Trudy wasn't supposed to die.

She was supposed to live a long and healthy life. She would always be there for weekly phone calls and holiday cards and the random vacation out to Chicago.

At one point, she was also supposed to be a pseudo grandma for Hailey's children, but that went out the window the last time something happened that wasn't supposed to: when she got a divorce from Jay.

And yet, here Hailey is, settling into a hotel room, in Chicago, alone, without a ring on her finger, for Trudy's funeral.

She hates it.

She hangs her FBI dress uniform in the small closet and slowly unzips its travel bag. Biting her lip, she realizes she's going to have to iron it in preparation for the ceremony in two days.

It's another thing she hates: ironing.

When she lived with Jay, he often ironed her clothes for her. He found the chore mind numbing in a good way, so she'd pass it off to him. Without him, she had no shame in dropping her clothes off at the dry cleaner. She would love to do the same right now, but the funeral's tomorrow, and she doesn't have time to run out to the place she used to frequent.

Kevin had called her the night it happened, and it'd brought Hailey to her knees.

"She was shot, Hail. She…she was shot. Three in the back. They tried, they really tried, but she couldn't…it was too much for her."

She had sobbed.

She hadn't cried like that since she had found out Jay was going to stay in Bolivia. An earth shattering, belly aching cry that took her breath away and made living a chore.

In no world did she ever picture Trudy Platt, the woman who had guided and saved her life, would die. Trudy was strong and determined as hell. She knew exactly what was happening in the city, and ran the 21st district with ease.

Had Hailey not made the move to the FBI field office in Denver, she could have seen herself becoming Trudy one day. It would have taken years and years of work, and perhaps she even would have left Intelligence for a bit before returning to accept the role, but, deep down, she knew it would have brought her life and career full circle.

Now, she can't quite do that. For just over six months, she's been working in Colorado as a Federal Agent. Uprooting her life hadn't been easy, but it gave her a fresh start. The city was beautiful, and she'd become friends with the others she worked with. After a month of living there, they took her out to the mountains to really immerse herself in the land. She had cried upon coming home.

There had been a peace that grew within her that night. She had never pictured herself leaving Chicago, but now she was in a new city that had a breath of fresh air. Literally. She could look out her apartment window and stare at landscapes that she'd only dreamt about. Instead of running until her legs felt like they'd break off, she began hiking - both with and without her coworkers and friends - and got used to the lower air pressure and cooler air. It allowed her heart to restart and begin a new life. The move was giving her soul a chance at survival after the mud it'd been dragged through.

And now, being back in Chicago, she was worried that her soul would revert to how it'd been months before: broken, unrepairable, darkened, and - for lack of a better word - a mess.

But staying away wasn't an option. She'd always planned on returning for Kim and Adam's wedding. They had been through too much as a family for her to ignore their dreams finally coming true. However, she had also anticipated having much more time to prepare for that night. She'd get the invitation and then carefully plan out her flight and hotel before heading out. On the plane, she'd read one of the romance books her friends recommended to her so she wouldn't fall behind on her first ever reading goal and maybe even get some work done if absolutely necessary.

Instead, she had needed to quickly pack her belongings and prepare for a long weekend back in Chicago. There was a visitation the following day with a funeral the next. She didn't have time to overthink it all; she didn't even have time to relax on the plane. Her mind was in overdrive from the second she hung up the call with Kevin to right this moment as she began ironing her dress pants. Everything was a blur, and it wasn't fair. Trudy was gone, Hailey was back in Chicago without her, and she didn't know what to expect from the coming days.

She was afraid she'd feel guilt for leaving or, worse, regret at what she'd done. Talking to Randall could make her feel like, had she been there, she could have saved Trudy herself. If she spoke to Voight, would she suddenly want to return to Intelligence to help pick up the pieces? A conversation with Kim could result in her wanting to return to Chicago and guide her as the only detective within the unit, no small feat, especially without Trudy there as a mentor. Any of them really could set her off and make her come back to return to the unit.

She texted them all and kept in touch. Kim had sent her Makayla's school pictures and followed it up with their Christmas card that lived on her fridge until a week ago because it made her smile every time she looked at it. Adam let her know about his dad when he just needed to vent one night. Kevin sent her a bouquet of flowers for starting her new job, and even Voight had sent her a 'good luck' text. They were her family even after she'd moved on without them. She could leave Chicago, but leaving the unit was even harder to do.

She didn't necessarily think it was a terrible thing. She needed people to lean on; she'd learned that much over the last few years of her life. They supported her and loved her and checked in on her when all she wanted to do was cry in her bed for days on end. Having that support system was something she was incredibly grateful for as she began her new life in Denver.

Within her office, she's becoming friends with most of the others. She's not quite sure that she'd consider any of them close friends, certainly not at the level of friendship that she'd left behind in Intelligence, but they were fun to hang out with and she trusted them enough to have her back when things got rough out in the field.

Thinking of them, she sighs and sets her iron down to text her partner. She'd promised James that when she got settled, she'd reach out to confirm she was good.

