Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans or any of the songs, books, characters, shows and movies I mention in this fic. I don't own anything but my imagination.

A few things:

This is a long story, but I should update it quickly because I've already written most of it. I promise they won't just get together at the end lol.

I can't believe I've written this much, but this basically consists of three "books" or "seasons".

Part I: chapters 1-24

Part II: chapters 25-47

Part III: chapters 48-last chapter (not quite sure how many chapters this last part will consist of yet cause it's not finished)

Also, I'm a musical person and music is very present in this. The fic is named after a Maroon 5 song and the chapters are named after songs that go with them - I'll reference it at the end of each chapter. I also mention a few songs but I won't use lyrics in this for obvious reasons (apart from a single line here and there). So anyway, I made a playlist on Spotify for this. It has the same name and cover as the fanfic. You absolutely DON'T need to listen to any of it to read this, but I highly recomend it. Consider it the official soundtrack lol.

Teen Titans 2003 is canon for this (except for "cartoon world rules" stuff like exaggerated physical/slapstick comedy, Robin punching Cinderblock in the face with no powers, etc, cause I saw this as a live-action in my head). But I'll use a lot of stuff from the comics to add to it. Also, there will be a fun crossover but only for 4 chapters.

Finally, this first chapter starts a few months after Trouble in Tokyo, but the next few chapters will have flashbacks to fill in the blanks.

Let's say BB is 18 and Raven is 19/20 in this first one.

I hope this makes someone's day better!

If you like it, do let me know! xD Happy reading!

I Want to Hold Your Hand

He wasn't sure when it started. Maybe he'd had a thing for her for a while. An unconscious, unrecognized thing. They've had their usual banter for years and that was always fun. He liked annoying her and trying to make her laugh. When she did say he was funny or smart it actually made him swell with pride – not that he would ever tell her that. But she knew. He knew she knew. She was an empath, so she knew all about his self-loathing and crippling anxiety. She never outed him though. When he acted confident in front of everyone, she didn't point out how fake it was. He wasn't surprised because that would be a pretty shitty thing to do and Raven may be a little mean on occasion, but she was never a shitty person. She never outed Robin and Starfire's feelings for each other either, so she was obviously respectful of her friends' privacy, which made sense since she was so secretive with her own emotions. He would like to take a peek on those though, but only because she was so hard to read. If he could tell how she felt, approval would be easier to get.

The thing is, Raven was like that older sister you seek attention from because you secretly admire her, but would never be caught admitting to it. But he never ever saw her as a girl before. That sounded stupid, obviously he knew she was a girl, but she wasn't a normal girl. She was Raven. She was dark and powerful and scary, and even though she was kind and even almost sweet on occasion, he would never dare to look at her in any kind of non-platonic way. He could barely touch her without earning a glare, so his brain was very comfortable with keeping a very safe distance. Or at least it had been until now.

Beast Boy did not think Raven was romantically inclined at all in general. Whatever feelings she had they never developed into something more. Well, except with Malchior, that was the one time he saw her that hurt…and it was much more painful to watch than he'd like to admit. But then again, Malchior was a mighty dragon. She was drawn to dark and powerful things, so it kinda added up. In fact he was pretty sure if a regular guy hit on her she'd be uncomfortable in the best case scenario or send him to an alternate dimension if there was even the slightest hint of disrespect involved. Basically, you'd have to be bold to go for Raven, and he was so not that bold, so he never even considered it.

This wasn't what he planned for the night. He usually enjoyed these events. It was full of beautiful, rich and famous people and the part of him that still sought validation from everyone – which was still much bigger than he would like to admit – would usually jump at the chance to get some attention. Not that he could steal Robin or Starfire's thunder, they always had the spotlight. The only time he felt he did was with those girls in Tokyo. Man, that was cool. But still, being a superhero and all that he could usually get some positive attention, sign some autographs, find some fans, and sometimes even a date, though that wasn't as common. Green skin and pointy ears are a very specific look. But now, here he was, sitting by the bar, mouth agape, paralyzed and completely unable to remove his gaze from her.

Raven walked in as she usually did, calmly and discreetly, looking around cautiously because unlike him, she did not enjoy these. They were all in formal wear tonight. It was fancy and the uniforms didn't seem appropriate for the red carpet. Dick had mentioned he believed the whole notion of inviting super heroes to these things was weird and inappropriate since he didn't want to be seen as a celebrity, but he had easily caved when he realized Starfire liked it so much. Thank God for Starfire. Beast Boy appreciated the opportunity to feel like a celebrity, unlike Robin and Raven, and he was very aware she was the reason they were here tonight. She was the stand out for sure too, her beauty was literally out of this world and in her long shiny red dress she was mind-blowing. He didn't see her in that way either, but he wasn't blind and it was an objective fact that Star was the most beautiful girl there.

