Hi guys, thank you for being so patient with an update. I believe if you were a very early reader of the story - this is the chapter where I put the story on hold indefinitely. But never fear, I have written another 12 chapters and am still writing because this now has 100% of my attention :) If you have any suggestions, or things you might like to see, definitely drop me a comment :)
Olivia awoke with a pounding head. The bed was empty beside her and it took her a few moments to figure out exactly where she was and what had happened the night before.
The light that peeked in from his window felt like solar flares that burned in to the back of her retinas. She wondered the time but didn't dare open her eyes to look. Her stomach lurched as she rolled over. She had underpants on but was missing a top. She twisted her fists in to the crisp bedsheets and pulled them up beneath her arms. Her brain felt like i was floating around, hitting her skull as the room spun from any slight movement.
She wondered where Trevor was, she wanted to cry, she hated herself for drinking so much and the night before seemed like a blur— from the parts that she could actually remember.
She moaned with self-pity out loud. She knew she had to be sick but she wanted to hold off for as long as possible, the longer she slept, the better she'd feel.
"Liv?" Trevor appeared in the doorway, he had just been in the bathroom. He felt a little seedy too, but he knew that both Olivia and his cousin had had way more to drink. "Are you awake?" he wondered.
"Yeah…" she muttered. "I feel terrible."
He couldn't help but to smile compassionately at her. He closed the bedroom door and got back in to bed. "Hot?" he wondered.
"Mmmm," she replied.
He picked up a remote by his bed and turned the air conditioner on and pulled the sheet back over him. He reached over and stroked her hair. "I've put a water on your side of the bed. Would you like some?" he asked.
She nodded with a pout. He smiled and chuckled. He leaned over her and picked up the bottle of water and opened it. The hiss of the cold, carbonated water made her mouth seem as dry as the desert if that were even possible, she thought. She didn't know if she'd be able to lift her head.
"I'm scared if I move I'll vomit, I feel like I'm on a boat…" she admitted, still not daring to open her eyes.
"Okay, don't move…" he said simply, getting up out of his bed, setting down the cold sparkling water and going back out to his kitchen to get her a straw. He knew it was a little over-the-top, but he didn't mind obliging her. He didn't want her to feel bad. He opened a cupboard above his fridge where he kept random party supplies and pulled out a bendy straw and took it back in to the room. He threaded it in to the bottle positioned the straw on an angle for her.
"Where did you go?" she had moved slightly, so that her face was no longer buried in the pillow and her words were no longer muffled.
"To get you a straw, sweetheart," he replied as if the answer couldn't have been clearer.
"Oh, I love you…" she blurted out.
He decided to let it go and not repeat anything back now that she was sober. He wanted to discuss the previous night, but he also wanted to make sure she was feeling better first. "Okay, you have to help me out though," he couldn't resist. He kissed her forehead. "Open your mouth…"
"Please promise me you're putting a straw in my mouth, my eyes are too sensitive to open."
Trevor began to laugh. "Don't be crass Olivia, I'm trying to help you." She opened her eyes and let a faint smile cross her lips at her own joke.
He lowered the bottle and let her guide the straw to her lips and watched her drink half of the bottle. She let her eyes close again and waited for it to settle.
She continued guzzling the drink again until there was only a quarter of the liquid left. "Thanks," she murmured. He put the bottle up.
"You're welcome…" he laid back down and inched closer to her. He pulled the sheets up over her cool shoulders and felt her arms slipping around him.
"Can you stay in bed with me for awhile?" she asked in a voice that he read as being a little needy. He didn't mind. He kissed the crown of her head. "Sure… just close your eyes and sleep though."
/
Olivia could woke up to the sound of the television in the living room. Trevor wasn't beside her but she didn't mind. She felt slightly better than she had earlier. She slowly sat up and had another drink of whatever was left of the water. She stared in to space for a moment, a little frazzled by the night of stupidity and drinking.
She yawned and took the tank top of Trevor's that she had worn when she got in to bed and slipped it over her shoulders. She didn't have any pants, she didn't bring pyjamas with her as she hadn't intended on staying the night. She glanced around the room slowly, letting her lethargic vision adjust. She set her sights upon a pair of pyjama pants that had been thrown over the end of his bed. She lifted herself up and grabbed the pants. She slid them on and took the empty bottle from her bedside and found her way sluggishly in to the living room.
Trevor and Christian were both lazing over both of his couches, taking up space. Both of their eyes were drawn to her. "Hey beautiful," Trevor greeted her.
Olivia couldn't help but to smile and Christian lifted his hand in greeting. "Wanna come lay down?" Trevor asked. He scooted back, showing her there was enough beside him on the couch.
"Sure, in a second, I just might need another drink."
"Alcohol?" Trevor rose an eyebrow.
She furrowed her brow. "For goodness sakes, Trevor, it's literally still morning, I'm notthatmuch of an alcoholic."
Christian snickered. "It's actually 1 o'clock… but if you need more water, you know where I keep my Dr. Olivia Benson sparkling water," he smiled at her fondly.
She couldn't help but feel a little soft for him, realising that heonlykept sparkling water becauseshedrank it. She went to help herself and grabbed another fresh bottle and discarded the old in his recycling.
She came to the couch and watched Trevor grab a cushion and pat the spot beside him. "Thanks," she murmured.
"How are you feeling?" Trevor asked her as she got comfortable beside him. "Are you cold?" he wondered. His body temperature always ran hot and he knew from experience, everyone else seemed to freeze in his apartment with his air conditioning always set to an arctic breeze.
"Yeah, I'm cold, it's always cold here…" she replied, nestling her body against him. Trevor grabbed for the blanket on the back of his couch and spread it out over her. She felt warm and cosy with him and loved how they'd both given up pretending that they were only friends in front of his cousin.
Trevor was proud of her, proud to bewithher. He slid an arm over her waist, pulling her closer, his chest pressing in to her back. "Are you hungry?" he asked.
"I don't think I could eat right now," she murmured wearily.
She felt him shift behind her, propping himself up on a pillow. He lifted his hand from her waist and began brushing her hair from her forehead slowly as he watched the television.
"I really need some Burger King or something—" Christian remarked, "Maybe not this second but soon."
