Chapter 14

Leaf had requested her apartment be made more spacious, so that her Pokemon wouldn't have to squeeze together or stay in their PokeBalls. Thanks to her Champion status, the renovations were completed swiftly and thoroughly. Since Leaf never had guests over, let alone overnight ones, the walls of the second bedroom and bathroom were torn down. Their furniture and appliances were moved out, along with the living room bookshelves since Leaf wasn't an avid reader. The porcelain tiles of the bathroom floor were replaced with wood. The result was an expanded living room. It looked so natural that it was hard to believe Leaf ever had extra rooms.

The new space was dedicated completely to her Pokemon. Synthetic grass carpeting was installed; Venusaur slept on it. A fake, leafless tree was built for Fearow to perch on. If Fearow wanted to fly outside, one of the windows was modified so that she could easily open and close it on her own. Dragonite would be able too, once he was allowed to be out in public.

Gengar liked to sleep by sitting against something, and the base of Fearow's tree was its spot. Dragonite slept in a similar manner, so Leaf ordered a reclining chair for him. It was placed by the couch, where Golduck wanted to sleep.

Leaf originally wanted a pool for Golduck built, but it wasn't quite doable. It would've been tiny and maintenance would've been an issue, so Golduck was granted access to the Viridian Tower's communal pool.

Ninetales wanted to sleep close to Leaf, so her red-wine-colored cushion was placed at the foot of Leaf's bed. She liked to sleep with a fox plushie Leaf bought for her. Leaf bought toys for all of her Pokemon to play with, stored in a transparent bin near Fearow's tree.

Even with the added space, the apartment wasn't big enough for everyone to really run around. Leaf still needed to take them outside. But for days like today when there weren't any battles or special events scheduled, it was sufficient. At the very least, it was preferable to being stuck inside PokeBalls.

At 9AM sharp, Leaf arrived at Lance's cabin on Route 28. She didn't get there on foot like last time; Fearow flew her over. Leaf would've flown on Dragonite, but she couldn't risk him getting spotted by a civilian. President Ken would undoubtedly hear about that.

Lance was already there. Leaf was afraid to ask how long he'd been waiting. "Let's begin, shall we?" The Dragon Tamer seemed allergic to small talk. "Return your Fearow and send out your Dragonite."

"I think Fearow can just fly around," Leaf replied. "Stretch her wings a bit."

Lance shook his head. "I don't recommend that. The wild bird Pokemon around Mount Silver are highly territorial. It's best that Fearow doesn't risk encountering any of them."

How hostile was Mount Silver that even the skies weren't safe? Fearow raised her head defiantly, as if saying it was the wild bird Pokemon that should fear encountering her. As much as Leaf believed in Fearow's strength, she didn't want the vulture to be in dangerous situations. She placed a hand on Fearow's neck. Understanding Leaf's intention, Fearow hesitated before bowing. Leaf returned Fearow and released Dragonite.

Dragonite looked uneasy when he realized where he was. No doubt, he was worried about how the training session would go. Leaf was, too. She had no idea what to expect. It wasn't like Lance prepared a syllabus or anything. He seemed to store everything in his mind as if it was a file cabinet.

"Before we actually do anything," Lance began. "I need to explain what's happening when Dragonite loses control. You may already know this, but Dragonite isn't just wildly flailing about. He's using a move called Outrage. It's a dragon's most powerful attack."

Leaf knew only because Outrage was the signature move of Lance's Dragonite. She'd suspected that Dragonite was using Outrage as well, but hesitated to call it that in case it wasn't.

"Us humans could never truly fathom the power dragons wield. We simply aren't built for it. But just because dragons are doesn't mean it's easy for them. Imagine there's a beast inside your Dragonite, locked in a cage. The beast is violent and desperate. It constantly fights hard to break open the cage and run wild. I don't think I need to explain what happens when the beast escapes."

