CHAPTER 6
[Date - REDACTED] - Department of Mysteries, [Time - REDACTED]
"Aaaand this one goes in this little spot right here…"
As gently and carefully as she could, Belinda Bellend carefully affixed the center jigsaw piece to the incomplete puzzle, clapping her hands in girlish glee as the charmed piece melded perfectly. It was a depiction of the Dali's The Persistence of Memory, one of the many items confiscated from Mundungus Fletcher some years prior as part of a sting operation targeting magicals committing acts of muggle-baiting.
While an animated puzzle could be considered relatively harmless (especially given the amount of Magi-Tech contraband confiscated from Fletcher), it was still very much a violation of the Statute of Secrecy. In most cases, the puzzle would be in the Evidence Locker of the Department of Muggle Relations and Interactions, under Number 8's direct supervision. However, the man had lost that month's Fantasy Quidditch League draft against her, and as part of her reward, Belinda had insisted on this puzzle (among other temporal-themed items) as her recompense.
Most would consider it rather 'on-the-nose' that the Director of the Time Division would desire such trinkets as a trophy, but Number 3 had always been the idiosyncratic sort.
Taking a small break from her favorite activity, Number 3 helped herself to the cornish hen pasties the DoM elf Tanner always made for her. They were shaped into the cutest little telephone boxes, a shared joke between herself, Tanner, and Number 4 - Director of the Space Division. Leaning back into her chair, the witch kicked her feet up on the table as she eagerly enjoyed her snack. Unlike most of her colleagues, she liked being on "Early Warning Duty", sitting in the small yet cozy Early Warning Office and listening to see if any of the sixty-three unique chimes hanging on the office walls sounded for any reason.
Most were rather innocuous, duplicating the warning systems of other non-DoM departments as backups.
And the sounds they made!
Chime #36 - which rang like muggle police sirens - sounded with some regularity as it monitored incidents of accidental magic in public places, alerting the Unspeakables to double-check the work of the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes.
They couldn't afford another Hugo Pepper Incident.
Chime #17 - which mimicked the crash of ocean waves - rang once a year when the Tohunga nui performed the ancient rite of waiata o te moana in reverence of the great god Māui. The muggles believed the resulting effect to be a strange weather pattern they called El Niño, capable of wreaking great havoc.
Chime #51 - which cracked like angry thunder - rumbled when a witch or wizard performed highly illegal weather magic resulting in devastating loss of life. Thankfully, that hadn't sounded since the 17th century when Ognyan Krum had unleashed gneva na perun down on a church in Widecombe-in-the-Moor to smite Patricius Parkinson for cheating him during what should have been a friendly Quidditch match. The spell - manifesting as ball lightning strikes - had hurtled through the windows and torn the roof right off, rebounding through the church and killing some poor muggles who'd taken refuge to get away from the strange and frightening storm. The act of the temperamental Storm King - among others of history past - had made such an alarm a necessity.
Though, in defense of Ognyan, Patricius had cheated.
Chime #19 - her personal favorite - sounded when a witch or wizard was matched with his or her first wand. Belinda never tired of those sweet tinkling bells in August.
Of course, other chimes were less delightful and more…nightmarish.
Chime #26 - a most infernal giggling - would alert the Unspeakables if the inhabitants of the Brain Room were in danger of rousing themselves from slumber to once more plot against the Ministry.
Charm #13 - a discordant and nigh blasphemous wailing - indicated the boundaries between Realities had been broken, allowing either the Dark Wild or Divine Wild to bleed through. The reports she had read…Belinda shuddered in spite of herself.
Chime #43 - a ghoulish gurgling noise - would activate if there were any disturbances emanating from the Blood Pond in the Forest of Dean. Said pond was normally concealed by five wards and a dozen Notice-Me-Nots and Muggle-Repelling Charms. Recent discussions had been had regarding a potential Fidelius due to…that which had attempted to emerge from it a few years' prior. Poor Number 5 - Director of Creatures - had needed an entire day of personal time off.
Chime #32 - the deep blast of a shofar horn - provided warning if the Goblin Nation decided to once more declare war on the Wizarding World.
Chime #9 - the fiendish sound of never-ending whispers - would alert the Unspeakables if someone or something came out of the Veil of Death. That had only happened once in known history, but at the current time those details were Level 13 Classified, and thus only known to Control and Saul Croaker.
The most worrisome and frightful chimes in the Early Warning Office were also the oldest and the largest. Chimes 1-7 were created by their Druid forebears, the very first Unspeakables who'd designated the then subterrane as their sanctuary in their vigil of all magicks. The Cavern of Seven Dooms served as the predecessor to the Early Warning Office, the foundation upon which the entire Department of Mysteries had been built upon.