"Yum…" Olivia shadowed his sentiment. "Can I cut in on that order too?" she asked, shutting her eyes as if that it would help the dull pain in her temple and the swishing of her stomach.
"Of course, I encourage it. What about you, Trev?" he asked.
"Mmmm yeah, probably could go a giant cold soda and a cheese burger."
"Stop it, I don't know if I want to eat or be sick," Olivia groaned. "Christian, why did we let Trevor push us in to drinking so much?" she joked.
Christian laughed, "I don't know, but honestly, this peer-pressure I felt last night justhasto stop. Maybe we should start an intervention?"
"Me!?" Trevor exclaimed, "you're both crazy!I'mthe one who felt pressure, you guysmademe do a shot of expensive whisky, that I might like to point out is all but empty and I only had thatoneshot."
"I don't have to lay here and listen to these outrageous lies from such a common alcoholic and nor should you, Christian!" Olivia continued, ignoring Trevor's incredulousness, enjoying teasing him, it was the only thing that kept her smiling beneath her blanket of hung-over misery.
Christian began to laugh. "Olivia, stop, I'm afraid he's going to cry."
They both began to laugh at Trevor's expense but Trevor didn't mind, he grinned at them, so happy that they got along so easily and so casually, bonding over drinking and hangovers. He didn't mind them making fun of him because he knew it was harmless and without any malice to it.
"You guys are really mean," he complained weakly.
Olivia turned her head and grinned at him over her shoulder. She could tell he didn't really care. He gave her a wink and it set off a warm, fuzzy feeling inside of her. She was afraid if she smiled any harder that her face would begin to hurt. She watched his smile turn to a grin too and there was something so divinely sexy about him — he was knee-weakening attractive, the kind of good-looking that made her stomach flip-flop. It left her feeling unsettled but unable to pull away from him as she wished she could.
Christian lifted himself dramatically from the couch, breaking their lingering exchange of adoration. "I'm going to have a shower and cry in the fetal position over how shitty I feel," he announced.
"That actually sounds like a great idea…" Olivia replied.
They all laughed.
"You gonna hang out with us all weekend?" Trevor asked the second that his cousin was out of earshot.
"Is that an invite?" Olivia shot back, turning her body to face him. She lifted her eyebrow in question.
"Yes, it's an invite, a very, very strong invite." He stroked her hair again, one of his most affectionate gestures, she thought.
"I don't want to disappoint, so I better stay and accept," she shrugged, letting her eyes search his. His gaze was certainly taking away the pain of her headache, that was for sure.
When he stared at her, she always found herself looking away for the power behind his pale-green eyes was disarming and hypnotic, in a way that she knew she would never be able to say no to him. "I meant what I said last night…" he told her, "and I really hope you remember."
She remembered and she had wondered if it was right, if both of their admissions was going to bring nothing but the tumbling of walls or crashing regret — in that moment, she felt willing to take the chance but she didn't know if she would be able to feel the same way when she was on her own second guessing every single choice she had made over the past 24 hours.
"Me too…" she replied almost inaudibly.
He smiled and took her cheek, smoothing his thumb over her skin. He leaned over and kissed her lips despite knowing that she had morning breath — so did he, he didn't really care.
She turned her head, breaking the kiss. "Trev, I need to go home and get some clothes…"
"Okay, we can do that…maybe we'll order some lunch first, what do you think? At least you might feel a bit better if you've eaten."
She nodded in agreement as her eyes fell over his pink lips. She lifted her head slightly to align her mouth with his.
/
"I really hate this place," Olivia muttered to Trevor, turning her nose up at the foul smell of stale piss in her hallway. "it's gross."
"So find a new apartment, I'll help — closer to mine."
"I don't have a million dollars," she rolled her eyes. She opened the door and let him in. He was glad to see the apartment was tidy, nothing like the mess he had witnessed weeks back. "Help yourself to food or whatever, I vaguely remember eating your snacks last night, feel free to raid my cupboards. I'll just grab some stuff…"
Trevor never said a word, he watched her disappear in to her bedroom. He slowly made his way to the kitchen and felt happy to find a bottle of orange juice. He poured himself a glass and one for Olivia knowing that it would have helped with their hangover.
On the countertop was a piece of paper with her surprisingly legible, loopy handwriting on it — for a doctor, that was. It was the phone number of the Cath lab and the name of the leading cardiac surgery.
He picked up the pen beside it and looked up to make sure Olivia was still out of vision. "Do it" he wrote beneath her notes, "I believe in you." he put the pen down and went and took Olivia's juice to the living room and put it down on the coffee table.
He answered a few work emails while he waited and soon enough Olivia came from the bedroom with a backpack. She had changed and was wearing a pair of leggings and a hoodie that she had zipped up over a white t-shirt he had given her to put on back at his place.
She had gathered all of her hair off of her face and tied it back in to a long ponytail. He had never seen her wear her hair like that before, a smile crossed his mouth. She lookedstunningand so much fresher than she did when she walked in.
"Liv," he breathed, "you lookbeautifulwith your hair like that…" he stood up quickly as if it was disrespectful to remain seated.
He watched her cheeks flush slightly, "thanks, but I still don't feel great…"
"Come and sit down, I poured you some orange juice," he gestured to the spot beside him on her small couch.
She put the bag down and took a seat, "thanks," she replied. "I feel better for eating. Did you grab some snacks?"
"Nah, I thought we could go past the deli and get some cheese and antipasto and we can eat badly for dinner too?" he suggested.
"Nowyou're talking dirty," she smiled at him affectionately. She almost finished the glass. He watched the very last of the liquid slide in to her mouth.
"Here, I'll take it, I'm just going to use the bathroom is that okay?" he wondered.
"Of course, you know where it is…" he took the empty glass to the sink and rinsed it and put it in her dishwasher and navigating himself to the bathroom.
Olivia sank back in to the couch and tucked her legs beneath her and gave a yawn. It was almost 3pm. She was starting to feel her mood darkening but was happy that Trevor was with her. He always knew how to make her feel better.
She scrolled through her phone and saw a friend request on her social media page. She clicked on it and saw Charlotte's face. She sighed and furrowed her brow. She had only recently allowed Trevor and Meghan to connect with her over the app — she didn't really want her old life to come back to haunt her.
She was done with Charlotte; completely and utterly done.
