Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon Sailor Stars: Chaos Theory

Act 48: Grasping for the Blue Sky

By: Sora Kazeno

Seiya looks up at the night sky. It was one of the few times he could be in this form, when he was alone and late at night. There is a large window in his room that provides a view of the sky. It just happens to be in the direction of Earth. He can't see Earth with the naked eye, it is too far away. He sighs. After all these years he hoped it would be easier but it wasn't. There are good days and bad days. He knows Taiki and Yaten think he is being ridiculous after all this time and he needs to move on.

But he can't just move on. He tried. It sounds simple, but impossible. He can never forget her. If given the chance, he would return to Earth in a heartbeat to see her just one more time. He didn't know what he would say to her. He hoped everything was going well with her boyfriend and she is happy. But also he hopes things ended between them despite how unlikely it would be. He couldn't picture anything that would cause them to break up. If he believed he had a chance he would be there.

She knows how he felt. He told her he was falling in love with her. What else could he possibly tell her? All the more reason he remains here, out the way.

He wishes he could have met her sooner; then he might have stood a chance. He smiles at the thought. How much sooner would he have to meet her? It was fun to think about even though it was impossible. It helped passed the time.

Once the planet is rebuilt he doesn't know what he will do to pass the time. Now that Sailor Galaxia is an ally once more, the galaxy is at peace. Just sit around here the rest of his days? It would be a good time to return to Earth but still would not be for a few more years.

So much could have happened during the past five years, not to mention the additional time needed to complete the reconstruction.

A small part of him is frustrated with himself. His feelings have not faded, if anything they are as strong as ever. He wishes he could move on but his heart won't allow it.

A knock on the door disrupts his thoughts. He sighs and reverts back to a female form. There was no way to explain these feelings to the others. They wouldn't understand. If they saw her in the male Seiya form it would lead to another outburst from them and she wanted to avoid it.

She opens to the door to find Sailor Star Destroyer in a silver fuku standing there. The sight of the Starlight reminds her of the additional training she is supposed to complete with her. Sailor Star Destroyer will one day become the leader of the in training Starlights.

"Sorry," Seiya apologies. "It's been a long day and I forgot there were some drills we have to complete. You've done well completing them during the day but night time is a lot different. Your eyes have to readjust after using the bright light from your powers."

Sailor Star Destroyer nods her head. "I'm here to learn. I'm determined to earn a black fuku." A black fuku means the senshi has completed their trading and are the new Starlights that serve Princess Kakyuu. It also means Sailor Star Fighter, Sailor Star Maker, and Sailor Star Healer can essentially retire from being senshi.

Time to rest. But what will she fill her time with? Every time she is left with the same dead end.

She takes a slow peaceful stroll through the gardens at Silver Millennium. Everything is how she remembered it. She pauses to examine a few of the flowers and smell their sweet scent. Their scent puts a smile on her face.

She looks up and sees Princess Serenity approaching her. She doesn't understand since she is Princess Serenity. Isn't she? She realizes she is wearing her old Juban High School uniform. She is actually Tsukino Usagi in this moment. Confusion sets in as she looks around. How is this possible?

"You should have known I wouldn't make it easy for you. Do you think I want you to become Sailor Cosmos again?" Princess Serenity glares at Usagi. "Why would I do that when Sailor Pluto worked so hard to restore time to what it should be?" She talks down to Usagi.

Usagi eyes widen and her jaw drops. "Did you sabotage trying to merge the crystal with the tiare?" She asks in disbelief. She couldn't believe the Princess would do that.

"Given the choice between Seiya and Prince Endymion, I will always choose my Prince." Her expression is firm. "You never left me much of a choice last time."

"But it almost worked combining the two last time."

"Almost," Princess Serenity agrees. "But a part of you will always choose Mamo-chan." Saying his name in that manner feels foreign to her tongue but she has to put it in a way Usagi can relate.

"So this is it?" Usagi asks. An all too familiar emotion surfaces and she feels betrayed by her other self. "You're going to ignore what I want for your own selfish reasons?"

"Am I really being the selfish one? If this is so important to you, why haven't you sought assistance from the others?" Princess Serenity waits for a response and receives none. "Is it because you are afraid of what the others will say or do? If you manage to get back to your time, does it really matter what they say and think? You will be leaving them here."

"But if I can't get back and I remain here, everyone would be hurt. I don't want to hurt them."

"Then don't go back!" Princess Serenity shouts at Usagi to emphasize her point.

"But Seiya…"

Princess Serenity cut her off. "You want to throw away everything for a boy you've known for a few years versus someone you have known for two lifetimes." She tries to reason with Usagi.

