(The following is a nonprofit work of fanfiction and is outside of the original canon. All names, characters, businesses, places, events, and/or incidents of any kind depicted within this story are being used for entertainment purposes only.)
(The Loud House and all related characters were created by Chris Savino and all rights belong to Nickelodeon.)
- Chapter Twenty-Five -
No Time Like Family Time
A little bit later that day...
Once after we returned home from church, I went straight up into my bedroom and changed into my usual summer wear. I flopped down on my bed and took a long deep breath. It always felt so good to back after a long morning of listening to the pastor's seemingly never-ending sermon on Sundays. As I relaxed further on my bed, I let out a big yawn, stretching my mouth open to its limited capacity, my hands resting behind my white-haired head. A big smile appeared across my face.
I could just fall back asleep on this wonderful mattress right about now, I thought comfortably. Sadly, as I was a moment away from doing just that, three loud knocks came upon my bedroom door, and Lori's voice called out.
"Hey, Lincoln! Mom wants you to take out the trash really quick!" she said. Furrowing my brows, I slumped my head back down my pillow and let out an annoyed groan under my breath.
"I'll be down there in a minute!" I called out. Not wanting to prolong it any further, I got up from my bed and made my way down the stairs over to the kitchen where the tied-up trash bag was already resting on the floral-patterned linoleum floor waiting for me. I sighed sharply through my mouth.
"Might as well just get it done and over with," I muttered before walking over and picking the bag up with relative ease and then slinging it over my shoulder. "Thank goodness it's not extremely heavy this time."
Just like all the other times, I walked outside to the curb where our family's tin trash can was and stuffed it inside. With this little task done, I dusted my hands off and walked back into my house—not before going back to the kitchen to wash my hands. Taking out the trash was not exactly a very clean job. For the heck of it, I splashed my face with cold water, the sudden chill waking my senses up. After drying my face with a washcloth, I walked back out and spotted Mom and Aunt Sharon sitting neatly together in the dining room table, visiting and drinking fresh cups of coffee while talking about whatever it was adult women talked about.
After walking past the two of them, I came into the living room where I saw Dad, Uncle Lance, and Shane sitting around the couch with Grandpa resting his old bones on the recliner chair, the three of them engaged in their own form of conversation. I wasn't exactly paying close attention given that I was a little more focused on going back up to my bedroom, but I was pretty sure I heard them talking about their respective lives, Dad's restaurant, Uncle Lance's gym, Grandpa's management of Camp Mastodon, and Shane's time in high school.
Shelby and Shiloh sat on the floor in front of the TV, watching what looked like a rerun episode of Knight Rider.
"Man, this show is awesome!" Shiloh stated excitedly.
"I'll say it is. And that David Hasselhoff? Oh boy, what a total hunk." Shelby muttered, sighing dreamily. Shiloh grinned mischievously from ear to ear.
"Yeah, I guess he is. Too bad he's just not as good-looking as Kirk Cameron though, right?" he teased her with a snicker, which earned him a mean-looking death glare from his sister. "Hehehe, take it easy, sis! I'm only joking!"
Walking back up the stairs, I made it to the top—just in time to see Luna suddenly pop out through her bedroom door, all dressed back into her usual rock n' roll attire. I watched as she took a deep breath through her nose, her slender arms stretched out right above her head, the heels of her Doc Martens clicking against each other like she was Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz. Sure, that was if Dorothy ever decided to dress up as an 80's rock fanatic.
"Finally!" she exclaimed in overwhelming relief and happiness. "It feels so righteous to be out of those clothes!"
"You could totally say that again, sis!" I heard Leni say, after having appeared from her own bedroom next to the bathroom, garbed once more in her usual pink and seafoam green neon spandex and crop top. "I swear, if I had to wear that old lady dress for, like, another minute, I don't know what I would do!"
Go insane perhaps? I remarked amusingly inside my head before making my way back into the wonderful sanctity of my bedroom and flopping back down on my bed.
"And now, back to my regularly scheduled program." I muttered out loud, after having taken a deep breath.
Knock! Knock! Knock!
Spoke too soon. I grunted under my breath.
