The Perfect Cleaners

Outside of a house in a generic city environment, Cell stood alongside Goku Black, Zarbon and Hisoka.

Zarbon looked at Cell and Goku Black appreciatively. "Thank you boys for coming-"

"Oooooohhooooo~!" Hisoka moaned in a sensual way that was rather quiet considering the usual volume of Zarbon and Hisoka's moans.

"-to help out," Zarbon finished with a smile on his face. "It really means a lot."

"As long as nothing bad happens, it's nothing," Cell replied.

"What's the situation?" Goku Black asked, wearing not only a bulletproof vest, but holding an M4A1 assault rifle with a red dot sight and a foregrip.

"Why are you wearing that?" Zarbon asked, confused.

"You said we were cleaning house," Goku Black answered. "Why else would I be prepped to kill people?"

"Oh, you misinterpret my big boy's text," Hisoka said, wrapping his arm around Zarbon's shoulder and rubbing his pecs possessively. "We're cleaning my house so I can decide what to and not to get rid of before I move in with my darling~."

"Goddamnit!" Goku Black shouted, a bit annoyed. "Be more specific next time!" As Goku Black opened the back of the Mystery Machine, they saw he had enough weaponry for a small patrol of soldiers, making the three other men present raise an eyebrow in surprise.

"Where the fuck do you get this shit?!" Cell questioned, before Goku Black deposited the vest and the assault rifle and closed the van doors.

"I have my methods," Black replied.

"Well, I do love a prepared man~ ," Hisoka said with a wink, causing Goku Black and Cell to shiver a bit.

"I am taken," Black reminded Hisoka. "And so are you!"

"Can we just… get to the cleaning?" Cell asked, trying to get everyone back on track.

"Right, right, this way~!" Hisoka said as he led everyone into the house.

Although there wasn't much inside of the living room, kitchen, side rooms, or even Hisoka's bedroom closet, inside of the attic was a much more cluttered space, filled with boxes, trinkets, and other things.

"Jesus Christ, why do you have so much shit?!" Cell shouted, surprised by the amount of real gold Hisoka had in a literal treasure chest.

"I took part in a lot of robberies ," Hisoka answered with a cheery grin. "I got to keep a portion of the spoils ."

"Oh my," Zarbon said with a smile of his own as he opened a box and saw a lot of handcuffs. "Quite the haul here~." Cell and Goku Black each shifted an inch away from Zarbon as a result of seeing the handcuffs.

As they continued cleaning up, Goku Black placed several items in a box to the side, including a Mask of Jealousy, a dead Blue Spider Lily, and also an invisibility cloak. After a moment, he fished out a book from a box and raised an eyebrow. "Where the hell did you get this old ass book from?" Goku Black asked Hisoka, causing Hisoka to look over.

"Why, I got that one at an auction raid!" Hisoka answered, recalling the raid. "It was quite the raid if I do say so myself~ ."

As Goku Black opened the book and read the contents, he was confused by the language on the inside. "What the fuck is this shit?"

"It's either something that requires deciphering, or it's an actual real language lost to time," Hisoka answered with a hum. "That or it's fake."

"Damn, this book has lore?" Cell asked, surprised.

Suddenly, one of the boxes in the attic opened and MatPat himself popped out of the box, shouting, "LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE?!" This was then followed by Goku Black knocking MatPat out with the book he had, before Zarbon and Hisoka shoved MatPat back into the house.

"You have MatPat in your attic?!" Cell questioned Hisoka.

"He is one of the most valuable people on the planet," Hisoka replied. "He's an icon . Honestly, I forgot I had him up here myself ."

"How is he even alive?" Black questioned, surprised as Zarbon taped the box close.

"He's a Theorist," Zarbon replied. "And an internet legend. How could he possibly ever die?"

"Touché," Black replied as he continued to look through the book in his hands. "Seriously, what even is this shit?"

"Whatever it is, it's probably not worth anything," Cell said as he looked through the book now, swiping it from Black's hands. "Does this book even have a name?"

"I think Chrollo said it was the 'Book of Leviathan'," Hisoka answered. "I could be wrong~ ."

"Well whatever it is, it'll probably be best to sell it for cheap on the internet," Cell remarked, crossing his arms. "It doesn't seem useful, and I can't detect any energy from it."

"Similarly, I can't detect any Nen," Hisoka said. "Therefore, probably useless like you've said."

Goku Black nodded as he stood up. "Hmm. Well, guess I'll go post a listing for it on EBay." With that, Black left the attic.

"Lucky," Cell commented with a scoff, before picking up a lightsaber from another cardboard box. "Oh shit, a lightsaber?!" As Cell turned it on, a black beam came out of the handle, informing Cell that he held the Darksaber. "The fuck?!"

"Oh my~," Zarbon said as he observed the lightsaber in Cell's hands. "Now that is a blade."

"Please, we all know you prefer a different type of blade~ ," Hisoka remarked as he looked at Zarbon suggestively.

"Goddamn!" Black shouted from downstairs, drawing everyone's attention.

Cell got out of the attic and walked to Black, who was chilling in the kitchen. "Everything alright?"

"I just posted the listing for this damn book," Black said as he held up his phone. "Someone already bought it!"

Cell raised an eyebrow. "...well that's concerning," Cell replied. This was followed by a knock on the door. "Hold on, I'll get it." Cell opened the door to Hisoka's house and saw a bunch of armed psychos and bandits from the Borderlands franchise in front of the house, all behind one psycho who had a very tiny arm and a very lanky arm.

"I'M HERE FOR THE BOOK OF LEVIATHAN!" The psycho shouted. "AS I HAVE PURCHASED IT FOR A MIGHTY $5, IT IS RIGHTFULLY MINE!" The psycho held out his lanky arm. "HAND IT OVER."

Cell took a step back, before looking at Black. "Uh… Black? The book please?"

"Fine, fine," Black said, walking over and handing the Book of Leviathan to the psychos.

"THIS SHALL HELP US ACHIEVE GREAT THINGS!" The psycho shouted. "MEN, SHOUT IN JOY!" This was followed by all the psychos and bandits shouting and screaming like mad men. Cell slowly closed the door before locking it.

Cell looked at Black, a worried expression on his face. "I think we should be concerned."

"Relax, it's just gibberish," Black said, patting Cell on the shoulder. "And to be honest, those guys seemed rather stupid. I doubt they'd get anything out of the book."

Cell shrugged in acceptance. "Yeah, fair enough." The two then walked towards the ladder to the attic, Cell then asked, "Why 5 dollars though?"

"Eh, I'd rather not overprice for junk," Black replied. "I'm above you mortals in that manner."

Please, you all as readers should know it ain't junk.

Prepare for next chapter. Shit getting wild.