AN: Thank you to my reviewers! Your enthusiasm for this story means so much to me and I'm happy to have had some extra time to keep writing chapters for our enjoyment . I am feeling good about the foundation that has been set towards Derek and Meredith's re-connection. It is obvious that Derek is in a space where he is heavily weighing the possibility of romantically connecting with Meredith again. For Meredith, I think it's been a lot harder to gauge her feelings. Which to me, aligns a lot with her character and how I think her character would have developed had this been the actual plot of the show. I try to write this AU story as realistically as I feel. With that said, he is still Derek; her Mcdreamy and the chemistry between them has never left although it is not as explored since we needed to focus on his relationship building with his daughter.
Lastly, I wanted to share that I really enjoyed writing Carolyn and Meredith's scene. Meredith will have that level of a heart to heart with Derek at some point. I purposefully chose for their first time "talking about the past" to be short, under-explored and with both of them reluctant to go deep as I feel that just because they came back into each other's lives doesn't mean they are automatically ready to go there with something so life altering to them both. We have so much to look forward to.
Please keep your thoughts coming. Each and every review brings me so much happiness.
This chapter is getting a title, loml. If you know, you know.
"Hey." Meredith's voice pulled me from my thoughts as I stood staring at the surgery board, mentally mapping out the day.
"Peterson told me to scrub in on your laminectomy this morning," she continued, a hint of excitement in her tone.
"Good. Do you want to round on the patient? I can kick some interns off the case," I said with a grin, looking over at her.
She cocked her head to the side, clearly surprised. "Really?" she asked, clearly testing if I was serious.
"Really. Come with me." I motioned for her to follow, and she did, her footsteps light but determined beside me. We made our way toward the main entrance, the steady hum of the hospital surrounding us.
My interns were standing in formation like they'd been lined up for inspection. I smirked to myself, already knowing how this was about to play out.
"Vultures, listen up," I called out, making sure to address them all. "I want Dr. Stein and Dr. Webb to cover the pit today. Dr. Eisberg and Dr. Lee, you're in the clinic. Any questions?"
All their hands shot up at once, eager to voice whatever was on their minds. I rolled my eyes.
"What is it?" I asked.
Dr. Eisberg, always eager to challenge, piped up. "Whose scrubbing in on your laminectomy?"
"She is," I said, gesturing toward Meredith with a nod.
There was a moment of silence before Dr. Eisberg, ever the skeptic, opened her mouth again.
"But she's just a med student. That's not how this works…"
I shot her a pointed look, my voice cutting through the air like a warning. "My OR works however I want it to." I turned to Meredith, who was standing confidently at my side. "And she's scrubbing in."
Meredith's expression remained composed, but I could tell she was fighting a small grin. She glanced at the interns, their skepticism now palpable in the air.
"Who has Mr. Weiss's chart? Meredith is going to need it." I told them.
Dr. Stein rolled his eyes before handing it over.
Meredith took the chart from Dr. Stein, a small but knowing smile tugging at the corner of her lips as she looked at him. "Thanks," she said, her voice smooth but laced with an unspoken challenge.
I could see the shift in the room. The interns, already uncomfortable with the situation, were now on edge, unsure of how to handle the change in dynamic. Dr. Stein and Dr. Webb exchanged quick glances, but neither said a word. They all knew better than to argue in front of me—especially when it came to something like this.
"Alright," I said, my tone carrying the finality of a command. "Let's round and then you can all go do whatever it is you do."
Rounds finished fast with my interns annoyed and let down. I would make it up to them on another day but today, I wanted to use the time in the OR to make some progress on Meredith's and I's friendship and I wouldn't be able to do that with my gossipy interns swarming around and getting under my skin.
The patient seemed to like Meredith which was important and I walked her through the procedure so she knew what she would be observing in detail when we made it there.
The sterile hum of the OR was all around us, but I could feel Meredith beside me, I could always feel her presence when she was near. I made the first incision, my fingers expertly moving as I guided the scalpel with precision. Meredith, standing on the opposite side, watched, her focus never wavering.
"So," I said, keeping my voice low so only she could hear me. "Not a bad day for a med student huh?"
I could see her eyes crinkle in a smile even though her lips were covered by a mask. "Usually when I observe, I can't see anything going on."
