XIX: Animals
Feyd did not diminish my enjoyment. He was merely glad that I was eating food. It was a common enough complaint. His belief that I starved was so far off. My body was a fine weight. There was no training that needed more food than normal done by my body.
He watched me eat the rambutans. His eyes absorbed the motions as I ate.
"Could you not stare?" I asked him. "It makes me feel weird."
He shrugged but did not look away. "You are fascinating to watch."
My body tensed. It was a moment that ice should have coated me in protection. Detract me from the moment, the emotion that could come. Freeze my tongue before it said something revealing.
It did not summon.
"On the contrary, Feyd, I find you interesting to watch. Mostly when you sleep."
"Sleep? Sleep is the least interesting thing I can do."
He leaned forward. I moved similarly, touching my forehead to his.
"Eat one of those again," he said. "Slow. Look me in the eyes as you do."
His tongue ran along his bottom lip as I slipped the slick mango flesh through my lips. The juice coated my fingers. It trailed down my forearms. The fruit was so juicy that it slurped as it sucked between my mouth.
Feyd groaned. "I'd like to see you do that on me."
The guttural tone resonated inside me. I swam in the heat that awakened within my desires.
I licked and sucked the juices from my fingers. "Hm. Too bad you are needed today. It is a busy busy busy day."
In his good moods, Feyd had declared a party take place in the castle tonight. There were many preparations under way. He still had to tend to missions out in the desert, command his men and instruct his advisers on his plans before turning attention to the party planning.
His nobles had high expectations on parties. They had to be kept pleased since there was not an acceptance of total depravity as what acceptable in the Baron's court.
"I will burn for you," he said.
Though I did not say it back, I burned for him too.
The party planning committee was really his advisor board. They listened to Feyd's list of demands, and they plotted an attainable goal. Once it was mentioned that there should be a decorative theme, Feyd leaned back in his seat with a sigh. "Ask my lady." He waved his hand. "She has the taste for those things."
I blinked - it did not bring relief to the dryness - as the question was directed toward me.
When my vague answer did not satisfy the question, they suggested that I be brought to the back table to view the samples they had. The advisor led me to the table with the listed supplies.
Feyd remained at the standing table with the others to discuss some things. More than once, though, I felt his eyes on me as I worked. My skin knew its touch. It prickled and heated where it coursed my length, my cleavage, my face. I felt it often on my lips.
I did my best to focus on the design questions: colors, placement, entertainment, table decor, seating. the audience of Feyd's gaze on my motions distracted at times. I'd get flustered and be forced to rethink my thoughts before I gave a decision to the advisor and the steward of the castle.
My decisions were respected. They did not scowl or scoff at the choices.
The steward absorbed every word with unyielding eye contact. His head bobbed along as I went through a checklist, as written down on my information, and gave my opinions.
The advisor offered some thoughts every few minutes. It was helpful and thoughtful.
I'd never had a positive experience like that, ever. It felt good. So good.
Was this what it was to have power? Did Feyd want me to be like this, as the Empress he declared I would be? He wanted a woman in charge. He adored the sight of me absorbed in work, begging for an ounce of attention his way, while I assumed the position of power he placed me in.
I found allure in it. My body was hot and needy. It had been too long since I'd felt his tongue on me. Or his pulsating cock though me.
I needed Feyd. Now.
It was unstoppable. If I did not feel him inside me, I'd drag him back to my chambers and have a way with him anyway.
I managed to slip inside his office in the front of the room without drawing attention away from other preparations. It was a lonely silent space without his presence in it.
My eyes dropped to the desk.
Once, it was the Beast who sat behind that desk. He had not been gifted the charm it took to hold a lady. I stared at the virgin metal furniture with a thought that it had not been used for an ounce of pleasure. How sad.
The rest of this castle was a playground, but here. It was too desolate for a hope that it'd been used.
I swiped the desktop clean. The things clattered to the floor in a very loud commotion.