She had informed her kindly and lovingly that she wouldn't be replying to anymore text messages from her and asked her not to call her anymore. She declined the friend request, feeling a little annoyed. She didn't want to drag the break up out any longer than necessary. Technically, she and Charlotte had broken up almost half a year earlier.
It was already like flogging a dead horse.
Charlotte calling her at work had been the last straw for Olivia.
Trevor remerged and noticed Olivia was distracted, tapping out something on her phone, glancing briefly at him. He made his way behind the couch to where she had put down her bag and went to pick it up. "Is everything okay?" he wondered.
"Just Charlotte acting like a fool," she replied, feeling his hands on her shoulders from where he stood behind the couch.
"Still harassing you?" he wondered, "you know, if you genuinely don't want to hear from her, Liv, you might need to give her a formal warning to stop and let her know the consequences of her not respecting you."
"I know that," she agreed, "I just… still feel guilty and responsible."
She felt his fingers kneading in to the skin of her shoulders and she couldn't deny how instantly tension-relieving it felt. "I know you feel that way, sweetheart, but you have absolutelynoreason to. You've apologised, you've asked her to stop now."
Rather than pressing send on a pleading message to her ex, she locked the phone and tossed it beside her on to the couch and sighed. "Can you just follow me around for the rest of my life massaging my shoulders?"
He laughed softly and she felt his lips atop of her head. "Sure, I'd be taking a massive pay cut but it'd be worth it.
She grinned and leaned in to the back of he couch cushion, tipping her head upward to show him that she appreciated his affection. "Thanks, Trev," she said softly, "for being such a good guy."
She covered her hand over one of his. He leaned over and kissed her again, a weird, upside down kiss that she wasn't sure about, but his lips against hers sparked something inside of her.
She felt the tip of his tongue briefly touch hers before he closed his mouth. "I know you're worried about hurting me, but I think you're more worried aboutgettinghurt," he spoke slowly, letting each word settle in.
She lifted her head, feeling the spark fizzle immediately, suddenly remembering the conversation that she had forgotten from the night before. She felt her cheeks heat up; embarrassed by her own vulnerability.
He felt the shift in her attitude. He wondered if he'd said the wrong thing, but he believed himself to be spot on. He continued giving her a shoulder rub. "Look at what I left Charlotte with…" her voice trailed off, "I can't do that to another person."
"I actually don't think that you did anything crazy, what were you supposed to do, Olivia? Marry her, have a child with her and hope that one day something might flick inside of you you would suddenly have all the right feelings?" he asked, "because I gotta tell you, holding someone back from finding the true love that they deserve is far more selfish and awful. It's hard to see the clarity when you're hurt, but she will get over it."
"I know that," she replied meekly. "I just hate the way I make people feel when they realise I'm not who they think I am."
"I knowexactlywho you are, you don't think I do, but I do… and I really love that person." She went to reply but his lips on the back of her neck made her close her mouth again. Her skin, slightly moistened, he kissed her again and again, leaving a small trail of kisses til he reached the sensitive part just behind her ear.
She let her eyes fall shut and tipped her head slightly to the side to allow him more room. He made her powerless— she wanted to protest, she wanted to tell him that he hadnoidea how she could seem to ruineverythingthat ever meant anything.
Most of all, she wanted to admit that he was in-part correct, shewasafraid of getting hurt.
It was easier to concentrate on his kisses; not that she had much choice in it, she thought. Her skin tingled beneath the spot where his mouth slowly impressed upon her. She felt every silky movement against her as his lips dragged across her flesh, coming together to kiss her again, each one more torturous than the last.
She felt feverish and goosebumps rose upon her skin. She let out a soft sigh. His hands continued to massage her shoulders, moving a little further forward and she knew that he was trying to discern whether or not it was okay to continue on.
It was certainly easier than talking about her feelings, she thought and it felt a lot nicer too. She closed her eyes tighter and concentrated on the way that his kisses were making her feel. "Are you trying to start something that you can't finish?" she asked him with a chuckle.
She felt his light laughter reverberating against her skin. "I can stop?" he offered, "but…" he let his fingertips graze over the spot between her neck and her collarbone where her goosebumps had risen, "something tells me you're okay with how this is going?"
"Mmmhm," Olivia replied under her breath, "very assumptive of you, Dr. Langan…" he smirked to himself. The afternoon before, Olivia had done everything but play hard-to-get and he couldn't imagine that she was going to begin.
Her skin tickled as his fingertips brushed over her, she tried to coach herself to breathe a little slower, to take her time andnotgrab his hand and drag it to her breast.
"Like I said," he pressed his lips against her ear and kissed her, lowering his voice to a tone that was smooth and something akin to velvet, "I can stop."
"Better not…" replied, tipping her head again. She felt his tongue against her skin igniting a feeling that she knew she wouldn't be coming back from. He leaned over the back of the couch, finding that the position was beginning to cramp him, but from his vantage point he could see her body responding to him which was starting to give him an erection.
He slid his hand down the front of the t-shirt that she was wearing, slowly, slowly until it reached her breast; held back by the constraints of what felt like a very flimsy bralette.
She cursed beneath her breath as his mouth found hers. He reached beneath the fabric, slipping his fingertips over the softness of her breast until he reached the peak of her nipples. She moaned in to his mouth, letting her tongue fill his.
He squeezed her gently and she arched her back, trying to press herself in to his hold more. She broke off the kiss, a little breathless. She turned her body to the back of the couch to face him, raising herself to her knees.
He lifted his hands, thinking Olivia was protesting.
She smiled at him, lifting her eyes to meet his serious expression. "That's better, I can see your beautiful face," she remarked.
Trevor felt her words hit him like a lift of confidence. She set him afloat and reached up to circle her arms around him. He took another step closer and recapture their kiss; taking the urgency down a notch. He remembered the day before, everything was a little fast-paced; the urge to want to please her and her need to push away her pain overshadowed any genuine feelings that was present between them.
He wanted Olivia to feel how much he cared about her; how wonderful it could be to be with her without any outside influences that pushed them together — just genuine affection without any other implications.
He reached between them and pulled the zipper of her hoodie down until the two parts of fabric separated. She helped him by shrugging out of it and it fell behind her on to the couch. He kissed her softly and repeatedly, breaking with each one, trying to slow things down a little.