Leaf could picture Dragonite's blank face when he lost himself. She could hear his bloodthirsty roar. Even though it was warm and sunny outside, she shivered.

"What I'm going to help your Dragonite with is how to tame the beast. How to keep it calm inside its cage. How to let it out and reel it back in. The beast inside Dragonite will become his greatest weapon."

Such a statement should've excited Leaf. She should've looked forward to the prospect of Dragonite successfully using Outrage. But Leaf didn't feel that way in the slightest. Something else was clawing at her chest, something icy. It made it difficult for her to breathe fully.

After a moment, Leaf found the word for it: dread.

Lance picked up on Leaf's apprehension. "You don't want that?"

"It's not that I don't want it," Leaf quickly replied. She paused, trying to collect her thoughts. Why was she against Dragonite learning Outrage, which was probably the most important attack for a dragon to master?

When the reason dawned on her, she was almost too afraid to say it. "Of course I want Dragonite to control his power. I don't want him to lose it again. And that's the thing. I…I don't want him to use Outrage ever again."

Leaf braced herself for Lance's wrath. She was certain the Dragon Tamer would be furious over her wasting his time, for seemingly not appreciating the help he was offering. Furious over her cowardice, her weakness.

To her surprise, Lance's expression was soft. "I understand. It's frightening seeing your Pokemon in such a state. Even today, I struggle with it sometimes. But I've come to understand how necessary it is for a dragon to not lock his power up and throw the key away. He will never be completely fulfilled otherwise. As docile as a dragon may seem, he needs to reach his full potential."

Leaf looked at Dragonite. What Lance said might be true for other dragons, but it might not be for Dragonite. Perhaps Dragonite didn't care to tap into such a dangerous power. The one who would know best was Dragonite himself. Leaf still didn't want him to use Outrage, but it was ultimately Dragonite's call.

Dragonite met Leaf's gaze and she knew the answer even before he nodded. There was a fire in the dragon's eyes. It wasn't like a forest fire, burning everything in its path. It was soft, almost like a candle's flame, determined to shine in the darkness.

Dragonite needed to do this. He needed to do this more than anything else in the world.

Leaf's chest was heavy with emotion. She imagined this was similar to how Mom felt when sending Leaf off on her journey: not wanting to let her precious child go, but knowing it was for the best. She looked back at Lance. "OK, then. Let's begin training."

Lance smiled. It caught Leaf off-guard, until she remembered that the last time Lance smiled at her was before their battle, before he witnessed Dragonite lose control. "Yes, let's begin."

He faced Dragonite. "We already know you can contain your power most of the time. Your Outrage is triggered in very high-stress situations. So far, you've been able to regain control of yourself. How do you think you've done it?"

It seemed strange for Lance to directly ask Dragonite this question, when Dragonite couldn't speak to them. Dragonite glanced at Leaf. Feeling compelled to answer for him, she said, "I try to remind him who he is. That seems to help."

"Do you agree with that, Dragonite?"

Dragonite nodded.

"I agree as well. That's the key to controlling your power: understanding that it's a piece of you, but it doesn't define you. It's difficult in the moment, but you need to remember what sets you apart from everyone else. Tell me, Dragonite, who are you? And don't answer for him, Leaf."

Leaf kept her mouth shut, even though she didn't know what Lance would receive from Dragonite's nervous gaze. She thought about how she saw Dragonite: a gentle giant, who would never hurt a fly. He was always willing to help others. He went along with Gengar's antics, even if he didn't want to get into trouble. He was shy, but also brave.

Strength didn't always look like jumping into every fight head-on. It didn't always look like defeating the opponent with a single attack. Sometimes, strength was quiet, internal. Sometimes, what could be perceived as weakness, was actually strength.

"I understand," Lance mused. "You carry great pain in your heart. Being with Leaf has healed you in many ways, but some demons must be faced alone. And you've been avoiding it because you're afraid others would be hurt in the process."

