CHAPTER 12
Boring meets Bored
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"How are the boys doing?" Jason huskily asks behind me, and I take a second to focus. I should've gotten used to his voice by now, but somehow, I'm not. I'm glad that I almost never see him, or better, talk to him, now. We usually don't even meet at VA Beach's Operations Center, at all. Lisa and I take turns at the Operations Center when the Bravo guys are training in simulated ops, and when they're not, I don't see Jason, at all.
It's been two months since Jason left Bravo Team and now works as an Operations Chief, which is pretty much what Blackburn does, but he stays in VA Beach, which is exactly what Blackburn avoids. So, Blackburn sees more action than Jason now. That's un-fucking-believable. But Jason needs to finish his two-years enlistment time, and apparently, after that, he'll go fishing all day. He never said that, but who knows. He doesn't even see the Bravo guys anymore, whom he always called his 'brothers', and even avoids talking to them, and me and Lisa, when he sees us at The Bulkhead. That's just impolite, I think. Rude as fuck. I can't believe that some of the guys, like Ray,understandwhat he's doing. The guys are too used to forgiving Jason'sfaux pas, I think. I'm a lot less forgiving.
Of course that, since Jason now has pretty much the same rank as Blackburn did a couple of years ago, before becoming Commanding Officer, any sexual relationship between Jason and I would still be considered fraternization, and therefore, illegal.
Not that it would change much of anything. I really almost never saw him during the past two months. The guys, led by Thirty Mike, that transferred from Charlie, had only a few simulated ops after the training. Before that, Lisa and I helped the CIA and other special teams gathering intel and planning other ops, at the Command Center, and when I was at the Operations Center and Jason was there too, which is, like three or four times, he barely talked to me or Blackburn, at all. He was overseeing his own special team, Echo, now. Still, he came by every few minutes just to check on Bravo Team. Because he's a meddler, and because he's obviously out of his mind bored with his new job. But that's just my opinion.
"They suck" I sincerely answer, looking at thescreen of my computer, and Jason and Blackburn stay silent behind me.
"Sorry" I correct myself, "They suck, sir".
Now Jason is actually above me in the hierarchy chain, even though I wish he was on top of me. Even with his shaved beard he remains hot. He does look older, though. But maybe that's because helost all the will and joy to live. He's even holding a grandpa mug while he roams the Ops Center, for God sake. I can't believe he thinks he's happy. If he continues like this, he'll die sooner than if he was operating. Ofboredom.
"Yeah. They do" Blackburn decides to agree with me.
"I hope this isn't Bravo's 'new normal'" I pray out loud.
But Jason remains stubborn. "Once Ray and Clay come back, everything will work smoothly". Ray is at his Warrant Officer course, for the last two months, and Clay was penalized by Lindell because he wrote a letter talking about Ambassador Marsden and blurting classified information. At least that's what Lindell thinks, of course.
Silence can be heard while Blackburn and I decide to not express our lack of hope to Jason.
Captain Lindell shows up, like he always does, out of nowhere, and reminds Jason that he's always at the Ops Center when Bravo's training.
"This is my new battlefield, sir" Jason obediently answers, and I almost vomit.
"Echo has air asset issues in Yemen. Maybe you should be checking on that before you stay here checking on Bravo. Just be sure your focus is on Echo Team" Lindell insists, with reason. I would be insanely mad if Blackburn kept checking on another team while Bravo is havingfucking air the hell. How can Jason even make a blasé face when Lindell tells him the obvious? your job, the job you gave up Bravo Team for. Come on. Jason is definitely only looks now, and even has a lot less points for looking half dead and being beardless. I do not want to fuck this guy, no more.
"Roger that. Bravo is in my rear view" Jason formally says and walks away, and I hold a gag reflex, while Blackburn quietly chuckles. Even he thought that Jason's attempt at a powerful sentence was lame.
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"You guys need to move on without Jace. We need to support his decision" Ray wisely says, but all of us pretty much disagree. We're at The Bulkhead, celebrating that Ray finally came back from his course, and Clay and Sonny are with us too. Sonny is fast at speaking his mind, which by the way, is like mine, about this subject.
"Yeah, it's just that, you know. He won't go to the shooting range, he barely hangs out with us, can't even set foot in the cages".
"Because he moved on, Sonny" Ray insists.
Sonny is on fire, and doesn't give up. "Jason can compartmentalize better than all of us, man, you know that. What he's trying to do right now is ignore and override anything that reminds him of door kicking, because every fiber of his being wants to be frog again".
Sonny basically drops the mic and leaves the table to get another drink, and I just stare at Ray and Clay next to me.
"I think he's right. I'm going crazy sitting behind a desk for two months" Clay admits, and I feel sorry for him. Lindell gave him a hard penalty for the letter about the Ambassador Marsden that Clay says he wrote. He says, because all of us know that he didn't.