He lifted the white t-shirt that belonged to him right over her head and tossed it aside. He revealed a white, strappy, little piece of fabric that he justknewshe had intended for him to see… "What is this?" he couldn't help but to ask as his eyes swept over her with delight.
Her cheeks grew rosey and she ignored his question. She kissed him again, trying to shut him up but he pulled back and surveyed the bralette that he wasn't sure how onearthshe managed to put it on without getting tangled. The soft white lace that covered the ample curve of her breast was thin and completely see-through. Trevor could identify the hard peaks of her nipples, showing a hint of pink protruding through the fabric. The bra had way too many straps and strips of elastic that some how sat so perfectly both below her chest and above her breasts.
"This is really sexy, Olivia," he remarked, slipping his pointer fingers beneath the straps, following it down from her upper arms to where the fabric began.
"I put it on for you…" she admitted in a soft, vulnerable voice.
He felt his breath catch in his throat. "And believe me," he smiled, his eyes all over her, "I amverythankful. You lookincredible."
"Thank you…" she said in a whisper, taken by how soft he became in more intimate moments between them. She hadn't ever known a man to be anything but business when it came to stripping down. Her experiences hadn't been of a man paying attention to her; taking time to truly notice her, not the way Trevor card about her.
And maybe that's what had been missing.
She felt less afraid of being honest and vulnerable with him.
He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her softly, letting his tongue massage against hers.
Surprisingly, she felt him gripping her, his hold slipping beneath her arms. She was confused for a moment with what he was doing but felt herself suspended in air. He lifted her from the couch with ease. She let out a squeal which she immediately regretted - she sounded girlish and stupid, she thought but Trevor laughed against her mouth.
Olivia wrapped her legs around his hips and felt him supporting her weight with an arm under her backside as he kissed her, stationary in the middle of her living room behind the couch. She was impressed by his strength, by the ease of which he held her body against him.
He loved how she gripped him, how her legs gripped him; she wanted him as much as he wanted her. He made his way to the living room floor and broke their kiss. "Will the floor be okay? Or do you prefer the bed?" he wondered.
"Floor… let's go crazy," she joked.
Trevor laughed and circled the couch with her in his arms. He was surprised by how girlish she had suddenly become; giggly, sweet and the squeal— a sound of delight, shock and welcome all in one.
"Don't drop me," she giggled as he slowly leaned over, a little awkward but managed to hold on to her so she didn't hit the ground.
"As if I would drop you," he rolled his eyes as her back made contact with the rug. He reached over to the couch and grabbed a cushion. He slid his hand beneath her head, lifting it slightly to slot it in place so she didn't get sore on the hard surface.
She smiled up at him as he covered her body with a look of adoration that he hadn't really seen in her eyes before; he could feel her beginning to relinquish control, to allow herself the indulgence of falling for him without personal misgivings or reluctance.
It made all the tension dissipate from his own chest. "Comfortable?" he asked sweetly, raking his fingers through her long hair.
She nodded, her eyes holding his gaze, enjoying the soft intimacy between them. She couldn't remember a time where she felt as free and as light. She had always viewed sex as being some kind of currency between herself and the person she was with, that it was something shehadto do to keep a person, or something she had to offer to stop the other person from digging too deep…
That wasn't to say that it was always negative; she enjoyed sex and even more so when she could blank her mind, but it didn't happen often enough.
With Trevor the sex had been different - he already knew he demons, she wasn't trying to shut him up, he genuinely meant it when he said that he wasn't looking for anything in return — that he just wanted her to beherself.
If she could figure out who that person was, she knew they would both be happier.
"Trevor wait-" she pressed her palm flat against his chest as he was about to kiss her.
He pulled back, alarmed, wondering if he had read things wrong. He stared at her expectantly. "Sorry-"
"No-" she shook her head. She hesitated for a moment, not wanting to sound needy, but she definitelyneededto hear him expresssomethingto her, she wasn't even sure what to say.
"Liv?" he questioned her, his expression was quizzical, trying to figure out if he should get up and help her to her feet. "What's wrong?"
"I-" she started, "I don't know I just…" she exhaled very, very slowly.
"Do you wanna get up from here and talk?" he asked, trying to slow his own heart rate.
"No, I just want you to-" she lowered her eyes, feeling a little embarrassed.
"It's okay," he told her, "tell me…" he wondered if she needed some emotional support or if she was going to request something sexual of him. He was prepared for anything when it came to Olivia.
"just tell me something," she paused and felt so stupid, "I'm sorry," she laughed sardonically inspite of herself. "I'm an idiot."
"Tell you something…" a small smile spread over his lips and he realised that she had absolutelynoidea how to be vulnerable when it came to heartfelt communications. Everything was always light-hearted, a joke, an admission of something that was quickly met with a cutting comment for him to not take it seriously.
What Oliviatrulywanted was comfort and assurance and for him to cement his drunken feelings from the night before and in the early hours of the morning with something with a new layer of security.
"Don't worry about it, just… kiss me," she commanded, lifting her head, trying not to ruin the moment with her burning shame.
"No, I won't," he smiled at her and eased himself up a little tiny bit. He surveyed her beautiful curves held together by the sexiest bit of lingerie he'd seen. He ran his hands over her shoulders and down her arms and back up again. "Iwantto tell you something for a minute…"
She couldn't help but to smile.
He let his hands travel down to her hips until she raised her legs, her thighs on either side of his. He snaked his hands back to her shoulders. "I consider myself an incredibly lucky man to be here with you and I know you have all these reservations in your heart that is stopping you from just letting yourselfbe, but I don't care about that because I know with time you'll grow more comfortable and you won't want to hide the more vulnerable parts of yourself. You'll trust me to let that wall come down…"
Olivia felt the stinging of tears that she fought so hard to blink back. She couldn't help but to grin at him, the feelings inside of her stomach for him made her feel like she could explode with butterflies.
"But for now, sweetheart, I am happy to just hang out with you, to tell you how much I like you and I want to make you realise that you're heart is every bit as beautiful as the rest of you…"
"Okay, okay… stop," she covered her face with her hand, embarrassed, "please…"
He chuckled. "Really," he added, pulling her hand from her face, "I mean it…" This time when she lifted her head to kiss him, he indulged her, leaning over again until their lips met.
