I'm an artist, and I can make my own book covers. Don't ask me for art commissions. I don't want any. If you ask again, I'll feed you to a T-Rex.

[0000]

I awoke at dusk, in the smoldering remains of the poachers' campsite. The scents of burnt wood, roasted flesh and canvas, lingered in the evening air, trash still lay scattered about, but now the soda cans had become blackened, the plastic wrappers melted.

Jungle birds chirped in the treetops, monkeys gibbered, flies, mosquitoes and other insects adding their annoying hums. A poacher guy's knife went snick-scritch as he whittled a stick. His Walkman faintly carried the smooth sounds of Coffee in Bed by Squeeze. The blackened animal mascot head on the ground would have looked good in a horror movie.

Big, thick mustached Sergio had his brawny arm wrapped around me, as if merely hugging the family dog on the living room couch. The rope clenched in one meaty hand (hooked to my collar) kinda reinforced the dog motif.

Honestly, if anyone could drag a dinosaur around by its neck, it would be this guy.

His buddy Escalito stood behind him, smoking a cigarette.

Zelda had been tied to a tree, but Webby got to run free, probably for the same reasons you chain up a Doberman but let the Chihuahua up on the bed with you. Cynthia had Buttface on a rope leash, but the look her pet' gave her said We've been on that rodeo before. I'm only here because I like you.'

Groaning, I frowned at the bushy mustached face. "Hey, who died and said you could use me as your personal hound dog?"

He gave me a dumb look. "¿Como?"

"Dude, I know you speak English. Let me make it clear for you: No soy su perro, señor. I should bite you in the leg."

Serge scoffed. "Please, dinosaurito. You tried to shoot me with una clown flag. No lastimarías una mosca."

The guilty look on Cynthia's face indicated that maybe she'd instigated this whole leash law' thing. Not much I could do but scowl at her at this point.

"Speaking of shooting, how are you still alive? You got shot in the butt with dinosaur tranquilizer and run over by a Triceratops!"

"Soy una persona muy dificil de matar."

"Entiendo. Anyway, like I said, I'm not a dog, so if you wouldn't mind taking this stupid rope off me—"

Sergio ran a hand up my neck, massaged me on the noggin.

I closed my eyes...and kinda enjoyed the attention. "Well, I guess that's not the most terrible thing you can do to a dinosaur..."

He chuckled and petted me some more. Escalito joked about me being a new pet.'

"This is so humiliating."

Cassie occupied herself playing with Webby, and when not doing that, playing with the dirt, moving little rocks around and whatnot. She found a penny doing this once, though I'm not sure how the hell it came to be there.

You know, not all great family memories center around things you engineer, like Thanksgiving or Christmas parties. Sometimes they happen when you're sitting with a loved one in a hospital or...(ahem) in a camp full of unpleasant ruffians who want to break up your family and send everybody to a crummy zoo:

Enjoying perhaps our last time outdoors in nature, the cool, comfortable weather...

My dear wife smiling at me, like she'd give me an affectionate nuzzle, if she hadn't been tied to a tree...

My ferocious little Parasaurolophus daughter giving me playful pounces and nips, attempting to gnaw my leash off until my captor pushed her away...

Cassie hugging Zelda and talking to her...I think the humans didn't see how blessed they were.

Ian sat with his arm around Kelly, looking defeated.

Sarah, with her fists clenched, faced down the accountant guy in the still new, but singed and soot dusted safari clothes.

The man folded his arms behind his back. "Things aren't looking good for you, Ms. Harding. As soon as we hit the mainland, you'll be facing charges of trespassing and sabotage. You could be in prison for a long time!"

"Ludlow, you can't own an island! This isn't your property, and neither are these animals!"

Ludlow said something, and the two bickered some more.

Ian pointed to the eyeglass wearing hippie in cowboy duds. "Wait, Doctor Burke? What are you doing here? There's no TV cameras!"

"I could ask you the same question. Book deals going south?"

That sounded...semi fascinating, but Nick and a hunter in rumpled clothing got into a shouting match right in front of me.