I decide that I need another drink, and when I'm at the counter Jason arrives at our table. I let him talk a while with the guys so they can catch up, while I play darts with Lisa and Sonny. But then they keep flirting, so I have nothing else to do but to go back to the table with the guys.
"After seeing you being involved with Bravo for so long, it's just nice to see you all in with the next phase of your life. With Natalie and the kids" Ray tells Jason, and I walk slower so I can hear what Jason says about that. He didn't see me coming closer.
"The kids are always going to be in my life, Ray. The other thing..." Jason says, shrugging and making a'meh'expression, like saying that what he has with Natalie is not that serious, doesn't have a future. I feel a hint of joy inside of me, even though it changes nothing at all for me. And honestly, I have a hard time figuring out why I could possibly still be jealous of Jason.
I can't ignore the fact that Jason dated Natalie, even for a few weeks, before being deployed, and now they've been dating again for almost two months. And I can only imagine that he's a lot more eager with her now that he's not operating anymore, 'a lot of energy to spend', is what he probably tells her when he fucks her day and night. Yes, even though I technically don't want to fuck a half dead beardless Jason, I'm still jealous as hell, and I'm very aware of that. I just don't know why.
Truth is, I'm jealous of the old Jason, not of this new one, who looks older than the older one. Come to think about it, he's probably not even fucking Natalie that much, since he's half dead.
So, I avoid seeing Jason every time I can, and after I hear Jason talking about his'meh'relationship with Natalie, I quickly deviate my path to the counter and get me a drink there. I don't even know what I want to drink when I arrive, and the bartender is exceptionally fast to attend to me. I ask for whiskey on the rocks. Any whiskey. I'm definitely leaving early tonight. I feel someone touching my back, and it's Clay, saying goodbye. Sonny, Ray and Thirty wave goodbye at me too, and I don't understand why they're all leaving, but Sonny grumbles something about having training early in the morning. Which means, I'll have to wake up early too, but my whiskey has arrived, and it's not that cheap, so I need to drink it. I turn to look at the table and Jason is sitting alone there, surrounded by empty bottles of beer. He looks very miserable, all hunched down.
I sigh and go there, because I'm not as impolite as he is.
"So. How's life treating you?" I politely ask Jason, with a smirk. Very aware that he's suffering with his decision, but will never admit to it. I take a big sip of my whiskey, so the glass will be empty faster.
"Good. Everything is good. Peaceful" he says, not even smirking. Not even pouting. He's just dead inside and his face demonstrates it.
"That must be nice" I lie, and my sentence comes out with a slight touch of teasing.
"It is. It is" he nods, agitated.
"How's Cerb doing?" I miss him. Jason is his tutor now. Cerb is retired, but unlike Jason, he really reached his limit.
"Great" Jason's eyes finally sparkle, "He's just enjoying life, you know? Being a dog. Hiking, playing ball, running, these things".
I smirk at him, and his smile vanishes. He knows that Cerb's life is more exciting than his.
"And what about you? Any hobbies? I mean, you're not even shooting at the range anymore, and now you have a lot of free time. To live" I tell him, and now the teasing and sarcasm are very noticeable. I lean back on the chair and hold a knee up, I'm loving Jason's discomfort so far.
"Not yet. I'll find something. Natalie loves to hike, and I go with her sometimes" he says Natalie's name a lot louder than the rest of his sentence, I notice. And he's gesticulating a lot.
"How romantic" I say, still sarcastic. Can't help it. Maybe the big sips of whiskey I just had made me a tiny bit bolder. And drunker.
Jason's face shut down, and he sighs, like he's restraining his anger. I hope he implodes with it. "How about you? Huh. Anythingnewgoing on in your life? Somethingdifferentthan when you were deployed?"
Of course not, jackass. That's why you asked. Like those aunties that ask us during Thanksgiving if there is any 'new boyfriend' in my life. If there was, I would've brought him to the dinner, auntie. Fuck.
"I had a great time during my road trip" I lie. I hated it. Was boring as hell. "Met a lot of new people. I have their insta, and some of them are actually coming to town next week or the other to visit. And party" I totally lie, fuck it, he'll never find out.
He raises his eyebrows, smug. "Bring them to The Bulkhead. Would love to meet them. If they're reallythatfun" he leans slightly forward on the table.
"What for? They'll arrive after your curfew hour, Jason" I clap back, without hesitancy, leaning forward too.
"Well, the guys from your team already left, to sleep, and I'm still here. So you tell me" he gestures with his arms, to no one around him. Just me.
"Yeah. Alone. With no friends, at all" I lean forward even more, and he does that too. He seems mad at me, but I'm definitely mad at him too. Actually, I'm frustrated and disappointed.
"What are you saying? I have friends, I just don't need to hang out with them all the time. I have a life" he dangerously speaks.
