Today, the second episode of DBS Friends is happening! Also, today's chapter was a recommended chapter in a review (and so are the next ones)!
Cell: Finally, fan service.
Not good fan service.
Cell: What?
Dragon Ball Super Friends
Episode 2: Unexpected Appointments
"Finally, a day where I can relax," Cell said as he sank into the couch in the Dragon Ball Super Friends house.
"I mean, even with the weird shit that is the author, at least he's giving us some down time," Goku Black, one of Cell's friends, replied.
"Yeah, true," Cell agreed before he heard a knock on the door. "Great, I wonder who's at the door."
"I got it," Frieza, another one of Cell's friends, shouted as he went to the front door. "Um, hello there-"
He then stopped talking as a gun was pointed at his head and Frieza immediately put his hands up so the gun-bearer could see them. "Wow, you have quick, useless reflexes," the gun-bearer said. "But I honestly expected Cell to get the door. That, or Zarbon. Because then I would've shot Zarbon."
Cell's eyes widened before he sat up and looked at the gun-bearer in fright. "Oh shit! It's the author!"
Lego smiled before he waved at him. "Hello!" He then pocketed the gun before slapping Frieza.
"Ouch!" Frieza yelled as he rubbed his cheek.
"Wait, that's the author?" Black asked.
"Yep!" Cell confirmed. "And he is a bitch! Especially for bringing the DevilArtemis Universe into the world of Fanfiction!"
"I can hear you," Lego said, reminding Cell of his presence. "And I can also make you go into Zarbon's room and then-"
"I don't need that image, thank you very much!" Cell interrupted.
"What's the problem?" Roshi asked.
"Jesus turns out to be gay," Lego answered.
"The fuck?" Roshi questioned.
"Okay, so I am the author as Cell probably made you all aware of," Lego began.
"Yep, he did that after Chapter 1," Black confirmed.
"Right. And I am here on behalf of the bullshit that is the DevilArtemis Universe, and also the readers and reviewers, that now you all must get jobs!" Lego finished.
"Didn't Labor Day already pass?" Cell asked.
"Doesn't matter, get a job, or I destroy the DevilArtemis Universe!" Lego threatened.
"Zeno," Cell said.
"What?" Lego questioned.
"Zeno will just snap it back into existence," Cell said.
"Fine… then I'll not destroy the DevilArtemis Universe," Lego replied.
"So we don't have to get jobs?" Black asked.
"You still do unless you want me to reverse the genders of you all besides Zarbon… and me to make clones of Zarbon," Lego threatened.
"Oh shit, don't do that!" Cell said.
"Get jobs, pay me some money, and I won't do that," Lego said. "Also, your jobs have been predetermined!"
"Are we gonna work at Frazzers?" Frieza asked.
"Nope! But I'll walk you all through your jobs!" Lego answered.
Cell groaned. "This is gonna be a long day…"
"Okay, so you're working here at Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria, and all you gotta do is work from 12 am, to 6 am, and not get killed by the animatronics," Lego told Cell as he sat in the office of said pizzeria.
"Why are they trying to kill me?!" Cell asked, looking out one of the doors and out into the hallway.
"There are many theories behind it. The first is that the souls of the dead kids that were murdered here in 1987 are possessing the animatronics and want to kill the night guards because they don't like them," Lego explained. "The second — and this is a new theory mind you — is that the animatronics are filled with the last emotions of the kids, which was agony and how they wanted to kill the man who killed them. So it's really either-or for the fandom."
"So I'm either dealing with ghosts, or metal suits filled with the kids' last emotions…" Cell recapped.
"Yep! And you're getting paid minimum wage!" Lego said. "Isn't that exciting?!"
"Not really," Cell answered honestly.
"Well just use the buttons to close the doors, and flash the lights so they'll go away. But you have a limited amount of juice in the generator for the night, soooooooo… Good luck. Also, Bonnie moved." Cell then heard Lego hang up on the line, and Cell blinked before checking the cameras and saw that Bonnie the Bunny did move, and was in the Parts and Service room.
