He walked out, he said he needed time so did I so after six weeks and still nothing I chose the hardest decision ever.. I left.. I left my unit, the force AND I left Jay..
Less than one month on the job, and I get shot saving my partner only to have this bombshell dropped on me when I woke up...
"Welcome back Miss Lindsey I'm Doctor Smitt.." The doctor said walking in as he looked at my chart.
"Erin is fine!" I said smiling and then wincing as I moved to try and sit up a bit more.
As I gasped in pain slightly Olivia, Jay and Hank all rushed forward to help me thankfully for me Olivia and Hank reached my sides before Jay and together they helped me sit up more and both shoved pillows around and behind me simultaniously.
"Better?" Hank asks as he rubs my back before sitting back down beside me.
Nodding I force myself to turn back to the doctor.
"So when can I get out of here?" I ask hopefully to the doctor.
"You just got shot Erin twice!" Jay said looking at me concerned shaking his head trying to hide a smile on his face.
"And I'm fine right doc." Trying my best not to get too frustrated with Jay it just showed that despite everything he still cared for me.
"Am I able to have a moment with Erin please folks?" The doctor asked glancing around and sensing the tension building especially between Jay and I.
"Sure Doc!" Hank said standing and heading towards the door pushing a reluctant Jay out of the room.
Olivia made to stand also but I pulled on her hand and shook my head the worry of the doctors words making me unable to speak.
"Want me to stay?" Liv asked gently squeezing my hand back, all I could do was nod so the doctor said "Okay" and shut the door.
"Okay, now Erin, as part of our examination when you were brought in we ran a scan of your stomach and abdomin to assess the damage from the bullets." He explained as he pulled the chair closer to my bed and sat down at the end of my bed.
"Okay that sound pretty routine." I said unsure of exactly where this conversation was headed.
"Please Doc, just tell me." I said a bit snappy.
"Sorry, I just hate hospitals." I said now feeling horrible I snapped he was just doing his job.
"Quite understandable, the results of the scans and blood tests were reassuring in regards to the location of the bulllets and no visible infection or complications from the surgery, however what we did find was a little more concerning especially given your profression." He said trying to reassure me at the same time as scold me.
"What does my job have to do with this? Cops get shot all the time..." I said trying not to sound frustrated.
"Absolutely I understand, however in your condition more specifically you need to be more careful on the job." He said as more confusion crossed my face.
"There is a couple more questions that need to be answered and before I ask those I wanted to ask you if my collegue Doctor Adison Montgumery could join us for a moment, she is more able to help with this next part." He explained standing up and openening the door and motioning for someone else to come in the room.
It was a lady doctor smiling and nodding as she accepted the chart from Smitt who smiled and said "Good Luck Erin. All the best!" and with that he was gone.
"Hi Erin, I'm Doctor Montgrumery I'm the OBYN here at the hospital, is it ok if I sit down?" She asked smiling as I nodded and gestured to the seat her collegue had been in moments before.
"Ok, can you please tell me Erin when your last Menstral Cycle was roughly a date if possible." She explained smiling encouragingly just as Olivia gave my hand a gentle squeeze.
"Uh, roughly 4 and a half months ago... Uh July... the 23rd..." I said a bit more confidently. "It usually last about 5 days" I said remebering that was a follow up question from last time... Olivia squeezed my hand again, almost knowing what I was thinking.
"Ok, that's really helpful, thank you and lastly is this your first pregnancy?" She asked lifting her glasses and turning to face Olivia and I.
That's when the penny dropped.. it all made sense now.. asking about my Menstral cycle, now previous pregnancies I wanted to kick myself... I was pregnant again... I also knew it was Jay's baby again as well.
Feeling Olivia's comforting hand on my shoulder I realized they were waiting for an answer.
Nodding my head mostly to myself I cleared my throat I shook my head scrunching my eyes shut at the memory of both of my previous pregnancies.
"No, this I my 3rd and longest so far.." I said clearing my throat again.
"I miscarried when I was 14, that one was eptopic and then again uh roughly 18 months ago which I don't actually know why uh went to a scan and they..they couldn't find a heartbeat.. this was after an incident on the job that landed me in hospital.." I explained swallowing hard but keeping my eyes shut and squeezing Liv's hand back again reassuringly reminding me I was not alone in this.
"I'm so sorry you've been through so much loss, alright, now you are 32?" She asks curiously
Laughing a little I said "32 this year." sniffing as more tears threatened to fall again.
"Right.. well unfortunately with your previous history and age you will need to be monitored more closely and could be considered high risk especially with your line of work.." She said sympathetically.
"Okay, I can talk to my boss about lighter duties and eventually desk work..." I said suddenly feeling a little unintentionally defensive.
"It's ok you don't have to be worried yet, it's something we will keep a close eye on." She said reassuringly placing a hand on my arm before turning back to the clipboard she still held and I realized what she was getting at..
Before I could speak Doctor Montgumery spoke again standing up from her chair and moving it back to the side before slowly heading towards the door, pausing as she reached the handle and turned back to us.