Weird looking guy. Slack jaw, receding hairline. Would be perfect casting for the role of Lee Harvey Oswald in some JFK movie...well, with a few bruises and second degree burns. Probably had the same temperament: "You tree huggers are all the same! You only show up when people are making money!"

"Yeah? If we had it your way, we'd be living in a big polluted garbage dump with a bunch of dead animals and unbreathable air!"

"Okay, Captain Planet! Answer me this: Where'd you get the money to pay for that trailer?"

"You looking for a problem?" Nick clenched his fists. "I got two of them right here for you!"

Water rippled in a puddle created by a dinosaur foot. Ian raised a warning hand, shushing them. "Everyone! Keep your voices down!"

Tax Man nodded to Mr. Oswald. "Back off, Dieter."

I snickered. "Your name is Dieter? Like that guy on Saturday Night Live?"

That earned me a blank look. "What guy?"

I rubbed my face. "Never mind."

Sarah muttered to herself, then smacked herself in the face. "Shit! Shit shit shit shit shit!"

"Not here. It stinks and draws flies."

Ludlow ignored me. He seemed both annoyed and frightened. "What is it now?"

"Well, thanks to your animal cruelty, we had to move the baby rex into our camp. It expanded the adults' whole territory! That's why they attacked the trailers! We're not safe here!"

Ludlow swore profusely. "Thanks a lot, Sarah."

Cynthia shuddered. "Oh good Lord."

"You're blaming me? Who broke the poor thing's legs?" We only came here to observe. Record our findings. You came here to strip mine. You're looters. All you care about is what you can take."

Kojak Guy didn't disagree. "That's irrelevant at this point." He sighed. "You destroyed our communications equipment. If your radios and Satphones were in that trailer that went off the cliff, which, I'm guessing by the look on his face..." He pointed to Ian, who answered with a reluctant nod. "We're all stranded here together."

Cassie muttered something to Cynthia, but the woman shook her head violently.

The man narrowed his eyes. "Something you wish to share with the class?"

"Uhh, I was just telling her how I left my Satphone in the trailer, that's all."

Ludlow crossed his arms, looking skeptical. "Actually, how did you arrive on this island with your dinosaurs? It wouldn't make sense for your team to bring them to the island...A touch too convenient."

Everyone stared at her expectantly.

"We...took a boat...which sank." The facial expression, the sweating, the body language, it told me volumes on how to gauge her honesty. "Dinosaur related incident."

Everyone regarded her with suspicion. I thought for certain Ludlow or his associates would call her out on it.

Instead...

Ludlow groaned. "It would have been nice to have that boat right now."

Cynthia looked way too relieved. "I know, right?"

Obviously, we couldn't sit around there any longer, so Kojak Guy (Roland) had all the poachers bag up their supplies, Cynthia taking my leash' due to Sergio being tasked with the brunt of heavy lifting.

Night fell by the time they had everything together: Tents, sleeping bags, six big containers of water, hickory smoked' toilet paper, thirty eight bags and tins of food, Sharpies (guess you never know when you need to write your name on a...tree?) weapons (only the poachers got them), a big Rambo knife (I wasn't allowed to have it, despite protests that I only wanted to whittle a replica of the wooden knife Stallone carved in the movie. "A Velociraptor with a wooden replica knife doesn't sound very safe to me. I shouldn't have let you watch that movie. You were much better off with the animated series"), broken (or semi-broken) electronic equipment (Note: They did have an oscilloscope but it had been manufactured in 1970 and it weighed a ton, plus they had nothing to measure with it, so there it remains to this day), flare guns, flares, a copy of Old Farmer's Almanac and Hitchhiker's Guide, peanut M 's, and a carton of Pall Malls.

Escalito searched the place for beer, but couldn't find any undamaged cans or bottles. "Qué lastima!"

Once they had all this junk gathered, Roland announced, "That's it, we've got to move. The longer we stay in T-Rex territory, the more of a chance we'll be facing one down, unprepared."

"Move?" Sarah had been sitting on a log at the time. She didn't bother getting up. "Move where? Our boat won't be here for two days, and you can't call for an airlift..."

