--~*~--

A Week Later

No one had heard from CJ all week. She hadn't called John to schedule a date nor had she called her best friend. Saturday Donna went over to her apartment letting herself in since she had a backup key.

"CJ? CJ?", Donna called out.

"Yeah? What are you doing here? Everything okay?", she asked coming out the bedroom going towards the kitchen to put some water on for tea.

"What am I doing here? You didn't go to work all week and you didn't make a date with John. He asked Josh about you. And I haven't heard from you."

"Yeah", she replied nonchalantly.

"Yeah?, CJ we talk almost every day more than my own blood sister! Tell me what's going on!"

"Danny and I had a huge fight Saturday after my date with John."

"Let me guess he didn't like the idea if abstaining?"

"No and I made the mistake of mentioning it was John's idea", she paused, "he accused me if having sex with John. He said it's not like we didn't on our first date. I mean God Donna, am I that much of a whore?"

"CeeJay-"

"We couldn't even make it a week", she added in a small voice.

"Oh Honey", she walked over and wrapped her arms around CJ who wept on her shoulder. "Go sit. I'll finish the tea."

She and CJ talked and laughed for almost two hours. By the end CJ felt ten times better.

"So why didn't you call John?"

"I think I need some time without anyone."

"I disagree. You went without anyone for a while and you ran back to Danny because you were lonely. I think you should go out with John but take it slow."

"We'll see."

"I have to go. Josh and I are going over to some friends. You know party wife stuff."

"Good Luck", CJ said with a smile while escorting her to the door.

"Don't ever disappear like that and not call me", Donna said hugging her.

"I'm sorry. I love you have fun."

"Yeah right, I love you too."

After she left CJ, per Donnas suggestion, she took a shower and felt much better.

--~*~--

Later that evening, there was a knock on her door. Having no idea who it was she threw on a robe and made her way to the door. Opening she found John with holding a bag of charcoal and his sons carrying grocery bags.

"Um hi, this is a surprise", she said pulling her robe tigther around herself feeling suddenly underdressed. "What's all this?"

"I offered a bbq you countered with a date and then nothing so we are bringing the barbecue to you", he replied walking past her into the apartment with the boys following him to her kitchen.

"When he gets like this you should just go with it", a thirteen year old Cody told her smiling as he walked by.

CJ, still in shock as to what just happened closed her door, followed them into her now commandeered kitchen and requested to speak with John in the other room.

"John first I'm sorry about not calling you I had a rough week and I really just want to take a step back from-"

John grabbed her kissing her thoroughly to stop her from talking. Once she relaxed into it the kiss was everything and more than she could ever want or expected. She felt weightless in his muscular arms and when they broke apart CJ stared into his beautiful brown eyes where she was comforted by the vitality and assurance she found with in. She trusted him.

"I don't have a grill."

John laughed wholeheartedly and said, "We have one on the truck."

With the first round of meat on the boys stepped out to play a little touch football on the beautiful spring day while CJ and John sat on her balcony watching.

"Why did you do this?", she wondered.

"I like you but Donna called me and told me that you could use some cheering up."

"We had a huge fight, the idea of abstaining didn't go over well. He said you were trying to get in my pants", looking at John she asked, "Are you?"

"If you want me to lie-"

"No the truth always."

"Yes I do want to make love to you but I want more than that and so do you. So that you know what my intentions are I'll tell you, I want to court you, if you accept marry you, immediately impregnate you, and grow old with you all the while loving you. I'm forty three turning forty four this year this is it. I don't have time for games there is no midlife crisis. I care about my family and career in that order and more often then not those two switch. That's why I came today with my sons. No BS. This is me. If you don't want to try at this or you still want to step back that's fine", he reached for her hand, "just let me know."

"No, I don't want to step back but this", she gestured to the grill and the boys, "is a bit intimidating and overwhelming. I don't want to give your sons false hope. I mean I like you and that kiss was...", she trailed off smiling remembering how wonderful it felt to be in his arms, "...well it was nice", she said smiling coyly, "but I don't want to move too fast. I think that was one of my many mistakes with Danny. We married only after a few months of dating. What I'm saying is I want to get to know you so the same deal that I was going to do with Danny will be with you."

"How do you mean?"

"I don't want to make love with you for a least three months. During which time we spend as much time as we can with each another getting to know the other."

"I can do that. Can this be week two? Since last week was technically-"

CJ fell into a full blown laugh, "Yes so eleven more weeks to go."