I smiled at her. It was so strange and yet so right how it felt to operate with Meredith by my side. That summer we spent together, when we finally were honest about our true feelings, I pictured a life with her by my side. Knowing that we were both going to be surgeons, I dreamed of moments like this. I wanted to savor every second of her being in the OR with me. I wanted to tease her, to make her laugh, to make today be a day she never forgot. I wanted a good outcome for the patient and for her. I wanted time to stop moving.
If I allowed myself I would get lost in watching her and I was still new to solo surgeries. I had to focus. I stayed quiet for the most part, especially in the beginning of the procedure. This wasn't complicated, especially compared to a lot of other neurosurgeries I had to look forward to but it mattered no less and my oath was to my patient.
"It's a beautiful day to save lives." I heard myself say. I'd never said that before but it came easily. My surgery tech nodded and I looked up to see Meredith beaming at me. I could do this.
The hour passed quickly as I maneuvered the techniques I had learned. I spoke softly to Meredith, illustrating to her every single move I made. She asked questions. Smart questions and I was impressed. The things she was asking, I didn't even know to ask until my second to third year of residency. She was going to be incredible when it was her turn.
"You know," I said, my hands steady but the tone of my voice betraying a hint of amusement, "if you keep asking questions like that, you'll end up taking my job soon."
Meredith's eyes flickered up to mine, her expression caught between a challenge and a knowing smile. "You're not that easy to replace, Shepherd," she teased, her voice muffled by the mask, but I could hear the confidence behind it.
I couldn't suppress the grin that tugged at my lips. There was a playful edge to her that was familiar, one I hadn't realized I missed so much until now. It felt good, the banter. It felt... easy. It made the room feel smaller, warmer, even as we both worked with the utmost precision.
"Oh, I know" I replied teasingly. "Doesn't mean you can't try," I countered.
She let out a soft laugh, the sound so simple, yet so soothing. "I intend to. I plan to be the resident to beat around here, attendings will cower at my skill, in fact maybe I'll win out as head of the department over you someday."
I raised an eyebrow at her, half expecting her to back off. But instead, she leaned in closer, her eyes never leaving the surgical site, as though she was actually considering the possibility of stepping in and taking charge.
"Then we'll have a problem," I said lightly, but there was an undeniable warmth in my voice. "But we'll cross that bridge when we get there."
The rhythm of the procedure continued, but my thoughts kept wandering back to the ease with which we worked together. Maybe it was the years of history between us, the deep connection we shared, but there was a momentary sense of comfort that made me wish for a lot more than what we had.
I was close to the end. Nearing the final incision to finish the procedure, and my attention was drawn back to her. She was so present, so engaged.
"So," I said, "you're not keeping your options open program wise? It's Seattle Grace? Because if you want to-"
"It's Seattle Grace" she told me with finality, her voice quieter now. "I rely too much on my dad and Susan"
I nodded. I wanted to tell her that it didn't have to be. That I would go wherever she wanted and that I would own my half of the responsibility with our daughter if she wanted out of here. I would go anywhere for her. I owed her that much.
She looked self consciously around the room. I picked up on the fact that maybe she didn't want to talk about our child in front of strangers. I knew how the gossip mill here worked and I understood completely.
The unspoken weight of the conversation sat in the air, but it didn't feel as heavy as it usually did. Instead, there was an unspoken understanding between us, like we knew exactly what each other was thinking.
I nodded, focusing back on the patient, finishing up the surgery as quickly and cleanly as I could. I could feel Meredith's gaze on me. For some reason, I knew exactly what she was thinking. She was thinking back to our summer, back to us talking about these days that we were currently living. Ofcourse, we pictured it so differently. Maybe in another universe it played out exactly like we dreamed.
The surgery was a success and I gave the nurses instructions. Meredith and I scrubbed out.
"People here are nosy about my personal life. I just didn't want anything more said about Mia." Meredith told me.
I nodded. "I get that but we can talk about it if you want. If you want to explore options outside of Seattle Grace. Applications haven't opened yet right?"
"I'm staying here. This is Mia's home." Meredith told me.
I nodded "You know I accepted the fellowship here. I haven't signed paperwork yet but I verbally accepted."
"Is that what you were planning to do all along or…"
"Honestly? I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. I was considering moving back home. I thought maybe I could finally do it."
Meredith nodded. It was quiet between us as we washed our hands.
"Well, thanks for letting me scrub in. It was…amazing."
"It was," I agreed with a grin.