I sigh, I'm bored with this new Jason. I take the last big sip of the whiskey, then dramatically put the empty glass down. The ice cubes didn't even melt yet, I drank it neat, apparently. That explains a lot.
"I'm bored. You cause that effect on people. They feel bored. So, I'll go. Good night" I formally declare, and dramatically walk away from the table. I take three steps then remember that I didn't close the tab. Damn it. I can't risk not paying and never being allowed inside again, so I dramatically turn back and ignore a very annoyed Jason close to me, and walk to the counter to pay.
"I'm not boring" Jason boringly says, boringly appearing next to me, and I hold a yawn.
"Sure" I state, bored, and turn to face him, with a bored expression.
He's looking really annoyed at me, and after a couple of seconds I notice that his face is incredibly close to mine, which is weird because he's a lot taller than me. Look at that. He's hunching and leaning on the counter, just so that he could place his face close to mine. Interesting. His body is grazing mine too, even though the bar is almost empty.
"Why are you so close?" I daringly ask, still with a bored expression. His eyes widen, and he slightly distances from me, startled by my daring statement. See, this is how it's like to not be boring, Jason. You surprise people. You should try it.
"See, this is how it's like to not be boring, Jason. Yousurprisepeople. You should try it sometime" I say before thinking. Actually I thought it first, but my brain is filled with alcohol, so it doesn't count.
"Who are you to question my decisions, huh? You changed jobs what, ten times in a decade?" he exaggerates a lot, annoyed, ready to fight with me. But I ignore him for a couple of seconds, until I pay my tab. Only then I turn to him.
"Difference is, I'm still friends with most of my former colleagues. And I was happy in all of my jobs. Can you say the same, Jason?" I daringly surprise him with my statement, once again, because his smug face shuts down and he was still registering my words when I pass by him to leave. Grazing my breasts on his ribs and arm, of course. So that he can suffer a little.
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The next morning, I wake up grumpy from my hangover and because of Jason. What a moron. I'm glad I destroyed him with my great statements. Totally dropped the mic. I'm talking to Lisa at the Ops Center while we get ready to oversee another training of Bravo Team, and I'm praying that, now that Ray is back as Bravo Two, they'll manage to get to the finish line, at least. But I'm not really keeping my hopes up.
"Ensign Faulkner" Lindell suddenly comes out of nowhere, again, and I go talk to him, "You're being requested" he says, and I look confused at Lisa and follow him. I pass by a grumpy Jason, who miraculously isn't holding a grandpa mug today.
I get into a room where a woman, obviously a CIA agent, is talking to Ray, and when I get inside she tells me that the three of us are going to Tunisia. It's Ray's first assignment as a Warrant Officer, and I'll assist them by collecting the intel and helping them build a target package. Bravo will join us as soon as we gather enough intel for an op. If they're fit to operate, of course, so they can't suck. If they continue to suck, another special team will lead the op that Ray, Agent Green and I plan.
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I'm excited to go to Tunisia, so Lisa and I join Clay and Sonny at The Bulkhead that night again. They are whining about Bravo being terrible without Jason, while Lisa and I talk about things for me to see in Tunisia, since my mission would probably last a month or so.
Natalie is there too, drinking alone, so I'm extra happy because probably she and Jason fought. Maybe broken up.
Except, no.
Jason walks into the bar, looking hotter because now he has a slight five o'clock shadow, glances at all of us, only once, then calmly sits next to Natalie, and sips whiskey while they talk to each other something emotional. I know that because Natalie keeps making weird emotional expressions, raising her eyebrows, feeling sorry for herself and for everything that Jason has ever been through, poor guy. Of course I'm just guessing, but that's probably how their relationship must be. She's there to support him, without an ounce of fun, and he's there being taken care of by her, and pretending to have fun with her and his new life.
They're sitting at the counter right in front of me, so I can read their lips a little. Jason is telling her some sad story and how he needs to let Bravo go. She pretends she cares about Bravo, and he believes it. Moron. Then he, out of nowhere, says that he can 'face the unknown' if he has someone next to him to help. I swallow. She melts, and he continues, saying something about how it would be easier for him to face the unknown if she stayed in VA Beach, and says 'he likes big conversations'. Liar. She melts even more and almost cries, exaggerated woman. Dramatic as Jason, they deserve each other. Probably her work contract with the Navy will end next month, like most contracts do, after all it's July, and he felt pressure to grow some balls and decide if he wants a future with her or not.
I applaud Jason's dumbness and stubbornness, because a day ago he was pretty much saying their relationship was 'meh'. Then again, all his life must be 'meh' now, so it fits him perfectly. Still, talk about someone easily pressured into doing stuff. Natalie says something about thinking about doing something else other than having big conversations that night, which obviously means sex. And Jason smirks, takes her hand and leaves. To have sex with Natalie. His girlfriend.
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