(The following is a nonprofit work of fanfiction and is outside of the original canon. All names, characters, businesses, places, events, and/or incidents of any kind depicted within this story are being used for entertainment purposes only.)
(The Loud House and all related characters were created by Chris Savino and all rights belong to Nickelodeon.)
- Chapter Twenty-Seven -
Afterparty
By the time the gang and I had finished up our session, the clock had read two thirty-five.
If you counted the time when we started, it meant that we had been playing for fifty minutes, which was ten minutes away from being an hour. I'll try not to bore you with the overabundant details, so I'll do what I can to give you the short version. I narrated that our party traveled even deeper and deeper through the abandoned keep, exploring underground dungeons and searching every nook and cranny for treasure, fighting enemies and wild animals that threatened our lives.
By this point in time, Shiloh and Shelby had already become completely invested in our game, hanging onto every narrated word that I said to try and make the story a lot more interesting and suspenseful. And there were also a few times where Shelby gave a flirty wink towards Conner's way, which was really starting to get on my nerves. From the corner of my left eye, I couldn't help but notice Lucy sitting next to Rocky on the living room couch, her pale face blushing red as they talked about what horror movie they liked. At least the ones they were allowed to watch anyway.
And yes, Lucy, the nine-year-old spooky goth girl of our family, had a giant crush on Rocky, in case me mentioning her blushing in front of him wasn't obvious enough. It was so weird to see that, considering that she barely shows any other emotion outside of her usual dreariness and melancholic aura. I guess love really was in the air that summer, and even the scariest of people could find it too. But I'm kind of rabbit trailing here, so let's get back to D&D. It was then I narrated that our party finally came upon a large double wooden door which led into what appeared to be some kind of sacrificial chamber.
The foreboding atmosphere put us all in an immediate sense of uneasiness.
I then narrated that before we could even realize what it was for, emerging from the shadows came a horrifying monster that came in the form of what is known commonly as a Lich. And what is that, you ask? Just to give you a pretty terrifying idea of what that is, a Lich is basically an emaciated undead spellcaster. In other words, they're zombie necromancers that have the ability to raise and control the undead to do their bidding.
If that description alone wasn't pure nightmare fuel for you, then I don't know what is.
"Oh, come on! A Lich?!" Rusty nearly exclaimed in full disbelief.
"We're so dead, man!" Zach exclaimed in a state of growing despair. "Game over, man! Game over!"
"What do we do? What do we do?" Liam went frantically.
"Clyde, act now! Quick!" I urged him hastily.
"I-I-I don't know what to do!" Clyde stuttered.
"Dude, just throw a fireball at him!" Conner ordered anxiously. For those curious, Clyde was the Wizard of our party, making him our second magic-user other than Stella, who was the Elven Cleric.
"Nuh-uh, way too risky!" Rusty protested. "I say he should cast a protection spell instead!"
"And I say Clyde should cast a fireball!" Conner argued back. As the gang started to argue over what should be done, and with time running out, Clyde, unable to make up his mind, anxiously quickly grabbed a hold of the dice. He hesitated for a moment before finally blurting out the first words that came out from his mouth...
"Fireball!" he managed to sputter as he tossed the dice before our adventure map.
We all stopped, like time itself had frozen us all in place before we looked over at the table where the dice were, fearful thoughts of possibly the worst racing through our minds. By a stroke of luck, the dice read fourteen. To cast a fireball spell, you'd have to roll for thirteen points or higher. We all cheered before I narrated that Clyde's fireball had blasted the Lich right in the face, setting its black robes aflame in the process and stunning it for a moment. What followed next was a flurry of attacks from both sides, and in a matter of a few more risky dice-rolling later, we defeated the Lich, sending the unholy monster back from whence it came.