Chime #1 - that which guarded the Stonehenge Entryway and its sister sites - never sounded, and Belinda hoped that it would never sound, even in the days beyond her death. The Stonehenge Entryway was heavily protected against disruption and sabotage by all the power that the Unspeakables could bring to bear, and that power was considerable.
Should that fail and the Old Gods of Britannia break free from their blood-soaked bonds…well…the Unspeakables knew perfectly well how to properly fill and deploy a Wicker Man.
Shaking off those unsettling thoughts, Number 3 eagerly bit into another patsy as she continued on her puzzle, happily humming a little tune.
BOOOONNNGGGG! (CUCKOO-CUCKOO!)
Belinda immediately choked on her food, emitting loud sputtering coughs as she attempted to not asphyxiate on bits of macerated cornish hen and buttery crust.
BOOOONNNGGGG! (CUCKOO-CUCKOO!)
She continued to choke, fumblingly retrieving her wand to cast Anapneo on her person.
BOOOONNNGGGG! (CUCKOO-CUCKOO!)
The witch summoned a tall glass of water to help soothe her coughs.
BOOOONNNGGGG! (CUCKOO-CUCKOO!)
"Bloody hell hold on to your horses!" Her West Yorkshire accent sounded as thick as ever in her growing panic and frustration.
With much trepidation, the witch approached the Chime #4 and scowled, waving her wand to record the exact time the Omega-level artifact had sounded and for how long. She frowned at the cuckoo-bird merrily wriggling to-and-fro on the cuckoo clock-shaped charm, an addition included by her predecessor. 'Strange man that one.'
Brandishing her wrist, Belinda tapped the charmed communication mirror (affixed like a watch) thrice, finally speaking into it when the visage of Control appeared:
"This is Number 3. Chime #4 has just sounded this day at thirty-three minutes past the hour. As this falls within my Division's purview, the Cryptohedron will be checked immediately for signs of… activity. End message."
"Message received. Report back when your investigation is complete." The Head Unspeakable ended the communication. Tapping her watch-mirror in a rhythmic series of double taps, finally speaking at the appearance of her team.
"Fam, this is a Code 11. Check the Cryptohedron for Unfurling Stage and create corresponding Status Report. Once complete, let us meet in the Astrum Crypt." The faces of Number 15, Number 21, and Number 33 nodded once before disappearing.
Exactly One Hour Later…
"This…this cannot be correct."
Number 21's expression was keenly disturbed, oscillating between staring at his parchment and gawking upwards at the ceiling.
Said ceiling was that of an illuminated sky several feet above, creating an almost protective view around the room's viewers. The soft sparkle of countless stars dusted their skin, filling the room with an alien but nonetheless beautiful pale light. An ecliptic belt created of enchanted gold mithril encircled the entirety of the ceiling's perimeter. Several arcs were housed, each about thirty degrees long. Twelve of those arcs housed constellations that many would recognize as the known zodiac. The others - well over sixty in number - housed other symbols that used to be part of the zodiac, but knowledge of them had been stricken from all records on the advent of the Statute of Secrecy. Hogwarts' Astronomy course taught around twenty of that number, with the rest strictly forbidden.
Naturally, those prohibited constellations were relegated to the Wild.
Sighing, Number 3 drew close to her favorite right-hand wizard and peered over his shoulder to read his report chart. She sighed once more. "Sorry mate, but I'm afraid the Alethiometer never lies."
21 glared upward at the talisman in question.
It was quite small, made to fit in the palm of a hand and placed directly in the center of the ceiling, a star in its own right. Its material - a deep golden color - was an amalgamation of pure mithril and orichalchum coated with Goblin gold, rendering it nigh unbreakable and impervious to most destructive magicks, with a uniquely vexing sentience that drove the Time Division quite mad.
It was quite like a clock…or rather a compass…bearing five unique hands pointing to places around the dial. A small hourglass affixed in the middle of the hands was filled with ever-swirling grains of equally golden sand. Instead of the hours or the cardinal directions around the compass there were several little pictures, each of them painted with the finest and slenderest sable brush. The pictures weren't fixed; they oft changed in seemingly random order. In fact, one of the main goals of the Time, Space, and Prophecy Divisions was to devise a useful method to ascertain how and why the symbols changed.
Its primary purpose was to measure the magical energy emitted by the stars when they traversed through space and time.
Every iteration of space through every iteration of time.