Oh, come on! Just what do I have to do to get some peace and alone time around here? I thought in frustration, slapping the palm of my hands against my forehead. But then, I quickly remembered what house I lived in and what family I'm from. Hard to find peace and quiet anywhere in your life when your last name is Loud.
"Who is it?" I called, sounding more annoyed.
"Hey, Lincoln!" Shane's voice spoke out from the other side. "I'm just letting you know that we're gonna have dinner over at this place called Giovanni's really soon!" I immediately knew that he was talking about Giovanni's Italian Bistro. It was a charming little restaurant located just a couple of blocks north from Gus' Games & Grub. My family and I would go there from time to time whenever Dad needed a break from cooking for thirteen people.
"Yeah? What time?" I asked, lifting only my head up.
"We're going to leave at about four o'clock!" he said. I looked at my wristwatch. That was three hours until then.
"Alright! Thanks for the heads up, Shane!"
"Anytime, cousin!" Shane answered before there was silence once again. I sighed sharply.
Finally, I thought with relief. And so, I closed my eyes and took my little nap, allowing my brain to be teleported back to my own personal dream world, with the idea of a lovely sunny beach in mind...
The summer sun blazed across the sky as the wind blew against my face and hair. Driving my red convertible down the freeway closely next to the beach, I took a deep breath of the fresh air through my nose before looking over at the beach, catching a glance or two at the many windsurfers that rode around on the ocean. Cutting Crew's (I Just) Died in Your Arms played loudly through the speakers of my car, which couldn't be any more perfect. I heard a woman's giggle on the passenger seat to my right and I smiled knowingly who it was.
"I can't think of a more righteous vacation spot than this, right Lincoln?" I looked over and my smile grew bigger when my eyes landed on Sam who was resting her head against my right arm, dressed in a very pretty turquoise-colored summer dress, her blond hair flowing in the wind almost like that of a golden yellow superhero cape.
"You got that right, babe," I agreed. "Been planning this trip for a long time now." The love of my life made a cute-sounding giggle again, causing my heart to skip excitedly.
"I'm so glad we finally made it a reality. Otherwise, we wouldn't be here right now," Sam spoke before sighing dreamily and wrapping one arm around mine. "Oh, Lincoln. My sweet handsome little dreamboat of a man. How could I have been so blind in not realizing your love sooner than before?"
I chuckled good-naturedly, the warm wind still blowing against my face.
"I'd say around the same time that it took me to finally tell you, hot stuff," I replied, before planting a soft kiss on the top of her head and setting my eyes back on the straight road ahead. Unexpectedly, Sam then shot both her bare arms up in the air and she let out a yell out of sheer excitement and happiness.
"Yahoo! Look out, world! Here comes Sam and Lincoln, the most totally radical couple in the entire universe!"
"You're ding dang right we are!" I agreed, matching along with her exclamation.
"Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight!" Cutting Crew sang passionately through the car's speakers. "It must have been something you said! I just died in your arms tonight!" But then, right before the song could reach its climax, the radio unexpectedly started to make a lot of static noises, causing the music to fizzle in and out. I looked down for a moment, raising a single eyebrow in confusion, as did Sam.
"What the...?" I muttered aloud before fiddling and twisting the left-side knob, trying to come back to our original station. "What the heck is wrong with this thing? It was working just fine earlier." I let go for a split moment, and the knob suddenly twisted counterclockwise, causing the little red arrow dial to move to the far-left side, and the white noise finally stopped, nothing but silence. And what came next made all the hairs over my body stand up.
"We interrupt this music to bring you this shocking news; young couple dies in a horrifying accident." spoke a familiarly evil and deep-sounding voice through the speakers. Fear instantly spread through me like wildfire.
"Better fasten your seatbelts, kiddos!" Freddy Krueger's disembodied voice taunted menacingly. "Because this is going to be a really bumpy ride! HAAAHAHAHAHA!" Sam and I suddenly felt our seatbelts tighten around our waists, keeping the two of us firmly trapped in our seats. Just when I thought things couldn't possibly get any worse, more seatbelt straps appeared coiled around our bodies like snakes, and they tied my hands together by the wrists. Sam tried to let out a shriek of terror before more seatbelt straps covered her mouth, muffling her screams.