Cynthia squirmed on the rock she'd been sitting on. At first I thought it a case of indigestion. "Uh, guys...I may have fibbed a little about how I got on this island...There's actually an underground tunnel leading to the original Jurassic Park..."

"And how far is that?"

"Ummm..."

Ludlow scoffed, bringing out a map. "I know of a closer location right here on the island. Less than a day's walk." He shined a flashlight on the map. "It's an old worker village. Hammond put in an experimental renewable energy system there. It might still work. They have radios. We could call an airlift. Unfortunately, it's also Velociraptor territory. We've found nesting sites with our infrared cameras." He glanced at me and my wife. "It's handy you keep a couple as pets."

I swallowed. "V-Velociraptor nests? You mean there's more of us?"

Cynthia blinked at me like a frog in a hailstorm. "Seriously, Albert? You're scared? That's like this guy telling us There's people on the other side of this island!'"

"Y-yeah, but what kind of people?"

She rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "Shit, that's a good point."

Ian muttered to Kelly about this.

"So...more things like them?" Dieter readied his gun. "We can handle them."

"Did you say that before you shot JFK?"

The man gave me a look like he may have actually done that. "It's cool that this thing talks, but is something wrong with its brain?"

I rolled my eyes. "My brain is fine. You just look like Lee Harvey Oswald with a bad sunburn."

"It cracks jokes."

"To be honest..." Ian appeared to be suppressing mirth. "Mister Oswald, if you think you can handle these things, you should go back to the Grassy Knoll. You're clearly out of your depth."

Kojak Man regarded me like an idiot, addressing the other humans. "The way I see it, we only have two options: Hike down to the lagoon and sit for two days, in the open, next to a heavily used water source, while we wait for your boat to arrive, or we can go to the village, where there's shelter, and presumably radios!"

Ian's Adam's apple bobbed up and down. "We won't stand a chance against those raptors. I know this from experience. It might take us longer to get there, but I actually prefer a trek to the old park."

"Even with your buddy Alfred?"

"It's Albert, man," I corrected. "Albert!"

Cynthia put her hands on her hips. "I mean, sure, we got two raptors, and maybe Albert here knows Kung Fu, but I really don't think this is a good idea. We might be better off going to the other island."

"Which could take more than two days, approximately the same amount of time it would take if we just waited by the lagoon."

"Well, since you put it that way..."

I rubbed my claws together eagerly. "Does that mean I get the Rambo knife?"

"No," just about everybody said at the same exact time.

"Darn." I raised my claw.

"Yes...Alfred?"

"Albert, sir."

"Yes...Albert?"

"You said we're going to a village, right?"

Roland's eyes narrowed in annoyance. "Yes..."

"Are there...people in the village?"

"No."

"Okay...so I'm assuming it also has no YMCA."

Cynthia chortled through her nose. Ian smacked his face. Roland...just cleared his throat and waved us down a muddy path.

Sergio took my leash again, and Zelda's, because Cynthia was walking' Buttface. Cassie carried Webbigail in her arms. Our daughter gets too spoiled.

Ironically, I heard strains of Walk the Dinosaur coming from Walkman Guy's headphones. His sweaty, uneven mustache twitched as he hummed along to the song.

I introduced myself to my companions, and they learned a few things about me.

I glanced at my captor's clothing. He'd traded in his tan suit for a Hawaiian shirt and khakis. "Hey, man. Rocking the Big Kahuna look, I see. I dig."

Sergio just rolled his eyes, leading me along in silence.

"Hey. Big Guy. Joseph Stalin just called. He wants his mustache back."

He only grunted in response.

At this time, Escalito excused himself from the group, explaining that he had horrible intestinal upset, and he'd be in the camp outhouse for awhile.

"You said there will be a boat coming in two days, right?"

Once my trailer mates confirmed this information, he announced, "I'll be waiting by the lagoon," and he went running off toward the scorched wooden structure at the corner of camp.

We never saw him again.

"Should we...leave him some food?" Sarah asked as the man departed.

