June 2013
Gwen was not fond of the fashion tastes at Kamar Taj. All they had were weird robes and odd traditional clothing. Gwen didn't understand why she had to wear their clothes rather than her own jeans, skirts, and shirts, but she didn't want to give them an excuse to kick her out on the first day, so she grudgingly put on the white outfit and finished getting ready.
She easily found the room where The Ancient One was waiting for her, along with her father. Stephen gave her a smile while The Ancient One gave a short nod. "Come. Sit." She gestured to a small cushion on the floor next to her father. Gwen knelt down on it and faced The Ancient One, ready to begin her training.
"The study of the Mystic Arts is as old as civilization," The Ancient One told them. "Its use is to create spells. But if that word offends your modern sensibilities, you can call it a program." Gwen bit back a retort. The Ancient One lifted her hands and started to create what looked like solid gold dust, forming shapes in midair. Gwen stared at it with wide eyes, mesmerized. "We draw power from other dimensions to cast spells, conjure shields and weapons; to create magic."
Her hands fell to her sides and the golden magic disappeared. "But, even if my hands could do that, I would still just be waving my hands in the air. How do I get from here to there?" Stephen asked.
"How did you learn how to reattach severed nerves?" The Ancient One replied. She turned to Gwen. "How do you plan to learn how to do that?"
"Study and practice, years of it," Stephen answered for both of them.
The Ancient One just nodded. Then, she stood up. "Here at Kamar Taj, we offer classes that have multiple students. You will attend those classes, as well as having personal lessons with a personal trainer." She waved her hand at two people behind them. "Stephen, you will train with Master Mordo." The man that had guided them here gave Stephen a polite nod, which he returned. "Guinevere, you will train with Master I Sajit." A younger man, probably only a few years older than her, politely inclined his head to her. "Off you go. I wish you luck." The Ancient One walked away, leaving them alone.
Sajit jerked his head towards the door. "Come, Guinevere. There is much to see. Much to learn." Gwen shot her father a tentative smile. He nodded encouragingly. So she followed Sajit out the door.
He guided her outside into the courtyards. Plants of all kinds bloomed outside in a sort of garden. Birds chirped out their songs. The air was crisp, but not cold. Overall, it was a beautiful morning. Sajit went in between two trees to reveal a space that was hidden from the rest of the courtyard. He turned to face her. "Sit down," he instructed her as he too sat down with his legs crossed. Gwen followed suit. "We will start each day by meditating out here."
"Why?" Gwen asked right away. "How is that going to help me learn how to do magic?"
Sajit looked faintly annoyed. "The Mystic Arts," he sniffed loftily, "is about more than just waving one's hands in the air. It requires a mastery of both mind and emotion. Meditation will allow us to ponder on our emotions, to try to clear our minds. A clear mind will allow for more room to focus on the Mystic Arts."
Gwen nodded in understanding. "So you guys are like the Jedi?" she asked jokingly. Sajit did not laugh. He only looked at her with a stony face, unblinking. Almost scowling. "Sorry," she apologized, wondering what his problem was.
Sajit closed his eyes and placed his hands on his knees. "Close your eyes," he told her. "Try to focus on your surroundings. Think of nothing else. Calm both your body and your mind."
Her eyes fluttered shut and she placed her hands on her knees like he did. They sat in silence. Gwen tried to do as he said and clear her mind, but she was antsy. She was ready to start learning how to make the magic. How hard could it possibly be? Harry never had to meditate at Hogwarts. Why did she have to?
It felt like hours later that Sajit finally cleared his throat. "I think that will do for today," he said softly. Gwen opened her eyes gratefully, eager to begin her real training. "Stand up and follow me."
This time, he led her to a different part of the courtyard. This space was more open and visible to others. Gwen stopped when he did. Sajit turned and started to circle her. "We will begin with a simple spell. We will conjure what looks like a rope made of gold. I will demonstrate." Sajit made some complicated hand movements. Conjured between his hands was a thin, golden, shimmering, rope-like object.
"Ok," she said slowly. "Do that again, but slower."
Sajit repeated the movement, and she studied it closely. "Now you try," Sajit said, lowering his hands and letting the rope disappear.
"Uh, ok." Gwen cleared her throat. Slowly, she did her best to echo his movements. But nothing happened. Not so much as a spark. Gwen hadn't expected it to work on the first try, so this was not a major disappointment. She just decided to try again. Still, there was nothing. Again and again and again she tried, but nothing happened. "What am I doing wrong?" she asked Sajit, now somewhat frustrated.
He looked at her reproachfully. "You did not clear your mind," he told her.
"I did," she argued, lying through her teeth.
Sajit just sighed and shook his head. "No matter. It often takes days for most to learn how to do this properly. Keep trying." He continued to pace in front of her while Gwen waved her hands in the air with no results.