We were forced to watch helplessly as thick green stripes appeared all around the red convertible, mimicking that of Freddy's sweater. Another sadistically bone-chilling laugh echoed through the car speakers. I did what I could to keep a firm grip on the steering wheel, but it felt like it was fighting against me, as if it had developed a mind of its own. Freddy's mind, that is. Dark clouds appeared and then hurriedly gathered together around each other until not a trace of the clear blue sky could be seen. Bolts of lightning cracked, and the wind picked up speed until it was now howling.
Freddy's evil laugh grew louder as the red-and-green-striped convertible speed even faster.
"See you on the other side, Linky!" the slasher villain's voice bellowed. Without warning, the car quickly shifted over to the right, coming upon multiple rows of large billboards. From there, I knew immediately what was going to happen next. Sam let out another muffled scream, tears pouring down her eyes, as I let out a scream of my own as the possessed convertible rammed straight ahead at the first billboard, my entire world flashing white...
I practically shot up from my bed, gasping for breath. Upon realizing that it was another terrible nightmare, I let out a groan as I flopped back down on my bed. I let out a sharp breath through my mouth, brows furrowed together in annoyance at having my dream ruined. It had gotten to the point where I could no longer enjoy my own childish fantasy of my own crush without You-Know-Who butting in as the third wheel and ruining everything.
"One of these days, Freddy," I muttered, a need for vengeance filling me up. "You will get yours. This, I promise." I gave a side-eyed glance over at my alarm clock, seeing that it was now three fifty-nine in the afternoon. It was time to go to dinner. Getting up from my bed, I stretched out my arms and legs to their full capacity and let out a big yawn. With that, I walked out of my bedroom just in time to see some of my sisters already heading over and walking down the stairs, with me following them to the living room and outside to the front yard.
After having climbed into Vanzilla and fastening our seatbelts, Dad backed us out of the driveway and we drove out into the street and through the area once again with Grandpa, Uncle Lance and their family closely following behind us in their grayish blue Nissan Vanette. This time, I made sure to bring my Sony Walkman with me so that I could drown out the surrounding calamity going on inside our car. For this, I brought along with me Luna's birthday mixtape, one which she had made for me for my twelfth birthday back in June.
It was a fifteen-minute drive over to Giovanni's, so this gave me plenty of time to enjoy some good tunes along the way. Putting my headphones on, I stuck the little black cassette tape inside my Walkman and pressed the play button. I sat back in my seat and relaxed while listening to a number of my favorite music artists, ranging from Huey Lewis & The News to Kenny Loggins, Phil Collins, Loverboy, Chicago, Survivor, and the great Bryan Adams. And the one I was listening to on my birthday mixtape was his classic Summer of '69.
"Those were the best days of my life!" Mr. Adams sang into my headphones. "Back in the summer of '69!"
This song is going to become totally nostalgic for me when I get older, I just know it. I thought to myself.
I really had no idea just how right I would be in the next thirty years—among a lot of other things. It was only a matter of time until I glanced outside and right there was Giovanni's Italian Bistro proudly displaying itself before us, carefully situated between two other buildings. The roof of the building was about thirteen feet tall; and the building itself resembled a traditional Italian villa, with a red-tiled roof and the walls were painted a cream-colored white.
Right above the front double glass door was the restaurant's name lit up in green, white, and red neon lights. As I've explained before, whenever Dad needed a break from cooking for all of us, we would from time-to-time drive into town and eat out at some of the best—if not the least expensive—restaurants in Royal Woods. There were a lot of great places to choose from, such as Chuck E. Cheese's, Banger's & Mosh, or Chang's Chinese Eatery—which so happened to be Giovanni's competitor and arch-rival. Or if we were feeling especially cheap, there was nothing like a good trip to McDonalds or Burger King to make us happy.
