(The following is a nonprofit work of fanfiction and is outside of the original canon. All names, characters, businesses, places, events, and/or incidents of any kind depicted within this story are being used for entertainment purposes only.)
(The Loud House and all related characters were created by Chris Savino and all rights belong to Nickelodeon.)
It always feels soooooo good to post another chapter after a while. And thank you for the review, U.N. Owen. Truth be told, the whole Trump becoming president thing was meant to be a callback to chapter three where Lincoln overheard those two kids having a similar debate.
I was kind of already planning on doing this callback about several chapters ago, and I didn't really have this recent election in mind when I finally posted it. Funnily enough, my original plan was for Lincoln to be the one to bring the idea up to his family instead of Shane. And plus, I also wanted an excuse to make a segue and reference Arnold Schwarzenegger becoming governor.
It's just one of those Hilarious in Hindsight moments that I love playing around with. ^_^ Just to give you guys a quick little heads up, my playlist is almost complete. In case you don't remember, I'm making a playlist consisting of 80's music for this story. It's supposed to be a reference to when movies back in the day had rock and roll music albums to coincide with their releases.
And with that, I say to you all to please, enjoy this new chapter and have a splendid day...
- Chapter Twenty-Six -
Loud Dungeons & Loud Dragons
Monday, August 2nd.
1:45 PM...
The summer sun blazed high in the afternoon sky like it always did as I pedaled through the neighborhood on my BMX, taking the same familiar route which I had memorized more than a hundred times, making my way back home. I had just fulfilled another grocery run for Mom over at Flip's Food & Fuel, the large brown paper bag resting comfortably in my bike's basket. As I rode further down the street, more music from my birthday mixtape played in my ears through my headphones, my Sony Walkman hooked comfortably on the left side hem of my pants.
It really is nice to get out of the house every once in a while, I thought in my head as I was halfway done listening to Eddie Money's Take Me Home Tonight.
Upon reaching the full view of my house, I pushed back the breaks to a slow and steady halt at the edge of the driveway just in time to see my sisters having another sprinkler party, with Shane and Lynn playing a bit of frisbee with Charles while Lola, Lana, Shelby, and Shiloh played around with our Willy Water Bug. Like before, Lori sat out in the unfolded lawn chair relaxing and listening to some music which played from the boombox. Vanzilla was still parked in the other end of the driveway in front of the garage door, but the Vanette was nowhere to be seen. Which left me wondering...
Uncle Lance, Dad, and Grandpa sat over in our wooden bench at the far-left side of the patio chatting along as they mindfully watched the chaos play out all over the front yard, Lily sitting comfortably on Grandpa's lap. I hung my headphones around my neck and pressed the pause button on my Sony Walkman, before climbing off my bike, guiding and then parking it at the side of our house's garage. I grabbed the grocery bag from the basket, noting that it was a little bit heavier than the last runs and I strategically maneuvered around the front yard to the patio while trying to avoid getting wet from the Willy Water Bug.
"Look who's finally back home!" Grandpa suddenly said, his upper cheeks perking up to form a smile which hid a little bit behind his mustache as always.
"Hey, guys," I casually answered and then asked, "Do you know where Mom and Aunt Sharon went?"
"They had to make a quick little drive to the bank," Uncle Lance informed me.
"They should be home in half an hour, sport." Dad added.
"Great. Thanks," I said, my curiosity satisfied. As I still held my grocery bag in both my hands, my old man hurriedly got up to his feet and opened the front door for me. With a thankful nod, I walked into the living room and made my way over to the kitchen. From there, I set the bag on the counter and assorted whatever I had bought that were on Mom's list: two boxes of Cheez-Its, a tin container of Folger's coffee, a large bag of Ruffles potato chips, and a jug of milk as well as a can of Pepsi for myself. I put the milk in the fridge but left everything else on the counter.