She felt his hands cradling her face. He pulled away briefly before recapturing it again, repeating his action over and over until she was became frustrated with his teasing. Her hands found their way to his hips that were covered with thick folds of denim that she couldn't wait to get off of him.
He kissed his way down her neck, spending some time with his mouth on her skin, working on the same spot until she started to ache for him, trying not to moan out loud. She fumbled around looking for his fly.
Once she unzipped him she pushed his jeans down over his backside and felt him wriggling them off. She helped him with her feet as best as she could until they both breathlessly laughed.
He buried his face in to her shoulder until his pants were off.
Olivia loved the feel of his skin beneath her hands. She searched his body, his hips down to his backside and back up under his arms until her hands settled over his strong, defined biceps. She squeezed them as he kissed her hungrily.
His lower half crushed against hers and she felt the sensation of his erection over the top of her gym pants, involuntarily circling against her and causing a moan to escape her lips. Her hands found their way down his back and under his shirt, lifting it over his head until he reached behind him and pulled it all the way over his head, tossing it aside, barely breaking his urgent kiss.
She slipped her fingers beneath the waistband of his jocks, letting the tips of her fingers circle his lower stomach. She could feel him sucking it in but slightly raising himself in case she wanted to touch him where he was starting to ache and feel restricted. His hand brushed over her breast again, his thumb swiping across her nipple. She whimpered at the jolt of sensation that ignited within her. She was so sensitive to his touch and she couldn't wait to be entirely naked. with him.
He pressed his finger over her again, rubbing her until the peaks of her nipples hardened beneath his touch. His kisses traveled down beneath her neck, taking a breast in his mouth over the top of the fabric, working his hot tongue in the place where his fingers were concentrating the most on. His hands slipped beneath her back until he found the clasp of her bra and he undid it and slowly pulled it off of her. Once off, he kneeled and held it up in front of him as she watched him curiously. "What the hellisthis sorcery?" he joked before tossing it aside in a pile next to their shirt.
"I don't really think now is the time to worry about that," she chuckled. He loved to see how comfortable she was with her own body, staring up at him without any insecurities that seemed to be just resting below surface. He took her breasts in both of his hands and enjoyed their softness as he leaned in to kiss her mouth and went back to giving them he attention that he believed they so richly deserved.
Olivia ran her fingers through his hair, her nails in his scalp that made goosebumps surface upon his skin. He reached down and pulled her gym pants and underwear off together, breaking his touch to concentrate on what he was doing.
"Get rid of yours while you're there," she commanded.
He didn't have to be told twice.
He kissed her softly, biting on her lower lip as he surprised her, letting his fingers brush between her legs. He could feel her heat, how aroused she was. Taking a deep breath in, willing him inside of her, Trevor teased her, running a finger along her opening. Olivia moaned in frustration and pleasure mixed together.
He surveyed her; her eyes were clamped shut tightly and a look of relaxation had overtaken her sometimes tense expression. He moved just inside of her teasingly. "Wow, you're ready to go…" he teased.
"Please touch me," she begged him, "please…"
"You want to feel me inside of you?"
She nodded, making eye contact, "I want you," she told him, "I loved the way you touched me yesterday…"
He smiled faintly and if he wasn't so hard, he would have been able to think about how sweet she looked and how much he appreciated her openness.
Without anymore question, he slid his fingers inside of her and moved them in and out exploring her, enjoying her warmth and wetness and the way she moaned softly from the very back of her throat, her hips involuntarily bucking beneath him, quivering around as he moved deeper each time, every now and then brushing his thumb along her clitoris.
Olivia felt every nerve ending tingle as his fingers moved slowly and she felt a jolt of electricity move through her entire body when he plunged in to her fast. She opened her eyes to watch him; he was gazing at her, his eyes all over her as he paid attention to her reactions. He smiled at her, "is that good?" he wondered.
She managed a smile of pure joy and nodded as she let her eyes close again, "Let's never go back to work, let's just do this all day long every day," she joked.
Trevor laughed, "you want me to sit here with my fingers massaging you just like this forever?"
"Yeah…" she grinned, whimpering as his thumb began to circle the delicate spot around her clitoris. She reminded herself to breath slowly and deeply. "Don't worry, I'll return the favour," she added as an afterthought. They both shared laughter and he loved that comfortable ease between them.
He moved in and out of her faster until she wasn't able to concentrate anymore. He felt her hand grip his wrist, "Stop—" she stammered, "stop, I'm gonna come and I just-"
"You can come," he told her, "it's okay."
"No," she replied, "No, I want you to be inside of me," she told him.
"Okay," he replied simply. He kissed his way down her belly until he reached her opening and planted a soft kiss.
"What are you doing?!" she asked breathing out a frustrated sigh.
"A snack on my snack," he joked, letting his tongue flick against her clitoris while his mouth covered her, licking and tasting her.
Olivia couldn't fight it, her head became woozy and just when she thought she was about to come, he pulled away and kissed his way between her thighs and back up to her tummy again.
He remembered that she wasn't comfortable having sex in a traditional position.
"How do you want to do it?" he asked her, "what position works for you…"
Olivia thought for a second. "Can we do it how we did last time?" she asked, "that was nice."
"Of course," he replied, kissing her temple as he reached behind her to grab another cushion.
"Roll over," he commanded her so that he could pull her against his body and slip in to her.
"No, wait…" she moved closer, their bodies facing one another, she reached for his erection and began to stroke him gently, gripping her hand around the base of his penis as her other hand paid attention to the rest of him. It was her turn to enjoy the pleasure on his face. His jaw clenched closed and he let out a gruff sigh. She ran her hand along his shaft back and forth, using her thumb to stroke his head which caused a deep groan each time she did it.
She loved to see the pleasure on his face — his hands reached out for her; cupping a breast while he walked the line of almost needing to ejaculate. "Sweetheart, I think you better roll over," he told her with urgency, "I'm close…"
She didn't have to be told. She rolled over with his help and felt him reach down to her thigh, linking his arm beneath it to raise her leg to allow him the room to slide his hard length inside her. Olivia gasped as she felt him deeply within her walls.
"Okay?" he asked between pants, rocking in short thrusts at first to make sure she was genuinely comfortable.