Sergio shook his head. "He'll be fine. Escalito prides himself on his survival skills."

Mister Roland carried a nasty looking hunting rifle. Heard him bragging about it to Ian: 600 Nitro Express, made in 1904. 8700 foot striking force. Best when used within 40 yards of the target. Darts powerful enough to bring down a T-Rex, that would kill a human before they even knew one had struck them.

I asked him who had the dumb idea of breaking Rex Junior's leg, and he pointed to Ludlow.

Mister Accountant's excuse? "It was for transport. Didn't want it biting people's legs off."

I shuddered. "Remind me to never let you babysit my kids."

Roland, ordinarily stone faced, cracked a smile at this one.

After we had this conversation, Ludlow mostly kept to the rear of our group for some reason, maybe due to fear of dinosaur parents. He and Burke would have chats.

Onward we marched through the jungle. Walkman Guy bobbed his scraggly haired head, jamming to a mixtape.

I waved to him, pantomiming having a listen.

The man shrugged, tried to put the headphones on me, but they were too small, so he just held them beside my head. I only got a snippet of Fleetwood Mac's Tusk before he put them back on his ears. I swear I heard him listening to Creedence's Run Through the Jungle after that.

From time to time, throughout our trek to the village, I'd catch Heffalump peeking at me from the bushes and through vines, but he'd disappear just as quickly as he appeared.

Sergio and a few of the hunters wore fancy flashlights around their necks. These lights could turn wherever your head pointed.

"Hey neat!" I pointed to Sergio's. "Oye, ¿Puedo perdirlo prestado, por favor?"

The man's Stalin mustache curled downwards. "No. Te burlaste de mi, y disparaste en el trasero."

"I thought you weren't still sore about hat! I mean, you took a Triceratops sized dose of tranquilizer and lived! Anyway..." I cast Kelly a sideways glance. "Era ella, no yo."

By the thoughtful look on his face, I think he understood how I couldn't have possibly been in two places at once, distracting the man with a fun dance and shooting him in the butt. "Hiciste que un dinosaurio me atropelle."

Yeah, yeah. Blame me for a Triceratops trampling him. "De nuevo, no es mi culpa."

The big man sighed in resignation, as, other than some ruined clothes, no harm had truly been done. "Está bien, puedes tenerlo, pero solo sí cantas Chu Chu Ua."

Didn't have time to go through all the rounds, so I skipped to the grand finale: "Compania: Brazo extindido, puño cerrado, dedo hacia arriba, hombros en alto, labeza hacia atras, pies de pinguino, lengua fuero..."

Cassie, who had set down Webbigail to watch, clapped appreciatively.

Watching me perform all the associated motions must have been sufficiently amusing, for after making a face like Santa eating a lemon, and snorting like a bull, he decorated my neck with his futuristic flashlight (he probably would have given me someone else's, but I think he had the only XL model).

Cynthia stroked me on the head. "Albert, I'm sorry about the collars, and..." Her eyes indicated the leashes. "...Everything."

I frowned. "You're just saying that because the trailers went off the cliff, and these guys are in charge now."

The look on her face...didn't disagree. "Look, I just want to say I'm sorry, that's all. I don't want you to be mad at me anymore."

I switched from English to Raptorese. Then take my collar off.'

She cast uncomfortable looks at the poachers, speaking in like tongue. I can't do that right now. You see they got guns and stuff!'

I scoffed. "Thanks, Cynthia. Nice talk."

Cynthia rubbed my head. "I just want to say, whatever happens between us." She switched to Raptorese. I still love you.' She ran her hand down my tail.

I wrinkled my muzzle in annoyance, slapping her hand away. "You mind not doing that?"

"You know you like it."

I swallowed. My stomach flip-flopped. "Cynthia, have you been smoking...and inhaling?"

She reddened. "And why does that matter?" Cynthia cast Sergio and Zelda nervous glances, whispering to me in English. "I actually do love you."

"As a friend, right?"

"Well..."

"You do realize you smell like pee, right?"

"Would it help if I bathed?"

Zelda made an angry chirp.