"Oh and I forgot to tell you. My dad and Susan are taking Mia to the beach for a few days. They're leaving Wednesday and will come back Sunday night. Her pre-school is closed for a few days for the summer and they figured it was a good time to get away."
"That'll be fun for her."
"I think so"
"I'd like to see her before they go." Derek told me.
"Of course. We can figure something out."
"Okay, see you around then?" I asked her as I saw my interns coming in to bother me about something.
"See you," she replied, glancing back briefly before stepping told me and made her way out of the scrub room. I couldn't help but watch her go.
Today felt like progress.
The rest of my week was an unrelenting blur. Surgeries stacked on top of surgeries, each more critical than the last. Midweek, a train derailment sent shockwaves through the hospital—over sixty victims, all routed to Seattle Grace. The halls became a battlefield. Interns were thrust into roles far beyond their experience, performing procedures they'd only seen in textbooks. Med students ran from one lab to the next, sweat beading on their foreheads as they tried to keep up. It was chaos.
There wasn't time to breathe, let alone think. Every head injury that came through was more severe than the last—hematomas, skull fractures, brain contusions. I moved from one OR to the next, barely taking a moment to scrub out before scrubbing back in. My hands ached, my shoulders were tight, and exhaustion weighed on me like lead, but the adrenaline kept me moving. It had to.
By Friday, the storm finally began to calm. The halls of the ER were no longer overflowing, and the surgical board wasn't covered edge to edge with critical cases. But the toll of the week was etched into all of us.
Mark caught up with me outside the OR, looking as haggard as I felt. His scrub cap was askew, his eyes bloodshot, and his usual cocky demeanor was replaced with the weary look of someone who'd just survived a war.
"Shep—Joe's tonight?" he asked, his voice rough.
I leaned against the wall, letting out a long exhale. I probably looked just as bad as he did—scrubs wrinkled, hair disheveled, a shadow of stubble across my jaw. My body screamed for rest, but the idea of sitting in silence was somehow worse.
"Yeah," I said finally, nodding.
Mark cracked the smallest of grins, the kind that said he knew exactly how drained I was but also knew we needed this. "I'll tell the others," he said, already heading toward the elevators.
The rest of our group. The people I had been interns with. Good friends that I would miss when they all dispersed to different programs next year.
It had been awhile since I had a night like this. Most of my free time is spent with my daughter now, not that I was complaining but drinks and no responsibility sounded good after a week like this one.
I turned to head toward the lounge when I saw Meredith at the nurse's station, flipping through a chart. She looked as exhausted as I felt, her hair pulled back loosely, a few stray strands framing her face. Her scrubs were rumpled, and there was a faint smudge of something on her sleeve—likely from the endless stream of patients we'd all dealt with.
"Hey," I said as I approached, my voice softer than usual.
She glanced up, her tired eyes meeting mine. Despite everything, she managed a small smile. "Hey. Long week."
"That's putting it mildly," I said with a dry chuckle. "You don't usually work Fridays," I told her.
"You know my schedule?" she asked with a raised brow.
I smiled, caught but not minding it. "Maybe," I said lightly, shrugging.
"It was all hands on deck, even med students" she supplied. I nodded.
"Figured as much," I said, leaning casually against the counter. I hesitated for a moment, weighing my words before deciding to go for it. "A few of us are heading to Joe's tonight. You should come."
She blinked, clearly surprised by the invitation. "Joe's?"
"Yeah," I said, nodding toward the door as if she didn't already know where it was. "It's a bar right across the street. The whole hospital will probably be there tonight."
Meredith hesitated, the smallest frown creasing her forehead. "I don't know. I—"
"It's just a drink or two," I cut in, keeping my tone casual but with enough encouragement to nudge her. "Or three, depending on how bad your week was. No pressure, but..." I gestured toward her scrubs with a teasing look. "You look like you could use it."
She gave me a pointed look, half skeptical, half amused. "You're telling me I look terrible, aren't you?"
"I'm saying you've earned a break," I corrected, my voice light but sincere.
She studied me for a moment, as if trying to decide whether or not to take me seriously. Then she nodded. "Okay. Joe's sounds good."
"Good," I said, feeling a small flicker of satisfaction. "Mark's already rallying the troops, so we'll see you there."
Meredith's smile widened just enough to remind me why I'd asked her in the first place. Even in the middle of chaos, she had this way of grounding me, of making things feel simpler.
"See you there," she said, turning back to the chart. Then, almost as an afterthought, she added, "And I'm bringing Lexie. She kind of has a thing for Mark. It's annoying."