Was it true? Had Dragonite been suffering this whole time without her realizing? Dragonite's gaze cast downward, as if he was guilty of something. But Leaf was the guilty one. She wasn't the one who hurt Dragonite, but she should've known that whatever happened when he was under Team Rocket's ownership wouldn't be easily forgotten.

"Let it out."

Both Leaf and Dragonite were baffled by the command.

"Don't hold back," Lance ordered. "Let all the pain out."

Dragonite looked at Leaf and she saw the battle within him. She saw the beast Lance spoke of. It was ugly and it was beautiful. It broke things and it made things whole. It should be imprisoned and it should be free.

What did one do when faced with contradictions? When both sides were right and wrong? When the very thing that hurt you was also your savior?

Leaf gave Dragonite a tiny nod.

Dragonite flew towards the mountainside. Purple and yellow energy swirled around him. With a deafening roar, he thrashed at the stone.

Leaf didn't know how much time passed. She wasn't aware of anything but Dragonite's fury and it was absolutely captivating. Leaf had heard his pain before, when he faced Lance's Dragonite. But this was different. In that battle, the beast was in charge and unleashing the storm within Dragonite. Now, Dragonite was utterly himself. Perhaps he was the most himself he'd ever been.

Dragonite's movements began to slow. The energy began to fade. He landed gently on his feet and fell onto his back.

Leaf went to Dragonite. She had to be careful because there were chunks of stone around the dragon. The mountainside had deep holes all over. She wondered what a hiker would think if one ever came by.

Dragonite's eyes were open. There was a faint glimmer of consciousness in them. It must've been exhausting, channeling all that rage. Within that exhaustion, however, was peace.

Leaf realized then that her cheeks were wet. She must've started crying when Dragonite was punching the mountain.

"Good," Lance said. Leaf hadn't heard him follow her. "You didn't hold back at all. You can rest now. You deserve it."

Dragonite smiled and closed his eyes.

After training with Lance, Leaf stopped by the Indigo Plateau Pokemon Center. Upon seeing her, Venusaur rumbled with excitement.

Venusaur's leg, while significantly better than before, still wasn't fully healed. He still needed to wear his brace and had just started seeing a physical therapist. He was in the middle of a session when Leaf walked in. He and the physical therapist, named Ella Cruz, were walking laps around the backyard.

"Good afternoon, Leaf. How are you?" Ella asked. Her voice was always deeper than Leaf anticipated. Her black hair was tightly wound into a bun.

"I'm alright. How's Venusaur?"

"Getting stronger each day. He's almost done with his exercise. We'll do one more lap and then I'll let you have him."

Leaf watched Ella and Venusaur slowly loop around. Ella had her hands on Venusaur's side, the one with the broken leg. Though Leaf knew that Ella was holding him up a bit, Venusaur's gait did look more stable than when he first started physical therapy. With more time, Venusaur would be able to comfortably walk again.

Ella was the top Pokemon physical therapist in the region. It wasn't difficult to see why. Ella was strong. Her scrubs made her look slim, but when she handled Venusaur, Leaf could see the muscles in her arms. She wasn't just strong physically, either. She was diligent and disciplined. She was never late to appointments and was never distracted during. Ella gave every patient her all. So far, there hadn't been a single Pokemon she couldn't aid.

When they returned, Ella said her goodbyes and left Leaf with Venusaur. Leaf beamed at her starter. "Ella's right. You're recovering slowly but surely."

Venusaur pressed his forehead against Leaf. She stroked him. Leaf made an effort to visit Venusaur everyday. She couldn't yesterday because of Blue's Gym Leader debut and birthday outfit shopping. She gave Venusaur the rundown.

"It's an interesting choice, making a former Champion a Gym Leader. The skill gap is just so wide, you know? How much can Blue really hold back? I am glad he's not going to just dilly-dally in Professor Oak's lab, though. I think he would've ended up dying from boredom."