It would not take Feyd a second to come check.
Just as I thought, he entered the office in a storm of stomps and stopped short when he saw me hanging off the side of the desk with my skirts suggestively parted. The things crunched under his boot as he rushed for me.
A word did not need to be said. He read it in my eyes. He knew what I wanted.
His fingertips ghosted their touch down my throat.
"Na-Baron? Is everything alright?" A voice called from the other side of the door.
"Shut up!" Feyd ordered.
I breathed heavier. My body ignited.
"You've burned long enough," I murmured. My tongue savored the taste of desire on my tongue.
He brought his hands upward through the ridges of my windpipe, the softness under my chin and up to my lips. A thumb swirled against my bottom lip. It swelled under the pressure.
The savage touch inflamed my lips. My mouth became red and tender.
"Mmm. It is better this way."
The work before party preparation went late. Feyd had to jaunt out to his barracks to assess his men, train or reconnect with someone shortly before we were expected to make the grand entrance into the Great Hall. I, myself, was rushed to my chambers to be dressed with Vishti and her assistant, Nasira.
Aishti was in the chambers when we turned.
"Oh. I'm so sorry. The meetings took longer than expected." I grimaced in apology. "I hope you weren't waiting long."
"Out," Vishti instructed.
I put my arms out. They pulled the layers of my dress off me.
Aishti shook her head. "I knew na-Baron stayed the night. They notified me when you were finally alone."
Nasira put a wet cloth on my back. It washed the divots of my spine that Feyd's hands had scratched down that afternoon. There were times that it stung as the water rushed by.
He must have broken skin.
Nasira said nothing.
"Did you view the tapes?" Aishti asked.
I nodded. "I learned one of the dances. It took me some time to do that. I did not get a chance to view the others."
"Which one? Was it slow or fast?"
"Both," I said.
Aishti went through the moves of the dance, as I had memorized the night prior. She gave helpful guidance as I was undressed, washed, perfumed, adorned in a regal gown that was softer against my curves.
Vishti felt around my midsection and waist. They pinched the extra fabric.
"You expected me bigger in the middle and littler in the chest." I laughed.
The dress was custom made for me. It was crafted in Arrakeen. Not that long ago.
My dimensions had not changed that much.
"Tight in the bust?" Vishti asked. Their fingers then confirmed with a pinch.
"I feel like I'm being suffocated."
Then Aishti started speaking. Her words snapped quick from her tongue. Vishti then replied. It was in the local dialect.
The two went back and forth with haste. I was lost at trying to understand what they debated. The few phrases I knew were not a word shared.
I awkwardly stood. Nasira continued to dress me. She layered necklaces around my neck. There were thick chunky bangles slipped onto my wrists.
My ignorance was to the language but there was one that I was very skilled in, one that every person shared. Body language.
Aishti had her hands on her hips. Her brow was scrunched together. She seemed upset. The tone of her voice was loud and growing louder.
Vishti acted defensive. Or dismissive. They waved their hand, unbothered or minimizing.
Conversation about my dress sparked the whole thing. My mind tricked me with its whispers. It said the argument was about me.
"Have I done something?" I asked.
Vishti looked at Aishti, said nothing.
My feet swayed me in place. Nasira grumbled and stayed the motions with a taut grip on my hips.
"If it's about the dress, I can live with the tight chest. For the night. It won't be a problem."
Aishti bowed her head and relented. She turned away, hands still on her hips.
"Someone cannot measure," Vishti murmured softly. "They misread the numbers. Make it too small."
I sighed. "It's alright, Aishti. I don't mind."
The drama over the dress was unnecessary. I could handle the tight fit for a night. Then I realized that it took resources to craft the dress that were quite possibly wasted because of the error. Any resource wasted on this planet was a huge loss, a crime almost.
Aishti nodded their head. "Yes, my lady."