"Y-yeah," she stammered. He wrapped his arm around her front and kissed her shoulder blade and pushed her hair out of the way so that he could put his mouth on her neck.
"I love you-" she blurted out. It was as much of a surprise to her as it was to him. "I-I'm sorry," she said quickly, put off by what she said.
"It's okay," he replied, "it's okay Liv, I love you too," he said quickly and eagerly, "we said it last night, we can say it now, its alright." it was hard to concentrate on soothing her while trying to thrust inside of her as well.
He reached over her chest, holding on to her opposite shoulder that rested beneath the cushion and secured her against his body as he plunged inside of her as deeply as he could so that she didn't have the urge to run away from him because she had put her vulnerability on display.
"Its okay," he whispered again against her ear. "Relax, enjoy this… close your eyes and let it go."
He felt her breathe in deeply and let it out slow. He kissed her right behind her ear. He moved in and out of her picking up speed as soon as he heard her begin to make noises of pleasure again. He slowly loosened his grip and reached down between her legs to stroke her.
"That feels so fucking good," Olivia admitted as he hit deeply within her over and over again. He liked that she was vocal, she made enough noise for him to know she was enjoying herself and he already knew that over time and with more ease with him, she would probably enjoy him a lot more loudly and he couldn't fucking wait for that.
He could feel himself building up to an orgasm— his legs started to twitch, the urgency became too hard to ignore and with a few more thrusts his body tensed and he ejaculated — he felt bad, he knew she hadn't come yet. He was breathless and his legs jittered involuntarily beneath him.
"I'm sorry," he murmured.
"For what?" she asked, rolling over to her back, looking up at him.
"You didn't come…"
"Yes I did," she smiled but he knew she was lying to make him feel better.
"Shut up, don't lie to me," he grinned, kissing her on the mouth as he began to calm down.
She chuckled. He raised himself up and kissed her chest and moved down her belly.
"Trev, its okay," she told him, feeling him push her legs open.
"Olivia, if I want you to come, you're going to come, so close that pretty little mouth of yours and enjoy yourself."
He found his way between her legs and covered her clitoris with his mouth and began to work on it with his tongue. he slipped his fingers inside of her completely ignoring the fact that he had just ejaculated which impressed Olivia— that he wasn't immature enough to be grossed out like men in the past had been - the kind that wouldn't kiss her after she'd given them a blow job.
Her back arched in to him as he flicked his against her causing her pleasure to intensify as he rolled his tongue around and around until an overwhelming feeling took over the pit of her stomach, washing over the place that he was paying the most attention to. Trevor felt delighted to hear her moan his name while she whimpered and writhed beneath him. He could feel her tensing and her body jolting beneath him. He held her thighs still, kissing her and moving in and out of her slowly still until he could feel her calming and her body becoming more sensitive.
He let his fingers run along her as he kissed his way up between her breasts, finding her mouth again.
"I loveyou," he whispered between a series of lingering kisses.
Olivia circled her arms around his neck and gazed in to his eyes. "Thanks for not freaking out," she murmured.
He shook his head as he stared back at her. "Why would I freak out? It's the loveliest admission I could have imagined hearing," he replied. He kissed both of her cheeks and the tip of her nose. "You don't haveanyidea of how sweet you are, do you?" he wondered.
She chuckled, "Stop it, you're making me feel embarrassed."
He rolled off of her, taking her with him so that they embraced side by side. "I don't want to embarrass you, I want you to know that you're special and I love you as my friend and I love you as more and when you're ready for a label, I'll be ready for that too."
Olivia appreciated his patience and his kindness and most of all, his honesty. "You don't love me romantically, though…"
"Olivia, remember we talked about being demi-sexuals. You introduced me to that expression, that you had to have sex with someone you're emotionally connected with — I hope you do feel like that, because I do and I don't randomly make out with women that I don't feel a romantic connection with."
She nodded.
He reached up and pushed her hair from her face, focusing on the strands that were stuck to her damp neck after sex. "Do you feel okay?" he asked, "do you feel content? happy?" he always wanted her to be honest and he needed to know if having sex with her sometimes confused the way she felt about things in general
"Are you asking if I regret having sex with you?" she wondered, figuring where he was headed with it.
"Yeah, but not even regretful, I just want you to be satisfied and content."
"I amverysatisfied and this is nice, just laying here with you…" she replied letting a weary smile cross her pink, plump lips that were slightly swollen from all the kissing.
Olivia snaked her arm around his waist, drawing Trevor close to her. She felt his fingertips grazing over the skin on her bare back. It tickled but made her feel warm. She lifted her head and rested in to the crook of his arm. He smiled at her, enjoying the ease between them.
"Itisnice," he agreed, "really,reallynice."
"We should probably go back to your place though, right?" she asked him, turning her head slightly to kiss his bicep.
"We can hang out a little longer," he shrugged, "I'm sure Christian is feeling so disgusting that he won't even care."
They both laughed— they had heard him vomiting loudly when the left, bringing up everything he'd eaten for lunch. "Poor guy, he has so much to learn about hangovers, he's clearly still a rookie."
Hey…" he began, as if he had a sudden thought. "Next weekend are you off?" he wanted to know.
"I've got an early shift on Saturday but I'll be done at 2, why?" she asked him.
"Can I take you out on arealdate?" he asked, "Like… something special? Saturday night?"
Olivia grinned at him, "Really?"
"Yeah!" he exclaimed, suddenly excited by the idea, "and let me tell you, Liv, I can put together a fantastic date. You won't be sorry."
She seemed delighted by the idea, "yeah I'dlovethat. What are we gonna do?"
"It'll be a surprise, but it'll be epic and it'll involve doing some sightseeing that you said you haven't done because you haven't got anyone to see New York with." He was thinking about it, "and it'll be relaxing too,"
"Like,thiskind of relaxing?" she asked with a cheeky smile.
Trevor chuckled, "play your cards right, Dr. Benson and I might even invite you back to my apartment for a nightcap."
He could tell that the idea of an actual date really excited her. "When was the last time someone took you on agreatdate?" he asked.
She thought about it for longer than he expected that she'd have to. She racked her brain but came up empty. "Honestly?" she chuckled at the realization, "I don't think anyone hasevertaken me on agreatdate. Or anything other than a drink at a bar or dinner at a medium scale restaurant."
