Heyo~ (ﾉಠヮಠ)ﾉ:･ﾟ.*
Welcome to chapter 7 *^*
Sorry for being a tad late xD half a day aaaaaaahhh- but yeah xD Here you go *0*
Chapter 7 of this thing xD Some of you were hoping for cuddling-
Well...
Let´s just say there will be some sort of interaction xDDDDD
Lots and lots of thanks to my dear beta *0* Who corrected this so quick 3 Thank you Soylent Ramen C:
Reader: xDDD indeed they are xD haha I can´t really spoiler but anyway, cute things will be happening soon enough C; xD
Guest: xDDDDDDDDD Well- let´s say I kind of considered what you asked for hmmmmmmmm let´s see C; *3* xD
and2728: of course I will keep going *0* Now faster than before xD and thank you ;/; 3
Guest 2: xDDDD and haha, Shizuo did not quite fall asleep yet C; He is just trying to ignore the flea xD Ohhh I love how you always notice the best parts~ xD Yeah hehe C: That´s exactly what I wanted to show with his train of thoughts C: Shizu-chan would make a cute protector don´t you think~? C; xDD
Well then enough rambling *0*
Let´s get on with the story xD
Enjoy~! (ﾉಠヮಠ)ﾉ:･ﾟ.*
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ஜ Chapter 7: Suppressed feelings ஜ
"Shut up."
Izaya let his eyes trail over the blond that was facing away from him sort of taken aback. He sure was grumpy.
Well. After a day like this… he couldn´t exactly be mad for that.
Letting himself fall back onto the mattress, he crossed his arms behind his head.
There was not much to be seen above them, though.
Leaves. That was all. After all, they were in a tree.
Green leaves, brown leaves, leaves with caterpillars on them, leaves with other kinds of insects-
Really now.
He wasn´t going to stare up at some bugs until the sun was done setting and he could sleep in darkness. It wasn´t like Izaya wasn´t tired enough to sleep, no, not that, but he disliked sleeping in the daylight where something, or someone, could see him and ambush him.
...
He was pretty sure that Simon had not been killed by a zombie.
He was too smart and too strong for it. No, what he had in mind was something else, and it didn´t scare him any less.
So he was not going to close his eyes until he was sure no one would be able to discover them. Be it human or zombie.
The mattress shifted, and to no one's surprise, the blond growled, annoyed, almost instantly.
Izaya had gotten up and was standing on the mattress, rustling in the leaves.
Shizuo frowned, watching as some leaves trailed down on top of him and threw them down the tree.
"What the hell are you doing, flea?" he grumbled, watching as the raven's hands rustled between the twigs and branches.
The only thing he got from the flea was a smirk, though. He pulled at a few branches more, causing more shit to fall on the mattress.
"Oi-" But then he sat down and let himself fall back as he crossed his arms behind his head once more.
"Well, look up." Shizuo frowned, not exactly amused, but looked up anyway.
"Why would I-"
And then he paused.
"Oh."
The raven chuckled.
Honestly, he just wanted to be able to look at something other than leaves, but this was even better.
He had moved a few branches away, tugged them in a way so they wouldn´t snap back to their initial position, and created a hole in the tree.
One through which he could see the sky.
The sun was already setting, and while to their right the sun was gleaming brightly, drowning everything in red and orange, right above them, it was already darker, purple, blue, with a few stars dotting the sky.
A sight almost too beautiful for times like these.
"You know, looking up like that, you could think everything is still okay." Shizuo tilted his head a bit, actually looking at the flea next to him.
"What do you mean?" Izaya shrugged.
"You know, as if nothing happened at all. As if everything is still as before." No zombies, no destroyed city- conveniences such as a nice bath or shower, otooro, the internet and light at night.
Everything, to sum it up in a nutshell.
"... maybe sometime it will return to being that way." It was Shizu-chan who had spoken the words.
Heh, he sounded really calm at the moment. From Izaya´s point of view, it always was a stupid thing to just dwell on old memories. It kept one from evolving. But strangely, now, in a situation like this, he found it to be strangely comforting.
"Being optimistic now?" he asked, something like a smile spreading over his lips. A sigh followed- the air was getting a bit colder and for a second, Izaya regretted that he hadn´t grabbed that guy´s blanket, as well.
Then again... it was soaked in the man´s blood and insides...
No, thank you; he would prefer to freeze over touching that gross thing.
"Why not? Maybe something will happen. Maybe the virus will stop... virus-whoring around, or I don´t even know. What if everything turned back to normal?" Izaya snorted.
"And here I always thought Shizu-chan was a pessimist."
The blond shrugged.