"...well shit," Cell said aloud.
"Okay, so you're gonna be performing therapy today Frieza," Lego said as he sat in a chair in Frieza's temporary therapist office.
"Why do I have to preform therapy?!" Frieza asked. "And why the hell do I have to wear a lab coat?! I'm the Emperor of the Universe, not a pharmacist!"
"Because you will do what the real DevilArtemis says, and whatever the Anarchist smokes!" Lego said.
"Who the hell is the Anarchist?!" Frieza asked.
"A good man that exists within the world of Fanfiction, even though he's just another Izuku Midoriya that is a Badass Motherfucker. Or a BAMF for short," Lego explained. "All credit goes to BoredandSleepy2000. He is a good man."
Frieza was silent before he asked, "Who is my patient today then?"
He made a mistake when he asked that.
"I'm glad you asked," Lego said before opening the door to one of the most famous DevilArtemis Universe characters, known for his sweet and sexy shade of amethyst purple, Cooler.
"Cooler?!" Frieza exclaimed.
"Frieza?!" Cooler also exclaimed. He looked at Lego. "I thought you said I was getting a good therapist!"
"And I also think I said that he needed to work some issues out with you just like you need to with him," Lego retorted. "Now you two work your issues out here, I'll be back later, and when I come back, you two should be best friends and able to play FighterZ or Xenoverse 2 or some game together like brothers."
The two brothers glanced at each other and then glanced at Lego. "I call bullshit," they said in sync before looking at each other again.
"Bye," Lego said before he closed the door to the office and left the two brothers.
"So you want me to be a teacher, at a hero school?" Goku Black asked as he walked through the halls of a hero school with Lego.
"Yep, and this will be your job," Lego answered. "Also, don't kill any of the students please. Otherwise you won't get any payment from this."
"Alright, deal," Black said as they stopped outside a classroom door.
"Also, make sure to actually teach them something," Lego said before he grabbed the door handle. "Otherwise, they might as well just fight you since you are a wanted villain."
"Okay okay, I will," Black said before they entered the classroom and he was silent. When he finally spoke, he was looking at Lego and he asked, "Is this a joke?"
"I didn't say they wouldn't know who you were," Lego replied. "And bye." Lego then teleported out of the school, leaving Goku Black with the students of Class 1A of UA, with Izuku, Bakugo, and also Todoroki glaring at the fallen god.
"Um…" Goku Black didn't know what to do and he mumbled, "Oh boy…" He looked uncertain. "Um… meet me at Gym Gamma and I'll fight you all and give you some intense training… or something." The class, reluctantly got out of their seat and went to Gym Gamma, with Black thinking, 'I'm sooooo fucked. I don't know how to teach at all. Let alone a bunch of heroes. I might as well just fight them.' He then walked to Gym Gamma, hoping that what he was gonna teach would work.
"So I'm just working at a retirement center?" Roshi asked Lego as they entered… well, a retirement center. Where else would they be when Roshi literally said they were at a retirement center?
"Yes, and you are gonna just do whatever here, besides kill and leave the building," Lego said. "Honestly, you have the easiest job out of the Super Friends."
"Really? What about Cell? You said he was working at a pizzeria," Roshi asked.
"With haunted robots," Lego replied.
"What about Frieza?"
"Cooler is with him to try and actually get along with him and not be dicks with each other."
"Black?"
"Hero High School with three kids who hate Cell."
"Zarbon?"
"Don't…" Lego shook his head. "Don't ask about him… his was… urgh…" He shivered, despite it not being cold. "Just don't."
"Oh shit. You're acting like you seen… oh," Roshi then thought of what Zarbon's job was.
"I regret it so bad… I'm not sure if the kids will even survive," Lego said.
"Wait what?!" Roshi questioned.
"He's working at a preschool," Lego said.
"Holy shit, those kids are fucked," Roshi agreed. A Zarbon moan was heard in the background.
"Yep… I regret it…" Lego said.
"Well, hopefully the five of us can pay you off," Roshi said.
"Six," Lego suddenly said.
"Wait, six?" Roshi questioned. "Are you counting Cooler?"