After Dad parked Vanzilla closely up against the curb, with Uncle Lance's car parked behind us, we climbed out one by one to the sidewalk, and I hooked my Walkman on the hem of my left side pants pocket and hung my headphones around the back of my neck. Our family walked over and opened the double glass door, and we were all greeted with a very pleasant view of the interior. Tables and booths were everywhere, and we could just see the kitchen at the far back of the restaurant.
Decorative fake grape vines hung closely up to the ceiling above over each wooden stall. The upper half of the walls were covered in rustic brown wallpaper and the lower half was made up of gray stone bricks formed together in cement. Ceiling fans hung closely down, a couple of them were on, while some remained turned off. I could faintly hear the sound of Dean Martin's That's Amore playing in the background at a low volume.
After Dad said, "We'd like a table for nineteen, please." to the host who stood directly behind the small wooden front desk, we were then guided over to a group of rectangular-shaped tables located more towards the center of the restaurant and the host was even nice enough to have a few of the employees re-arrange the tables to form one long enough to seat all nineteen of us. After we took our own spots, me sitting between Shiloh and Shelby, we waited a short while until our waiter—whose name was Derek—finally came with our menus, took out his notepad, and asked, "Would anyone like to have something to drink?"
"Just waters, thank you." Mom replied.
"I'd like to have a Diet Coke, please!" I announced.
"Eighteen waters and one Diet Coke. Not a problem. Be right back in a jiffy." Derek said before making off to the kitchen in the back of the restaurant. As we each went through our individual menus, trying to figure out what we were going to have while being mindful of the prices, Derek soon came back, along with another waiter or two, bringing with them nineteen glass cups filled with ice and a clear plastic pitcher of water and one can of Diet Coke.
Finally, after the other waiters left, Derek took our orders on his notepad, each of us telling him what we were in the mood for. I asked for a plate of Linguini noodles with Bolognese sauce and one large meatball. Once our waiter left with our orders, our family killed some time and took to chatting while we patiently waited. I told my two young cousins about Dungeons & Dragons. But the moment I mentioned the name, they both looked unsure about the idea of them getting involved.
Shelby was the first to voice her concerns.
"I don't know, Lincoln," she uttered in a hesitant tone. "I heard some pretty bad stories about that game."
"Yeah, I did too," Shiloh added, nodding his head. "Like, people on TV are saying that it teaches witchcraft and brainwashes you to perform satanic rituals."
"Don't be ridiculous, guys," I rebuffed them, after rolling my eyes.
"But it has to be true," Shelby tried to reason. "I mean, what they're saying on the news. They can't be untrue, could they?" I gave my middle cousin a hard yet soft expression, my lips straightening into a thin line, my arms folding over my skinny chest.
"Let me ask you something," I began slowly and clearly. "Do they even have a shred of proof to back up what they're claiming? And if they did, where is it? How come they haven't shown it already?" She stared at me for a split moment, then her eyes shifted left and right, and indication that she was trying to think of an answer.
"Well...Uh...Y-You see..." she stammered between pauses. My expression softened and my lips curved up into a gentle smile. I placed a relaxing hand on her shoulder.
"I promise you guys," I said. "Dungeons & Dragons is just a tabletop fantasy role-playing game, no more and no less. There is absotively nothing for you two to be worried about in the slightest. It's a lot like The Tales of King Arthur and The Lord of the Rings rolled into one, and you get to make up the story as you go. You can choose to play as either knights, wizards, barbarians, rangers, elves, dwarves, halflings, you name it."
"You can explore fantastic realms and medieval kingdoms," I continued, "and go on all kinds of bodacious adventures, like searching for buried treasure in an underground cave for example, or fighting against dragons, ancient dark lords, and take down other manner of villains in your way. All this can be done with only the power of your imagination. Now, did everything I just tell you sound even remotely satanic or witchcrafty to you?"
In conclusion, Shelby and Shiloh shook their little heads, which made me smile even bigger.
"My friends are coming over to play tomorrow afternoon on Monday." I told them. "I'll tell you what; you guys can come and see for yourselves of what the game's actually like. I promise, nothing bad is going to happen. None of us are going to be 'brainwashed' or whatever kind of nonsense people are saying." When I felt this conversation was good and done with, I couldn't help but suddenly overhear Shane speak up from his spot next to Aunt Sharon and Uncle Lance seated to his right.
