Majo Kon-ki - The Marriage of Tanya the Witch

by Roth9

With her second life at an end, Tanya accepts a deal to return to her original world and her former life. But as misunderstandings begin to escalate, she may end up chained to Harry Potter… until death do them part.

47. Arc 5 - part 8

Majo Kon-ki The Marriage of Tanya the Witch

(The marriage chronicles of a witch)

Arc 5 - Order of the Phoenix – part 8 and final

April, AD 1996, the closest church to Hogwarts somewhere in Scotland.

"BEING X!" Tanya screamed at the top of her lungs as she burst into the church. Curiously, a wedding ceremony was underway, and every head turned towards the enraged girl. Under normal circumstances, she would feel ashamed for causing such a commotion, but not today.

'I had the dream you asked about on the day we met! The one about a talking nutcracker…!' There was no room left for shame or any other emotion, her fury at the fake god and her own husband, or it should be said, Being X's new apostle, had consumed her entirely.

In her defense, she made an effort to approach the situation rationally, considering the possibility that this was yet another misunderstanding.

"No! He went as far as introducing himself as 'Being X', just to taunt me!"

"BEING X! COME OUT, YOU ASSHOLE!" While she waited for a change, to see if time would freeze; the priest approached her, apparently having had enough of someone screaming in his church.

"My child, please stop yelling blasphemies in my house!"

"Piss off, Being X's lickspittle! I am not stopping until- 'My'? Weren't you supposed to say 'the house of God'?" At that moment, she noticed how the priest before her, along with the couple and the guests, were all unamused as if they had all been expecting her.

"You are already here, aren't you?!" Everyone flashed her a simultaneous smile, their eyes all glowing yellow.

Tanya didn't hesitate, pulling out her Devil of the Rhine wand and unleashing her ghost-killing spell on everybody the poltergeist had taken over.

"DIE! FUCKING DIE, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" Unfortunately, all her expectations went unanswered, as when the dust cleared, the situation was unchanged.

"It was worth trying…" It seemed it wasn't today that she would defeat him.

"Oh, my dear child!" Ignoring her murder attempt, the groom dropped to one knee and pressed a kiss to her hand.

"What a joyful reunion! Sniffle!" At his side, the bride brushed away the tears from her eyes.

"""""HURRAH! THE DAY HAS COME AT LAST!""""" Meanwhile, all the guests threw rice in celebration.

"… could… you… stop… FUCKING AROUND?!" All this theatrics had Tanya seething with anger.

"You fucking liar! You told me I would need to pray to you! Why are you in front of me again?!"

"Why? Wasn't it you who summoned me?"

"Don't play smart with me! You have been watching me!"

"Indeed, I watch over all my creations."

"No, I mean… for starters, you sent me the wands!" She raised her white wand.

"It's too much of a coincidence for them to be called the 'Devil of the Rhine' and 'White Silver'!" He didn't deny it, instead, the bride chuckled.

"It fills me with joy for you to have realized the two gifts I left in celebration of your new life!"

"What was the idea?! Someday I would use the sticks to make a cross?! This is how you would corrupt my mind?!"

"You mistook those toys for holy relics?!" The groom shook his head, a smug, condescending smile tugging at his lips.

"The last miracle I bestowed upon you was cast aside without any hesitation! You can't expect me to grant you another so easily!" She could tell the destruction of the Type-95 still vexed him.

"If you wish for a new miracle, you must PRAY for it!"

"Could this be how you gave a computation jewel to the time-traveling brats?! With a prayer?!"

"Humpf! I find myself insulted for you to consider I had any participation in the creation of that cheap imitation!"

"Cheap?" Tanya recalled that she never so much as touched the orb, fearing it could be cursed.

"Harry and Malfoy's sons traveled to the past to give me an ordinary operational orb? Why?" Despite her use of a rhetorical question, it elicited a response from the unbearable presence before her.

"Have you forgotten the lengths to which some humans will go to obtain the favor of those they revere?"

"I am revered in the future?! Why-" Tanya grunted as she became aware that people would likely perceive her as a princess for years to come.

"Aff! This is all your fault! Admit you whispered the idea of me being royalty to Lucius Malfoy!"

"Would you stop defaming me, please? I had no hand in it. He uncovered the truth unassisted."

"… the truth? You are not implying I actually descended from kings, are you?!" With her eyes wide open, she listened to his confession: in that other world, the emperor would eventually experience a 'divine inspiration' to investigate her origins. Exactly as it was with Lucius Malfoy, he would connect the dots between the Degurechaff family and the old mage king. Somehow, the knowledge would become public, sparking a civil war, as the people's demands for Tanya to be crowned empress would divide the empire.

"I am a true princess?!" Now, how on earth is she supposed to deny it with a straight face?

"""""Your Highness!""""" All the guests respectfully lowered their heads.

"I told you to stop fucking around! Is this what you have in store for me? All the major magical governments will unite against me?!" She could foresee what was about to unfold: as the wife of the chosen one, a princess, and the leader of a military force, the Order of the Phoenix, she would create the perfect conditions for the civil war he had intended to ignite.

"I saw the signs of your meddling! Voldemort, the ministry, even the centaurs! Everyone wants a piece of me!"

"I assure you, I bear no responsibility for the new obstacles in your path…"

"Don't you dare lie-"

"… they are simply the result of your husband's fate at work." She blinked.

"Y-you are saying that… all my recent problems are just Harry being the usual trouble-magnet?!" All the possessed guests nodded as one.

She facepalmed herself. After coexisting with him for so long, she could see that being the case.

"Then, what's your plan? Your new apostle will grow tired of me and kill me in my sleep?!"

"Is this how he will end up with Ginny?!" Perhaps Albus Potter's true intention was to equip her with something for her defense, thereby preventing his father from becoming an assassin.

"Are you that ignorant of your own husband's feelings?"

"W-well…" As a matter of fact, she blurted out the first theory that popped into her head, without taking Harry's strong infatuation with her into account.

"No, child. My chosen boy wouldn't ever desire your death. That is the principal reason I designated him as my messenger of LOVE!"

"Love?! What the heck are you talking about?!"

"Do you not remember? In our last discussion, you ridiculed love! Later, this blasphemy brought an illumination upon me!" All together, the possessed guests raised their arms in prayer.

"I was mistaken in believing that you lacked love due to your deficiency in faith; it was, in fact, the opposite!" The priest said.

"Love must permeate your being for you to truly understand faith; this is the key to your acceptance of me!" The groom added.

"I fail to see how being in love would- Hold on! I ultimately became close to Harry because I misheard Peverell's words! You were there that night!" At this accusation, the bride flashed a mischievous grin.

"Yes, I obscured the words of Death's servant from you, all to ensure that you would encounter your future husband."

Tanya gritted her teeth, grasping that he had been orchestrating things from the start, guiding her toward Harry Potter.

"Lockhart…! You gave him the dreams to make him want me!"

"…" No one spoke, and it was unnecessary, Tanya could already guess the rest.

"You put a villain in my path so I would need a hero to come to my rescue: Harry!" That day, she was forced to confront her vulnerability. And much of her increasing closeness to Harry Potter was largely driven by her fear of being defenseless.

"Hmpf! Is this what you think love is?! To threaten me with RAPE so I would run to the arms of the first boy willing to defend me?!"

"…" Once more, he said nothing, but she could nearly perceive something akin to shame on the faces of his puppets.

"Was Umbridge also to remind me of your hero?!" The worst part was that she had almost succumbed to his trap. Tanya had surrendered herself entirely to Harry Potter, becoming the most distorted version of the Yamato Nadeshiko the salaryman had desired as a partner. Additionally, in her delirium, she had further morphed into the 'cute girl in love' she often saw in the anime from her country.

"And tell me, did you run out of heroes that particular day with LORIA?! Is this why you protected me from him in person?!"

"My child… that malevolent man was a grave error." The guests all hung their heads, as though weighed down by regret.

"I ensured he was punished appropriately. He shall spend eternity in the lowest depths of hell, and his torment will follow him through the cycle of reincarnation, as his sins have earned him the most arduous and prolonged life possible!"

"… is that supposed to make me feel better?!" All her face displayed was contempt.

"No, I do not assume so. Therefore, I am willing to present something as a gesture of apology…"

"You dare to try to buy my-"

"… ANYTHING you can imagine, shall be yours."

"…!" The words died in her throat.

"N-no strings attached?"

"You can ask whatever your heart desires."

The offer of anything from a being nearly as powerful as a true god was indeed alluring.

Many thoughts raced through her mind. She could ask for a new life, one that resembled the salaryman's. Or perhaps she could request the restoration of her mystical organ, making Harry Potter unnecessary. Or, even better, she could demand for both Voldemort and Harry to be wiped from the face of the Earth.

"No, I can't trust him!" 'Be careful what you wish for' was fitting in this case, especially considering that verbal agreements often contained the most loopholes.

"Alright, I wish… for you to keep out of my life! FOREVER!"

She was almost fooled by the look of hurt on his puppets' faces.

"Very well, I shall refrain from interfering in your life, whether to your detriment or advantage."

"I don't want to see your face ever again!"

"You shall not…"

Tanya exhaled in quiet relief and turned to leave, offering neither words of gratitude nor spite in his direction.

"… until the day you request my presence." Her feet stopped the moment she was about to exit the church.

"I knew it! What are your plans, you fucking bastard?!"

"Once his third wish is granted, you shall discover love and approach me… to finally accept me as your GOD!"

Tanya couldn't stop shaking from anger, knowing full well where this was going.

"Listen here, you arrogant ass-"

"Can I do something for you, my young lady?" The priest asked her in a meek tone, clearly back to his original self.

"Grrrr!" She gritted her teeth in frustration. As usual, he didn't allow her to have the last word.

"Forgive me, but we are in the middle of a holy ceremony-"

"PISS OFF!" In her fury, she felt an overwhelming impulse to murder the old man before her, who, instinctively realizing the danger, distanced himself from her.

"Listen here and listen well!" She tilted her face upward to the stained glass window, which featured a depiction of God.

"I will never fall in love with Harry Potter! NEVER…!" She took one of her shoes off and threw it at God's face, shattering it to pieces.

"… because I will FUCKING KILL HIM!"

---

"Well, well, well, Mr Potter! I expect you know why you are here?" Hearing Fudge's voice dripping with smug satisfaction had Harry roll his eyes.

"Yeah… how do I always find myself in these situations?!" He thought that if Tanya were here, she'd blame it on his natural talent for drawing trouble, or claim it was only a matter of time before his illegal meeting got exposed.