"Seiya has never done anything to hurt me. Mamo-chan has." Usagi knows she made this argument before to Princess Serenity but nothing has changed. The statement is still true. She knows the Princess will not budge, it is a losing battle. "I also want to protect everyone. I was able to do that in my timeline by eliminating the Black Moon."

"And you will defeat them in this timeline."

Usagi sighs. "It's not the same. I stopped them before they re-awakened and endangered the entire planet. I can protect everyone as Sailor Cosmos in ways I can't as Sailor Moon."

Usagi thinks of the dream/conversation she had with Princess Serenity this morning. She opens the star locket on the dresser out of habit to listen to the melody. She listened to this song for years. For some reason, today the melody seems sad and slow paced. The music has not changed over the years, only her feelings.

She knows she can eventually adjust to this timeline but there will always be sadness until the memories of her past life fade. But she doesn't want to forget regardless of how painful it might feel.

The music stops. She has to wind up the crank on the back in order for it to continue to play music. She cranks the key on the back until it turns no more. She traces her fingers around the latch she would need to open to have the locket continue to play. Instead of opening the lid to continue the music, she places the star locket back on the dresser. It didn't feel right.

She sits down on the bed behind her. She sleeps here with Mamoru every night. She is finally beginning to relax a little and even fell asleep a few times sleeping on his chest. She feels safe when she is with him.

But she also felt safe with Seiya. She never goes a day without thinking about him. When they fought against Galaxia, Seiya put her safety first and did everything possible to protect her. If she asked him, she was pretty sure he would have stayed on Earth the first time. Instead of asking him to stay the second time, she followed him to Kinmoku. Then Princess Kakyuu had the Starlights remain on Earth to help Sailor Cosmos. Or so the Princess told them. She made it easier for Seiya to remain on Earth with her. Based on everything she knew about Kinmoku, the Starlights would be retiring from active duty and the new Starlights would take their place. Princess Kakyuu made the transition easier for them. She is thankful for the Princess' help to keep the Three Lights on Earth. She knows Seiya would struggle more if he did not have Taiki and Yaten.

Usagi stretches and tries to think of something else she can do. Anything she can do. She wants to try to merge the two again but Princess Serenity will do everything she can stop her. She hit another wall. A wall she has no way to go around and wants to break through but cannot.

She is thankful Mamoru has been patient. He has been giving a lot of space. She is gradually finding it a little easier to talk to him and spend time with him but she feels guilty as if she is leading him on. For a future they might not have. He is expecting to be with her forever. They have marriage vows, are husband and wife. She feels horrible for what she is doing but her heart won't let her give up just yet.

Each day her memories are becoming foggy. She knows she went to Kinmoku to train but she has little memory of the trainings. She became sick on Kinmoku but didn't remember why. She knows it is dangerous for her to go there but cannot recall why. She knows no one would harm her but why was it deadly?

She knows she doesn't have much time before more of her memories disappear. Will her feelings for Seiya disappear when the memories do? She has no way to know and is afraid of the answer. Was not remembering or knowing what she is missing out on the only way to be happy in this timeline?

"What did you want to do tonight?" Mamoru asks with wife. He wants to try to get her out of the apartment since she seems to be cutting herself off from everything and isolating. Very unlike her. "I was thinking we can go out for a little bit. Maybe see a movie, or did you want to visit anyone?"

Usagi glumly thinks she would like to visit Seiya but does not tell this to Mamoru. She is trying to move past the feelings of hopelessness but it is proving to be more difficult than she imagined. Why can't she just be happy? "We can head out. I'm just not sure what to do or where to go. Are there any festivals?"

"Let me check." Mamoru reaches for a newspaper to search for local events. "There should be some related to O-bon." He scans the newspaper and finds an announcement. "Koenji Awa Odori starts today."

Usagi ponders the suggestion. There would be a parade, dancers, music, and games. Tomorrow was the concert with Minako and Rei. Maybe a night out is just what she needs; something to take her mind off of everything. "Sure. Let's do that. Let me change and get ready."

Fifteen minutes later, Usagi is ready to leave. "Do you know where it is? I'm not sure."

"Sure." He is surprised by her statement since they attended last year. He dismisses the thought she hasn't been herself for the past few weeks and hopes this will cheer her up. He locks the door behind them and leads them to the elevator. They wait silently for the elevator to reach their floor.

"Snacks are usually the best part of the festivals," Usagi suddenly says. "So many tasty things that you can only find at this time of the year." She smiles.

Mamoru chuckles. "I knew that would perk you up. Just try not to eat all of it." He teases her lightly. Then he remembered the conversation he had with Motoki. "But I want you to have fun Usa. I'm worried about you."

