This is a Public Service Announcement
You live in a nice part of the Warp. Your commute to possession is never very long, the environment is toxic to mortals, and the sun is never shining. But! Not everything is as perfect as it may seem. Lurking just under your noses might be a certain intruder into your home.
Are the Flood living under your porch?
Far from just some water damage brought about by hiring a Great Unclean One to fix your toilets, make no mistake, the Flood are just as nasty critters. The only thing that they like to do more than self-propagate is sneak into your cupboards and steal your favorite snacks for themselves.
They like to sneak through the cracks in the floorboards so to speak. Crawling around, messing with your schemes, grabbing up your worshippers and- BAM! They're gone quicker than a daemonette when you ask for a second date.
Your first instinct might be to chase them away with a broom or a warband. But you need to reign in those berserker instincts of yours, tough guy. The only way to properly deal with a Flood infestation is to rely on our team of experts. We'll come to your home and make sure the Flood never even gets the chance to steal from you. Just listen to these satisfied customers!
"They stole all my aeldari soul stones and servants! Now I'm destitute and I won't be able to afford a nice skin-dress for the next Slaaneshi gala!"
"THEY TOOK ALL MY FFFFFFFFFUCKING CHAIN-AXES! WHEN I GET A HOLD OF THEM… WAIT, ARE YOU WITH THEM! GET OVER HERE YOU PIECE OF-!"
"They trampled- huuuuh- all over my beautiful- urgh-HCK!- garden! I didn't even- kehugh- have any Flood!"
Just listen to those happy daemons!
But, don't wait! Even if you do not currently have a Flood infestation, one could pop up at any moment! Therefore, we will offer a discounted price of (negative) fifty percent off our premium package for anyone who calls in the next twelve hours!
THAT'S RIGHT! YOU CAN GET AS MUCH AS (negative) FIFTY PERCENT OFF OUR EXTREMELY NECESSARY PREMIUM PACKAGE!
Call now at 999-999-999! That's 729-729-729!
Brought to you by the CIA (Changeling Insurance Agency)