"Done and done." I muttered, knowing Mom would sort out the rest later. I glanced down at my wristwatch and beamed with excitement. In about fifteen minutes, my friends were going to show up right on my doorstep and then we'd continue on with our D&D campaign. With this knowledge, I opened the freezer and counted about seven frozen pizzas small enough for one person each. I then darted upstairs to my bedroom and pulled out my D&D supplies from under my mattress, making sure everything was accounted for and nothing else was missing.
In case you might be wondering, the game I owned back around that timeframe was the none other than the famous Basic Set. To be a lot more specific, the one I had owned was the 1983 revised edition. It all came together in a distinctive all-red box which had the classic front cover of an armed warrior going up against a giant, red-scaled dragon with a huge treasure hoard in the background. Inside, it came with two books: the Players Manual and the Dungeon Masters Rulebook.
The rest included a number of character sheets each printed in bright green paper, at least about enough for seven players, along with a set of six, multi-shaped, red-colored dice. But that wasn't the only thing I had though. I also owned the Expert and Companion Sets, which were expansions to the Basic Set, all of which were also revised 1983 editions. The Expert Set came in a blue box while the box of the Companion Set was colored bluish green.
As for the character and enemy miniatures, those I bought with my own money when I had earned enough to pay for. After making sure everything was perfectly assembled, I placed all three box sets back under my bed, the feeling of anticipation continuing to build up inside my entire skinny body. My attention was then pulled away when several knocks came upon my door.
"Come in?" I called out. And in popped my second eldest sister, Leni, dressed in her usual pink and sea-green neon attire.
"Hey, Lincoln. Have you got a moment?" she asked me. Seeing as there was still plenty of spare time before my friends would arrive, I figured it wouldn't hurt to help with whatever my sister needed. Though, I had a gut feeling that it was going to involve what I feared it would be.
"Sure, Leni," I said to her. "Whatcha need?" Without wasting any more time, she drew out two different forms of clothing from behind her back, ones I guess she only recently bought over at the mall. Both were draping on coat hangers. One was a sea-green suit jacket with shoulder pads and a white long skirt and white turtleneck, and the other was a different set of neon clothing; a pink off-the-shoulder crop top, a black leotard outfit and sea-foam green leggings and pink legwarmers.
"Which one of these do think I should wear for tomorrow?" she asked me, as she held out her two sets of clothing. "Should I wear something nicer and more formal like this long skirt and jacket, or should it be a little flashier like this spandex?" Hearing this quickly put my mind at ease. Sometimes, it felt so good to be wrong.
At least she's not going to use me as a model this time around. I thought in relief. Not now, anyway.
"Well, what's the occasion?" I asked my fashionista for a sister.
"Like, do you remember Gavin?" she asked me.
"You mean your new boyfriend?" I asked with a teasing smile, crossing my arms over my chest. "Hehehe! Yeah, I remember him."
"Well, it's just that tomorrow's our date and I'm trying to, like, figure out what I should wear," she explained. No, you did not misread that; Leni also had a boyfriend as well, believe it or not. It happened around several weeks ago somewhere back in mid-July. Leni and three of her friends were hanging out at the food court of the mall one day for their lunch break from work. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention one other thing. Leni also had a job at the mall in this clothes shop called Redinger's.
It only seemed very fitting she would work there, given how much of a giant slave of fashion he was. But I'm getting a little off topic here. Anyways, when Leni walked over to grab something to eat from the newly opened Taco Bell vendor, she met this handsome-looking dude standing right behind the front counter taking orders. From the moment they locked eyes together for the first time, something instantly sparked between them. Since then, the pair had been dating for a while now.
I know this story because Leni told us right after she got home, her eyes glazed and a giant lovestruck smile on her face. And if there was anything to go on, it's that based on her description alone, this Gavin character sounded like he was a pretty decent guy. I rubbed my chin as I closely examined the two sets of clothing. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen Leni where anything besides her usual neon attire. Supposing it wouldn't hurt to try something different for a change.
Having made up my mind, I pointed to the white long skirt and sea-green shoulder-padded jacket.