"At least they let me take the fall alone!" Still, he wasn't prepared for this kind of mess. The minister had arrived in person to probably expel him, and naturally, it had to be formalized in the headmaster's office, with Umbridge, a tense Professor McGonagall, and Marietta 'sneak' Edgecombe as witnesses, plus two Aurors, one of them being Kingsley, to watch over Harry.

"Answer the question, Potter!" And he nearly forgot about Percy, who sounded almost as pleased as his boss to have Harry cornered.

"What is there to say?! If you are going to expel me, then do it already!"

"So, you admit your attempt at forming an army to overthrow-" A crash of glass startled Harry as one of the windows exploded. His breath caught when he saw his wife leap through the opening.

"Ho- ho! The last member of this conspiracy has arrived! And with such a grand entrance!"

"…" Tanya remained silent, her face obscured by her flowing hair, making it impossible for Harry to read her expression.

"Leave Tanya alone! I did it all by myself!" He had been able to keep his cool so far, but seeing Tanya so quiet made him anxious.

"Did something happen during her errand?! Last night she seemed so well hearing about my silly dream!" Harry reckoned her state was unstable and with Umbridge so close, she might have a relapse.

"Be quiet, Potter! We allowed your abuse of this girl for far too long!" Brimming with self-righteousness, Fudge confidently approached Tanya.

"Don't be afraid, my dear! We are here to help you-"

"M-Minister! Please, maintain some distance from her! She's really dangerous!" Percy's warning caused his boss to hesitate.

"Hem, hem! It's perfectly fine, Minister." Umbridge chimed in, her tone dripping with condescension.

"The girl lost her marbles months ago; she's utterly harmless now!"

"Really? The poor thing must have broken under Potter and Dumbledore's machinations- ARGH!" No one saw this coming: without any warning, Tanya lunged forward, her fist connecting with Fudge's face.

"M-my nose! YOU BROKE MY NOSE!"

"Cornelius- AH!" Maintaining her momentum, Tanya next charged straight at Umbridge.

"Don't think I have forgotten what you tried to do to me, you oversized disgusting toad!" Umbridge was seized by the head and flung across the room as though she were a sack of trash. The sound of her crashing into the wall made Harry wonder if every bone in her body had broken.

"Tanya! I am so glad you are-"

"STUPEFY!" A spell whizzed past him and struck Tanya's shield, prompting her to turn a furious glare at her attacker, the unknown Auror.

"Ah…? Why didn't- GEH!" His temporary lapse in focus proved to be his downfall as a powerful karate chop connected with his temple, knocking him out on the spot.

"D-Dolores?! Dawlish?!" Fudge was thrown into a panic, completely unprepared for what he had just witnessed.

"Kingsley! Do something!" Their secret ally showed conflict on his face, probably unsure whether to follow the minister's plea or reveal his true allegiance. Tanya, however, made the choice easier for him.

"Cut the crap, Shacklebolt! Or you will be the next one bleeding on the floor!" The man let out a noticeable gulp and remained frozen in place.

"That is a good soldier- hum?" Tanya saw the weeping form of Marietta Edgecombe.

"'SNEAK' in spots on the face… I see! You sold the DA out!"

"P-p-please! Don't hurt me!"

Seeing the girl cowering and shivering in fear under his wife's predatory gaze filled Harry with a sense of pity for her.

"Actually, Tanya, Umbridge and the Slytherins could easily catch us because of the mess your Fiendfyre made in the Room of Requirement-" An audible crack echoed, and the Ravenclaw was rendered unconscious as well.

"… forget it." He was starting to feel uneasy about his wife's escalating violence. Although it made sense with Fudge, Umbridge, and Dawlish, her ruthlessness toward Marietta Edgecombe was a tad excessive.

"Almost as if she is venting her anger at random people because… she can't touch her true target…?"

"Y-you are breaking the law!" Harry sighed.

"Percy! You squandered a perfect opportunity to stay quiet!"

"Mr Fudge was wrong! There is no one controlling you! You are the one who wants to take over!" Tanya didn't spare him a reply. She advanced slowly, her heavy steps echoing with the threat of inevitable pain.

"Wait, Tanya! Please don't hurt him too much! Think of Ron, Ginny, Mrs Wealey-" Tanya delivered a kick to Percy's face, sending his teeth flying in all directions. He crashed to the floor face-first with a heavy thud, also knocked out cold.

"… right, forget it too." He's alive, and for his family, it's the only thing that truly matters.

"For the record, if I wanted to own magical Britain, when you finally realize, it would be too late!"

"Okay! Something is definitely wrong!" Harry's relief at Tanya's return to her former self was soon overshadowed by the worry that she had lost her grip on reality even more.

"Is it wrong for me to wish she was back to how she was before?"

'… Harry is THIS big… I am sorry for being a bad wife… Don't be meanies… I will try, darling!'

"I take it back! I'd rather have her this way!" Of course, not everyone else would agree…

"S-stop!" Fudge, for instance, would appreciate Tanya's meek version more.

"You can't do this to- ARGH!" Regardless of his reasoning, she hit him.

"Why?! Because you are important?!" She hit him again…

"No- UGH!"

"Because you are superior to us simple mortals?! Than me?!" … and again and again…

"P-please- argh! STOP!"

"Maybe you are another who believes himself to be GOD!" She continued to hit him mercilessly.

"Uh-hu! This is definitely better than having her crying over a failed patronus…"

"Potter, do something! Your wife has gone insane!" The professor's desperate words snapped Harry out of his thoughts.

"Tanya, knock it off!" Harry could see that Fudge had lost consciousness a while ago.

"A bit more and you are going to kill him!" She directed such a fierce stare at him that, for a brief moment, he thought she was going to attack him as well.

"That is the idea!"

"Eh?!"

"Those are our enemies, Harry! And I learned the hard way that we must terminate them at the first opportunity or suffer gravely later!" The ominous glimmer in his wife's eyes made it clear she meant business.

"N-no! That isn't right! You were the one who taught me to never become a cold-blooded killer, remember?" He recalled the unforgettable afternoon in the acromantulas' nest with Sirius.

"Harry…" She directed a bright smile at him…

"… spare me your coward's excuses!" … which turned into a scornful glare.

"Tanya?!"

"I didn't teach you to show mercy to the enemy! You taught this to yourself and became convinced the idea was mine!"

"I… did?!"

"I am glad we clarified that! Now, where were we?" With a mad grin, she raised her knuckle to restart her beating on Fudge.

"NO!" Quickly, he took hold of her from behind, yanking her away from Fudge.

"Let me go, you stupid boy!"

"Stop this madness! This is not you!"

"!" She stirred, seemingly back to her senses under his grip.

"… where do you think you are touching me, you pervert?! And in front of people?!"

"Huh? AH?!" In his panic, one of his hands ended up grabbing her left breast.

"L-l-let me go you naughty- Oh!" She moaned as Harry inadvertently gave a squeeze.

"S-sorry! If I let you go, you will go back to your ONSLAUGHT!" Seeing all the injured people sprawled around, he applied more strength to his grip.

"E-eek! D-don't- OH! Fine! I am done! I won't kill anyone!"

"You swear?!"

"I promise!" With a breath of relief leaving his lips, Harry let go of his wife.

"!" Tanya immediately distanced herself, covering her chest and openly glaring at him.

"… you are so lucky I need you!" Apparently, once more, her love for him had saved the day.

"Anyway, better make the most of this situation! MCGONAGALL!"

"Y-yes?!"

"Contact Mundungus Fletcher, and tell him to bring me as much polyjuice as he can!"

"U-understood!" Professor McGonagall quickly left the 'crime scene' behind, grateful for an excuse to get away.

"And, KINGSLEY!"

"Yes, ma'am?!" The big man greeted Tanya with a salute filled with newfound fearrespect.

"Help me fill those." She asked, picking two large buckets.

"Err, with what?" Tanya let out a laugh.

"Their BLOOD, of course!"

---

Days later, Harry was still curious about what had happened to Fudge and Umbridge. All Tanya told him was that they were alive. Percy and the Auror Dawlish recovered and, besides finding it odd for the minister to drop all charges against the Potters, they did not suspect the truth.

"It shows how little they knew their boss, no one could tell it was Kingsley!" This explained why Tanya had buckets filled with Fudge and Umbridge's blood: one was for Kingsley to become the Minister for Magic, while the other…

'Hem, hem, Harry! How do I look?'

"To think there would come a day I would call my wife ugly!"

This at least distracted him from the gruesome display she had shown him.

"And she did apologize- she did… didn't she?"

'It came to me that I broke our agreement to have sex once per day. Forgive me.' Harry forgot everything else, being so blissful for them to be making love regularly again.

Since Tanya had taken on the role of their DADA teacher, the Dumbledore's Army was dissolved, meaning they got plenty of time and the room of requirements back to their convenience, besides, Tanya went as far as to cut a deal with their nosy prefect.

Basically, Hermione would turn a blind eye to their 'intimacy', and 'Professor Umbridge' would work her hardest to make them have perfect grades on their DADA OWLs.

'I vow to make it my personal mission to have Hogwarts prepared for any dark wizard or witch that may appear! Whatever it takes!' This was met by a loud cheer from their friend… in their innocence, they could never guess what HORRORS were about to be unleashed.

"Class, let me introduce my assistant professors." Harry figured out that hiring assistants to act on her behalf became necessary due to the limited material available from Umbridge, and also because Tanya needed to attend her own classes.

"This is Professor Magorian…" At the mention of his name, the CENTAUR bowed deeply.

"… Professor Migog." He heard Ron swallow hard when he saw the ACROMANTULA, which, as soon as it spotted the red-haired boy in class, began to salivate.

"… and Professor Nagul." It was Harry's turn to gulp aloud seeing the third 'teacher', a DEMENTOR.

"Ta- Professor Umbridge, they are aware of school regulations about SAFETY, right?!" The whole class sat in anxious silence, awaiting a response to Hermione's question.

"If you are asking if they will hurt anyone, then don't worry…" Everyone let out a simultaneous sigh of relief.

"… they won't do anything you can't handle!" The temperature in the room plummeted dramatically.

"H-h-hey, Tanya! What the bloody hell are you-"

"Hem, hem, Mr Weasley! I am Professor Umbridge!"

"I don't reckon you are fooling anyone in this room." In truth, all the Gryffindors of their year (and a selected few others) were aware that Umbridge was actually Tanya.

"And Harry…"

"Yes, Professor?"

"There is little you will learn from this class, we will have private lessons in the forbidden forest starting today."

"GAH! Y-you are going to…! Throw me back to the acromantulas?!"