"Hey, Luna! Are we still going to your band's concert show on Wednesday?" he asked.
"You know it, cousin!" Luna proclaimed excitedly, sitting across from him.
"It's at that British-themed place, right?" Aunt Sharon asked, clearly having trouble remembering the name. Luna's smile faded into a frown.
"Um... yeeaah, about that...," she hesitated for a bit while twiddling her fingers. "Before we left, I got a phone call from Sully earlier."
"What about it?" Uncle Lance asked her before he took a bite of his salad.
"He told me that Chunk said there are some issues going on over at Bangers & Mosh," Luna explained. "Right now, the place is on temporary lockdown due to a, shall we say, less-than-tubular health inspection and they won't reopen again until the end of the week."
"Wow. It sure sounds like it was a really moshy business! Hehehe, get it?" Luan joked, earning a collective groan from all of us.
"Bangers & Mosh is closed for a whole week?" Dad said, sounding very disappointed. "Aw, that stinks."
"So, what are you guys going to do for your show?" Shane asked.
"Not to worry. Our band is rescheduled to perform over at the Red Herring instead." Luna explained.
"Well, that sure is a relief," I remarked with a sigh.
Right after that, Derek and the same two waiters from earlier came to our table with large platters carrying each of our plates of heaping piles of food. After they carefully placed them in front of each of us, Derek proclaimed with a resounding, "Enjoy your dinner, folks! I'll be back to check up on you soon!" and then he walked away once again. We all then bowed our heads and folded our hands, and Dad lead us into a short word of prayer before we let out a proud, "Amen!"
We dug into our plates of food like nobody else's business, savoring every spice and flavor of whatever pasta dish we were having. I looked over and saw that Lana was already making a giant mess of herself more than Lily was, her face caked in marinara sauce and stuffing in big mouthfuls of spaghetti like she was pretending to be Randy from A Christmas Story. Lola, who sat right next to her on her right, looked at her identical twin sister in complete revulsion.
"Ugh, why do you always have to eat like a pig?" our little pageant queen accosted. "Honestly, you can be really grody sometimes, you know that?"
Lana's grody almost all the time, I mentally quipped before taking a carved chunk of my one large meatball. After several minutes had gone by almost in a haze, as I was now half-way through my plate of pasta, I heard Shane speak up again, and what I heard him say made my ears perk up just a little bit.
"Do you guys wonder if maybe Donald Trump could become president some day?" he asked us. Every single Loud family member stopped what they were doing and looked over in our firstborn cousin's direction.
"Come again?" Grandpa asked with a raised eyebrow, his mouth half full of his plate of lasagna.
"Do you guys wonder if maybe Donald Trump could become president some day?" Shane repeated.
"Why do you ask, sweetheart?" Aunt Sharon wondered curiously. Shane shrugged his shoulders.
"Eh, no particular reason," he said. "The idea's been kind of floating around in my head recently, and I was just curious to know what you guys think." A short spell of silence filled our table until Lori spoke up.
"If you want my opinion, I honestly doubt something like that would ever happen, Shane!" she dismissed. Shane looked at her brows furrowed at such an answer.
"What makes you say that, Lori?" he asked.
"Well, for starters;" our eldest sister began. "Donald Trump is an extremely rich billionaire. Do you know just how much of his own wealth and status he would have to give up in order for him to run for the Oval Office? I would say, like, quite literally a lot." Did you ever sometimes get the abrupt sense of déjà vu, like you've heard or experienced an event like this before in the past? Well, that was what I felt when my sister and cousin started having this very discussion.
I just know that I've heard something like this before... I thought to myself, becoming deep in my own thoughts, stroking my chin. And that was when it finally hit me like a pillowcase filled with bricks, and my brain rewound all the way to about three months ago back in the end of May on the last day of school, when I had overheard those two kids having an intensely similar debate. Only difference was Shane and Lori hadn't made a bet on it in the end. At least not yet.
"I don't know about you, Lori," Lynn spoke up from her spot. "But now that Shane mentions it, I think Trump could actually do it if he wanted to."
