt 'em All, and I Want it All are looking likely thus far.

Every review truly does help, large or small, anything is better than nothing at all.

Every bit of feedback is the wind beneath my wings, so...please...?

I know its weak of me to ask, but it truly does lift my spirits...

Do let me know what you think of that made little idea of mine, feedback means the world to me, truly, it does. As ever, I own no quotes, references, themes or memes. Not a wit or one. They're tributes, one and all. I'm just a humble author trying to make his way in this wild world, one word at a time. Time and feedback will determine if this should become a story. Simple as that.

In other words...everything is up to YOU, the reader. Do let me know~!

We're talking Machine-Head levels of sass here.

Its going to be...legendary.

TFS reference is obvious.

"Why you...! No fair! That's cheating!

"But I like cheating."

"Cheaters never prosper!"

"And yet here I am, triumphant. Funny how that works~!

I'll lie and fight and cheat to make sure I win.

Because in the end, nothing else matters.

Victory."

~Triumph Over Honor.

Cheaters Never Prosper

The water was relentless.

It crashed down onto his back from a great height, slamming into his exposed upper torso without relent. Such was its nature; the waterfall continued down its given path, and he'd chosen to place himself directly beneath it, bearing its weight on the boulder upon which he sat. Sitting up was an effort. Breathing became a physical act of will on his part; the act of inhaling and exhaling a choice. Maintaining his focus, even moreso.

Even so, Naruto remained sitting, eyes closed, legs crossed beneath him

His aura crackled angrily, baleful crimson sparks skittering across his skin as he struggled to keep it from being depleted. Beneath it, his chakra flexed and strained, struggling to adjust to the burden he was bearing. His muscles had long since ceased protesting, having gone numb to the pain of it all.

Blue eyes drifted open and began to bleed gold, the outer lids of his eyes becoming an angry orange as his pupils became a stern bar of black against the yellow. With it, he felt a familiar stirring of power. It was nothing compared to Kurama mind you; but even a shadow of his old strength was better than none at all.

Here at last, he permitted himself a small smile.

He'd missed this -more than he would ever admit aloud.

The reminder that, no, he wasn't crazy and yes, he was getting all his old skills back.

And on the night before Beacon, too.

Lucky~!

It had taken him YEARS to regain access to Sage Mode after losing it the first time; the focus, the concentration, finding the natural accumulation of natural energy, all of it had played havoc on his timetable. Before that it had been his shadow clones, and before that the transformation jutsu, then his precious chakra control, long since shattered by the new body in which he inhabited. On and on it went; learning to hunt, then even earlier, to walk and talk, to understand the new language of this weird wild world in which he found himself.

Truly, he'd been lucky to be reborn with chakra at all; else he'd be going at it from the very beginning.

Still missed Kurama, though.

'Rest in peace fuzzy buddy, wherever ya are...

For someone who'd already lived nearly nineteen years of their life the first time around, being forced to start again after your death was...

.

..

...rather humiliating, to say the least.

Still, he was nothing if not a fighter. He'd learned. Regained his skills...and some new ones besides.

Wresting his chakra upright, he raised his hands, pushing them up through the waterfall, forced each up against the water beating down on his back. From there, it was simply a matter of "adjusting" his chakra nature yet again until he found the pairing he decided. Ice crackled at his fingertips, slowly at first, then spreading out with an audible crack, freezing the falls solid.

Satisfied with his work, he tore his arms free, shook the excess moisture from his black swim-trunks, and stood.

Not bad for someone who didn't want to be Huntsman.

Nope, not bad at all.

'As if you're gonna sit behind a desk somewhere or clean tables.' he scoffed at himself. 'Face it buddy, that ship sailed. This is your life now, this is what you do. You're a duelist, someone who enjoys breaking bones nearly as much as you do egos. Like that Winchester schmuck last week.'

His face split in a smile, recalling that brief burst of glorious violence. Extreme violence.

Bah! Served him right for picking a fight with his baby sister in the first place.

And he'd accidentally broken his arms and legs, oh no!

Smug prick had been too busy bragging about being selected for Beacon; he'd picked the wrong fight and the wrong place and the wrong time. He'd found one; and soon found himself folded him like a pretzel, tucked up like a human knot and thrown back to his cronies. Remembering the fearful looks on his face, it was entirely possibly he wouldn't make it to tomorrow's initiation, too.