"Of course not!"

"Phew! If that is so, what sort of training will it be?"

"You will discover pronto!" She took Harry by the collar of his robes and pulled him away from the room.

"Professors, I leave the children in your capable hands… and pincers."

"Your wish is my command!" Professor Magorian addressed the class, his spear firm in his hand.

"Per the Unforeseeable Calamity's- Professor Umbridge's instructions…" Harry watched as the acromantula and the Dementor positioned themselves in each corner of the room as if trying to encircle his classmates.

"What the?"

"… we will begin your training in SURVIVAL!" The door was closed and Harry couldn't see anything else, however, a few seconds later…

""""""""GYAHHHH!""""""""

"T-T-Tanya! What are they doing to our classmates?!"

"I told you: nothing they can't handle."

"But- Where have you found those three?!"

'Umbridge' let out a feral grin.

"Professor Nagul is one of the few SURVIVORS of the dementors from Azkaban…" Harry heard from Tanya that, before she beat Fudge down, she had gone to Azkaban to seek retribution for the escape of the Death Eaters.

"Oh, they were so surprised to see me destroying them one by one without the aid of a patronus!" Following the fiasco of Tanya using a love potion to generate a weak Patronus, Snape suggested another potion: the 'Elixir to Induce Euphoria'. She consumed a dosage so high that it left her unable to feel anything other than elation, and without fear, the Dementors couldn't utilize their rapid recovery.

"In Migog's case, he offered himself to help me after I awarded a few bodies to the acromantulas as a token for their loyalty."

"So, you fed them- WAIT! 'BODIES'?!"

"You didn't expect me to ignore the warnings Firenzi had given us, did you?!" That had been a busy day for Tanya, as before Fudge and also Azkaban, his wife paid a visit to the centaurs' colony.

"Those centaurs weren't the intelligent creatures I was led to believe; before I could even utter a greeting, they had their spears pointed right at me!" Apparently, the sight of a living creature without the guidance of the stars was more of a big deal than Firenzi expressed, the centaurs rampaged into a frenzy, forcing Tanya to MASSACRE them.

"Err… was there someone named Bane between them?" Besides Firenzi, that was another centaur Harry knew by name, so he couldn't help wondering about his fate.

"Yes, the very first I killed. The acromantulas seemed to have a bone to pick with him as they placed his head together with Lockhart's skull."

"Oh man!" She concluded the story by explaining that, following Bane's brutally painful death, Tanya slaughtered nearly half the village before demanding their complete submission.

"You didn't offer a treaty?"

"They didn't give me the opportunity! Since they acted as animals, I treated them as such!" In other words, there was no treaty, the centaurs had basically become her slaves.

"And they dared to dub me 'the Unforeseeable Calamity'! Can you believe that?!"

"Oh, I do!"

"What do you mean by- ah?" Suddenly, the polyjuice came undone and Tanya returned to her original self.

"Dammit! As I always said, this thing is too unstable! It was supposed to last another hour!" Fortunately, they were already in the forbidden forest and no one had seen that.

"Well, I don't need to be Umbridge to train you." She took a breath and her whistle echoed in the forest. Almost instantaneously, tremors began as something big ran towards them.

"Oh-oh!" Despite expecting the worst, he was unprepared for what he saw…

"W-w-why is FLUFFY here?! Didn't Dumbledore send him back to Greece?!" He watched in fear as Tanya mounted Hagrid's three-headed dog.

"This is your first and most important lesson: if you don't take all your enemies down in a definitive way, they will definitely come back to haunt you!" Tanya reiterated the importance of ensuring his enemy remained incapacitated, either by killing them or leaving them severely injured.

"… rip a leg or an arm. With magic, they will have it back as if nothing had happened in the first place!"

Harry instinctively rubbed the arm she had once cut off.

"Enough with the theoretical part of the class, let's begin the hunt!"

"The what?!"

"GO FLUFFY!"

"What do you- WAAAAHHHHH!" He forgot any questions, more interested in running away from those three enormous jaws.

"I am… spend…!" Tanya ended up taking the lesson too far, Harry missed all his subsequent classes and was liberated only in the evening.

Over dinner, the boy was informed by his friends about the worst defense against the dark arts lesson ever. Essentially, they needed to endure the teachers' attacks until the bell signaled the end of class.

Usually, Harry would feel sympathy but not today, as he felt he had a day harsher than his equally exhausted friends.

"… how can that enormous dog run faster than acromantulas?!"

"Wanna trade?!" Harry stared at his best friend, wondering if he had misheard him.

"With Tanya there, she can stop the dog before it eats you! No one did anything when that acromantula teacher chomped out my EAR!" He turned to show the left side of his head, and sure enough, his ear was missing.

"Alright… maybe they did have a worse day than me!"

"Ronald! Don't be a baby! Madam Pomfrey guaranteed it will be back by morning." Hermione explained.

"In my case, Harry, I am quite satisfied with the harsh lesson! Thanks to it, I finally learned the Patronus charm!" Picking up her wand, she conjured a silver mist otter that floated beside her, a big, proud smile on her face.

"Harry, she did it because the dementor teacher almost kissed her!" Harry hit his head on the table.

"Figures that the smart Hermione would rather lose her soul than allow herself to not know something!"

Moments later, Ginny arrived with Luna, recounting how Tanya was merciless with the younger students too.

"… we were all a right mess after that, no way we could've done Herbology! Not with Julie Parks constantly breaking down in tears!"

"Aren't you all exaggerating? All I heard were some people calling Tanya's assistants 'the three monster teachers'! That is not a nice thing to say behind someone's back!"

"If Ron's ear is any indication, those nicknames are well-earned, and not because of their species!"

"You say that because you didn't have DADA today!"

"NEWT class was a bloodbath!" It was Fred and George's turn to share their account.

""We alone had all our limbs by the end of class!""

"Bah! You two keep blabbing you won't study anyway! Why not just skip class?" At Ron's question, Harry recalled the twins already had a job lined up. Their sole reason to continue attending school was to use the other students as cheap testers for their products.

""WE TRIED! 'HE' SOLD US OUT!"" Turning to the direction they pointed at angrily, Harry spotted the Gryffindor ghost floating there.

"Sir Nick?!"

"My apologies, lads! Her Highness ordered us to watch closely any student attempting to escape from their responsibilities!" In other words, along with her new assistant teachers, Tanya had enlisted all the ghosts.

"And, by the way, shouldn't you be doing your homework?!"

"Eh? We are eating-" Ron's protests were cut short as more ghosts arrived bringing books, in minutes every student who wanted to eat would need to do so with a fork in one hand and a DADA book in the other.

"There is no fun in studying with this much pressure! Harry, talk with your- HARRY?! DID YOU RUN AWAY?!" From behind a pillar, sneaking towards the closest exit, Harry apologized to Hermione in his mind.

"I am not running away, I am going to talk to Tanya! She will end this mess-"

"Potter! I want to have a little chat with you!"

"Malfoy?" As Harry made his way back to his dormitory, he saw the Slytherin waiting in front of the Fat Lady's portrait.

"About what your wife's lackeys have been doing in DADA class!"

"I don't know what you are talking about."

"Don't play dumb! The princess made Umbridge disappear and took her place! She may have fooled the others but not me!"

"…!" Harry tensed, imagining that Malfoy must be there to blackmail him.

"If Tanya is discovered, the entire school could unite against her!" It wasn't that he was concerned about his wife; he simply feared a repeat of the attack she launched in the headmaster's office, only this time, instead of five people, there would be hundreds bleeding on the floor.

"What do you want, Malfoy?!" Draco quickly dropped to his knees in a gesture of pleading.

"I BEG YOU! PUT THE CURSE BACK INTO THE PRINCESS!"

"Eh?!"

"PLEASE! I WON'T SURVIVE ANOTHER LESSON! CRABBE AND GOYLE CAN'T PROTECT ME!"

Harry did hear that his two goons were in the hospital wing… growing back their arms.

"Curse?! What curse?!"

"The one which had her so well behaved before!" The Gryffindor was exasperated, realizing that, like Daphne, Draco Malfoy also believed Harry had brainwashed his wife.

"I am starting to think that this is how the pure-bloods find wives…"

"I PROMISE THERE WON'T BE A NEW INQUISITORIAL SQUAD IF YOU PUT BACK THE REINS ON-"

"Reins…? On me?!" The two boys were equally startled when Tanya appeared seemingly out of nowhere.

"Answer me Draco! Do you take me for a quadruped?! Perhaps a mule?!" Malfoy appeared about to wet himself under Tanya's intense glare.

"I-I-I… p-p-please forgive me- ouch!" Contrary to Harry's initial assumption, Draco was struck by a box that an owl had dropped.

"Huh? Is this… AH!" He knelt in front of Tanya and presented the box to her.

"This is a gift from father and me!" Tanya's expression was one of disinterest until she opened the box.

"OOOOHHHH!" Ecstatic, she held up a very familiar red wand: the Devil of the Rhine.

"Father said the dark lord found a wand that suited him better, so he arranged to have it sent back."

"B-brainless berk!" Harry screamed at the Slytherin.

"Why have you returned that dangerous thing to her?!"

"Shut up, Potter! Are you jealous that I-" A blast shot past mere inches from their heads and demolished a nearby wall.

"YES! Its allegiance remains mine!" Harry was so terrified by his wife's maniacal laughter that he ended up in an embrace with Malfoy.

"MY HAND IS WHOLE AGAIN! MWAHAHAHA!" In a frenzy, Tanya fired blasts in all directions.

"Can't believe we managed to escape- Whoa?!"

"What is happening?!" Fred and George arrived, stunned to see the corridor with more holes than Swiss cheese.

"Tanya is happy that she got her evil wand back…"

The two stared perplexed at Harry, and before they could give any comment, the Fat Lady's portrait opened, revealing Professor McGonagall.

"What- WHAT IN MERLIN'S NAME IS GOING ON HERE?!" At last, Tanya ceased her outburst.

"Mrs Potter! Are you destroying more school property?!"

"Of course not, Professor."

"Then why does it look as if a war was fought here?!"

"You see, this was another of FRED and GEORGE's experiments with their products!" Even the professor was taken aback by Tanya's blatant lie.

"I believe they earned a harsh detention with Professor Umbridge, don't you agree?"

"… understood! So long as they fix this corridor, I will trust in 'Professor Umbridge's' judgment!" Having no option but to brush off the entire situation, their head of house departed as swiftly as she had come.

"You can't put us in detention!" The twins protested this unfairness.

"We didn't do anything!"

