...Okay it's been a long ass time since I posted a story here and I apologize for that, life's been a pain and I lost a bit of mojo to write until recently, this was also posted on QQ and it's a bit further ahead than here if you want to check it out so enjoy

03/07

So…don't know why I'm writing this diary but I guess I needed something to keep me sane. Long story short, I got yeeted by truck-chan, found myself in the Fate/Grand Order universe with nothing but papers for my new ID and a suitcase filled with nothing but plain normal stuff like clothes, games and other basic necessities, and right now im standing in a very special part of the airport for private flights

Apparently I am part of a new group of staff to fill in the ranks of Chaldea and by then I had found out that everything was already done and dusted. Goetia? Gone. Lostbelts? Finished. Beasts? Tamed by the sheer CHAD energy of the twin main characters.

Yes, twins.

Anyways, I was among 30 people and being part of a seven men janitors/handymen team which I guess is fine? I mean considering I've got no circuits or whatever I guess I can use this as a nice relaxing vacation? Sure I might not be saving worlds and getting the chicks but hey, at least I get to have a one in a lifetime experience with some of my favorite characters

Gotta stop here for now, the plane is about to arrival and I rather go there first and maybe get the good seats before anyone else

04/07

Orientation was pretty basic but I think that's only for the normies or non magus like us because the others did have an extra hour or so before they were done. Our guide was EMIYA or rather Archer when he introduce himself to us, he showed us where we're gonna sleep and other stuff that isn't restricted, along with rules of the place like don't go into rooms unless you have permission for our own safety or with places where Casters and Magus work where we need to have one of them in there to watch us so that we poor shmucks don't touched something volatile in said workshop and maybe get whatever horrible things happen in there onto us

Which is very understandable, after that we put our luggage in our rooms before Archer took us to the cafeteria where we get to taste his cooking and by god was it heavenly. I could sing choirs on his food but that would probably take way too much time and space here so I'll leave it at there

My group did introduce to each other and personally I didn't like them one bit, I mean sure you aren't gonna be best buddies on day one but all of them are either dumbasses or suicidal idiots. Especially my leader, Jeffery something or other because holy shit he cannot shut up about wanting to bang the female Servants, I mean goddamn man YES they are hot/sexy/beautiful/cute but even I could see that they are all at least loyal to the two Masters here

Guy was spouting shit like he was in some hentai doujin or something and the others were lapping it up like dumb horndogs. I tried getting something resembling a normal talk but gave up after ten minutes and took my food elsewhere to eat, actually made a friend at the new table, a cute purple haired Irish magus named Deirdre and we made some small talk. She works for the Rune department and was here alone to learn from the Irish and Norse Servants to further the department's understanding of Runes, and I like to think I caught up with what she said but I think we both knew it was a lost cause. But hey at least I made a new friend in this new world so plus?

05/07

Okay, first day on the job and have to say it's not looking so good for me. To start I'm probably the only one actually learning and doing my job, the others were doing….something? I don't know what but Jeffery and the others were hanging out with the new Magus for some reason which left me doing a one man job to clean up all of Chaldea

Now I was understandably pissed and called out those assholes to do their jobs, Jeffery sneered at me and said he was the leader and that betas like me should leave them alone. I mean seriously? I don't know anyone that talks like that so I gave him the greatest answer known to mankind

I decked his sorry ass out which stunned the others before Jeffery ordered them to jumped me. Luckily Fergus was nearby and he helped me out from getting jumped by these assholes, after that the Director was undoubtedly pissed by the idiots and ordered them to work or else, then he gave me the rest of the day off which I was glad for
Even heard him chuckle when I flipped the others off while I got out of the office. I managed to meet up with Deirdre and hang out with her for the rest of the day though it was kinda odd that she was the only female Magus assigned here but I didn't bother asking why as we get to know one another

07/07

ONE WEEK, ONE FUCKING WEEK, HOLY FUCK WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE I WAS WITH?!

Ok, ok, I'm calm, I'm calm…

Right, summary, as part of the new group of staff a good chunk of them were Magus who were meant to be Extra Masters to give the twins a break from time to time. Now that's logical right? I mean the twins have been the only Masters here during all of Grand Order and now that's said and done they should be able to take some kind of break right?

WRONG!

Now from what I heard the Extra Masters couldn't give two shits about learning from the twins, you know, the people who ACTUALLY FOUGHT WITH THEIR SERVANTS, and these idiots in their so called 'wisdom' brush off their teachings and haughtily declared that they could do things better than the twins could, RIGHT IN FRONT OF SAID SERVANTS IN THE CLASS WITH THEM

If that wasn't fucking enough, they had also declared that all they'll do is to provide 'mana transfer' to the female Servants while just ordering the Servants to just do their jobs.

Predictably this did not go well with the Servants who volunteered to be examples for the class. If that wasn't enough they also decided to harass the Servants stating that they were Masters and that they should be grateful to be now under 'better' Magus that the twins and belittle the twins achievements

The winners of the Darwin awards people

Last I heard there were multiple idiots in the infirmary and due to a 'lack' of supplies all of them will heal the 'normal' way, I gave them no pity after hearing what they did but I'm sure Nightingale and Asclepius will make them 'better' soon

Bad part was that even the non magus staff like Jeffery and most of the others were part of it as well and that puts me in the shit list as I curse them every fucking second since I had to be watched by Hassan-I FREAKING Sabbah while I had to clean the place with the others were also being watched by the other Hassans.