Magical scholars of the past - or perhaps poets wearing a scholar's guise - had called that magical energy 'dust', the remnants of starstuff as Fate Herself guided them on their chosen path in the space realm.
The Alethiometer was active a few times a year for other unrelated reasons, but would only create a natal chart when the Cryptohedron began its unfurling.
Or in the current case, two natal charts.
"I…I have to agree with 21 here." Number 15 looked rather perturbed as she studied her copy of the report parchment while casting askance glances at the Alethiometer, which thrummed like a slow and steady heartbeat. "It's possible we didn't cast the transcribing charm correctly. It…it shouldn't be the case that there are two candidates to utilize the Cryptohedron! …Right?"
Number 33 snorted. "Sorry 15, but we've cast the transcribing charms several times; the Alethiometer never lies. According to its results, the third-stage unfurling of the Cryptohedron has coincided with the selection of two agents who can safely utilize the Cryptohedron to avert imminent catastrophe."
"But they're only children!" Number 21 looked completely scandalized.
"Age is not a measure of ability, none know that more than us." 33 stared significantly at 21 and 15, both of whom lightly deflated. They were some of the youngest Unspeakables in the entire Department. Well, according to Control anyway.
"Well," exclaimed Belinda in an entirely unconvincingly cheery manner, "things could be worse! Just imagine, it could have been Chime #11 that went off!" Her team grimaced but didn't verbally disagree.
Still, the prospect of dealing with the ghost of the Great Gaul L'Iffrey breaking free of his Temporal Cage and attempting yet another Time Heist was an infinitely more promising prospect than…this.
Exactly Two Hours Later…
Number 17 fought the urge to fidget at the oppressive silence that hung over Control's Office which was currently occupied by Control, Saul Croaker, Number 3, and, disturbingly enough, Number 6 - Director of Prophetic Occurence and Prescient Intervention. Due to the nature of their oaths and corresponding Glamor Charms, Number 17 could only see the true identities of Saul Croaker and Control. As the department's Chief Aide, his primary responsibility centered on coordinating all operational activities for Control (Number 1) and Saul Croaker (Number 2) as they interfaced with all eleven departments within the DoM. It was a challenging task at best, but Number 17 took a lot of personal pride in his work.
Even when Number 2 got into one of his notoriously grumpy growling moods.
"Tell me this is a joke!" Saul Croaker looked completely scandalized as he reviewed the Time Division's joint reports.
Belinda rolled her eyes, making sure the man saw her reaction. "Since I'm not wearing a clown costume and have made no attempts at either joke or a punchline, no. This isn't a joke Number 2. The reports are what they are." Number 17 held back his flinch at the witch's…or wizard's quip, one of the few who could stand toe-to-toe to the Voice with practically no pushback.
"You mean to tell me the fate of the entire Wizarding World lies in the hands of two Hogwarts schoolchildren?! WHIT MADNESS IS THIS?!" Saul's Scottish brogue grew distinctly thicker in his outrage. Control cleared his throat whilst leveling a look at Number 2, who took a deep calming breath and dialed back his Tendency to Anger from its current 52% to a more palatable 29% percent. It took every bit of Belinda's strength to not roll her eyes at the man's tendency for dramatics.
Control turned to Number 6, who looked far too bored for her own good considering the seriousness of the matter at hand. Naturally, her true identity was apparent to all in the room save Number 17, who lacked the clearance credentials.
"Has there been any updates in your department?" asked Control quietly.
"None at this time. The tarot cartomancers divine some aspect of doom to the second degree, but that's more or less the standard degree of danger that exists in the average person's life. No new prophecy orbs have appeared nor has there been Fulfillment of any existing orbs within the Hall. No new tasseomancy updates either."
Saul snorted. "Indeed? Surprising, considering all the lemon and lavender tea was gone this morning." Number 6 glared in response, before turning away with a haughty sniff.
Control stared at the report imperceptibly for a few moments, before nodding once. "Very well. Number 2," he turned to Saul. "Please inform Albus Dumbledore of the update. He owes us a favor, so I am certain this will be mutually beneficial for all. Number 3," he turned to Belinda. "Please keep us apprised of any changes in the Cryptohedron as it continues to unfurl. Let us know if the Alethiometer once more…activates." Number 3 nodded once. "Number 6, please let us know if there are any changes on your end."
"It will be done, Control." She quietly sipped at her tea.
"Seventeen," the wizard perked up. "You will be accompanying me to muggle London today. We have some tasks to cover on our daily itinerary, we leave in the next half hour." He closed the report and tucked it into his inner robe pocket. "You're all dismissed."