"Exactly! It's time you two did something to PAY back in full your debt to me!" Frankly, the way things were going, Harry was afraid she would use a blood quill on them.

"Reckon she forgot about me?" Draco's question had Harry's brain register their compromising position.

"Get off of me! This was all your present's fault!" Without further ado, he shoved the Slytherin off.

"Oh! And, Harry, Draco, you two be a dear and clean this mess alright?"

---

How Harry wished he could say that the worst was left behind in the following weeks… but that would be a lie.

To begin with, it became a routine to hear screams coming from the DADA classroom. This had almost the entire school (teachers included) signing up to return home during Easter. Only for 'Professor Umbridge' to effectively cancel the holiday, announcing that everyone required remedial classes. By now, the fear of the three monster teachers had subsided, and the school was starting to harbor intense resentment toward their boss alone.

'I promise to do everything in my power to help you become an auror, Potter!' Professor McGonagall vowed to him during his career advice.

'With your wife's incredible ability to make enemies, she will need as much protection as she can get in the following years!'

Then, Hagrid dropped a bomb on Harry, Hermione, and Ron…

'This is Grawp, my brother!' He disclosed that he had a giant half-brother hidden in the forbidden forest and asked Harry and his friends to help protect him from Tanya.

'The day I got back, she said all giants 'ad to be killed fer siding with You-Know-Who!' How was Harry supposed to convince his wife that a violent giant who needed to be restrained wasn't a threat? In the end, they agreed to come up with an alternative later and keep it a secret from Tanya for the time being.

After that, some great things happened. Ron managed to overcome his nerves and started playing Quidditch quite well, leading the Gryffindors to sing a new version of the 'Weasley is Our King' song.

In fact, both teams made excellent use of all the intense training from the DADA lessons, turning the final into the most exciting game of the season. Naturally, Gryffindor emerged victorious, as their players were far more skilled (since they had suffered more at Tanya's hands) than those of the Ravenclaws.

And the good news didn't end with the Quidditch trophy; a few days later, the examiner Tofty expressed how pleasantly surprised he was by the performance of the OWLs and NEWTs from Hogwarts.

'The best I saw in decades!' This created a sense of accomplishment for their school, and there was the hope it would lead to the greatest news of all: the end of the terror in Defense Against the Dark Arts.

"THE BLOODY HELL! WHY ARE DADA'S LESSONS MORE VICIOUS THAN EVER?!" One night, Ron lashed at Harry, frustrated that with just a week left in the school year, the three monster teachers had become excruciatingly harsher.

He wasn't alone; beside him stood Hermione, Ginny, Luna, and Neville, all united in demanding that Harry talk some sense into his wife.

"Harry, Tanya is out of control! Have you seen what she did to Fred and George?!" Ginny gestured toward her older brothers, who stood motionless in the common room, staring blankly. For once, their eyes lacked the lively spark of their usual playful nature.

"Tanya did that? Why?"

"Your guess is as good as ours. We found them like this, completely disoriented." Hermione took the turn to speak.

"Neville here said that he saw it all."

"Nev? Did they, perhaps, try to prank her?"

"NO! They didn't!" He realized Tanya had crossed a major line when the typically shy Neville had a hint of anger beneath his voice.

"They were so happy telling her they had finished her order and out of the blue, she hexed them!" With their short story finished, the five crossed their arms, waiting for Harry to say his piece.

"Err, I already tried to talk to Tanya-"

"""""AND?"""""

'Forget the exams! We need able people to fight Voldemort!'

"… and she finished saying that, because the adults won't do a thing, their children need to work extra hard to compensate."

"And what is the idea?!" Ginny asked.

"Kill us from overwork before any death eater can?!"

"What do you expect me to do?! I swear I tried to have her calm down a bit but… she threatened me!"

"Let me guess…" Luna scoffed.

"… she said she would limit your amount of mating!"

"Actually, no. It was far worse!" He shuddered recalling her words.

"She said… said she would sleep with me still under the effects of the polyjuice!" In other words, Harry would share his bed with Umbridge.

This had them all widen their eyes with some even gagging.

"Finally, some sympathy!"

"That is it!" Ron shouted.

"I say we band together to go have a word with the blonde acromantula-"

"Why are you all here so late?" It goes without saying that Ron lost his nerve, with him solely inquiring about the cursing of his brothers.

"I didn't curse them! It was a memory charm." She outlined the deal they had struck: in order for her to forgive their debt from the Triwizard winnings, they needed to create something for her and then forget about it afterward.

"Which, by the way, I am going to have it delivered tomorrow, and… Harry! We will take this opportunity to have a little 'excursion' for our class!"

"Y-y-you mean… the final test you said I had to take?!"

"Right on the mark!" With that settled, she turned her attention to their friends, examining them closely as if she were sizing them up.

""""!"""" All of them, except Neville, stiffened, painfully aware of what was about to unfold.

"T-Tanya, Harry, if you two don't mind, we are going to sleep! Right, Ron?" Hermione announced with an awkward smile.

"Y-yup! We also have to help Fred and George, so we are going now!" Ron and Ginny guided their brothers, while Luna quickly approached the nearest exit, and Hermione dragged the perplexed Neville with her.

"Sorry! It's too late!"

"Do as you wish…" Tanya said.

"… just don't forget that tomorrow, the five of you will be tagging along!"

"I knew it!"

---

"And here we are!" When Harry regained awareness of his surroundings, he, Tanya, and their five friends were all standing in front of the Ministry of Magic's telephone booth entrance.

"Alright! Your mission will be to-"

"Hang on! You can apparate?!" Hermione asked, visibly agitated for some reason.

"Did I never mention that I took the apparition course?"

"That is unlikely! The lessons started while you and Harry were… ahem… together in your room in Hogsmeade."

"Humpf! About ninety percent of the classes are about safety! Watching the last one was enough for me to learn it perfectly!"

"""WHAT?!""" This had most of Harry's friends join the bushy-haired girl in astonishment.

"Tanya, you could have splinched us!"

"Don't worry, I also learned how to fix splinching."

"What about a license?!"

"I got one!"

"Watching one single class?! I sincerely doubt it!"

"Hehehe, you see, there is a rule that a student can have a license with the minimum of instruction if a teacher vouches for them…" Harry could guess what 'loophole' Tanya used in this case.

"'Umbridge' vouched for you!" This earned a grin from his wife.

"Tanya! What has gotten into you?! Recently you have been too reckless!"

"And violent!" Ron added.

"And so distant!" Luna said.

"Sob! I miss our nights of sleeping together!"

"Luna!" Harry couldn't ignore this comment.

"My wife will only sleep with me-"

"Cease your whining! You have a task of the utmost importance!" Without further ado, she ushered them all into the cabin.

"S-shouldn't we plan ahead? What if someone sees us?"

"There is no need for alarm, see?" Inside the ministry, it was surprisingly empty.

"Have you forgotten the current minister is one of us? All I had to do was ask a favor." She winked at them.

"Right! Kingsley is impersonating Fudge-" Harry took note of an important detail.

"Why didn't he warn the people about Voldemort's return? He had already spent around two months there and had plenty of opportunities."

"Simply put, it doesn't matter if we have the ministry on our side, we need proof of the dark lord's return." His wife patiently told him.

"And I couldn't have Kingsley risk being discovered as I had him gather some crucial information for me."

"Was it something about Voldemort or his followers?"

"Not exactly. Anyway, back to the business at hand…" She wrapped up their discussion to remind them of the test they were about to face.

"In this 'excursion', the six of you will go inside the department of mysteries to take and destroy the prophecy stone."

"The what stone?!" Neville, the only one left in the dark, needed them to tell the whole story.

"Weren't we going to use the stone to catch you-know-who?"

"Obviously, there was a change of plans!" This was all Tanya felt she had the obligation to elaborate to Ron, she merely continued with her explanation.

"You have permission to employ any way you see fit against the ones trying to stop you…" Based on her words, Harry figured that she had probably positioned people to block them.

"Acromantulas, centaurs, dementors, the Order of the Phoenix… maybe all of them!"

"… show no mercy to those who cross your path, or you might find yourselves MORTALLY WOUNDED if not DEAD!"

""""""!"""""" They all widened their eyes.

"W-what do you mean by 'mortally' and 'dead'?!"

"You will find out fast! Now, if you excuse me."

"Hey, aren't you coming with us?!"

"The main point of this excursion is to have you handle your problems without me around, or anyone else…" Tanya held a small device in front of her and, startled, Harry dug into his pockets and found out that his pager was gone.

"Tanya, what if something happens? I won't be able to call help from the Order- Ah?" With a smile, she ended the conversation by crunching the pager into small pieces.

"… besides, I have a job to do…" She cast a glance at the box the twins prepared for her.

"… I need to place this somewhere no one will find."

"Can you tell me what is so important that you had to erase it from Fred and George's mind?"

"No, see ya!" Using what they believed to be an Invisibility Spell, she vanished from their view.

"Harry, is there any possibility of that box being a BOMB?!"

"Frankly, Hermione, I dunno!" Ever since Tanya came back from her nervous breakdown she had been acting weird.

"And weird in a sinister way!" With nothing else to do, they moved forward to the Department of Mysteries, their nervousness intensifying at each new step as they speculated about what Tanya had prepared for them.

Their initial challenge was to locate the door to the correct room, as each time they opened and closed a door, the room would rotate, making it difficult to remember which door they had just tried or where they had come from. During their first attempt, they encountered a room filled with brains.

"What a creepy place! And Tanya said she is going to work here!"

"Don't worry!" Ron told his sister.

"This place matches her so well, I reckon she will be very happy working here!"

"Why can't I deny that…?"

On their second try, they discovered a chamber similar to the courtroom where Tanya and Harry had their hearing.

"Look at that arch!" Neville gestured toward the room's sole feature, an ancient archway with a veil.

"That curtain glows in the same color of the skies on the night Tanya became the eleventh goddess!" They all agreed with him, and somehow, simply staring at it made them feel uneasy.

"Let's go for the next one." Again, as soon as the room stopped rotating, they approached another door.

"Is this the place?" On their third try, they found the Hall of Prophecy.

"Whoa! Are all those glass spheres prophecies?" Neville questioned as he gazed at the towering shelves packed with small, dusty glass orbs.

"I reckon, yes."

"But, there are thousands! Which one do we need to take?"

"Don't worry, Sirius told me a few months ago where it is. We are searching for shelf number…" Harry blinked, struggling to recall the numbers from a conversation so long ago.

"Well?" His friends were staring at him, waiting for his answer.