Venusaur nodded and Leaf suddenly wondered what her Pokemon thought of Blue. They saw Blue and his team as rivals, due to their losses against them. But were there any opinions beyond the battlefield? Probably not, since Leaf's Pokemon didn't know Blue like she did. But it was an interesting thought, nonetheless.

She wondered, then, what they thought of Red. They got to know Red a bit during their journey. Did they see Red the way she did? The way everyone else did?

"Tasha went ham on my birthday outfit. It does look nice, I guess. You should be seeing it; I had Tasha arrange for you to be at my celebration. Pretty crazy to think I'm turning seventeen soon. There's nothing super special about the age itself. It's the fact that it'll have been two years since we met. Doesn't that seem both long and short to you? Like, I can't believe it's already been two years and it's also only been two years."

Venusaur nodded. Leaf was sure that he was reminiscing on his days as a little Bulbasaur, walking side-by-side with her. How far he'd come. She was willing to bet that when he first stepped outside of Professor Oak's lab, he'd never expected to be where he was now.

Leaf's gaze flicked over to the brace around Venusaur's leg. Even though Venusaur was getting better, guilt still tugged at her. It was always hard for her to see her Pokemon in pain and this injury was particularly serious. Whenever Leaf replayed the battle against Marian in her head, she was certain that it had been avoidable. It was her fault that Venusaur needed to wear a brace and still couldn't walk properly after a month of intensive care.

And although Leaf tried to squash the thought, a part of her feared that he would never fully recover. That this leg would always be weaker than the rest. There wasn't any point in worrying about this when there hadn't been any complications so far, but it kept Leaf up at night.

Leaf sent Fearow out. She realized then that she should've returned home and gathered the rest of her team before coming to the Pokemon Center. Golduck, Ninetales, and Gengar would've loved to see Venusaur. Then again, it wouldn't have been fair for Dragonite if everyone except him got to visit.

Fearow squawked in excitement and nuzzled her beak against Venusaur's head. Venusaur greeted her with a rumble. The two of them continued to make sounds and gestures at each other. Leaf wished she had some sort of device that translated what exactly her Pokemon were communicating to each other.

The both of them suddenly glanced at Leaf with a smile. Clearly, they'd been talking about her. She wondered what there was to say.

They hung around with Venusaur until a nurse called all the Pokemon over for dinner. As always, Leaf hesitated to say goodbye to her starter.

Venusaur gently nudged Leaf with his head and rumbled. Leaf gave him a small smile. "I know we'll see each other again, but I wish you could just come home with us."

Venusaur rumbled again. Fearow let out a squawk. Leaf thought about how Lance had communicated with Dragonite earlier. She always had a sense of what her Pokemon said to her, but she wondered if Lance could more precisely understand their language.

"Yes, you're coming home eventually. Hopefully sooner rather than later." Leaf's smile widened slightly. "Enjoy dinner. Let's go, Fearow."

Leaf took off on Fearow. Before they were too high up, she looked down at her starter one more time. He was watching them leave, the smile on his face fading.

Leaf peeled her gaze away. They were definitely out of Venusaur's vision, but she didn't want to risk him seeing the tears gathering in her eyes.

When Leaf returned to her apartment, her other Pokemon excitedly greeted her and Fearow. She let Dragonite out and began to prepare dinner. Since she didn't really cook, her fridge was mostly stocked with high-quality Pokemon food. The only food she had for herself was leftovers from last night's dinner with Tasha. As everyone ate together, Leaf found herself staring at Dragonite, who looked tired but content from training.

Leaf burst into tears.

All her Pokemon immediately rushed to her side to comfort her. Leaf didn't say anything to them, just let herself cry until her eyes couldn't produce any more tears. She cried for Dragonite and his trauma and his journey. She cried for Venusaur and his broken leg and his loneliness. Lastly, she cried for herself. She didn't quite understand why.

Gonna be traveling soon, so wanted to get this chapter finished! Let me know your thoughts; it was a bit more on the emotional side.

Thank you!