"How about this one?" I asked her. Leni looked at my choice closely before turning back to me.
"Are you sure?" she questioned. I shrugged my shoulders like it was not that hard to figure out.
"Well, you two are going out on a date tomorrow, correct?" I asked her. "So, I think it only makes a lot of sense that you should wear something like this for such an occasion. I mean, what you wear on dates are supposed to be very nice and easy on the eyes. At least, that's my opinion, anyway." Leni beamed adorably before wrapping her arms around me, pulling me into a tight hug and squeezing me like an anaconda. I felt like my eyes were going to pop out at any moment.
"Oh, thank you, Linky! You're, like, a major lifesaver!" she said before planting a firm kiss on the side of my face.
"N-No p-p-problem!" I managed to croak out as she continued to nearly crush the life out of me before she finally let me go. With her clothes still in hands, my second eldest sister turned around and headed straight over to her bedroom, leaving my door wide open. I stood back up and dusted myself before wiping my face with the back of my left hand. My sister may have been quite the fashionista but there were times even then when she couldn't decide what to wear for the entire day.
Decidedly, I made a grab for my Sony Watchman from my nightstand and flopped on my bed, pulling up the antenna and flipping on the little handheld electronic device. The first thing I was met with was the sight of a Richard Simmons' "Deal a Meal" infomercial which appeared on the little black-and-white screen.
Energetic and flamboyant like always, eh Richard? I thought with an amused grin. After a while of dialing through the different channels trying to figure out what to watch—while at the same time becoming pretty bored out of my mind seeing as there was nothing on, I heard Dad's voice abruptly call out to me from downstairs.
"Lincoln, your friends are here!" he bellowed.
Excitement shot through me like a bolt of electricity, instantly pulling me out of my dulled stupor. I nearly through my Watchman to the side as I jumped out of bed and pulled out my D&D Basic, Expert, and Companion Set back from under my mattress, and then I darted out to the hallway back towards the stairs as I carried all three boxes in my hands. I made it down to the living room just in time to see Clyde, Conner, Stella, Zach, Rusty, and Liam climbing up the front porch towards the door, bringing along little snacks of their own. I then noticed Shiloh and Shelby following after them, wrapped in towels to dry themselves off.
"Thanks, Leslie!" Dad hollered towards the front yard outside on the porch. I watched as Mrs. Pingrey, who sat in the passenger seat with her husband behind the wheel, waved a hand outside from the car window with a smile.
"Say hello to Rita for us, will ya?" she shouted back.
"Can do!"
"Thanks, Lynn! We'll see you later!" yelled Mr. Pingrey. And with that, the married Pingrey couple drove smoothly away from the curb, and they and their family van disappeared into the neighborhood back home to their place.
"Hey, guys! Ya finally made it!" I said, as Clyde and me high-fived. "Ya ready to get back on the adventure?"
"Oh, you know it, dude!" Clyde said, matching my level of excitement.
"Hey, Lincoln! Aren't these your cousins you told us about?" I remember Conner asking me, gesturing to Shiloh and Shelby who remained close to the front doorway.
"You bet ya, Conner!" I said to him. "This is Shelby and Shiloh. They're from my dad's side of our family."
"N-Nice to meet you guys." Shiloh said very shyly. My youngest cousin had always been pretty shy when it came to meeting new people. Not that I could really fault him for it, every kid goes through that sometimes.
"Lincoln's told us a lot about you guys!" Shelby added after doing a little curtsy. She then looked over at Clyde. "And... you must be Clyde, right?"
"That's right," my childhood best friend said as he nodded and then motioned to the rest of the gang. "And this is Zach, Stella, Rusty, Liam, and Conner."
"Nice to meet you!" Conner said as he extended a hand towards Shelby. My cousin unexpectedly giggled as she grabbed his hand and shook it.