"… sorry, I forgot!" Many sighs of disappointment echoed as they began the arduous task of examining each ball without touching.

"Don't forget! Only the people to whom they refer can lift them from the shelves without suffering madness!" One by one, they searched for the glass ball with the label 'S.P.T. to A.P.W.B.D. Dark Lord and (?)Harry Potter'.

Finally, after inspecting ninety-six rows with no success…

"I think I found the right shelf!" Luna pointed to an orb with the label 'S.P.T. to A.P.W.B.D. Tanya Von Degurechaff and the Overlord'.

"All the ones on here start with 'S.P.T.'." Harry confirmed she was right, seeing next to it another sphere with the label 'S.P.T. to T. V. D. Dark Lord and (?)Peter Pettigrew'.

"Ah! Harry, this one has your name!" Harry picked up the ball Ginny had pointed to and saw that the person who had heard the original prophecy was not Professor Dumbledore.

"'S.P.T. to L. E. and T.T. Lily Evans and (?)Harry Potter'? Mum?!" He deduced that L.E. was also his mother. Suddenly, he heard a voice from it: Professor Trelawney's, though it sounded younger and almost childlike.

'One day, you shall need to choose between your life or the one you love the most!'

Harry's legs gave way beneath him, and he sank to the floor, tears running down his face.

"Harry! What is wrong?!"

"You okay, mate?!"

"She knew…! Sob! Mum knew what would happen…!" A wave of disgust at himself assaulted Harry; the women in his life were constantly in danger. His mother had sacrificed herself for him, and even before he and Tanya began to date, she had nearly lost her life trying to protect him.

"Mum… Tanya… I don't deserve your love! Sob!"

"Harry, you shouldn't- AHHH!" Hearing gasps, he raised his head to find Lucius Malfoy with a dozen masked people surrounding them.

"Give me the prophecy, Potter!"

"Why are there death eaters here?! Where are the fellas Tanya sent for us?!" In response to Ron's question, Harry speculated that either the Death Eaters had killed them or they had fled.

"Harry, hurry…" Hermione whispered to him.

"… let's run and meet with Tanya! Our chances would be better-"

"No!"

"Harry?"

He figured that wherever Tanya was, she was safer. Besides, he was tired of women always protecting him… dying because of him.

Calmly, he placed the orb back on the shelf and picked the right one.

"You want it?! Come and get! I am going to defeat you all!" With a threatening air, Harry raised his wand and aimed it at Lucius Malfoy.

"Hmpf! Let's put your gloating to the test, boy!" With a sneer, one of the Death Eaters accepted Harry's challenge.

"Don't think we are the same as those pretenders from the quidditch world cup! We are the dark lord's finest-"

"You talk too much! Stupefy!"

"Impudent brat! PROTEGO- UGH!" The shield was no match for Harry's shot, and the man went down quietly taking a direct hit.

"Who is next to take a nap sprawled on the floor?!" Most of the Death Eaters stepped back, but the woman among them moved forward.

"Ohhhh! Does the little baby know how to fight?! Fun!" Laughing hysterically, she unleashed a barrage of blasts toward him.

"Crucio! Crucio! CRUCIO!" Harry barely managed to evade her curses, and without leaving any openings, she relentlessly pressed the attack.

"She is different from the others!" The fight with the laughing woman demanded all of his focus. Thankfully, a glance at his friends revealed they were faring well. Exactly the same as before, the arrogant Death Eaters attempted to attack them in turns, allowing his friends to put them down together.

"Tell me Potter, where is that little BITCH of yours?"

"Eh?"

"The one the dark lord is so… interested!" She literally spat the last part out.

"I will kill her to prove to him that I am everything he will ever need!"

"You think you can beat Tanya?! You?! When you barely can take me on?! Pfff!"

"You are NOTHING you son of a MUDBLOOD!" The woman erupted in a furious frenzy toward him, exactly as he had expected. Harry let her get closer and, taking a page from Tanya's book, ended their fight with a strong punch to her gut.

"The other must have also finished by-"

"HARRY! BEHIND YOU!" Harry narrowly dodged a jinx, thanks to Neville's warning.

"What?!" He was taken aback to see all the Death Eaters back on their feet and ready to fight. Harry quickly joined his friends, and together, the six of them defeated each one… only for the same cycle to start over.

"The bloody hell! This has no end!" Harry's friends were not used to long skirmishes and were already extremely fatigued, leaving him to fight twice as hard to both attack the dark wizards and defend them.

"We are not going to last! How do they keep coming back?!"

"Rennervate!" Harry found his answer, he saw Lucius Malfoy standing over a fallen Death Eater, reviving him.

"Shit!" He stayed at the back, focused on reviving his comrades and getting them back on their feet. This was a simple yet solid strategy, one that Tanya always warned him about.

'… if you don't take all your enemies down in a definitive way, they will definitely come back to haunt you!'

"Dammit! It's too late to regret! I have to… KILL them all!" However, each time a Death Eater entered his line of fire, he hesitated to unleash a deadly spell. And like with his mother and Tanya, his friends suffered the consequences. He had to watch helplessly as they were all captured.

"No… I did it again… I let everyone down…!"

"Do you see, filthy half-blood?" The woman Death Eater showcased the captured Ginny.

"You never stood a chance against the dark lord's most loyal and capable servant! HAHAHAHA!"

"Don't be so full of yourself, Bellatrix!" Malfoy cut in.

"If it wasn't for the strategy SHE gave me, you would be at Potter's feet!"

"'She'?"

"What are you babbling about?! Weren't you following the dark lord's instructions?!"

"No, it came from someone of a standing greater- I mean, as great as his! She informed me Potter was coming and that he was too much of a coward to fire a spell to kill!"

"The way he is talking, with so much respect… isn't that how he talks about- no, it can't be!"

"You better watch your tongue, brother-in-law, or I will- !" The woman, Bellatrix, stiffened, and Harry understood why. They found themselves surrounded by the ORDER OF THE PHOENIX.

"Hello, dear cousin! I came to escort you back to Azkaban!"

"Sirius!"

"It's okay Harry, Tanya sent us!"

"Professor Lupin!"

"Wotcher, Harry!"

"… Tonks?"

"Couldn't Tanya have sent Kingsley or Moody?" There are plenty of people who are more reliable than the clumsy Nymphadora Tonks…

"You better release my daughter you BITCH!"

"M-Mrs Weasley?!" … and Molly Weasley wasn't among them. Neither were the people beside her: her husband, Mundungus Fletcher, and Mrs. Lovegood.

"The heck?!" Harry was utterly astonished and deeply scared. According to what Tanya had told him, aside from Sirius and Remus, these were the least capable members of the Order when it came to fighting strength.

"Move outta the way, Harry! This will be done in a jiffy!" The bragging from Mundungus did nothing to lift his spirits.

"Err, are there more people coming to help?"

"Nah, the princess of yours said just us would do!"

"Oh, bollocks!"

---

"We… won?!" Harry couldn't believe his eyes. The fight was really over in a 'jiffy', every Death Eater lay bound by a familiar web spell. Bellatrix Lestrange and Lucius Malfoy were the last left standing, cornered by Sirius and Remus, but they, too, were as good as beaten, having lost their wands.

"C-curses! This wasn't what was promised to me!" In his desperation, Lucius attempted to apparate, only to crash into what seemed like an invisible ceiling.

"Sorry, Malfoy! We put an anti-apparition field in place! You are not escaping!" This broke the final shred of his resistance, and the Death Eater lifted his arms in a gesture of surrender.

"It is over?!" Harry remained skeptical, even as he watched his friends, completely unharmed, interacting with the Order of the Phoenix.

"Mummy! You are so strong!" In a corner, Luna was complimenting her mother.

"Thank you, sweetheart! Keep it a secret from Daddy, alright?"

In another, Tonks and Mundungus were chatting with Hermione and Neville.

"… I have to give in! If it wasn't for her awful training regime, the result could have been radically different!" The pink-haired woman admitted to Hermione.

"I know what you mean, despise her harsh methods, they give results! I myself learned the Patronus charm thanks to it!"

"Congratulations! And tell your friend she can call me Nymphadora, she earned it!"

"You don't say, gal!" Mundungus was bouncing with excitement.

"I put down two all by meself! Just think of all the business chances these new skills will give me!"

"What are we going to do with them?" In their midst, Neville alone maintained a serious expression.

"What are we doing about BELLATRIX LESTRANGE?"

Lastly, near Harry, the Weasleys were checking their children for injuries.

"Ron, Ginny! Let me take a look at the two of you!"

"Mum! What was that jinx?! It took down four at the same- Bleargh! Stop kissing me!" Despite Ron's protest, the Weasley matriarch persisted in her affectionate assault.

Ginny evaded her mother's notice while she was occupied with Ron and went over to her father.

"Dad, I wanted so much to say that you were brilliant…"

"Oh? Thank you, Ginny!"

"Don't thank me, you didn't do a thing, so I won't praise you!"

"W-well, let's tell Tanya that I captured one Death Eater too! I can't stand the acromantulas anymore!"

The sight of the father and daughter so happy brought a smile to Harry's face, and the wonderful reality finally sank in for him.

"WE DID IT! We took down the best death eaters… with our weakest!" Though he contemplated how much stronger the most formidable members of the Order might have become, it was irrelevant, as one thing was certain:

"WE CAN DEFEAT VOLDEMORT!" He could glimpse the light at the end of a long, dark tunnel. Tanya was okay, Umbridge was gone, the escaped Death Eaters had been recaptured, and…

"Hehehe! I reckon I got a huge score in my defense against the dark arts OWL-" A loud thud echoed, pulling Harry out of his merry thoughts.

"Huh?" Turning his gaze, he realized the sound had come from someone who had collapsed on the ground.

"Who…?" All the cheerful voices fell silent. Everyone gaped in horror at the person lying on the floor… bleeding… with a knife lodged in his chest.

"Sirius…?" The world around him seemed to blur and slow, as if time itself had paused.

"SIRIUS!" Harry rushed to his godfather.

"S-sorry… I let my guard down…!" Even wincing from pain, he put on a smile.

"It was my fault! I should have been watching!"

"Whoa! Who did this?!"

"Hurry! We have to stop the bleeding!"

People were yelling around Harry, but he could hardly register it, his attention consumed by Sirius and the thunderous beating of his heart.

"I killed Sirius Black! HAHAHAHA!" Harry turned to the sound of Bellatrix Lestrange's laughter. She stood at the opposite end of the room, facing away from the exit, licking a knife similar to the one in Sirius and holding the prophecy glass in her other hand.