Maybe the second most beautiful, his treacherous brain corrected him. To be honest he wasn't sure this was coming from his brain, because his mind was hazy and his thoughts were blurry. His stomach was swirling in confusion and his hands were sweaty. All because Raven was wearing a stupid dress. A stupid dark-blue dress with a tight sparkly bustier that hugged her upper torso nicely and a long light-fabric skirt with an opening on the side that went all the way up to her thigh. Her hair was slightly curled at the ends and she was wearing makeup. There was a lot of smoky dark eyeshadow around her big violet eyes – which was probably there to remind people not to mess with her in this girly dress, but only made her look fiercely beautiful and her eyes look even deeper. The rest of her face was painted very softly, so the eyes really stood out.

When she walked in he didn't immediately connect the girl to the girl. He actually just stopped thinking when he saw her, except for the slow realization that this extremely hot girl was Raven. He kept his hypnotized gaze on her while she greeted Robin and Starfire and then quickly moved away since they were getting too much attention for her taste, and then did the same with Cyborg who was talking to a particularly energetic tech-inclined group of people. Somewhere in his mind Garfield started to realize this meant trouble.

Was he really daring to think of Raven as hot now? If she sensed this she would not be pleased. But all of that was overshadowed by the hypnotizing way she moved across the room avoiding the attention of anyone with a camera or a microphone. Has she always been this pretty? Surely not, right? His heart skipped a beat when her eyes rose from the floor and met his across the room, instantly filled with relief for finding another familiar face. She had come in late because she wanted to finish her book or something equally as Raven-ish. She gave him a tiny smile and he managed to control his brain long enough to close his mouth and smile back idiotically.

Dude she's coming here, she's walking this way now. Get your shit together. He watched in awe as she quickly dismissed any attention she was getting on the way and walked up to him confidently. How dare she look like this?! She ruined everything. His carefully crafted overly respectful image of her, the platonic way he thought of her, it was all ruined in a second. What am I supposed to do with this?! This is bad. He needed to shake this off fast, or he would die of embarrassment. He decided she could not know he found her attractive. That could either make her even more arrogant than she already was or worse, drive her away.

They had been a lot closer lately, for a whole lot of reasons, but it was all strictly platonic, of course. He didn't want to lose their closeness, but if she sensed this she'd be uncomfortable around him for sure. For a split second he dared to consider the possibility of reciprocation, but it was too absurd. He never really worried or wondered if Rae would be attracted to him simply because he never considered being attracted to her, but the answer was obviously no. IF she ever were to be with someone in that way it would probably be some hell bound Donnie Darko-loving warlock or something. Definitely not...

"Hello-o?"

Shit. He hadn't realized she was this close already. She was right in front of him, frowning with a concerned look on her face. She had probably been there for a while. He needed to respond fast before she thought he was brain damaged. Pull yourself together. He swallowed and straightened up on the chair. He tried to smirk charmingly and lean back on the counter but his elbow missed it and he fell quite awkwardly on the floor. He immediately got back up again with a sheepish grin on his face though.

"Er...hi!" Garfield scratched the back of his neck. Why am I so awkward right now?

"Are you okay?" She said genuinely concerned.

Okay, she didn't notice. Just chill and you'll be fine. Just stop being an idiot. "Yeah."

She didn't look convinced.

He cleared his throat to continue. "I just um...well I..." He was glad he was speaking again, but he had yet to form a full sentence and he was looking down to avoid her gaze, so he was pretty sure he wasn't safe yet. He searched his brain for something to say.

"Are you sick or something?" She pressed the back of her hand to his forehead.

His skin tingled under her touch and his heart started pounding.

"You're all sweaty and flustered." Her monotone was the same as usual but she was frowning.

Perfect. Thankou. "YES!" He shouted and her eyes widened slightly so he lowered his voice again. "I mean yeah I think I'm definitely coming down with something."

She didn't look less concerned, but she seemed to buy it.

"Are you sure you should be here? Because you know, if you need to go home, I would be more than pleased to take you." Raven said looking around as if she was looking for a way out already.

For a brief second he got excited at the prospect of Raven taking him home, but she obviously just wanted an excuse to leave. He probably should have accepted and gone to bed, that way this weird night would be over and he could wake up the next morning to his usual friendly feelings for her and forget all about this mental breakdown, because he was certain this feeling would be gone when he saw her looking normal again. And she never had to find out about his lapse. But…he wanted to spend time with her.