"I'll be fine Mamo-chan. I just have to get used to the idea that I don't always know what is coming." She continues to play on the concept of worrying about the Black Moon when in reality she wasn't that concerned. She already knew what they look like, their plan, and how to defeat them. Minus the part that she didn't have her powers as Sailor Cosmos. She imagines their plan would be similar. Try to take over Tokyo. The battles would be rougher without the other senshi having their Eternal powers and the Starlights wouldn't be present. The Starlights… the Black Moon killed Sailor Star Fighter for a moment. Would the same happen to the senshi here? No… if anything the Black Moon would target Mamoru more once they know he is important to her. But Mamoru can't protect himself like Seiya can. The difference between their powers is great. Mamoru doesn't have the Golden Crystal. He might never find it in this lifetime without the help of Sailor Earth.

They make small talk until they arrive at the festival. Usagi giggles at some of the costumes and the random dancing to the music. It is no wonder it is referred to as the Fool's Dance. Some of the residents follow the traditional dance, usually the elder residents. She makes a note to come here again, when she could really enjoy herself with the others.

A familiar scent in the air catches her attention. She smiles. "I want to eat that…" Her mouth practically waters at the scent of grilled chicken in a teriyaki sauce, yakitori.

"I smell it too but I don't know where it is…." Mamoru searches the names of the different booths nearby.

Usagi smiles at Mamoru. She is full of food and even decided to partake in some of the dancing. She was glad Mamoru convinced her to come out. For those few short hours she didn't have any cares in the world. She was thankful for the opportunity to just relax with Mamoru.

Mamoru greatly enjoyed the night. For the first time in nearly a month, he saw the Usagi he missed. It was like she was whole and all of her troubles for that brief moment in time where no longer an issue. Now he just needs to figure out how she can remain this happy. He waits until they return to the apartment to talk. He didn't want to have this conversation in a public setting, something so personal.

"I'm glad you had fun tonight Usa. It's like you were your normal self. I've missed seeing this side of you." He says drawing her into a tight hug, his cheek resting near her forehead. "It almost feels like I've been with a stranger for this past month." He hugs her even tighter. "It's like I have my wife back."

Usagi feels guilty for the way she has treated Mamoru for the past month but her heart was just not in it, yet. She knows she should be acting happily married to him but… too much has happened she can't just ignore. There has to be a way, something she can do to try to bridge the gap. "I've been here the whole time Mamo-chan."

"Physically yes," Mamoru agrees, "But mentally you seem like you have been a million miles away. I want to bring you back and do anything I can to help you but it seems like what I have done has been unsuccessful until tonight. I just want to help you move forward."

Before Usagi realizes it, a few tears escape her eyes.

Mamoru feels the moisture on his shirt. "Usa?" He pulls away enough to see her face to determine if she was crying. He sees the tears slowly trickle down her cheeks. He gently wipes them away with his thumb. He doesn't understand why she is crying but he hates to see her like this.

"I'm sorry," she tries to apologize.

"There's no need to apologize Usa."

"I want to be happy but… I just can't… it's… I don't know…" she attempts to explain as her voice wavers. She can't hold it back anymore and begins sobbing loudly into his shirt. Once the tears begin to fall, they can't stop. She lets out all of the built up frustration.

Mamoru hugs her tightly. "It's going to be okay Usa. No matter what you are going through we can figure this out together." He tries to reassure her but he is clueless what else he can do to put her at ease so he holds her closely.

Usagi looks around the Tokyo Dome, amazed at the crowd. It is a sold out event. She spent several weeks listening to songs performed by the artist to prepare for the concert.

Day by day, she found herself gradually adjusting to this new time period. She still thought about Seiya and being Sailor Cosmos but the gaps of not thinking about that time are starting to increase. She wonders if her memories are beginning to adjust. She could remember fewer details of the last battle against Chaos and the first time she traveled to Kinmoku. A part of her knows she should be more alarmed yet a small part of her is relieved. As the memories gradually fade, it is also becoming easier to be with Mamoru.

"I hope I have the opportunity to perform in front of a crowd like this in the future," Minako comments as she sits down with Rei and Usagi. "But she became a huge success over night."

"It also helps when you have famous parents," Rei adds.

"That's true…" Minako agrees. "It's not like we can advertise what we are famous for." She laughs lightly as she pictures herself on stage performing as Sailor Venus.

"But it's not fun all the time. I'm sure she has to dodge fans and the reporters all the time. Right now you can walk down a busy street and no one knows who you are." Usagi points out. She remembered several occasions where she and Seiya had to run from a photographer that followed them and wanted to take their picture and ask questions.