~ In the hotel. Just ironing my uniform before showering. It's not something I want to do tomorrow. Thanks for checking in ~

She didn't need to wait long for the replies to come in, and they quickly brought a smile to her face.

~ Ironing is a stupid chore. Glad to know you're good, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't tracking your flight the entire time ~ James Price

~ Lol you didn't need to do that! But thank you ~

~ Are you really going to just shower and go to bed? Go get a drink! ~ James Price

~ I don't need a drink. I need to wash this flight off so that I'm good to go for tomorrow. The visitation starts at 2 ~

~ Which is plenty of time to sleep off a hangover. Go relax at the hotel bar and get a drink, Hailey ~ James Price

~ Do you need me to send you a venmo or something? ~ James Price

~ Or are you worried about something else? ~ James Price

Hailey sighs at the final text and leans against the nearby wall.

She and James had been partnered for approximately two hours before James asked her about her previous partner. Her heart had dropped at the question, but James just wanted to know her history, and she assumed it was fair enough. In her new break room, that was much nicer than anywhere she'd ever worked before, she had to admit that she really didn't have a partner for the last two years because of her position within the unit. James noticed the loophole and pushed for her actual last partner, and that's where she disclosed that she was married to the man who used to watch her six during the work day before going home to be her best friend and the person she loved the most in the world.

She didn't - couldn't - use those exact words, but James was able to read between the lines.

Over the next few months of their partnership, James occasionally got her to open up about her previous relationship. Through those conversations, she was able to let go of some of her heavy feelings and begin to look toward a future that potentially included someone else by her side.

As the conversations about Jay became less and less, James still found a way to bring him up just a couple days prior when Hailey was filing for time off for a couple days to fly out to Chicago.

"Do you think Jay's going to be there?"

At the time, Hailey wasn't even sure if he was back in the United States, but as she stewed on the question more and more, she realized that it was entirely possible. He could have returned to Chicago or the US without telling her. After they got divorced and she moved out of their apartment, she sent him a text letting him know that all his belongings were still in their storage unit that they once shared. She transferred ownership to him and asked for his email to send him all the paperwork. His reply had been short and to the point, and it'd made her feel a little guilty about it all, but after a night of staring wide awake at her ceiling, she pushed that feeling to the side. If Jay wanted to share a storage unit with her, then he wouldn't have divorced her. It was as simple as that.

What wasn't simple was debating if he also got a call from Kevin or Adam or even Dante to attend the funeral. She can't see why he wouldn't have. When they were still married, he didn't really reach out to any of their friends. She was lucky to get a text or phone call, and she knew Will was in the same boat. Their friends were constantly in the dark, only living with the information that she even cared to pass along to them.

However, Trudy had always liked Jay even when she thought he was doing stupid things. She thought he was smart and a good detective and was so happy for Hailey when they started dating. Telling Trudy about their relationship was one of the things Hailey was most worried about because she did care what Trudy had to say about the two of them. Even when she told Trudy she was going to ask Jay for a divorce, Trudy had asked her if she was completely sure about it. When she confirmed that this was what she needed, Trudy had then been the one to find her a lawyer to help her throughout the process.

Because of that, she could have seen someone saying Jay shouldn't be invited, but Hailey didn't even know who else knew of that besides herself. Kevin certainly didn't know, and she wouldn't be surprised if he was the one who reached out since he's the one who called her.

And Jay did belong here at the funeral. He'd been in Intelligence even longer than Hailey and worked with Trudy for most of his career. She knew he'd want to go and pay his respects. He should have been invited, she just didn't want to be the one to do it.

She chews her bottom lip for a moment then slowly responds to James's text.

~ If you're talking about Jay, he should be here in the city for Trudy, but I'm not going to run into him at the hotel bar. There are plenty of hotels for him to stay in. I'm not worried about seeing him tonight ~

~ And I don't need your money ~

She sighs and tilts her head back against the wall. Closing her eyes, she finally allows herself to wonder whether or not she wants to see him over the next few days. While he should be here, she doesn't necessarily want to talk to him. She doesn't even know what she'd say to him. Their last communication was about the damn storage unit; it wasn't exactly a typical 'wish you well' talk.

Perhaps, if he is here and does attend the funeral, she could just ignore him. They don't have to talk to each other. She has plenty of other people to catch up with. He was not the only person she left behind.

And, then again, he might not even be here, and all this really could be for nothing. Maybe he didn't get an invite. Maybe he was busy. Maybe he was even still in Bolivia. If that was the case, maybe he didn't even get the invitation in time to get a plane ticket and leave.

The thought of all the reasons as to why Jay's not currently in Chicago calms Hailey's heartrate enough that she's able to look back at her phone and James's reply, and she's glad she did. Her partner has grown to learn how to make her smile when her mind is racing no matter the situation.