It was several days later, and Gwen had not improved in the slightest. Even after she tried harder during meditation time. There was not so much as a spark of magic.
She was frustrated beyond belief, but she was somewhat comforted by the fact that her father was not improving either. He had had no success either. Still, it was humiliating when they were in classes with multiple people and they were the only ones unable to conjure spells.
Sajit was finishing up their usual morning training before Gwen would go to a lesson to learn how to use a sling ring. Her attitude was already bad, but it was especially bad today because she really wanted to use a sling ring, but at this rate, she would never be able to use one.
"This is useless!" she spat out angrily as she yet again failed to conjure the simplest of spells.
"It's not useless," Sajit told her. "You just need to try harder."
"I am trying!" she shouted. "But it's… not… working!" She waved her hands again and again, to emphasize her point.
"You are not trying hard enough," Sajit replied, raising his voice. "You gave up after your first day. Because that is what you do. You are so used to everything coming naturally to you. So used to being number one in classes. So used to being the smartest person in the room. And now that you have to actually work for something, you decide to give up immediately."
"I… that's just…" Gwen spluttered angrily. He was right, of course. She was very used to being good at everything. She was one of the smartest kids at school; when she started playing the piano, she picked it up with ease; she had a photographic memory, so she could memorize things really easily, so long as she was paying attention. Oh, there were things that she wasn't good at. She was terrible at sports of any kind, so she barely tried in gym class. If she couldn't get something right within a few tries, she abandoned the activity. And if there was someone better than her at something, she would take it as a personal offense.
Sajit smirked, somewhat triumphantly. "Exactly. You give up at the first sign of difficulty. That's your weakness."
"I am not weak!" she snapped furiously.
"Then prove it!" Sajit exclaimed. "Try again. Keep working. Clear your mind and surrender your ego. Or would you like to give up and go back to high school where everything was easy for you?"
"Shut up," she growled. "I'm not giving up."
Sajit gave a curt nod. "Good. Then let's go again. This time, let go. Surrender, Gwen."
Gwen nodded, exhaled slowly, and tried again. This time, determined to learn something new.
September 2012
There weren't many classes that Stephen and Gwen had together, but whenever they did, they always stood next to each other, hoping to learn from one another, as they always had in the past. Today, they were training with sling rings, trying to create portals from one place to another.
"The clearer the picture is in your head, the quicker the gate will form," Mordo said as he paced in front of the class.
Gwen pictured the place she knew best in her mind: her own bedroom. She could very clearly picture the posters on her wall, the bedspread, the bookshelf. All of it felt very clear in her mind. After she got the picture, she raised her hands and started to trace a circle in the air.
Nothing. Not so much as a spark. She was grinding her teeth in frustration and her hands were practically shaking when Mordo told them all to stop. The majority of the class started to disperse, but Gwen saw the Ancient One approaching the two of them Her father shook his head. "My hands," he said, holding them up. They were visibly shaking.
At least he has an excuse, Gwen thought bitterly. Her hands were not injured. The only thing that was injured was her pride. Why couldn't she get it right? Why was she struggling so much? Was there something wrong with her? She had been trying to do as Sajit had suggested, but clearly his suggestions were useless, because she hadn't progressed any farther since then.
"It's not about your hands," the Ancient One said, dismissing his claim right away. "If it were about your hands, then Guinevere would've triumphed long ago." Gwen stared at the ground moodily.
"Then what is this about?" Stephen snapped in frustration.
"Surrendering," she replied calmly. "Silencing your ego. For both of you. Only then can you achieve your full potential." She lifted her hands and drew up a portal with ease. "Come with me, Stephen." He entered the portal cautiously, not looking very eager. Gwen tried to follow. "Not you, Guinevere. Wait here. I'll be back for you."
Gwen stopped and waited in the courtyard, rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet. After a minute, the Ancient One returned, without her father, and closed the portal behind her. "Where's my dad?" Gwen asked right away.
"He's fine," the Ancient One replied airily. "Come, Guinevere." She opened another portal and invited her to step through it. Gwen cautiously did as she was told.
On the other side of the portal was a small ledge overlooking a raging river. It was raining and the ledge was slick. They were up one hundred feet in the air. Gwen sucked in a breath sharply and tried not to focus on the height. "Beautiful, isn't it?" The Ancient One asked.
"Mmhm, yeah, it's great," Gwen mumbled, trying to get as far away from the ledge as she could. "Can we go back now?"
"We're up about one hundred and ten feet now," she commented. "A fall that would surely kill anyone." She smiled and turned around, exiting the portal and closing it behind her before Gwen could even protest.
"Seriously?" Gwen said weakly. "Wow. Great. Yeah, that Ancient One, what a BITCH!" She shouted the last word in the air. Thunder boomed overhead in reply.