"I can donate it. So that it is not wasted," I offered. "Someone must need it more than I that fits these measurements."
Vishti assured me that it could be fixed, just not in time for Feyd's party.
My hair was knotted high atop my head, curled into a flower while some still hanged down at my shoulders. It eased the weight against the back of my neck, which in turn helped ease the heat. The breathable fabric of the dress was a blessing. It was crafted like the ones of the planet. It kept me cooler than the others, that were thicker or made with dense fabrics, like the Harkonnen's preferred.
Vishti knew how to care for me in a way I needed. They never missed a thing.
Feyd was delayed at the barracks. He only just arrived back when I stepped into the hall all prepared. His eyes flashed down my length, beholding the dress and the bulging cleavage.
I followed him inside his chambers. The attendants were inside awaiting his return.
While he slipped into the room to be dressed, I observed the other rooms of his chambers. The dining room, the sitting room, back to the dining room. Feyd was being dusted with thick white powder - for a reason I was still very unsure about. All I knew was that the Harkonnen's coated their pale skin with it - all of them.
My feet carried me into the attached office, that as far as I knew, was unused. Last I'd seen it a mess with drawers and papers strewn everywhere.
When I broached the office once more, I was surprised by the cleanliness. The papers were stacked neatly in piles on shelves. Books, too, were aligned with their spines out. Though smaller and less imposing than the other office, the desk was crafted in a dark thick style with small buttons hidden in the top just along the very edge, hidden in the surface in almost invisibility.
There was a book opened on the desk. I leaned over to view its title.
The Known Abilities of the Bene Gesserit.
My stomach clenched. The image of my being a witch was minuscule. Feyd had me behaving as a lady of his court rather than a trained witch. I had no knowledge of how they behaved, but as an heir's date to parties seemed a waste of their schooling.
I scanned the list - most of it was either witnessed or assumed. The details were murky.
One power baffled me. I even lifted the page closer to my face to ensure I'd read it correctly. Immunity to poison? It spoke of assassination attempts that were unsuccessful. Poison being their method.
I fell back into my chair. Not only could I not un-poison myself, I also realized that as a lady in my position, I might be poisoned.
The cost of Feyd-Rautha became steeper and steeper with every lingering moment of his favor upon me.
When I thought longer on it, I understood how much I wanted to be lost to the charms of his affections. I craved them. He loved me, of that I was now convinced. And I yearned for that taste so much - as I forced my mind honest about the emotions I felt - that I'd lost sense of reality. Just what I surrendered at the hands of the Harkonnen reign, and how Feyd had let me forget it. I seldom saw the faces anymore. The guilt lessened, too, as I laid in Feyd's arms or felt his kiss against my lips or prickled under the sensation of his eyes.
Arrakis was the cause. The freedom from the Baron and the harem and all the world devastation of that black and white planet made it all possible. But how long would it last?
If Feyd killed the Baron and returned to that castle, would it all be undone?
A sharp splinter of sorrow punctured my heart.
There was no going back. Not for me. The bonds that protected me those years were broken. They could not be repaired. I refused to succumb to the numbness again.
If there was a time that my spot as his only favorite wore thin, my original plans would resurface. I would not hesitate.
My life's water would spill into the desert sands that had revived me.
There was no back.
I walked out of the office as Feyd walked near it.
He was formally dressed in shiny black leather shoes - not boots! - trousers and a high buttoned suit coat that was swirled with silver stitching along the collar. He wore a flat black ring on his pinky finger. Another band of pure silver sat on his left hand. It was a new addition to his person.
His chin gestured at the door behind. "What were you doing?"
"Reading your book," I answered honestly.
Nothing was said, but he looked on. Suspiciously.
"I hope you realize there are no abilities in there that I can fake," I said. "If someone were to try to test me, I'd fail."
