Azzano, Italy
November 1943
They were taken to the evacuation hospital and for the first two days of the battle, it's all hands-on deck. Despite having no nursing training, Betty and her colleagues found themselves as makeshift nurse aids. She spent most of the next forty-eight hours changing the dressing on wounds, administering morphine, and cleaning bandages until her hands were raw. But she was happy for the distraction, it kept her mind off Bucky and the rest of his company.
Someone nameless private offered her a cigarette and she gladly took it. She held it between blood-stained fingers. She closed her eyes as the acrid taste of the stale Chesterfield burned its way down her lungs. The icy fingers of the Invisible Man curl around her subconscious, his voice taunting. He's dead. He's dead. He's dead. You loved him and he died. She felt nauseous and for a moment she thought she might lose her breakfast. She took a steadying breath out and brought the cigarette back up to her lips, the paper around her fingers dyed red.
It's only when she feels someone sit next to her and push a hot cup of coffee into her hands that she reluctantly opens her eyes. Agent Carter sat stiffly next to Betty; a grim expression marred her otherwise pretty face. They didn't speak, just sat in silence while Betty took shaky drags. Finally, when she was finished, she took a sip of the coffee and turned to face the other woman.
"Thanks." Betty said weakly. "It is the least I can do, Corporal." The liquid burned its way down her throat, but she welcomed the relief from the biting cold that had set in. "Do you know anything?"
"I'm really not at liberty to say, Corporal Rogers."
"Please, I just need to know what happened to my-" Love. "my friend."
Agent Carter darted her eyes around the camp, casting an untrustworthy gaze at the people milling around them. She moved closer to Betty and lowered her voice, "Your camp was attacked by troops under the command of Johann Schmidt. They are the most highly trained and technologically advanced unit in the Wehrmacht. It's a miracle that any of you survived that night."
"What happened to the 107th?" Her hands were shaking so bad that liquid swished out of the top of the tin cup and left tiny red welts on her skin. "Half stayed to defend the camp and aid in the evacuation."
"...and the other half?" Betty isn't sure she even wants an answer to the question. "About two hundred marched north into Austria to confront the enemy. We've since lost communication with that company." Betty stared out into the dense forest surrounding them and slowly nodded, taking in Agent Carter's words. Her mind screamed at her to face the reality that he was most likely dead. Another nameless corpse lying face down in an Austrian forest somewhere.
She once again felt the bile rise in her throat. She sucked down the rest of the cigarette and coffee in silence before standing up and straightening out her uniform. "Thank you for this, Agent Carter." Her voice was strangely vacant. As she walked away, she could hear the other woman calling out her name, but she ignored her calls, knowing she needed to head back to work.
She and Vickie worked across from each other once again, all petty fights from the past pushed aside. There was an unspoken rule that their new shared trauma superseded anything that had gone before. They had worked in silence all morning, the only sound filling the small tent was the clacking of keys as they churned out dozens of condolence letters. As an act of mercy, when they came that morning Vickie had taken the first half of the alphabet.
She could hear Vickie suck in her breath, and she knew immediately whose name she'd come across. The other woman cleared her throat, "Betty, you should take a break. You could catch the end of the USO show." Her fingers hovered over the shiny silver keys. "I'm fine."
Vickie looked down at the roster on her desk and then back at Betty. "I'm going to have pull rank here, Rogers." She said in her firmest tone and then her voice softened. "Go see your brother, you deserve it."
She stood in the rain contemplating whether or not she should just turn around. She was desperate to see him, to have some semblance of normalcy, of home. But she knew if she had to be the one to tell him what happened, she would collapse inwardly. When the rain became too much to bear, she finally took a step into the wooden structure.