~ I said nothing about Jay. Jay who? I don't know who you possibly could be talking about ~ James Price

~ And because of that, I'm sending you $20. Go get a drink, Hailey. Relax. This weekend isn't going to be easy for you, so you might as well take a second for yourself. Funerals suck. Alcohol is necessary ~ James Price

~ Just got the notification. Thank you. I owe you one. I'll finish ironing then I'll head down ~

~ Send a picture of your drink! ~ James Price

"Will do," she breathes in reply before pocketing her phone. Running a hand through her hair, she sighs and decides to follow through with her commitment. Within ten minutes, her uniform is ironed and hanging up in the closet and she's heading downstairs with her wallet to get a drink.

One drink, she tells herself. Just enough to calm her nerves and grief and get her ready for bed.

On the night Kevin had called her to tell her what had happened, she'd curled up on her couch with a bottle of wine and drank it straight out of the bottle. She'd started off by pouring it into a glass, but that seemed useless when she refilled it and realized she was going to want it all.

Her mind was spinning by the end of it all, and she fell asleep right there without even moving to put her pajamas on. When her phone went off the next morning with a call from James asking where she was, her previously untouched dinner was sitting cold next to it on the coffee table. She started her day by getting sick in her bathroom before taking the fastest shower she'd ever had and running into the office. She ended up being forty-five minutes late, but her boss was cool enough to let it slide because of some overtime she'd put in two days prior, in addition to her telling him that she was going to need a few days off for a funeral back in Chicago.

And now she's here having to live through it all. She was told to take all the time she needs, but she knows Trudy wouldn't want her to make a giant fuss out of it all. She could attend the funeral and talk to her friends, and then she needed to return to Colorado where she was moving forward with her life.

"Uh, just a double shot of whiskey. Thanks," she says to the bartender once she's settled onto a bar stool.

Sighing, she glances around the bar at the handful of other people who are here. Most of them seemed to be here on business, at least, they were dressed in suits and nicer clothes. She was still in her airport outfit: a pair of joggers and a hoodie. No part of her is embarrassed, though: she won't be here long.

The bartender sets the glass in front of her, and she smiles her thanks before taking a sip. Closing her eyes, she breathes in slowly as the alcohol slips through her system.

Trudy should be here.

None of it was fair.

She looked up to Trudy and had pictured her at all of her major life events - both personally and professionally. She was supposed to be here.

A tear slips down her cheek, so she wipes it away before taking a big sip of her drink. It burns her throat, but she doesn't care. It's a feeling that isn't grief, and she welcomes it. Over the past two years of her life, she had been through so much pain and heartbreak that it wasn't fair that it wasn't yet ending.

She needed a break.

With one more sip, the whiskey is gone.

Hailey breathes in shakily and reaches for her wallet. If she stays any longer, she's sure to either get too drunk to make her way back up to her room or - worse - start crying even more in front of all these strangers.

As she's rifling through her cash, she senses the bartender in front of her and looks up.

"You can put that away, ma'am," he says softly, "Someone's offered to pay for your drink."

Her eyes widen, and she shakes her head. "No, no, I-I can pay."

"I'm sure you can," he replies, "But your drink has been covered by another customer. I can get you another if you insist on paying, but this one is all set."

Hailey blinks, and another tear dislodges from her eye. "I…thank you. That's very kind."

"Don't thank me," he says, "Thank the gentleman down there."

"Oh."

Hailey nods and wipes at her face before looking down the bar. There's a couple flirting over a glass of wine, two men talking to each other and pointing at a folder of packets, and then two sitting seats apart from each other: one who seems to be staring at her and one who looks like Jay.

She sucks in a breath and stumbles off the bar stool.

It's not Jay.

Well, it might be.

He has dark brown hair that's slightly curled against her forehead and a trimmed beard over a freckled face. The way he sips at his own glass of whiskey looks familiar, and she knows she's seen that profile before.

But she can't see his eyes, and there's a dark scar on the back of his hand. He's not Jay.

He's not.

She slowly backs away from the bar while keeping her eyes on the man. He picks up his phone and stares at it for a moment before answering a call. There's a brief smile on his face, and her stomach drops.

It's Jay.

He has to be.

Turning around, she quickly makes her way to the elevator and shoves her finger to the button until the doors open in front of her. She needs to get to her room. She needs to be somewhere safe where she can be alone with her thoughts.

The door slams behind her once she arrives, and her clothes are suddenly being pushed from her overheated skin. If she gets in the shower fast enough, then she can forget about what she just saw.

Jay was here in the same hotel she was in. There had to have been hundreds of hotels in the entire city of Chicago, and yet her ex-husband who practically vanished without a trace was staying in the exact same one as her.

What were the chances?

The water is freezing as she steps beneath it, and it takes her breath away for a moment before she presses the heels of her hands into her eyes.

Trudy was gone, but Jay was here. What a coincidence.

And for him to buy her a drink when she was at her lowest? It was insulting. He didn't even have the balls to walk over and say 'hello.' What kind of loser did he become?

Hailey shakes the thought from her head and sniffles, pressing the back of her hand to her nose. Jay isn't a loser, and he never was one. He just broke her heart into a million pieces after telling her that she was the love of his life. She was the one who was stupid enough to believe him.