"Let them try to test you and see how far it gets them." He stepped closer and grabbed the side of my face. The touch of his breath brushed the tip of my nose. It lulled me. The moment his skin touched mine, I was greeted to serenity. It was the instinct of being met by an animal the same as me. Two beings of the same making. "They will be slain by my blade before the words leave their lips."
I licked my lips. My heart throttled inside my chest. "And the Baron?"
Fingers stiffened against my cheek. "What about him," he growled.
"What if it is him who demands I be tested? What then?"
"My answer remains the same, Mintha."
"You'd murder your uncle for me?"
"I'd burn the Imperium for you, sweetness. You are mine. Mine. My lady, my witch, my sweetness." His gentle lips teased the edges of mine. It tickled the smooth curves of my mouth.
Impatient, I pressed my lips into his. He eagerly greeted my kiss with just as much vigor. His tongue slipped inside my mouth as tantalizing and needy as ever.
The servants had learned by now not to interrupt Feyd and I. He gave them plenty of examples to recall when they thought to. So, they stood behind his back near the doors, silent and watching.
Although they did not speak, we both felt their presence. It dampened our desires. Perhaps, it irritated Feyd.
Either way, he grabbed my hand with his. Our fingers interlocked.
He pulled me toward the Great Hall. I chased after his long strides with great effort – thanks, tight bust. It was being tossed to Vishti the moment it could be removed. The night was young, and I was already out of breath.
Tingles tickled my belly. I gazed up at his pale neck, head, high cheekbones and sharp jawline with a burrowing want to see them in more intimate ways.
He caught my stare. The corners of his lips upturned.
"What are you thinking about?" He asked.
Fucking you. Making you mine. Being consumed by your pleasures until the sun burned up.
"The nickname you gave," I lied. "Sweetness. Why do you call me that?"
It made him chuckle.
My cheeks flushed. "Is it obvious? Do I smell sweet or something?"
"No." He shook his head. "Not smell."
"Look?"
"Not that either." He chuckled. The private joke with himself did not amuse me. I fought against my irrational humiliation to keep my face trained pleasant.
We were announced throughout the Great Hall. The names prompted him to move forward, I also walked forward into the open space of the main floor with the rumble of our introduction still vibrating in my ear.
Na-Baron Feyd-Rautha and Lady Mintha of House Harkonnen.
It gave an air of grandeur that did not match my status.
Feyd led the way to the dais. It was a usual arrival to a party in the Great Hall. The staff produced the glasses for Feyd and I. They were already filled when they slipped into our hands.
The room clapped and cheered. The noise consumed the entire castle.
We stood there in acceptance of their adoration. Awkwardly, as I felt, and comfortably as Feyd did.
He leaned over to whisper in my ear. "It is your taste that is sweet."
I looked at him in disbelief. My taste?
What taste. His tongue knew every part of my body. What did it find so sweet, my skin, perhaps my saliva?
The cheering lessened. We were seated upon the dais throne in our single, shared chair.
Feyd's mouth was just behind my ear to tease me with his words while my face was exposed for the entire whole of Carthag elite to see. I endured the torture. My face trained to keep respectable.
"The sweetest I've had."
Fingers ran through the ends of my hair. It sent a chilling sensation throughout my scalp.
The party began. People took their seats. Servants moved throughout the room, catering to the upper class while the others had to fetch their own drinks and food from the serving tables. Musicians started a melody that was light. It lacked a strong low tone that appeared often in Harkonnen music. Deep and throaty vocals, too, lacked. Still, it enjoyed the start of the night.
"I used to time my visits just right so that I did not miss it," Feyd murmured.
A sudden fire was sparked by his words.
Memories surged to my eyes. I had convinced myself it was coincidence. That it was on a schedule he had in the castle, with his training or studies that led him to my bedchamber whenever it came. The disappointment I had when he showed his torso after he finished. Painted by its hue.
The first time it happened, I'd been so stricken by the image that I never slept that night.