"My wife asked—"

Cynthia blushed. "I know what she asked, and it's none of her business."

My wife snarled.

"Zelda here begs to differ."

Zelda cast her a suspicious look, growling through her teeth.

"Okay okay! As a friend! Geez..." Cynthia quickly stepped aside, slowing up to put space between us.

"Stay away from that wacky weed." I gave my wife a thankful chirp.

Cassie had been lugging our baby at the time...and looking a bit tired from the exertion. She just about fell on her butt when Cynthia stumbled into her path. "Hey! Watch it!"

"Sorry, kid."

"What were you and Albert talking about?"

"I don't want to talk about it. It's embarrassing."

"You mean like when your pants rip and nobody tells you, and you're walking around with a hole in your butt?"

Cynthia chortled. "Yeah. Exactly like that."

"Your pants look fine to me!"

"Drop it, kid. Please."

Weary of carrying my daughter, Cassie placed the little Parasaurolophus on my back. "What did Cynthia say to you?"

"Cynthia's been spending too much alone time on these islands. I think she needs a boyfriend."

"Oh."

I cast Sarah a suspicious look. "How did you get those urine samples anyway?"

The woman reddened. "It's embarrassing."

Walkman Guy: Grooving to Moscow by Genghis Khan. Nice music, but I had to narrow my nostrils whenever I got near him. I realize they didn't have showers, but I don't think he even used deodorant, and his rumply clothing...probably been wearing the same ones for days.

Ian paused to assemble a rifle.

Although he'd done passably well during his act of sabotage and so forth, all this hiking had put stress on his injuries, so he did a fair bit of limping.

He gave Kelly a sad look, which just made her perplexed.

"You all right?" Roland asked.

Ian didn't respond.

"Wrong question?"

"You ever hear of Gambler's Ruin?"

I grinned. "Wasn't that a movie with Burt Reynolds?"

Ian ignored me. "It's a statistical phenomenon. Everything runs in streaks. Weather, baseball, blackjack, stock markets. Once things tend to go bad, they tend to stay bad and cluster."

Burke, who had been listening in, only scoffed. "When it rains, it pours.' Figures that someone who wrote an entire book about the scientific value of Murphy's Law and Shit Happens' would find that philosophy appealing."

"That was the impression I got as well. Couldn't sustain enough interest to get through the first chapter."

Ian and Burke got into an argument about whose work was sloppier.

Roland scratched his bald head. "Ian, why did you come here?"

"To warn people. To let people know the facts about this place."

"Why do people have to know, if we can contain it?"

"This kind of thing can never be contained."

Burke shook his head. "Oh. Right. Because shit happens.'"

"Ian, this place will exist, even if nobody knows about it."

"I'd prefer if people didn't live in ignorance. We got out of the Dark Ages for a reason." After limping a few feet, though, he dropped his professorial tone. "To be honest..." As Kelly gained distance from him, he lowered his voice to a whisper, nodding toward her. "All that matters is her safety."

Roland smirked at the girl. "Is she yours?"

Ian nodded. "I don't know what the hell I'm doing with kids. I never should have had her."

I raised an eyebrow ridge. "Seriously, dude? I wouldn't say that about my kid if she were a half human Stegosaurus baby!"

Cynthia gave me a weird look, but I pretended not to notice.

Ian reddened. "Hey, I didn't mean Not have her, not have her,' I'm glad she was born and all, but she could use a better father."

"Huh!" said Kelly, who'd been eavesdropping this whole time.

The man shrugged. Since she didn't appear to be in the talking mood, he continued his conversation with Roland. "What's your excuse for being here?"

Kojak Man took a deep breath, speaking in a wistful tone: "Somewhere on this island there lives the greatest predator who ever lived, and the second greatest predator must take him down."

"Why?"

"Twenty years ago, a man climbed Everest without any oxygen. He came down almost dead. They asked, Why did you go up there to die?' He answered, I didn't. I went up there to live.'"

"Meaning...You're so dead inside that you have to face death to actually feel something?"

Roland didn't say anything to the contrary.