Had he actually thought she was the love of his life, he wouldn't have signed the divorce papers she sent. He would have fought for her. So, no, he wasn't a loser, he was just a liar.

And somehow that was even worse.

Hailey managed to drag herself from the shower long after her fingers had gone pruny, and the combination of steam and whiskey lulled her to sleep atop the covers of the king sized mattress. She was disappointed in herself upon waking up.

Still, though, she forced herself to get out of bed and go about her morning. She had plans with her mother for breakfast before she was going to make her way over to the funeral home for the visitation.

When she heard that she was going to be in town for the funeral, Kim invited her to spend some extra time with her, Makayla, and Adam, but she didn't want to intrude, especially not when she knew they were practically on borrowed time with Bob. She would see them later in the day, and that was fine; she could wait.

Besides, a part of her missed her mom. While their relationship was complicated at best, the woman still cared for her. And, without Trudy now, she felt like she needed to put a better effort into it.

Their breakfast together was quiet, with both of them dodging around talking directly about Hailey's father. Just because she wanted to talk to her mom more didn't mean she wanted to hear about how her dad was doing.

She hated that she felt similarly about Jay now. She wanted to see her friends and catch up on all she'd missed in addition to reminiscing about Trudy, but she didn't necessarily want to talk about or to Jay. Now that she knew he was going to be at the funeral, she was especially not looking forward to the afternoon. It'd be nearly impossible to talk to anyone without him being in her sight or within the circle of conversation.

Her life had moved forward since Chicago, and she needed to focus on that. She had a great job, great friends, even a great apartment. She loved her life in Colorado. It was beautiful and different than living in Chicago. The cases she worked were still challenging, but she didn't have to stay working until midnight. She had a real sleep schedule and frequented the gym. She even joined a yoga class with one of the girls from the tech part of her department. All of that was wonderful and brought her a happiness she hadn't felt in years when she lived in Chicago.

Seeing Jay should not be the thing that makes all of that go away. Her progress on herself was something to be proud of, and she should have the right to share it with those who loved her back in Chicago.

Stepping into the funeral home, Hailey takes a deep breath and wipes her fingers under her eyes before offering a small smile to the workers that stand to greet everyone. There's a sign with Trudy's picture on it pointing her in the direction of the already filled room.

It's filled with people. Hailey recognizes many from the police department, but there are also several firefighters there in support of Randall. She didn't anticipate that so many people would be here already, not when the visitation started just half an hour before. But Trudy was loved and respected. She deserved this.

"Hailey."

Adam's arms wrap around her before she even sees his face. For a brief moment, Hailey welcomes the hug, but then she remembers why she's getting it, and her heart drops. Tears come to her eyes as she turns to hug him back.

"How is this real?" she whispers into his navy button down.

"I don't know," he replies, "I really, really don't know."

He lets her go, and she steps back to take a breath. His eyes are red-rimmed, but she still manages a smile at his appearance. "You look good," she says softly.

He chuckles darkly and shrugs. "I…thanks. Thank you. So do you. Come here, we're set up in the corner. You can put your coat down and then talk to Mouch."

Hailey nods and wipes at her eyes before following him over to her friends. She smiles upon seeing them all and accepts their quiet, supportive hugs.

Jay's not with them, and a part of her is surprised given the amount of other people that are here; however, there's Kevin, Kim, Dante, and a girl who introduces herself as Kiana. A part of her wonders if Jay really hadn't been at the hotel bar the night before and that maybe she had just imagined it all. Her mind really could have been playing tricks on her if she was putting so much effort into worrying about seeing him or running into him this weekend.

She pushes the thought from her mind, though, so that she can make her way to the front of the room and greet Randall. Their conversation is brief and filled with her apologies. He both brushes them to the side and accepts them. He knows how much Trudy meant to Hailey, and his own condolences bring even more tears to her eyes.

She can't hold them in as she kneels next to Trudy's casket and tries to think of what to say, but there are no real words that she can come up with to properly express the love she felt for the woman who was behind all the decisions she'd made in her life. Everything she was was because of Trudy and the compassion she had shown her when she was just a young girl. Without Trudy in her life, who knows how long it would have taken Robbery-Homicide to solve the case at her diner? What would she have done with her life? Would she even be a cop? Perhaps she would be, but she probably would not have gone into Robbery-Homicide. She probably wouldn't have even joined Intelligence.

Without Trudy, she wouldn't have experienced any of the last ten years of her life. The good and the bad. The late night cases and the early mornings. The friendships and the support system she had built. The love and loss. She was who she was because of this woman, and now she was never going to get the opportunity to properly thank her for it.

"I'm sorry," she whispers through her tears, "I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you these last few months. Calling you wasn't enough. I should have visited. I should have invited you out to Denver. You would have loved it. You…You could have seen my office and-and met my partner and…there was so much we could have done. I'm so sorry, Trudy. I'm so, so sorry."