"The orb?! Did I drop it?!" He assumed it must have happened as he ran to Sirius.

"My sincere thanks for the glass, Potter! I will be seeing you again when I come to kill your little bitch-"

"Why do tomorrow what you can do today?" Harry could tell even the mad Bellatrix was assaulted by a sense of intimidation upon seeing Tanya suddenly appear between her and the exit door.

"You… are the BITCH trying to take master from me- Ah?!"

"What is wrong? Were you so worried about running away that you forgot to pick up your wand?" Harry confirmed Tanya's guess spotting the Death Eater's wand still in Sirius's grip

"I don't need magic to rip you apart, you thieving WHORE!" With a mix of rage and overconfidence, the hysterical woman lunged at Tanya, knife held high.

"DIIIIEEEE- ARGH!" A gunshot echoed and Bellatrix fell, bleeding profusely.

"Tsk, tsk! Has no one told you to not bring a knife to a gunfight?" Tanya sneered, in her hand, the small pistol she had used on Voldemort a year ago.

"… hehehe! The girl is… as harsh as ever…"

"Sirius? H-hang in there! We are taking you to a hospital!"

"… it's okay, Harry… I was prepared to die three years ago- Cough!" Blood leaked from his mouth.

"… I am so glad… I was given a couple… wonderful years… to meet Prongs' son…"

"No! Please, Sirius! Don't die!"

"… only regret… I didn't meet… one… or two… of your… own… kids-" He stopped talking and stared at nothing. Luna slowly came over and gently closed his eyes.

"H-how could this happen?!" Harry simply couldn't comprehend it. They had won; why had Sirius died?

"…?" Once more, Lucius Malfoy provided the answer.

'… the strategy SHE gave me… She informed me Potter was coming and that he was too much of a coward to fire a spell to kill!' There was only one person who understood Harry well enough to anticipate his actions, who also maintained contact with Lucius Malfoy and received so much respect from the death eater.

"TANYA!" With his vision clouded in red, Harry lunged at his wife.

"Ugh!" Tanya winced upon colliding with the nearest stand.

"YOU- YOU DID THIS!" Numerous prophecy glasses toppled and broke as he shook the girl against the shelf.

"What are you talking about?!"

"YOU CALLED THE DEATH EATERS HERE!"

"So what?" He blinked at her indifference.

"'So what'?! YOU KNEW SOMEONE COULD DIE!"

"Was Tanya always so cold?!" In his heart, the ideal image of his wife broke into countless pieces like the orbs beneath his feet.

"IT COULD HAVE BEEN ONE OF OUR FRIENDS! SIRIUS DIED BECAUSE OF YOU!"

She merely arched an eyebrow at his outburst.

"Harry, if I intended to have someone killed, why the heck would I train the Order of the Phoenix all this year long?"

"Eh? That-"

"The whole idea of today's excursion was to see how you, some of your close friends, and the Order would act under a true situation of life and death." Not so gently, Tanya shoved Harry's hands away to free herself from his grasp.

"Tell me, Harry. Am I really the one responsible? Didn't I happen to give you some INSTRUCTIONS beforehand?!"

'… show no mercy to those who cross your path, or you might find yourselves MORTALLY WOUNDED if not DEAD!'

"You did warn me!"

"And I told you plenty of times, if you don't want to kill, you have to…" She drew her red wand and, with a swift slash, severed Bellatrix's hands.

"… make sure they can't cause more harm."

"YEARGH!" The woman, already critically wounded by the shot, was now bleeding from her amputated limbs too.

"See? She became unable to hurt anyone else, and later, should we wish, we can put her back together with magic." Tanya declared as a matter of fact.

"That being said, if she or any of these scumbags ever stand again, they will certainly come back for our HEADS!" Using the same spell, Tanya decapitated the tied-up Death Eaters, horrifying all who witnessed it.

"Tanya?! How could you?!"

"They were defenseless!"

"We are supposed to take them to Azkaban!"

"SHUT UP! THESE ARE TERRORISTS AND WE HAPPEN TO BE THEIR TARGETS!" She yelled.

"With terrorists, you can't talk or negotiate, we can only regain our peace (and our common sense) after every single one of them is DEAD!"

Deep down, they all knew it was true, yet couldn't help staring at Tanya as if she had lost her mind.

"If any of you had the guts to pay in the same coin, Sirius would be alive!"

"!" Harry realized that Tanya was right. He had his fair chances to have them all killed, Bellatrix Lestrange included.

"So, if you want someone to blame for Sirius' death, all you have to do is look in a mirror!" Tanya addressed everyone present, but the boy felt that her words were aimed exclusively at him.

"I let my godfather die and… threw all the blame at my wife!"

"T-Tanya… I… I…!" Harry's apology died in his throat. He considered himself so worthless that he couldn't allow any forgiveness to be given to him.

"M-my princess!" Malfoy called for Tanya.

"Are you satisfied with my work? I brought some of the dark lord's best! Exactly as you ordered!" No one was more surprised at his words than Mr Weasley.

"I can't believe it! Malfoy is on our side?!" This earned a sneer from Tanya.

"Lucius Malfoy is on HIS side! If the death eaters had won, he would gladly present our dead bodies to Voldemort!" Tanya cast her contemptuous gaze back at Malfoy.

"Lucius!"

"Gulp! Y-yes?!"

"You did a superb job…"

"Oh! Thank you my-"

"… is what I would have said if you hadn't killed Broderick Bode!"

"Eh- GAH!" A kick to his guts sent him crashing into unconsciousness.

"Someone, please take him to Azkaban later, okay?"

They were all left stunned by Tanya's ruthless betrayal of Malfoy. Despite their dislike of him, they couldn't help pitying the man she had so callously discarded.

"Harry, one last thing. Did you forget the mission I gave to you?!" She pointed to the glass sphere that was still intact at her feet.

"I-in all that chaos, I forgot! I-I will do it immediately-"

"Thank you for reminding me that if I want a job well done, I have to do it myself!" She crushed the prophecy stone with her foot.

"This also applies to Voldemort. If I want him gone, sigh, I will have to do it alone…!"

Harry's heart tightened, it was as if she was implying she was going away.

"NO! I-I am sorry! G-give me another chance, I won't fail you again!" He had lost Sirius; he couldn't bear to lose anyone else.

"Ho? Are you serious?"

"YES! Tell me what I have to do and I will do it!"

"Fine." Tanya gestured to the half-dead Bellatrix Lestrange.

"Execute that death eater." Despite the surrealism of the scene, he could tell her tone was serious.

"Y-you want me to kill a person?! D-didn't you say that we don't have to kill so long as she can't cause more harm?!"

"Get a grip already! She will cause more harm! You can avoid all future grievances by killing her! Plus, you will take your last step into becoming a complete soldier!"

Glancing at the others, no one said anything. Harry couldn't tell if they agreed or not. With heavy steps, he approached the fallen death eater.

"… hehehe… the baby will lose his… virginity with me…?"

Harry aimed his wand at her but hesitated. To his mind came the memory of a similar situation, with Sirius on the other end. The difference being that his godfather had communicated his innocence with his eyes, Bellatrix, on the other hand, only displayed her contempt and one undeniable truth…

"If she survives this day, she will kill more people! Maybe more people I love… my friends and Tanya!" The Death Eater did express her jealousy over Tanya attracting so much of Voldemort's interest.

"This is me protecting Tanya and avenging Sirius!"

"… come boy… it's not nice to… leave a lady hanging… huhuhu…"

"She hurt my friends!"

"… so typical of… little boys… all promises… and no action…"

"She wants to hurt my wife!"

"… what is wrong…? Your little wand… won't get up…?"

"SHE KILLED SIRIUS! I HATE HER!" She was so easy to hate, so easy to wish to die… nevertheless, his hands trembled at the simple thought until his wand slipped from his grasp.

"Uhh! I can't …!" Various excuses surfaced in his mind, perhaps the reluctance to dirty his hands, or maybe the fact that she is almost as defenseless as his mother had been at her death.

"No, the truth is I am SCARED of doing it!" Amidst the waves of relief, the sound that reached him was a solitary sigh.

"I am so disappointed with you…!" Tanya's frustrated tone was a hammer in his head.

"… as I am with the bunch of you!" This turn, she threw her contempt at his friends and the members of the Order.

"Such a major disappointment, not to say a big waste of my time!"

"Wait a moment, Tanya!" Remus stepped forward in defense of his companions' honor.

"First of all, have you any idea how many of your unreasonable orders we had to take all this year?!"

"As your BOSS, I didn't demand anything you couldn't do!"

"Yes, you did! Today! You can't expect us to go down to the death eaters' level! We aren't killers-"

"BOMBARDA!"

No one anticipated what happened next; it was too unbelievable, largely because of who had done it.

"Longbottom, you…!" Tanya herself couldn't have predicted Neville taking it upon himself to free the world from Bellatrix Lestrange, regardless, the tiny PIECES that remained of her stood as undeniable proof.

"… made me so proud!" While most were utterly speechless, a wide smile blossomed on Tanya's face.

"…"

"Amazing, very impressive indeed!"

"…"

"I am so glad! All my work wasn't in vain! I managed to create one soldier if nothing else!"

"…!" Neville dropped to his knees and began to retch.

"… or maybe not!" Tanya shrugged, reverting to her frustrated mood.

"What… what have I done…?! Mum! Dad! Gran!" Neville began to cry, and that was the cue for Mrs. Weasley to envelop the boy in a comforting hug.

"Shh! It's alright! You did what we all wished we could have done!"

"… what I should have done!"

"Thanks to you, she won't hurt more people!"

"I-I didn't think of it… I just wanted to avenge my parents!"

"Well, in this case, you applied justice! You should be proud of yourself!"

"Gran… it would be a let down to her… I am crying like a baby! Sob!"

"Of course not! My boy, even the toughest Aurors can cry sometimes! She will understand!"

"Aurors… and soldiers… eventually, they break with all the killing they have to do…" Harry was suddenly reminded of the day he went into Professor Dumbledore's pensieve and glimpsed Tanya's past.

'I will never find forgiveness, I am condemned to relive those horrendous days for the rest of my days!'

"I am so stupid!" He comprehended this must be why she wanted to have someone else killing for her: to avoid adding more sorrow to her already heavy heart. It was her dear wish to have her husband fulfilling his duty in protecting her.

"And I… let her down! Because I am a coward!" Harry could take no more. With everyone distracted by Neville, he took his chance and ran away.

"Sirius is dead because I am a coward!" He simply ran off, trying to escape from his cowardice.

"Neville is suffering because I am a coward!" He kept his gaze on the ground, not looking back or ahead, only raising his eyes when a door appeared in front of him.

