Chapter 8: The Strongest Couple
"I was almost attacked by the Hero Hunter yesterday!" Director Zeimeet exclaimed.
"We know, Director Zeimeet." An elderly executive said. "But you were unharmed, yes?"
"Of course- but that's only because King was there! Who knows what could've happened if he wasn't there?!"
"Well, maybe the Hero Hunter's target was King himself? There's no evidence that his main target was you, Director."
"Even so, he's still dangerous! Who knows what he'll get up to out there!"
"What do you mean? Did King fail to apprehend the Hero Hunter?" Another executive asked. "Was even King having trouble with the Hero Hunter?"
"No, that's impossible. I was there when King and the Hero Hunter engaged in combat. King seemed to not have any trouble with him." Director Zeimeet said. "But, he was crafty enough to try to take me hostage! He prevented King from using his ability by going next to me! If King had used his power, I'd have turned into a flat paste!"
"He must've done something similar, like taking another civilian hostage." An executive suggested. "That might be why King didn't apprehend him. The Hero Hunter must've used some cowardly tactic to escape."
"Exactly! While King would've easily defeated that guy, we have to take into account that the Hero Hunter is a crafty one! And even without those tricks, he took down Tank Top Master and the Tank Topper army alone!" Director Zeimeet exclaimed.
"Well, your safety and the safety of the other executives are paramount, Director Zeimeet." An executive said, pandering to the director. "All executives should stay indoors whenever possible, and when going out, they need to be accompanied by an S-Class Hero."
"That's a good idea. Even if the Hero Hunter shows up again, we can at least make our escape." Director Zeimeet said.
"It's settled, then. Put out a memo for the others." Another executive said finally.
"Well, with that out of the way... we have another issue." Director Zeimeet said seriously.
"What is it?"
"Yesterday, while I was going out, before the Hero Hunter attacked us, I ran into King."
"We know this, Director Zeimeet. Where is this going?"
"Well, I went out with some 'entertainment'..."
"..." "..." "..."
"Hey, don't judge me! Being a liaison to our sponsors isn't as easy as it looks, I deserve my down time, alright?!"
"We're not doing anything of the sort, Director. Please, continue."
"Well, while we were chatting, it came up that King was there to meet with Tatsumaki."
"Meeting Tatsumaki? Were they planning on working together for some missions?"
"No... King went out with Tatsumaki... for dinner."
"..." "..." "..."
The table went silent.
"Tatsumaki and King... what would their children look like?" An executive thought out loud.
"That's too far, no?!" Director Zeimeet reacted. "I mean, I was thinking of something similar, but still!"
"That doesn't change the facts. While heroes can do anything they want in their private life, romance between our S-Class Heroes, especially the Rank 2 and Rank 7 S-Classes..." Another executive started. "This is something we can't just let out as is."
"Are we certain that's how this is going?" One executive asked. "It might've been for a formal occasion, like, meeting with each other to discuss a collaboration between the two? Maybe a commercial starring the both of them?"
"No. Yesterday, when I was out and met with King, I floated the idea that it might be some joint heroic activity, but King shot it down himself, saying that it was for 'leisure'."
At that, the majority of the board came to one single conclusion.
" " "...Yep, they're in a relationship." " "
"...So, how are we going to broach this?" Director Zeimeet started.
"I say we keep this on the down low. Whatever people say online, as long as we don't respond, they'll think it's just some wild rumors." An executive said. "After all, there's no shortage of wild theories on the internet. Rumors circulate whenever and wherever, and even if it only spreads from word-of-mouth, are people really going to trust the word of an escort?"
"One escort? No. Multiple escorts? There may be some truth to the matter."
"Psh. Any old broad can say anything. Remember that case we had to handle because there were some old former escorts claiming to have slept with Silver Fang in his youth? Preposterous! He doesn't seem like the type anyway- they were probably just some old has-beens trying to stir up drama to attract attention!" The elderly executive said.
"But we still paid them for their silence, no? Even if they were just wild statements with no proof backing them, there are some statements that have impact, regardless of veracity." Another executive said.
"What about this one?" One executive asked. "While the case of Silver Fang and those women's wild claims can be easily dismissed with a thought, this one seems plausible, even to the average person."
"Plausible? I don't think Tatsumaki's the type to settle down with someone. She's a handful as a hero already- how much of a handful would she be as a partner?"
"Well, King is the Strongest Man on Earth. Perhaps she likes the strong, silent, type?"
"Are we even sure we're not jumping the gun? All King said was it was for 'leisure'- they might just have gone out as coworkers. Even if they're closer, it might just be a platonic relationship?" One executive suggested.
"Still, before we think about how the public would react... we should wonder how we would react to this." Another executive said.
"That's true. Perhaps it isn't such a big deal now, but what if some of our other heroes get some ideas? If things go the wrong way, we might get a trend of heroes dating each other!"
"That might be something to make our heroes more approachable, and more chances for advertising... but at the same time, relationships between heroes can be taken advantage of by nefarious parties."
"No, wait, it might not be that kind of relationship. It could be platonic-"
"That's a good point! We could launch a new marketing wave! We're running low on people applying to be heroes, right? If we can publicize this, we might get a wave of new applicants trying their luck! If we tacitly approve of heroes in relationships, we could create a new trend! A trend of people becoming heroes for the sake of getting into a relationship! The more heroes, the better, right?!"
"No, it's not! We've no shortage of people applying to be heroes; we need quality! We're the Heroes Association, not the Hookup Association! If we want to use this; it's better to just make an official partners program, and register both King and Tatsumaki as partners! For heroes that don't want to be in a group, but want to work with someone- or have an existing hero partner, have it be supported! If they get into a relationship after, that'll be none of our business!"