Squeezing her eyes shut, she tries composing herself so that she can stand up. She can't do this. It's too hard. She's said 'goodbye' to grandparents and coworkers, but none have ever hurt like this. With Garrett's death, there was the uncertainty of it all, so she didn't exactly have closure. It was painful, but it wasn't earth shattering like this because she could hold out hope. Even with losing Jay, at least he was out there alive. He broke her heart and left her alone, but that resulted in more anger than anything. The grief she felt for their relationship wasn't the end of the world. She had found a way to move on.

Now, she didn't even know how she was going to function for the rest of the day.

However, she knows that she has to. She was not the only person whose life was touched by Trudy. Others deserved to say their own 'goodbye' as well.

So she forces her legs to function and pushes off the bench to stand up. Wiping her eyes, she sniffles and whispers, "Rest easy, Trudy. Thank you for everything."

She turns to make her way along the rows and rows of flowers that people had given her. Personally, she had sent a small arrangement of a variety of white flowers in addition to donating to the Badge of Life foundation in Trudy's name. When she finds hers, she stands in front of it for a moment, happy with how they turned out.

On the same table as hers is a slightly larger arrangement that says it's from Voight. A standing arrangement nearby has a card from Kevin, Adam, Kim, Dante, and Kiana. And the final arrangement of lilies placed right next to hers is from Jay.

She swallows a lump in her throat and shakily touches the small white card. He has every right to send a card, just like he has every right to be here this weekend, and, based on the card he sent, he's hurting enough that he should be here.

Thank you for the light and guidance you brought to all of our lives. With Love, Jay Halstead

She wipes at the tears in her eyes again. Her heart aches at all the loss everyone is feeling because of Trudy's death.

Murder.

Kevin had told her that Trudy was murdered.

They knew who did it and had brought them into custody so that proper justice could be served.

She couldn't deny that she wished she had been a part of the case so that she could look the person in the eyes who did this and wish them hell, but at least it was over with. Trudy and Randall and the team and her and even Jay deserved a clean ending. No fuss, no drawn-out court cases. Just justice.

She swallows her anger and looks at the picture board near the flowers. While other boards focused on Trudy's time in patrol or with her friends and family, this one was dedicated to her last era as the Desk Sergeant for the 21st District. Pictures of her with Intelligence and patrol littered the board - many of celebratory ceremonies, but also many of her simply working with them all. Selfies from the bullpen that she hated taking, pictures at the bar from late nights, even a few from Makayla's adoption party that Kim and Adam had thrown years before. The memories make her smile, and she realizes that she should go share those memories with the friends that were also grieving. If they were together, maybe it'd all be easier to handle.

When she returns to where her friends were waiting, she forces a smile on her face and murmurs, "Outside of this, how are you all doing?"

Kim sniffles and shakes her head. She brushes her fingers beneath her eye to catch tears that were threatening to spill. "Okay," she quietly admits, "This has been a whirlwind, but…we're handling it. I'm going to pick up Makayla from school and then bring her here for a little bit before having the nanny come and get her. She's devastated too; she deserves to say 'goodbye.'"

Hailey nods and reaches over to rub her arm. "Of course," she murmurs. She glances at Adam and smiles slightly. "How's it living with your dad again? Are they getting along?"

He chuckles and asks, "Kim and Dad? Or Makayla and Dad?"

"Oh, shut up," Kim says through a watery laugh.

"They're good," Adam says softly with a smile, "We're all…we're working through it."

Hailey nods again and turns toward Kevin. "And you? How's your Dad? How's Jordan?"

"You know," he answers, gently hitting her arm, "You're the one we want to know more about. How's Denver? Tell us everything?"

"Yeah, what's your job like?" Dante asks, "Do you like it?"

"Denver?" Kiana adds, "What're you doing there?"

Hailey lets out a breath and glances between them all. "We really don't-"

"We do," Kim interrupts, "We really, really do. Please." Her eyes shift back toward the front of the room for a quick second before she offers a small smile toward Hailey. "Trudy would want to know all about it."

"Would probably want you to tell us everything too so that we can see what else is out there," Adam chuckles, "Come on. Tell us about Denver."

Hailey sighs and looks over her shoulder toward Trudy. They're right. Trudy would want to hear about it all, too. She should share about her life. It'll at least help distract her from the grief that's currently eating at her.

Sitting down, she says, "I sort of love it."

"Sort of?" Adam asks, "What's that mean?"

Hailey smiles and shrugs, looking down at her fingers. "It means…" She sighs again and looks up at them all. "It means that I really love it, but that I really miss all of you too. It's a good job. I'm working cases, but it's not as…"

"Time consuming?" Dante guesses.

Hailey nods. "Yeah. I get to leave at normal hours." She turns to Kiana and explains, "I'm a field agent at FBI Denver. I moved there last summer. Years ago, I did a stint in New York in their FBI office, and they actually loved me."

"Pissed Platt off," Kevin says with a chuckle, "They wanted her to go there bad, but she couldn't leave all of us." He smiles and squeezes her into his side.