"That's true. I remember fans always annoyed Yaten-kun." Minako checks her watch and realizes the concert is about to start. She snuck a quick glance at Usagi and she didn't see fazed by the mention of the Three Lights.

Two hours later, the concert ends and the girls patiently wait their turn to exit the concert venue. Usagi's mind wanders to all the concerts she attended with Rei in America. It seemed like a lifetime ago to her. In a way, it was lifetime ago. She enjoyed the concert; however, it brought back a lot of memories of her life right before her powers were taken by Setsuna. She is quiet at the end of the concert.

"Usagi, did you enjoy the show?" Rei asks, noticing Usagi was silent for the past ten minutes. She waits a few minutes but does not receive a response from Usagi. "Usagi?" She repeats, louder this time.

"Oh?" Usagi realizes Rei was talking to her. "Sorry I was thinking of one of the songs that was performed."

"Which one?" Rei is curious to hear her response.

"Sakura Drops."

"I liked that one too… it sums up part of my heartbreak in England," Minako comments.

Rei does not say anything and wonders why Usagi is drawn to a song that discusses heartbreak. Isn't her relationship with Mamoru stable? Many years ago she could understand if it was during the time when Mamoru broke up with Usagi based on dreams he received from his future self. The next time she was alone with Usagi she would ask about. The heartbreak couldn't refer to Seiya, could it? No, she dismisses the thought but then recalls the conversations she had with Usagi the previous month.

"I'm glad we were able to meet for a little while. I know your schedule is filling up." Rei greets Minako at a café.

"I can always make time for friends," Minako remarks with a smile and a wink. "You sounded very serious on the phone. Is everything alright?"

"I'm worried about Usagi. She's been off for the past month."

"When I went shopping with Usagi-chan she didn't seem to be herself either. Usagi-chan forgot we made plans to go shopping. While she was getting ready, Mamoru-san told me she hasn't been herself lately. She gave me this excuse about being worried about the future." Minako paused for a moment. "Part of it might be true but I think it's more to it than that."

"I know what you mean. She has said things about events that didn't happen… or the time frame is wrong. It's like she is taking about things just happened but there were so long ago." Rei frowns. "Something else is going on but I don't know how to confront Usagi on it."

Minako blinks a few times surprised by Rei comments. "So she's still the same. I didn't want to say anything to her. Her behavior at the concert really has me worried. Why would she think of the time Mamoru-san broke up with her and relate to a song the most about heartache?"

"Do you remember the day when we found Usagi crying in the rain on the rooftop of the school with Seiya-kun?" Rei lowers her voice.

"I don't think any of us will forget that. When Seiya-kun asked Usagi-chan if he was good enough." Minako sighs. "…what would have happened if we didn't show up at that moment?"

"I remember talking to Usagi later that night. It really did seem like she would waver. She finally admitted she was never able to speak with Mamoru-san since he went to college. When Usagi told Seiya-kun she won't forget him either because they were friends, I thought that was the end of it."

She stares at her drink for another moment. "Usagi-chan and I were talking about being an idol and she brought up the Three Lights. I can't explain it but it's like something else happened in the past month and my gut tells me it somehow involves the Starlights. I mean… they're not back or anything, right?" Minako lowers her voice.

Rei shakes her head no in response.

"I don't understand what changed in the past month," Minako taps her fingers against her chin. "They just got married a few months ago and I never seen her so happy before…. But then suddenly…"

"I think it all started when she fell at the shrine. I asked her if she was okay and she asked me about the Three Lights. She seemed surprised to learn that we hadn't seen them in years." Rei thinks back and tries to recall the other details of the day if she is missing something.

"I just don't understand what would suddenly make her miss them now?" Minako shrugs her shoulders. "I know their music is still played at times. They were number one on the charts for a while. If they were here I would love some advice on how to improve my career." Minako laughs at the end. "They made it look kinda easy. I guess they were naturals at it."

"I'm not sure what we can do." Rei sighs and lowers her eyes. "I've asked the Great Fire but it hasn't offered any guidance, just more questions."

"So we're kind of stuck." Minako looks at Rei. "I don't know how to help her. It's just the timing of all it that bugs me. If it was after he just left… I could understand that more but it's been years and she just got married." Minako pauses to look at Rei with a horrified expression. "You don't think… she regrets getting married do you?"

"Regret the future she always wanted? No." Rei answers immediately and then falls silent. She swallows a lump in her throat as another thought enters her mind. What if Usagi didn't want the future that was planned out for her? Rei immediately dismisses the thought. It's ludicrous. It is all they have talked about since they fought the Black Moon.