"But think of the merchandise we can sell if we take the initiative! Not to mention brand-deals, shows, or even movies! That'd be a novel idea- two heroes working together, who slowly become partners they can trust with their life! I've had enough of Sweet Mask hogging all the spotlight- we need to make a move to diversify our PR stars!"
"Again, guys, this might not even be a romantic relationship. It might just be platonic-"
"Bah, humbug! We need to stop these things from happening!" The elderly executive interrupted. "The Heroes Association has professional heroes! Our heroes are our employees, think of the HR nightmare this'll be if they all get into relationships! We don't need that drama, we need-"
"Nonsense! Are you saying our heroes aren't functioning, informed adults?!" Another, younger executive cut in. "They can do whatever they want! We just need to make sure that-"
"Uh, guys, platonic relationships are a real thing-"
"That's a stupid idea! We shouldn't let our assets get into problems like-"
"Shut up, old geezer, you're stupid! We need fresh ideas! I'm not gonna let this opportunity escape-"
"What did you say to me, you punk-"
"YOU HEARD ME YOU OLD FUC-"
As the room descended into chaos, one executive meekly raised his hand, to the notice of absolutely no one.
"...Um, it could be... a platonic relationship, you guys..."
No one heard him.
Tatsumaki blinked as she read some tabloids on her phone. Every now and then, she perused some magazine tabloids online to see what fresh nonsense was being peddled. She'd seen enough 'doomsday news' and 'shocking facts' from this section that never came to fruition or led to nowhere that she merely read them to see what was being taken out of hand this time.
However, a specific headline caught her attention.
"King dating Tatsumaki, S-Class hero romance, 'Dinner for leisure'..."
At that, Tatsumaki chuckled.
"So that's what they're running with. What, I go out for dinner with a colleague that's actually competent and worth my time, and they're saying there's 'budding romance'? What next, if they see that baldy with King, are they going to say he's his disciple, or something?"
Tatsumaki then closed the tabloid to see other entertaining articles, like 'doomsday warning oarfish spotted near City M, experts say earthquake or tsunami imminent', 'top 10 brain foods, supported by Child Emperor', and 'you won't believe Atomic Samurai's diet to perfect swordsmanship', but as she read on, the idea was still stuck in her mind, like a remora on a shark.
"Romance with King, huh..."
"I'm not a fan of romance, but the idea of just dating him doesn't seem too bad..."
"I mean, I hate guys who are weak but act like they're strong, but King's actually strong..."
"He's not a traditionally handsome guy, but at the same time, Sweet Mask's traditionally handsome, and I hate his guts..."
"He's a competent person, too. He knew when the alien ship was going to launch attacks at the other buffoons fighting one small fry, though that was more his 'contact' giving him a heads up..."
As Tatsumaki thought more about it, she realized that there wasn't really any downside to actually getting into a relationship with King.
Not to mention, he wasn't just some boring archetype of a 'stoic, no-nonsense, paragon of justice' that she once thought he was, there was actually a personality behind all that power. His past was also quite interesting, she could never have imagined him as a delinquent (granted, he claimed he was essentially forced into the role) before he told her that story.
And, he had good taste...
"You know what? This might actually be fun." Tatsumaki smirked, and flew off.
"...Say, King. Do S-Classes really get paid a lot?" Saitama asked, while playing a fighting game with King.
"Yeah. While various S-Classes also have other streams of income, like royalties from books and licensing fees for using their appearance to make merchandise, even the base pay is comparable to the average pay of the CEO of a large company."
"...Hmm."
"Reconsidering my offer to bump you up to S-Class?"
"...I won't lie, it's actually tempting. But, I think I'll still try to climb up on my own." Saitama said. "If S-Class pay is really that high, I'll just pay you back myself once I get to S-Class."
"That's a valid option." King shrugged. "Again, you don't have to pay me back, but it's up to you."
"It's the principle behind it. I don't wanna just mooch off you because I can, that'd make me a freeloader." Saitama said.
"Well, that's fair." King shrugged.
As the two continued playing the fighting game, the outcome was long since decided. King won, with not a hit on his character.
Saitama sighed.
"Man, I once thought being too strong would be boring- since I only end my fights in one punch. But being beaten up without even landing a hit seems equally dull, now."
"Again, you should be using your other moves when playing-"
The sliding door to King's balcony opened. Tatsumaki stood there.
King: "Oh, hey, Tatsumaki. What're you-"
Tatsumaki: "Go out with me."
King: "Sure."
Saitama blinked. "Wait, what?"
"Hmm, what about it, Saitama?" King asked, seemingly puzzled at Saitama's reaction. "She wants to go out, and I don't see a problem with that-"
"No, no, no, no, no, hang on. This seems wrong."
"How so?"
"Isn't she..." Saitama looked at Tatsumaki. "...a kid?"
Tatsumaki's eye twitched. "Why you-"
"Oh, that. No, we're roughly the same age, actually. She's 28, I'm 29."
Saitama blinked twice.
"...She's 28? You mean, she's older than me?"
"That's right, baldy, respect your elders!" Tatsumaki said smugly.
"I mean, even if she's not a kid... how'd you come to the decision to go out with her so quickly? Isn't that something you usually take more time to consider?"
"Well, it's not like there's anything that comes to mind that'll put me against it." King said. "She's strong, so there's no chance of anyone taking her hostage to use against me, like that time in high-school."
"Damn right." Tatsumaki said proudly. "I'd dare them to try, I'd flatten them in an instant."
Tatsumaki then blinked.
"Wait, what about 'that time in high-school'?"
"Oh, back in high-school, there was this one girl that wanted to go out with me. I didn't particularly care about it at the time, so I agreed to it." King explained. "Word got out, and certain malicious groups targeted her to get to me."