He was sitting in his silly star-spangled uniform at the back of the stage. He stared out into the rainy tree line for a moment before going back to whatever he was sketching out on his notepad. She hung back for a moment not really knowing what to say to him. Frigid raindrops slide down her face. She shifted feet and he must have heard it because he whipped his head around. As soon as their eyes met a wave of relief swept over his face. Before either of them could speak, he was already next to her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and pulling her into a tight embrace. Betty felt momentary, fleeting happiness at seeing her brother again but soon it was overshadowed again. "I thought I might catch the end of the show." She murmured, her soaked hair dripped down onto his uniform.
"You didn't miss much." He sighed. "I still would have liked to see it." She holds onto him even tighter. "It's so good to see you, Betty." He pulled her out to arm's length. "You have no idea." She tried to smile but the gesture felt so unnatural.
"I can't believe you, Steve!" She waves her hands dramatically in front of her. "You're so, so-" but the words eluded her. "Yeah, yeah I know." He gave her a self-conscious shrug. "I just can't believe it, is all." Feeling overwhelmed she reached out again and pulled him into another tight embrace. "I missed you a lot." She whispered; this was all uncharacteristically sentimental for her. He gave her a soft smile as he dropped his hands back down to his sides.
"That's uh quite a look you got going on here, Stevie." She grinned, gesturing to the vibrant costume he wore. He rolled his eyes. "Not you too…" He mumbled.
"How long are you here for?" He shrugged his shoulders, looking a little defeated. "Just today. We don't exactly stay in any one place too long." Disappointment weaves its way into his voice. She glanced down at his notebook and ran her fingers over the charcoaled paper, "All those art lessons at the Y, really paid off." She said with sincerity. He looked down as well before grimacing. "Lot of good it did me." He mumbled. "Should've used the money for something important." She lightly smacked his arm, feeling her lips curl into a tiny smile. "Knock it off Steve. Being cynical is my job."
"Yeah, yeah, you're right." He whined. Then a curious look crossed his face, and he glanced around the camp. "Hey, where's Bucky? You mentioned in one of your letters that he was with you." Some excitement creeps back into his voice. She wants to tell him; she needs to tell him what's happened, but the words die in her throat. They had so little time together.
"Steve, there's something you should-" Steve stands straighter, and she thinks that he's already guessed at what she's going to say but then she noticed that he was no longer looking at her but instead had cast his gaze somewhere behind her. She turned her head and saw Agent Carter standing in the entryway.
"I'm sorry, am I interrupting?"
"No! Not at all." Steve answered too quickly. She walked in a little closer to the pair, getting out of the rain. "That was quite a performance."
Steve shifted nervously. "Yeah, I had to improvise a bit. The crowds I'm used to are usually more...twelve." Agent Carter moved in a little closer. "I understand you're 'America's New
Hope.'" Steve tugged his coat closed, looking self-conscious. He sat back down on the wooden crate. He looked back down on the notebook that was now splayed across his lap.
"Bond sales take a ten percent jump in every state I visit." There was a note of bitterness in his voice and he didn't look up as he spoke. "Is that Senator Brandt I hear?"
"At least he's got me doing this. Phillips would have had me stuck in a lab." Betty furrowed her brow and opened her mouth to ask what they were going on about but once again Agent Carter spoke up. "And are those your only option?" She once again casts her eyes to his drawing. "Lab rat or dancing monkey? You know you're meant for more than this." Betty flicked her eyes between the two, suspicion mounting. They seemed awfully familiar for two people that had supposedly met in passing during Steve's stint in basic. She felt invisible as the two of them bantered back and forth.
Betty watched as Steve took in his surroundings for a moment, his eyes landing on a group of haggard nurses on their smoke break. When the other woman spoke again, her voice was softer. "What?"
"You know, for the longest time I dreamed about coming overseas and being on the frontlines, serving my country. I finally got everything I wanted and I'm wearing tights." Betty's heart sank and she surged forward reach out put a comforting hand on his shoulder, but before she could an ambulance sped by. They all straightened and watched as the medics helped unload the latest victims from the front. Betty darts over to the edge of the tent and strains her eyes to see if it's her soldier who's lying on the stretcher. Carter and Steve continued to talk in the background, but she tuned them out. Three men are unloaded from the ambulance, and she searches each of their faces for a hint of familiarity. She would even take Jones or Dugan as a consolation just so she could at least know what happened. But she had no such luck, they were all strangers.