Rei places tea in front of Usagi. She invited Usagi over a few days after the concert to address some of her concerts. "Usagi, I've been thinking about that song from the Utada-san concert, Sakura Drops."

"It's really catchy isn't it? I really like the music and the beat. I was listening to it yesterday." Usagi blows on her tea lightly to cool it to avoid burning her tongue. She takes a few sips.

Rei waits for Usagi to put her tea cup down before she addresses Usagi. "I'm worried about you Usagi."

"Eh? Worried about what?" Usagi has the express of a deer caught in headlights. "I'm fine Rei-chan." Usagi tries to reassure her. She wasn't sure how many times she would have to keep repeating this phrase to Rei, Mamoru, Luna, and anyone else that asks her.

"There is something that you are hiding Usagi. What is it? My gut tells me you keep saying you're alright but something is off."

Usagi sighs. "I'm tired of everyone asking me if I'm okay. Yes I've been through a lot over the past few years but it's going to be okay." She tries to downplay any concerns Rei has. "The song the other day reminded me of years ago when Mamo-chan broke up with me. It was a really difficult time in my life. It also made me think of Chibi Usa." She takes a few sips from her tea. "It's not always easy for me to think of her."

"Why not?"

"Because she-". She stops herself just in time before she finishes her sentence. She couldn't tell her Chibi Usa doesn't exist anymore. She will exist in this timeline. "I guess it's just weird to think that I will actually be a mother. When Chibi Usa was here before I could always brush it off and say she was from the future, a long time in the future."

"But if you don't talk to anyone about your problems they will only become worse," Rei argues. "You can't bottle everything up inside like you did when Mamoru-san when to college and you didn't hear from him in months. I know you don't want others to worry about you but when you don't tell us, we worry and think something is wrong."

"I understand what you're saying but sometimes it is still hard for me to talk about it." Usagi drinks a few more sips of tea before she continues. "My life has been planned out for me already. I already know several of the key events. Yours… in a way is a mystery. You know a few things but a lot of it is unknown."

"Cut it out Usagi. You keep trying to change the focus so we talk about something else. I've seen things in the Great Fire that don't add up. More senshi standing behind you that I have never seen. I've seen a new senshi standing next to King Endymion. The strangest one is a senshi standing behind you with heart shaped odangos; one that I have never seen before. I've racked my brain and thought it might be another version of Chibi Chibi." Rei's voice gradually becomes louder.

"You've completed fire readings and haven't told us about them? What do they mean?" Usagi asks, jumping to her feet. "It makes me wonder what you've been hiding from us." Usagi turns the tables on Rei.

Rei stands up and glares at Usagi. "I can't keep anything from you if I don't know what it means. I'm asking you so I can try to understand it. You haven't been the same since that day at the shrine when Mamoru-san came to pick you up."

"I don't know what it means. I didn't see the vision." Usagi's voice lowers. Yelling at Rei in this situation wouldn't help. During the past month, her anger has flared up more and more. Even though she was adjusting to this time, she was still filled with anger at Setsuna without a way of channeling that anger at anyone or even being able to vent about what happened. She tried to talk to Luna but it didn't work. Usagi sits back down on the cushion.

"Usagi…. I can't help but feel based on your recent comments; this has something to do with you missing the Three Lights or rather Seiya-kun." Rei knew she has to push the issue otherwise Usagi would never bring it up herself.

"That's…. ridiculous Rei-chan…" Usagi tries to sound full of confidence but it waivers at the end. She knows how ridiculous she sounds. Rei is seeing right through her. Rei knew everything that happened between her and Seiya during his first and only visit to Earth.

Rei lets out a deep breath. "So it is true." Rei takes a few sips from her tea not sure what to do next. "But you have Mamoru-san… I just don't understand what brought this on." She freezes for a moment as she considers something. "Usagi, they're not back on Earth are they? When is the last time you've seen them?"

"You know I haven't seen them recently. You guys would know if they were back. It would be all over the news too." Usagi tries to answer the statement as honesty as she could. She wouldn't consider a month recently; actually longer than that, since the Three Lights and Minako continued on to South America to continue the tour.

"I can't help but believe that Sakura Drops reminded you of someone else." Rei doesn't wait for Usagi to tell her she wrong. "That sound about heartbreak made you think of Seiya-kun." Rei watches Usagi closely for a sign or acknowledgement her statement was correct.

Usagi visibly stiffens at Rei's last sentence and tries to deny it. "I… I don't know what you are talking about Rei-chan." She is visibility shaking and trying to deny her feelings for Seiya but she can't. She had been through too much with him. Events that none of the others had seen or knew about, Chaos, Kinmoku, Black Moon, and the concert tour. He had been her rock through it all, her heart. And he was ripped away from her by Setsuna.