King then shrugged. "It became more trouble than it was worth, so I broke up with her. Before we did, I taught her a few self-defense moves just in case, and had some subordinates watch over her."
"Well, you don't need to teach me anything. I'm strong already." Tatsumaki said.
"...What, that's it? She's strong, so you're going out with her?" Saitama asked.
"Again, I don't see any downside to it." King said. "Still, what made you want to do this anyway, Tatsumaki?" King asked, turning to look at the esper.
"Well, I read one tabloid someone wrote about us being in a relationship. They saw us having dinner, and apparently thought we were going out."
"I had a laugh, then thought about it, and realized it might be fun." Tatsumaki said.
"I see." King said.
"..." "..." "..."
"...So, now what?" Saitama asked, breaking the awkward silence.
"Oh, right. You want a gift or something?" King asked. "To commemorate this moment, make it official, or whatever."
"Oh, yeah, that's a thing people do. Sure, what're you getting me?"
"I have this necklace." King said, snapping his fingers, and pulling out a black pearl necklace from a small portal.
Tatsumaki blinked. "What's that?"
"This necklace is something I got from a-"
"No, not that. I meant that portal. Where'd you get that necklace from?" Tatsumaki pointed at the small portal that King took out the necklace from.
"Oh, it's my King Space. I keep my stuff in there." King nonchalantly mentioned, snapping his fingers to close up his King Space.
"Anyway, I got this necklace from some fortune teller I saved from a monster. The pearls go from black to red if you're thinking about to doing something you'll regret, and they go from black to green when you're thinking about doing something you'll be grateful for."
"It can do that?" Tatsumaki skeptically raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah. I tested it. I wore it while buying some stocks. It went red when I was about to buy stocks from certain companies, and green when I was about to buy stocks from some other companies. A month later, those companies that the pearls went red on went bankrupt, and their stocks became worthless. The companies that the pearls went green on shot up in value, some even ten times the price I bought them for."
Saitama's eyes widened at that explanation.
"Hey, uh, King..."
"No, I didn't get another one."
"Aw, man."
King then gave Tatsumaki the necklace.
"Oh, pretty cool~" Tatsumaki looked at it. The pearls briefly became red, then went back to black. Tatsumaki looked more impressed.
"Huh, why'd that happen?" King asked. "What were you thinking of?"
"Oh, I was testing it, myself. I was thinking of 'sell my house and invest the money into crypto'."
"...That'd be something you'd regret, yeah." King deadpanned.
"Well, it seemed farfetched that a necklace can do something like that, so I just wanted to test it." Tatsumaki shrugged.
"Fair point."
"Hmm, I didn't get anything for you though..." Tatsumaki said aloud. "What kind of things do you like, King?"
King placed a hand on his chin, thinking about it.
"I dunno... there's nothing in particular that I enjoy." King said. "Apart from videogames."
Tatsumaki turned to look at the game console, and the fighting game on the TV screen. "Huh, you play videogames?"
"Yeah. It's a hobby of mine."
"Huh. Well, your profile on the Heroes Association catalogue said you enjoyed 'training in the mountains', so I thought it'd be something else, like meditation, or enjoying nature."
"Oh, right, that." King said. "When they asked, I said my hobbies were videogames at first, but the execs at the Heroes Association asked if there were any other hobbies that sounded more... dignified."
"Ah, yeah, that sounds like the executives, alright." Tatsumaki said, nodding.
"I mean, it's not like I don't enjoy a good nature walk. It's just that I'd rather play videogames, but if I don't have anything interesting to play, I'll go out for a walk by some nature. It's quiet and peaceful, especially because there aren't any crowds, or potential fans that'll recognize me." King continued.
"Yeah, I get disliking crowds. Still, it'd be easier to tell them to just buzz off, wouldn't it?" Tatsumaki said.
"Eh, it's not like they did anything wrong." King said. "They just want to meet a hero; and while I don't fault them for that, it's just annoying when that hero is me."
"What, don't tell me you care what people think." Tatsumaki said, placing her hands on her hips. "Assert yourself! Tell them to leave you alone if you don't want them to bother you!"
"I do, when it gets too much. Otherwise, it's easier to just wear a disguise. A hoodie, a mask, and sunglasses, and people won't give you a second glance."
"Well, I suppose it's your choice." Tatsumaki said. "Anyway, back to the topic. To save some time, just respond with the first thing you think of. A good gift you'd like, go."
"A fun and interesting videogame. Or just something interesting in general. Something I've never seen before is probably a good start." King said.
"Got it. I'll keep an eye out for something like that." Tatsumaki said, before flying off again.
Saitama squinted his eyes at King.
"What?"
"...It's just... I dunno. It's none of my business, since it's not my relationship to comment on, but... that didn't seem like an ordinary interaction between people in a relationship. Seems more like some buddies casually hanging out."
"Well, neither me nor Tatsumaki are exactly normal, you know?" King said. "And formality isn't exactly our thing. I'd prefer it casual, and she seems to prefer it casual, too."
"Then why even go out together? Just stay friends until feelings appear. Then get into a relationship."
"Well, you have a point, but I don't see any reason to need to wait for 'feelings' to appear before I get into a relationship." King said. "Why wait for that to appear? Just starting the relationship with her now might seem more fun."
"...Usually, normal people don't get into relationships just because 'it'd be fun', you know?" Saitama commented.
"By the way, you said you were kind of interested in martial arts, right?" King asked, changing the topic.
"Yeah. Why?"
"The Super Fight's later today, I think. Do you wanna go watch, or..."
"Yeah. Sure. Not like I've anything better to do today, anyway."
"Right. Let's go, then."
"I will accompany you, Master Saitama." Genos said.
Both Saitama and King turned to look at him.
"...Dude, when did you get here?" Saitama asked.