"I will arrange an ultrasound, run some more bloods and we also need to do your blood pressure, height and weight as welll. Before we do all that though, I will give you some time to process this and we can talk more after the scan." She said smiling.
"Congratulations Erin." She said as she closed the door behind her.
"This is NOT happening.. not again.. not now.." I cried I muttered more to myself than a rather shocked and quiet Olivia.
Taking a breath I turned to look at her quickly wiping the tears away that had spilled over as the Olivia spoke.
"I'm guessing this wasn't expected and I know things weren't great between you and Jay when you left or even before you left. I'm also guessing that the baby is Jay's?" She asked trying to keep a smile off my face I nodded still unable to speak.
"Okay, well I want you to know that I am here for you no matter what!" She said squeezing my hand encouragingly as a small smile appreared on her face.
Suddenly I was unable to keep the smile off mine either...
"Thank you, uh could you ask Jay to come in here please." I asked now able to not only speak but take some steadying breaths to calm my nerves down so I could talk to Jay.
"Sure, did you want me to stay or I can get Hank?" She asked slowly getting up and slowly walking towards the door.
"No, it's ok. I need to do this before I talk to Hank again. Thank you for being here Liv, you should get home to Noah..." I said gentley smiling at the protective Mumma Bear coming out from my friend.
Nodding she motioned to I could only assume was Jay out in the waiting room.
As Jay began to walk over I heard Liv say "She wants to talk to you."
Jay seemed surprised but nodded waiting for Liv as she remained in the doorway for a moment or two more.
"Some Advise, talk to each other but most IMPORTANTLY listen to each other... I'll call you in the morning Erin, make sure you get some rest." She said as she placed a hand on Jay's shoulder and then moved to a worried and protective Hank who was also about to come in behind Jay.
"Thanks Liv, I'll call you later Hank!" I said gently nodding at Olivia's words and smiling at Hank encouragingly as Jay moved further into the room and sat on the chair next to my bed.
As I waited for Hank and Olivia to leave, I took a moment to appreciate the fact that Jay was sittinging here in front of me after all this time apart.
"Hey" I said trying to sound calmer than I felt as I reached my hand out towards him a grateful grin forming on my face as he took it and kissed it holding it tightly in both of his before speaking.
"God you scared the crap out of me Erin." He cried cupping my hand to his face and squeezing it tightly.
"Sorry I didn't mean to." I said apologetically returning the pressure to the hand I was holding suddenly unable to speak again.
"Are you ok?"He asked leaning forward further waiting for me to answer when I didn't he said "You're scaring me here Er" He whispered now reaching out to place a hand on my face which I leant into breifley before pulling back so I could look at him.
"So listen Jay, when I came in the doctors needed to run bloods but also because I was shot they needed to see where the bullets went and while they were doing this they found something out, something I didn't even know myself." I said moving slightly to try and face him more.
As he went to speak I held up my hand to stop him knowing if he started talking I wouldn't be able to tell him.
"They went ahead with the surgery because they found the buletts and waited for the bloods and the doctor just confirmed it and told me..." I explained still holding my hand up.
"The bloods confirmed that I'm-I'm Pregnant Jay, I'm 14 weeks pregnant!" I whispered forcing myself to look away as I allowed him to process.
When he didn't say anything I forced myself to look at him fighting the tears in my eyes before I squeezed his hand gently relieved when he returned the gesture.
Feeling slightly less worried at least momentarily I gave his hand another squeeze now unable to wait any longer.
"Jay, talk to me PLEASE!" I begged whispering the last part furiously wiping the tears away as I waited for Jay to tell me what he was thinking.
"PLEASE JAY" I cried now holding his hand with both of mine and pulling him towards me and as he moved towards me I let out a breath that I didn't realize I had been holding more focused on the tears I was still fighting to hold back even with a small smile that was forming on my face at the gesture's Jay had made.
More relief washed over me as I noticed the small smile that was now forming on Jay's face as well.
"A Baby?" He asked me stupidly
"You're having my baby..." He said now louder and more confidently.
Suddenly I couldn't speak so I just nodded as I allowed the tears to finally fall.
Laughing just a little at his reaction stopping suddenly as he leant into kiss me.
Eagerly kissing him back I placed my hands on either side of his face as I realized he was also crying.
Finally when I needed to breath I reluctantly pulled back breaking our kiss but resting my forehead against his contently remembering when we used to do this all the time.
"I've missed you so much!" He whispered as he nuzzled my nose gently before kissing me again.
"Me too, I'm so sorry I scared you..." I said quietly returning the nose nuzzle after breaking our kiss.
Sniffing a little as I pulled back to look at him.
"I'm just glad your ok, and that our baby is too." He said brushing my face softly as I leant into his hand slightly.
Suddenly there was a gentle knock at the door..
"Erin?" a nurse called poking her head through the curtain when I didn't respond.
Clearing my throat but not breaking my eye contact with Jay I asked
"Yes, what's up?"
"Uh, sorry to disturb you the uh doctor asked me arrange a ultrasound so you could see your baby..." She explained pushing the curtain open a bit more so she could push a trolley through.