"Nope. I'm counting Depressed Jimmy," Lego said. "And I know he's gonna hate his job."
"What the hell kinda job did you give him?" Roshi asked.
"You're having me work at Santa's Workshop…" Depressed Jimmy/Cell Jr. stated as they stood in the middle of Santa's Workshop in the North Pole.
"Yep!" Lego said. "And I expect you to make some toys. And if you don't, I'll give you a different task."
"I'd take anything then this," Cell Jr. said.
"Great!" Lego said before giving him a capsule. "Open it, and destroy this place."
"Wait, what?" Cell Jr. asked before Lego suddenly snapped and disappeared, with Emo Gohan from the Daitomadachi Universe appearing in his place, holding a bottle of tequila.
"Gulp… gulp… gulp…" Emo looked forward after taking a swig of tequila, and then looked around. "Where the honest fuck am I?" He then saw Cell Jr. holding a capsule. "Oh, hey there Depress."
"Hey," Depressed Jimmy replied.
"Do you know where we are? I was supposed to meet with dad in order to help him achieve El Blanco," Emo said.
"Santa's Workshop," Depressed Jimmy said before opening the capsule, which turned out to be a small armory, with guns varying from AK-47s, to Uzis, to fucking RPGs. Depressed Jimmy and Emo Gohan's eyes widened as Depressed Jimmy read a note that was attached to a golden painted RPG. "'Blow this place to the fucking ground. Fuck Santa.' Signed, Lego…" Jimmy grabbed a rocket launcher. "Well, mission accepted."
"Well, since I got nothing better to do…" Emo picked up an RPG and an M4A1, stole a few grenades, and then lit a Molotov. "Let's begin."
"Come on, it's almost 6! IT'S ALMOST 6!" Cell yelled as he slammed a door shut and he heard Chica the Chicken start banging on the door. "Why the fuck did I have to work here of all places?! Why couldn't I have worked at a place with attractive female animatronics?!" Cell exclaimed before he heard a knock on the door Chica was on. "Go away Chica!"
Chica looked in through the window and held up a paper that read, "Let me in!"
"Fuck you!" Cell retorted.
Chica narrowed her eyes before revealing the rest of the paper, which said, "And we'll give you free pizza, with pepperoni."
Cell's eyes widened. "Hmm… nah, I'd rather not get raped by Zarbon, so fuck you!" A Zarbon moan was then heard from who knows where.
He then heard something behind him, but Cell knew that he closed the other door. He slowly turned around and was alarmed by a golden bear suit sitting on the floor, looking at him with it's blank, cold, and glowing white eyes. Cell's eyes widened. "What the fuck are you?!"
The robot's head started twitching, and making weird robot noises that sound like a robot tried gargling water. It lurched at Cell and in fright Cell backhanded it into the desk and it broke the desk in. Cell shook his head, his hand actually hurting from backhanding it. He saw that it was getting back up and he closed the left door, and saw that Bonnie was not in the hallway, and out of sight. Cell ran out of the office, and all the way to the main party room.
Cell looked around as he entered the main party room, and looked to the left to see Foxy the Pirate Fox about to exit Pirate's Cove, and the fox looked surprised to see him outside of his cove. "Screw you Foxy!" Cell said before he ran away towards the main stage.
Foxy jumped out of the cove and then started running towards Cell. Cell ran into a small lane between two long tables, and Foxy couldn't stop and hit the wall, and fell to the ground. Cell laughed, before narrowly dodging a right hook from Bonnie the Bunny and Cell took off running again.
"That was a close one," Cell commented before he jumped over Chica who tried to grab him. Bonnie then ran into Chica and they fell over a table and it collapsed.
Cell jumped onto the front stage, where no one was and he put his back to the wall, so that then nothing could get him from behind. Then all of the animatronics slowly gathered onto the stage, with the Golden Freddy being in the middle. Cell shook in fear. "So this is how I die," Cell said before realizing something. "Wait a minute, I can go Ultra Instinct!" Cell was silent before he smirked and went Ultra Instinct. "Come and try me you dumbass bitches."