I raised an eyebrow, equal parts curious and amused. "Really?"
She shrugged, her expression resigned. "It's impossible not to notice."
I chuckled, watching as she returned her focus to the chart. "Bye, Derek," she told me
"Bye, Meredith," I replied, still smiling as I walked away.
I was nursing my second single malt scotch when I saw her walk in. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't been watching the door for the past forty-five minutes hoping she'd show. Meredith entered with Lexie, her laughter ringing out over the roar of the bar. Her hair, which had been pulled back in the chaos of the hospital earlier, was now down, cascading over her shoulders in loose waves. She didn't see me right away, which gave me a moment to watch her—watch the way she moved, the way her presence seemed to pull the air in her direction.
They made their way to the bar, Lexie glancing around nervously although she didn't see me. Maybe she was looking for Mark. Meredith leaned casually against the counter. I couldn't help the grin that tugged at my lips as I watched her order. When Joe handed her a shot of tequila, she knocked it back with ease, like muscle memory.
I almost laughed out loud. Of course. Some things didn't change.
She ordered another shot without hesitation, her fingers drumming lightly on the counter as she waited. Then her gaze shifted, scanning the room before it landed on me.
Our eyes locked, and for a moment, the noise around us disappeared. There was something electric in the air between us, something that had always been there but felt sharper now, more charged. She raised an eyebrow, her expression unreadable but clearly aware of my attention.
I took that as my cue.
Sliding off the barstool, I made my way over, my drink in hand. When I stopped beside her, she turned slightly, leaning one elbow on the bar.
"Shot of tequila, huh?" I said, my tone deliberately teasing, though there was an edge to it. "Some things never change."
Her lips curved into a sly smile, but her eyes—those sharp, unflinching eyes—met mine head-on. "No," she replied, her voice light but her gaze challenging. "Some things don't."
The corner of my mouth twitched. "And others do," I countered, letting the weight of my words linger.
She nodded, a slow, deliberate movement, and lifted her second shot. Her fingers wrapped around the glass, her nails lightly tapping the side. For a second, I thought she might say something, but instead, she brought the tequila to her lips and tipped it back, her throat moving as she swallowed.
The sight of it—the casual confidence, the way she didn't break eye contact even as she set the glass down—was maddening.
"Still your drink of choice?" I asked, leaning closer, close enough to catch the faint trace of lavender.
"Still does the trick," she said, her voice dropping just slightly, as if the words were meant only for me.
I leaned against the bar, matching her posture, our proximity enough to make the air between us feel warmer, heavier. "Feeling better now?"
She laughed softly, the sound low and rich. "Maybe a little"
Before I could respond, Joe slid another tequila toward her. She must have told him to keep them coming. She glanced at it, then at me, her lips curving into a smirk. "You should take this one," she told me, gesturing to the tequila shot on the table.
I raised an eyebrow. "I haven't had tequila… in forever"
"So you're out of practice?" Her voice was smooth, teasing, but there was something beneath it, something unspoken but unmistakable.
The corner of my mouth lifted into a slow grin. "You could say that"
She tilted her head, her hair falling over one shoulder as she picked up the shot glass. "Well, I deserve this anyways"
"I'll join you. I've missed tequila" I told her while watching her eyes dance. I didn't miss tequila, just the woman drinking it.
I flagged Joe down, nodding for a tequila of my own. As he poured, I couldn't help but watch her, the way she leaned against the bar, completely at ease and yet entirely in control of the moment.
When the glass was in my hand, I raised it, my eyes never leaving hers. "To things that don't change," I said, my voice low, the words heavy with meaning.
She clinked her glass against mine, her gaze steady and sharp. "And to the ones that do," she replied.
We drank in unison, the tequila burning in the best way possible. When the glasses hit the bar, her lips parted slightly, and for a moment, I thought about closing the distance between us. Must be due to the haziness of the alcohol as I know it wouldn't be appropriate and probably not appreciated.
But then she smirked, that same knowing, maddening smirk, and turned back toward Lexie.
"Hi," Lexie said. In that whole interaction I didn't even think to address Lexi. My eyes were so focussed on Meredith.
"Hi Lexie, Mark's at the table with some of our friends. I'll introduce you guys" I gestured to them both. I was back to reality.
Lexie lit up, clearly eager. "Really? That'd be great!" she said, already moving to grab her drink. It was a beer. I needed to switch to that fast.