Deirdre was the one providing the information and she even heard that the Magus were kicking up so much fuss that the Director had everyone of the new staff INCLUDING me to sign a contract where we have to be able to command the Servants in combat tomorrow or be shipped back to the Clocktower with a very strong worded letter

Basically putting the money of the idiots where their mouths were and I was just the poor unlucky soul that got caught into it

FUCKING HELL MAN IF I GET KICKED OUT OF HERE I'M GONNA COMMIT SOME TERRORISM ON THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS

Right now I'm with Deirdre trying to cram as much as I can because I am not getting kicked out of here because of the dumbasses here, because by god I do not want to be the few people to see what a displeased Magus would do to me

Screw the others though

I thank god Deirdre was helping me because I never really played FGO so I have no idea of all of the stats and skills of the Servants, though I'm surprise she knew this much about the Servants but I didn't question it with the test being tomorrow

Wish me luck

12/07

So update, I won and manage to stay in Chaldea yaaa….

Though apparently I was in the infirmary in a three day coma and I don't remember how I got there

Well at least until the Director came in alongside Gudako and Nightingale, the red haired gacha gremlin was grinning from ear to ear as the Director apologize to me and gave me a massive hazard pay which admittedly was confusing for me before Gudako took out a remote and pressed it on the TV provided nearby

There I got my answer, the test three days ago was about adapting and survive, where each and everyone of us would get a random number of Servants to fight against a random number of opposing Servants with a hard limit of three on each side and for us non magus we would be given temporary Command Seals with its perks like mental commands and communications

Though as I watched the TV I had a sinking feeling that maybe the randomizer was "skewered" just a tinsy, tiny bit, maybe, not saying that BB or any of the more techno inclined Servants might tilt the scales a little, especially not depending on how much they hate each member of the new staff

Not like giving one guy the three loli Servants who would hide in Jackie's mist and leaving their Master hung out to dry via Cu Alter

Or another who had to deal with both Lancer Artorias firing Rhongomyniads at him while Mash hide behind her shield enjoying tea with Li Shuwen

Or maybe like the guy who had Kintoki, shota Gil and Shota Alexander who simply was pampered by Raikou and Tiamat who took turns beating the holy crap of the Master while taking care of the three

And most certainly not the guy who only got Hans and had to fight Gorgon, Heracles and Morgan oh no certainly not that, especially when Hans dipped the fuck out of there real quick

….…okay I busted a gut laughing my ass off at that one

Though it seemed that some managed to eek out a win and stay here but it wasn't many, sadly Jeffery was one of them but only just barely being able to stay on with his team

Then we got to my part of the test and surprisingly I got a decent roster, Lancelot (saber), Medusa and Moriarty against Quetzalcoatl, Edison and Spartacus

The firepower was roughly even I think? with maybe the opposing team a little higher than us due to Quetz alone but we had a more rounded team I guess? Hard to tell when I was always in Medusa's arms trying to dodge Edison firing his rainbow beam while Moriarty was playing keep away with Spartacus and Quetz was practically trashing Lancelot

Our objective was capture the flag while making sure I wasn't taken out or at least managing to take the flag to score while I was still standing, hard as it was I had manage to rally my team into luring out Quetz and Spartacus together and then having Moriaty raining down bullets and missiles for as long as he could, then Lancelot rushed in to harass Edison while Medusa mange to get me towards the prize and we took the flag

And it was there I saw how I got into the coma in the first place

See Quetz managed to escape the trap using Spartacus as a shield to tank all of it, then she rushed in a nearly blazing fast speed bursting out of the tree line in and slammed into Medusa and sends her flying. Then she quickly turned and launched herself at me with a lariat ready to take me out

And honestly I don't know what went through my mind at that moment but it seemed that I was panicking so hard I went for the most ridiculous thing a normal human like me could do. I intercepted the lariat and did a I swear to god a literal Rock Bottom on her and because she was slightly in the air I was able to plant her ass on the ground
And that made the battlefield go silent, Gudako was busting a gut and pointed out how insane my play was and I could see in the TV the semi stunned look on Quetz's face and I don't blame her

But what happened next had me screaming out in panic as I saw myself putting a hand out at the Mayan Goddess face and did the Just Bring It taunt

RIGHT IN HER FACE

I think I had an out of body experience or high of the adrenaline from what I pulled on her and I came to regret real quick. Because the next thing I saw was a very familiar grin before I saw myself being suplex hard into the dirt. Gudako was busting a gut as I put my face into my hands in sheer disbelief

The female Master of Cheldea pats me on the back while still laughing at my plight as she then explained that if Quetz hadn't hold back as much as she did I would be a literal paste on the ground. But that doesn't mean I was walking that off oh no sir

Broken neck, broken spine, multiple organ and brain injuries and if it wasn't for Nightingale and Asclepius I would probably be seeing the afterlife for real this time
And that was Quetz HOLDING BACK

God I think I had a small existential crisis for the moment before the Director then said I was gonna be on medical leave for another couple of days but I could still walk about and enjoy myself before leaving us and I could hear a bit about dealing with the crap from the Clocktower and I don't blame him

I was then sent back to my room to rest up for a while before a knock on my door was heard. I opened up and my jaw dropped seeing Quetz in her Santa samba outfit telling me to get ready for the welcoming party for me and Deirdre later tonight

Holy crap if you could see her right now, the only words in my mind at the moment was "mommy sorry mommy sorry mommy sorry"

*Ahem*

Anyways I'll finish up here for now, the party is gonna be in a few hours so I gotta clean up nice and good for it all

Later

13/07

….…I don't know what happened last night to put me in this situation at this moment and I am torn about wanting to find out or not

The only thing I remember was the party, me being dragged by the older Alexander towards Deirdre and the Celts, Quetz being my server as an apology for what she did to me, me laughing and accepting the apology and then….

Lots of certain "cultured" images and sounds happening

Right now I have a sleeping naked Quetz on my bed, me naked as well with a very tingly feeling on my groin and both of us were covered in sweat and fluids

….….I don't know if I should be screaming to the heavens or feeling scared right now

Help?