Burke scoffed. "I suppose it's better than Because it's there.'"

"Yeah, but to pursue a T-Rex? That's not a self test, that's suicide!" Ian devolved into a pedantic mini-lecture on evolution and humanity's tendency to destroy itself. Roland freaked out and growled something in his ear, but frankly I didn't get it. Vincent Price gave scarier speeches.

As you probably have guessed from the duration of these conversations, it had gotten very late, like pre-dawn. Everyone wanted to sleep. Cassie rode on my back, Webby slumped over my neck, in front of her. Sergio stumbled quite a bit, coming very close to dropping my leash on several occasions, but I didn't try anything because I assumed they still had clickers.

Before I played horsie' for Cassie, Cynthia tried to ride me, but, you know, she's an adult human, and I'm not like a Mamenchiasaurus. She took my refusal as a commentary about her weight, but I explained I only have the strength to carry "Fun sized humans."

"Weenie dinosaur."

Perhaps I was a weenie. Kelly did get a raptor-back ride from Zelda a little while later...but in my defense, her ride only lasted about ten yards before my wife laid down on the grass and refused to move until Kelly got off.

When I gave Cassie a ride, the woman resorted to merely leaning on my wife like a crutch.

Speaking of crutches, Ian wasn't doing so hot, either, with his limping. Nick offered to help, but Ian stubbornly refused.

"Dad doesn't think we'll make it," Kelly muttered to Sarah.

"Your Dad doesn't know what he's talking about. About a lot of things." She put an arm around her.

"Yeah, says the Olympic gymnast," I muttered to myself.

Nick leaned on a tree, waving Roland over. "Everyone's tired. We need to rest."

Our leader's response: "Another half hour." Translation: "We'll rest when we're dead."

"Some of us won't last that long. We didn't come this far to pass out in the middle of the jungle. If you don't call it, I will."

Roland grudgingly announced a five minute rest.

"Psst! Amigo!" Heffalump hissed from behind a tree. "¿Necesitas ayuda?"

I shook my head. "No puedo hablar ahora. Este chico habla Español."

"Oh."

I lowered my voice. "Puedes econtrarme un cuchillo o unas tijeras o algo así?"

"Cualquier cosa para un amigo." He disappeared into the bushes.

I didn't know it, but Nick had been carrying videotapes around in his backpack all this time. I found this out when he and Ian checked the bag. "I thought you lost all those when the trailer went down."

Ian shook his head. "It's only half our work. There was a tape in the camera, and more somewhere in the cabinets."

"Yeah, but you made it sound like you didn't have any, mister Glass Half Empty."

Nick pulled out a tape. "This one is pure crap. It's just documenting how we got to the island."

Sarah leaned over his shoulder. "Even if we get all those tapes back, people are going to say it's a hoax like those alien autopsy videos."

I grinned, wagging my tail. "Alien autopsy? I've never seen that! You got a copy?"

She ignored me. "Face it, Ian. What evidence we have will get misplaced,' people will pick holes in our testimony, call the dinosaurs a special computer effect...the only way to convince anyone is to dump a T-Rex in the middle of Times Square."

I clapped my claws. "Can we go to that high rise apartment where they filmed Ghostbusters?"

The two stared at me.

Ian looked thoughtful. "You know, we do still have him."

"Yeah, but for how long?"

"I dunno. All I'm saying is, if we still have him, maybe we should take him to that apartment."

I raised my fist in the air. "Yes! We're going to New York!"

Our rest break ended, and we were on the move again.

Not sure exactly when it happened, but some time during our break, Cowboy Nerd had developed an unusual scent.

That satchel he carried...I swear it bore some sexy, raptory smell. I kept sniffing it. "Uh...Mister Burke Country Guy, what's that you got in your bag?"

Burke suddenly got nervous, sweat breaking out on his face. "Nothing."

"Can you please get a bottle of that Nothing' for me? It'd make a great perfume for Zelda."

The man swallowed. "Uh...sure. Just as long as I...get an extract."

Only after marching about five kilometers or so did we realize that Dieter had vanished. As they said on Predator, "The jungle swallowed him up."