'You fight. And you win. That's it. That's all. Own it already. You can't talk your way out of your new life, and you sure as hell can't punch your way through, so you might as well accept it.

He'd been forced to accept an awful lot of things since being reborn in Remnant against his will.

Auntie Summer had always laughed about that...before...you know.

Idly, he caught sight of himself in the ice-flow he'd created. A stranger stared back at him as he heaved a sigh at his sullen reflection.

Whereas Yang was all lilac eyes and bright, tawny blond hair, fiery and wild, he'd been born a different beast. His eyes were neither wholly blue nor red, but a startling fusion of the two. Heterochromia they called it. His right eye roared a riot red, while the left blazed baleful blue. His hair meanwhile, was a shaggy mess of midnight black that fell well behind his shoulders in an unruly mane. He'd long since given up on cutting it; the long locks always grew back too quickly.

Uncle Qrow teased him about that sometimes, saying he'd gotten her good looks and pale complexion.

Felt like her temperament too, sometimes.

New appearance. New mom. New dad. New uncle. New aunt. New twin. New baby sister...

"Yin!"

...who was even now calling his name. He could hear her in the distance now, coming closer. Honestly, that girl. Did she have any idea how hard it was to find a waterfall on patch? Let alone one that was this isolated, far from the Grimm, and away from civilization? Meditation was a pain in the ass, but he needed it to keep himself in check these days, needed to be alone to focus his mind.

"Yin! Are you there?"

Maybe if he closed his eyes and remained perfectly still, she wouldn't notice him.

"Yiiiiin! C'mon, don't hide...

Naruto loathed that name with an arctic distaste that would make Jacques Schnee shrivel up and cry for his mother. The name was everything he was not, everything he wasn't meant to be. Why couldn't it be something cool? Like Menma? Or maybe flip his name around. Outran, or something. Anything was better than what he had. Something that stuck out, ya know?

But noooo. Yin. Dad sucked when it came to names.

In certain philosophy, Yin was the passive female principle of the universe, characterized as female and sustaining and associated with earth, dark, and cold. He should've been Yang, which was active male principle of the universe, characterized as male and creative and associated with heaven, heat, and light. But nope, Mom and Dad -whether through blind ignorance or sheer stubbornness- gave up on the conventional naming scheme for the two of them and settled for the best they could think of.

'Not to self. When I find Mom, beat her ass. I wanted a better name!'

There you are~!"

Someone was poking his cheek.

Naruto's right eye twitched. Drifted open now, followed by his left with a sullen sigh.

Sure enough, a familiar pair of silver eyes gazed back at him, gleaming in the full moonlight. She'd somehow gotten above him, perched herself on a tree branch overlooking the waterfall, and hung upside down to get at him. Her smile was light and light itself, all cheery enthusiasm, everything he didn't feel like dealing with right now.

"Hi~!"

...hello, Ruby." his shoulders slumped in defeat. "Did you need something?"

Her head titled. "Kinda? Hold on, just lemme get dow-yeeeek!"

She squeaked as the branch buckled beneath her and fell.

He caught her, of course; it was what he did.

Ever catching her before she got hurt.

Constantly saving her.

Always.

Ruby was just so...pure. It was almost impossible to stay angry with her. Unlike Yang. His twin's antics were always driving him up the wall. Not so his little sister. She annoyed him sometimes, but never enough to provoke a brawl. Yang was little better; she was his twin for crying out loud and he barely understood her. So loud, so noisy, so friendly.

Just like him, once upon a time, before he got himself dragged into a second life he neither needed nor wanted.

But that was neither he nor there.

"Up you go."

Helping his half-sister up, he dusted her off and set her down on both feet.

She looked past him, eyeing the frozen waterfall. "Training again?"

"This'll be the last time," he confirmed with a nod. "I won't be able to get peace like this when I'm sharing a dorm with three other people."

He didn't even want to attend Beacon, but he had to. Yang was headed there, after all.

Yang, the party animal. Yang, the risk-taker. Yang, the reckless.

Someone had to keep an eye on her.

Frankly, he'd wanted to go anywhere else, -maybe Mistral- but Yang was focused on Beacon, so to Beacon they would go. Much to his chagrin...

