Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Adventure time.

VII: Nuisance

Saturday 5 pm.

The ever-present scent of cherry mixed with the smell of old paper and ink created something inexplicable, but, the cool breeze from the air conditioner kept him comfortable. He stacked books on the table, each bookmarked on different pages.

Cross-legged on the bed, slouched over an encyclopedia and unsure how long he'd been at it. Hundreds of pages and only general information about the kingdoms in Ooo, their leaders or princesses, and the so-called 'magic.' Nothing groundbreaking, just basic knowledge, something children could recite for good points.

The only thing that managed to snatch his attention was Lumpy Space because it was located in another dimension. He read more into it but that was all; it was in a different dimension and was ruled by the king and queen of Lumpy Space. Full stop. So much for an encyclopedia.

He stacked the book on the wafer cabinet by his bed and rubbed his eyes. Dimensional transport was normal and Lumpy Space had a technique, seal, or portal that enabled them to transport between dimensions.

But the place was mapped, there was information about Lumpy Space but none about Konoha. Common sense told him one of them existed in Ooo and it wasn't his village. Maybe he could use whatever technique these Lumpy people had to go back to Konoha.

Fifty-fifty.

One thing he disliked was having little options. So much to actually build a plan for something unguaranteed. A sigh. Since this was the only option for now, he'd take a chance. Better than nothing, at least.

If he spoke with any citizen of Lumpy Space that'd be enough. Plus, he didn't need to leave the castle for that. The party would probably bring them to him. In Konoha an event like that wasn't all for fun. If the same applied here, then he could expect other leaders to be present. Along with a few of their citizens or members.

Huh, it suddenly didn't seem so pointless after all.

A leader would want to associate with other leaders. While there were much better methods to go about it, a party was a good way of masking the...

He shook his head. Ah, he was over-analyzing.

The purpose of the party and what Bubblegum hoped to gain from it was none of his concern. He just needed to speak with one Lumpy person.

On paper it sounded easy. Practically, it should be too. But it'd be stupid not to take the dimension into consideration. From what he'd seen, the chances of some overblown impossibility occurring was not zero and he came to accept it that way.

He gave up on the plan being foolproof. It just had to be enough. How could he craft a foolproof plan in a fool's world?

If the party held and the lumpy people were invited. Then that was ideal enough.

Those two things were vital for him to know first and foremost.

But all that would come later.

His eyes drooped. Man, he could use some sleep. He'd been looking at papers for what seemed hours. The best part was he could comfortably get some since it was a weekend; so no Princess to bother him.

Just as he set his head down, laughter from sentient food seeped into his room and stopped his drifting. The curtains were up but the windows shut. Their voices made it through the shut window and almost soundproof door. How incredibly useful.

He walked up to shut the curtains and briefly looked downward. A lot of them, like ants, went about their day. He watched them with a frown. Smoothie people, chocolate-dipped apple people, ice cream people, ugh, perspective-warping people, turn-your-brain-off people, and generally headache-inducing people.

They were hard to look at. He never kept eye contact with Bubblegum and she looked better than most. They looked wrong. He looked wrong. Everything looked wrong.

On some of the buildings, poles, etc. The blink of security cameras mounted on different spots around the kingdom. Either those were busted or a banana guard was in charge of cams. Both situations were the same.

He turned and spotted those giant gumball machines, blowing bubbles. Once, he doubted their capabilities, especially because of how they looked. But after he'd seen one of them vaporize a creature for flying too close to the kingdom borders, it changed his perspective. To be fair, they warned it about three times before reducing it to ash.

There was probably some kind of setting or restriction on them but it wasn't his job to figure it out.

Shikamaru waved it off, yawning. He reached for the curtains, only for his hand to go right through the fabric. For a second, sleep left his eyes. He squinted in disbelief and reached again and gripped it. Soft and loose, it draped over his hand. He stood there, running his fingers over the curtain.

He was sleepy, vision-impaired sleepy. Probably grabbed nothing the first time. Shikamaru shook his head, shut the curtains, and slid under the covers.

The noise dialed back a notch and Shikamaru sighed in relief. What a pain. They sure knew how to be noisy. Peace and quiet, he could finally—

His shut eyes pinched in annoyance.

Approaching footsteps.

He sighed. Long and hard.

He was the fool for thinking he could rest without issue. Not once had that happened yet he kept believing it possible. Shikamaru inwardly applauded himself.

"It's open." He snuck a glance.

Princess walked into the room. She wore her lab coat over casual attire, stethoscope hung over her neck. She was supposed to be off work today.

