The Arc Begins now, on Christmas Day! Isn't that exciting?!
Let's begin tod̴̲̻͑̇a̴̰̖̕y̸̙̻̹̾̈'̵̧̻̪̅͋ş̶̦̑̃͌ ̸͇̈̈́̿c̸̘͋́͘͜ḧ̸̞̪͠ä̴̰́p̷̳͊̕t̴̞̎͒͐e̸̮͂͘̕r̷̘̽̽
Shallot's Better Revenge
"Do you really expect me to believe that we're being called about vacation time, Kermit?" Cell asked his friend frog, as they stood in the middle of nowhere, on top of some mountains that were right next to a resort.
"Why pick right next to the East City Resorts?" Kermit responded.
Cell went quiet, before seeing the point the muppet had. "Fair enough." As they waited, they heard someone land before seeing Shallot and Lego standing a bit away from them. Lego still looked as he normally did, while Shallot looked ready for a fight.
"Welcome Cell, Kermit," Lego said, while shifting his mask with one hand, the other behind his back.
"Why's Shallot here?" Cell asked Lego.
"Oh, to fight," Lego stated.
"Fight?" Cell questioned.
"Yes. Fight you." Lego then proceeded to step back, as Shallot powered up and went Super Saiyan God.
"This time, I will get my revenge!" Shallot stated. "I've been training with Lego to the point that now, I can beat you. I'm confident that I can!"
"Yeah, no…" Cell said. "Why the hell should I even fight you? That'd be a waste of time!"
"And a waste of the budget," Kermit added.
"See, that's why we're going to fight," Shallot said. "Because you two always mock me and say that I'm a waste of space. It's always been that way! I'm just a guilty pleasure to you two!"
"He's not wrong about that," Lego said. "I told him!"
"God damn it," Cell said while pinching his temple. "Look, Shallot-" Cell lowered his hand, looked up at Shallot and got kicked to the sky by said Saiyan, Shallot not taking no for an answer, before the perfect lifeform recovered. "OW! What the hell?!"
"I'm fed up with your excuses! And I am not taking no for an answer!" Shallot shouted at Cell as he took to the skies. "Do you know how hard the training was to get as strong as I am?!"
"I don't know, probably not hard enough," Cell remarked.
"I told Lego to make it as hard as he could," Shallot said. "Hard as he could."
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHOOOOOO!" Zarbon moaned.
"Thank you!" Shallot shouted at Zarbon. "Don't know why he didn't the first time…" He looked at Cell again and continued. "I was subjected to torture worse than anyone in the DAU has ever experienced! I was forced to watch Dragon Ball Evolution once everyday, I was forced to watch One Piece for an hour everyday, and then I was forced to listen to some idiots dub anime clips in a discord call!"
"That…" Cell simply raised an eyebrow at that. "...doesn't sound like training…"
"That was just my mental training," Shallot said. "I then fought multiple opponents on steroids, for 2 hours, followed by fighting a SERIOUS opponent that wasn't someone just fucking around like in the DAU, which namely happened to be Bardock from one of the author's other stories-"
"DON'T YOU SELF PLUG!" Bardock shouted from somewhere.
"I UNDERSTAND!" Shallot shouted towards the sound of Bardock's voice. Turning back to Cell again, Shallot continued. "And lastly, I trained against all of those opponents for 5 days in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber."
"The Hyper Bowling Lime Framer?!" Cell questioned, alarmed now.
"I am going to win!" Shallot stated while pointing a finger at Cell, a declaration of war. "Now fight me!"
"Right, let me see if that aligns with my schedule," Cell said as he pulled out a phone and looked through it for a moment, before Shallot shot a Ki Blast at it and destroyed it. "Hey, what?! You sick fuck!" Shallot then socked Cell in the face, before delivering a quick five punch combo to his midsection, and finishing with a quick kick that sent Cell to the ground.
Cell caught himself on the ground, before raising one of his hands and firing several Ki Blasts at Shallot, who dive bombed to close the distance between him and Cell, dodging every single one of the Ki Blasts, and teleporting right behind the perfect being and delivering a swift kick to his side, before delivering a point blank blast.
As Shallot jumped back, he looked at Kermit. "You're next frog!" Shallot said, before grabbing a punch launched at him by Cell, who then proceeded to try and land a blow on Shallot that wasn't blocked.