"Tanya is disgusted with me because I am a COWARD!" This was the worst part: he couldn't ease any burden for his wife.

"And there is the prophecy! How will I kill Voldemort if-" In his hurry, he crashed into someone and tumbled over.

"Sorry-"

"Where is my prophecy, Potter?!"

Harry's voice caught in his throat; taking a peek up, he found himself eye-to-eye with Lord Voldemort.

"The orb was destroyed by the princess, I see…"

"How does he know?!"

"And she killed all my death eaters? Including Bella?! AHHHH! If she wasn't so precious…!"

"He is reading my thoughts!"

"Hmm… how about this, Potter? Since my Bella is dead, I will take your wife as compensation?"

"YOU WON'T TOUCH TANYA-"

"No! He is tricking me!" Harry realized that Voldemort aimed to anger him, making him so distracted he wouldn't protect his mind from new invasions.

"Focus! I can't show him anything more!"

"Pff! As if an inept boy could ever learn Occlumency- what?!" The moment he tried another attempt to probe Harry's thoughts, he failed.

"Not Occlumency, this is the princess' shield!"

"Not nearly as powerful as her's but it should prevent him from getting the prophecy from my mind… I hope!"

"Humpf! I underestimated you, I must concede… however, the prophecy is worthless if you aren't alive!" Quickly, he picked up Harry by his neck.

"ACK!"

"Now, be a good boy and die- !" He jumped away just as a cutting spell hit the spot where he had been, resulting in him dropping Harry in the process.

"Get away from Harry!" His wife stood before him in a protective stance.

"Gasp! T-Tanya… I am sorry-"

"GET UP!" She yelled without turning around to face him.

"Rather than feeling sorry for yourself, help me defeat him once and for all!"

"R-right!" Harry stood up and braced himself.

"From what I got from the prophecy, all I have to do is fire the last spell!" At least this once, he must overcome his cowardice.

"If we win here, no one else will have to die… or kill!" Gradually, the couple created distance between themselves to exert pressure on the Dark Lord from two angles.

"Are you trying to attack me, my princess?! What a surprise, last time you were so behaved!"

Tanya had informed Harry that her fear of Voldemort was based on a misunderstanding and it wouldn't hold her back again.

"I will make you regret giving my wand back!"

"Oh, well! You leave me no choice except to answer in kind." From his sleeve, Voldemort produced a pale reddish-brown wand.

"Potter! I am taking you down first- hum?!" As he was about to strike Harry, Voldemort's hand suddenly jerked and sent a spell toward Tanya.

"AHHH!"

"TANYA!" The spell struck her shield, breaking it and knocking her backward.

"Ugh! It was too fast! Can't have been an unforgivable- WHAT?!" In horror, they both saw that her left arm had been transformed into stone.

"That was the same with Fudge's wand during our hearing!"

"How curious, it worked so well on Cephalopos! Why does it turn wild around you?!" It was almost as if he were engaging in an internal monologue; Voldemort explained how he had kidnapped the wand maker Cephalopos to craft another wand from Slytherin's basilisk. Naturally, to ensure he possessed a one-of-a-kind wand, he eliminated its creator shortly afterward.

"Do forgive me, my precious! All I wanted was a powerful wand made of my basilisk, I didn't believe a piece of wood would actually hate you!" It appeared as though Voldemort was telling the truth; in fact, he was struggling to keep the wand pointed away from Tanya.

"AAAAAHHHH! STUPID DISOBEDIENT PIECE OF RUBBISH!" He glared at Harry, trying to point it at him.

"IT'S POTTER WHO MUST BE KILLED-"

"You are killing no one, Tom."

"Dumbledore!" The dark lord turned with a look of fright at the calm voice of his greatest enemy.

"It is over, the Aurors are on the way."

"They are going to find your corpse- GRRR?!" His wand remained ineffective, as it wouldn't turn away from Tanya.

"I SAID TO OBEY TO MY- AAARRGGHHH!" Tanya's cutting spell had at last hit its mark.

"Professor! I will attract his wand to me! Try to wound him as much as you can!"

"Very well, Mrs Potter!" Professor Dumbledore drew his wand, and although he appeared serene, Harry could sense that he was ready to fight seriously.

"Tanya! Are you okay?"

"Not a problem, one arm is all I need! Harry, wait for an opening to do what only you can!"

"Y-yes!"

"Three against one, huh?!" Despite his injured left shoulder, his wand's refusal to obey, and the overwhelming disadvantage, the Dark Lord showed no sign of flinching.

"HUHUHU! How about I even the odds?" Voldemort then fixed his gaze directly on Harry's eyes.

"!" He found himself paralyzed, unable to move a muscle. As abruptly, his scar ignited with the same searing pain he had suffered last year after the nightmares and in the cemetery. He tried to scream, but his voice refused to come. The world around him darkened, as though he had been transported to another room, one devoid of light. Something, resembling the coils of a serpent, wrapped around him, tightening its grip and suffocating him.

"I… can't break free!" He was utterly helpless, the mere act of thinking was starting to become difficult.

"Try to kill me now Dumbledore!" He heard someone speaking, and it eerily resembled his own voice.

"What- what is happening?!" In the distance, a girl gave a shout filled with desperation.

"Who…? She sounds familiar…"

"Good grief! I was led to believe that their connection was completely severed last year! I was careless!"

"Hehehe! Come on, princess! Attack your beloved husband!"

"… beloved…? This girl is my beloved…? URGH!" For a fleeting second, Harry was able to speak once more.

"What was that?"

"Remember what I said months ago, Mrs Potter? He can't understand love! For him, it is an anomaly!"

"I see! HARRY! Remember me! REMEMBER US!"

"… us? Who is this- ah?" A vision flashed before him of a girl gracefully floating down from the heavens, she offered her hand and, for the first time, there was warmth in his life.

"Who is… she…?" Despite not being able to recall her name, his heart raced faster and faster.

"ARRRGGGHHH! STOP!"

"Mrs Potter, you must continue! I suggest you give him some stimuli!"

"Y-you mean- UGH! Damn boy always giving me so much trouble!" Harry felt lips touching his.

"I… know… this… kiss…" They weren't the lips of just any girl, like Cho Chang, who would ruin the mood with her tears. No, these lips belonged to a fierce and strong girl, the one he loved more than anyone else in the world, his wife.

"Right! She is my wife, my… TANYA!" Memories flooded Harry's thoughts, filled with their shared moments, their kisses, and their lovemaking.

"IIIITTTT HUUURRTTTSSSS!" He ignored the screaming in his mind, deepening the kiss. Sadly, as he was about to lose himself completely, she pulled away, returning him to the cold reality.

"What- Where… am I…?!" He noticed he wasn't in the dark room with the serpent anymore.

"Are you all right, Harry?" Dumbledore asked.

"I…" He sensed his thoughts clearing, bringing his memories back, and… there she was, Tanya, resting his head on her lap.

"… couldn't be better!" He replied with a smile, lifting his hand to tenderly cup her cheek, prompting a faint blush to rise on her face.

"D-DID YOU SEE THAT?!"

"IT WAS HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED!"

"HE IS BACK!"

Once more, Harry ignored the screams around him. He shut his eyes, savoring the warmth of his wife.

---

"Hurry, Dolores!" Fudge insisted to Umbridge as they ran to the ministry.

"I-I am going as fast as I can!"

"Speed up, will you?! We must catch Dumbledore and the Potters in the act!" The worst fear he had harbored all year had come to pass: his enemies were on the brink of usurping his position, threatening to strip away everything he had fought so hard to achieve.

After being defeated by Tanya Potter, the two were imprisoned in Azkaban of all places. Exactly as she had done two years earlier, she established her authority over the creatures by taking the lives of some of them.

'GWAHAHAHA! Keep them here! And no one leaves again without my permission! HAHAHAHA!' As he listened to the princess's maniacal laughter, Fudge understood that the Dementors would never relent; they had been subjected to fear themselves.

To complicate things further, the two were confined in a deep part of the prison where so many Dementors lurked that no wizard or witch would dare come close, much less hear the minister's screams.

Finally, a few hours ago, the Dementors had receded, giving him and his undersecretary a chance to escape. It was no simple feat, as they also had to swim back to the mainland before managing to Apparate away without their wands.

"I will catch that little WHORE and make her regret being born! I know what she fears!" Dolores said for the umpteenth time.

"She will fear ME when I use the full force of magical Britain to-"

"AH! THERE IS THE MINISTER!" The moment they entered the building, they were swarmed by reporters.

"Minister! Why haven't you taken any action yet?!"

"Are you going to apologize to Dumbledore and Harry Potter?"

"Are you ashamed of your campaign against their warnings about He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's return?!"

"What nonsense are you talking about?! He isn't back!" Fudge was taken aback by the disbelief on their faces; previously, they had accepted his words without question, but now they looked at him as if he was a lunatic.

"I wish I could have your disposition to delude yourself, Fudge! Perhaps then, I wouldn't be so alarmed with the dark days over us!" All eyes were drawn to the newcomer, Rufus Scrimgeour, the head of the Auror Office and a political adversary of Fudge.

"My people, as you can see we need a new minister for magic! To face this great threat, we must have a warrior to lead us, to defend our liberty!" The reporters cheered loudly for him while photographers wildly snapped photos.

"And certainly, it must be someone who has no accusations of corruption!"

Cornelius Fudge was at a loss for words; he realized this must be part of Tanya Potter's plot. However, lacking any knowledge of what had transpired during his absence, he was unable to defend himself or retaliate.

"You insolent! Watch your tone as you speak with Minister Cornelius Fudge!" He appreciated his undersecretary for still possessing the resolve to fight for him.

"Aren't you Madam Umbridge…?"

"Yes! I am Dolores Umbridge! Undersecretary of the minister for magic, Hogwarts high inquisitor-"

"I see, it's so kind of you to turn yourself in to us." Scrimgeour waved his hand, and she was quickly encircled by Aurors.

"Dolores Jane Umbridge, you are under arrest!"

"W-what?! Why?!"

"You know very well why, you vile woman! Terrorizing children…! Take her to Azkaban!"

"NO! DON'T SEND ME BACK THERE! CORNELIUS, HELP ME!" He could only watch helplessly as his last ally was returned to the prison they had just escaped.

"By the way, Cornelius… didn't you receive the memo for the hearing?" Fudge felt a tight knot in his stomach at Scrimgeour's smugness.

"W-what hearing…?"

"Why? The one where we decided your IMPEACHMENT." The deposed Minister sank to his knees.