"Shit,seriously?" he rose an eyebrow, "well, you are going to be in for the best date ever — mostly cos apparently I only have to put in mild effort," he joked.
Olivia shoved him playfully and they both laughed.
"No but really, I'm surprised. The last person youreallyliked before Charlotte came along, what was that first date like?" he wanted to know.
Olivia thought about it and shrugged, "I dunno, it was a doctor from another department. I liked him way more than he liked me and when he finally took me on a date we went to a bar and I let him take me home and he was too drunk to get too much done and it was awful and he never really spoke to me again. I was … really eager to have a second date, but I put out so I guess he didn't want much else."
"I find that crazy," he remarked, "tragic, even… and what a pig. I'm sorry people have been giant disappointments when it comes to sex and romance," he added. "Really, you are worth more than that treatment."
"I'll take your word for it," she gave him a faint smile that alerted him to the fact that she didn't really believe it, but he knew he could only do more to make her feel like she was at least worth everything to him.
"I will show you your worth on the most impressive date you'll ever go on," he winked, "it might even be super cheesy."
"Great, I love cheesy. Will you bring a corsage?" she giggled.
He grinned at her cheek. "Only if you want me to."
She smiled and sighed contentedly. She leaned in close and closed her eyes to kiss him slowly and lingeringly, thankful for his company, his love and his thoughtfulness that never seemed to fall by the wayside regardless of how annoying she was being.
"We should maybe… have a shower," she suggested. "What do you think?"
"Yeah… maybe that's a good idea," he agreed, sitting up. She went to sit up too. He kissed her again; planting one on her cheek before nudging her slightly with her nose so that his mouth could meet hers. He tasted her tongue and let their mouths rest together for just a soft moment so that they could both relish the chemistry between them.
Trevor got up first and grabbed her hand, pulling her to her feet.
She led him in to her bedroom and through to the bathroom thanking heavens that she had cleaned it only a couple days earlier of all of the empty product bottles at the bottom of the shower and all of the used make up wipes and bits and pieces of rubbish all over.
"It smells nice in here, just like you…" he remarked, looking around at her perfectly organised bathroom space. She just smiled to herself, opening the shower screen and turning the water on.
"Can you try really hard not to get my hair wet please?" she asked him, "it takes me too long to dry it."
"I'll do my best," he agreed as she motioned for him to step in first.
She stepped in after him and watched him help himself to her honey and milk body wash sat above the tiny soap corridor built in to the shower recess. He rubbed it over himself and stepped out of the spray and allowed her to take the shower head from it's host and rinse herself. He lathered himself up and waited patiently until they could swap again.
Trevor rinsed himself off and pumped more body wash in to his hand. "Turn around?" he commanded her.
She half-smiled, "what?"
"Turn around," he repeated, rolling his eyes with a little smile, "let me be a little romantic," his smile grew in to a grin.
Olivia grinned back at him and it made his knees just a little weak. He knew she had his heart and she had the capacity to break it, but soon enough she would realise just how much she meant to him. She did as she was told and felt his soapy hands lathering the skin of her shoulders, kneading his thumbs in to her shoulder blades as she relaxed beneath his touch.
She yawned, her hangover seemed almost entirely forgotten as his hands slid around to her breasts, covering her and soaping her up until her entire body was slippery. She couldn't help all the goosebumps all over her chest as he turned her around to face him. He lifted the shower spray and rinsed her off, avoiding her hair for her.
"I love your skin…" he murmured, "it's so soft…"
"Now you know my secret, milk and honey wash," she winked at him. He pushed her against the cold tiles and grinned at her, leaning over her and kissing her lips. "I love you…" he said softly.
"Me too," she told him with hesitation. He stared in to her eyes and waited for her, giving her a moment. She avoided his eyes for a moment before finally making contact. "I love you too."
He lifted her up and pressed her against the tiles, grabbing her thighs and pulling it around his waist. Olivia shrieked with surprise causing Trevor to erupt with laughter. "What do you think you're doing?" she asked between her own chuckles. "The tiles are freezing!"
"Don't worry, I'll keep you warm," he promised, "even if I get water on your precious, beautiful hair…"
"Don't you dare, I will never speak to you again…"
"Really?" he rose an eyebrow, "do youreallymean that?" he smiled
"Please don't…" she smiled back, "you don't want to see my hair when it's wet, it's not cute."
"Bullshit," he kissed her, "I would love to see this beautiful hair slicked back off of your face, you're very hot, Dr. Benson…"
Her cheeks got a little rosey. "If you wet this hair, you'll have to deal with it," she replied; her arms wrapped around his neck and her legs wrapped around his hips - his grip on her secure and strong. She felt a complete suspension of her worries and insecurities. It was a good feeling, one of freedom and allowing herself to just enjoy the moment.
He grinned at her as he took a step back, ducking slightly to let the shower spray over his head, dragging Olivia with him. "Trevor!" she exclaimed but his laughter was infectious and his joy contagious; she didn't really care anymore.
She closed her eyes and sputtered as the water beat down over her face, cascading down her shoulders and over her dry hair causing it to flatten against her cheeks and stick to her neck and back. Once he could see her hair was soaked, he pressed her back in to the wall and smoothed her hair out of her face. She had a little make up from the night before smudged beneath her eyes.
He smiled, "You still look beautiful…" he remarked as if to just prove a point. He wiped the smudge of mascara or whatever it was with his thumb.
"Shit, do I look like a raccoon?" she asked with a self-aware laugh, wiping beneath her own eyes.
"No," he shook his head. "You look great…"
"Well, now I have to wash my hair or else it'll turn to straw if I don't condition it at the least," she sighed, "but I aim to please," she replied with a little laugh.
Trevor set her down and took a step out of the way so that she could get to the shampoo. "Are you just gonna stand there and stare at me?" she wondered, turning around, finding a little insecurity within her coming to the surface.
"Maybe," he shrugged, smiling to himself as came face-to-face with her back. He couldn't help but to let his eyes wander down her frame to her curvy backside. She was definitely a sight. She had a traditional hourglass look to her that he couldn't help but to admire as she generously lathered shampoo in her hair, pushing the shower spray away from her. "Maybe I'll do this for you," he added. He slipped his fingers through her wet hair and began to massage the strawberry flavoured shampoo that he often smelled on her.