"I'm fine. It's probably just a cold or something. I want to stay."

She nodded slowly because she already expected that. Of course he wants to stay. He loves these things. "Worth the shot." Raven sat down next to him at the bar, facing the party.

He chuckled and Raven secretly hoped he didn't want to stand up and go socialize right now because she did not want to sit alone at this bar and she definitely didn't want to go talk to random strangers. She felt safe sitting here with her friend and she hoped he would keep her company for a while, though she would never ask.

"Well since you're keeping me company let me get you a drink." Beast Boy had managed to compose himself. Finally.

"Sure, it might be the only way to get through this." She shrugged. Nobody cared if you were old enough to drink at these events, especially if you were a half-demon superhero.

He still felt his chest ache slightly every time she addressed him, but if she noticed it he would blame it on being sick. He tried not to get excited about the idea of getting her a drink, since it could easily be a friendly gesture. Wait, it IS a friendly gesture. Right?

"What's your poison?"

"Surprise me." She said casually.

The shapeshifter was grateful she wasn't looking at him because he felt his cheeks burn and he was sure he was blushing. He ordered a Moscow Mule for her because he remembered seeing her use ginger and lime on her tea before. When she sipped the drink she gave him the tinniest smile in approval and he felt his heart flutter. Her powers picked up on it.

"Are you sure you're okay?" She asked him seriously.

"Yeah yeah yeah, don't worry I'm fine." He took a deep breath and directed his gaze to the party because if he kept looking at her he would give himself away. "So...did you finish your book?"

Raven stared at him incredulously. "Since when is that an interesting conversation topic for you?"

Garfield opened his mouth to respond but a tall handsome guy approached them. Well, approached Raven that is.

"Hi, it's Raven right?"

She just stared at him while drinking her Moscow Mule. She wasn't going to spend energy answering that. He knew who she was. Beast Boy felt his heart sink. This handsome dude was obviously hitting on her, and then she would go with him and his night would be ruined.

"Right mm anyway, I was noticing you and..."

"No."

The guy exchanged looks with Beast Boy for a second as if asking for help. Since he found none he turned his attention back to her and composed himself.

"I was just going to ask if..."

"No."

"No what?" He was slightly annoyed now, but Beast Boy was more relieved by the second.

"Not interested." She said in her monotone and then took another sip of her drink.

"Hard to get, are you?" The handsome guy chuckled.

Beast Boy envied his confidence. But he did not envy the glare this bold man earned from Raven. It literally made him take a step back before awkwardly walking away. Beast Boy tried to contain the size of his smile.

"He was charming." He teased her. She grumbled and he laughed whole heartedly and continued. "So what were you reading? I wanna know, I promise."

The empath narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously but decided to entertain him. Maybe he really was feeling so sick he didn't have the energy to interact with strangers tonight and settled for her. She hated herself for secretly being grateful for it. "I did finish, I was reading The Metamorphosis."

"Oh sounds cool, what's it about?" He ordered his second drink because he was feeling very attracted to Raven right now and he needed courage to continue this interaction.

"It's about a salesman who one morning wakes up to find himself transformed into a monstrous gigantic insect suddenly losing all independence and becoming a burden to his loved ones and how his life decays from there." Her eyes met his during the explanation but her expression and voice remained as bored as ever.

"Oh." He gulped and chuckled awkwardly. "That sounds cool."

She looked at him quizzically and raised an eyebrow.

"I mean, not for the guy obviously, but like in a depressive kind of way, like pit of despair cool." He didn't really think it sounded cool at all, it sounded awful, but he didn't want her to think he couldn't handle her interests.

"Yeah, sure."

She clearly did not buy any of that and Garfield mentally slapped himself. At least she seems amused and not offended. "Okay maybe it's not my kind of thing." He admitted as he scratched the back of his neck again.

She started to smile at him when another guy came up. This one, Beast Boy realized with a heavy heart, was much more Raven's type, if there was such a thing. He was lean and he had that whole goth-movie-leading-man vibe going on. He was attractive. And he would definitely appreciate the giant insect book. Damn this guy.

"Well you look quite lovely ton-"

"No, thank you." Raven didn't bother to look at him.

She did look at Beast Boy questioningly because of the rush of happiness she sensed from him after she rejected the man.

"But I..." The guy tried again.

"I'm flattered, really." She looked at him. "But no, thank you."

He seemed disappointed but left anyway. Beast Boy was focused on keeping it cool so he didn't say anything else.

"I'm not being a stuck up, before you say anything. I just know what they want because their emotions are so easy to read by the time they get here." She was nearly done with her drink and starting to loosen up a bit.