"Oh no, the pleasure is all mine." she muttered in a flirty tone of voice, winking at him with her lips forming into a mischievous smirk. I quickly noticed Conner's cheeks starting to blush a shade of red as a nervous-looking smile creeped up on his face. I couldn't believe what I just saw.
Oh, this is just great! As if Clyde having a crush on Lori wasn't enough to deal with already, I thought, becoming increasingly frustrated. Thinking for a way to make this situation less weird, I made a loud "Ahem!" to grab everyone's attention hoping of break the ice before things would become pretty awkward for us all.
"Anyways! Shall we get started?"
"Yeah, let's get started!" said a different voice coming from behind the group. One that I happened to recognize very easily but was not at all expecting. The gang and I looked back towards outside and saw another kid standing out at the opened doorway who appeared like a smaller version of Rusty. This was Rocky Spokes, Rusty's eight-year-old brother. He had the same curly orange red hair, buck teeth, and face littered with freckles.
Rocky wore a nicely fitting greenish blue sweatshirt with a thick mint green vertical stripe going across the torso as well as a pair of beige colored pants. And covering his feet were a pair of red-and-white Converse shoes. And in case that it wasn't pretty obvious already, yes, he was named after Rocky Balboa. His and Rusty's parents were huge fans of the original Sylvester Stallone movie at the time back in the 1970's. The eight-year-old Spokes boy smiled at us, especially as me.
"Hey, Lincoln!" he greeted me with a small wave. My eyebrows furrowed.
"Rocky? What are you doing here?" I asked him.
"I had no choice but to bring him over," Rusty explained, sounding a bit peeved. "Our parents are still at work today, so I couldn't just leave him home by himself."
"Don't worry, guys," Rocky tried to assure us with a cheerful smile. "I'll be quiet as a church mouse and out of your hair for as long as you need me to be. It'll be like I'm not even here. And since I am here, is it okay if I use your bathroom really quickly? I seriously have to pee." I could tell that he absolutely needed to go by the way he was squirming his legs together, trying his darndest to keep it in.
"Upstairs and down the hall to the left, same place as always." I informed him. After giving me a thumbs up and a "Thank you", Rocky darted up the stairs like there was no tomorrow and turned left in the hallway. The gang and I wasted no further time in setting up everything on the dining room table. As we were doing this, Dad was nice enough to go out of his way in getting our frozen pizzas out and carefully placed them on a cooking tray in the already pre-heated oven and then timed it.
"Your pizzas should be done in fifteen minutes," my father told us perkily. "You kids enjoy your game, alright?"
"Thanks, Dad!" I said back to him. And with that, he walked back outside to the front porch to join Grandpa and Uncle Lance. After assembling where we were going to sit—with me at the end of the table close to the living room and Shiloh and Shelby being closely next to me to my right, we could finally get our game started and show my two cousins a thing or two how role-playing games were actually played.
I looked around at our adventure map and miniatures as well as our written character sheets, their eyes starting to glow with fascination.
A soft rhythmic thumping noise was then heard, and I guessed easily that Rocky was coming back downstairs from the bathroom.
"Is it okay if I watch some TV?" he asked after appearing from the side of the archway.
"Knock yourself out, dude!" I told him before he flopped onto the living room couch. "But just remember to keep the volume down a little bit, okay?" Once this was done, I turned back to face the gang, clapped my hands together, and took a deep breath through my nostrils.
"Alright, guys. Before we begin, let's cut to the chase first," I started. "You're no doubt curious as to why two of my cousins are joining us today. It's simply because they're here to watch us play. The reason for it is because..., well, they're kind of convinced that Dungeons & Dragons is 'evil' and I'm trying to show them it's anything but." The whole gang harmonized in a choir of "Oooohh" upon hearing this information and then nodded their heads in understanding.
I turned my gaze over to Shelby and Shiloh before asking them, "So, what do you guys think?"
"W-What do we think?" Shiloh asked confusingly as he looked over to me.
"Yeah. Like, what do you think of this? Everything?" I said motioning to our entire game laid out around on the table.