"107th?" She heard Steve exclaim and she turned to Steve making his way over to her. "Betty what happened to-" but she couldn't even bear to hear him say his name. "We were attacked that night. His company marched out to confront them and…"
"And?"
"They haven't been heard from since. There are rumors that they were captured but there are other rumors too." Her voice cracked as she spoke. His face hardens and suddenly he was running out into the rain and towards HQ. "Steve!" She shouts over the sound of the storm. He turns back briefly and gestures for both women to follow him. "Come on!"
The two women exchange a glance before they both run after him. The rain is freezing, and it makes the wool uniform cling uncomfortably to her skin. She runs into Phillip's office right behind Steve, nearly knocking into him. Vicky stands behind him with a stack of unsigned letters. "Well, if it isn't "the star-spangled man with the plan." What is your plan today?"
"I need the casualty list from Azzano."
Betty yanks at his coat sleeve, "Steve!" She hissed but he ignored her. "You don't get to give me orders, son."
"Steve, come on." She warned but once again he didn't acknowledge her. Phillips looked at her disapprovingly. "I'm sorry, sir."
"I just need one name. Sergeant James Barnes from the 107th." Phillips gave him a hard look before turning towards Agent Carter. He pointed a finger at her accusingly. "You and I are going to have a conversation later that you won't enjoy. And you-" He looked over at Betty, "are on the clock." She nodded before scrambling over to her desk. Vickie gave her a sympathetic look.
Steve continued, "Please tell me if he's alive, sir. B-A-R-" Phillips cut him off. "I can spell, son." He turned around and reached out. Vickie placed the fresh stack of letters in his awaiting hands. He stood and thumbed through each letter. "I've signed more condolence letters today than I'd care to count. But the name does sound familiar. I'm sorry." Betty dropped down into her chair, feeling sick. She closed her eyes and willed herself to hold it together. She clasped her shaking hands together under the desk, trying to hide her distress.
The only sounds that filled the room were the rushing of rain and fingers on typewriter keys. She glances up to see a moment of stunned sadness cross Steves face before he pulled himself together in front of the Colonel. "What about the others? Are you planning a rescue mission?
"Yeah, it's called 'winning the war.'" Phillips quipped sarcastically. "But if you know where they are-" But Phillips waved him off. "They're thirty miles behind the lines. Through some of the most heavily fortified territory in Europe. We'd lose more men than we'd save. I don't expect you to understand that, because you are a chorus girl." A look of hurt spread across Steve's face.
"I think I understand just fine." His voice hardened.
"Then understand it somewhere else." Betty had seen that look on his face a million times and she knew he was going to do something impulsive as his eyes scanned the map hanging up on the canvass wall. "If I read the posters right, you've got some place to be in a half hour." Steve did not even glance over at the Colonel. "Yes, sir. I do." He rushed out without a second glance towards Betty or anyone else.
Phillips sat back down at his desk and started signing the letters Vickie had handed him. "You got something to say now's the time to keep it to yourself." The brunette did not speak, instead she turned heel and followed Steve out.
Betty sat there shaking, trying to process everything that had just happened. She stared down at the shiny silver keys, not knowing how she could get any work done after the events of the past few minutes. She took a shaky breath and finally found her voice, "Sir, if I may-" Phillips smacked his hands down on the table. "Goddamn it Rogers, just go."
"Thank you, sir!" She called over her shoulder as she ran out.
Steve was not hard to find in a sea full of drab uniforms. Although he had a head start, she easily caught up with him. "Steve!" She shouted and finally he looked over at her. She pulled him into the empty mess hall where they could have some semblance of privacy. "Agent Carter, could you give us a minute?" The other woman gave Steve a short glance, "I'll be over by transport vehicles if you need me."