Rei narrows her eyes. "And what about your husband? You just marred Mamoru-san? Don't you love him? What about Chibi Usa-chan and Crystal Tokyo?"

Usagi lets out a sigh. The same reasons always came up why she should stay with Mamoru. For the future. "Rei-chan, are you saying I have to be with Mamo-chan because of Chibi Usa and Crystal Tokyo or I should be with him because I want to be with him?"

Rei feels her heart nearly skip a beat. Usagi has never spoken like this before. "But don't you want to be with Mamoru-san? Your future is with Mamoru-san, we've all seen our destinies."

"But just because we saw it, does that mean we have to follow it? Shouldn't we be allowed to choose our own destiny?" Usagi finishes her tea and stands up. "Thanks for the tea Rei-chan. Everything will work out fine. You're worried about Seiya…. But he's not even on Earth is he? You don't have anything to worry about." Usagi stands up and leaves the shrine.

She walks quickly back to the apartment. Her tears blend in with the rain. She realizes her time is limited. Rei calling out her behavior is making it impossible for her to try to blend in. She needs to find a way back to her timeline or accept this one. She needs to find a way to better control her feelings around the others. She is starting to understand how it is causing a problem for everyone else.

But can she really just ignore how she feels about Seiya that easily around the others, especially when someone asks her direct questions? She wishes things could go back to being simple. Things were less… chaotic in her timeline. She had everything figured out. She checks the time on her watch. Mamoru will be home soon. She needs to try to act like her old carefree self.

She freezes when another thought occurs to her. What if Rei talks to Mamoru? It wouldn't be first time Rei spoke to him when she was concerned about Usagi. She collapses onto the couch when she returns to her apartment, her eyes wide. She couldn't go through it again, explaining to Mamoru how she felt about Seiya.

Her fists clench tightly. And if she cannot return to her previous timeline, she would end up ruining any chance of happiness she would have with Mamoru once her old memories are gone.

A clap of thunder snaps her attention to the weather outside. It was barely raining a few minutes ago, now it was a down pour. Dark storm clouds have gathered. A quick glance at the clock tells her Mamoru should be returning in less than ten minutes. He is walking in this rain somewhere. There is nothing she can do but wait for his return. She flips on the television for an update on the weather.

"A powerful storm is making its way into Tokyo." The broadcaster announces. "It is recommended no one heads out. Depending on the track of the storm it could be here for several days. I hope everyone stocked up! Officials state it is too early to call it a typhoon. We will be monitoring this storm very closely. Please stay safe everyone."

Usagi returns to look out the balcony glass door. The rain seems to be the same but the wind is picking up. She watches the storm for a few minutes.

Fifteen minutes later Mamoru returns home, drenching and carrying a soggy pizza box for dinner. He places the pizza box on the floor next to him to remove his shoes.

"What can I help you with?" Usagi asks. She pauses to stare at him wide eyed.

The polo shirt he is wearing sticks to him like a second skin now that it's drenched. "It's really raining out there. I'm glad I'm already scheduled off a few days." He turns around to look at the pizza box. "Can you bring the pizza into the kitchen and pull it out of the box? I'm hoping it's not too soggy." He looks down at his clothing. "I'm sure it fared better than me though. I'm going to change."

Usagi waits for Mamoru to pass by before she grabs the pizza. She pulls it out and wrinkles her nose. She pulls out plates and begins to pile the pizza on the plates to prevent it from getting any worse. She pulls out cups but then realizes she doesn't know what Mamoru wants to drink. She walks over the bedroom and enters since the door is wide open. "Mamo-chan, what did you want to drink…" Her voice trails off when she sees him shirtless. She can't help but find herself blush.

Mamoru turns to face her, a clean shirt in his hands. "Usa, you're blushing." He smiles at her for a moment before he adds, "you know you've seen me in a lot less."

Usagi's eyes widen at his statement. She wants to deny it but then remembers it is true. Even in her timeline, they had some… moments. She stops herself from going any further down that train of thought. She tries to swallow the lump in her throat as she tries to find her voice. "I, ah, wanted to know what I can get you to drink… with the pizza…" She fumbles with her words trying not to look at Mamoru.

Mamoru notices Usagi's uncomfortableness and puts a shirt on. "Sorry Usa. I didn't realize it still makes you uncomfortable." He walks past her, "I'll get the drink."

Usa stares at the floor. She is not used to seeing Mamoru in that state and her reaction only frustrated him. Why can't she visibly control her emotions more? She spins around and walks back to the kitchen.