In the end, some of us were left in pretty bad shape, but there was nothing a little healing from Stella's Elvin Cleric couldn't fix. Our intense battle thankfully came with some good rewards in the form of enchanted weaponry and armor as well as some items we could either sell or make good use of. We each leaned back in our seats, sighing in both tiredness and relief that this part of our quest was over. Rusty and Liam wiped some sweat from their brows as Clyde cleaned the lenses of his glasses with his shirt—even Shelby and Shiloh seemed pretty exhausted, and they weren't even playing.
"And here I thought the Demogorgon was tough." Zach muttered.
We then instantly became alert when the front door swung open, and Dad's head appeared from the side.
"Hey! Could you kids keep it down a bit?" he commanded, his voice mildly peppered in irritation.
"Heh! I was just about to say the same thing, Mr. Loud!" Rocky commented from the living room, he and Lucy still watching whatever show or cartoon was playing on the old Zenith. I could have sworn I saw them starting to hold hands.
"Oh, sorry, Dad!" I said, feeling a little awkward.
"Look, I don't mind you and your friends playing your game, Lincoln," my father said. "Just try and keep all the yelling and excitement down to a minimum, alright?"
"Sure thing, Mr. Loud," Clyde responded as he adjusted his glasses. "We're pretty much done for today anyway."
And with that, Dad headed back outside to join the rest of our family—not before Uncle Lance popped inside moving passed my old man, saying that he had to use the bathroom and marched upstairs to the hallway. The gang and I gathered up our character sheets, dice, miniatures, and I placed them away in their respected boxes, and then I neatly stacked them into one corner of the dining room table.
"That was totally righteous, Lincoln!" Shelby commented excitedly.
"Yeah! I had no idea D&D was played like that!" Shiloh added. "And here we were being worried over nothing!"
"See? I told you guys you'd enjoy yourselves," I said to my two cousins. "Nothing like what they said about it on TV, right?"
"Oh, not even close or a little bit!" Shelby said with an agreeing nod.
"Glad you two had fun watching us," Clyde spoke up. As he was about to say more, Uncle Lance came waltzing back down the stairs after using the bathroom upstairs. He smiled when he saw Shiloh and Shelby.
"Hey, kids! Did you enjoy watching Lincoln's game?"
"We sure did, Dad!" Shiloh answered. "It was downright tubular!"
"Yeah!" Shelby added. "They went searching for treasure in an abandoned keep, fought some bad guys, and just defeated an evil Lich!" My uncle staired down at my two cousins, his smile fading into a frown, and his eyebrows puckered in total confusion.
"A what?" he asked.
"A Lich!" Shiloh repeated his sister's words. Uncle Lance turned over to my direction, his mind still at a loss.
"And that is...?" I shrugged my scrawny shoulders like it was no big deal.
"Oh, just an evil zombie wizard monster," I explained. "Nothing to be concerned about."
"Nothing to be concerned about?" Rusty questioned. "We barely survived by the skin of our teeth going up against that thing! My Dwarven Avenger was literally down to just one health point!"
"Yeah!" Zach agreed. "If it weren't for Liam's Human Ranger, we would all be dead right now!"
"That's right! Deader than roadkill grillin' under a hot summer sun in the middle of July!" Liam quipped. Uncle Lance's smile returned, and he let out a heartily amused chuckle.
"So, that's what all that yelling was earlier," he said to us. "Sounds like you kids had quite the adventure!"
"You don't know the half of it, Mr. Loud," Clyde responded. "This is but one of the countless adventures found in the fantastic and imaginative world of D&D." Uncle Lance raised a curious eyebrow.
"Is that right?" he asked. "How close are you guys to beating the game at this point?" It became our turn to look up at him in confusion.
"Beating?" Stella said. "You mean, like, winning?" My uncle nodded his brown-haired head.
"That's not how Dungeons & Dragons is played, Uncle Lance," I explained. "The goal is not about winning or competing against everybody else. It's not the same as playing a board game like Monopoly or Candy Land."