"Then I'll work on something special for us because unless you turn out to be a horrible person and I was completely wrong about you, which I don't think I am, in eleven weeks we will be making the sweetest most fantastic love you have ever had."

"That's a mighty bold statement", she said willing her body temperature back to normal. "I think I mentioned my ex was pretty damn good at it."

"Well I like to think I am great in bed Ms Cregg."

She started laughing again. "So does every man!" John joined in as well.

--~*~--

Two months later

"Welcome Back Donna!", the ladies shouted in celebration if her return. Her office was decorated in pink streamers and there was a few gifts from other staffers who didn't make it by her house in her office. CJ came over to hug her grateful for her return.

"It's good to have you back."

"Its good to be back", she said smiling as she sat behind her desk.

"How was Eva this morning?"

"She was fine. It was more me than anything. I stood outside the door watching for like ten minutes before I could leave."

"She'll be fine Donna."

"I know it just its my baby girl", she said her eyes glassy again. "Anyway what's been going on with you? We have only talked briefly over the phone but I haven't seen you lately. You look great."

"I feel great."

"Does that have to do with a certain senior senator?"

"If you must know yes."

"Have you two?"

"Nope three more weeks."

"Really?"

"Yep. We have made out a few times and I may have accidentally brushed up against it but nothing. We are taking it slow."

"And the boys?"

"I really like them. We went to the National Zoo last week before they went down to Texas for the summer. They are staying with his mother and brother until Congress goes on recess. He asked me to come visit with them, so in three weeks I'm taking some much need time off to hang out in the Texas heat with them."

"Oh that sounds nice. Josh is going to take Eva to his Moms house in Connecticut around the same time. I just got back so I'm not going until the weekend. Ginger and Bonnie had their little girl, Brianna."

"I heard. I went by there but Ginger was still in the hospital. Are they done?"

"No, they want one more in about two years."

"Excuse me", Carol knocked on Donna's office door, "Welcome back Donna."

"Thank you."

"CJ you have-"

"Oh right, sorry Donna I have a meeting."

"Go!, we'll talk later."

"Lunch?"

"Of course"

"I'll see you around one?"

"Yep see ya later."

--~*~--

"Mmm, that's delicious", she said licking her lips as the cool dessert treat melted in her mouth and slid down her throat.

"I told you."

"I can't believe you make your own ice cream."

"My mother showed me. On the ranch we get everything fresh. She showed me how to milk a cow, make homemade biscuits from scratch, do laundry and everything."

"She sounds like a remarkable woman."

"She is", he said while feeding her another spoonful of ice cream.

"Mmm", she smiled enjoying the intimacy of feeding one another. "What about your father?"

"More regimented. He was always at the office. The company was his top priority. I hate that sometimes I look in the mirror and see him."

"How can you say that. I have only known you a short while but you are always there for them."

"Not always. When I was away on assignment in the field I would be gone for months. Once even a year. I missed all of their births."

"That's military life. You can't count that and they were really too young then to remember. You are here for them now John. Your boys love and respect you."

"They love you too", John added gathering their dirty bowls and placing them in the sink, while CJ put the remaining unused ingredients away.

"I don't know about that but I do think Cody and Aiden may have a bit of a crush on me", she let out a soft laugh.

"I think you have captured the hearts of all of the Hoynes men", he said in all sincerity looking in her eyes holding her hand as they walked into the living room.

"How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"You know say the right things? You make me feel- special like no other man has before. Why? You don't even know me really."

"You are special and beautiful and smart. I'm sorry you don't see it and I'm sorry no one has helped you see it before." He leaned forward and whispered into her ear, "And that's the point of dating, to really..get..to..know..you", his deep husky voice and hot breath ran shivers through her body pulsating between her legs. She turned her head to look into his eyes and in an instant crushed her mouth against his. Her hands gravitated under his shirt clawing at his back. His hands cradled her breast and massaged them firmly yet delicately as his mouth moved to her neck.

"Oh God", she moaned and pulled away. He stopped too. Taking a moment to gaze at how wanton she looked with slightly tussled hair and the most beautiful flush across her skin she looked exactly how she looked in his dreams. He was too far from her.

He pulled her back into a kiss were she pulled his shirt over his head barely breaking the seal on their lips as John undid her blouse buttons exposing the fushisa lace push up bra she purposely wore which made him salivate. He hadn't felt the desire to taste a woman in a long time and his longing was in overdrive.

They slowed taking a moment to breathe as his finger played with the butterfly clip on her bra praying for her approval.

"We can't", she sighed stepping back.