I guided them to the back corner of the bar, where Mark sat sprawled across a booth like he owned the place. Robb, Leah, Shane, and Bobbi were clustered around him, deep in conversation and laughter. Shane and Bobbi were seated close, her hand resting lightly on his arm. Leah spotted us first, her expression shifting when her eyes landed on Meredith. It wasn't hostile, but it wasn't exactly warm either and I figured maybe I should have thought this one through.
"Hey, look who decided to show!" Mark announced loudly, his grin widening as he spotted me.
His eyes flicked to Meredith, then Lexie, and something mischievous sparked in his expression. "And he brought reinforcements."
"Mark," Meredith said, her tone dry but not unfriendly.
He patted the seat next to him. "Sit down, Grey Sisters. You're among friends."
Lexie slid in without hesitation, looking like she'd just stumbled into the cool kids' table at lunch. Meredith hesitated for a beat before taking the seat next to her. I ended up on the edge of the booth, directly across from Meredith.
Shane glanced up from his drink, flashing a polite smile at the newcomers. "Hi, I'm Shane, and this is Bobbi and that's Robb," he said, nodding toward the woman beside him and the guy across the table.
"Lexie" I heard Meredith's kid sister say with enthusiasm.
"Meredith," came the calmer, more measured introduction from her sister.
"And this is Leah," Mark added, his tone just a little too knowing as his eyes flicked between Leah and Meredith. He was loving this.
"Hi," Leah said, her smile tight as her gaze landed on Meredith.
Meredith, to her credit, didn't flinch. She met Leah's look with an easy confidence, her expression giving nothing away.
"So," Mark said, leaning back with a grin, "what brings you ladies to Joe's tonight? Did Derek finally invite you, or are you just stalking him for surgeries?"
Meredith smirked. "Wouldn't you like to know?"
The table laughed, but Leah's chuckle was noticeably absent. I caught the way her eyes flicked toward me before she picked up her drink.
As the banter flowed, I found my gaze straying to Meredith more than I meant to. She was relaxed but sharp, her laughter easy and her retorts quicker. She was holding her own without even trying, and I wasn't the only one who noticed.
Leah, sipping her drink, was watching too, her eyes narrowed just slightly.
"You're quiet tonight," Leah said, her voice cutting through the noise as she looked at me.
"I'm just enjoying the company," I replied, keeping my tone neutral.
Leah leaned back in her seat, her drink swirling lazily in her hand. Her gaze remained fixed on me, her expression a mix of curiosity and something sharper, harder to define.
"You've been distant lately," she said casually.
I glanced at her, careful to keep my voice even. "A lot's been going on."
Leah tilted her head, her lips curling into a faint, knowing smile. "I can imagine. You've had your hands full, right?"
I felt Meredith's eyes on me from across the table. She didn't say anything, but the weight of her gaze was impossible to ignore.
"Yeah," I replied quickly. I wanted to change the subject.
Leah took a slow sip of her drink, her eyes never leaving mine. "You could've called," she said softly, her words meant for me but loud enough for the table to catch.
I hesitated, feeling the tension tighten around us like a net. "I should've," I admitted. "That's on me. We haven't really hung out like we used to lately."
Her eyebrows lifted slightly "No we haven't. What's up with that?"
I smiled faintly, letting the moment linger without answering.
When I glanced across the table, Meredith was watching us, her expression unreadable but her focus sharp.
Her fingers traced the rim of her glass, her movements slow and deliberate. She wasn't leaning in or making a scene, but I knew she was listening.
"So," Leah said, breaking the brief lull, "what's been keeping you so busy?"
Before I could answer, Meredith's voice cut through the noise, calm but pointed.
"Probably the whole discovering-he-has-a-daughter thing," she said, her words landing like a perfectly aimed dart.
The table fell silent for a beat, the weight of her statement crashing into the space like a tidal wave. Leah blinked, clearly thrown at the direct-ness. I was sure this wasn't news to her or anyone else at the table.
"I… yeah," Leah stammered, recovering quickly. "That would do it."
Mark let out a low whistle and the loudest laugh. "Meredith you're killing me" he said, clearly drunk.
Meredith's lips curved into a small, sharp smile.
Leah's gaze flicked between Meredith and me, her expression unreadable for a moment. Then she leaned back, taking another long sip of her drink. "Guess that explains a lot," she said lightly, though her tone didn't quite match the words.