"Huh?" His eyes shot up. "Oh, no I wasn't gonna say...I don't think you're being a stuck up. I'm not even an empath and I knew what they wanted too."

Raven laughed. It wasn't a big, loud laughter. It was contained and small, but she definitely laughed. It was the most beautiful sound Beast Boy had ever heard. Wait, what!? Dude, chill. He watched her finish her drink and stare fondly at Robin and Starfire. There was so much love in her gaze, he couldn't help but wonder if she looked at him like that when he wasn't looking. Probably not.

"Do you want another one?" The shapeshifter glanced at the empty mug in her hands.

"Ah, I shouldn't. My powers, you know...I don't think getting drunk is a good idea."

"Oh c'mon you must live a little; you're way too pretty to be so responsible." A smooth voice spoke from behind them. It belonged to the bartender, of course. Beast Boy hadn't noticed he was good looking until now as he cleaned the counter and looked at Raven with a charming smirk.

Where are these guys coming from?! Beast Boy was getting annoyed. He had no right to feel jealous, but then again he was never really in control of his emotions like she was.

"I wasn't aware one's appearance determines the way they should behave." Raven said plainly, making the bartender a little self-conscious. Beast Boy almost felt bad for him.

"I just mean, you're allowed to have a little fun." He recovered nicely and started making her another drink.

"Risking unleashing my demonic father and losing control of myself endangering everyone here is far from my idea of fun, but thank you for the insightful input." She said sarcastically, then turned around and refused to indulge him any further.

Beast boy realized she was annoyed and upset and he shamefully remembered a time when he tried to push her to have his idea of fun without even trying to understand her first. Then he remembered sometimes he still did that. Then he wondered if he was the same as this inconvenient guy in her eyes. And that thought terrified him.

"Aw c'mon don't be like that babe."

Beast Boy winced. Bad idea. At least he knew he never did that. Raven tensed and the air around them got a little colder, then the drink the bartender was making exploded and the liquid shot straight to his face, burning his eyes. He cursed. She smirked. And Beast Boy laughed out loud. As candidate number three left to find a bathroom, Beast Boy went back to his concerns and she sensed it.

"Why are you feeling guilty?"

Apparently the only thing that could get past her tonight was how infatuated with her he was. "Uh I just mm...I was thinking that I do what he did sometimes. I mean, not that last part or trying to get you drunk or anything, duh." He blushed, but she didn't seem to notice so he continued. "Just, you know, I keep trying to push you out of your comfort zone to have fun and I tell myself I'm being nice but now that I see someone else do it I'm wondering if I'm nice or just…annoying." He explained sadly.

He shrank slightly while she studied his face.

"First of all, you're both." Raven pointed out.

He stared at her and she smiled a little. Was that a joke? Should I laugh? Her face was soft and he decided it was safe. Besides, he was grateful she decided to just lighten the mood.

"Oh you're making jokes now?" Beast Boy chuckled.

"If you're going to be the emo one then someone has to."

This time he laughed louder. That one Moscow Mule had definitely done something to her.

"Look, it isn't the same at all. He doesn't know me, you do. You've earned the right to push me." Raven spoke in a serious voice, but she rolled her eyes when she realized he was looking at her with childish bliss in his eyes and maybe enjoying this a bit too much. "And I'll continue to let you know when you've gone too far, obviously."

"Obviously." He tried to contain it but his grin was gigantic.

"You're more nice than annoying, Garfield." Raven knew she would regret this part because he would make a big deal out of it, but she felt like reassuring him because it was sweet of him to care. He really did get a lot better and less invasive over time. Her mind went to a certain plush turtle, but that's another story for another time.

Beast Boy widened his grin even more if that was possible, and now realized he was feeling giddy, probably because of the drinks he had for courage. Those seemed like a bad idea now as he fought back a strong urge to make a move on her. She seemed like she was expecting him to say something smug and was bracing herself for it. He entertained the idea for a minute, but then figured that wasn't the best way to make her like him more. What would a mature person say…? "Thankou."

Raven seemed genuinely surprised and he felt proud. He averted his gaze to slow down his pounding heart because nervousness was one thing, but if she detected the more specific emotion of lust that was definitely pouring out of him he didn't think he could blame it on a cold.

"What do you think those guys are saying?" Raven suddenly said.

The shapeshifter followed her gaze towards Robin and Starfire, who were clearly uncomfortable in a conversation with a group of people. Actually they looked absolutely mortified. Starfire was nearly as red as her dress. Beast Boy chuckled. "Probably something sexual from the level of embarrassment involved. Maybe they're inviting them to an orgy."

The empath nodded slowly. "Or maybe they're asking how sex works with their physical strength difference."