"I know, right?" Shane agreed. "Can all of you guys just imagine if that were to actually happen? I mean, think about it for one moment: Donald Trump himself, one of the richest men in America, as the President of the United States? I think that it would be incredibly rad to see." Lori stroked her chin with a delicate finger, thinking deeply until she ultimately shook her head.
"Nah, I still don't see that happening," she concluded. "I think the man's got way better things to do in his time than try to get involved in politics, like buying or selling real estate or something."
"Oh, come on! Don't be like that, Lori!" Shane whined at her persistent denial.
"Yeah!" Leni jumped in, clearly wanting to be part of the conversation. "It's just like Lynn said, Mr. Trump could totally do it if he wanted to."
"Just because he could doesn't mean that he should, Leni." Lori countered.
"I'm afraid I must share the same sentiments with our eldest sibling unit," Lisa spoke up, as she was about to take a forkful of her macaroni. "And if you were to ask a brilliant-minded intellectual such as myself, I would say that a rich billionaire such as Donald J. Trump becoming a political figure—let alone the President of the United States of America—to be about as plausible as, say, I don't know, Arnold Schwarzenegger becoming governor or something of the like."
Now, there was an idea I hadn't thought of before, and it sounded very exciting in my twelve-year-old mind. Grandpa let out an amused chuckle.
"Hehehehe! Oh, wouldn't that be something else," he muttered aloud good-naturedly. "The Terminator as a governor. I'd pay a lot of money to see that."
"If that were to happen, I'd say people would start calling him the 'Governator'." Lynn commented.
"I think what you actually mean is, 'De Gahvunatah!" Luna said, giving us what I can only describe as her less-than-stellar attempt at impersonating Arnold himself. Still, she tried, and that's what really counted. Everybody, me included, laughed in amusement around the long table. Heck, even Lucy let out a collection of giggles of her own, which honestly freaked me out a little bit. After we calmed back down, Shane spoke up one last time.
"Well, despite what you say, Lori," he debated further. "I still think it could actually happen one of these days. Perhaps not now, tomorrow, next week, or sometime late at the very end of this decade. I mean, you never truly know what the future might have in store. And besides, it wouldn't hurt you to keep an open mind about the idea, am I right?" Lori rested her head on her hand while making sure to keep her elbow off the table, and she sighed seeming to have given in.
"Yeah, I guess so..." she uttered.
If only people would keep an "open mind" about Dungeons & Dragons, I mentally quipped as I took in a mouthful of linguini.
"Shane does have a fair point, kiddo" Uncle Lance spoke up next to Dad's left side. "And who knows, maybe Schwarzenegger could decide to become governor someday, and we just don't know it yet. If they put their minds to it, they can accomplish anything."
Luna snorted humorously when our uncle said that last part.
"Whatever you say, McFly." our rock fanatic for a sister remarked, referencing Back to the Future.
And with that, we ate away at our dinner without another word or debate about the subject. After each of us were done, pasta sauce-stained dishes either empty or half-empty, our waiter Derek returned with the bill, which Grandpa was surprisingly more than happy to pay for, despite Mom and Dad's protests. We carefully stood up on our feet and we were made to re-arrange the tables back to their original positions, even though we didn't want to because of how full we were at that point.
We then made our way outside to our separate vehicles and relaxed as we drove on back home once more, food comas slowly beginning to take hold of us...
You might be wondering as to why I made a small few of the fusion restaurants into separate establishments instead of like how they were portrayed in the TV show. Although, I do acknowledge that even though fusion restaurants were indeed one of the many popular trends back in the 80's, I am also quite positive they were not like something only a Nickelodeon cartoon would come up with like, say, Giovanni Chang's Italian Chinese Bistro, or Jean Juan's French Mex Buffet, or Aloha Comrade. So, just as before, I'm only trying to play it safe for the sake of historical accuracy.
Now that that's been taken care of, if you guys liked this new chapter, post your reviews down below and let me know what you all thought. If you want to read more in the future, hit me with a favorite and a follow.
Until then, have a blessed December and a Merry Christmas...