"Yes, please!" Jay said reluctantly breaking eye contact and moving to sit back on the chair beside me never letting go of my hand.
I laughed a little and grinned widely shaking my head at Jay.
"This is Jay, babys dad." I said akwardy glancing to the nurse and back again.
"Nice to meet you Jay, the doctor will be in shortly to do your Ultrasound. Congratulations to you both!" She said unable to look anywhere but at Jay.
I couldn't help but scoff just a little at the nurse as she walked out before looking at Jay almost expecting a explanation.
"Only eyes for you Babe, Cross my heart well you and our baby when I get to see them..." He said leaning in to kiss me again just as the doctor came in.
"Alright Erin, are you ready to see your baby? Oh hello.." She said smiling as she wheeled in a chair and sat down at the trolley the nurse had wheeled in.
"Yes I guess I am,Uh Doctor Montgumery this is Baby's Dad Jay." I said kissing his hand that I held.
Grinning proudly at him before looking back at the Doctor smiling and trying to see what she was tapping away at on the screen.
"Nice to meet you Jay, congratulations." She said nodding and smiling at Jay as his grin just got bigger.
"Ok then let's see this baby.. lift up your gown for me, this might be a little cold." She said busy sorting the screen and the little wand that scan my stomach.
With Jay's help I lifted up my gown wincing again as I did.
"Alright, here we go.." She said moving the trolley so we could see.
As I looked at the screen I gasped, I knew from my friend Annie that the first scan always shows a blob but there were two blobs.
It was like Jay could read my mind
"Am I seeing two?" He asked looking harder at the screen.
"Oh good I'm not the only one seeing that! I whispered leaning into him gently as we both waited for Doctor Montgrumery to say something.
"Yes! Your right, you are indeed carrying twins Erin." she said breifly turning to face us smiling before turning back and pointing to each one by one...
"Here is Baby 1 and there... is Baby 2 and both are looking right on where they should be for size and your gestation." She explained as she moved the wand around on my stomach.
"Oh my God! Twins Erin!" Jay said lifting the hand of mine he held to his lips and placing a kiss on it before leaning in to kiss me a little more deeply than we maybe should have given the Doctor in the room...
Kissing him back I giggled a little feeling both excited and nervous all in the same moment.
"Congratulations to you both, I'll print up a couple of copies for you both!" She said smiling now standing up after turning the monitor off and pushing it in front of her towards the door.
"Now Erin, your blood pressure is quite high understandable given the trauma and stress of your job but given the risk factors associated with this pregnancy I am going to advise Doctor Smitt that you remain in Hospital where we can monitor you until the end of the week. I'll also chart up some anti-nausea medication for while you are in here and once your out until you get yourself sorted with a midwife." She said kindly before heading out the door pausing to shut the curtain and then the door behind her.
"Thank you!" I said nodding in agreement.
I groaned at her news just wanting to get out of here but if this was better for the babies then that's what I would begrudingly do.
"Wow! Twins oh wow!" Jay muttered still holding me as we both allowed ourselves to process what we had just seen and been told.
"Yeah, wow is right! Thank you for being here and Thank you for our babies!" I whispered resting my forehead on his before kissing him deeply and passionately pouring every feeling I had into it.
However before either of us could say more there was a knock at the door, and a nurse poked her head in.
She immediately looked apologetic for what she was about to say. "I'm sorry Detective but visiting hours are over you'll need to come back tomorrow." She said smling a small encouraging smile to Jay especially when I tightened my grip on him as she spoke.
Nodding reluctantly Jay said "Okay, can I have like 5 mintes to say Good night I promise I'll go and you won't have to chase me out."
Smiling sympathetically the nurse nodded her agreement and shut the door behind her.
As soon as the door shut Jay's lips were back on mine as he poured all his feelings into our kiss.
"I don't want to leave you." He confessed before continuing to kiss me.
"I'm not going anywhere Baby I promise!" I vowed gently against his lips.
"Go and get some rest PLEASE, for me and the babies we need you at your best." I reminded him as I resumed kissing him gently before I pulled him closer allowing me to kiss him deeper than before.
"I love you Jay Hallstead, that's never going to change!" I again vowed as he pulled back to look at me before saying.
"I love you more Erin Lindsey, I have loved you from the moment I saw you! I can not believe I have you back in my arms again. I truly feel like the luckiest guy in the world right now!" He said as I laughed and kissed him once again.
"Right, I should go..." He said reluctantly as he broke our kiss before we could get carried away again.
I nodded more reluctantly as I moved back and let him go.
"Yeah, I had the doctor to put you on the list so you can come back before visiting hours in the morning if you want.." I offered encouragingly.
"Call me if you need anything." He said kissing me one last time before stepping right back away from my bed, grabbing his coat and heading towards the door.
Before he headed out the door he turned and looked at me and said "Love you Erin, Night." and with that he was gone shutting the door behind him.
When I finally managed to get some sleep after the nurses took all my obs and helped me change into something more comfortable all I could dream about was how things could go with Jay and our Babies.. We could have such a perfect life together.. this was our second chance.