Ruby tugged on his sleeve with a petulant whine. "Yiiiin! Stop ignoring me! I have something to tell you!"

"Yeah, I hear you...

Naruto idly tousled her hair, causing said whine to intensify.

He didn't hate Ruby; if anything, he pitied her. She lived such an idealized life, believing in heroes, black and white morality, that the good guys always won. It was naive. But then again, she was two years younger than him. He supposed she could afford to be. Why, he might actually miss her -just a little!- when he left for Beacon.

Evidently poor Ruby had enough of him frizzing her hair; because she launched herself at him; a blur of petals in his peripheral vision.

Without even looking her way, lazily swept her legs, knocked her down and pinned her to the ground, then stomped on her chest for good measure, pinning her in place.

"See?" he leaned down to poke her temple. "You made the same mistake Yang does Don't be reckless."

She growled adorably up at him, kicking her legs. "Why you...! No fair! That's cheating!

He held his foot in pace, humming as her Aura strained. "But I like cheating."

Her silver eyes flashed indignantly. "Cheaters never prosper!"

A dark brow rose. "And yet here I am, triumphant. Funny how that works~! I'll lie and fight and cheat and do whatever it takes to win. Because at the end of the day, only one thing matters in this world."

She huffed angrily, already knowing the answer. "Victory?"

"Victory." he nodded once in satisfaction, bopped her on the nose, took her by the hand and helped her up. "Stuff like that is why I never let you out of my sight in class. That said, you'll have to fend for yourself in Signal for the next two years with me and Yang gone. Think you can handle it?"

His precious little sister averted her gaze, suddenly. Suspiciously so. "About that...

An alarm went off in his head. His brow furrowed. "Ruby...what did you do?"

She looked away and kicked at the dirt. "Alright, but you can't be mad at me."

That sounded like a perfectly justifiable reason to be angry. "What. Did you do?"

"Alright, first, I was minding my own business when-

Naruto punched a tree, denting it. "Bullshit!"

"I waaas!" she wailed adorably.

He planted a hand on his hip. "And what, little sister, exactly happened while you were minding your own business, hmm?"

Ruby had the good grace to flush at that. She'd always been a bit of a blusher. "Well, I was just reading some weapon magazines in a dust shop when these schmucks tried to rob me." she began to wave her hands about for emphasis, trying to illustrate the scene as only a fifteen-year-old-girl could in her own awkward way. "One of them told me to get on my knees, but I'm a certified badass even without Crescent Rose now, so-

"Language." he chopped her on the head.

"Ow!" she rubbed the sore spot and glared up at him. "Are you going to let me finish or not?"

He waved her on, mildly bemused.

"Anyway, I didn't have Crescent Rose on me, so I whipped out my amazing kung fu skills-

"Which I taught you."

"Which you taught me," she allowed with a nod, "Aaand I beat down all but one of them."

Odd, that wasn't like Ruby to leave one go. "What happened to the last one?

She giggled into her right hand. "Pussed out and ran like a bitch."

He chopped her again, making her yelp.

Damnit Uncle Qrow...

"But hey, I chased him down and captured him!" She beamed up at him. "Then this amazing teacher showed up, and I got into Beacon early!"

Naruto's brow shot up into his hair and vanished there. "Excuse me?"

She babbled something about Roman Torchwick and a dust robbery and a Miss Goodwitch -he remembered that smoking hot babe when Headmaster Ozpin scouted him and Yang a few years back- but he only half heard Ruby's remarks, because his mind was whirling.

He hadn't been reborn yesterday, thank-you-very-much.

This reeked of a setup. That, or impeccable timing.

No, definitely a setup.

-and Dad said yes!" Ruby flung up her arms with a whoop, recapturing his attention. "So I get to come with you and Yang tomorrow!"

Joy of joys.

'Well, that settles things. I'm gonna have to go with them, aren't I?' he despaired mentally. 'Someone has to keep an eye on them.'

And really, attending Beacon two whole years early? Yang was already a danger, but Ruby was going to get herself hurt; maybe killed. He could hardly bow out and attend another academy now, could he? They'd be hurt if he turned on them like that. Damn shame. Mistral was supposed to be nice this time of year; supposedly there were several strong contenders over there. Real top-tier fighters.

Still...maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all.