"I honestly don't know what to say," Shelby said, massaging the back of his neck. "Well..., more like we didn't know what we were expecting."
"What did you guys think you were going to see?" Zach asked her curiously from his spot at the table. I watched Shelby make a hesitant expression, clearly telling me that she was trying to find the right words to say without offending anyone. She sheepishly scratched the back of her black-haired head before twiddling her fingers.
"W-Well, we were kind of expecting there to be something... you know... unchristian maybe?" she finished saying.
Rusty snorted before smirking, revealing more of his buckteeth.
"Like what? All of us dressed in scary black robes while muttering ominous chants in Latin?" he asked her while resting an elbow on the table.
Shelby bowed her head a little, she and her brother bashfully looking at all of us.
"Just relax, you two," Stella told my cousin, an assuring smile on her face. "Nothing like that is going to happen."
"That's right," Clyde added, sitting over to my left. "And besides, the people who stubbornly claim Dungeons & Dragons 'promotes' that kind of icky stuff are just ignorant and know nothing about how the game is actually played. They only get their information based on word-of-mouth. You know, rumors and hearsay."
"Our advice," Zach started. "Don't be so ready to believe every single word they say on TV. If anything, you'd be much wiser to take them with a huge grain of salt."
Says the kid who dogmatically believes in aliens. I thought, smiling mentally.
"Like I told you guys at Giovanni's yesterday," I said with an assuring smile of my own, "there's nothing for you to be worried about in the slightest. None of us are going to be 'brainwashed' or anything like that. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the show." Before we could even start, we heard a loud DING! echo from the kitchen.
"Oh, sounds like our pizzas are done!" I announced.
We went over to the kitchen, and being careful as I was able to be, opened the oven and pulled out the large tray with two matching oven mitts, our pizzas fully baked to perfection. Getting our own plates, we took our pizzas with us and came back to the table. But since our food were pretty hot, so we opted to play while they cooled off. I rubbed my hands together in anticipation—and with just a growing fraction of impatience given I wanted to start playing already by that point.
"Alright, no more distractions! Let the adventure continue!" I said before setting up my homemade gamemaster screen and unfolded it out in front of me—one which I had intricately designed out of a piece of cardboard. Hey, sometimes, you have to utilize whatever you have at home to make up for not possessing the correct amount of money to buy the right stuff. I rubbed my chin in wonder and then out loud muttered, "Now, where exactly did we leave off at...?"
"We were just about to explore the abandoned keep," Clyde informed me. "Right after Conner's Halfling Thief was able to lockpick the front door."
"Oh yeah, that's right," I exclaimed. You didn't actually believe that we still had our game paused for two months straight after having defeated the Demogorgon this whole time, did you? We were long past that at this point. I cleared my throat and spoke up—not before making sure Shiloh and Shelby were paying close attention.
"After finally entering through the aged wooden door," I narrated in a low and dramatic-sounding voice, "you are all greeted by a dank and musty smell which hung strongly in the air, assaulting each of your nostrils. You realize right away that it is the smell of decay and neglect. A gust of chilled air suddenly belches out, a clear indication that there's no warmth to be found in this seemingly forsaken place, and before you were nothing but the near cold void of darkness..."
The passage of time went by in a near blurry haze as we explored through the abandoned keep while being careful not to trigger any possible traps while searching through treasure chests along the way—thanks to some quick-thinking and dice-rolling. We came upon a knife-wielding bandit here and there, but we managed to make short work of them, flying through without a hitch. I wasn't sure how long we were playing that time, but I was very positive that it was nearly half an hour.
During that whole time, Shane, as well as two or three of my sisters, would come back inside to either use the bathroom upstairs or to help themselves to some ice-cold sodas, waters, and ice-cream cups from the fridge in the kitchen as well as a fresh glass of lemonade.