She laughs softly and nods. It wasn't a lie, but it also wasn't the whole truth. She stayed because of Jay - sort of them too, but mostly Jay. He'd been her best friend and confidant. He did make her a better detective, but he'd also made her a better person. She was happier because of him. He calmed her racing mind and made her think clearer, both on and off the field. She stayed because of what he did for her.

Because she stayed, they eventually got married. Had she taken that job in New York, she would have left Jay in the past. Her heart wouldn't have gotten stomped on after baring it all to the man she thought she could trust.

She breathes in shakily and offers a weak smile toward Kevin. "Yeah, yeah, I couldn't stay away. It's what made leaving so…so hard…I'm sorry, but is that-"

She stands and steps around Kiana to get a better view of the door where Voight, Erin Lindsay, and Jay were currently standing. She sucks in a breath, and her blood suddenly feels like it's on fire.

Voight nods toward Randall, and the three of them make their way over to greet him. He shakes his hand then steps back for Erin to give him a hug before Jay shakes his hand as well and hugs him.

His hair is longer, and he does have a beard now. It was him at the bar the night before.

And he's with Erin, and that feels like a bigger slap in the face than ignoring her about twenty hours ago.

"Did you guys know Lindsay was coming in?" Adam asks quietly, "I mean, I get it, why wouldn't she? But it's just a shock to see her."

"She texted me," Kim sighs, "She's staying with Voight."

"She used to work with you guys too?" Dante asks, "Is that how she knows Jay?"

"They used to date," Hailey whispers, "They…they were together until she left him for New York. She…she's an FBI agent in New York."

She was a big reason as to why Hailey didn't even look for jobs in New York this time around. When she'd first been offered the job in New York, she hadn't cared that Erin Lindsay worked there. She had even run into her once while on the job; it'd been nice to catch up with someone she was familiar with.

However, then she truly learned Jay's heart. She fell in love with the man Erin had so easily left and was even there to pick up the pieces because she had. Even when her marriage was over, she couldn't find it within herself to go out to a city that pained Jay. It was a step too far. New York was off the table.

But it clearly didn't seem to be for Jay.

His hand is on Erin's back as they step up to the casket and take a moment to express their condolences and thoughts. He's touching her, comforting her as she grieves.

Maybe Hailey really should have left him for New York years before. Maybe then their marriage and relationship would have worked out.

"I'm gonna tell them where we're at," Kevin says. He takes a step, then looks back at her. "Are you okay with that?"

Her mouth opens for a moment before she nods slightly. "Uh, yeah, yeah, of course. You should all catch up with him-them. You should catch up with them. I'll just…I don't really know if I'm in a good place to talk to Jay, so I'll…I'll go talk to Stella. It's been a while since I've talked to her."

"No, we don't want you to go," Kim says, reaching over to grab her arm, "Please stay. We want to hear more about Denver."

"Yeah, I'll go," Adam says, "I'm the one who told him what had happened anyways; it's my fault he's here."

"It's no one's fault," Hailey sighs, "It's a funeral for a person we all love very much. I had a feeling that he was going to be here this weekend. I'm not mad. He's allowed to grieve." She gathers her coat and adds, "I don't know what I'd say to him right now, especially if…" She trails off and looks back over at him where he's talking to Voight and Erin in front of the board of pictures she'd been looking at earlier.

"But this isn't the end, right?" Kim asks, "You'll come back? We want to talk to you."

"And I was talking to Severide yesterday," Kevin adds, "Hermann's putting on a celebration of life tonight at Molly's. We're all invited, and I want to buy you a drink."

She smiles and wraps her arms around herself. "I will come back to talk to all of you, but I'll also give you time with Jay and Erin. I don't need to talk to them. I do want to talk to Stella, though, so, if you'll excuse me."

"It was nice meeting you," Kiana says as she walks away without a second glance in Jay's direction.

Hailey takes a deep breath while making her way over to where Stella, Severide, and a handful of other firefighters and paramedics are standing. She would love to continue talking with her friends about Denver and all they had been up to in the past few months, but she's not quite sure her anger toward Jay could continue living at bay.

Coming into this weekend, she was nervous to see him, but it felt manageable. She could give him polite smiles and make small talk, and then she'd go back to Colorado at the end of the weekend feeling some sort of closure. But if he's really chosen to rebound from their marriage by going back to the woman who stomped on his heart and left him without so much as saying 'goodbye,' then she wasn't going to stick around to watch.

Erin had done to him almost the same thing he'd done to her, perhaps that was what they were bonding over. In the end, it brought the two of them together. Her pain was their happiness.

She swallows her anger toward him and steps up to Stella. Pasting a smile on her face over the sudden tears in her eyes, she gently nudges her friend and murmurs, "Hey, it's so good to see you. I just wish it was under different circumstances."

"Oh my gosh, I know," Stella sighs, quickly wrapping her in a hug, "But I'm so glad you could come. Trudy loved you."

Hailey nods and swallows another lump in her throat.

At least her anger and disappointment in Jay can come off as grief.