"I just arrived, Master Saitama. I was about to report to you that your mission of 'cleaning up the house' has been accomplished." Genos reported.
King then squinted his eyes at Saitama.
"...You're not willing to freeload off me, but you're willing to get Genos to clean up your home?"
"...Let's just go to the Super Fight." Saitama refused to answer the question.
[The Super Fight arena...]
"It's 50,000 yen per ticket, and with a 20% discount for first-time attendees, that's 40,000 yen per ticket, so your total's 120,000 yen for three tickets."
"Here you go." King, in disguise, gave the clerk twelve 10,000 yen bills.
As Saitama, King, and Genos walked to their seats, King noticed Saitama jittering.
"...Look, it's a world-famous martial arts tournament. It's to be expected."
"120,000 yen... 120,000 yen..."
King sighed, before clapping Saitama on the back.
"Cheer up. With your power, you'll be S-Class before long. By that time, you'll be paid so much you'll start to stop caring about money, too."
Saitama made a face, before acknowledging it.
"Yeah, yeah. It won't stop me from recognizing how much money it is right now, though."
"Don't worry, Master Saitama. I will pay you your ticket fees once this event is over."
"That makes me feel worse! I didn't even pay for it!" Saitama exclaimed.
"Ah, whatever. Let's go take our seats." King said.
As the walked through the stands, some people made looks at Saitama in his costume, some recognized Genos as an S-Class hero, though no one seemed to give a second glance to King.
They then took their seats, and right on cue, the announcer on stage got on the mic.
"Dear guests, sorry for keeping you waiting! The 22nd Super Fight is officially underway! Let us welcome our contestants!"
The martial artists then walked out from a corridor onto the ring.
Before the announcer properly introduced who the contestants were, both King and Saitama recognized someone in the lineup.
"...Is that Charanko?" King blinked.
"I think so." Saitama said. "Wasn't he hospitalized?"
"...That guy in the ring probably gave him one of his 'internal arts' that helps heal quickly, or something. But I didn't think he'd heal in just one day." King said. "If I get any news that they're up to no good, I'm getting rid of that guy."
"It's probably fine. Chako didn't seem like a bad guy."
"Charanko's probably fine, but that guy in the ring isn't exactly 'model citizen' material. Also, his name's Charanko, not Chako."
"Yeah, whatever."
"It seems there are other heroes participating as well." Genos said. "Those two are Lightning Max and 'Biting Snake Fist' Sneck."
"Oh, you recognize other heroes?" Saitama asked Genos.
"I have access to the Heroes Association database. I recognize all heroes currently registered in the association." Genos responded.
"Well, that's convenient." King said.
"Oh, cool. Are they strong?" Saitama asked.
"That depends. Compared to an ordinary person? Yes. Compared to the other martial artists in the arena? Yes, but some are stronger. Compared to the three of us? Well..." King trailed off.
"Got it. So, more of the same, then." Saitama casually finished.
"Pretty much." King shrugged.
The announcer then officially introduced the contestants.
"It's his first entry! The man who is ranked 19th amongst the A-Class heroes, who they call 'Lightning Max'! Can he perform his explosive kicks even in this arena?! 'Hyper Karate' Max!"
"A beauty that stands out! Her lightning fast moves is like a work of art! It's been rumored she stands at the top of female martial artists! 'Palm Bell Fist' Lin Lin!"
"The Harsh Path Clan who has made a name of crushing other dojos has finally decided to make a debut! This man will surely cause a storm! 'Harsh Path Style' Benpatsu!"
As the announcer continued his introduction of the martial artists, King got up from his seat.
"Where you going?" Saitama asked.
"I'm going to get a snack. Want anything?" King asked.
"A hotdog sounds nice."
"Sure thing. Genos, how about you?"
"I'm not hungry, King."
"Alright. I'll be back in a bit." King said, before leaving.
As the introductions continued, Genos noted some contestants.
"The strongest man in the history of Super Fight, who has won twice in the past! However! What makes him terrifying is that every fight of his ended up as one-sided beatdowns! It's cruel beyond words!"
"He has definitely had some tough competition, but it's a fact that he still hasn't shown what he's really capable of! The man they call 'Oni', 'Dark Hell Assassination' Bakuzan!"
"This man is strong." Genos said.
"Yeah. He looks strong, too." Saitama commented.
"And now... he who carries strength like no other, after 7 tournaments, he is finally back! A legend who's won 4 consecutive tournaments!"
At that mention, the crowd itself seemed to work itself up.
"'Void Fist', Suiryu!"
"Hey, hey~" The man nonchalantly waved to the crowd. "Ah, that girl's cute."
"It was rumored he was travelling for the past 3 years... and he even told us that he's only after the prize money this time, as well! Not caring about name or rank is what makes him strong."
"However! Bakuzan is participating this time as well! We could assume that if these two meet in the final, it's gonna be one hell of a clash!"
"I'm back." King appeared. "What'd I miss?"
"Oh, nothing much. You just- woah." Saitama's eyes widened.
"Here's your hotdog."
Saitama grabbed the hotdog, but his eyes were fixed on the 10-gallon bucket of fried goods in King's hands.
"What, want some?" King asked. "I can share, no issue with that."
"...King. What's that?"
"Oh, it's their 10-Gallon Supermassive Snack Bucket." King said. "It's fries, cocktail hotdogs, cheese-potato croquettes, fried chicken, and other fried goods in here."
While people weren't giving King in his disguise a second-glance earlier, they were definitely glancing at King's supermassive snack bucket now.
Ignoring the gazes on him, King sat down, and started snacking.
Saitama blinked twice, looked at his one hotdog, and sighed.
"...I know it's not a competition, but man, I feel inadequate."
At that statement, Genos perked up.
