Chapter 6: The Mask Strikes Back

The Ventura-mobile screeched to a stop outside Ace's apartment, which looked less like a residence and more like a bizarre combination of a zoo, thrift store, and circus. Exotic birds squawked from cages, a monkey swung lazily from a hanging lamp, and a raccoon was busy attempting to peel a banana it had stolen from the kitchen counter.

Stanley stepped inside cautiously, clutching Milo. "I can't believe you actually live here. And you had the nerve to make fun of my place."

Ace spread his arms wide. "Home sweet home! And may I just say, my feng shui is off the charts."

Stanley grimaced as a parrot swooped dangerously close to his head. "How do you even sleep in this place? Were you born in a jungle?"

Ace shot Stanley a mean glare. "Where I was born is none of your damn business, and I'll thank you to stay out of my personal affairs." He then smirked. "And as far as how I sleep… with one eye open and a tennis racket under my pillow. Keeps the raccoons in line." He turned to Milo, who was wagging his tail happily. "Now, let's get down to business. You—fuzzy and adorable—are going to help us crack this case wide open."

Stanley frowned. "What are you talking about? Milo's just a dog."

Ace gasped, clutching his chest as if he'd been mortally wounded. "Just a dog? Stanley, how dare you? This noble beast is the missing link to our entire mystery! Look at those eyes. Those ears. That tail. His butt," Ace said, holding up Milo's tail. "He knows something."

Milo tilted his head and barked. Ace nodded sagely. "Exactly. He agrees." Though Milo was mostly concerned about the butt comment.

Stanley rolled his eyes. "You're impossible… and gross."

Ace grinned. "And yet, here you are. Now, let's get to work." He marched over to a cluttered desk and began rummaging through drawers. Papers, rubber chickens, and even a snorkel flew over his shoulder as he searched. Finally, he pulled out a map of Edge City and slapped it onto the table.

"Alrighty then," Ace said, grabbing a marker. "We know the bad guys are after the mask. We know they're connected to that warehouse. And we know… absolutely nothing else. Which means it's time to connect the dots."

Stanley raised an eyebrow. "How exactly are we supposed to do that?"

"With a little Ventura ingenuity," Ace replied, pulling a magnifying glass out of nowhere and dramatically inspecting the map. "Step one: find their base of operations. Step two: infiltrate said base. Step three: save the day and look fabulous doing it."

Stanley sighed. "Do you even have a lead?"

Ace grinned. "Funny you should ask. I happen to know a guy who knows a guy who owes a guy a favor. Let's just say, the local underworld and I have… history."

As if on cue, Ace's phone rang. He picked it up with a flourish. "Ace Ventura, Pet Detective. How may I make your day weirder?" He listened for a moment, his expression shifting from amused to intrigued. "Uh-huh. Interesting. Very interesting. Meet me where? Got it. And bring the lasagna? Weird, but okay. Ciao!"

Stanley blinked. "What was that about?"

Ace hung up and grabbed his coat. "We've got a lead. My informant wants to meet at an Italian restaurant downtown. Apparently, it's urgent. And he specifically requested lasagna."

Stanley stared. "That… doesn't sound suspicious at all."

Ace shrugged. "Hey, you don't question the lasagna, Odie. You just go with it—am I right, Milo? Milo just tilted his head as if he was trying to figure out what Ace was talking about. "See—he gets it. Now, come on! Adventure awaits!"

—

The restaurant, "Giovanni's," was dimly lit and smelled of garlic and marinara. Ace strutted in like he owned the place, with Stanley and Milo trailing behind him. They were led to a booth in the back, where a nervous-looking man in a trench coat was waiting. A steaming plate of lasagna sat untouched in front of him.

"Louie," Ace said, sliding into the booth. "Long time no see. Still dodging those parking tickets?"

"No. I get as many as I can. Cheaper than buying toilet paper," Louie scowled. "Now let's get down to business. I'm risking a lot by meeting you here, Ventura. You'd better make it worth my while."

Ace leaned forward, his expression suddenly serious. "We're looking for some shady characters who've been sniffing around a certain magical mask. Ring any bells?"

Louie glanced around nervously, then lowered his voice. "Yeah, I've heard whispers. There's a group—real dangerous types. They've been looking for that mask for weeks. Word is, they're planning something big."

"How big?" Ace asked.

Louie hesitated. "Super Bowl, big."

Ace tilted his head like Milo. "Do tell."

Well, let's just say, big enough to involve more than half the crime syndicates in the city. If they get their hands on that mask, it'll be chaos."

Stanley's stomach sank. "This is worse than I thought."

Ace nodded. "Thanks for the intel, Louie. You've been a peach. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to confiscate this lasagna. For… investigative purposes."

Louie groaned. "You're unbelievable."

"And yet, here I am," Ace said with a wink, grabbing the plate. "Come on, team. We've got a mask to find and a city to save. No time to pasta around!"

Just then, Ace spotted a woman sitting rather uncomfortably in the booth next to theirs. It looked as if she was having major contractions. "This woman is about to give birth," Ace announced. "But don't worry, I know what to do. I've done this before," he declared, hopping up onto the table, pushing all the food off onto the floor. He then leaped into the air and came down with an elbow-drop directly onto the pregnant woman's stomach. The baby flew out, landing directly in Stanley's arms, his hands filled with newborn goo.

"Wait… there's more!" Ace continued, performing one more elbow-drop. Suddenly, the placenta came flying out, smacking Stanley right in the face. Stanley couldn't even wipe it off because he would have had to drop the baby by doing so.

Ace grimaced. "Oops! My bad!" He apologized. "Don't worry folks. This scene will probably get deleted because it's too… 'PG13', he said, using air quotation marks.

As they left the restaurant, Stanley couldn't help but wonder how he'd ended up in the middle of this madness. Milo, however, seemed thrilled, wagging his tail as Ace led the way to their next adventure.

To be continued...