Winter's Refuge

Chapter Two Hundred Twenty-Two

JED 'KID' CURRY

It was two more days until Aiden stopped givin' me the laudanum, although I think he gave me less and less each time. He knew if I wasn't sleepin', I'd be up walkin' and workin' and worryin'.

I opened my eyes and looked around. This wasn't me and Chrissy's room. I closed them again and opened them slowly. This is Rocky and Steven's room and Heyes is sittin', concentratin' on somethin' at the desk in the room.

"Hi, partner," I said, but my voice was so hoarse it came out as a strained whisper.

He turned in his chair and moved his readin' glasses to top of his head. "Welcome back to the world, Kid. How do you feel?"

I pulled myself to sit up and lean on the headboard of the bed. "Got a headache. I'll tell you more when I've eaten somethin'."

"Now I know you're feeling better. Thigh hurt?" he asked.

"Some. Itches and pulls so I know it's healin'. What are the boards on either side of my thigh for? How's the baby? And Chrissy?" I asked. Slowly, I tried to move to hang my legs over the side of the bed. "I need to go see them." I pulled at the cloth holdin' the board in place.

"Get back into that bed and don't touch that splint! Aiden says you're to stay in bed until he clears you to get up. He also said that if you had been off of it for a week when it first happened, it would have healed just fine," Heyes said, standin' and liftin' my sore leg, board and all, back into the bed. "I been worried about you, partner." I heard the worry and concern in his voice…and somethin' else - panic?

"Didn't have time to let it heal. Thought I was healed enough to travel," I answered, leanin' back on the pillows. I found a glass of water next to the bed and it tasted cool and fresh and soothin'.

"Well, you weren't healed enough, Kid," Heyes answered, turnin' away from me. "You have to take care of yourself. Don't you understand that we all depend on you…Chrissy, your EIGHT kids…and me. You're my rock. You saved my life. We all need you."

I could hear him holdin' back tears…and guilt for the worry I'd caused took over my thoughts. And then the other thoughts overwhelmed me...the ones that tell me I am worthless. I'd not been there for Chrissy and our new son. They had needed me and I wasn't here. They'd be better off without me.

HEYES

Panicking, I realized what the Kid was thinking. I recognize that look in his eyes - despair, hopelessness. That started when we lost our parents and he was too young to understand why. That's not what I was trying to tell him. Just the opposite.

"Kid, Jed," I started, putting a hand on each shoulder. "Talk to me."

His clear, blue eyes still have an innocence about them, even after all we have been through.

"Heyes," he said urgently. "Help me. The thoughts…feel like I'm sinkin'."

"Listen to me," I said firmly, looking straight into his eyes. "That's not what I said. You're needed here by every single one of us from Chrissy to Catherine, from Auntie to Rocky, from Vince to Ribs. ALL of us need you. Your family loves you. You've helped every single one of us and built Phoenix by your strength of will. LOOK AT ME!" I said louder as he tried to look away.

I was quiet for a moment. I could almost see his mind working. I watched him calming himself, centering himself. And then that broad Kid Curry grin that you can read about in the dime novels crossed his face. And we exchanged a look that said all is well.

"Lean back against the headboard and I'll bring you some food," I told him. He nodded. He did as I asked and then closed his eyes.

JED 'KID' CURRY

I smelled my food before I opened my eyes. Beef stew. Auntie makes the best beef stew, even better that Heyes' ma made…but I don't tell him that. Auntie worked with William Knight, one of the horse owners that brings his mares to Phoenix to breed. Slowly I opened my eyes to adjust to the bright light in the room. I expected Auntie to be carryin' it in, but it was Angie.

"So glad to hear you were awake, Jed. Hope you like my stew. I followed Auntie's recipe but wasn't sure what some of the spices were so it doesn't taste as good," she said. It sounded like she was apologizing. And I wondered why Auntie didn't make the stew but was too tired to ask.

"It smells wonderful," I told her as she put a tray across my lap and left.

I went to take a spoonful but my eyes were drawn to the doorway where Heyes was leadin' Chrissy, carryin' the baby, into the room. It was only then I noticed that a comfortable chair had been pulled near the far side of the bed. Chrissy gave me a lovin' smile so I knew all was forgiven for gettin' injured.

"Chrissy!" I greeted her.

"Chrissy darling," she answered, as she carefully kissed my cheek so the beef stew on my tray wouldn't spill. Then she gently turned our son to me so I could see his blissful sleep.

"He's beautiful," I told her. In truth, I've thought every one of me and Heyes' kids were beautiful from the moment they were born…and I still think so.

As she walked around my bed to sit in the chair on the other side of me, she chided, "Jed needs to eat his soup." I looked at her closely. She's been through a lot without me lately. And her eyes told me she needed me. I think takin' care of our son keeps her from hidin' inside herself. I need to help her.

Picking up my stew I started to eat. I didn't need to be told twice. The beef stew was good, but Angie was right. It would have been better with Auntie's spices.

"Name for son?" Chrissy asked. She's worried about the baby and I came home wounded so she's worried about me too. I know that women can get real sad after childbirth. Chrissy's fought this before. And now I'm home and here to help her.

Do you have a name in mind, darlin'?" I asked her between spoonfuls of stew. I hadn't realized how hungry I was. I could tell she was fightin' not to go within her mind. I should have been here. I should have been here.