"I'll shall procure the snack bucket for us, Master Saitama!"
"No, no, don't do that! I don't know if I can even eat that much!" Saitama stopped his disciple.
[In the corridors of the Super Fight arena...]
"Deep breaths, deep breaths... I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine..."
"Hey, Sour Face Senpai, we don't have to be nervous; making it here is already something most martial artists dream of! Even if we get knocked out in the first round, as long as we've done our best, that's good enough!" Charanko said, trying to pep up his senior.
"Tsk, shut up, Charanko! Even if this is the biggest stage for martial arts, as alumni of Master Bang, we can't be seen losing in the first round! It'd be too humiliating- hey, wait, you're way more nervous than me, aren't you?! Your legs are literally quaking!"
As though waiting for someone to comment on it, Charanko's voice followed his legs in trembling. "W-w-w-w-what d-d-d-do you m-mean, Senpai? I-I-I'm as c-c-calm as a c-cucumber!"
"That's an abject lie and anyone can tell from just your appearance!"
"Hey, you!" Another voice called from the other side of the corridor. It was another contestant, Zakos.
"I wanted to meet with my opponent before the round started, but you're an amateur, aren't you?" Zakos pointed at Charanko. "I expected more from the Water-Stream Rock Crushing Fist's representative, but this is just pathetic. It's clear how much the level has dropped."
"Why you-" Sour Face wanted to start, but Charanko got there first.
"Hey, you take that back! I know I'm not the best martial artist, but don't you look down on the Water-Stream Rock Smashing Fist!"
Slightly taken aback by Charanko's heated response, Zakos recomposed himself.
"So, at least you know your place. Hmph, I will admit- the Water-Stream Rock Smashing Fist is an amazing martial art. The founder is even known as 'The Greatest Treasure of Martial Arts'. But even he's getting old, it seems. He's abandoned his dojo for so-called hero activities, living in his own world."
"How dare you..." Even Sour-Face was getting angered. "I'm not taking that lying down. I may run my own dojo now, but as the former Rank 2 of the Water-Stream Rock Smashing Fist, if we ever meet in the arena, I'll show you what happens when you look down on Master Bang!"
"Such talk, coming from a coward that left his master's dojo." Zakos remarked. "Anyway, you better watch out. I won't hold back in our match."
The two martial artists stood there, silent. At least, they weren't nervous, anymore.
"...I don't expect you to get far, Charanko. But don't you dare lose face for Master Bang." Sour Face said.
"I know, Senpai. I may not be able to win against him, but I'll show him just what this 'top-disciple' can do."
"You'd better, Charanko." Sour Face said, before walking away.
As Sour Face walked away, out of sight, Charanko exhaled a breath he was holding, before leaning against the wall, breathing nervously.
"I talked all that smack, but- gah! I shouldn't have come here!"
The apparition from the ring appeared.
"What're you talking about? This is the perfect opportunity to hone yourself. A blade only shows its true edge in combat." The apparition said. "Not to mention; you have an advantage over him. As long as you can stay conscious throughout the fight, you'll gain the victory in the end."
"Yeah... yeah, that's true." Charanko said, straightening up. "I don't have to win... I just have to last long enough."
Charanko took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. Repeating this process thrice, calm washed over Charanko.
"Wow, this breathing technique really works! What's it called, again?"
"...It's just taking deep breaths. It's not a technique." The apparition deadpanned.
[The Super Fight arena...]
"I wonder how Charanko will do in his fight." Saitama wondered aloud.
"From my brief interaction with him, Charanko was weak. He is likely to lose his first fight." Genos commented.
"Well, If it was just him, I'd agree. But with that guy helping him out, I'd say he has a good chance of winning." King said.
"Who are you talking about, King?" Genos asked.
"Oh. Me and Saitama met Charanko in the hospital some time ago. He was still injured, but I gave him a ring with the soul of a martial artist from another world in it." King explained. "He has some way to help Charanko heal faster; which is why Charanko's here and not still in the hospital, and with him helping Charanko during the fight, he should be fine."
"Is that so... then I will reassess Charanko based on his performance in his fight."
"Mhm. Anyway, the first fight's starting." King said.
"Alright! Let's get us started with the first round! Max versus Lin Lin!"
The A-Class hero and the female martial artist took their stance.
"Get ready... start!"
[Somewhere else, a different city...]
Three heroes were knocked back by humanoid monster.
"Just one swipe of her whip has enough force to blow away several of us... for a humanoid monster, she's strong!" Another hero wearing an explosive-themed costume said nervously.
The humanoid monster smacked her whip once more.
"Heart Hard Hit!" The monster named her move. "You're out of your mind, if you thought you could take me, Do-S, on!"
"Hey, get a grip, Darkness Blade!" The remaining hero tried to wake another hero that was knocked back by the whip.
"Ufufufufu! How pathetic, you imbecilic heroes! Whoever get hit by my whip's special stimulants gets turned into my mindless love slaves! Now... wake up, my love slaves!" Do-S exclaimed. "If you wish for more of my love, then offer me your life! Fight until you die!"
The hero the conscious hero tried to wake up, Darkness Blade's facial features contorted into one of rage, and he punched the explosive-themed hero.
"She's making us fight each other?! Stop! Wake up, you guys!" The explosive-themed hero tried to bring his fellow heroes back to reason, but to no avail. They didn't seem to react to his words at all.
As they lunged towards the hero, the controlled heroes were suddenly assaulted by another group of people wearing black suits.
"Black suits?! You are..."
"Oh, my? So many potential love slaves lining up for me... Ufufufufu..." Do-S said, before brandishing her whip once more. "I'm tingling with excitement!"
But before the whip could hit the people in black suits, it was stopped mid-air.
