Chapter 9

Jacob

Bella gave me a playful push. "If you don't stop making me laugh, I'm going to get sick. I haven't eaten this much in years and that's not an exaggeration."

"You didn't even finish half of the double bacon cheeseburger," I reminded.

"Well, I wasn't expecting to get a milkshake and a mega side of half fries, half onion rings. We should have split this."

Wiping my lips with a napkin after my last onion ring, I shook my head. "No way, Bells, I don't share."

She rolled her eyes, but I stared a little too intently and the atmosphere inside her room shifted. Bella broke our trance. "One of you could have informed me you order the largest combo on the menu."

"You didn't ask. As I recall, you told Charlie to order whatever Jake likes. You should have known better, given my physique." I flexed my biceps to prove a point.

"Oh, my goodness. An ego has emerged. This is new. Where is my humble therapist I've gotten to know the past few months?"

"Since I'm not your therapist anymore, I thought you could handle a glimpse of the real me." My eyebrows rose a few times, but I resisted the urge to wink at her.

Bella giggled and her laughter was the purest sound my sensitive ears had ever heard. Thinking back to the version of her in a coma all those years made this gift of awakening even more precious. I wouldn't come on too strong, but I would not hide my true feelings for her when the appropriate time came to discuss my intentions further. So many medical professionals stated Bella Swan should not be alive, but she was. They said she'd never wake up, but she did. Others, like my colleague, insisted that she'd never rehabilitate, but she grew stronger each day. Bells had a second chance at life, and I was certain I fit into that new life for some reason.

Before I made it weird, I changed the subject. Every so often, we could hear Charlie and Renee bickering from the living room. "They're something else, aren't they?"

She agreed. "It's a miracle I even exist. I swear my parents secretly hate each other."

"Aw come on Bells. I know your memory still has lapses, but you should understand there's a fine line between love and hate. I'm not counting those two out just yet."

Her head shook. "No way. That's too weird. I just hope Mom can chill, so Dad doesn't retreat so far into himself that he becomes mute."

My professional side still mingled with my personal involvement. I switched into assessment mode. "Bells, are you sure that dizzy spell was nothing? Because Madi from the home health agency is coming tomorrow. You can always reschedule if you're not up to it."

"Oh, you know her?" Her question was hesitant.

"Sure, she used to work weekends at the rehab center when I was a student. I might have requested her for you. She's great."

"I'm sure," she said.

A quick flash of annoyance moved over Bella's expression. Was it jealousy? If so, maybe the right time for us would come sooner than later. A pause lingered between us before I explained the reason Madi transitioned to home health after she had a baby last year and wanted something more flexible. She was at least a decade older than me and her husband was one of Charlie's deputies, but I kept quiet for a few more minutes.

I added, "And I'm sure Charlie mentioned Walker, his deputy, is Madi's husband, so he probably threw in a request as well."

A smile replaced Bella's pensive expression. "Is that so? No, I didn't realize that my new therapist had a connection to Dad. That's reassuring, I guess. And no worries about what happened earlier when I settled into my new room. I'm ready to continue therapy. I don't want to lose any momentum."

"You won't, but don't push yourself too hard. Being at home brings new challenges."

We talked a little more about her expectations, and I gave advice without coming across like a know it all. Bella was bound and determined to be one hundred percent.

I needed to go soon and let her get some rest, but as I stood up, her question surprised me. "When can I meet some of the pa… I mean, your friends." Her face reddened. "That sounds so stupid, sorry. I doubt they're begging to meet me. It's just, Dad says Leah designed my room and Mom loves her. I need to thank her in person. She also mentioned that Quil cooks. He already sounded like fun, but now I'm intrigued to hear he's a chef. When I was in rehab, I didn't want many people around, but now it might be helpful to know some people my age."

"Sure, sure, Bells. Leah and Renee have some shopping trips planned, so I assumed you'd meet her soon. Leah's invited your mom to help with another small project. As far as Quil goes, he's anxious to make you some meals, but don't call him intriguing to his face. His ego is too inflated as it is. Charlie isn't sold on him being over here, but I've already made a tentative plan with Quil."

"I wonder if Dad is concerned about the expense. He might want to quit his extra security job now that I'm not in the rehab hospital. Mom insists ending her lease will help, but their living arrangement is temporary."

"Charlie might be concerned about other shit," I corrected my language, since I'd seen her in a professional capacity for so long. "I mean stuff concerning Quil. Charlie has put the cuffs on him a few times and thinks he's too wild to be around you."

She rolled her eyes and chuckled. "It's alright if you swear, Jake. Dad thinks I need a babysitter, obviously. I'm not a child."

Her pout appeared childish, but I reassured her. "I know. Of course you're not."