"But imagine it. Everything back as it was-" he mumbled, and he almost looked happy there for a second, through all that dirt and weary expression.
"Tom and me going to collect depts. Kasuka doing shoots,"
Wait, what?
"You trying to frame me for shit, and saying shit about my brother. Simon will be handing sushi out. And your sister will try getting close to my brother."
...
Warily, Izaya eyed the blond, sitting up on the mattress.
Shizuo still looked happy.
"Maybe if the virus disappears, everything could be like before again."
He didn´t like this kind of Shizuo at all.
Not.
At.
All.
He had seen people like him, he had seen them go insane.
Nice people.
People who wouldn´t hurt a fly on purpose.
"Shizu-chan, Tom is dead."
The sentence cut through the night like a hot knife through butter.
And then it was really quiet for a second.
Shizu-chan had stopped talking; instead, he looked at the raven as if he had just told him the Easter bunny didn´t exist.
He had forgotten.
No, not forgotten. Shizu-chan had repressed it.
"Same for Kasuka. They won´t return no matter what." To be honest, it scared Izaya.
He had taken the brute with him because he thought he could be useful. Someone strong like him, a walking zombie-killing machine, what bad would there be about dragging him along.
But he forgot that Shizu-chan wasn´t like him. He forgot that he might not be able to deal with this new reality, just like many others.
Shizuo could do nothing but blink for a moment.
Right...
Shit.
Shit.
He had... no… what was he even talking about?
Just now, he had been about to yell at Izaya right? He had been about to ask him what the fuck he was talking about.
That was when he realized what he was even saying.
Fuck.
They were dead, weren´t they.
And he killed-
"Shizuo, you killed your brother and best friend." Izaya´s voice snapped him out of his daze again, and he looked at the raven. He hadn´t even used his stupid nickname. Instead, he was looking at him in a really serious way.
"Can you deal with it?"
...
What a weird question.
Could he deal with it?
...
With...
He didn´t know.
He did.
Didn´t he?
"Yeah," he answered, not too sure about his own answer, but what else could he do? He had to deal with it. What else was supposed to happen?
He would forget.
Just forget.
But Izaya saw right through him. There was no way someone like Shizuo could deal with killing a person, that person being his best friend and brother on top of it.
He couldn´t. He could see so many emotions reflect in the brute´s eyes. It was too much for him, wasn´t it?
...
Shizu-chan wasn´t able to just store his emotions away like Izaya could. He thought it was strange, ever since he had started talking about killing his brother.
Was he trying to ignore it? Maybe, but he couldn´t- he couldn´t mourn, either, if he kept telling himself that nothing happened.
...
It was obvious to Izaya.
He couldn´t deal with it- so he had to make him deal with it in the only way he understood.
"Ne, Shizu-chan, did you enjoy killing your brother?"
...
Pause.
For a second Shizuo really wondered if somehow he had terribly misunderstood Izaya´s words just now.
"What." That didn´t even sound like a question. It literally sounded as if he had just spelled the word for the sake of his brain catching up on what he said.
Setting up his best smirk the raven grinned, getting up from his spot.
"Well you are a monster, Shizu-chan, so I bet you enjoyed it, no~?"
Shut up.
"After all, I mean, you love violence, don´t you? You always hurt so many, and they were just zombies, right?" Izaya grinned, setting his best smirk in place.
"Ne, Shizu-chan~", he leaned down a bit to the still frozen Shizuo. "What did it feel like to shoot your brother in the head? I´m sure you shot him there. Did his brain fly out? Did it stain your shirt? How gross."
-THUD-
At that something had snapped.
Snapped in two senses.
Whatever branch Shizuo had gripped while Izaya spoke to him, Izaya heard it crack before he found it aimed at his face- serving quite well as a new version of Shizu-chan´s stop signs as he flew down the tree-
Now laying there, on his back- and damn that fall wasn´t exactly something he wanted to describe as graceful.
A thundering thud followed, and before he knew it, there was a shadow looming over him- soon after, he was pulled up by his shirt.
A punch- to his face this time, but the hand on his collar held him in place.
Ahh, that hurt- another one followed.
One after the other.
Not as powerful as usual- Shizu-chan clearly wasn´t using all his strength.
No. Clearly. And he had a feeling even Shizu-chan knew why.
But it was better now than later.
He was heaving, steaming like a bull, hitting him countless times- Izaya was sure to be bruised the next day for this, but what did appearance even matter.
With the kind of guilt Shizu-chan would feel Izaya wouldn´t have to worry about not being able to protect himself. Shizu-chan would do it fairly well. Like a pawn.
It didn´t take long.
Five minutes.
Maybe ten.