The small talk begins to wear on Hailey, so she excuses herself from the circle she'd found herself in with Firehouse 51. Erin and Jay are still talking with the rest of her friends, so she walks past them to the exit. No part of her wants to leave right now, but she needs some air. The bathroom is quiet and a little cold, but it gives her enough peace to gather her thoughts.

Hiding within a stall, she leans against the wall and sighs. Trudy was so loved by so many people. The room became filled with mourners over the course of the last hour that Hailey had been here. Many offered her a wave or a smile, but she had remained by Stella, choosing to listen to all of them compared to having conversations she didn't want to have with old coworkers.

She busies herself by going to the bathroom and then spending too much time washing her hands at the sink. While her dress uniform was for tomorrow, today she had chosen one of her navy suits. When she dries her hands, she makes sure not to get any stray water on her pink blouse; she doesn't want to look like a slob with stains. If she could, she would even rinse off her face right now to reset herself.

Instead, she fingers her phone in her pocket and is already pressing James's contact by the time she's out of the bathroom.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"I've been better," she sighs while sitting on a couch in the sitting area, "Funerals suck."

"I know. I'm sorry. Want me to fly out tonight and go tomorrow with you?"

"No, no, you don't have to do that. I'll be fine. I have my friends here, and it's been nice catching up with them."

Even if she spent more time with Stella than she did with Intelligence.

"That's good. Is…is he there?"

"You can say his name."

"I didn't know what kind of mood we were in."

"Rude," Hailey laughs softly. She lets out a breath then nods. "Yeah, Jay's here. He showed up not too long after I did. He's actually with his ex-girlfriend."

"Really? That's…interesting. Have you ever met her before?"

"Yeah, she used to work in Intelligence before I got there. Well, we did a couple cases together before she up and left him for New York. She's a field agent with their FBI branch."

"So he has a type."

Hailey laughs again and shakes her head. "Stop."

"I'm just saying!" James says through a laugh, "But what does that mean: he's with her? Are they dating?"

"I have no idea," Hailey sighs, "They came together, and they're talking to our friends together. I really don't have any desire to talk to either of them right now. He was…she hurt him by leaving, and I was here to pick up the pieces. And then he had the audacity to do the same thing to me years later? Only for him to go back to her once he's back in the States? No. I-I can't."

She's surprising herself at the amount of anger that is coursing through her. When Jay had first left for Bolivia, there was a lot of sadness and heartbreak; the anger came later. Amidst the packing up of their apartment and filing for divorce, she let herself feel those raw emotions she'd once hampered down. Reality sank in that their marriage really was over, and stupidity sank in. It was all so confusing because she wasn't sure that she actually regretted marrying Jay and falling in love with him, but she truly hated the way things ended. Closure never came since all their communication went from missed phone calls and to scattered texts to speaking through lawyers. He was just gone.

Now that she was seeing him again, in person, for the first time in over two years, that mix of painful feelings was returning. And seeing Erin, after everything she knew she put Jay through, walk around with him as if nothing had happened, made all of those confusing feelings come out as anger.

Hot tears boil in her eyes, and she shakily breathes in while wiping them away. "I'm fine," she whispers, despite James not having said anything.

"It's okay if you're not."

She sniffles and nods. "I know. My new partner taught me that."

There's a soft sound as James accepts her statement. It had taken weeks of them working together and slowly revealing parts of themselves to the other before Hailey actually considered James a friend. Now, they got weekly dinners together with drinks interspersed. Hailey found that, through James, she was able to open up to the others in her office. They all welcomed her into their crew, and it felt good to have a new life. Her nerves at working with and having to trust a new group of people faded away, and soon she was confident that she was thriving as an FBI field agent.

"You never texted me about that drink you were supposed to get last night," James says, "Did I waste $20?"

Hailey laughs and wipes her eyes. "No, no, you didn't." Sighing, she looks around the room then admits, "I did go down to the bar and order a drink; however, when I went to pay for it, the bartender told me that some guy bought it for me. I…I think it was Jay."

"Jay? Jay bought you a drink last night?"

"I don't know," Hailey replies, "All I know was that he was at the bar. He was on his phone, and there was this other guy that was also there, and that was the guy that was looking at me, but I…I sort of freaked out and just left. What if it was Jay? He didn't even have the guts to come talk to me? All he could do was send me a drink. That's…I thought I meant more to him than that."

"Well, maybe you do," James says gently, "Maybe the other guy did send you a drink and it wasn't Jay. Or maybe he's nervous to talk to you too, and he was hoping this could be some sort of peace offering."

"Yeah, maybe," Hailey hums. She lets out a breath as she leans back into the couch. "Thank you for picking up. I just needed a minute. This place…it's haunting. I can't believe she's gone, and I can't believe there are so many ghosts here."

James laughs. "Pun intended?"

Hailey smiles slightly and shrugs. "Maybe."

"All right, well, because of that, we're going to watch The Sixth Sense when you get home. It's one of my favorite movies."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes. Has that not come up yet?"

"Apparently not."

"Well, it's the truth. Movie night when you get home. I'll plan it all, but I do ask that you bring the beer."

