She couldn't believe she refused to see it. It had been right there. Right there in front of her and she wouldn't see it. Alexis knocked on her daughter's door. "Addie?" She asked as she entered. Her daughter was leaning against the wall, her knees drawn to her chest, on the window seat, staring outside, clutching the stuffed giraffe she'd had since she was a little girl. It broke her heart to see her so upset.
"Dad gone?" Addison asked as she wiped her tears and directed her attention towards her mother.
"Actually, no he's still here. He's going to stay for a bit longer. Can we talk?"
"I'm kind of talked out. Do we have to?" Addison said as she sat up, making room, crossed her legs and Alexis sat next to her.
Her daughter looked exhausted, but they needed to. She needed to know why and she needed to apologize for not seeing it sooner. "Yeah. I'd really like it if we could. I know, sweetheart, and I need to understand."
"You know?" Addison whispered.
"I put it together. Don't blame your brother, ok? He loves you and has been trying to protect your interests this entire time."
"I know he has. Owen's known since that night. He came to find me because he heard. Because Joss told him and he knew. He fought with Morgan that night before the crash."
Alexis nodded, the picture of that night coming into complete view. All of the pieces she had picked up along the way made sense. "Why wouldn't you tell me, Addison? How could you let me continue to work on his case knowing what he did to you."
"It's complicated."
"I'm so sorry, baby. I should have figured it out sooner. I should have put it together sooner. I hurt you. You couldn't come to me. You should have been able to come to me."
"You didn't hurt me, Mom. You're one of the only people who understands me right now."
"Yes, I did. I defended your attacker, Addison. He's back at school and, your worsening anxiety, your panic attacks this week are because of me. Because I put you in that situation."
"Only because I refused to tell you. I have my reasons. I had valid reasons."
"I'm your mother. It's my job to protect you."
"I'm not upset with you. Please don't be upset with me. I know I can come to you. I chose not to. It's on me."
"I'm not upset with you. I promise you, I'm not upset with you."
"Does Dad know?"
"I'm sure he's put it together by now. Yes. Can you come downstairs and talk to us both? We can think through next steps together, the three of us?" Addison nodded and Alexis hugged her before they got up and walked downstairs.
While Alexis was upstairs, Owen had filled Ned completely in. He was shocked and disappointed in their oldest and still processing everything that their three children had tried to keep from them. He asked Owen to give them time with Addison and waited for his daughter and wife in the living room.
Owen understood and went downstairs. He texted Krissy. He told her their parents knew. He was concerned about the fallout, but he was concerned about what might be going on at school in the wake of his confession and fight with Morgan. He decided to watch TV. There wasn't much else he could do without his phone or his games.
Alexis walked into the living room with Addison and sat next to Ned. Addison curled up in the chair opposite them. She was quiet. She wasn't sure what came next.
"So do you think you can tell us why? Why wouldn't you tell us this?" Alexis quietly asked.
"Was it because of what your sister did?" Ned jumped right in. Angry at Kristen for even thinking this was a good idea.
"You know about Krissy?" Addison was surprised. She thought they only knew about Morgan.
"Yeah, princess. I know, and I just don't understand how you could let her use you like that."
"I had no choice. I agreed after the fact. It made sense at the time. I had my own reasons and it was supposed to help you Daddy and now this is my fault, too."
"Addison, none of this is your fault." Ned's heart broke for his youngest daughter.
"Yes it is! It's all my fault!" Addison yelled as she stood, upset. She was tired of being told it wasn't her fault when it so clearly was.
"What do you think is your fault, baby? Tell us." Alexis encouraged her to share.
"Owen's fight. Owen's accident. He wouldn't have gotten into that crash if he wasn't looking for me."
"No, no, that was Morgan." Ned clarified.
"Exactly, Daddy. Morgan lost it and that's my fault too. I gave him those ideas. I went to that party and it was my fault."
"Addison, no, sweetheart. No, that's not true. What he did to you that night is not your fault."
"Yes it is! Everything is." Addison implored and anxiously went and stood behind the chair.
Ned was about to interject when Alexis reached out, put her hand on his thigh as they sat there. The truth had opened a floodgate and their daughter needed to get it all out. "What else?" Alexis asked, sympathetically.
"You." Addison said and let her tears fall.
"Us?" Alexis was confused.
"Yes!" Addison emphasized.
"What about us?" Ned asked, his heart breaking watching his daughter fall apart.
"It's my fault. I ruined your night. I ruined your date night. And my stupid choice is the reason Krissy could get Michael's vote in the first place. It's why you fought about ELQ. It's why she wouldn't talk to you, Mom. And it's why you're getting divorced. You're getting divorced because of me!"
"Oh, Addison. You are not the reason your father and I are getting divorced." Alexis stood and tried to approach their daughter.
Addison walked to the other side of the room, as she spoke, "Yes I am!" She turned to face her parents, "If Krissy didn't blindside you, Mom. If I didn't go to that party you wouldn't be doing this! And I tried to stop it! I tried!"