Betty turned her attention back to her brother. She mustered all the confidence she could. "Steve whatever you're planning, you can't do it." He crossed his arms across his chest. "And why not, Betty?"
"Why not?" She exclaimed. "Because it's going against direct orders! Because it's dangerous!" He let out a frustrated groan. "So, what? I'm just supposed to abandon Bucky?" There was an uncharacteristic hint of anger in his tone. After everything that they had been through in their childhood, Steve almost never raised his voice at her.
"No, of course not! That's not what I'm saying!"
"Then what are you saying?"
"What I'm saying is whatever this is, it's a suicide mission and I've already lost someone I love, and I can't do it again." Her voice was thick with emotion, she struggled to get the words out. He made a few short strides towards her and placed his hands on her shoulders. "That's not going to happen, Betty."
"But what if Phillips is right and he's really gone, and all of this is for nothing."
"That's a risk I'm willing to take." He grips her shoulders a little harder. "He's my best friend, Betty, I have to try." She shrugs his hands off her. "And what about me Steve. Are you going to abandon me? What's going to happen to me if you're both dead?" Her voice was biting.
"I'm going to come back with whatever is left of the 107th. I swear it." He crossed his heart. She paused for a beat before throwing her arms around his neck. "I swear to God Steve, if you die, I will find a way to revive you just so I can kill you again for being an idiot."
"I wouldn't expect anything else."
He pulls her in one last time before slipping out of the mess hall. Before he goes to far he turns around again, his lips slightly upturned. "I'll be back before you even have time to miss me." Betty doesn't believe him.
She knows things have gone poorly when she arrives at work the next morning. The air in the little makeshift office is tense. Everyone speaks in harsh whispers and Phillips was pacing back and forth behind his desk. He pointed a finger accusingly at Agent Carter. "I know you and Stark had something to do with this. As soon as I'm able to prove it, I'll be sending your ass straight back to London." Betty stared down at her typewriter, trying to tune out the entire conversation.
"Rogers! What the hell did your delinquent brother do?"
"I have no idea sir, I'm just as shocked as you are at his disappearance." The lie fell off her lips easily. "He told me he was leaving for his next USO stop. He's always been a rule follower, sir." She almost winced, thinking that perhaps she was laying it on too thick. He gave her a hard look, trying to break down her defenses but she didn't relent. She kept her features as innocent as possible. "Don't think you're off the hook." He said pointedly at the brunette, before storming out and barking orders at some poor MP in his path. The other woman gave her a knowing look before departing as well.
Some officer dropped a stack of documents on her desk and Betty got to work transcribing them, thankful for once they weren't condolence letters. The rain had finally started to let up, giving Betty a clearer view of the hospital down the road. Every time an ambulance passed, she nearly jumped out of her chair, but it was always a disappointment.
Her fingers are aching, and her neck is stiff by the time Phillips returns to the office. She could tell he was still in a shit mood by the way he snapped at everyone around him. She sank into her chair, trying to avoid his accusatory gaze. "You know I took you on as a favor to Colonel Flynn who gave you nothing short of a glowing recommendation." He exhaled loudly, "If I find out you had anything to do with this, I will have you court martialed so fast it will make your pretty little head spin, Rogers." She nodded, casting her eyes down towards her chipped fingernails.
She worried that she might continue to be the victim of his ire until another officer brought him the wrong folder and he started to go off again. Expletives flying around the small tent. As soon as the clock struck seventeen hundred hours, Vickie yanked her from her chair. Both wanted to leave before Phillips noticed.
The mess was unusually busy that evening. Betty took a seat on the benches across from the tent and was shocked when Vickie sat down opposite her. They had certainly been on better terms since the night of the attack, but they still weren't friends. Vickie took a quick glance around at their surroundings before pulling out a well-hidden flask from her skirt pocket. She uncorks the lid and Betty can smell the harsh liquid from where she had. Vickie takes a swig and hands it over. Betty reluctantly takes it before swallowing down the contents of the flask. The whiskey burned its way down her throat, and she felt her eyes prick but she pushed it down. She handed the flask back to Vickie who stealthily hid it again.