"Ugh, you guys are still playing that stupid nerd's game?" I remember Lori saying with an annoyed scoff. I noticed from the corner of my right eye that Clyde quickly looked away and desperately stuffed his nose with torn pieces of tissue paper from his pants pocket. I swore I saw blood beginning to ooze out his nostrils.
"Honestly, Linky! You really need to get yourself a new hobby!" Lana added before the two of them walked back outside.
"At least I actually have a hobby..." I murmured to myself under my breath. Throughout most of the playthrough so far, I made a few glances here and there towards Shelby and Shiloh's direction, taking note of how heavily invested my two cousins were already becoming. I then narrated that my Human Fighter noticed Conner's Halfling Thief about to be stabbed in the back by a sword-wielding Orc who was sneaking up directly behind him. After speedily rolling the dice for initiative and getting a high point, Conner was able to swiftly dodge the sneak attack, and he subdued his assailant. He wiped his brow in relief.
"It's all in the reflexes." he said like it was nothing, before taking a bite of his pizza.
"Can you quiet down a little bit over there?" I heard Rocky call out from the living room, ripping our attentions away. "I'm trying to watch Looney Tunes!"
"Sorry, dude!" I called back before re-focusing on our game. Quiet as a church mouse, huh?
"Wow! You can be the Dungeon Master AND play a character in the game too?" Shiloh asked me in bewilderment.
"That's right!" I answered honestly with a nod.
"You're not strictly limited to doing one thing over the other?" Shelby questioned.
"You bet ya, little cousin!" I told her.
Back around that timeframe, I was what's known in the D&D community as a "Dungeon Master Player Character", or simply a "DMPC" for short. There's no need to explain it because the title—and based on what Shiloh had asked me—pretty much says it all. Sorry if I forgot to mention this little detail a lot earlier until now. Better late than never, I guess. As we were about to get back to our adventure through the keep, our attention was pulled away once again when the front door opened wide. We watched as Mom and Aunt Sharon walked into the living room, and they both smiled when they saw us.
"Hey, kids! What are you doing?" Aunt Sharon asked Shelby and Shiloh.
"Oh, we're just watching Lincoln and his friends play their game." Shelby stated honestly. Aunt Sharon raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah? What kind of game?" she asked curiously, sounding interested. Shiloh shrugged his little shoulders like it wasn't a big deal.
"Dungeons & Dragons!" my youngest cousin responded, which instantly caused Aunt Sharon to frown, and she looked over at Mom concernedly.
"Don't worry, it's not as bad as you might think," Mom assured her sister-in-law with a small smile.
"Are you sure, Rita?" my aunt asked.
"Of course I'm sure," my mother said, putting a hand on her shoulder to help her relax. "Lynn and I've watched them play all the time. It's completely okay." From that moment, I took this opportunity to pause our session and then introduce my aunt to my friends. She smiled delightfully as she met each of them one by one.
"It's so nice to meet you all!" she said with an air of bubbliness. "My nephew has told me a lot about you guys!"
"Alright, Lincoln," Mom said. "Sharon and I will leave you all back do it. We're gonna go hang outside with everybody else for a while." And with that, the two adult Loud women walked back outside to visit Grandpa and their husbands. Rocky leaned over to my direction and he commented, "Your aunt is pretty nice." before he walked back over to the living room couch to watch TV. I turned back to face my friends.
"How about it, guys?" I asked them. "Shall we continue or do you wanna call it a day?"
"No! Please! Don't stop!" Shiloh begged.
"Yeah, we want to see how the rest of this adventure plays out!" added Shelby in excitement. I smiled warmly at hearing two of my cousins say this to me. Never had anybody else outside our friendship circle shown the same interests as I did, let alone the wrongly labeled "infamous" tabletop fantasy role-playing game of all time. It did me so proud to see both my cousins actually becoming invested and having fun. I looked over at the rest of the gang, waiting for their response.
"Eh, fine with me," Rusty said shrugging his shoulders. "Wasn't planning to take a break anyhow."
And so, we merrily continued on with our game session, the passage of time once more becoming a hazy blur...