After Shallot hit him back, Cell began to power up, before he went Golden, with Shallot going Super Saiyan Blue in response. Shallot still landed the first punch, even with Cell transforming, and continued to pumble the perfect being, until Kermit in his Steroid Form came and punched Shallot away.
"'S up bitch?" Kermit asked.
"I'll take both of you on," Shallot said, wiping away the small amount of blood that came out of his mouth. Cell then stood up, before he and Kermit charged Shallot and the three of them fought.
While the fight would seem one sided now that Kermit was backing Cell up, it wasn't anywhere close, as Shallot was able to contend with them just fine. In fact, it was becoming clear to the main DAU characters that Shallot wasn't bluffing when he said he was gonna win. He could actually back it up.
As Shallot blocked a punch from each of them, he proceeded to kick Cell in the gut while letting go of Cell's hand in the process. He then flipped the jacked muppet onto the dirt, before sweeping him off the ground with a kick and sent him into the air. Shallot then roundhouse kicked Cell, sending him flying into a mountain. Shallot held out his arm in a random direction and fired a Ki Blast, which hit Kermit as he fell to the ground.
As the dust settled, Cell and Kermit were defeated, as they didn't get up. Shallot was surprised as well. He managed to beat them before they could do anything or pull out some secret bullshit technique.
"I did it," Shallot said. "I fucking did it!"
Lego landed next to Shallot. "Yep! Congrats Shallot! You are now able to say you're the strongest in the DAU. At least for now, since there is bound to be a strong opponent for you to fight eventually."
"Well I definitely gotta thank you and Tale, that's for sure," Shallot said. "It's because of you two I got this strong, and continued with that hellish training."
"I'll make sure to pass the message onto him," Lego said with a cheerful look. Lego then fired a small Ki Blast at Cell and Kermit, which healed them. "So, what'd you two learn?"
"You suck and can go to Hell," Cell answered.
"I feel sore muscles in new places that I never knew existed in my muppet body," Kermit replied.
Lego looked between the two of them. "Not… not anything involving Shallot?"
"Still hate him," Cell admitted.
"Yep," Kermit said, pulling a gun and trying to shoot Shallot, who caught the bullet.
Shallot rolled his eyes, not surprised by this. "Well maybe you two should take note that I'm not gonna deal with your shit anymore, and I'm not gonna associate myself with you two if you keep this shit up."
"Please, like we want you around anyways. You're a guilty pleasure, and that's all you will be in the DAU," Cell said as he stood up and dusted himself off. "Now do me a favor and go die in a ditch."
"You're just jealous that I floored your ass," Shallot said.
"Probably," Kermit added.
"Fuck you Kermit," Cell said, before suddenly the clouds grew dark, and filled the sky. They could all see perfectly well, but it was so sudden and random that it confused them. "Yo, author, can't you remove these clouds?"
"Yeah, hold on," Lego said, before firing another blast at the clouds, but nothing happened. "...what?"
"Is something wrong?" Cell asked before the sky began to rain, but the rain was blood red, though it didn't stain any of their clothing or skin red like blood. "What the hell?"
"Well, looks like Yaldabaoth needs to get killed," Lego said. "I'll call Joker, he'll take care of this."
"Don't bother calling the Joker," a new, unfamiliar voice called out to them, which stopped Lego in his tracks. "I don't know who this, Yaldabaoth is, but the Joker from DC will most certainly not be able to take care of me."
The four people turned to look at the newcomer, and Lego's eyes widened in shock and fear as he saw who was here. "You shouldn't be here," Lego said to the newcomer. "You should be dead, and in the Trash! I deleted you!"
The man, who bore a striking resemblance to Lego, laughed maniacally. The only notable difference was the lack of the mask, the red shirt, eyes and hair he had. And the evil aura that surrounded him as well. "Well, you should've checked twice, you sack of shit," the Lego doppelganger said.
"I'm beyond confused," Cell said. "Who the hell are you?!"
"Where do I begin?" The imposter said. "Do I start with my name, my history, or ripping your hearts out and feasting on your innards?" As gruesome as the last one sounded, he started at the beginning. "I suppose my name would do for now." He pointed at himself with his thumb. "I, am Evil."
Cell, Kermit, and Shallot just looked at each other, before looking at the man again, with Cell saying, "We kinda already guessed you're an evil person. I mean, you have that aura about you-"
"See, this is why I hate you Lego!" The man shouted at Lego. "This is why I fucking hate you! You, the Corps, and especially every single one of the dumbasses who can't take a fucking hint!" He glared at Cell, and repeated. "My name, is Evil! Literally, Evil! That's it! That's my name! Evil! And make one joke, I'll kill everyone and everything you love!"