"Oh that's a good guess. Also it's a good question. I mean, not that I spend time wondering about them." He suddenly felt a little embarrassed.

"I don't need to wonder, I know." She said smugly.

Wait what?! "Wait what?!"

Raven laughed lightly and looked at him. "I was reluctant at first but Kory kept talking about the importance of the best friend pact and the girl code." She made air quotes with her fingers. Then she shrugged. "And to be honest I'm not that good at making friends and I really appreciate her, so I caved. Basically I know everything. She tells me everything."

"Everything? What's everything? What does that even mean?" He narrowed his eyes suspiciously at her.

Raven looked right at him intensely. "I mean, everything." She said the word slowly and low.

Garfield gulped and blushed as realization hit him. His eyes widened. "Ohh."

Raven relaxed and softened her expression.

Beast Boy watched her. Was she always this fun? How did I not notice this before? "Wow, that's a lot of information." He laughed nervously.

"Well, she is my best friend." Raven shrugged.

Garfield quickly fought back the slight twinge of jealousy he immediately felt. It's not like he could compete with Starfire. That would be silly. I mean, he usually counted Cyborg as his own best friend but that didn't keep him from considering Raven his best friend in some aspects. Maybe she felt the same.

"That does sound serious." The shapeshifter smiled at her.

He kept getting distracted by their conversation and relaxing until he looked at her again and realized how amazing she looked and got nervous all over again. He saw a new guy start to approach her with a drink and a smug look on his face but this time Raven just glared at him and it was enough to make him turn on his heels and leave.

She immediately softened again. "Oh we are very serious."

Garfield laughed and decided not to tease her. He wasn't trying to embarrass her for once. Not tonight. Not when she was the prettiest girl in the room and he had her undivided attention. So he turned his gaze to Robin and Starfire who had left the inconvenient group of people and were now clearly sweet-talking to each other on a corner feeling very relieved. "I guess getting all the attention has its downside too."

"Definitely." Raven nodded as she spun around in her stool and leaned on the counter looking at Beast Boy, who for some reason didn't dare to meet her eyes. "I worry more about Dick. Kor can handle it. She was made for it."

"Yeah for an alien she has good people skills huh?" Garfield chuckled trying not to sound jealous. He liked to think he had people skills too, but obviously he wasn't as much of a hit. Starfire didn't need to try, she was just naturally delightful. He always tried so hard...

"Plus, she's gorgeous." Raven added.

"Right." Beast Boy smiled unknowingly. "There's that."

Raven started inspecting her black fingernails in a relaxed manner and he decided it was safe to watch her again. Why does she have to move so gracefully? He smiled fondly at her as he thought about how awesome it was she could be friends with someone like Kory without the slightest hint of jealousy. The way she had called her gorgeous was just so natural and genuine…and then it hit him. Shit. He hadn't said anything about how Raven looked yet. She obviously looked very different and made an effort, and it would have only been polite to notice it as her friend. He had noticed it, obviously, and had been suffering for it, but he didn't say anything to her. Nice one.

"Oh mm, by the way mm…" He cleared his throat thinking about the best way to do this, but he really should have done that before he started speaking in the first place. "You are…like…I mean, you know, the…" He made a hand gesture signaling to all of her and he remained completely oblivious to her expression switching from confusion to amusement as he straightened up and continued. "Like, wow you know, not wow…I mean, basically but like not in a weird way, it's just, uh…" A defeated sigh escaped his lips and he decided to stare at a random spot on the floor for clarity.

"Are you trying to say I look nice?"

Yes, thankou. His relieved expression met her extremely amused one and he laughed sheepishly and scratched the back of his neck for the third time tonight. "Yeah…I am."

"Thank you." She gave him a small smile that was more for how fun it was to watch his rambling than for the compliment itself and then gestured to herself. "This is all Kory, by the way, all of it. She said I had to let her get me ready."

He smiled and secretly cursed Starfire for the first time in his life. So this is all her fault then. "I see."

"It took you a while to notice. A lot longer than everyone else." She probably wouldn't have said that without that Moscow Mule, but Gar was just so fun to tease.

His face contorted regretfully and he bit his lip. "Sorry, I did notice. Obviously I noticed. I just didn't say anything. My bad. Anyway, you look very nice." Well that's the understatement of the year, his brain mocked. She looked nonchalant and it made him think of something. "Do you like it? How you look, I mean."

Raven took a minute to think about it. "I don't mind it. I wasn't expecting her to put so much of me in it, so I was pleasantly surprised…" Then she tilted her head down slightly and looked up at the party in a way that made Beast Boy's stomach dance. "I just don't love all the extra attention that comes with it." She spoke that last part a little louder than a whisper.