Gwen knew there was only one way to get out of here: the sling ring.
"Surrender," she muttered, repeating the Ancient One's words. "Silence your ego."
What did that even mean? Surrender what? How was surrendering supposed to help her control energy from another dimension? She closed her eyes and thought hard about it.
Maybe it was like driving on the highway. When driving at such high speeds, you only gently steered the wheel, rather than sharp turns. You surrendered some of the control to the car, letting it do most of the work. So, maybe performing magic was like driving a car. You didn't have to control every aspect of it, just some of it.
"Ok," Gwen breathed, lifting her shaking hands. "Ok. I'm surrendering control. And I'm picturing Kamar Taj. I'm doing both and I'm not panicking. This is good." She started to trace a circle in the air. At first, there was still no improvement, but then, just as she was getting ready to give up again, a spark formed. "HA!" she practically screamed in relief. "Haha! Yes! Ok, come on. I can do this." She traced the circle more vigorously, and slowly but surely, the portal began to form just over the edge of the ledge.
In a minute, she could clearly see the courtyard at Kamar Taj, where she had been practicing. She could see her father, the Ancient One, and Mordo all waiting for her. Her father was shouting about something. Grinning broadly, she jumped through the portal, which closed when she landed on the ground.
Stephen whipped around and his face flooded with relief. "Gwen! Are you alright? Why are you all wet?" He took her by the shoulders, shaking her a little.
"I'm fine," she said, brushing him off. For once, she was not concerned with her father's opinions or worries. She looked over at the Ancient One and nodded. The Ancient One gave a ghost of a smile and nodded back before turning around with Mordo and leaving.
Gwen was brushing out her hair, humming along with her music that was playing on her iPod. Ever since she had learned how to draw portals, she had gone back to their flat and brought back a few of her things: her iPod, some books, her comforter, and even Chris P. Bacon, her stuffed pig.
There was a knock on her door. She opened it to find her father. He looked very different. His beard was mostly gone, though he left a bit of a goatee on. His hair was trimmed and combed back neatly. She smirked at him. "Looking much better. I was beginning to wonder why my father was turning into a hippie."
He gave a snort of derision, which only made her smirk wider. "Can I come in at least before you insult me?"
In answer, she opened the door and allowed him in. He looked around while she paused her music. When she turned back around, he was holding Chris P. Bacon and smiling. She tried to act nonchalant about it. "I thought you said you lost this."
"Didn't realize it was any of your business," she said snarkily. Stephen just chuckled, letting her deflect the conversation. "So, did you come in here just to dig through my personal belongings or did you want something?"
"I wanted to apologize," he replied. Gwen blinked. She didn't realize he had anything to be sorry for. He sat on her bed and invited her to sit beside him. Gwen put her brush down and sat near him. "I know none of this has been easy on you. Me, getting in a wreck and losing my job. And you having to take over as caretaker."
"It's fine," said Gwen with a shrug.
Stephen was shaking his head. "No, it's not. Fathers should take care of daughters, not the other way around. That was a lot of burden that I put on your shoulders. And then I made it worse by chasing dream after dream, running around the world to find some miracle. I didn't even stop to think about how it would affect you. And I'm sorry."
Gwen blinked rapidly, forcing herself not to cry. She wasn't a very emotional person, but whenever she shared moments like this with her father, her emotions always ran high. "Thanks," she said quietly. Then, she rested her head on her father's shoulder. "I love you, dad."
Stephen was surprised. It was rare that Gwen ever said that out loud. He always knew, of course, that she loved him, but she kept everything so close to the chest that she hardly ever showed her true feelings. "I love you, too," he said, wrapping an arm around her shoulder, holding her close. For a minute or two, they just sat there, holding each other. Not talking, but saying everything in their silence.
Stephen took the stuffed pig and nuzzled it into her face. Gwen backed off right away, wrinkling her nose in disgust. Stephen laughed. "Stop," she muttered, a little embarrassed.
"Chris P. Bacon could use another check up," he mentioned, thinking back to her childhood. "Do you remember when you used to give all your toys check ups? You even declared that one of them had cancer."
She snorted a little at that. "Sounds like me," was her reply. "Thanks, dad."
Stephen stood up, putting the stuffed pig back on the bed. "Oh, where did the Ancient One send you?"
She grinned. "The edge of some cliff over a lake. Why? Where'd she take you?"
"Mount Everest." Gwen chuckled a little at that.
"Goodnight, dad."
"Goodnight, Gwen." He started for the door and stopped just before leaving. "Jessie would've been so proud of you. Your mother." Gwen didn't say anything for a bit and she kept her back turned. "I wish she could've lived to see this day."
Stephen didn't see it, but Gwen was blinking back tears again, trying very hard to hold it together. "Thanks," she got out. Behind her, she heard the door close.