Mamoru has his back facing her as he reaches for a glass in the cupboard. Without saying anything, she hugs his back. She stands there for a moment without saying anything. "I'm sorry Mamo-chan, I haven't been myself."

He turns around to face her, pulling her arms around her tighter after he readjusts. "I know you are struggling Usa, I just want to know what I can do to help you."

"I'm not sure how to stop feeling this way." The lump in her throat will not disappear. Everything she is telling him is true, but she knows the context of what she means is different from how he will interpret it. She feels guilty but she would feel even worse if she told him what was really on her mind.

Before anything else can be said, a loud rumble in the sky is overheard, drowning out all other sounds. A bright flash illuminates the entire apartment. Usagi can't help but jump.

Mamoru hugs her tightly. "It sounds like it is getting pretty bad out there." He rubs her back lightly. "Everything will be fine Usa." He tries to reassure her. "We've had bad storms like this before and everything was fine." He glances at all the pizza on the plates. "Besides, I think we should do something about all that pizza over there before it gets cold."

Usagi turns her head to look at the food and can feel her mouth watering. "Pizza." She murmurs, ignoring the storm thunderstorm passing nearby, a preview of what is to come.

Setsuna narrows her eyes at the approaching storm. Something about it makes her feel uneasy. She tries to ignore the thought and reminds herself that it is normal to have storms such as this at this time of the year. Rain will flood the city and then everything thing will return to normal.

A return to normal? How much longer will it take until the Princess finally accepts this timeline? Are her memories from the other timeline completely gone since she hasn't heard from Mamoru or Usagi? She wishes the process would speed up but she dares not try to change the flow of time again.

The plan took a long time to form and calculate. Her patience will be rewarded when she see the Princess happy with her Prince.

A flash of lighting disrupts her thoughts again. Her eyes narrow. Something feels off with this storm. Is the storm related to the changes within the timeline? Are the two timelines permanently merging? No. Her instincts tell her this is something different.

She wishes she could speak to Yui at a time like this, but Yui is once again enclosed in the crystal for who knows how long. She is amazed at Sailor Charon's strength, willing to make such a sacrifice to reset time. Setsuna underestimated how lonely it would be without her.

Usagi is brushing her hair later that evening and stops midway when she listens to one of the saddest songs she has ever heard on the radio coming from the spare bedroom where Mamoru is working at a desk.

Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain

If I see you next to never
How can we say forever

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted, all the times
That I thought would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now

Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me going crazy

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I wonder how we can survive
This romance
But in the end if I'm with you
I'll take the chance

Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me going crazy

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
Waiting for you*

By the time the song has ended, she can't stop crying. Every song she hears seems to fill her with sadness. These feelings will only end when one of two things happen, she completely forgets all of her past memories of her timeline, or she is able to return to the correct time.

She sits down on the edge of the bathroom tub with her eyes closed. She has to try again later. But how? Mamoru will notice the light. She stands up and returns to the mirror to continue brushing her hair. She tries to find a way but realizes it is impossible as long as Mamoru is in the apartment.

As if on que, Mamoru knocks on the bathroom door. "I need to run out for a minute Usa. We need curry if we're going to make curry. I'm going the store at the end of the block."

"But it's still raining a lot," Usagi hears herself say immediately.

"It has lightened up at the moment and it will be quick. It will be fine." He reassures her. "I'll be back before you know it."

"Make sure to grab an umbrella." Usagi absent mindedly clutches her neckline where her crystal pendant should be.

Rei lets out a small sigh of relief when Minako finally answers the phone. "I was worried you were out in this storm and I wouldn't be able to reach you."

"It has been a couple of crazy days," Minako responds sounding near exhaustion.

"Minako-chan, I confronted Usagi the other day."

"Why did you do that? I thought you weren't going to Rei-chan."

"I couldn't wait anymore. I'm glad I spoke to her. It's worse than I thought."

Minako is quiet on the other end of the phone while she digests this information. "Rei-chan you're worrying me."

"Usagi is missing Seiya-kun but it is different this time somehow." Rei tries to recall Usagi's words. "When I asked her about the future and knowing what the future will be, she made remarks along the line of, just because we know the future doesn't mean we have to follow it."

Minako gasps loudly, her heart skipping a beat. "I've never heard Usagi-chan ever question if she should be with Mamoru-san." Her voice is shaky. "What are we going to do?"

"I'm trying to figure out if there is something we can do or tell her to make her understand what she is doing is wrong."

"She is going to resist you more Rei-chan. We think it's wrong but if Usagi-chan doesn't realize that herself we're going to push her away and maybe lose her."