"I can stop the whip with my telekinesis just fine. A level 'Demon' like this is like a gift."
"Beating you will release them from their brainwashing, am I right?" Fubuki said, strutting towards Do-S confidently. "A trivial task that makes other heroes owe me a favor... it's killing two birds with one stone."
"The Blizzard Group!" The explosive-themed hero said, recognizing the famous B-Class hero faction.
"You can't get out of this one. Saitama's not here now, so the credits are definitely going to the Blizzard Group this time." Fubuki said confidently.
"Aaaah, don't tease my inner sadist so much~" Do-S said sensually. "I might kill you too quickly if you excite me this much~"
[The Super Fight arena...]
"Contestant Max K.O'ed contestant Lin Lin without any trouble!"
"People were skeptical of a professional hero's capability as a martial artist, and he was even put in as a reverse seed, but he succeeded without a scratch!" The announcer exclaimed. "However, the rough treatment he gave to Lin Lin seems to be causing some booing."
"Hmm, not bad." King said.
"...When you say 'not bad', did you mean the match was not bad, or the Supermassive Snack Bucket is not bad?" Saitama eyed the 10-gallon bucket that was now a third empty. And they were on the first match.
"...King's appetite is quite strong, isn't it, Master Saitama?" Genos commented, whispering to Saitama.
"Damn right. That one time we went to a diner to play videogames, he ordered so much food that we thought he was gonna take some back. He finished the whole thing and didn't show a sign of him being full at all." Saitama responded in a half-whisper.
"Oh, look. It's Charanko's turn." King pointed out.
Charanko and Zakos then stepped onto the arena, preparing for their fight.
All the way up, Charanko kept doing deep breaths. Zakos, noticing this, sneered.
"No amount of breathing is going to make up for your lack of skill, amateur." Zakos said. "I've already said this- but I'm not going to hold back on you at all."
Charanko didn't respond, only breathing in and out.
[Flashback, one day ago...]
"So, how am I going to heal up enough in time to make it to the Super Fight?" Charanko asked. "There's no way I can fight in this condition."
"With an internal art." The apparition said. "An interesting opponent from before I walked the path of the emperor created this circulation technique that directly converted your stored energy reserves into healing speed. Which means, if you were to consume a large amount of food, you could swiftly heal your wounds."
"Woah, really?! How's that work?"
"I'll just show you directly. Let me control your body, and I'll perform the breathing motion for you." The apparition said.
Charanko eyed the apparition suspiciously.
"...You know that I'm only perfunctorily asking, right? I can enter whenever I want; the fact that I'm asking you to begin with is just how much I'm willing to respect your will."
"...Fine, go ahead." Charanko relented.
The apparition entered through Charanko's forehead, and Charanko started breathing in a certain way. Despite him handing over controls to the apparition, Charanko could still feel his body.
And it was painful. Like, almost as painful as when he got beat up by Garou.
But, he could feel his body getting better. His broken arms and legs were healing, his internal organs were getting better (even though he had no idea how he could tell), even the painful breathing was getting easier after a while.
After a few more minutes, Charanko could tell- he was almost completely healed up.
"There. Do you remember how to do it, now?" The apparition asked after exiting Charanko's body.
"...I think so. Let me try..." Charanko said, attempting to replicate what he felt.
Breathe in. Stretch back muscles. Circulate the air in the lungs (he didn't know how he was doing that, other than just copying what that guy did apparently did that?). Use air to pull energy from his reserves (he understood energy in his fats and muscles, but why was there a large amount of energy in his liver?). Push energy to injured parts. Exhale completely. Repeat.
The remaining injuries the apparition didn't fully heal started to heal up, and in 30 seconds, Charanko was completely healed.
"...Woah, this is amazing!" Charanko said.
*grumble*
"...I'm hungry. Like, really hungry." Charanko stated.
"Well, you were using your internal reserves of energy. Your injuries weren't life-threatening, but they definitely needed a lot of energy to heal. That Garou did a number on you, after all. Once your internal reserves are spent, one would easily go hungry as a result." The apparition answered. "Thankfully, you have some fruits there."
Charanko started eating the fruits, and after a while, he finished it all.
"Well, even if you're healed, you definitely wouldn't be skilled enough to take on a skilled martial artist. You definitely aren't first rate, you're nowhere near second rate, you aren't even third rate. You're an amateur, through and through. However, if you let me control your body, I can more than easily breeze through this tournament. I just want you to take notes on how-"
"...Hey, that 'internal art' you just used..." Charanko interrupted the apparition, seemingly thinking of something else.
"Don't interrupt me, boy! Like I said, I'll take over your body and fight in the tournament for you. All you have to do is take notes and-"
"Is there an internal art that converts food into 'internal energy'?"
"...I see what you're getting at. Yes, there's a variation of the same internal art that can convert food into internal energy, but I don't think you can afford such a large amount of food to store enough internal energy to change the outcome of any fight you take."
"Actually..." Charanko pulled out a coupon.
"I never thought I'd use it, but this all-you-can-eat buffet coupon I won from a raffle might just come in handy..."
[Flashback end...]
"To think this world is so prosperous that endless feasts can be provided to anyone, even commoners. You even needed to use the Nine Dragons Energy Condensation art to store all that energy without ballooning your body to preposterous sizes." The apparition said in Charanko's mind. "Still, you're just an amateur in combat. There's only so much you can do, even with your body in 'peak condition'. The only way for you to keep yourself in the fight would be to continuously use your store of internal energy to heal yourself. If you still want to stubbornly hold on to your pride, go ahead and get thrashed by this greenhorn. Once you give up and accept my help, you just need to follow my lead."
Charanko ignored the apparition's comments, and focused on Zakos.