Bella's sadness arrived again. I was accustomed to a certain defeated look too often. "I mean, I doubt anyone considers me a grownup either. It's almost like I'm a teen frozen in time." Before I could correct her assumption, she broke down in silent tears. Hopefully, her parents didn't hear, or they'd think I'd done something terribly wrong.

Lowering my voice, I shushed her. "Easy, Bells. The only reason I censor myself is an occupational habit. Swearing is considered unprofessional in my line of work. It has nothing to do with you personally. We're both adults." Every waking interaction with her had reminded me she was a woman, and I was a man. No matter how strong the wolf made me all these years. Interactions with Bella highlighted my true weakness for her. Hurting her was the last thing I wanted to do. Imagining anyone else hurting her made me feel murderous. All the guys knew too well. They couldn't even joke anymore; fearful I'd rip a throat out.

She sniffled as she tried to stop her sobs. "It's just, for the first time, I realize how that scenario kind of sounds horrible. Why did I use to have the opposite opinion?"

"Um, not sure. I guess lots of teenagers feel invincible and don't want to get old."

Her tears slowed, and her happy mood appeared shattered. "Oh, Jacob. This is still so confusing, but it seems that no matter where we are in time, you're still a loyal friend."

Was she putting me in the friendzone? I hope not, but before I could reply, Bella grabbed hold of my hand. Her delicate fingers intertwined with mine. Strong, invisible surges traveled up my arms until they rushed through my entire body. I ran hot, but Bella's touch pushed me to the boiling point. There was no way I could react, or she'd be scared away.

We stayed suspended for an unrecognizable time. Our eyes connected, and neither of us looked away. We didn't even blink. Bella was the first to speak after a long exhale. "It's still so easy between us, isn't it?"

Bella spoke of a past between us that ran deeper than our-dads-have-been-friends-forever. I searched my memory for echoes of her musings but found nothing—just blank spaces, where the answers should have been. Still, when I tried to untangle my feelings for her, there was this pull, fierce and unrelenting, dragging me toward something familiar, something I couldn't name. It felt like my heart had already lived it, even if my mind couldn't remember. After months of speculating with Dad, Old Quil, and the tribal elders, I gave up the search for logic. Maybe there wasn't one. Bells and I weren't about reason—we were a story written long before either of us realized it.

When she let go, I circled back to her concerns about Charlie's financial burdens. The conversation felt too heavy, so I steered it away from things that upset her. "Quil is not going to charge Charlie. He's coming over to do some meal preps as a favor to your family and he'll be on his best behavior."

"That's so generous. I doubt we'll need him for long. I'm pretty sure once I get back in the kitchen, it'll all come back to me. Cooking helped me decompress after school. I haven't thought much about it, but I think I miss it."

"That's good. Tell your occupational therapist you want that in your goals. I'm not sure who the agency will assign for OT, but everyone there has a great reputation."

Bella covered her face. "Oh no, why is this the first time I've thought about this?"

"What?" I still thought we were talking about therapy or the home health agency. Maybe Bella was nervous about meeting new people.

Her declaration was the last thing I expected. "I'm a high school dropout! The repercussions of this coma never end."

Relief swirled through me. It hadn't been anything I said, just her overwhelm that life moved on without her. "Bells, come on. You're not a dropout."

She held her arms out and pointed to the lack of personal achievements in the room. "I don't see a diploma on the wall. Look at you, you're younger than me and already a college graduate. Who knows what all my classmates have accomplished by now? Degrees, marriages, mortgages, and even children." Her despair returned.

I didn't mince words. Part of my protective nature included honesty. "Jeez Bella, it's four years, not four decades. Few young twenty-year-olds have all of life figured out, and I have a community college degree, not a doctorate."

"Don't downplay your accomplishments." She scolded me. "Dad brags on you nonstop. You have a lot of responsibilities."

"I'm not and I do. I'm just warning you about comparing yourself because it's not fair to you. Who knows what all you would have accomplished by now if you were never hit by Tyler's van? All those circumstances were out of your control."

Her eyes moved to her lap. "You wouldn't like me if the accident never happened."

"Huh?"

"Never mind. I'm kind of tired. Thanks for the feast. Can you tell my parents that I'm going to take a nap?"

"Sure, sure, but I promise you that I would still like you no matter what, even though I don't believe in what ifs."

Bella stared past me, out the large window. Her voice faded as if she were withdrawing from the situation emotionally. "Just because you don't believe in what if scenarios, Jacob, doesn't mean they're not possible." Bella turned away from me and switched off her bedside lamp. She lay down which was my cue to leave, but I heard one last confusing whisper from her. "I suppose that's a discussion for another day."

~Thanks so much for following along with this crazy muse of mine. I think the building stage is finally complete. Hoping the next few chapters will reveal a bit more to you. ;)