"Oh, I have to bring the beer?"

"Yeah, I liked that one you got last time, and I'm not sure where you bought it."

Hailey hums and wipes her eyes one last time. She recognizes one of James's favorite ways to get her mind off of something that's bugging her: give her something meaningless to do. Back in Chicago, she would have hated the gesture - something both Trudy and Jay knew about her. She much preferred to be working on something that would result in being an asset to whatever case or thing they were working on. However, when James first asked her to sort through old case files and simply change out folders that were torn, she understood the necessity of the task. It was mindless and allowed her mind to reset. At least, that's what she figured out after expressing her anger and annoyance.

"Are you going out again tonight? Maybe with your friends?"

Hailey sniffles and nods. "I think so. I was invited to go. There's this bar, Molly's, that Trudy and her husband are part owners of. I guess the firefighters want to have a celebration of life there for her tonight."

"That'll be fun. Can you use my $20 there?"

Hailey laughs. "Probably. I'll at least get a beer to honor Trudy. Based on who's there, that'll determine how long I stay."

"Whoa, no, no. You're staying as long as you want," James says quickly, "You do not let some guy and his ex-girlfriend dictate how long you grieve and celebrate someone for. Promise me that, Hailey. You are allowed to be upset about Trudy, and you're allowed to go have a drink - or seven - in her honor. You need to go to Molly's tonight, and you need to relax with your friends. Do it for Trudy, do it for yourself, and, you know what, do it for me. As your partner, I want you to go out tonight and have a drink. And as your superior, that's an order."

Hailey laughs again and tips her head back against the couch. "Really? You're going to play that card?"

"Hell yes I'm playing that card. So, what do you say? Are you going to go to Molly's and forget Jay and Erin? Live your life?"

She smiles and nods. "I can do that. And I'll try to send you a picture this time."

"I'm expecting it."

"Mhmm. All right, I'll talk to you later."

"Yup, love you."

Hailey hangs up the phone and closes her eyes for a moment. Her stomach feels like it's filled with butterflies - nervous butterflies. James is right: she should be allowed to go to Molly's and grieve Trudy for however long she needs in whatever fashion that consists of. However, that doesn't mean that she's excited for the potential conversations that are going to arise because of her and some others' anticipated presence.

"Hey, are you doing okay?"

Her heart drops, and her eyes fly open.

Jay's standing about ten feet away from her, on the other side of a couch, his hands resting on the back of the cushions. He's staring at her with those same gentle green eyes she'd fallen in love with years ago. His black suit jacket is tucked over his arm, and it's highlighting his chest beneath a grey button down.

He looks good, even with his longer hair and beard. He's different than when he left, but he's still him. He's still the man she married.

And then divorced.

"Uh, yeah," she breathes, "Just…just taking a minute." She stands up from the couch and smooths out her shirt. "Are you?"

Jay nods and points toward the bathroom. "Was just heading in there. I'm sorry, I didn't mean…I can leave, if you need more time."

"What? No, no." She takes a step toward the left as he moves to the right toward the bathroom. "Jay, you're allowed to go to the bathroom."

He nods again and smiles slightly. "Thanks."

"Yeah," she breathes. Jay walks toward the bathroom, but as his hand touches the door, she feels her feet taking several steps toward him, and she asks what had been eating at her for the entire day: "Why didn't you talk to me last night?"

Jay turns around and narrows his eyes in thought. "What?"

"Jay, you were at the hotel bar last night," she says quietly, "You-You were sitting there, on your phone, drinking a whiskey. I saw you, I know I saw you, and when I went to pay for my drink, the bartender told me someone had bought it for me."

Jay's studying her for a moment before slowly shaking his head. "I…I did go to the bar at my hotel - the Hyatt House in West Loop - but I swear I didn't see you there. If I had, I would have at least said 'hi,' you deserve that much, Hail, no matter how we ended. I'm always going to say 'hi' to you. I'm sorry. I was on my phone because-"

"It's okay," she interrupts, "It's dumb. Sorry. I'm sorry."

"No, don't be," Jay says, his hand moving toward his pocket, "I'm the one who-"

"Jay, you're good," she breathes, already backing away from him, "Go to the bathroom. I'm sorry for keeping you. I'm sure I'll see you around."

She doesn't wait for him to reply. She hurries away back where everyone is. Back in the room where Trudy is laying, she spots Erin talking to Stella, so she takes a deep breath to settle her stomach then walks over to her friends.

"Did Kim go to get Makayla?" she asks.

Adam nods. "Yeah, I'm not looking forward to that one, but she deserves to be here."

Hailey offers him a supportive smile then rubs his arm. "We're all here for you. We'll get through this."

Adam groans and nods again. He tugs her into his side to give her a tight hug. "We will," he says, "We've gone through a lot together, and we can get through this just the same."

Jay walks back in the room and makes eye contact with her. Giving her a stiff nod, he heads over to Severide and Cruz.

She softens and leans further into Adam. She's going to need her friends for sure to get through the rest of this weekend.