He knew. He knew that he wasn't a competent martial artist by any measure. Before everyone left the dojo, Charanko was the lowest-ranked disciple in Bang's dojo. But by sheer happenstance, he became the 'top disciple' after everyone else left from Garou's rampage.
Still, he did learn a thing or two after all that time in the dojo. Master Bang was just much too skillful for him to show anything he learnt. But now, it was time to really show-
"Fight!" The referee started the match.
Zakos rushed towards Charanko, rapidly closing the gap.
"Holy crap, he's fast!"
Overwhelmed by the rush of attacks, Charanko used what he knew of the Water-Stream Rock Smashing Fist to divert some of the blows away, but a good amount of them were still landing on him.
"Ouch, he hits hard, too!"
After a brief moment, Charanko was knocked back a distance from Zakos's kick.
"Ohhhh! Contestant Zakos is overwhelming Charanko! After six first-round losses, is this finally going to be Zakos's first win?!" The announcer exclaimed.
"...Hmph, so you have some skill, after all." Zakos remarked. "But against me... you have no hope of winning!"
"Wait, I'm not rea-"
Charanko barely dodged out of the way of Zakos's second rush.
"Running away? Tch, a shame for a martial artist. Still, it's only reasonable. Against a more skilled opponent, the best thing to do is run. Unfortunately..."
Zakos turned fluidly to face Charanko once more, who wasn't in any state to defend.
"The Head-First Rushing Style is the perfect counter against that!"
Weathering the flurry of blows, Charanko barely kept himself conscious after that rush.
As Charanko breathed deeply, circulating his internal energy to heal his wounds, he still struggled to stand, as Zakos simply walked towards him.
"It looks like this is a done deal! Seventh time's the charm for Zakos, there's no way Charanko's winning this one!" The announcer said.
"Give up. I'll admit- there's some level of skill to you. Unfortunately, you were against me." Zakos said. "Be grateful that you can ring in my first-ever victory. And with this victory..."
Zakos pointed towards the sky.
"I will use my victory to propose to my girlfriend!"
"..."
Charanko started breathing in more deeply, and more frequently.
"Ah, it's perfect. After such intense training, my efforts will finally pay off, and my girlfriend will-"
Suddenly, after a few deep breaths, Charanko rushed towards Zakos.
"What the-"
Zakos defended against the sudden rush of blows, but he didn't seem to be weathering it well.
With a push kick, Zakos managed to get Charanko away from him.
"Ohhh?! It looks like Charanko's gotten a second wind! What's the reason behind this?!" The announcer said, equally as surprised as Zakos over the vigor and initiative Charanko suddenly just showed.
"There's no way in hell..." Charanko started.
"Huh?"
"THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL I'M LOSING TO YOU JUST SO YOU CAN PROPOSE, DAMMIT!" Charanko yelled, before rushing in like a madman. "I'M NOT LETTING YOU BEAT ME AND GET MARRIED AT THE SAME TIME!"
In the jade ring, the apparition was dumbfounded.
"I've seen many ways people pull out their latent potential in a fight, but this is the first time I've seen someone pull it out because of... pettiness."
"Tsk!" Zakos prepared himself better for the second rush, but he was still getting pushed back by Charanko.
"Damn! I don't think he's figured it out, but the Head-First Rushing Style's weakness is being rushed itself!" Zakos thought. Calming himself, he was a little injured, but still confident. "Looks like my injuries are only superficial, he's still an amateur. I only got caught off-guard the first time, and I've prepared myself this time. I need to make sure he doesn't get the chance again! And since he's distracted from rushing in, himself..."
Zakos threw a straight punch towards Charanko's solar plexus, knocking the wind out of Charanko, ending his rush early.
"Hack- koff- koff, *gasp*" Charanko sputtered, trying to breath in again.
"For an amateur, you actually caught me off-guard. I'll give you credit for that. But still... this is my win!" Zakos rushed towards Charanko, preparing to throw the punch to knock out Charanko.
"Heh, you stubborn fool. You actually didn't ask for help the whole time. Fine, I'll let you have this one. Follow my lead." In Charanko's blurring vision, he could vaguely tell that time was slowing down, as the apparition formed, taking a stance.
Semi-consciously, he copied the stance, and when the apparition threw the punch-
-SMACK-
Zakos was on the ground, out cold.
"Ooooooh! What an upset! Zakos was about to land the final blow, but Charanko actually landed a lucky hit at the last moment! It seems like Zakos isn't getting up from this! It looks like the victory goes to Charanko in the end!" The announcer said. "Contestant Zakos, who invited his girlfriend to propose to her; his plans have come tumbling down from this upset!"
"*Huff*, Take, *Puff*, that, you *wheeze* bastard!" Charanko managed to squeeze out. "You wanted to *cough* use me to make yourself look good? *Gasp* Well, I won, so there! How do you look, losing to me, huh?!"
"Oh, this news just came in." The announcer updated. "It looks like Zakos's girlfriend didn't come after all! She didn't witness the upset, so there's that for Zakos, at least!"
"...Tch!" Charanko 'tch'ed.
Down from the side, Suiryu silently observed.
"Zakos outmatched Charanko in every way possible. Aside from the time he took him by surprise, Zakos had the upper hand the entire time. But that last punch was... perfect. Too perfect. It wasn't a lucky punch at all."
Suiryu smiled. "How interesting."
Up in the stands, Saitama and Genos were surprised at the outcome of the match.
"That last punch was no lucky strike. Was that the 'help' you mentioned, King?" Genos inquired.
"Yep. He's an egotistical prick, but he's a good martial artist, I'll give him that." King said. "Even a little help got Charanko to win against Zakos."
"Anyway, I'm gonna get another bucket." King said, getting up. His snack bucket was empty.
"...King. It's the second match." Saitama pointed out.