The wind rustles around them and it is almost comforting to just sit and be with another person. "I lost my younger brother two months ago in North Africa." Vickie didn't look at her, she trained her eyes on the hospital tent. "The whole platoon was mowed down by Rommel." She paused and when she spoke again it was somber. "He was only seventeen."
"Jesus." Betty pulled her coat a little tighter across her chest.
"Don't get it twisted, Rogers, I don't need you or anyone else feeling sorry for me. Teddy made his choice, and he knew the risk. Alls I'm saying is that-" She snapped and then took a deep breath. "that I understand." Betty nodded and they went back to sitting in silence. The rain had stopped, and the skies had started to clear, letting little dots of moonlight filter through all the clouds. Betty watched the tree line religiously, willing them to burst through it at any moment.
"I saw your man on the missing list today. Barnes, right?" Betty felt her heart sink into her chest. She nodded slowly. "That's tough." Betty bit her lip, stopping herself from making a biting remark. Vickie lowered her voice. "Phillips is so full of shit sometimes."
"What do you mean?"
"I know I'm not supposed to say anything but, in their meeting, today they were saying that they haven't a clue what happened to those guys out there. There's just as much chance that they were captured and sitting in a POW camp somewhere." The thought brought Betty little comfort, but she appreciated that Vickie was trying. "So why send out the letters?"
"To keep families from asking too many uncomfortable questions. They don't want a bunch of angry mothers asking why their sons weren't rescued."
"Oh."
Vickie fished out the flask one last time, taking a large swig before handing it back to Betty. She barely felt the burn this time. Vickie tucked it away and stood. "You comin' to dinner, Rogers?"
"No, I'm good." She would likely just push it around the tray until it got cold, no need to waste food. Vickie shrugged. "Suit yourself, Rogers."
The second morning after Steve's disappearance was significantly worse than the first. Phillips, Carter, and the other officers stood around a table staring at a map of the Austro-Italian boarder. By the state of them all, Betty could tell it had been a late night. As soon as she set her purse down on the chair, the Colonel was already snapping orders at her.
"Rogers, four coffees ASAP." She did not hesitate to follow that order. She made sure to join the back of the line at the mess instead of pulling rank and cutting to the front. She was in no hurry to return. Doing her best impression of her cocktail waitress days, she carried the burning tins of coffee across the camp and back to HQ. She set the cups down on Phillips desk and went to take a seat again. Once glance at Vickie's ghost-white face told her everything she needed to know, whatever Phillips didn't want her to hear was clearly terrible news. Her stomach sank and she felt the bile rise in her throat.
Her hands were shaking so bad that she dropped her documents folder on the ground. The Colonel snapped his attention back to Betty but when his eyes landed on her, they were softer than before. "Corporal, we're low on-" he paused for a moment glancing over at his desk, "office supplies. You're making supply runs today." It was bullshit, everyone in the room knew it. Betty took a calming breath. "Office supplies sir?" she asked incredulously.
"As you know, Corporal Rogers, the army cannot operate smoothly without pens, paper, and typewriter ribbons. This is of the utmost priority." Her lips formed a hardline, not responding for a full beat. "Sir, I have to insist-" But Phillips was having none of it. He cut her off midsentence.
"I'm sorry Corporal, I wasn't aware this was a debate." She immediately closed her mouth and lowered her gaze. "I'm sorry sir. I'll get right to it." She grabbed the keys to the supplies truck off one of the desks without another glance backwards. She was still shaking so violently she didn't know if she was going to be able to operate the machine.
Midway through the drive she had to pull over and empty the meager contents of her stomach. When she finished dry heaving, she slid down the passenger side door, her legs splayed out in front of her.
The Invisible Man loomed over her like the specter of death. She banged her head against the metal door. "Leave me the fuck alone." She screamed into the empty forest. She once again pulled her knees up to her chest and rocked back and forth, self-soothing. She knew she was going to have to get her breathing under control if she didn't want to pass out on the side of the road.