The animatronics then all jumped at him, but then froze in place as Cell heard a grandfather clock ring, and Cell checked the time and saw it was 6 am.
"Sweet mother of Jesus," Cell said before he walked out of the pizzeria, having won the night.
"Well, I suppose I am a therapist, so tell me brother, why do you hate me?" Frieza asked Cooler.
"Well, it's started when father started giving you more attention than me," Cooler answered. "When that happened, I grew annoyed and irritated. Eventually, I trained and got a my new form, the form that makes everyone know me as Pump Daddy C."
"Yes, I remember. Father then suddenly shifted his attention to you and I was the one who grew annoyed and irritated cause you stole all of his love," Frieza said.
"Yep. It just felt nice. But then we started fighting, and then father started to hate us both, and threatened to take away my allowance. Then here we are, trying to get along," Cooler finished.
"Honestly, why did father love me more than you?" Frieza asked, actually unsure of why their father loved him more than Cooler.
"Something about how you were stronger than me when I was a younger," Cooler replied.
"So… he loved me more because I was stronger…" Frieza said, with the both of them sitting in silence for a moment before Frieza stood up and then going behind his desk and searching the drawers for something.
"What are you doing?" Cooler asked.
Frieza then pulled out a gun. "Well, father loved us for our strength. So we'll return the love by popping a few caps in his ass."
Cooler smirked. "That is a good idea Frieza."
"We'll split half of his empire, and half the money, and soilders, and then we'll run the universe!" Frieza planned.
"Good idea. And instead of making it so that one of us gets the good half, we'll split it like pie chart, but we'll make it so we have it somewhat going into our places but not at the same time!"
"Actually, why don't we run it together? We share it and run it together!" Frieza revised.
"Perfect! Then we'll go and kill our father and take over his empire!" Cooler agreed.
Frieza smiled. "This might actually be the first time we actually got along."
"Yes, because now we have the same goal, and the same end goal in mind," Cooler said.
"Indeed," Frieza agreed before they left to go kill their father, like two brothers who were going to play catch with a football. But the football was their dad's head.
"DEKU!" Bakugo yelled before releasing an explosion at Goku Black, who dodged by teleporting away.
"Damn, these kids are pretty well trained," Black said, about to release a weak Ki Blast, but then he got hit by Izuku in the face and was sent into a wall.
Black got up and cracked his neck, and heard some popping from it. He looked at all of the class he was meant to train, as he remembered the basic assignment that he gave them.
"I want you all to fight me, until either I defeat each of you, or you defeat me," he said. "Extra points if you capture me. I'm a high class villain, so that means I won't be going easy on any of you. I'll be the most different from any villain you'll fight, and I sure as hell will make this training hell."
"Tch… this wasn't as easy as I thought," Black said before making a Ki Blade and blocking a sword from a female student called Momo Yaoyorozu. "And these students are damn near predicting my attacks!" He then grabbed a punch from another student known as Rikido Sato and then threw him into a bunch of students. He snapped the sword and kicked Yaoyorozu away. "I'm screwed at this rate!"
"SMASH!" Izuku yelled as he leapt into the area and tried to kick Black. Black barely dodged, and he then had to dodge an explosion from Bakugo again.
"Deku!" Bakugo shouted. Black didn't understand the Bakugo-Language, but he fired a Ki Blast behind him and hit Shoto Todoroki, who tried to capture him in ice. Black then punched Bakugo into a wall, and grabbed Izuku's leg before started to spin. He eventually threw Izuku into Todoroki, before leaping into the air to avoid Fumikage Tokoyami's Dark Shadow.
"BRING ME, THAT, ASS!" Dark Shadow shouted before going for Black, with everyone hearing a Zarbon moan in the background.
"I'm not gay!" Black retorted before putting his hands in front of his face and yelling, "SOLAR FLARE!"
"My eyes!" Dark Shadowed memed before disappearing.