Feyd read the tension in my body. His two hands draped against my thighs as he held himself close to me. I still boasted as his trophy atop his thigh as he sat on his throne.
"I miss it. Its taste is a delicacy. Say. When will it come again?" He purred. "I yearn for your sweetness to coat my tongue."
My eyes blinked. The rising heat atop my cheeks struck harder through my calm. If I looked embarrassed, I'd become it. And no matter how hard I fought against it, it stung at me harder.
"Na-Baron flatters me," I managed to choke out.
Feyd titled his head. "You lie. Do you not like that I…enjoy your body?"
"Na-Baron."
His attention snapped away.
Some stood at the base of the dais. There was a man, woman and two younger women. They were Harkonnens, but not nobility I recognized.
"Mr. and Mrs. Bondar," the servant introduced. They bowed, then the Bondar's did, too.
Feyd struggled from the seat with me on his lap. We shuffled around so he was free of me. He stepped the few stairs down the dais to greet the nobles at his feet.
They spoke a short while. When it came to Feyd's turn, he turned back to me and extended his hand. I closed the short distance between us, rigid and uncertain, and was introduced to the noble family.
A father and mother with their two daughters, young and attractive. I examined them closely. Their eyes were big, almost cat-like. I yearned for the shape of their lips and nose.
They were not glad to meet me. Their faces feigned interest in the introduction.
There was subtle mention of how eligible the daughters were. They spoke of another lord's interest in one of them as a concubine for himself. I glanced at Feyd, uncertain I understood what I thought I did.
There was short conversation before the na-Baron grew disinterested.
"Enjoy the night," he told them.
I watched the family walk back to the tables meant for Harkonnen nobility. The daughters kept their eyes trained on their na-Baron.
"Were they offering up their daughters for your use?"
Feyd settled back in his seat. His two arms reached out and pulled me down to his lap. "Yes."
"Is that common?"
He chuckled. "It would be a wasted opportunity if they did not try. All those families out there prayed for daughters. Did everything they could to make it so."
Now that I observed it, there were many Harkonnen daughters amongst the noble families. They outnumbered the young men 4 to 1.
"For a shot at your throne," I said flatly.
"A shot of anything. Think what I could do for their family if one of them gave me a favored concubine. I'd give your family favor, titles, and wealth. Anything you'd want."
I shook my head. "I wouldn't ask for that."
"You wouldn't have to."
Who would knowingly allow their children into this twisted life, in this demented family? There was no honor in it. Appeasing monsters was a messy business. It ruined everything they touched. I, poisoned by it.
It would be a nightmare to have a daughter in this life. A fate, I'd never hope.
"Are you going to take one of them?" I asked, indifferent to the taste of jealousy at the tip of my tongue.
He narrowed his eyes.
"As I have said, my bed is empty when you are not in it," he grumbled. He ran his tongue along the edge of his glass. "My lady, you dishonor me."
"That was not my intent," I replied.
"I belong to no other."
"Good," I snipped. "Then I won't have to make the point myself."
A ripple of excitement moved through his body. I felt the slight throb of his cock at the back of my body. He pressed against my back with his chest. Plump moist lips pressed into my neck with a pleading want that could not be mistaken.
"Don't speak so rash. I could enjoy seeing you take your revenge. Let me lick up your wounds, sweetness. I've not had your blood in a while."
I turned my head to the side to cast a half glance down in his direction. "Spilling blood is your forte. My thoughts were along the lines of marking my territory."
A feral growl erupted from his throat.
"My body is a canvas."
He was far too easy to illicit into excitement. It was almost a weakness.
The drop of a hat, and he was ready to slip inside me without care who was there to witness it.
"Perhaps," I said as I turned back to the party below us. My legs crossed. The silken dress was ivory white. It contrasted Feyd's signature love of black or deep grey. "If you entice me, I might grant your wish."
It filled his eyes with a glassy glint. His mind remained trapped in a fantasy of question and thrill. Just what would I do to him? The idea plagued him.