I thought I heard someone talking about fertilizing the island about ten or fifteen minutes prior, but the jungle had been noisy, and the other humans talked over him. Nobody had any idea what happened, especially his headphone wearing buddy.

"Hey, where's Lee Harvey Oswald?" I asked.

Ian frowned. "You know, that's a very good question."

We all stopped, looking around.

Roland scowled into the foliage, pacing back and forth. "Carter, when did he...saunter off?"

Walkman Guy, jamming to Vanilla Ice, didn't answer until his mobile tape deck got snatched away from his head. "Hey! I'm talking to you! When did you last see Lee...I mean, Dieter?"

Carter shrugged his pudgy arms. "Dunno, maybe seven or eight minutes ago?"

Our leader paused in thought. "He's dead. Don't tell the girls. We don't need screaming hysterics."

He didn't include Cassie in the "hysterics" comment because she appeared to be snoring into my back.

"We have to send someone to look for him!" Sarah cried.

"See? Screaming hysterics," Roland remarked, possibly to himself. To her: "You go if you want. We're not waiting up. Move out!"

I padded up to the man (which kinda strained at my leash). "Hey, Mister Roland! If you want, I can go check..."

"You're currently carrying a child and a smaller dinosaur."

"I can give them to Zelda or someone else to carry."

When Zelda gave me an irritated glare, blowing a raspberry, I added, "Or she can do the search..."

Roland only shook his head. "If he's in such a bad condition that he can't return to the group, he's not going to make it anyway."

"C'mon, don't you want to know what happened to him? At least a little? It's not that hard for me to sniff down his tracks..."

The man eyed me with disdain. "I'm sorry, but I don't trust you. We need someone to monitor you at all times, and we're in Raptor territory. If we sent you with someone, it would be easy for your friends to pick him off, and you'd get to go on your merry way."

"Just because they're Raptors doesn't mean they're my friends."

He narrowed his eyes. "What part of I don't trust you' don't you understand?"

"Sheesh! And they call me cold blooded!"

Anyway, on we marched, eventually coming to a rocky ridge, wherein we took another rest break.

"You okay?" Ian asked Kelly.

She just scoffed, seating herself beside Sarah, not looking at him.

Beautiful view. We could see all the way to the end of the island. Lovely jungle plants, palm trees, flowers, with the sun just barely creeping over the horizon. It would have made for a great photograph if I'd been allowed a camera. (Sniff!) Kinda got choked up as I took it all in.

Buttface lapped water out of rain puddles formed inside old Triceratops tracks. Thirsty, I considered doing that myself, but it looked too dirty.

Since Sergio had relaxed the leashes somewhat, Zelda rested her head on my shoulder, sighing contentedly.

It's too bad these dumb humans keep wanting to move around,' she chirped.

Roland checked his map. "The worker village is a mile and a half northeast from here."

Ian squinted as he peered over the edge. "There has to be a game trail or something going down from here."

Our leader seemed ready to go, but when he glanced back at our exhausted faces, he just frowned. "They'll have to rest before we look for it. Eat, sleep, two hours, then we hit it."

"About time!" I moaned from fatigue as I let Cassie and Webby off my back. "Gee, how do horses deal with all that weight? Where is a dinosaur chiropractor when you need one?"

So...we had four tents and some sleeping bags, more sleeping bags than tents. Roland had one, Sergio and the other hunter guys didn't.

Kelly and Sarah shared a tent together. They offered to let Cassie sleep in there too, you know, "Just the girls," but Cassie preferred to stick with me and Webby. "I can't sleep if I don't know I'm safe." Touching, huh?

As the big man dozed, he relaxed my leash. A lot, but I didn't run off because I was tired.

"Psst! Amigo!"

Heffalump tossed me a pair of child's safety scissors.

"Gee. Thanks."

"De nada." Off he went into the jungle again.

Although Sergio's eyes appeared to be closed, he still laughed at me.

Lovely time for sleeping under the stars, even though they'd soon be unviewable in the sunrise. I found it all very pleasant, the squawking of jungle birds, the buzz of insects...hadn't heard any monkeys in awhile. I believe the raptors considered them a delicacy.