Number 6 was the first to leave, elegantly sweeping past as she headed to her office. Number 3 did the same, making her way back to the Astrum Crypt to reconvene with her team. Saul Croaker quickly gathered his things and made his exit, grumbling under his breath:
"Two Hogwarts students. And of course, it's Fire and Earth Signs! It's always them!"
Some More Hours Later…
Seated beneath a giant bioluminescent Thaumatagoria in the ice terrarium of her best friend's plant conservatory (with said best friend's head laid in her lap as she read through that month's Quibbler), Luna happily hummed along as she completed the charmed coloring book of ancient Kemet Eurus had gifted her. Sent by her cousin Nenet - a cursebreaker for Gringotts Cairo - the completed colored-in image would self-animate, perfect for being framed. The two witchlings had been inseparable since Eurus' restoration from being Petrified.
The youngest Kolumbiko had spent her first summer weekend with Luna at the Rook, who'd finally divulged the secret of her Heliopathy ability after making her best friend swear the same Unbreakable Vow Team Mysterioso had sworn prior to viewing her memory of her mother's Imago Dei ritual.
While she trusted Eurus implicitly, her abilities were technically on the level of a classified state secret.
Popping a still-warm smore into her mouth (courtesy of Vax the house elf), Luna leaned back further into the trunk of the giant flower, basking in the alien glow of its cerulean blue petals.
Suddenly, she stiffened.
"Luna?" Eurus' tone was worried. "What's the matter?" The blonde didn't respond, just cocked her head as though she were listening to something very very far away.
"Luna…what's going on?" Her friend sat up properly, leveling a concerned look at the blonde.
The witch cocked her head further, eyes narrowing. "Did you get a dog?"
Eurus blinked at the non-sequitur. "No…I don't have any dogs. Nor have I gotten any dogs." She looked keenly worried.
"...You sure? I swear I could have heard dogs barking. Well…not barking per say, more like…baying."
"...No little moon, I don't have any dogs nor do I hear any dogs…you're scaring me."
A moment passed before Luna just shrugged it off. "Probably the wind, it's meant to be really gusty today." Eurus stared for a few moments.
"Hm…or you may be hearing…you know. We don't know too much, but it is possible given your…ability (she whispered this bit) has evolved a bit since your recent birthday, you may very well be hearing them now."
"Huh." Luna looked rather nonplussed. "I hadn't considered that, but you have a point. Though it begs the question whose… you-know-what's (she whispered this part) sounds like an overly large dog."
"Probably Ahsan's," replied Eurus, in reference to her second eldest brother and rising Fifth Year at Durmstrang. "It's a new girlfriend practically every month." She sneered as she rolled her eyes in exasperation at the older boy's incorrigible antics, causing the blonde to erupt in giggles as she nibbled on another smore.
The boy's nargles did have a uniquely lupine look to them, altogether swirling around his head like a shroud.
House Chernobog had a way of leaving its mark.
AN 1: 'Nam Oculi Tui Solum' translates to 'For Your Eyes Only', a reference to the Bond-film of the same title. I'm sure you've noticed the chapter titles (and future ones) are a somewhat clever reference to a Bond film or Sherlock Holmes novel.
AN 2: Number 3 - Belinda Bellend - is played by Jodie Whittaker in her iteration as the 13th Doctor. Her Fam, obviously, are the Doctor's three companions from the series; Tosin Cole - Number 21, Mandip Gil - Number 15, Bradley Walsh - Number 33. Number 17 is Matt Smith as the 11th Doctor, and Number 2/Saul Croaker is Peter Capaldi as the 12th Doctor. Fits with his age as Luna's granddad. I haven't decided on Number 6 yet, but we'll see soon enough!
AN 3: The reference to 'Great Gaul L'Iffrey' is my own little pun of Gallifrey, the planet of the Time Lords & Ladies.
AN 4: Ahsan Kolumbiko will become relevant in Year 4 with the Triwizard Tournament. What Luna hears relates to the upcoming temporal shenanigans, in a way we'll see soon enough.
AN 5: As mentioned, I am a major 'His Dark Materials' Fan, so of course the Alethiometer would make a cameo ;)
AN 6: Ognyan Krum's spell is a subtle reference to the very real Great Thunderstorm of Widecombe-in-the-Moor in Dartmoor, Kingdom of England on 21 October 1638, when the church of St Pancras was apparently struck by ball lightning during a severe thunderstorm, killing many parishioners. Pretty fascinating stuff