"It isn't?" he confusingly asked before scratching the side of his head. "Then what exactly IS the goal?"
"Why, to tell a fun and exciting story, of course." Conner stated, a smile plastered on his face. Uncle Lance rubbed a finger against his chin in deep thought, muttering a simple, "Interesting..." before he finally spoke again. And by the sudden look of his face, I could tell that something was gnawing at him inside his mind.
"If you kids don't mind me asking," he said. "What am I to expect should there ever come a time where I decide to play it for myself in the future?"
"Nothing satanic or unchristian, that's for dang sure." Shiloh answered, followed with a nod from Shelby.
"Believe me when I say this, Uncle Lance," I began, "—and I think I speak for every Dungeons & Dragons player out there across the country; the game is only safe and innocent so long as you make it so. It completely depends on your imagination and also how you and the Dungeons Master play the game itself."
"Yeah! You're more than welcome to watch us play sometime—if you're interested that is," Clyde said. A one-sided smirk appeared on my uncle's face as he turned to Clyde's direction.
"That's real nice of you to say, Clyde," he said as his tone changed to one of slight disappointment. "But as much as I would like to do so, I'm afraid that won't be able to happen in the nearest future. My family and I have only about two days left before we drive back home... Buuuut if you guys are planning on doing this sometime tomorrow..."
"Oh, sorry, Mr. Loud," Conner began. "We won't be playing D&D at that time. Each of us already have our own separate plans for Tuesday."
"Aaawww!" Shiloh and Shelby whined, their arms drooping in disappointment.
"Yeah, sorry, guys," I said to them.
All our attention was pulled away when the front door suddenly swung open, revealing Lori who stood at the mouth of the doorway, looking less than happy. I then noticed that the skin of her arms and her shoulders were now a light shade of red. I quickly realized that my poor eldest sister had gotten sunburnt. From the corner of my eye, I noticed Clyde once again twisting around and heading over to the kitchen, saying something about getting a cold glass of water. I knew already what was up, and it was that my best friend didn't want to risk having another nosebleed.
I lowkey rolled my eyes with a frown.
Uncle Lance couldn't help but chuckle in slight amusement at Lori's predicament.
"What's the matter, kiddo! Forgot your sunblock?" he teased.
It wouldn't be the first time either. I mentally quipped.
All my older sister could do was let out an annoyed groan as her response as she walked past our uncle towards the stairs. What followed next was the rest of the family who came pouring all at once into the living room from the summer heat outside, Lola and Lana covering themselves in towels, their blond hair dripping wet, and Lynn and Shane sweating like a pair of fountains, Charles following behind them with the frisbee in his drooling mouth. We were like a giant family of sardines packed into one can, which was always almost ninety percent at the time for us back then.
"Hey, kids! Your ride's here!" Dad announced before heading over to the kitchen. I walked over to the opened front door and out into the patio. And sure enough, Conner's family van was parked once more in front of the curb, like it had never left to begin with, this time Carol drove it from behind the wheel. From a distance, she honked her car's horn two times and then she waved out at me. Being the nice guy that I was, I returned the gesture. One by one, Conner, Clyde, Stella, Zach, Liam, Rusty, and Rocky walked outside and headed straight over to the Pingrey family van at the other end of the yard.
"We'll pick this up next time, guys!" I called out.
"It was nice meeting you!" Shiloh shouted with a wave.
"Hope to see you again sometime!" Shelby added before blowing a flirty kiss towards Conner's way.
Oh, brother... I mentally groaned.
"We'll see you later, Lincoln!" Clyde called back after the gang had climbed into the van in a single filed line. And so, the van eased out of the driveway and disappeared into the neighborhood once again, taking my friends along with it.
"Well, that was fun." I commented with a sharp sigh. Shiloh and Shelby, however, were looking a little down despite the pleasant summer weather.
"Too bad we're going home in two days," Shiloh muttered.