"We can", he assured her closing in the gap pulling her close to him again. With his face nuzzled in her neck he whispered against her skin, "Baby we can."

"John", she whimpered as he started sucking on her neck. With her back now against the wall John's hand gravitated under her skirt as he pushed it up. CJ opened her legs slightly and he was able to slip his skilled fingers into her panties where he quickly parted her folds and delicately massage her clit. Her grip on his muscled shoulders tightened. Although she tired to fight it, she released a whimper as she shuddered to his touch.

"My God Claudia you're so fucking wet."

"Shit!", she exhaled moving to the side pushing her skirt down quickly fastening her blouse. "We can't."

"I know", he relented with a sigh, "but I really want to."

"Me too. I'm so tired of masturbating." The both broke into laughter. "I should go", she whispered.

"Yeah." John showed her to the door. "Three more weeks?"

"Yeah", with a sigh she exhaled deeply.

They kissed again at the door. "CJ I lo-, like you. I really like you", he said with a boyish smile with his hands stuffed in his pants pockets in an attempt to resist the urge to grab her, throw her over his shoulders, take her to his bed, and have his way with her.

"Well good cause I really like you too."

"Good. Have a good night."

"You too."

CJ left on cloud nine and extremely arosed.

--~*~--

A week later she walked up the steps to her building to find none other than Danny standing by her door.

"It's amazing that no one called the police on you for loitering."

"Mrs Peterson in 3D always had a weakness for me and she's the only nosy one left in the building since Mrs Roth moved in with her son", he gave her a small smile.

"What are you doing here Danny?"

"Can I come in?", he saw that she was mulling it over, "Please CJ. I only came to talk", CJ nodded toward her apartment opening the door for them. After entering and putting her bags down, she stepped out of her heels and sat down on the couch. Danny joined her.

"You look good."

"I am good."

"Are you still seeing John?"

"What do you want Danny?"

"I feel bad how we left it. I wanted to apologize."

"No apology needed. It was as much my fault as yours. I shouldn't have called you back that day. I was lonely and scared to step back out there."

"You aren't scared anymore?"

"No."

"So you like him."

"Yes I do. Danny why did you come over here today? After two months."

"Katie is pregnant. We are getting married. I wanted to let you hear it from me first."

"Well thanks for that Danny but it wasn't necessary. I'm okay."

"Really?", he asked incredulously.

"Yeah!", she assured him.

"Cause everything that happened when you were pregnant-"

"It was a long time ago. I'm happy for you."

"Not that long but Thank you."

"Do you love her?"

"Hmmm yeah. I mean she's cool and everything. We get a long that kinda thing."

"You know you don't have to get married to be a good father."

"I know but its the right thing to do."

"Just promise me that you will keep going to those classes and really try this time. You'll have a mini you watching everything you do. Imitating you."

"We could have had one. We would have been great parents."

"Yeah, maybe."

"You and John, it's going to be serious?"

"Yeah I think so but we are taking it slow."

"So you two haven't-"

CJ let it a half chuckle, "Not that its any of your business but no."

"Wow! Maybe I'm not the only one trying to change."

"Maybe not. Look I'm really happy for you but I just got home from work and-"

"Yeah of course, I didn't mean to...I miss you."

"Yeah I know Danny. Give my best to Katie."

As CJ opened the door Danny leaned in and tried to kiss her but she turned the head and the kiss landed in her cheek.

"Good Luck with everything Danny."

"Thanks. I love you CJ."

"And I love you. Have a good night."

"You too."

Closing the door behind him, she locked it and fell down in the couch. What happened next puzzled even her when her shirt dampened with her tears. Picking up the phone she dialed John.

"This is John."

"Hey,"

"Why Good Evening Ms Claudia Jean I was just thinking about you."

"Were you now?", tickled my his southern accent. She didnt know why but when he went into what she called 'full southern charm mode", it made CJ melt.

"Yes ma'am, I hoping I could call on you this evening. What are you doing?"

"Nothing much, I just got home not too long ago and I too was hoping to see you tonight", she replied dryly.

John sensed that something was wrong by a tremble in her voice. "What's wrong?"

"I just want to talk to you about something."

"I can come over. I'm leaving the office now."

"Thank you."

"Yeah sure."

Twenty minutes later John rang CJ's door bell. He was greeted with a tight hug.

"Hey, you okay?"

"John sit", he sat next to her and took his hand in hers.

"You are starting to worry me what's going on?"

"I need to tell you something. One hundred percent honesty between us. No games remember?"

"Always but I'm getting really freaked here honey what's happened?"