Black started panting, before growling. "I guess it's time to actually get serious." He then started to charge his Ki, before it exploded around him and turned pink, his hair rising and standing on edge. After he was done transforming, his eyes were grey and now his hair pink, along with his aura that surged around him. He spat out some blood. "This, will be the end for you."
"Why does he sound British?" Another member of Class 1A known as Tenya Iida asked.
"Who gives two fucks?" Todoroki said. "Let's just fuck him up and call it good." That was the last thing he said before Black punched him in the stomach and sent him into a wall.
"Todoroki!" Momo yelled before making a sword and swinging at Black who grabbed it with his hand. He then glared at the rich girl before snapping the blade off of the handle and backhanding her with his empty hand.
"This is the end!" Black shouted before jumping into the air and firing a strong Ki Blast, but not enough to kill them.
He landed and he saw that some were unconscious, some were barely conscious, and only two got back up after the attack. The two were Izuku and Bakugo. Black frowned, before entering his battle stance as the two heroes entered their battle stance. Izuku then transformed into Full Cowling 100%, with Bakugo following suit.
"Prepare to get fucked," Bakugo said, a Zarbon moan in the background.
"Please, I'll defeat you both," Black retorted before the three of them clashed.
"So there I was, standing back to back with Jesus," Roshi escaped as he told his story to the elderly men and women at the retirement center. "A bible in my right hand, a machine gun in my left. Ready to bless these holy thots with the divine sauce. I was down to my last clip, so I yelled to Jesus from across the orphanage. I said, 'Jesus! I need a melee weapon!' Never have I seen a Mexican throw a sandle so damn fast before in my life. But I killed 657 prosecutes that day. Yessiree, it went down in history as the Coochie Wars."
Then people started clapping. "Wow, this reminds me of way back when we were legends in wars Barnacle Boy," Mermaid Man commented.
"Yep. Too bad we'll never get back in action," his sidekick, Barnacle Boy, replied.
"True, but we can always cheer them on by the sidelines," the retired hero said.
"I mean, I'm still old as hell and yet I'm still here, fighting on," Roshi said. "Hell, I contacted an old ally of mine and he's helping me with something out. Hell, we might have a second Coochie War at our hands."
"Oh jeez, that's terrible," Mermaid Man said.
"Yep, but me and my friends got it covered. Oh yes, we do," Roshi replied.
"Well if you need any help, we're here," Mermaid Man offered.
"The help is appreciated. Since this war might be more dangerous than the first," Roshi said. Roshi checked his watch, and then looked at the other elderly people. "My blueberry muffins are almost ready. Who wants some?" Most of the people cheered, clearly wanting some. "Well come with me to the dining hall, and we'll eat some muffins!"
Then they all headed to the dining hall, where Roshi served them blueberry muffins, and also soda.
"Cover me, I gotta reload!" Emo shouted as they took fire from the elves trying to stop them from A), destroying the workshop, and B), getting to Santa's office, where they would ultimately kill Santa Clause.
Cell Jr. shot a elf in the head and killed it, before tossing a cooked grenade at a cluster of them, which exploded and killed most of them, with only two surviving, though one died shortly after due to bleeding out because it's legs were exploded.
"Oh my god, they kill Kenny!" One of the elves shouted.
"YOU BASTARDS!" Another shouted before Emo shout a rocket at him and blew him up.
"Shut up, you piece of shit," Emo retorted before pulling out his M4A1 and opening fire upon several more elves. After he was finished firing at them, he and Cell Jr. reloaded their guns, having killed all of the elves up to Santa's office. They gathers on the walls next to the door, right outside the frame.
"Alright, I'm going to plant a C4 on the door, and blow the door open," Cell Jr. planned. "Once it's blown," a Zarbon moan was heard, "we're going to charge inside, beat the shit out of that overly-jolly fat man, and then kill him."
"Works with me," Emo said.
Cell Jr. placed a C4 charge on the door to the office, and then the two friends hid behind two pillars that were close by. Cell Jr. activated the charge and blew open the door. They both then entered the office and were shocked to see that Santa was trapped in a snow globe on his desk, and was banging on the glass, apparently unable to break out. They then heard someone chuckle in the chair behind the desk that was turned around and facing the outside of the workshop and to the small town that the workshop was in.