"More than you know," Meredith replied smoothly, her eyes meeting Leah's with the kind of cool confidence that could either disarm or dismantle.
I cleared my throat, shifting in my seat. "Alright, Mark," I said, steering the conversation before it could veer further off course. "What's this big case you were bragging about earlier?"
Mark, ever the opportunist, launched into a story about a particularly challenging surgery, his voice loud and animated as he took the spotlight. The table's attention shifted, but I couldn't shake the tension between Leah and Meredith.
As the others laughed and chimed in, I felt Meredith's gaze on me again. When I finally looked up, our eyes met, and there was something in her expression—something knowing, almost amused.
Leah, meanwhile, leaned in closer, her voice low enough that only I could hear. "So, Meredith Grey," she said, her tone neutral but her eyes searching. "That's… complicated, huh?"
I didn't answer right away, my gaze drifting to Meredith across the table. She was paying attention to Lexi paying attention to Mark. "Yeah," I said finally, my voice soft but steady. "It is."
Leah leaned in slightly, her drink resting on the table as she lowered her voice just enough to make the question feel pointed.
"How complicated are we talking here?" she asked.
Across the table, Meredith paused mid-conversation with Lexie, her fingers stilling against the rim of her glass. Her head tilted ever so slightly, a subtle movement that told me she was listening.
I exhaled slowly, keeping my expression neutral. "Complicated enough," I replied, hoping the vagueness would be enough to move things along.
Leah didn't bite. She leaned back, her lips curling into a faint, incredulous smile. "Come on, Derek. We're friends. Good Friends. What's the deal? Exes co-parenting? Friendly exes? Something in between?"
The air at the table shifted slightly, the kind of subtle shift that happens when people pretend not to notice but are absolutely tuned in. Even Mark, mid-story, faltered for a second before picking back up, his voice slightly louder than before.
Meredith's gaze flicked to Leah, then to me, her expression a careful mask of calm. She took a sip of her drink, her movements deliberate, and I knew she wasn't going to jump in. Not yet. For a moment, I could still read her.
"It's new," I said finally, choosing my words with care. "Still figuring things out."
Leah raised an eyebrow. "Figuring out how to be in each other's lives, or figuring out if you're still in love with one another or whatever?"
The question hung in the air, heavier than I would've liked. I choked. I couldn't say the latter, not with Meredith watching me like that.
Meredith's laugh cut through the tension, low and rich, but with just enough of an edge to make it clear she wasn't amused. "He's figuring out how to be a dad" she said smoothly, her voice calm but carrying an unmistakable bite. "That's the priority, isn't it, Derek?"
I met Meredith's eyes, and there it was—that spark of challenge, sharp and unwavering. She wasn't wrong, but the way she said it felt like a gauntlet thrown.
"Exactly," I said, my tone steady. "Our daughter comes first."
Leah glanced between us, her expression tightening just slightly. "Of course," she said lightly, though the undertone suggested she wasn't entirely convinced.
Mark, sensing the charged atmosphere, jumped in with a dramatic groan. "Can we not turn this into a therapy session? Leah, stop interrogating the guy. Derek, stop being so cryptic. And Meredith—" He pointed a finger at her with mock sternness. "Stop being so... Meredith."
Meredith's lips twitched into a smirk. "I'll try, Mark."
The tension broke slightly as the group chuckled, but Leah's gaze lingered on me for a moment longer before she picked up her drink again.
As the conversation shifted back to safer territory, I caught Meredith watching me out of the corner of my eye. When I turned to meet her gaze, she gave me a look—part warning, part amusement—that said she knew exactly how that exchange had played out and was waiting to see how I'd handle the fallout.
Many more drinks were had. Lots of laughs. Joking. Meredith even opened up and told a story of one of our escapades of hating one another so badly my mom had to separate us at my oldest sister's wedding. Mark chimed in about how awful Meredith and I used to be to each other. My friends loved the stories but I didn't love the thought of my new life merging with my old life, especially with the greatest piece of my old life sitting right there. It was the harshest reminder of everything I threw away.
Meredith was drunk though and the memories touched her differently. She had the ability to sit and laugh about it all because to her she let it go so long ago. On the other hand, I never let her go. I didn't want that piece of my life to be over, to be the past but it was.
As the evening winded down, Lexie decided she would be going home with Mark and Meredith seemed too drunk to care. Lexie was an adult and they seemed to like each other.