Yes, thank goodness we're gonna address this. It had been bothering him too, though for very different and much more selfish reasons. Hearing her say she wasn't loving it made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside, but he needed to know for sure she wasn't just turning these guys down to be a good friend to him. Not that it mattered, she didn't want him anyway, but it would hurt more if she wanted someone else. He would never act on it, and he would try to be happy for her, but it would hurt. So he laughed and thought of something witty to say.

"I know, right? I was just thinking if the next guy will just get sent to another dimension or something."

"He might be."

"Are you sure there isn't anyone in particular here whose attention you would enjoy?" Beast Boy said as he gestured around the room, making a decent job at sounding chill. "I mean, there are some attractive characters here." Please say no, please say no.

Raven looked at him quizzically as if that was the craziest question in the world. "No, thank you." She said pointedly.

Beast Boy hadn't realized he'd been holding his breath.

"I was actually hoping sitting here talking to you would help with that a bit…" She was actively avoiding the gaze of this other guy who had been smiling and staring at her from a distance.

"Oh I'm not nearly intimidating enough for that. You should have stood by Cyborg." He chuckled and his heart skipped another beat when she smiled at him. Why does this keep happening!?

"Well, I think I am. If you want to get someone's number tonight sitting here with me might not be the best plan…"

Garfield tried to laugh, but it came out sad. "That's not your fault. I did get a number earlier..."

"Oh?" Raven seemed interested.

"Yeah but she just wanted me to introduce her to Robin."

Her face fell for a split second before becoming stoic again. "Which one? Want me to banish her to another dimension?" Her eyes scanned the room looking for her victim. "Was it her?" She pointed at a very pretty tanned blonde.

Now he was laughing whole-heartedly again. "No, it wasn't her."

"Was it her? Or her?" She pointed at two other girls.

Beast Boy found this whole bit of hers absolutely adorable, but he didn't expect her to get it right on the third try. There were many girls there. How on earth did she do that? His face must have betrayed him because she smirked.

"I see." Raven said smugly.

"How did you…"

"She's very your type." Raven shrugged casually. "So where should I send her to? There's this one dimension where everyone has three eyes, so she would be a freak there."

Beast Boy was staring at her incredulously. Did he have a type? And was she familiar with it? It took him a minute to join the conversation again. "That is so sweet of you to offer." He smiled cheekily at her.

"I have my moments."

Why did everything she say make his chest hurt? Maybe he really was sick. "It would be poetic irony since around here I'm the freak."

She fell silent.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to make it weird…" Garfield started apologizing for making the conversation take a depressive turn.

"No, it's just…well, I know you care what people think of you. I'm a freak too. Gray and purple aren't exactly most people's natural coloring." Garfied opened his mouth to speak but she continued before he could. "But I know this bothers you more than it bothers me and I also know yours is more obvious with the green skin and everything, but I still don't think you should care what everyone thinks. I think you should only care about what the right people think. And the first person to matter should be you. If you know who you are and embrace it, everything else becomes…bearable. It has to start with you."

Beast Boy knew she was right about everything as usual; he wanted validation from others because he didn't do a very good job at validating himself. "Easier said than done." He tried to sound light-hearted.

"I know." She nodded.

"Can't it start with you?" The shapeshifter grinned at her childishly. "Do you think I'm a repulsive freak?" She wouldn't say yes, right?

"It doesn't matter what I think, that's the whole point."

Raven wouldn't have needed her powers to know his heart broke, because it was all over his face. She bit her lip when she realized he was fighting the urge to either run or cry. Finally she sighed heavily and gave up. "For Azar's sake, I was just trying to make a point. There's nothing repulsive about how you look, okay?"

Garfield looked up at her with surprise and hope in his eyes. "Really!?"

Raven was confused. She wasn't sure why this meant so much to him. He had always looked for validation from her on his intelligence, his powers or his comedic abilities, but never on his looks. Even so, lately she found it extremely difficult to disappoint him.

"Yes, really. It's your personality that's just kind of okay." She gave him a friendly smile to let him know she was joking.

They shared laughter, his much louder than hers, naturally.

"Actually tonight you don't look too bad yourself." Raven added, and she meant it. It was nice to see him in the dark green tux.

Beast Boy's grin was so big it nearly split his face. He forgot caution and allowed his stare to linger on her. His heart raced and the butterflies in his stomach came back. His hands got sweaty and he tried to dry them on his pants. Raven frowned again and she pressed the back of her hand to his neck this time. It was a normal gesture for her, but it obviously enhanced all his symptoms. He inhaled and failed miserably when trying to look away from her, so his eyes just got wider.