Her mother used to hand her the family and would pray it with her until Betty finally calmed down. "Ave Maria, gratia plena, Dominus tecum.…" she said through ragged breaths. What she wouldn't give to have her mother sitting with her right now, reciting the prayer in her gentle voice and stroking her hair. Betty put her head between her knees, willing herself to finally cry to let it out, but like every time before, nothing came. "Benedicta tu in mulieribus, et benedictus fructus ventris tui, Iesus." Her breathing began to calm as her mother's voice began to ring in her ears. "Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, ora pro nobis peccatoribus, nunc et in hora mortis nostrae. Amen." She lifted her head up and hastily crossed herself before hauling herself off the ground.
Her limbs felt like they were made of gelatin but she managed to make it back around to the drivers seat. She checked her appearance in the rearview mirror, taking a moment to fix her makeup, before restarting the engine. The truck roared to life and she was able to make it to the supply line without further incident.
The officer gave her an annoyed look when she approached him about what they needed. "These are direct orders from Colonel Phillips, sir."
"He sent you all the way out here for paper and pencils?" The officer questioned, his tone implying he didn't quite buy his story. She shrugged knowing it sounded silly. "If you don't believe me, you can always radio the camp, sir. The Colonel will corroborate my story." The man gave her a hard look. Before signaling for her to follow him into his office.
The radio operator looked up at him and the officer ordered him to call for Colonel Phillips. They all sat there in silence for an endlessly long minute. The radio operator furrowed her brow. "Sir, nobody is answering."
"That's not possible, try again." She nodded and called out for Colonel Phillips over the radio, and they all waited again, but still no response came. "What the hell?" The man muttered under his breath. "Try one more time." She practically yelled into the microphone, but they were all met once again with static.
Silence was deadly. The radios were manned all day and night at HQ, in order for the radio operators to be away from their station, something terrible must have happened. Betty ran back towards the truck.
"Corporal, I'm not sure going back is a good idea. You have no idea what could be waiting there." There was a hint of panic in the man's voice. Betty shook her head. "With all due respect sir, if something's happened, I need to be there to take orders."
He nodded. "If you meet trouble, corporal you come straight back."
"Yes, sir." She turned the engine over and floored it back on the road heading north. She had never driven so fast in her life. Once again her heart was racing but she kept herself calm trying to reason that there must be a logical explanation for the silence over the radio. "The Nazis always attack at night." She repeated to herself. It wasn't particularly calming after the conversation she had shared with Agent Carter about the particular group they had been targeting.
There was no one guarding the gates of the camp and Betty started to shake again. She whipped the truck through the entrance and parked it just inside the gates. She started running towards HQ when suddenly she was hit by the sound of crowds cheering. She remained confused until she saw the mass of people congregated in the center of camp. Confused she started trying to push her way towards the office.
"BETTY!" Someone yelled from behind her. Gabe Jones' had two nurses clinging on to both arms and held a bottle of schnapps in one hand, the cork tucked between his teeth. "Gabe?" She blinked her eyes multiples times; afraid she was hallucinating. He cracked a wide smile across his handsome face, and he let go of the two nurses so she could pull him into a tight hug.
"I know I'm not the one you wanted to see." He laughed. "You're a sight for sore eyes, Gabe!" She smiled and she meant it. Before she can even ask the question on her lips, he answers it. He points down towards the tree line on the far side of camp. "You're gonna have to fight through all of these people."
"Thank you!" She yelled over her shoulder as she ran forwards. "Good luck!" He laughed and turned his attention back to the nurses.
Betty pushed her way through the crowd, her eyes darted around desperately. Suddenly, she saw him. He was standing on the edge of camp, on the far side of the crowd. Betty felt herself surge forward, fighting her way through the throngs of people. When she finally reached the edge of the crowd, she ran towards him. Logically she knew she should slow down and that she was likely to bowl them both over, but she did not care.