There were times when he spoke with other men that he would lose track of thought, trail into silence, and forget to continue it. My eyes stayed on him as he spoke. Part of me suspected he got, well not nervous, but something dulled his cunning.
I sipped from my wine glass, amused. My tongue licked around the rim, savoring the sweetness.
The center of his mouth showed a bright red line in his pink tissue. His lips, too, painted the color of blood.
Blood, he probably enjoyed the look. He asked to taste mine. I had not realized he consumed the blood that splayed on his torso and cock when he finished with me.
The blood consumption was an act that I avoided at all costs. It was a haunting image to replay in the alone dark of night. I probably was happy to ignore what he did after my period splashed onto him.
Crimson against his pale ivory skin was an unavoidable vividness that sent my stomach rolled to the back of my throat.
The last time it happened, when had that been? It felt like an eon ago.
Feyd approached me with a very direct. His hand extended for me to take.
"Na-Baron?" I lowered my wine glass. A servant was there to catch it before I placed it to the table. My face flushed. I thanked them quietly before I faced him again.
He was closer when I turned back.
"A lord and lady are expected to have the honor of being first to dance in the night," he said.
I shot a slow breath from my lips. "I did not know Harkonnen's danced."
"I have learned the standard ones," he relayed, a short snip to his tone. "My skill does not compare to yours, but I'm a quick study."
My face blushed. "Skill. My luck was what made that so successful. Na-Baron, please, I do not know fancy royal dances that would honor a Great Hall like this."
"We will be equally matched then."
Again, I was faced with an inescapable display for the whole of the castle to mock under their breath. The only way to overcome the mess was to depend on my slight - paper-thin - knowledge of one dance. Aishti had not been able to cover it in its entirety though. I only remembered a couple of her tips.
"Can we dance to an Ingush beat?" I asked.
"Ingush," he repeated. "You know not how to dance, but you know of an Ingush beat?"
I nodded slowly. "Do you?"
"Yes," he replied.
He approached the musicians. The deep bass in the singers voice was very recognizable across the distance.
The music sounded exactly the same as it had on the cassette. One small comfort.
People fled the dance floor. It was empty for the first dance as done by the ruling lord and his partner. Me.
The Lady Harkonnen.
I forced my hands to my sides. They tingled slight as I awaited my entrance, after Feyd's introduction dance. We each had a separate entrance and lone dance.
He did not move like he was unskilled with the motions. I was impressed how nimble he moved through the choreography. There was nothing he did not know.
My part came. The dread filled my stomach. I could have vomited all over the floor with an excuse to flee.
Feyd asked this of me. I could not leave him stranded, alone, to impress these monsters.
As I looked through a crowded room of people who would eat our hearts out of rib cages given the chance, Feyd did not resemble the monsters that surrounded us now. He once was one of them. His menace and bones, the very same as them. I had written him off as one.
That monster was a facade. It was who he had to be to receive love, receive worth, be given a better hand than the others.
Human did not fit him. He lacked so many emotions that humans felt.
He'd been made into something between. Something like me. An animal.
We were given paths that did not better us, but with no other option except death, we became bittered and broken on the journey. Our bodies became prisons. Reminders of what we could not become. That we lost a crucial piece to return.
Animals. The pair of us, animals living in a world that made us this way.
My body was lighter than ever when saw him as my own match. The only other match in the Imperium.
The dance with him was another sensation altogether. He devoured my sight and never faltered in what was needed of him. I glided on air through motions my body recalled from memory.
There was an applause around us when our dance ended. Many of the Harkonnen's stood. Some whistled.
"We did it," I breathed in disbelief.
Feyd had done his part. I did mine.
Neither of us left the other to be alone on that floor for the monsters to swarm. It was the basis of everything. We would never be alone. The other would be right there to stand. And for once, I felt certain that I'd stand with him in the face of danger to spare him the injury of death alone.