"So nice for you to join us…" the man turned the chair around to reveal it was All For One. "Cell Jr. and Emo Gohan…"
"All For One…" Cell Jr. said. "What the hell are you doing here? And why the hell do you have yellow hair? I thought you looked like an adult Deku from what my father told me."
"I had a budget increase so I look like how I look like in the canon when I was in my youth," the criminal mastermind answered. "And to answer your first question, I now run the North Pole."
"No wonder that author asshole told us to destroy this place, and why the elves were trying to protect this place," Emo said. "You were the reason Lego wanted us to destroy this place."
"Indeed! I, All For One, have taken over the North Pole, and I now run the Christmas Gifts. I choose who gets gifts and who doesn't. And Perfect Cell and his sesa-I mean, his pet muppet frog are not worthy of gifts. Nor are the Dragon Ball Super Friends. Also, why the fuck is Gohan a teenager?"
"I'm from the Daitomadachi Universe," Emo explained. "Not the DevilArtemis Universe. And my name is Emo."
"Well I don't care," All For One replied. "Because I run Christmas now!"
Cell Jr. raised his gun to shoot the fake Santa Clause, but then the Grinch appeared and took his gun and kicked Cell Jr. into a bookshelf. Emo saw this and immediately pulled out a knife and threw it at the Grinch, and it impaled his heart. Emo then titled his head to his right and dodged a punch, and shot a burly elf that was behind him, and killed it.
"You were saying?" Emo asked before transforming into the true form of El Blanco. "Because all I'm hearing is you're fucked."
All For One was silent. "Well shit."
Emo then jumped at All For One and punched him through the window and then pulled out his rocket launcher and shot it at All For One. It then exploded and presumably killed him, especially since the giant Christmas tree fell on top of where All For One's corpse would be.
"Good job," Cell Jr. said before he got up.
Santa continued to bang on the glass of the snow globe, clearly hoping to be released. Emo placed a C4 next to Santa, before nodding. "Thanks." They walked out of the office and eventually out of the workshop. "You want to do the honors?"
"I would," Cell Jr. said before he activated the majority of the C4s they placed, and blew all the entire workshop, and also killed Santa Clause as the building collapsed from the inside. They both walked away not looking back at the burning building they could feel from where they were despite it being extremely fucking cold.
"Welcome back," Lego said to the Dragon Ball Super Friends, and Emo who tagged along with Cell Jr. back to the house.
"I'm surprised you're here. I would've expected you to appear when we all got here," Cell commented.
"Eh, I kinda had nothing else going on," he said. "That, and Bardock was kinda bugging me about how most of the characters who've appeared in the series so far have been mainly anime characters."
"I'M RIGHT AND YOU KNOW IT!" Came the voice of Bardock from who knows where.
"Fuck you!" Lego retorted. He turned back to the Super Friends. "Well, I've seen… or read, all of your work. Good job to each of you."
They each thanked him, but then Cell stepped forward. "So… are you going to…?"
"Nope!" Lego answered. "I just said that to mess with you guys. I just wanted to see what you all would do if you all got jobs."
They each, besides Cell Jr., Emo, Frieza, Zarbon, and Cooler, looked pissed. "You mean we all did jobs for no reason?!" Black exclaimed.
"Yep!" Lego answered. "And I'm surprised Cell managed to survive the night. And that Zarbon managed to retrain from… doing anything gay…"
"Well, I still wanted to do my job. I mean, I can put my gay side to the side and actually do something seriously," Zarbon answered.
"Is it me, or is Zarbon acting more smart and sane than usual?" Cell asked.
"Yep, and I'm slightly scared," Roshi said.
"Well, I'll see you guys later," Lego said before he snapped and he and Emo disappeared.
Everyone was silent, before Frieza and Cooler said, "Guess who took over most of the universe by killing their father?"
Cell: *throws up into trash can*
Yep… and I am throwing in the Daitomadachi Universe into this world as well.
Emo: Well shit…