Ned watched as what Addison said impacted Alexis, and he tried to empathize, "Addison…," but their daughter kept going. He stood and went to Alexis, placed a hand on her back as she stood by the chair.
"And I knew you were fighting about Morgan and Sonny and I knew that this would tear you apart. I knew Dad would say you shouldn't have even taken the case in the first place and you would have fought even more. So that's why I couldn't tell you. Either of you."
"I would have dropped his case in a second, Addison. In a second. If I had known."
"Owen tried to tell me that. He did, but now he's suspended because of me. And you're going to lose it on Krissy. And I'm failing classes and keep disappointing you and I can't stop it. I can't stop everything from falling apart. Don't you see? How can you not see? It's all because of me. All of it. All I want is for this to never have happened and for us to be a family again. I just want my Mom and my Dad and for it to be normal. I want to feel normal again."
"You have us. You do." Alexis tried to break through, stepping closer to Addison as she continued.
"But not like we were. And I need us to be a family again. I need for this to not have happened. I was almost raped. I was assaulted and I don't know what to do to make it all stop. I don't know what to do."
Ned quickly walked towards his daughter and wrapped his arms protectively around her as she sobbed and slowly fell to the floor. Alexis tried to keep her own tears in check as she watched her daughter falling apart, finally admitting what happened to her. She sat down on the floor on the other side of her daughter. When she finally appeared to be calming down, Ned let go and Alexis reached for her and wiped the tears from her daughter's eyes. "You are going to get through this." She said quietly as she helped her stand and hugged her. She took Addison's hand and walked over to the sofa and sat down, never letting go.
Ned followed them, "Your mom and I know what to do, princess, ok? We're going to help you."
"But it's too late to go to GH. Mom wanted me to and I said no and now there's no proof. And that's my fault, too. I can't say anything now, even if I wanted to."
"Yes you can, my sweet, strong girl. Yes you can." Alexis tried to encourage supportively.
"No I can't! It's bigger than this now. No one will believe me now. It's too big. It's too late."
"Addie, You can. We believe you. The people who saw what happened that night believe you. I'll call Mac. He's a friend. He'll come to the house. You won't even have to go to the station."
"Daddy, no. I don't want to relive it anymore. It's too hard as it is."
"We need to tell the school. So you—"
"No! That's the last thing I need." Addison said and stood again.
"There needs to be some sort of plan to make sure you're safe there." Ned explained.
Alexis took her daughter's hand and she sat again continuing, "I am. I'm managing. I know which teacher to go to if I need a safe place. Please don't make it worse."
"How would this make it worse, peanut?"
"It's hard enough to see him in the hallways. In the cafeteria. The rumors are awful. If the teachers know. They'll spotlight me. They won't mean to, but they will and I can't handle that. I can't.–"
"I doubt the teachers would–" Alexis started to say.
"You don't know what this is like. You don't know what it feels like to have everyone's eyes on you! You don't get it." She emphasized and turned to her mother.
"Addison…" She said softly, little did her daughter know she did understand in more ways than one. She ran her hand through her daughter's hair as her eyes met Ned's.
"We've followed your lead the entire time. We love you and we want to help you. So many people want to help you." Ned tried to reason with her.
"I know, but please can we keep this between us. Please. I can't take being the talk of the school again. The rumors about me are so bad and it will make them worse. If it's public they'll spread like wildfire and it won't just be at school." Addison pleaded and Alexis and Ned exchanged worried glances. "Mom?"
"Ok." Alexis whispered. "For now. We'll take this one day and one person at a time."
"Daddy?"
"For now." He said looking at Alexis. He couldn't believe they were agreeing.
"Thank you. I love you so much." Addison said as she hugged her father.
"I love you, too, Addison. I'd do anything for you."
Suddenly the doorbell rang and Alexis got up to answer. She was shocked to see Cameron standing on the other side. "Cameron?"
"Hi, Mrs. Ashton, that is still what I should—"
"Cam!" Addison jumped up off the sofa and ran to the door. He stepped inside and she threw her arms around him. He reciprocated the hug. "You knew I needed to see you. How did you know?"
Ned stood and walked over to Alexis. He took in just how close his daughter was with Cameron. This wasn't just a fleeting crush.
Addison stepped back out of the hug and Cam held her hands. "Sophie told me you weren't at school and your brother got in a fight with Morgan. I wanted to make sure you were ok. I saw–"
"Wait." Addison looked between her parents. "Can we go up to my room to talk?" She wanted privacy. She had a gut feeling she knew what he saw.
"Why don't you stay down here, and we'll go in the kitchen." Ned stated. The mere idea of his daughter bringing a boy up to her room was unsettling.
"We'll go out on the porch then." She quickly grabbed her coat and walked outside with Cam.
"So are you ok?"
"I told my parents. Well more accurately, Owen did."
"And?"
"And I think I scared them. I kind of broke…"
"You didn't break. I'm certain of that. You're facing it."
"I'm trying. But they want me to go to the PCPD and after yesterday…"
"I saw the video. It's not ok. Can you untag yourself from the comments? At least you won't see it in your feed? Spare yourself that much."
