Eehh... is this really happening? Am I really here? Have I... yes. It is real. Not a dream.
In the past two days, I have re-read the first book, and fallen in love with Johnny again. I always knew this story, for some unknown reason, means the world to me, but the time made me forget... but oh wow. 😥 oh how I missed Amie and Johnny.
Right, from the start... I can't believe it has been so long. What has happened meanwhile? Well, I am a single mum to a 3.5-year-old girl. She grew so fast... I remember plotting the first story while she was asleep. It is crazy how things change... I have gone through a second wave of depression, topped up by anxiety and to be honest I am still finding my way around... But I want to give this story fair treatment...
I know what will follow is not enough, BUT, I just wanted to say hi, darlings. I am back. I am sorry for the months and years of waiting. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for all your lovely messages and comments, you might not have realised it, but those little gestures made me very happy. Gave me hope.
Seems like I am finally there. Finally ready to start over. :)
Enjoy this short chapter, more to come I hope... Kall
The dark clouds nested in the sky above Amie, with a cold breeze pushing them around like balls of cotton. A shiver ran down her spine. She hugged herself, exposing her face to the sharp wind, hitting her from the right side when an unmistakable sound of the arriving car reached her ears. She inhaled deeply, closing her eyes for a brief moment. Amie herself was sitting on top of her car, climbing on the roof of it. Her feet dangled on the side, softly hitting the driver's door. It might have been seen as a silly act by an adult woman, however, she felt as if the wind could tear the sorrow and confusion away, leaving her refreshed and light. With each gust of wind, Amie tried to force the negative feelings out, letting them fall into the arms of the cold touch. It did not work, however.
Mia made her way to her younger sister with an unreadable expression plastered on her face. She furrowed her eyebrows ever so slightly, still, she did not question Amie about her choice of seat. "Hey."
"Hi," Amie answered softly, finally focusing on her sister's face.
"Looks like rain," Mia commented as her eyes flashed upwards, at the dark clouds.
"Are we here to chat about the weather?"
"No, of course not," Mia looked at her feet for a moment, ashamed. "But I also wanted to talk to you in peace-"
"Mia, please," Amie interrupted her. "I don't feel like talking at all."
"But Amie-"
„No but's alright? Just… no."
Her older sister considered Amie for a little bit, slowly taking in her tangled-up hair and deep purple shadows beneath her eyes. The wheels in her brain clicked in her place as she carefully approached her and placed a hand on top of Amie's knee. „Amie…"
"It's really difficult, y'know? I am trying to figure out this new life - new life without my family, without a job and without...-" Amie quickly stopped, biting her lower lip painfully until she tasted blood. "It happened so fast… everything… like, like I haven't actually had a chance to digest it all…" she paused again, her breathing uneaven. In truth, she's never had a real chance to enjoy the good between her and Johnny, and live freely by her own rules and beliefs. It was all so confusing and contradicting, that she started to feel sick of herself.
"We shouldn't have left you…-"
Amie laughed, the sound mirthless. "You've tried plenty, but I didn't want to go."
"No," Mia admitted, both of them remembering that afternoon when Amie's arm got finally fixed and she heard of the news. She broke down in desperate fits of crying, collapsing to the hospital ground. "Is at least Syd around?"
"She is, but I don't want to talk. I don't know how I feel… well I do, but I…"
Mia took a long inhale. "You don't have to be all alone."
"But I am, aren't I?" Amie's eyes narrowed. The sisterly moment was over. "What do you want, Mia? What does the gang need from me now?"
"We need you to help Vince," Mia informed her without hesitation, and her eyes darkened ever so slightly, turning ice cold. She retrieved her hand. "There's a plan being put into motion... but without help, we won't manage."
Of course, they do, Amie thought bitterly - and she almost voiced it too. The first instinct, full of selfishness almost overpowered her, until she realised this was Vince's future they talked about. As much as she wanted to stay as far as possible away from all of the drama - as much as she knew it was Vince's choice to get involved with the truck robbery - Amie couldn't stand the thought he went into prison because she refused to help. He would be by himself too. "Alright," Amie's tongue was heavy and sticking to the top of her mouth. "What do I have to do?"
"He needs a car to be ready as soon as he is released from the hospital. It will be only for a short time, so we need to have everything ready. Stocked car with food and water and full tank to make it to the borders without stopping," Mia said calmly. "The rest will be taken care of."
"And does he know he has to run?"
"And what else is he supposed to do?" Mia's eyebrows narrowed. "Should he just rot in the prison?"
"Well, no-"
"It was unfortunate they had to leave him behind. And they want to fix that," the sister drifted into the silence, where Amie avoided Mia's gaze, closing her eyes and facing the sharp touch of the sudden gust of wind. "I am sorry, Amie. I am so tired - and stressed - this whole situation...- look, I didn't want to get you involved, I thought you had been through enough, but we are afraid of how much attention my presence might cause."
"It's fine."
Mia took a deep inhale, closing the distance between them. Still, she seemed reluctant to touch her little sister again. "You can join us, y'know?"
"Ain't gonna run over borders. Way too dangerous."
"You can fly," Mie said as a matter of fact.
Their eyes clashed for a split second before Amie quickly averted her sister's gaze and looked into the distance behind her shoulder. "I don't know..."
"Amie," Mia exhaled softly. "What is holding you here?"
She wished the answer to that question was straightforward, however, it was not. The anxiety of her situation almost stole her breath. A thought of the tattoo parlour flashed through her mind. The idea of creating something, that would belong only to her, was exciting, although that would mean she could possibly never move on. The image of Johnny would hang above her for the rest of her days. She inhaled sharply. "Vince will need a fast car. Really fast one."
"Yeah," Mia nodded sadly. "I will have to leave soon, Amie. But you are always welcome. We are family and we will look after you, you don't have to stay-"
"It is my decision to make, nobody else's. I doubt the gang would be overly excited to have me after my boyfriend murdered Jesse."
"You are still our little sister. It wasn't your fault."
"What if it was?"
Mia's eyes widened ever so slightly. "What? Stop talking nonsense, Amie," she shook her head. "Anyway. I need to be careful in case the cops pick up on something and Vince will go straight into the prison. You have to be careful too, ok?"
"I understand. I am slowly getting used to being by myself."
The eyes of her older sister flashed with hurt, but all she did was a gentle nod. The gap between them seemed to stretch into an uncomfortable size that she worried they would never be able to cross again.