Olivia dropped her hands and leaned a little further back in to him as he worked the lather through from the scalp down to the ends of her hair. "Mmmm look at me, I could get used to this…" she sighed contentedly and lifted her arm to show him all the tiny raised hairs that he had caused with his sensual touch.
"Maybe youcanget used to it," he replied, "I could play with your hair all day…" he murmured.
"Everyone likes to do that kind of stuff in the beginning, but it goes away," she replied matter-of-factly. She turned around and moved the shower head so that she could rinse her hair out.
"I'm a tactile person, Dr. Benson and a total romantic, as long as I love someone, I don't get bored of that little stuff."
She smiled at the thought, "well, you must be a unicorn," she replied as she closed her eyes and stepped beneath the spray and began rinsing the lather out of her hair. Trevor stared as her head tilted to the sky and the water gushed down her face, down her chest, droplets disappearing in to the valley between her breasts finding their way down south over the rest of her.
He felt himself becoming aroused so he turned away, not wanting to bethatguy.
/
After their shower, Trevor collected their clothes for them and they dressed and headed past a little place Trevor knew of that he could buy his favourite soft cheeses and cured meat. Olivia couldn't wait to snack with him. She insisted they go past the supermarket so she could repurchase all of the chips she had eaten with Christian the night before.
By the time they got back to his apartment it was after 6 in the evening.
Christian was asleep on the couch but awoke to their arrival. "Hmmm I couldn't find the Tylenol," he groaned at Trevor.
"Hello to you too," Trevor smiled over him. "We just went to the supermarket and we bought some gatorade…" Olivia reached in to the shopping bag and handed him a large bottle. "Here you go, drink up, doctors orders."
"Why areyounot as sick as me?" he muttered resentfully at Olivia.
Olivia chuckled as she watched Trevor move in to the kitchen and put the shopping up. "Because, my friend, I am a seasoned professional when it comes to being a functioning alcoholic, so you'll just have to stop being such a rookie," she teased.
"Ugh," Christian muttered. He was looking a little green, Olivia observed.
"But seriously," she sat down beside him, "I think you're still really dehydrated," she remarked, looking in to his eyes, observing him, looking for the tell-tale signs. "Have you vomited much?"
"All day," he groaned, "now it's just bile."
"Okay, I'll get you a straw and you can sip that bottle. Did you eat anything?"
"Not since I threw up lunch, I don't think I'll ever have Burger King again," he sighed dramatically and fell against the back of the couch, "I amneverdrinking whisky again either."
Trevor observed his cousin and Olivia's exchange. He loved to watch her fussing over him, putting her doctor hat on so that she could make sure that he was recovering okay.
"Good idea, don't ever touch my expensive whisky again," Trevor called out as Olivia came in to the kitchen, requesting a straw.
"I'm a bit worried, Trev, he looksreallydehydrated."
"He'll be okay, I promise. He will probably feel a world better once he gets some electrolytes back," he replied, passing her a straw from where he had found hers from earlier.
Olivia took it back to Christian and insisted that he drink a little before she went to help Trevor with the groceries. "I'm alcohol free tonight…" she gave him a little smile, helping herself to one of the bottles of Gatorade they'd bought.
"I think that would be wise, you don't need to drink every day, sweetheart, it's probably not good for you."
She stood and watched him badly cutting up cheese. She gently reached over and grabbed the knife. "Let me do it, for someone who has worked in surgery, you're a bit of a butcher…" he smiled and let her step in front of him. He watched her expertly cut the food bits up and arrange them on a plate. He wrapped his arms around her front and kissed her cheek.
"Careful, I have a knife in my hand," she giggled, turning to absolute mush as he buried his face in her neck and laughed. His mouth tickled her so she shrugged him away.
"Sorry," he apologised, "it's just getting really hard to keep my hands off of you…"
She put the knife down and turned to face him. She loved his embrace, she loved that he towered over her and made her feel safe and protected — the very idea that he could hoist her on to the counter and do whatever she wanted him to do to her.
Olivia put the thoughts to bed for a moment and allowed him to kiss her slowly and lingeringly, letting his tongue taste hers. "Same here…" she mumbled.
He lifted his hands from her, "alright, I'll lay off a bit…" he went to the other side of the island in the middle of the small kitchen where she was cutting the cheese and the meat up. He arranged some crackers. "I have to make sure we are all professional at work."
"Yeah, please, I really don't want anyone to know," she paused, "and that's not because I am ashamed of you or anythin-"
"No, it's fine, I think it's a good idea to keep things to ourselves and keep things professional, Liv, it's the right thing to do."
She smiled. "Thanks…"
"But… let's go back to that thing about the drinking…"
She smiled faintly but he could see the tension immediately fill her face. "I'm going to just say this once because I truly care about you, but I don't want to embarrass you or make you feel like I'm trying to boss you around-"
"I drink too much, I know, you don't have to say it."
"Well, I wasn't going to saythat, I know you already know that… but what I wanted to say, Liv, is that if you need me to go dry with you anytime, even if its one night of the week, I will… I don't evenknowif it's a problem for you, going a night without something, if it's not an issue than great, but I am not saying this withanyjudgement, I'm just saying-"
He spoke fast like he thought she might get angry with him and ordinarily, she probably would have, but they had a bond between them and she did feel that she could trust him. She hoped she wouldn't be wrong about that.
"Well, thank you…" she said softly. She turned her back to the kitchen sink and went to wash her hands. Trevor stood a little dumbly wondering if she'd say anything else, or if she was upset with him.
She finished arranging the cheese on the plate. "Liv?" he pressed, "are you mad?"
She shook her head and finally looked up at him. "I'm just… processing and I suppose I'm a little humbled that you've called me out."
"I didn't mean to call you out, that's not what this is…" he went to move around the island counter to put his arms around her but she held up her hand to halt him.
"I actually think that sometimes I could use a little support if I'm honest. I've been thinking a lot about the cardiology thing, and I can't drink like this if I'm doing surgeries."
He was floored by the honesty that he never expected to hear so easily slip from her mouth.
"Okay, we don't have to go in to detail about it right now, but I will always support you, I'll go totally dry with you or be the person you call if you want to drink."
"Okay," she agreed, "thank you… but right now I want to eat."