Cell vs Black Ops 6 Beta (Early Access)

"Cell, where have you dragged me this time?" Kermit asked Cell as the two stood in a field of dirt in a void that was black.

"We're here to participate in the Black Ops 6 Beta," Cell said with a smile on his face, holding a shotgun that had light blue lightning sparks flying off of it.

Kermit looked at the shotgun for a moment, before looking at Cell. "Did you pre-order the Vault Edition?"

"Yes, yes I did," Cell said proudly. "I'm telling you Kermit, Treyarch is going to save the franchise! We're even getting Verdansk back in early 2025!"

"You play Warzone?" Kermit asked, surprised.

"Fuck no, Warzone is ass," Cell said instantly, a hint of defensiveness in his voice. "But I MIGHT start playing because there is a new camo grind coming for the Black Ops 6 guns."

"Uh… huh…" Kermit replied, before looking down at the shotgun in Cell's hand.

"Why so down Kermit?" Cell asked. "This is a Black Ops game! Treyarch never misses!" The muppet didn't really believe Cell, but the Perfect being looked over at Zarbon, Roshi, Black, and Rex who were also joining them. "Ya ready boys?!"

"Fuck yeah!" Goku Black shouted.

"I'm going to send people to kingdom come, heh heh!" Roshi said.

"FiGhT mEh!" Rex shouted.

"Before we start," Zarbon began, causing everyone to look at him. "There aren't going to be children shouting racial slurs while we play, are there?"

This seemed to genuinely surprise everyone present, considering how specific the concern was. Cell shook his head however. "No, there will not be children shouting racial slurs, nor will there be adults shouting racial slurs as the Code of Conduct has been updated to instantly ban people from voice chat should they say a racial slur, or any other derogatory term… for the most part."

"So we can still call people bitches?" Roshi asked.

Cell nodded slowly. "Yes…"

"How 'bout pussies?" Black asked as he raised his hand.

"That too…"

"CoWaRdS?" Rex asked.

"The usual shit!" Cell said. "Now let's-"

"Hold on one second," Kermit began, before turning to Zarbon. "Why do you care about children shouting racial slurs?"

"Because it's wrong!" Zarbon said. "And quite frankly very disturbing. Not only is this a game about serious violence and warfare, but children should never learn to say slurs of any caliber."

"At least you have standards," Black remarked, before giving Roshi an accusatory look.

"Stop looking at me like that you sonuvabitch before I team kill you," Roshi shouted at Black, glaring at him.

"Focus that aggression on the enemies, boys!" Cell shouted. "Now let's go give these motherfuckers a good pounding and assert our dominance!"

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Zarbon moaned loudly, turned on by the idea.

The team then proceeded to queue up for a match…

…and proceeded to get their shit ran and got sent straight to the lobby.

"I don't understand!" Cell shouted as he slammed his gun to the ground and punched the dirt. "Why… Why are there so many goddamn sweats?!"

Kermit looked at Cell and patted him on the back, before looking over at the rest of the team, who were full of bullet holes… except for Goku Black, who single-handedly carried the team. "Uh… you do realize the most recent Call of Duty, Modern Warfare 3, is a very sweaty and campy game, right?"

"But this is meant to be Treyarch!" Cell said. "There aren't supposed to be campers! Furthermore, this is the beta Kermit! THE BETA!"

"ReX bOnEs DoN't BeNd LiKe ThIs," Rex said, having many bruises and also having his legs bent in ways they should never bend.

"The fact they executed a dinosaur baffles me," Black commented.

"If he were executed, he'd be dead," Roshi said, having many stab wounds.

Black glared at Roshi. "I'm talking about the Finishing Moves you clown."

"I wasn't finished at all!" Zarbon shouted. "Nor have I finished either… Oohhhoo…"

"We did not need to hear that," Black said as he looked at Zarbon, a bit disgusted.

"Damn you Infinity Ward," Cell shouted, before shouting into the air, "DAMN YOU!"

…ugh, I am literally only playing the Black Ops 6 Beta for the rewards, and that is it.

But seriously though, the fact there are sweats in a Beta that hasn't even been out for several days is mind boggling, and I needed to release a chapter just… venting about it.

Alright, peace. Let's see where the next chapter takes us.