"She's my ride" Meredith slurred to me after Lexi's admission. She leaned her head close to my shoulder almost like she wanted to lie there and I wouldn't have minded one bit.
My friend group had started to head home. Leah hovered. I was annoyingly sober.
"I'll take you home" I murmured to Meredith quietly. She leaned so close to me, I closed my eyes for a second to just breathe her in.
"I'll see you later." I said to Leah pointedly.
She nodded. "Oh ok, bye then." she told me. I nodded at her goodbye before leaving with Meredith in tow. I felt Leah's eyes on us. I didn't care though.
"Derek, tonight. Tonight was really fun. I haven't done that in so long. So, so long. I mean that's hilarious isn't it? I'm in college and I can't remember the last time I had a drunken night at a bar." Meredith slurred as I walked to her to my car.
"You're in med school and you're a good mom. It doesn't allow you much time for this." I told her opening the door and making sure she got into my passenger seat.
"You have nights like this though? Don't you? Nights to just be irresponsible and stupid and drunk"
I smiled down at her "I don't do this too often anymore, Mer"
I got in the car and started to see Meredith grinning at me.
"Let's drive, Derek" she told me with a giggle and I couldn't help but grin at her.
She stared out the window for most of the drive and I had to stop myself from looking over at her. I was dying to know what was going through her head.
When I pulled up to the Grey household, I got out of my car and moved to the passenger side to let Meredith out.
"This is nice. You're nice. I forgot how nice you are." she told me as she took my hand.
"I think that's just the tequila talking."
"True" she acknowledged. We both knew how cruel I was capable of being, not that I wanted to remind myself.
"You know, I used to think about this. About you. About what it'd be like if we ran into each other again. If you'd still... if we'd still... you know."
"Still what?" I asked as I opened the door to the Grey's house. I wasn't planning to come inside but the topic got interesting and Meredith and I were long overdue for this.
"Still feel like this." Meredith told me quietly, looking into my eyes. I stared back into those green orbs that haunted me. I opened my mouth to say something but she continued.
"But then I remember what you did and our daughter and I just-" she dropped off.
"You just what?" I hung onto every word out of that perfect mouth.
She shook her head and took a seat on the couch. She was much less drunk now, she had come down but I could tell she still wasn't completely sober.
"Susan and my dad have wine. Do you want some wine, Derek?" she asked
I nodded moving to their bar cart they had set up in the living room. I opened a bottle of red and poured her a glass then poured one for myself.
I sat beside her, drinking the warm red liquid and closed my eyes as I felt it move through my body. She almost did the same, completely lost in her own world.
"It's good," I said, breaking the silence and went to pour another glass.
She opened her phone. "Susan texted me pictures of Mia at the beach," she told me. She was grinning and turned the phone to me.
Mia was laughing in the photos decked out in pink of course. Meredith shared her phone and I couldn't help but marvel at every single one.
"She looks just like you in that one," Meredith told me softly. It was a close up. Mia's bright blue eyes were shining and she was grinning.
"I know every parent thinks their kid is perfect, but she actually is." I told Meredith
"She is," Meredith said with a small smile, putting her phone away.
A silence engulfed us and Meredith looked lost in thought.
"Why'd you leave me?" she asked at last, her words slightly slurred but her tone sharp. "What was going through your mind that the right thing was to end everything and just never speak to me again?"
I froze, caught off guard. "I don't know. I… I try to understand myself and my decisions all the time. If I could change it—if I could go back—"
"But we can't," she cut me off, her voice rising. "We can't go back, Derek. We're stuck there. Like ghosts. Just stuck-"
I swallowed hard, my voice low. "I was a coward"
She laughed bitterly, the sound sharp and cutting. "I was supposed to be your wife" her voice cracked on the last word.
It all came back as it always did. That night. The ring. The engagement sex. The hope. The 'didn't we almost have it all'.
"I know. Do you think I don't remember? Do you think I don't think about it every day of my life?" I would give anything to have never left you." I told her honestly. My voice rising unexpectedly.
I continued "But I wasn't okay, Meredith. I was a mess. Losing Amelia… it broke me down to nothing. And staying, being with you, that possibility ended the day she died."
"But why? Why Derek? Why?" she asked angrily.
"It just did. I can't - something inside of me fundamentally broke Meredith. I should have been the one to die in that accident. I was the one driving. I- it should have been me."
Meredith watched me with tears in her eyes. She was shaking her head trying to grasp.