"So?"
"...Whatever. Get me some fries or something while you're there." Saitama said.
"Sure." King said, leaving to get more snacks.
Genos then took out his communicator, which was beeping.
"Reports on monster incidents are piling up. What's with this number?"
"Even here in City C, these incidents are occurring. The disaster level is unknown..."
"Is this worth bringing to Master Saitama and King's attention?"
"No... Master Saitama came here to watch martial arts. While I do not understand why he needs to watch these weaklings fight, I will not question his judgement."
"I cannot allow them to interrupt this tournament." Genos stood up. "No matter how many small fries there are... I will eliminate them."
"Hm? Where're you going, Genos?"
"It's nothing, Master Saitama." Genos replied. "I merely have some business to attend to."
"Oh, you need to go to the toilet? Don't get lost."
As Genos left, Saitama looked back at the arena. It was another hero, that 'Biting Snake Fist' Sneck or something against some other guy... he forgot who.
Anyway, from his perspective, it took all of 30 seconds for Sneck to win against that guy.
"I'm back. Huh, where'd Genos go?" King asked, holding two more Supermassive Snack Buckets.
"I think he went to the toilet." Saitama said. "Also, why do you have two buckets?"
"Why do you think?" King answered, and Saitama felt a slight sense of dread.
King then held out one of the buckets. "This is yours."
"...I asked for fries."
"And? There's fries in the bucket."
"...I can't finish all this."
"You can take the rest home. When you get a Supermassive Snack Bucket, you get the bucket too."
"...Thanks, I guess." Saitama didn't know what else to say other than that, so he didn't, and ate the fries in the bucket. Everything else in the bucket was probably going to be tonight, tomorrow, and the day-after-tomorrow's dinner.
[Omake: Concession Stand]
Hikaru yawned.
"Man, the biggest martial arts tournament in four years is being held right behind us, and here we are, manning a concession stand."
"Well, we're here to do our jobs, not watch martial arts. Can you even afford a ticket?" One of Hikaru's co-workers and friend said.
"Still, it's unfair, isn't it? We have to work hard just to be able to afford to eat, meanwhile these people spent half a month's worth of our wages on a ticket to see a bunch of martial artists fighting each other, and the winner of the whole tournament gets 3 million yen." Hikaru sighed. "Life's unfair, man."
"Dude, you wouldn't last a second in the ring. Put some respect on the martial artists, at least." Hikaru's friend said. "Look, we have our lives, they have theirs. Plus, who said our lives can't be interesting?"
"Psh, as if we'll ever have anything interesting happen to us. We're working at the concession stand. What can possibly be interesting about that?" Hikaru said. "If anything interesting does happen in front of us today, I'll wear a bunny suit for a week."
"Ha! Now that'd be a sight to see." Hikaru's friend laughed.
"Hello, excuse me?"
Hikaru turned to look at the customer. It was someone wearing sunglasses, a cap, and a face-mask.
"Yes, how can I help you?"
"What's the 'Supermassive Snack Bucket?'"
Hikaru looked up at the picture the customer was pointing at. It was the novelty offering of a 10-gallon bucket filled to the brim with fried goods. It was intended for families to share together, but even then, a full 10-gallon bucket was just too much food for even a family of 5, so on an average day, they'd never sell even one.
"Oh, it's a 10-gallon bucket filled with food. It includes fries, cocktail hotdogs, cheese-potato croquettes, fried chicken, and other fried goods. It's 20,000 yen per bucket. You also get to keep the bucket."
"Hmm. I'll take one."
Hikaru blinked.
"...Come again?"
"I'll take one. Oh, is it not in stock?"
"Huh? Oh, no, no, we usually don't get orders for it, so it's just a little surprising." Hikaru turned to his co-worker. "Hey, Satou, I'm gonna need some help, here!"
Both Hikaru and Satou worked to assemble the snack bucket, before handing it to the customer.
"That'll be 20,000 yen. Cash or card?"
"Cash." The customer handed Hikaru two 10,000 yen bills.
As the customer left, Satou elbowed Hikaru.
"So, is that interesting enough for you?"
"Psh, he's probably ordering for like 8 or 10 people, it makes sense."
"Come on, we never sell one, ever! That has to count as something interesting!"
"A rare event doesn't necessarily mean it's an interesting event."
"What if it's all for him? Would that count as interesting?"
"That can't be! He's no Pig God- there's no way he can eat all of that himself!"
"You never know, man."
"If he's actually the one eating all of it, then forget just a simple bunny costume; I'll put on the full works- Bunny ears, bunny tail, black leotard, high-heels, everything."
[15 minutes later...]
"I'll take two Supermassive Snack Buckets."
Hikaru and Satou stared at the customer for a solid 5 seconds before they snapped out of it and started assembling the order.
"Thanks." The customer said, holding both buckets.
"Oh, by the way, sir, if I may..." Satou began.
"Hmm?"
"Are you buying the Supermassive Snack Buckets for a large group of people? Because if you're buying for a large group, you guys can register for membership to get discounts..."
"Oh, no. It's not a large group. It's just me and a friend." The customer said. "Though membership is good. How do I sign up for that?"
"Just give us your phone number, we'll register it, and the next time you order, just read us your number."
After registering, the customer walked away, and Hikaru and Satou stared at the customer the whole time.
Satou was the first to recover, as he smirked, and smacked Hikaru's back.
"Well, I was planning to take a day off tomorrow to play some videogames at home, but I'm cancelling those plans. I'm also telling Suzuki and the boys to come tomorrow, so you better not call in sick, alright?"
Hikaru was puzzled at his co-workers reaction, before he remembered his words from earlier.
"Just so you know, I am totally going to send your girlfriend a picture of you in that bunny suit."
"...Oh, fuck."