"Jedediah?" she asked.

"No. Ain't fair to the boy to be carryin' the name of Jed Curry. It's not a name to be proud of, but I'm tryin' to change that," I answered.

"Good," said Chrissy. "Name taken. Read to you?" She laid the baby right next to me on the bed and opened Back Beauty. "The first place I can well remember was a large pleasant meadow with a pond of clear water in it," she started. She only reads that book when she's upset or inside her thoughts. I'm the reason she's upset.

"Can I finally meet my nephew? I haven't seen him since he was five or six years old!" An elderly man was in the doorway of the bedroom, stompin' his cane with each loud word he said.

Heyes had settled at the desk in the room and now stood and went over to the man. "Sir, Mr. McNamara, Miss Chrissy is reading to the Kid and their son. Perhaps you should come back later," Heyes told him.

McNamara? I was thinkin'. "My ma was a McNamara," I said out loud.

The man pushed by Heyes and came towards my bed. He studied me with every step he took. "Yes, your mother was a McNamara. She was my sister," he said, loudly. "You favor her."

Chrissy stopped readin' and sat silently, starin'.

I was tryin' to remember our trip to Philadelphia and the family we met. "Uncle Charles?" I asked. The man I remembered was probably in his early thirties. His wife was sweet and dotin' on me and they had two kids.

"Yes, I'm your Uncle Charles. You remembered me!" The man spoke loudly even in conversation. His hearing probably wasn't so good.

Nettie, Ruth Ann, the little twins, and Catherine all raced into the room and to the man…to my uncle. "Great Uncle, you promised we could show you the horses today. They are very, very beautiful," Diane Francis said oh so seriously that I had to smile. Her hair has grown in slower than our other kids and she is proud of every inch of sandy blonde hair. Today she has a pink bow pullin' it to the side.

"That's a very pretty bow, Diane Francis," I told her. She looked away from McNamara.

"Papa's awake!" she screamed. Heyes grabbed her before she climbed on the bed and spilled my stew.

Chrissy was too calm. She stopped readin' the book and grabbed our son and held him close to her. She stared at the door jamb for a moment and I was about to try and move and take her in my arms, but she blinked and looked at the kids. "Pa awake. DON'T climb on bed. Understand?" she told them and I could see she was strugglin' for each word.

"Yes," said a melodious group of kids' voices.

"Yes, ma'am," said McNamara. He looks at Chrissy like he's afraid of her. I'm sure there's a story behind that look.

Heyes handed me a letter. "Read this and it will start to explain things. Kids, now is not the time to show Great Uncle the horses. He needs to talk to your pa." His words were met by disappointed faces…all except for this new uncle of mine. He looked relieved not to see the horses.

Chrissy stood, huggin' the baby, and picked up her book. "Later we find name," she told me walkin' toward the door.

"Stay," I pleaded. I need to know she's alright. I need to be near her.

"All good. Later," she answered as she herded the kids out the door.

HEYES

Great Uncle Charles McNamara sat in the chair Chrissy had vacated and I pulled the hardback chair I had been sitting at over to the Kid's bed. We are in Rocky and Steven's room. I'm working on opening all the letters for the upcoming breeding season and figuring out the breeding calendar at their small desk. With the Kid traveling, I'd fallen behind. Chrissy usually helps me with this but she has other things on her mind right now. And I needed to be in here and watch over the Kid.

The Kid finished the letter. "You were right to send for my uncle, Heyes. Uncle, glad you decided to come here. How did you find your way here?"

I saw the anger growing on McNamara's face. I think he's like the Kid and has a very slow fuse to real anger…but that anger was about to explode now. I tried to diffuse it. "And we're glad you're here."

It looked to me like McNamara counted to five before answering. "I was not given the chance to decide if I wanted to come here or not. Your doctor came at me like a tornado and grabbed me out of my room in my pajama bottoms and forced me onto a train!" he declared very loudly.

The Kid looked at me confused.

"Aiden had received the telegram that Miss Denise was in labor and only had thirty minutes or so to catch the train. From what he told me, he had trouble thinking straight," I tried to explain.

"Your pajamas?" the Kid asked. I know that expression; he wants to laugh but didn't.

"Your Dr. Arden threw a few things in a travel bag. Father O'Brien helped him. Then the only words your doctor said to me was, "Let's go," and he pulled me into a waitin' buggy and then onto a train. He refused to listen to my protests or answer my questions." McNamara's words got louder with each sentence.

"Miss Denise had her baby? It wasn't due for a while when I left," the Kid said. He ignored the indignation in McNamara's voice for a moment.

"A healthy girl named Rachel Denise. But Miss Denise had a difficult time with it and Dr Crehan had a hard time that day. Miss Daisy had her baby at the same time…it's a boy, but I haven't heard his name yet. Both ladies had difficult deliveries at the same time Chrissy was delivering. Martha brought her brother into the world," I finished.

I watched the Kid take a deep breath. "My Martha is extraordinary," he said, then he turned to McNamara. "Uncle Charles, I apologize for how you got here, but what's done is done. I am very glad you've come to live with your family."

The Kid said the right thing, or maybe it was his smile that I realize now is his ma's smile because he took the steam out of McNamara's anger.

"They didn't even pack pants for me or my cane!" McNamara said, but there was less force in his eyes. "Not sure I'm going to stay, but it is nice to meet Keara's son and grandchildren."