"That's a good idea. I don't know how to go back there now. Now I'm the slut with an anxiety disorder."
"No one knows about that. You're making it into something it's not, Adds."
"But it's true."
"It's not true. I know you and I know you'll stand up for yourself like you did this fall. You just need time and maybe you need to tell your parents everything that's happened since. Maybe they need to know about this video. They're together?"
"My dad's here for me and Owen. It's not what it looks like."
"Sorry. Do you want me to stay?"
"It's ok. I'm glad you came. We'll see each other tomorrow like we planned?"
"We will." He hugged her. "Bye, Adds. You can handle this. I know you can."
"See you tomorrow, Cam. Text me later." She hugged him again quickly and then smiled and waved as he left her standing on the porch.
Inside, Ned looked at Alexis, "So her and Cam. What are we doing about that?" He asked as he watched his daughter from the window.
"Doing about what?" Alexis wasn't sure what he was getting at.
"You think she's ready for this after what we just witnessed? She's making herself sick she's so anxious and stressed. She doesn't need more to overthink."
"I think, today, she finally admitted what happened to her and that maybe just maybe she's starting to accept it. We want justice for her, we want her to be the confident, strong, brave girl we know she is."
"We do."
"She doesn't see that in herself right now; but Cameron Webber does and he makes her feel seen. So I think right now that's exactly what she needs. This is one area of her life she has some semblance of control. She needs this."
"You win. Ok, you win."
"I wasn't trying to win. I just want to see her happy again, Ned, and I know you do, too. You're scared for her and that's where this is coming from."
"I am." Ned said and Alexis hugged him. Her hair smelled of gardenias. He missed her. He truly missed her.
Alexis pulled away, "Can you stay for dinner? I think they both could use some time with us together, so they know we're still a family."
"I can."
"Good."
"Alexis, I hate to ask this and I promise I'm not trying to pick a fight."
"Oh, god, what?"
"What do you plan to do about Corinthos now that we know?"
"I told her I would have dropped this case if I had known and I will. There's no decision to be made about that."
"I'm sorry I doubted you."
"It's ok, given our history…I get why you'd ask."
He appreciated that she was trying. She was acting like the woman he fell in love with and he stepped towards her and took her hand again.
"What do you want to do about Kristen?" She asked him.
"I'm so furious with her."
"I'm not saying I agree with her choice. I myself want to throttle her for this, but she was trying to look out for you. So, just think about that before you do anything rash. Don't go channel Edward…"
"Point taken. I won't talk to her without you."
"Thank you." Alexis turned as Addison reentered the house. "Did you have a nice visit with Cam?"
"Yeah. Thanks for not freaking out, Dad. Are you going soon?" Addison said as Alexis tried to hide her laughter. Her daughter knew him well.
"I'm staying for dinner."
"You are?" Owen asked as he entered the room.
"I am. We're still a family and families lean on each other."
They both had to admit it had been nice to be together with their children again. It felt comfortable, normal, and they had to believe it helped both Addison and Owen see that they could act like the family they'd always be despite their separation. In spite of divorce.
"Thanks for staying." Alexis said as they walked towards the door.
"I'm glad I did. You were right. They needed this. We all needed this."
"What was that? Did you say I was right?"
"Funny." He said as he stopped and put on his coat. "Honey, before I go. There's one more thing and you might not want to hear this, but…" She just looked at him and waited for him to continue, afraid of where he was going. "Maybe you should tell her about…"
Alexis froze. "She doesn't need to carry the weight of my trauma, too."
"I saw your face when she said you don't know what it feels like…"
"Ned…"
"Just think about it. She needs to know that she can and will survive this. That she will be able to move on. Your story might–"
"Maybe that's true."
Addison came out of her room and heard her parents talking. She waited at the top of the stairs. She needed to know if they were actually on board with not telling the school. She was also curious because they were acting so normal all night it felt surreal.
"So think about it?" Alexis nodded as he continued. "And if you ever want or need to talk about it…"
"You making yourself available for a 2am heart to heart?"
"Or any of the 23 other hours…I'd still like to be that person you'd turn to…"
"Thank you." She reached for his hand and squeezed it.
His eyes met hers as he walked closer to the door. "I'll see you tomorrow when you drop her off."
"You will. Thanks again for staying. You dropped everything for them today. They're lucky to have you."
"They're our kids. I'd walk through fire for them and I know you would, too." He said as he let go of her hand.
"No question." She agreed.
"Alexis?" He asked right before he was about to leave. She gave him her attention. "They're lucky to have you, too. I know you. And I know you're doubting that right now, but you are a good mother. Believe that."
She wrapped her arms around him. He knew her. He'd always know her. He backed out of the embrace and kissed her cheek. "Bye."
"Bye."
As Addison listened she felt like maybe she had been wrong. Maybe it wasn't her silence that was needed to bring them together. Maybe it was the truth. Maybe her starting to face her truth would allow them to see theirs. She had no idea how she could go back to school, but at least all of what had happened that tore her parents apart was out in the open. The direct impacts to her family were out there.