"And how's my favorite patient?" She sat by the edge of his bed and set her purse on her lap.

He turned his back to her, sinking deeper into the covers.

She chuckled. "Doing well. Got it."

Maybe it wasn't all bad she was here. Princess was a blabbermouth, he could probably learn something useful. The mechanical hum of the air conditioner was the dominant ambient. She hummed along and drummed her fingers on her purse. For two minutes.

Shikamaru sighed, long and hard. "Did something happen?"

She gave a quizzical hum. "I can't drop by?"

"From?"

He could feel her frown. "From work."

"Why are you working on a weekend?"

"Had to. It was an emergency."

"An emergency?"

"Yeah. It's the Ice King."

"The Ice what?"

"King."

"Who's that?"

Princess shifted, turning to look at him.

"I've, uh, been living under a rock."

"Yeah..." she said, but thankfully she dropped it. "He's just a really old ice wizard who enjoys kidnapping princesses."

Never zero percent.

He shook his head. Might've glimpsed a page or two on him in that encyclopedia but he couldn't recall. But in Ooo, names or titles were taken literally in some way. So either he was completely made of ice or he could control the element to a degree. It was fifty-fifty. With this place, it was always fifty-fifty.

"What's wrong with him?"

"Just some minor heart complications," she said. "He's a bit stable now, though."

"Did you tell Bubblegum at least?"

"That an old pervert is being treated in her kingdom?" Who is currently stable. "Yeah. I did."

"And?"

"She doesn't mind."

Sigh... Maybe she allowed it for some reason unknown to him.

"Well, she's the boss." He shrugged.

"She *is* the boss." Princess giggled. "We'll probably discharge him before he can cause any harm."

He hummed. "How did he make it past those gumball things, though."

Princess looked around and motioned him closer.

He scooted over.

"I probably shouldn't be telling you this but the ice king isn't really registered as a threat to the kingdom."

"So, he's just a pervert then."

Princess nodded.

Ah. A lot of things made sense now. Maybe, he wasn't a bad person at heart. Kinda like Master Jiraiya.

"Anyways." She snapped her fingers and sifted through her purse. "I got you some blood medicine."

"Huh?" He knew what she meant but it wouldn't hurt to confirm. It could be literal for all he knew.

"Medicine to keep your blood up."

They were on the same track. "Drop it wherever."

"Hey, you have to take them, you know." She set the container by the wafer cabinet. It rattled.

"I will."

"Start now." She folded her arms.

How troublesome. He grabbed the medicine.

"I'll get water." One minute max and she was back. "Here."

Shikamaru had to gulp it in front of her before she was satisfied enough to let him be.

"Once every day, okay?" she said. "It's really, really, really important."

Yikes. His blood level must be abysmal. Didn't want to ask either.

"Ah, sure."

Princess took the cup from him and leaned on the reading table. "So, will you come out today?"

What kind of trap question was that?

"Uh... no?"

"Why not?"

"It's a weekend."

"So?"

"I rest on weekends."

"You rest every day."

"But especially on weekends."

She grumbled. "At least come out so Bubblegum can see you once a while. She still thinks you haven't fully recovered."

"But I haven't fully recovered."

"I...yes but come on." Princess folded her arms. "You know how that makes me look?"

Well, he guessed that was fair. The more he remained in the room, the less capable she looked. It was understandable.

"I could lose my job." She placed a hand on her chest. "You wouldn't want that, would—"

"She wouldn't fire you," he stated.

She opened her mouth and closed it. "Y-You don't know that."

"I do." He rubbed his eyes. She should've picked a better excuse.

"Ugh... J-Just get up and get out some time, okay?" She reverted to that after her plan failed.

Shikamaru hummed. Sadly, it went into one ear and out of the other. As she grabbed her things to leave, he wanted to throw some questions at her but decided it wasn't worth the hassle. Only Bubblegum could give him the information he needed.

Instead, he opted to tell her something else.

"Thanks."

Princess quizzically pointed at herself and he nodded.

She tilted her head.

"You know, for the stitches and, uh, the IV, painkillers and..." he waved his hand. "Everything, basically."

Her lips curled into a humored smile. "Wow, you're really bad at thanking."

"I'm not used to it."

"Huh? You've never thanked anyone before?"

He shook his head. "Hardly ever been in a position where I had to." Hardly ever put himself in such situations either.

"It's fine." She chuckled and pulled open the door. "But thank Bubblegum too."

"Will do."

Shikamaru nodded and she left. Hopefully, she won't be back till Monday.

He snuggled into the covers, already half asleep.