To her complete surprise, he caught her. Without saying anything she wrapped her arms around his neck and planted a desperate kiss on his lips. She could feel the surprise in his movements but after a beat he did respond to her. He lifted her off the ground until her tiptoes barely grazed the grass beneath them. She felt for a moment that she would melt from the dizzying passion, but it was in that moment that she heard a polite cough come from beside them. She pulled away and Bucky set her back down on the ground. Turning, she saw Steve giving them an awkward smile.
"Oh my God, Steve! I didn't see you there!" She felt her face grow hot. "Clearly" He turned his attention back to Bucky. "I assume this is what you wanted to talk to me about." Bucky tugged on the back of his neck and nodded. He kept his free hand wrapped around Betty's waist, ensuring that she was still close. "Well, I'm happy for you both." Betty had hardly considered what Steve would think about all of this. Suddenly, she surged forward and hugged her brother as well.
"What the hell took you so long, Steve!" She chided but there was no malice behind her words. "You scared me to death!" She pulled back and smacked his arm. "Have some faith, Betty. I told you I'd come back, didn't I?"
"You specifically said that you'd be back before I had time to miss you." She scolded him as she put her hands on her hips and tried to give him a hard look, but she was too relieved to be truly mad. "Yeah, well what is it they say about the best laid plans?"
Bucky took a half step forward and placed his hand on her lower back and she snuggled into his side. His touch was featherlight as if she were suddenly made of glass. He looked awful, his eyes were bloodshot and his whole body was littered in scrapes and bruises. But the worst was the haunted look he wore. She knew whatever it was that happened to him, he simply wasn't going to be able to shake it off.
Someone came over and clapped Steve on the shoulder and started to shake his hand. Betty turned her attention back to Bucky. She ran her fingers across his face, and he flinched at the action. She quickly pulled her hands away from him. "Sorry." He muttered.
"We need to get you checked out by a doctor." He stiffened and looked away. "I'm fine, Bette." But he looked far from fine. "Bucky, you look like hell. You've been in a POW camp for the better part of two weeks. You need to get checked out." She insisted. He took a sharp breath before nodding. "Fine but-" He stopped looking embarrassed. "But what?" She asked softly. He pulled her into his chest and she could feel the erratic beats of his heart. "Just don't leave me okay? Can you just stay with me, please?" There was a desperation in his voice that Betty had never heard before. It sent alarm bells ringing in her head. "Of course. I'll be with you the whole time." She rubbed comforting circles in his back.
He needed two full bags of fluids to help fight the dehydration, he shook the entire time the nurse was placing the needle. She furrowed her brow had never known him to be afraid of the doctors before. He nearly ripped the IV out of his arm when the second bag was nearly finished. "Baby, I need you to calm down. It's okay, I'm not going to let anything happen to you." He nodded and squeezed her fingers even tighter as the nurse took the IV out.
"You're all done. Let's get you something to eat." She ran her fingers through his hair, not caring that it was caked in weeks of dirt and blood. He shook his head. "I need a shower first. I'm disgusting." He said self-consciously as swung his legs off the examination table. "I'll go get you some new fatigues." Bucky grabbed her arm as she turned to open the privacy curtain. "Wait, don't go." She allowed him to pull her back into him. When she looked up at him, there were tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He sniffed wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.
"It's okay, love. You can cry if you need to." She held him as he curled himself into her small frame. She held him as tight as she physically could as silent sobs wracked his body. His tears ran down her neck. She murmured sweet nothings and words of reassurance into his skin as he clung onto her, her heart breaking for him. Eventually, his tears began to dry up and he was able to stand. Reached up and wiped the tears off his cheeks and from under his red-rimmed eyes. "I'm sorry, Bette. I don't know what happened." He cast his gaze away from her but he pulled his face back to look at her. "You have nothing to apologize for." He surged forward and kissed her hard.
"How'd I get so lucky to land a dame like you." His words had a cadence of a joke but there was a serious note behind it. "Years of relentless pursuit." She quipped. He smiled a little and it felt like progress. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up."