Rei does not respond for a minute, absorbing Minako's words of wisdom. "I understand what you are saving but if we don't do something, Usagi might do something horrible."

"How? Seiya-kun isn't even here."

"So we wait for her to work this out?"

"We might have to." Minako tries not to yawn again. "I agree; I feel like we should do something but anything will put Usagi-chan on the defensive. She might be less willing to talk to us."

"I find it hard to just sit back and do nothing." Rei makes a note to have a few more readings in front of the Great Fire for further guidance and to receive clarification of who all of the new people are she witnessed.

Usagi glares at the Ginzuishou in her hands. Why has it resisted all of her attempts to merge? Just like before it became red hot forcing her to drop it like she has during her previous attempts. This time she tried to merge the two as Tsukino Usagi. There was about the same level of resistance this time as before. She closes her eyes.

"So that's it. I can feel you giving up Odango."

She looks up to see Seiya in front of her, nearly dropping the Ginzuishou. "Seiya…" A few tears trickle down her cheeks. She wants to get up and embrace him but she knows he is not really there. "I keep trying but nothing is working."

"The Odango I know would never give up just because it is difficult. Where is the fight to never give up?"

"I'm alone here. It is easier to keep fighting when I have everyone around me. No else other than Setsuna-san knows what really happened." Usagi realizes she is providing an excuse.

"You're stronger than this." Seiya's eyes turn downcast. "I guess I should have returned to Kinmoku and remained there if it would only lead to more heartbreak. I can't handle these games Odango."

Usagi jumps to her feet. "This was never a game! If I could, I would be back on tour with you! That is all I want!" Her voice lowers. "I might not have been able to spend a lot of time with you on the tour but it was wonderful, seeing this planet together." She takes a few steps closer. "Don't you see? I'm not ready to give up on us. I love you."

He sadly shakes his head. "Your actions don't match up with your words. You only have a few days left before it will be too late and you'll never be able to return. How much have you forgotten already?"

"I…" Usagi stops. She can't face him. "I am developing gaps… I know I went to Kinmoku with you but I don't remember anything that happened there anymore. I … I barely remember any Lunarian. I don't even remember how we stopped Chaos." A shiver runs down her spine. "What if I never gain those memories back?"

"They will never return unless you pull yourself together to get out of this timeline."

Usagi collapses on the couch again behind her.

She gradually opens her eyes. It was a vision or a dream of some short. If only she could remember or receive more direction. Glaring at the crystal in her hands she still doesn't know what to do other than return the crystal to brooch. Mamoru should be back any moment with the curry and she doesn't want to be found with crystal in her hands and her brooch before her.

Usagi stares at the weather forecast on the screen. It has been raining since last night and now they are predicting the storm will be upgraded to a typhoon that will hit Tokyo. Those by the bay have been asked to evacuate closer to the city as a precaution. Their apartment is high up enough to not worry about flooding and not close enough to the roof to worry about a leaking roof.

Turning her attention to the balcony door, she can see rain and a strong wind. She doesn't know why the storm makes her feel uneasy. She freezes. Could it be her previous premonition powers as Sailor Cosmos? Is something bad going to happen during this storm?

Mamoru notices how intently Usagi watches the news. "Usa, this is a normal storm. You have nothing to worry about. Tokyo is prepared for a storm like this and will be prepared for the next storm after."

"Something just doesn't feel right Mamo-chan. I can't explain the feeling, but something seems different about this one, something is off. I just know it."

Sailor Cosmos can feel her powers weakening. Usagi has given up. She is imprisoned in this time with no way to break through without Usagi's help. It is frustrating.

Looking down at the rings on her fingers, she wishes there was a way she could use her powers to help Usagi or nudge her more into the right direction. She has tried and the limit is appearing in visions.

She sighs. Usagi had so many plans and ideas on how she can protect everyone but now she is back to her own limitations. She will not be able to defeat the Black Moon on her own when they surface here. She will be forced to be enclosed in crystal again and hope the younger version of herself will be able to save her.

Anger fills her. All she can do is sit here. Her eyes narrow at the thought of herself disappearing when Usagi loses the rest of the memories from her previous timeline and her only memories will be of this current timeline.

The eight pointed star on her forehead burns for a moment, but nothing changes. She is still trapped until Usagi is able to summon her, if she can.

* Song is Right Here Waiting by Richard Marx

Title is a line from Sakura Drops by Hikaru Utada

The storm hits Tokyo… in more than one way! Stay tuned on 10/15 for Act 49: The Calm before the Storm.

Any predictions on what the storm will be? I'd love to hear your guesses in the comments!