The three members of the DAU looked at Lego. Lego, who looked quite sheepish and embarrassed by the presence of Evil, then said, "He's… one of my earliest OCs…"
"You're kidding me," Cell said. "You named him after a word?"
"It was a bad phase and I was young," Lego said. "He was a cool villain at the time, but then… I needed to-"
"You wanted to remove us, from the picture!" Evil said. "Must I remind you of your other OCs? And also of the Corps? Hell, what about that first story of yours that you made when you began your little 'career'?" Evil spat every word with venom and spite, and Lego scratched at his head in frustration.
"Evil, shut the hell up, before I send you back," Lego threatened.
"Are we gonna have a duel?" Cell questioned.
"This would be one sided and over in an instant," Evil stated, as he began to power up with a black and red aura. "I'm going to destroy everything you have Lego, one step at a time, just like you did my life!"
"You're cringe and have bad character!" Lego shouted as his hair turned white and he actually went Mastered Ultra Instinct. "Now bring it mother fucker!"
"Sure thing!" Evil said as his hair rose and turned a darker shade of red than it already was, while his eyes turned fully black with the exception of his red pupils. He now radiated a demonic aura now scared Cell, Kermit, and Shallot shitless.
"God damn! This power is insane!" Shallot said as he raised an arm to guard himself. "I'm pretty sure he's stronger than me!"
"I'll let you in on something!" Evil began telling Lego. "Do you know how you have been having a lot of trouble lately? Especially with your little base?"
Lego's eyes widened. "What?!"
"You think they forgot to close the door to your office?" Evil asked, referring to Cell and Bardock back during chapter 27. "No, I was disguised as you and took the key from them, and erased that memory from them, and then unleashed Zarbon upon your base!"
"What?!" Cell questioned.
"And do you really think the problems in your theater are natural?" Evil asked again. "That the remote would just stop working for your My Hero bullshit?!"
"You're telling me that-?!" Lego didn't finish, even when he saw Evil's smile widen.
"I have been giving you shit for months now!" Evil said as he began to laugh again. "And this time around, there will not be a round 2! This will be our final fight, you load of shit! You and your powers will not defeat me at all! Not with the power I've amassed!"
Lego gritted his teeth, before he and Evil engaged in combat, and seemed to disappear entirely, which caused the clouds to clear and disappear.
"Where did they go?!" Cell questioned, as he looked around, with Shallot and Kermit looking around as well, before Lego suddenly hit them and they went sprawling onto the ground.
As the three parodied off of a parody characters looked up, they saw that Lego was now a bloody mess, and was weakly standing back up, while Evil in his demonic powered up state was perfectly fine, and was laughing.
"Where'd your power go? You know, all of the ones you stole from the copies of characters from the multiverse?" Evil asked. "It seemed like you grew weaker while I was away for those cold, dark, and lonely two years…"
Lego didn't even reply, as he weakly grabbed his mask and said, "Persona…" Out came a new one he hadn't shown to everyone, as he said, "Messiah!" He then weakly gripped his mask and yelled, "Oratorio!"
He was then healed to his full strength, and powered up again, while Evil raised an eyebrow. "Interesting," was all that the man who was literally evil incarnate said. "For some reason, with a man as two faced as you are, that fits you."
As the two engaged in combat again, it ended as it did before with Lego on the ground, though this time around Evil actually had a few cuts and bruises on him.
"Damn, they're so fast, we can't even see their fight!" Cell said. "Just how strong did he make Evil?!"
"I'm gonna go help Lego," Shallot said, as he powered up to Mastered Ultra Instinct. "You guys get out of here!" Shallot then charged in, before Evil merely grabbed Shallot by his tail from behind, and slammed him into the ground.
As Lego got up, he kicked Evil away, before grabbing Shallot, Cell, and the muppet, and teleporting away, while Evil got up. He saw the Lego had disappeared, and already deduced that Lego hopped dimensions. "You damn sissy," Evil said to himself as he looked around. "You may think you have won today, but make no mistake… when you return, I will have destroyed everything here, including your precious little carbon copies of characters." He then began to laugh maniacally, as he was already ready for the bloodshed and carnage he was about to unleash upon the DAU.
And even if someone thinks they could stop him, they would be wrong… and they would die for nothing.
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