"Are you sure you don't need to go home?" This time she wasn't just looking for an excuse to leave. She was really worried.

"Ah, yes, I think you're right." The shapeshifter decided to take her cue before he got himself in trouble.

"I usually am."

He smiled dreamily at that and Raven became even more worried, because clearly this wasn't normal. He probably had a fever or something. So she went to tell the others she was taking him back to the tower, then she took him to an empty corner and teleported them home. All the while he kept that stupid dreamy smile on his face.

Back in the tower, Beast Boy was painfully aware they were alone, and Raven was still looking exquisite and he wasn't quite sober yet. He stumbled over to the couch and collapsed after taking his tux off. It was a very confusing evening and he desperately needed it to be over. He figured Raven would just go to her room and he needed to sleep as far away from that as possible so she wouldn't pick up on his emotions. Without other people around he was more exposed to her empathic abilities. And it terrified him.

"Do you want me to heal you?"

Ah, yes actually. But unfortunately I don't think you can. "No way. It's just a cold, no need to wear you down, spare your energy for the bad guys. I'll feel better in the morning." Beast Boy answered. At least I hope so.

"Do you want some food then?"

His eyes shot open. Was she not going to bed? Why was she being so caring? Obviously it was normal, they cared for each other, and they were even kind of really protective of each other. Usually he would really appreciate this. However, it wasn't helping his current situation. But then again, he was kind of hungry.

"Is there any vegan pizza left?" Garfield asked.

"Yeah, I'll heat it up for you."

Again, no big deal, so why did his stupid heart insist on soaring? This is a VERY weird night. Beast Boy was certain the next morning this feeling would be gone and she would just be regular Raven again. He was certain of it. He just needed to make it through the night. When she brought him food he sat up and took it gratefully. He really was hungry.

"Thanks! By the way if you're tired or you wanna go read or something it's fine. Don't worry about me."

But Raven was worried. "I actually still think you should just let me heal you. You're really hot."

His eyes widened and he choked on the pizza. Then he realized what she meant and felt really stupid.

Raven took a few seconds to understand his reaction and blushed a little, feeling very grateful he was too busy coughing to notice. She rolled her eyes feeling a bit embarrassed and cleared her throat. "Your temperature is very high." She said, handing him a glass of water.

Garfield took it and nodded to let her know he knew what she meant. Once he recovered, he decided he had embarrassed himself enough for one night. "Seriously Rae it's fine. I think it was just the alcohol. In fact, I feel better now and I still wanna have some fun, so I'll probably just go out again."

"I don't think so."

"Well you're not the boss of me." Garfield said it in a playful manner but then something weird happened. Something deep inside him twisted with excitement at the idea of this Raven bossing him around.

The empath sighed and sat down on the other end of the couch, resting her elbows on her knees and her chin on her hands. She turned her head to look at him. "Okay fine, what do you want to do? We can do something here, I honestly don't think going out is a good idea."

Now Garfield was getting desperate because now she just looked so freaking cute. She was looking at him hesitantly waiting for an answer and he knew he should turn down her help and reassure her he was fine then go to sleep. But how could he? How could he just refuse her when she was looking like some darker version of a fucking Disney princess with those hypnotizing eyes and that smooth skin and that wonderful lavender scent? No, he had no right to refuse her. He needed something that would distract both of them before she caught up with the real reason he was so hot all night. "Wanna play video games?"

She didn't. But if Raven was being honest, she would have done nearly anything he suggested to keep him from going out. She wasn't sure what was wrong, but something was definitely off with him. And Raven had already accepted the fact that she cared for this scrawny green boy on a deep, deep level. She had accepted the harsh fact that he had a hold on her because whatever he asked of her with those childish pleading eyes and that stupid gigantic grin, he would probably get. It hadn't always been like that. She used to be much more in control. But lately she found herself very attached to him. So when she thought about it, video games didn't sound that bad. "Sure, why not?"

He grinned widely and explained the game to her. It was a racing game. At first she wasn't really trying but then losing repeatedly to Beast Boy of all people started bothering her. Raven scowled and straightened up as he cheered another victory. Garfield had never been more grateful for the existence of video games, since they gave him an excuse not to look at her, a distraction from his feelings and something to act smug about.

"Don't be a sore loser RaeRae." Beast Boy said teasingly.

"First of all, it's Raven for you right now. And you're asking for a lot. I am supposed to be Pride, you know?"

"…what?" Garfield blinked. He had no idea what she was talking about.

"Trigon has seven children; each of us represents a Capital Sin. I'm going to change now because this dress is clearly holding me back, but I'm coming back. We're going again." Her glare was so intense it made him flinch.