A hot shower and a hot meal did wonders for Bucky's spirits. She refuses to let go of him for the rest of the day. When he was out of reach her fingers ached for him and she found some excuse to be near him again, even if it was just a brush of skin. Some of the light began to come back to his eyes as they all sat around a campfire outside of his bunk. Steve sat across them eyeing them curiously as she and Bucky whispered to each other.
"So, when did this start?" Steve asked loudly across the group.
"Italy"
"Brooklyn" They both exclaim at the same time. She whipped her head around to look at Bucky, who only smirked back. "You wanna try that again?" Steve laughed and the rest of the group looked amused.
"Brooklyn."
"Italy"
"Do you two need a moment to get your story straight?" Dugan joked before taking a swig of the schnapps Gabe had brought with him before passing it over to Steve.
"Nothing serious happened until a few weeks ago." Betty muttered, hoping that Steve would drop it and she could remove herself from the spotlight. Steve smirked as he took a drink from the schnapps, he tossed it casually towards his sister. Then his attention turned towards Bucky. "Well, I figured I was missing something when I saw your service cap on the floor of my sister's bedroom." Betty's eyes grew wide as dinner plates, and she wished the earth would open beneath her and swallow her whole. "You're such an asshole, Steve. You could have said something earlier." She said as she flipped him off but she couldn't help as her lips curled into a smile. Bucky slung his arm around her shoulder.
His arm rested relaxed against her shoulders as the others recounted the events of their daring escape. Bucky sat there quietly, simply listening to the rest of them but every so often when certain details of their capture are revealed, she could feel his body tense. His face betrayed nothing, but he would sit up straighter, and his limbs would freeze. So, she would reach up to her shoulder where his hand hung loosely and would give it a squeeze until he relaxed again. Every so often he would absentmindedly lean over and place a kiss on the crown of her head or run his nose along the shell of her ear.
As the night grew longer, the others started to trickle off to bed until it was just the two of them left in front of the dying fire. A breeze whipped through the trees, and she shivered. Bucky used this as an excuse to pull her flush against him and Betty rested her head in the crook of his neck.
"We should probably turn in soon, Buck." She murmured reluctantly as she shoved her stiff fingers into her jacket sleeve. Instead of releasing her from his embrace, he pulled her in even tighter. "Just a few more minutes, darlin'. I'm not ready to let go yet." He smiled down at her, but the light didn't quite reach his eyes. There's still something haunting about his appearance. She lifted her face off his shoulder and opened her mouth to speak but thought better of it. He would tell her when he was ready. So, they sit there and listen to the sounds of the crackling fire and the wind rustling through the sleepy campsite.
When they did finally stand, they were both stiff from the cold.
She rocked up onto her tiptoes and leaned in to kiss his cheek. "I love you." He stared at her wide-eyed and was seemingly startled at her confession. She wondered if this was not the correct time to make this confession. But when he opened his mouth, he whispered her name like a prayer, and she knew that she had made the right choice.
"Say it again, doll." He commanded. She set her hands squarely on his shoulder and looked him in the eyes. "I love you." He groaned and there is a goofy smile plastered across his face. He leaned in and kissed her with a hunger she had only experienced the night of the Stark Expo. He ran his hands suggestively up and down her arms then gathered her up and pulled her flush against him.
"The whole time I was in there I kept thinking to myself, I made a promise to Betty Rogers. Even when I was-" The look that crossed his face made her believe that he was considering his word choice. "alone, I thought to myself I have to make it back to my girl." His fingers held her face firmly, their noses brushed against each other.
"What's so special about this Betty Rogers you're so keen on?"
"Well, despite her best efforts, I love her." She smiled brightly and for one split second light flooded back into his features. "She sounds like a pretty lucky gal." She said as she raked her fingers through his hair. "And I'm a pretty lucky guy." He leaned in once more and kissed her before they departed for the night. As Betty walked away she cast one more lingering look towards him before he disappeared into the dark night.