Then the brute laid off him.
Izaya didn´t even need to say anymore.
He went over to the tree- now letting his rage out at it.
More of it. He hit the thing harder than he had hit Izaya, that was for sure.
But it had to be that way.
He had to vent somehow, get through this. By screaming or whatever- and his best way of dealing with emotion was also what he hated the most. Violence.
Good thing Izaya was an expert in getting the blond to use it.
It took a couple more minutes and blood was dripping down his knuckles until Shizu-chan finally stopped hitting the tree.
Izaya was still laying in the grass, looking at the sky, and from time to time scanning his surroundings, in case anything non-human was approaching them.
A soft breeze was blowing over the scene as Shizuo slumped down, leaning onto the tree he had just punched.
His knuckles were red, hurt- blood was streaming from them. Izaya looked at them for a bit, wondering if he should patch that up later.
But what interested him more right now was Shizu-chan himself.
He had pulled his legs up, hiding his expression in his knees, but Izaya could imagine what he was looking like right now.
"... feeling better now?" It was Izaya who had asked the question, turning his head back to stare at the sky.
Darkness was taking over the scene more and more and the stars were coming out in earnest.
He glanced over at the blond with his red eyes, but the brute was shaking his head.
"I killed them Izaya." He looked up, tilted his head just enough so he could look at the flea.
Izaya blinked.
He didn´t know what to make of it.
Shizuo´s expression. He hated to admit that Shizu-chan could ever be a human. He was a monster, always had been.
But right now, he showed an expression so human, Izaya couldn´t deny it even if he wanted to.
There was only pain and regret reflecting in his eyes.
"I murdered them-!" Guilt. Sadness.
So many emotions.
"It´s okay." It had been a whisper so quiet as to be nearly silent, but Shizuo had caught it nonetheless-
"Okay?" Nothing was okay about anything here.
Nothing...
But Izaya shook his head as if to convince Shizu-chan otherwise.
"Look, you see all the stars?" Shizuo looked up, a bit surprised by the sudden switch of topic.
... there were lots of stars.
Now that he sun had almost set, he could see them.
Sparkling.
Beautiful-
"We are just like them." A little confused, he looked back at the raven. He was still staring at the sky. "Did you know the light of stars takes so long to travel to us, that the star may have already died when we finally see the light?"
Shizuo thought about it.
Yeah... back in Raira sometime in physics. He thought the teacher said something about it.
"Our body, the material substance might have vanished already, but we will stay in everybody's minds for a long time and be alive, just like the light of the stars is still there and being seen and remembered."
...
Remembered, huh?
"In other words, they aren´t gone just because they are dead. They are still here because we can see them in our memories. Think of it that way."
...
Memories, he said.
He certainly had a lot of his brother.
"That´s... actually quite nice, coming from you."
Izaya chuckled.
"I´m not 24/7 as mean as you may think I am. It´s hard to keep that up, especially in a world where reputation doesn´t pay off anymore."
...still...
...
"I´m sorry." Izaya blinked, tilting his head so he could look at the blond.
"Whoa, Shizu-chan apologizing. I think now you really went insane." Shizuo couldn´t help but smile a bit at that.
He knew it already.
"I know why you said that. I think... I guess I needed that..." He felt better. Despite hating violence so much, and not feeling perfectly well with beating Izaya up like this when he was actually trying to help, he did feel better.
Kasuka was dead, yeah. His girlfriend.
Tom was, too.
He knew it. But right now, with the louse around him and saying those things, it was almost as if it was alright.
"Thank you, flea."
...
Izaya sighed and sat up from his supine position.
At least it had worked and he didn´t get those bruises for nothing. He was about to get up on his feet when he found something stretched out towards his face.
He blinked.
A hand.
Shizu-chan was the one offering his hand.
"Sorry ´bout that." he mumbled, glancing at his face.
The raven snorted.
He took the hand and the blond pulled him up as they crawled back into the tree.
Really now.
He felt like he now owned a domesticated tiger.
To be continued~
C:
Isn´t Shizu-chan cute? xD Well except for hitting Izaya, but oh my, he probably deserved that one for everything else he ever did anyway xD
Again sorry for the slight delay in updating C:
Hehe, soon, SOON the interesting things are gonna happen *0* xD Things that will mess Shizuo up just a little bit C:
Cuz -why not xD ahhh~ Already looking forward to this~ ohhhhh yesssssss
hehe C:
xD
Anyway~ I hope you liked this chapter C: and see you next sunday *0*0*0*! xD
PS.: Sorry about "no escape"- those who are waiting, I will try to get it done by today, so if you are lucky you should get it by tomorrow :C gomene