Chapter 3: An Unexpected Lead

Ace Ventura and Stanley Ipkiss sprinted out of the alley like their lives depended on it, which, given the size and speed of the snarling dog chasing them, was only a slight exaggeration.

"Don't look back!" Ace shouted, though he himself stole a glance over his shoulder. "Correction: DEFINITELY look back! That thing's part dog, part steamroller!"

Stanley clutched Milo tightly as he huffed and puffed, barely keeping up. "What… do… we… do?"

"We apply the ancient art of strategic retreat! Otherwise known as… RUN!" Ace skidded to a halt in front of a fence, then whipped out a collapsible ladder from nowhere. He set it up with a flourish and gestured dramatically. "After you, my pajamaed friend!"

Stanley didn't argue. He scrambled up the ladder, gripping Milo with one arm. Ace followed close behind, yanking the ladder up just as the snarling beast launched itself at them. The dog hit the fence with a loud clang and barked furiously as they disappeared over the other side.

Stanley collapsed onto the grass, gasping for air. "That… was… insane."

Ace stood triumphantly, dusting himself off. "Insane? No, no, no, my friend. That was a normal Tuesday." He pulled a tiny comb from his pocket and began fixing his hair. "Now then, where were we? Oh yes, solving the mystery of Milo's kidnapping!"

"Kidnapping?" Stanley asked, sitting up. "We just found him in an alley."

"Exactly," Ace said, pointing a finger in the air like a detective unraveling a master plan. "Which raises the question: how did he get there? And more importantly," his voice switching to his best Captain Kirk impersonation, "who—or what—put him there?"

Stanley frowned. "You think someone dumped him?"

"Not in the same way your ex-girlfriend dumped you… But," Ace nodded gravely. "Stanley, my dear Watson, this is no ordinary case of a doggone dog. This has the markings of a conspiracy! A vast, shadowy network of… something sinister."

"Could you cut it out with the ex-girlfriend stuff? It's still a bit of a touchy subject for me. Besides that, maybe Milo just got out and wandered off?" Stanley suggested.

Ace gasped, clutching his chest. "Blasphemy! Milo would never abandon his human unprompted. No, no. There's foul play afoot, and Ace Ventura doesn't rest until the foul is thoroughly plucked!"

Before Stanley could respond, a voice interrupted them.

"Hey! You two!"

They turned to see a grizzled man in a janitor's uniform standing a few feet away, holding a trash bag and a mop. "What are you doing in my yard?"

"Your yard?" Stanley asked, confused.

"Yes," the janitor said, narrowing his eyes. "You just climbed over my fence. What, you think this is a dog park?"

Ace stepped forward, extending his hand. "Ace Ventura, Pet Detective. And you, my good man, may be in possession of the key to unraveling this canine caper."

The janitor didn't shake his hand. "What?" He then looked at both Ace and Stanley. "Are the two of you guys brothers or something? You look a lot like each other.

Looking back at Stanley, Ace made an appalling face. "HEE-HEE-HEE wishes! I mean… just look at him. I'm a prime rib, while he's… chopped liver. No offense, Stan the man, but these loins were cut from the finest cloth."

Stanley and Milo both rolled their eyes. "None taken."

Ace turned his attention back toward the janitor and leaned in conspiratorially. "We're on the trail of a missing mutt, recently recovered, but possibly connected to a nefarious scheme. Have you noticed anything unusual? Suspicious characters? Shadowy figures? Perhaps an overly large raccoon?"

The janitor frowned. "No. But I did see someone dump a dog in that alley last night. Didn't think much of it at the time."

Stanley's eyes widened. "You saw who did it?"

"Not exactly," the janitor admitted. "It was dark. But they drove off in a black van. Looked like one of those delivery trucks."

Ace's face lit up. "A black van! Of course! The universal vehicle of villains everywhere. Thank you, kind sir. Your mop-wielding wisdom has set us on the path to justice!"

The janitor scratched his head. "Uh, sure. Just don't climb my fence again."

Ace gave him a thumbs-up. "Noted. Now, Stanley, to the Ventura-mobile!"

Stanley groaned as Ace pulled him toward the scooter. "You seriously call this thing the Ventura-mobile?"

"Don't be jealous of its charm," Ace replied, revving the engine. "Now hold on tight. Next stop: villainous van-ville!"

As they sped off, Stanley couldn't shake the feeling that this was far from over. Milo barked happily in his lap, blissfully unaware of the chaos he'd just caused. Meanwhile, Ace was already humming a theme song of his own invention, complete with sound effects.

"Duh-duh-duh-duh, Ace Ventura! Solving crimes and looking fine… oh yeah!"

Stanley sighed. "Why did I hire this guy again?"

Milo licked his face in response, and Stanley couldn't help but laugh.

"Alright, Ace," he said, shaking his head. "Let's find that van."

To be continued...