"I was pregnant before I was married to Danny. I never told him. I'm not sure why but I didn't. I was younger it was some guy I thought I was in love with from grad school, Ben, and maybe we were to some extent but that's neither here nor there", she nervously rambled looking at her hands, "the point is we broke up before I found out. Anyway one night early into my second trimester I woke up with unbearable cramping and pains. When I went to the bathroom I kept feeling the urge to push but nothing came out except- so much blood. It was inperceivable, I had never seen- by the time I got to the hospital it was too late."

"The same thing happened when I was pregnant with Danny's baby. I didn't give him the choice." Now in tears she looked him in his eyes and continued, "I know how much you want that little girl but I might not be the one-"

"Okay I need you to stop talking now. I'm so sorry you went through that once let alone twice and I don't care about any of that. I care about you", he proclaimed as he wiped her tears away. "I love you CJ and if we can't have a child I will be more than happy to adopt that beautiful baby girl. I'm sorry if you felt that was an end all be all for us."

"Are you sure?"

"CJ I have four sons if I never had a daughter I would be content and wait patiently on my granddaughters." They both let out a laugh.

"Can you stay for a while?", she asked now wrapped in his arms.

"I can stay all night if I want too. Except-"

"Hmm?"

"I am starving. What do you say that we go out and grab a bite to eat then come back here and watch movie before we fall asleep on it?"

"Can we?"

"My children are in Texas we can do whatever you want."

CJ started smiling devilishly.

"Not that!", he picked up a throw pillow and threw it at her, making her laugh out loud. "Come on", he held his hand out to her. She placed her hand in his and he pulled her up from the couch straight into a kiss. "Are you okay now?"

"Yes thank you. What do you feel like eating?"

"I don't care. Where ever can seat us now is what I feel like eating."

They exited her apartment holding hands and laughing.

--~*~--

Two weeks later, Arlington Mall

"Ooo CJ! Frederick's of Hollywood, lets go there!"

"Donna I don't want to scare him. I think Victoria's Secret is the better choice at least for this time around", the two ladies laughed.

"Besides that what else do you need?"

"John told me to pick out cocktail dress and a new swimsuit, he gave me his card Donna", CJ showed her the Gold MasterCard.

"Oh my- well you know he's rich. Like one percent rich."

"You don't know that."

"CJ are you kidding me. The man gave you his gold credit card and went out of town. Did he even give you a limit?"

"Well no but-"

"Exactly. Josh would be calling to verify the transactions as I was shopping."

"Your husband is just cheap. If he could shop at a military commissary he would."

"I'm just saying 'Master the Possibilities'-", she teased CJ with the MasterCard slogan, "hey what do I get for coming along?"

"Donna I'm not abusing his trust by charging anything thats not supposed to be. But as my shopping companion lunch is on me."

"Sweet. I want something tasty, maybe sushi I'm not breastfeeding anymore."

"That sounds great. Let's hit Victoria's Secret first."

As they were looking through the racks the salesperson approached to assist them. In not so many words CJ told them what she was looking for and the associate pulled out a three piece satin set. It included a floor length robe, a lace trimmed tank and short set to match.

"Donna, this is", she stood in front if the mirror holding it up against her frame, "It's perfect."

"CJ so you really want to go with shorts?"

"I could do a little striptease for him", she smiled impishly biting her bottom lip. The saleswoman laughed.

"I'm just saying a négligée would be better for the first time. What do you think?"

"That he would love to see your long legs in anything. I know I would. Why don't you try it on? I'll be over by the accessories if you need me."

CJ turned to Donna with wide eyes and an open mouth. They rushed into the dressing room.

"Oh God, Shh, oh my gosh", they muffled their laughing.

"She likey what she seey."

"Oh shut up. Help me try this on.'

A few minutes later CJ was in love.

"Donna this is it."

"I must say you wear it well but what about the color."

"Yeah I'm not really in love with this teal."

"Ooo maybe in lavender. Or red you will knock him dead in red and wear your hair up."

"Come on let's check out our choices."

"Get a nitghty too. You are going to be the for five days."

"I am but this bad boy is for the main event."

"You are so excited you're glowing."

"I know. This is the longest I've waited to be with someone. He told me he loves me."

"Already?, why didn't you tell me! That's big. Did you say it back?"

"No, I couldn't. I keep feeling like its too soon. I don't want to make the same mistake twice."

As they exited the dressing room CJ wondered to the fragrance section.

"I want something new for the night."

"We can go to Bath and Body Works if you don't find anything. I could use a refill in my cucumber melon."