I lay on my back, staring up at the night sky.

Cynthia scooted close to me, looking up that way as well. "Where's the North Star?"

"You're in South America." I pointed to a constellation. "There's the Southern Cross." I moved my claw over a bit. "See that? There's Draco, and, over there, The Great Diplodocus."

"Albert, I don't know that much about horoscopes and space stuff, but I'm pretty sure that's Orion."

"And I say it's the great Diplodocus. Orion is a human centric idea."

"Human centric?"

"Yeah. Mister Hammond gave me a map of space and had me draw my own constellations...Well, other than the Southern Cross, so that's what I came up with."

"But you kept Draco."

"It's a dragon."

She blew a raspberry. "I bet you also think they're Fireflies that got stuck up on that bluish black thing.'"

"No, they're balls of gas, burning billions of miles away."

Cassie stretched. "I thought they were a miasma of incandescent plasma."

"Go to sleep," I and Cynthia scolded at the same exact time.

The woman smiled at me like we were having a moment,' wiggling closer to me. "Albert, if we're still together after all this, you wanna play doctor sometime?"

"Doctor! Play? You want to take a knife and cut me open—!"

"No no no no!" she hissed. "Shoot, I thought you knew what that meant!"

Cynthia leaned in close, whispering an explanation.

I shuddered. "Eeew! I think I like my version better!"

She crossed her arms indignantly, rolling over.

"Weirdo."

"Takes one to know one."

"You still smell like pee. What is that, Allosaurus?"

"Shut up."

When you're already lying on the ground, it's not that difficult to feel stuff through your body, like, I dunno, a cattle stampede, a train, or...maybe a large dinosaur or two.

I think Roland must have felt it as well, because he poked his head out his tent, addressing the Gandhi looking guy. "Ajay, you hear something?"

"No sir, I feel something."

I did notice a few palm trees swaying in a suspicious manner.

Sergio, who appeared to have been sleeping sitting up this whole time, shook himself. "Who started a campfire?"

Sure enough, I did spot a little plume of smoke through the trees outside camp. When Roland went to investigate, Sergio dragged me and Zelda along.

We found Cowboy Nerd cooking himself a raptor omelet on a small fire. Definitely one of our eggs. Pebbly exterior, about eight inches long...

"So that was what I kept smelling in your bag!" I shouted. "You monster! That was a baby!"

Burke, still busy with his quote-unquote food preparation', didn't look at me. "I've dreamed of this moment ever since I was little, watching Flintstones."

"Flintstones! Do you see me dreaming about eating your babies, you sicko? "I'm beginning to see the wisdom of disemboweling and eating you people!"

"You're the ancestor of a chicken. You can easily pop out more eggs."

"Do you ever think about what the mother and father feel about that, Hannibal the Cannibal?"

Hannibal...I have nightmares about that guy sneaking into my cage like Count Dracula and carving pieces off me with his scalpel...

What, humans have nightmares about Velociraptors? That's weird.

Cynthia rushed to join us. "What the hell is going on?"

I pointed a claw at the fire. "Mister Lecter here was just cooking up a raptor baby!"

She put her hands on her hips. "I thought you weren't allowed to watch movies like that."

"Who said anything about movies? I have books...with sections cut out. I ate his liver with some lima beans, peanut butter and hot sauce.'"

"Somehow I don't think that's the correct quote."

"And I'm pretty sure that is the correct quote. They change a lot of things in film adaptations." Ahem. Ahem. Ahem.

Roland...probably didn't care so much about the cannibalism thing, but he did care about the fire. "Are you out of your mind! You might as well blow a trumpet and shout Hey, carnivores! Here we are!'" He kicked out the flames.

"He is out of his mind!" I said. "Apparently ever since he watched Flintstones as a kid."

Boom!

Not sure about the poachers, but by now my associates could recognize the sound instinctively: T-Rex. Everyone froze.

Roland, still like a statue, gave Ajay an ever so slight nod of the head. "Get the big gun."