Garfield was left to take in what he'd just learned until she came back wearing black shorts and a gray loose t-shirt. She had also washed her face. Beast Boy felt a rush of relief when he saw her, but it didn't last long. As soon as she sat back down – this time way closer to him – and picked up the controller decisively, looking at him with the same intensity she had when she left, his heart ached again. God help me, does she look even more beautiful!? How is that possible!? Why is this happening to me!?

"Again." Raven said pointedly as she stared at the screen.

They started playing again and this time she put effort into it.

"So…you're a Capital Sin?"

"You didn't know that?"

"Nope."

"Huh. Well, yeah, kind of." Raven shrugged. "We just represent the sins and we can manipulate them in others. Sins and sinners have obviously been around way longer than me."

"And you have six siblings out there somewhere?"

"Brothers. I'm his only daughter. But…yes. I'm the nice one though, so you can imagine why there are no family gatherings."

"And you're uh…Pride, huh?"

"The original sin. Yes. That's why I can manipulate all the sins."

"That's such a Pride thing to say." Garfield laughed and to his surprise and bliss, she chuckled along with him.

And then she beat him in the game.

"Gotcha." Raven playfully dropped the controller like a mic.

Beast Boy's heart fluttered. She could beat him anytime as far as he was concerned. "You know…this information actually explains a lot."

The empath rolled her eyes and elbowed him lightly, with a – if not happy – peaceful expression on her face. "I'm barely even proud anymore. You all ruined me."

Garfield wished he could have been a better friend to her all these years. He wished he noticed how amazing she was before. He knew she could sense way too much affection emanating from him, but he was an intense guy. As long as affection was all she picked up on for sure, she shouldn't give him a hard time for it. Besides, he felt he owed her a proper response. So Beast Boy focused on his more wholesome feelings for her so that when he looked at her she could see admiration – and not desire – fill his eyes. It worked well enough. He smiled fondly. "No one could ruin you. You're Raven. The only one who stands a chance against you is you. But I'm so glad you let us in."

Well that was cute. Raven's brain was a bit hazy for a second there, but she managed to get a hold of it. Garfield would come up with these insightful disgustingly sweet comments every now and then, and it always made her feel all warm inside. He was such a good person, and whenever he said something nice about her she was sure she must be a good person too. But this time seemed different for some reason…

Beast Boy felt uneasy when Raven's expression remained blank and she didn't say anything so he decided to speak again. "Also you're not ruined; obviously, you're just like, way more than just Pride now. You outgrew that."

Raven finally caught up with the moment and smiled softly at him, unknowingly sending him to cloud nine.

"I mean, mostly. You're still pretty stuck up." Garfield's mouth made the joke before his brain could stop it.

And then the most amazing thing happened. She giggled. She actually giggled and it was the cutest sound and sight he had ever witnessed.

"You giggled!" His brain wasn't fast enough to stop his mouth for the second time on a roll. Beast Boy realized he was pointing a finger at her rather childishly too.

Obviously she stopped giggling the second the pointed it out.

"I did no such thing." Raven's face was blank again but there was still a hint of amusement she couldn't hide.

"Did so!"

"Never. You're crazy. And feverish. And possibly drunk."

"Not true. I made you giggle." Beast Boy said breezily. He didn't have a care in the world at that point.

"Delusional." She pushed him lightly and he fell on his back on the couch. "You should go to sleep before you start hallucinating."

Garfield happily complied. He knew what he saw. He saw her giggle. He knew that she knew it too. And he wanted to see it again. And he wanted to be the reason for it. But for now he was happy. Really happy. Hopefully that was all she sensed from him.

"Okay, fine. I'll sleep. Bossy." He muttered.

"I didn't mean here, idiot. In your room."

"Nope, I'm staying here. Wanna sleep here tonight. My room smells bad." It wasn't a lie, it just wasn't the real reason he didn't want to go.

Raven decided that made sense. "Sure, you do that. Let me know if you need anything, okay? But don't go into my room. Just ring me on the communicator."

"Sure thing." Beast Boy cuddled with the pillows.

Raven rolled her eyes fondly. "'Night Gar."

His heart did happy flips. He loved it so much when she called him that. "'Night Rae!"

As she was walking out heading towards her room, Beast Boy called out to her one last time. "Oh wait! Rae?"

"Yeah...?" The empath turned around slightly.

"Thank you." It was genuine. He really was grateful.

Raven smiled slightly before heading to her room. She needed to meditate before going to bed, because…Azar forgive me, I did giggle.

I Want to Hold Your Hand (The Beatles)