"You love that scent. We can go there too. Where's the saleswoman? I'm looking for something soft and sensual."

"Helping someone I'll grab her attention."

After quickly assisting the other shopper the woman found her way over and immediately found a scent CJ fell in love with.

"Vanilla Cashmere. We just got it in stock and I can't get enough it."

"We have the lotions as well. Did you like the outfit?"

"Yes I loved it but I was wondering if it came in like a red or lavender."

"Yes both. Black and a Canary yellow as well."

"CJ the lavender."

"I know I'll take that, the perfume set and these", she pilled her up with five days of bras, panties and lingere while they walked over to the counter.

The associate gave her a free tote even though she didn't apply for a credit card and a 15% off her next purchase coupon.

"Come back and ask for me. I'll make sure to give you an extra discount, I'm here on the weekends. Oh and I'm Calley by the way."

When they left Donna teased CJ well the way to their next destination.

"CJ has a girlfriend, CJ has a girlfriend, CJ and Calley sitting in a tree..", she sang dying laughing along the way.

"I so want to punch you, come on. Dillards or Belk for the dress."

"More like Nordstrom or Nieman Marcus. Gold MasterCard CJ! Ooo Saks! Please say yes, Please say yes!"

"Fine Nordstrom."

"Yay! Lets go!"

"I think you are having more fun than I am."

--~*~--

Hours later they arrived back at Donnas house since she was dropping her at the airport in the morning. Donna was helping her pack her new purchases but she couldn't help but notice CJ looked a little piqued.

"Worried?"

"More like afraid."

"It's going to be fine. It's not like you haven't had sex before."

"I know", she turned to her on the bed, "it's just this week has a lot of underlying meaning Donna, Danny and I got married on a whim. We literally woke up had sex and he said marry me. I said okay and we went to the courthouse that day. No ring no romance no plans. John is so much more."

"So what. You told me that you were ready for something real something meaningful. John is it. Why are you all of a sudden so scared?"

"I don't know. It's different. It's so intense when I'm with him. He treats me like I'm flawless. A fucking princess."

Donna sat next to her and wrapped her arms around her.

"It's about time. You deserve it. Now you have to know you deserve it. Do you?"

"Yes", she said quietly with her head hung low.

"Look at me. Do you?"

"Yes", she stated firmly.

"Good so stop your whining and accept the love of a good man who knows how to treat a woman. I'm going to put some water on. You want tea?"

Donna winked at her before she left.

CJ picked up the phone to call John.

"Dad!!! CJ on the phone!!!", Noel screamed into the phone.

"Hey hold on, 'Hang Up!!'", he listened for his son to hang up the other extension. "So have a fun day shopping?"

"Yes I did. I think Donna had more fun than I did with Eva and Josh in Connecticut", she snickered.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing just wanted to hear your voice and say goodnight. You are picking me up tomorrow?"

"Of course, CJ talk to me."

"It's nothing just a little tired. Donnas making some tea then I'm calling it a night. I have all the receipts by the way I didn't spend too too much."

"I don't care about the money. It's just money and if I didn't trust you I wouldn't have given you the card. Now darling please tell me what's got you in such a solemn mood."

"I'm a little scared and nervous about tomorrow night I guess."

"Claudia, I need you to answer this next question with complete honesty."

"Okay."

"Do you want to slow down?"

"Yes I think so, I don't know."

"Do you still want to come to Texas?"

"Yes."

"Great get on the plane and come to me tomorrow and when you get here we can go horseback riding, go swimming, barbecue, play tennis, or Scrabble all day and night. There will be no other expectations except relaxation."

"You aren't mad?"

"Why would I be?"

"Because I insisted we wait. I spent a small fortune today at the mall and I just took the highlight of the weekend off the table."

"I am disappointed. I was looking forward to being with you but I will never force anything on you."

"What about your", she stressed, "expectations?"

"Remembered that did you?", he could hear her smile through the phone which made him smile.

"Kinda", she spoke shyly.

"Those are reserved for my wife or bride to be as I would expect her to have requests of me as well."

"Tell me one- please."

"Okay, you have to surrender complete and total control to me in the bedroom. A willingness to do whatever however when you are told", he spoke slowly and intensively his voice was heavy and desirable.

"Wow well, ah...", an aroused CJ was speechless.

John started laughing.

"What's funny?"

"Your face right now. I'm kidding CJ."

"I'll get you back for that."

"Good, I'll look forward to it. Have a goodnight CJ."

"Goodnight John."

--~*~--