"Yeah! Now I just want to move here so I can play D&D with you guys!" Shelby added. I gave my two cousins a reassuring smile and wrapped my arms around their shoulders, pulling them closer to me.
"Don't worry, guys," I said. "You'll get your chances. I promise." With this, we headed back inside to the living room, and as Shelby went upstairs to Lola and Lana's bedroom, Shiloh and I made our way over to the kitchen to grab ourselves a couple of Cedar Crest ice cream cups from the freezer. The refreshingly blended flavors of orange and vanilla assaulted my tastebuds, the chilling cold washing over my entire mouth.
"That hit the spot." I murmured blissfully as my youngest cousin, and I walked back out to the living room. I was here that my ears perked, having caught a very interesting conversation Shane and the adults were having. And it sounded to me like they were talking about phones and such, which I thought sounded weird. But it wasn't until what they started to say next which got me all the more curious.
"I mean, who knows? Maybe someday cellular phones will become so light and convenient," I heard Shane say from the rocking chair next to the left side of the couch, "everyone in the country—if not the entire world—will be carrying one. Maybe even to the point where payphones will become totally outdated and nonexistent by then."
"How light do you think they would be though?" Aunt Sharon asked.
Shane paused to think about it for a second before giving his response.
"Eh, I'd probably say light enough to easily fit inside your own pocket."
"Now that'd be pretty tubular," Lori quipped after having come back down the stairs from her bedroom, her arms and shoulders now covered in Noxzema skin lotion. "Would be a lot easier to carry around than a Motorola."
"I sure second that, sis!" Luna added, sitting comfortably on the floor with her legs crossed next to the old Zenith.
"I think it would be totally bodacious if they could also take pictures," Leni joined in suddenly, having caught on to the conversation as well. "You know, just like a camera."
"Wow! Now THAT would be really something!" Grandpa said, still holding Lily in his arms.
"I think it would also be really clutch if they could play music too." Lynn joined as well.
"Do you think they might also have screens?" I abruptly asked, wanting now to be part of their discussion, and forgetting about my ice cream cup in my hand for a moment. Almost the entire family within the living room traced all their eyes over towards my direction, eyebrows puckered in confusion.
"Screens?" they harmonized in near unison.
"Yeah, like little television screens," I explained to them. "You know, kind of like my Sony Watchman. Think about it for one moment. We'd also have a phone which could let us watch movies like a handheld TV set—OH! And maybe even let us play games too! Now that I would gladly pay a good amount of money to see!"
"So, let me see if I'm getting this all straight here," Mom piped up, her voice peppered with doubt. "A phone that can fit inside your pocket, take pictures like a camera, play music, and has a screen where we can watch movies, TV shows, and play games on...? I don't know, you guys. This is all starting to sound waaay too good to be true." Hearing this made everybody frown, doubt filling up their minds as well.
"You know, when you put it like that, Mom," Lynn said, "it does kind of sound pretty far-fetched—if not ridiculous. Like something only Lisa would be able to cook up in her lab and it wouldn't work on the first try." At this, I saw Lisa gaze over at our female jock for a sister, a dirty look plastered on her five-year-old bespectacled face.
"Well, you never truly know what the future might have in store, guys," I said, trying my best to sound optimistic about the subject as I grabbed my little wooden spoon to take another small bite of my ice cream. "I'm quite positively sure that in thirty years from now, all of us will be living life like in The Jetsons."
"You think we'll have flying cars, robot maids, and wristwatch communicators by then too?" Dad questioned teasingly as he nudged Grandpa's arm.
"I certainly hope so, Lynn," Uncle Lance said. "But hey, like Lincoln just said, you never really know."
"I definitely second that... Although, I'm not too crazy about the idea of having robot maids," Grandpa spoke up from the middle seat of the couch, his aged voice filled with concern. "Or robots in general, for that matter"
"What makes you say THAT, Dad?" Uncle Lance asked.