"And I was a terrible brother to her. She asked us not to be together and then when I did it anyway, I just kept pushing her away. I didn't try to understand her side. I was just so damn selfish."
"And what? You regret that now?" Meredith asked.
"How could you ask me that? Of course I don't regret being with you. We have Mia."
"But if we didn't? If I just ended up just being some summer fling not the mother of your child, then you'd regret us? Regret that summer?"
"You were never just some summer fling Meredith. You were the love of my life and the loss of it. I don't see how you don't see that." I told her sharply. I was exasperated and the wine was starting to taste like blood in my mouth.
"I don't see how you could expect me to after everything you did." she told me softly, quietly.
"I know I hurt you," I said quietly, my gaze finally meeting hers. "I know I made the wrong choice."
"You think?" she shot back, her words dripping with sarcasm. "I was drowning, Derek. I needed you, and you weren't there. You left and I had to have our baby all by myself." She was breaking down into tears.
"That's not entirely on me."
"Yes, yes it is Derek. It is entirely on you. You made me promise you to stay away. To never find you. To never look for you."
"Fuck the promise Meredith! She is bigger than some stupid words I said days after mourning the death of my sister."
"I was mourning a sister too and I didn't say those things to you."
I ran my hands through my hair. I knew eventually we would have this fight.
"We're different people and you weren't in that car. You didn't - God, I know I was wrong. I know that I failed you and us - but then and there in that moment of time, I didn't see anything other than what I did. I couldn't face the truth." I told her. I was out of excuses. I didn't know what else to say.
Her eyes flashed with a hint of madness. Her chest heaved as she stood and steadied herself by leaning on the bar cart.
"And what's the truth?" Meredith asked me. Her eyes blazed.
"That Amelia was dead. Is dead. And a part of me died that day too and I didn't know how to love you or anything anymore."
"And what's with that woman tonight? Do you love her?" Meredith asked indignantly.
"No" I admitted honestly. Easily. Not even close.
She scoffed, "It didn't seem that way to me." she told me with her arms crossed.
"That's what it is. Years ago, in my residency program, I dated her casually. She wanted more and I didn't and it never went anywhere."
Meredith seemed unconvinced.
"Do you think she means anything to me? Do you really think any woman could ever mean anything to me after you? I loved you. I love you. I made a baby with you. Do you really think anyone else can replace what we had? I am so fucked Meredith because you'll never let me in again. You'll never forgive me and I will spend the rest of my life loving you and wanting you anyways. There will never be anyone else."
Meredith's eyes filled with tears and I quickly stood up. I took her face in my hands. My tears mirrored hers. I looked into those beautiful green irises I fantasized about since the end.
"I am so sorry and I will spend the rest of my life being sorry" I told her softly.
"I know that," she told me angrily.
With her face in my hands, I looked deeply into her eyes. It was like I could read every thought going on in her mind and she was finally letting her guard down.
I closed the distance between us.
The kiss wasn't planned—it wasn't even thought through. It was instinct, pure and raw, as if the years of distance and pain had built a dam that finally broke. My hands cupped her face, trembling slightly as I tilted her head toward me. Her breath hitched, warm and laced with the wine, before my lips brushed against hers.
The contact was electric—gentle at first, like testing the edge of something sacred. Her lips were soft, hesitant, and then… something shifted. A spark ignited. The kiss deepened, and it wasn't careful anymore. It was desperate, a collision of everything we'd been holding back. Her hands gripped the front of my shirt, pulling me closer, as though anchoring herself to me, even if just for this fleeting moment.
I felt her respond, her lips parting slightly, her body leaning into mine. The taste of her was intoxicating—wine, and something uniquely Meredith. It was like a memory brought to life, familiar and new all at a moment, it felt like time folded in on itself. All the fights, the years apart, the mistakes—none of it mattered. It was just her. Just us. The world could have burned down around us, and I wouldn't have noticed.
Then she pulled back, her breathing ragged, her lips slightly swollen. Her eyes searched mine, filled with confusion, longing, and the weight of everything we said and everything we hadn't and in an instant she pulled me back to her.
TBC….
AN: Okay, so this was not where I was going with this but it wrote itself. It's Meredith and Derek. They want to be together. This doesn't mean anything yet… there is still complexities at play. What do you think? Do you think they take advantage of having the house to themselves or do you think it ends at just a kiss? Leave me a review and let me know your thoughts on this chapter.