After all, nobody said he had to be on a team with his sisters. Ruby was still babbling on, lost in her own little world as he humored her, but she hadn't even made a single mention of them being on the same team as of yet. Oh, he knew she would, poor girl could be a bit of a wallflower, but he didn't want to spend every since second of the next four years babysitting his sisters. He'd look in on them, protect them -that was what a good big brother did, unwilling or otherwise!-but being on the same team?!

No, thank you!

Maybe he could find a team of his own. Wouldn't that be something? Perhaps a smoldering dark beauty with bright eyes, or a gorgeous redhead, a beautiful blond...

Yeah, he was getting into it; the more he dwelt on it, the more enthused he became; his newfound apathy slowly slipping away. Beacon was supposedly getting a ton of highly skilled students this year from all corners of the globe. Not just from Vale, but Vacuo, Mistral, Atlas, even a few faunus from Menagerie, apparently. All of them were said to be creme of the crop.

And if he had to "cheat" a little to ensure he met the best teammates, then so be it.

Who said Cheaters Never Prosper?

Not him!

(...Initiation Passes By...)

Naruto regarded his newly formed -and highly dysfunctional!- team in quiet disbelief.

To their credit, his teammates stared back at him, awaiting his response.

By the inferno, he had to make the first move, didn't he?

In hindsight, after the sheer chaos of Initiation -and what a wild one it was!- he wasn't entirely sure whether this counted as a task failed successfully, or a mission accomplished. Was it both? Kinda felt like both if he was being honesty. In a sense, he'd gotten what he'd wanted, but at the same time...

.

..

...he hadn't quiet expected things to go quite this way.

No.

Nay.

Never.

Not at all like this! Not in a million years!

From the moment he first set foot off the airship, he'd plotted and planned and plied his skills to the utmost, all to make certain things went his way. And they had, in a sense. He achieved his goals for the most part and attracted attention without revealing his skills overmuch.

Better yet, he'd avoided eye contact with those he absolutely couldn't stand to be partnered with, nudged others in the right direction, subtly influenced team pairings to his heart's content. All while making sure no one died during Initiation; he even had a chance to cut down a great many Grimm and showoff a little. Not bad for a guy who hadn't unlocked his semblance, eh?

And his teammates were all girls!

So why did it feel like he'd lost somehow?

No point in dwelling on it, he supposed. Might as well bite the bullet; he gained nothing from being a bump on the proverbial log.

With a long-suffering sigh, Naruto slapped his cheeks to psych himself up and stood.

"Alright, who wants to introduce themselves first...?"

Three hands shot upward.

"I shoulda known...right, you." he pointed to the one in the center, a young woman with long dark hair. "You're up. I never did get your name...

Her golden gaze gleamed intently, full lips inching upward in the faintest smile as she tilted her head to regard him intently. Calmly. A beat of silence passed between the two of them, broken only by the faint ticking of the clock on the wall above. And for a moment, just a moment, he thought saw fire in those eyes.

Without warning, she uncrossed her legs, rose now, and offered him her hand.

"Its a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Yin." her voice sent a low thrill of danger shooting through him. "You may call me...Cinder."

"The pleasure is all mine." He accepted her hand -oddly warm, that- and shook her fingers girmly.

For some reason that made "Cinder" smile; it made him instantly wary of her.

Releasing her, he turned to face his remaining teammates.

"And you are...?"

A/N: Oh, crap.

Crap, crap, crapbaskets!

Or is it? Is this an alternate universe?

Because if it ain't and Cinder is here, in Beacon, NOW, with no sign of her minions...that's bad. That's veeery bad.

Of course, I could always tweak things.

And there we go! Template complete! Who else did he end up with? We'll expand on it should it become a story, show initiation, and all that jazz.

Heck, you can even vote on the team compositions! I already have an idea in mind, but I'm curious to see what folks might come up with given that Beacon has quite a few more "applicants" this time around, if you catch my drift...

This time around we have a smart, sassy Naruto, with a pairing that'll surprise you. And no, not Ruby or Yang. No incest. Protecc the pure beans.

Aaaand there we go. As ever, reviews keep me alive. Without them, I cannot write.

Sooooooooo...in the Immortal Words of Atlas...Review...Would You Kindly?

EDIT: And there we go. Hope this piqued your interest.

See you all tomorrow, one way or another.

Warm regards,

~Nz.