"Uh, hello!" the elder Loud man answered as if it were obvious. "Did any of you boys watch The Terminator?"
Aunt Sharon snorted, seeming to have picked up really quickly what Grandpa was implying.
"That's just a movie, Leonard." she said. "It's nothing to get all worked up about."
"Hey, it could happen, Sharon," our grandfather countered. "Not saying it will, but it might. In one moment, life will be fine and dandy as always. And then in the next, machines will become self-aware, turn against humanity and then incite a global apocalypse. I swear, nothing is scarier than the idea of artificial intelligence going rogue!"
"Scarier than catching the AIDS virus?" Luna asked, still sitting on the floor next to the TV. Grandpa paused for a moment and then scratched the back of his head, now looking quite unsure about the sudden comparison that was unexpectedly blurted out to him.
"Well..., if you wanna get theoretical about—" he began before he was interrupted.
"Or the entire country going through a secondary economic recession?" Lisa asked.
"I wouldn't really—"
"Or us facing a nuclear disaster a lot like the one in Chernobyl?" Shane said.
"The very idea of what if those commie-loving russkis winning the 1980 Olympics instead of us proud Americans?" Lynn added.
"Shoulder pads and parachute pants going out of style?" Leni spoke; her high-pitched voice seasoned with fear.
Or how about scarier than a slasher villain killing you in your sleep with a bladed glove? I thought, taking another unconscious bite of my ice cream. If only they had known. It was then that I realized how tired I was, and not one plastic cup of ice cream was going to remedy that feeling. I took a sharp breath through my nostrils before craning my neck. Spending nearly an hour-long session playing Dungeons & Dragons can do that to you.
"Well," I sighed, "I don't know about you guys, but I'm just going to head on upstairs to my room. I'm kind of worn out from playing all day."
And so, I marched up the stairs to the second-floor hallway all the while finishing the rest of my Cedar Crest ice cream and headed straight into the room and then I flopped down on my bed after having tossed the now empty ice cream up into my small waste basket and then fished out my trusty Sony Watchman from my nightstand drawer. I once again flipped the little device on and scrolled through the certain number of stations until I came upon the ABC channel.
And what I was met with was the black-and-white image of the cartoon Ewoks. No, I am not making that up. They actually made a Star Wars cartoon series simply called Ewoks. Lasted for only two seasons on ABC from '85 to '86. It wasn't exactly a favorite of mine even though I was a big Star Wars fanboy around that time. Funny enough, it was not the only thing Star Wars related to be given the cartoon treatment in the 80's, for there was a second series that also aired on ABC. It was called Star Wars: Droids: The Adventures of R2-D2 and C-3PO, which I sort of liked more than Ewoks.
The title's quite a mouthful, isn't it?
And believe it or not, they even did a made-for-television movie which was called The Ewok Adventure before it was eventually retitled as Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure as for a limited international release in theaters. I honestly never even knew such a movie even existed until I was bored one day and browsed through the TV trying to find something to watch. And lo and behold, there it was playing on the old Zenith. At least, halfway, anyhow. In my opinion, The Ewok Adventure was not that bad of a movie. But I will say it is LEAGUES better than that abysmal holiday special they did several years before.
Seriously, what were they thinking when they were making that utter travesty? I thought with a grimace expression on my face. After five minutes, I got bored pretty quickly and decided to turn the Watchman off, set it aside, and lay there on my mattress without moving a muscle. Eventually, I closed my eyes and within seconds, I drifted off into sleep, my mind once again being teleported to my own personal dreamland.
If only they had somehow known ahead of time just how far advanced cellphones would become within the next thirties years. That's the thing I like about foreshadowing. LOL.
And yes, believe it or not, there actually were two Star Wars cartoons back in the 1980's, LONG before the existence of the ones we have now, before Clone Wars, The Clone Wars, Rebels, Resistance, and so on.
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So, until then, have a good day and have a good day.
Peace out...