***Chapter 46***

**Aria's POV**

"What were you thinking going to meet that maniac?" my dad yelled, causing my head to throb.

I had smacked the back of my head against the floor when Jason tackled me and the doctor had suggested I try not to take any pain meds if I could manage. It would be bad for the baby, he said. Now I was wishing I had taken them already rather than trying to tough it out. My parents had been arguing in hushed tones during the whole ride home from the police station, while Mike and I sat calmly in the back seat, pretending we couldn't hear them. Now that we had gotten back to the house, and the cops had collected the evidence that they needed from my bedroom, those hushed tones had erupted into full force screams. I was amazed that the stationed officers outside hadn't even knocked on the door to make sure everything was okay.

Mike had retreated upstairs as soon as the front door had shut and I wanted nothing more than to follow his lead, maybe grabbing my icecream first. I stared longingly at the freezer where I knew my carton of chunky monkey was waiting for me. Tears formed in the corners of my eyes, today had been absolutely terrible and I just wanted it all to be over with. My dad must have noticed my inattention.

"Aria! Are you even listening to me?" he yelled, reaching out to touch me.

Maybe it was the volume. Or that I had been focused elsewhere. But I flinched back as soon as he made the first hint of a movement. I had been touched way too much today and I couldn't take it. This wasn't a small flinch back, it was a whole body shake as I stepped away from him, my eyes squeezing shut in preparation of the blow to come. I could feel my lungs freeze, not even daring to make the little sound of breathing. Be quiet. Let it pass. Hopefully the pain would go away and he would stop.

"Byron." My mom scolded him, reminding me that I wasn't alone anymore.

I opened my eyes and was back in the kitchen again, seeing my dad looking absolutely crushed that I had jerked away from him. His shoulders sagged and his whole face was pulled down, like gravity was too strong for him suddenly. I refused to make eye contact, it was too hard to see their hurt and confused expressions, instead I looked past both of them, keeping my gaze locked on the freezer. I could feel the weight of their silent communication in the air as they seemed to share a look of concern and frustration. There had to be a way out of this. An exit plan that I could follow. My mom decided to lead the initiative, I guess. "Aria, what made you lie to the police to go and meet him. We just got you back." Her voice was thick with emotion, stress and fear most of all.

I fixed my gaze on the freezer, it was safer to be silent and pretend this wasn't happening. I just needed to get through this and then I could curl up in bed, beneath the covers where it was warm and safe, and cry myself to sleep. They were posturing. Needing to have control. Needing me to be normal. I wished I was, wished I could be. But instead I just felt empty inside, rather than the guilt that I knew probably should have filled me from worrying them like that. The guilt was usually there until I had solved whatever problem was there. Drove me to be a fixer and take away their pain. But there was nothing. I needed today to be over, I needed to sleep and pretend that this nightmare wasn't real. I could feel my eyes filling with tears as I stood there, holding my muscles tight to hide the shaking that would sound too loud to my ears. They kept talking. Trying to get me to explain it. Snapping at one another as they did.

I silently walked over to the freezer, grabbing my ice cream, then grabbed a spoon from the drawer. They kept arguing, so wrapped up in their fight that they forgot momentarily that I was in the room. I didn't glance back after I left the room. Heading up to my room instead. I slipped into fluffy winter pajamas with a cardigan pulled around my shoulders before curling up with my comforter on the windowsill, hoping the sight of freedom would draw some emotion from within. The clothing was half habit, half attempt to rekindle some semblance of feeling. I could barely feel the cold tonight, I was so tired of feeling today I was just numb.

The shitty part about being numb though, was that at this point I could barely taste my ice cream. At some point I felt my face getting slightly stiff from tears drying on my cheeks and my eyes were undoubtedly swollen and red, but that was around the time I finished the small tub. I set the empty container on the floor near me, snuggling deeper into the blankets to fight off the numbness. It didn't help. I closed my eyes, trying to ignore the headache that was pulsing from the back of my skull. I wasn't even sure if it was worth it to get up and get the pain medication, it seemed so far away. More trouble than it was worth. Everything was more trouble than it was worth. With my eyes closed I could at least pretend that I didn't exist. There was so little to me right now anyway. It felt like a breath could wish the last remnants of a person away and leave nothing but the shell.

I don't know how long it was, but eventually there was a knock on my door and the sound of the door opening. Soft steps came into the room, pausing just inside the door. From the quiet I assumed it was my mom. I couldn't help thinking of the picture from the box, she deserved to know. Know the danger that they were all in.

"He was in your apartment, last night I think. Took a photo of you sleeping from the foot of your bed." I didn't look to see her reaction, but I heard her intake of breath. "There was another photo, of Mike out on his morning run. In the clothes that he wore this morning. And dad, walking out to his car on campus."

"Aria," she started, walking towards me. "You don't have to protect us."

Finally, I turned away from the window to look at her, her eyes were red from crying and she looked heartbroken, an expression that I recognized on her features too easily. She slowly approached me, so slowly that my chest ached at the care she was putting into this. Carefully, she settled into the seat next to me, her hands carefully placed on my knees through the comforter.

"I won't let him hurt any of you." I promised, knowing they had all already suffered too much.

"Aria." She tried again.

"You don't know what he's capable of." Voice even as I brushed off her attempts to convince me that I didn't need to meet him today.

"Then tell me."

I looked at her, knowing all the pain that she had been through over the years, all the pain that A had caused her. She didn't deserve this. But at the same time, I knew that if I said anything to her, told her about Charles, then Sarah would be the one to pay, and she didn't deserve that. I couldn't do that. She had suffered, alone down in that place for years. I don't even want to think about everything that Charles put her through. Her life had been a nightmare long enough, how could I make it continue?

"I can't." I closed my eyes, blocking her out, knowing that I was hurting her.

I heard her sigh, knowing that she was frustrated with my refusal to share anything about what happened when I was gone, or about what was going on now. She probably hated that the police knew more about what was happening to me than she did at the moment. We lapsed into silence, as she offered comfort by just being here. It felt nice to not be alone.

"Mom?" I questioned after the silence had stretched beyond a silence and was just the state of things.

"Yeah, Aria?" she responded, here and eager to help me in whatever I asked of her.

"Can you grab me a couple of my pain pills, my head is hurting." It wasn't enough.

She got up from the window seat and left the room for a few minutes, I closed my eyes again. I would take the pills and tomorrow would be a better day. She came back with a glass of water and a couple of my pain pills. I took them gratefully, wanting the throbbing in my head to go down, while the water felt cool down my throat. She leaned in, pressing a kiss to my forehead before stepping back.

"Good night, Aria."

Silence resumed after she left, closing the door gently behind her. She would undoubtedly tell my dad the little that I had shared with her. Hopefully, that would keep back the tide of questions for a while. I closed my eyes again, wanting this day to be over. Waiting for pain to recede and the tightness in my body to relax with the chemicals slipping into my blood. Soon it would work. Soon I could pretend that this wasn't me anymore. Eventually I slid into bed, leaving the lights on cause they were too much effort to walk across the room and turn off. My eyes closed and I waited for it all to go away.

***End Chapter***

Hey folks, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I want to give everyone a heads up, I've had a pretty solid runway of prepared chapters that is shrinking. I'm going to try and keep up the weekly cadence, but might have to change to posting every two weeks soon.