"I knew this day would come… on that night one year ago…" Scrimgeour, Dumbledore, Potter, and even the Dark Lord, none were as great a threat to him as the little princess. With her sage aura, the dignity of a queen, and the class of a proper lady… the one he saw shining like a goddess, brighter than he could ever hope to rival.

---

"How much I wish she could just KILL Potter to regain her life back!" At Hogwarts, Severus Snape grumbled in irritation while reading the texts before him.

'… everything in my power to make my dear husband happy…!'

"I think I am gonna puke!" Following months and months of studying ancient tomes, he had hit a dead end in his quest. He found nothing in the old legends about spells to resurrect the dead, much less how to cure a witch who had performed it. This led him to shift his focus to the writings of a scholar who explored theories of magical energy, akin to what Tanya referred to as 'mana'.

"Why bother in the first place?! It's doubtful Tanya will leave Potter, with or without a new mystical organ…" It was merely a small hope that her independent soul would outweigh her love for the boy.

"In any case…"

'… my heart aches, all my spells filled with my eternal love cannot heal him…'

"… those lovesick ramblings are worth a dustbin!" Instead of focusing on magic, most of the texts reflected the author's love life.

"Unbelievable! To think there was a witch even more infatuated with her husband than Tanya- huh?" He was ready to discard it when a paragraph grabbed his attention.

'… to cure my beloved's illness, I had to give him a portion of my own life energy…'

"THIS IS…!"

'… my body lacks the ability to sustain itself, I need to be constantly receiving energy from him as much as his warm affection…'

Suddenly, he was able to withstand the sappiness.

'… although I adore him, it's too inconvenient to remain this way…'

"Come on! Tell me you found a cure!"

'… all my hard work to find a solution to our situation was in vain…'

"Curses!"

'… instead, the cure came to me in the most wonderful way…!'

"What- YES!"

'… it was bound to happen, especially since I am a witch, as most of us eventually…' Snape reached the bottom of the page and, filled with excitement, turned to the next one with a trembling hand.

"The cure! Let's see- WHAT?!" The smile left his face the moment he saw a certain single, dreaded word.

"…" He fixed his gaze on the ceiling for a minute, then pinched the bridge of his nose as a headache began to set in.

"Thinking back, after studying Tanya's theories about mana, this is the natural answer indeed…" He closed shut the diary.

"She would be trading a shackle for another- no, this would tie her to Potter FOREVER!" He tugged his hair at the despairing thoughts of his little girl meeting the same fate as Lily: ending her days as a POTTER.

"No! Somewhere, there must be another cure! But, where to find it?!" He looked around, as though the answer might be lying there… maybe with the latest issue of the Daily Prophet.

'… Sirius Black was an unfortunate causality…' Rereading the text, he found himself lamenting Black's demise. Not out of fondness for the man; rather, he had secretly entertained the idea of one day taking him down with his own hands.

"Never gonna happen now…" He brushed aside these fantasies as he picked up the newspaper.

'… despite numerous eyewitnesses, Minister Cornelius Fudge continued to feign ignorance…'

"The press began a crusade to crucify Fudge, exactly as Tanya planned." This was one of Kingsley's tasks, to uncover any signs of corruption and bring them to light, making way for a new minister, one that Tanya hoped would cooperate with her.

'… his undersecretary was arrested over multiple charges of abuse of authority… forced three magical beasts to do her bidding…' In Umbridge's case, Tanya required a scapegoat to push all of Hogwarts to their limits.

"To turn children into soldiers, she had said." However, a few hours earlier, she had reached out to him to express her loss of faith in this plan, stating that, in truth, she considered the Order of the Phoenix to be useless as well.

"She seemed unusually angry and I believe it wasn't because her arm was turned to stone…"

'In a horrifying turn of events, it was discovered that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is back…they have been exposed to ridicule, the hero couple… the dark lord tried to control the young Potter's mind only to be rescued by the kiss of love from his wife… '

"Perhaps, she blames the Order for letting Potter be possessed?" His eyes wandered to the moving picture of the couple kissing.

"That must be the case! Anyone who can't safeguard her 'dear husband' is useless!" He retracted his earlier statement; there was no witch more in love than Tanya.

"In other words, I really don't need to bother! At the peak of their happiness, their love will produce the cure Tanya needs!" He would have to come to terms with the inevitable…

'Oh, Harry! I love you so much! You gave me two presents on the same day!'

"NO! I DEFINITELY CAN'T LET SUCH A FUTURE BECOME REALITY!" Even knowing about Tanya's feelings, he clung to the small hope she would finally see reason.

"She is a smart girl! I am sure someday she will! And I must do my part…" He set the diary aside, wishing he could burn it. Sadly, it was an expensive item from their library.

"I will find the true cure! And in doing so, rid her of the most pernicious affliction which has ever befallen her: that insufferable boy, HARRY POTTER!"

---

Tanya and Harry were granted permission to return directly home to Grimmauld Place, skipping the end of the school year at Hogwarts as they had some work back home.

Harry was grateful for Tanya as she took the unpleasant job of preparing Sirius' funeral.

At first, the boy thought he was better but arriving back home and seeing the empty house, knowing that Sirius would never greet him, the harsh reality hit him. Funny enough, he didn't cry, not even once.

"Sirius died because of me… and I blamed my wife…" These thoughts remained with him the entire night. His wife, being so tired, didn't notice he didn't sleep beside her.

"I can't be with her… I am unworthy…"

"Harry, I am back!"

"Ah…? Welcome home…"

"I have finished with the… preparations."

"I see… thank you…"

"And look!" She showed him her healed arm.

"Apart from some stiffness, the Mandrake Restorative Draught did its job!"

"… I am glad for you…"

"What about you? How is your scar?"

"It doesn't hurt anymore…" Unfortunately, there was part of him that hurt much more than his scar ever did.

"You don't have to worry, our little show left Voldemort scared-shit! I doubt he will attempt the same trick with you!" Dumbledore explained that Voldemort could possess Harry due to lingering traces of his horcrux, which should disappear completely over time.

"Hehehe! Wish you had seen it! He ran away screaming in pain! It was our absolute victory!"

"…" He didn't say anything and simply turned his eyes to the floor.

"Not thanks to me…"

"Harry…" Peeking back at his wife, he saw that she had concern written all over her pretty face.

"… tell me what is in your mind."

"I… there is a hollowness inside me!" A dark painful hole in the place Sirius had been. He had been brutally shown that it wasn't just the women in his life who met tragic ends.

"This is normal; take it easy, you'll start feeling better before long."

Harry sincerely doubted it was the case, the only way for him to recover would be if Sirius came back to life.

"Ah! Tanya… isn't there any way for you… to do the same you did with me…?" His wife twisted her face into a frown.

"Don't ask for the impossible! That was a very particular case and I am still suffering the consequences!"

"T-then- Hey! Maybe he did come back! As a ghost!"

"I already explained what ghosts truly are!" With two hopes quickly shot down, the boy returned to his depression.

"… I am sorry for saying it was your fault!"

"No, it's fine, really." Tanya shook her head.

"I demanded too much from you and your friends." She took a seat beside him and took his hand in hers.

"There was no way a group of normal school children would become my new 203rd Aerial Mage Battalion or Salamander Kampfgruppe…" She sighed.

"Heck, not even the Order of the Phoenix could do that in the end!"

"Is it that bad…?"

"Voldemort revealed himself to the world, meaning you will see firsthand what I have known for a while: WAR! And our side has no soldiers!"

"… more people… innocent people are going to die… and kill…?"

"I am afraid so, yes."

"Will I have to kill people, too?!"

"At least Voldemort! And there can't be any hesitation, you can't afford to have me or Longbotom killing him for you!"

Harry couldn't help cursing Trelawney and her damn prophecies in his mind.

"No… I can't take it anymore! I want out!"

"Sorry, there is no way for you to escape from this."

"Please… I don't want this anymore… I… I… it hurts so much!" It was unfair, Tanya herself said he was a normal boy, he couldn't be a soldier. And in moments like these, he wished he wasn't a wizard.

"Come here, Harry…" His wife tenderly cradled his head and pressed a kiss to his lips.

"Let me give you all that I can: a bit of comfort." She began to undress until she was left naked in front of him.

"Tanya…! Sob!" At last, the tears came out, but they were of happiness, for having such a kind and loving wife.

"Thank you… thank you so much for loving me!" Harry held her tightly as if his life depended on it, and within moments, he was burying his sorrow in her embrace…

---

Hours later, as Harry finally slept peacefully, Tanya lay awake, contemplating her next move.

"I am back where I started, fighting a war to get a chance to live in peace afterward." At the same time, under entirely different circumstances: she stands no chance of getting a job in the rear, plus the strategy she once relied on would be naive against the Death Eaters.

"I can't crush the enemy's ability to continue fighting or sign a treaty. There is no way to negotiate favorable terms with terrorists." She groaned; things were getting increasingly difficult for her. This year, in particular, was the worst of her new life, the one where she lost all hope of returning home.

"All That I have left is to live… as a woman! And SHACKLED to Being X's new apostle!" With these thoughts, she turned to her sleeping husband, she caressed his face, and lowered her hands until they rested on his neck.

"How easy it would be to choke the life out of you!" Lamentably, she couldn't have him breaking down before he completed his most important task. Besides, she had a newfound pleasure in the current hobby of thinking about the more painful ways to kill him.

"Hehehe!" She couldn't suppress the feral grin that spread across her face at the simple thought of Harry Potter reduced to more pieces than Bellatrix Lestrange.

"Oh! How far have I fallen! To think a civilized person such as myself would become unburdened with the act of killing- pffff!" She had to stop herself from breaking into laughter.

"No, looking back, I never gave a damn to other people's lives at all…" The salaryman had thought he had to compensate all his complexes by abiding by the rules, all to avoid ostracism, to establish a place in society, and to have a chance at a long, prosperous, and happy life.

"All my devoted HYPOCRISY and for what? To end up DEAD! THRICE! And to be almost RAPED! ALSO THRICE!" Plus, a poltergeist lurking around, dead set in turning her into another of the many ANIMALS who prioritized primal emotion over logic.

"Very well, I will comply! I shall become the most savage PREDATOR!" She decided to allow herself a 'temporary leave' of reason and logic, to KILL anyone who stands in her way, be it innocent or not.

'… an overly emotive person like you…' She was aware that her other self was merely babbling an excuse to back-stab her, but she ultimately guessed correctly: she had succumbed to her emotions. Nonetheless, she no longer cared if she became Tanya, the overly sentimental; Tanya, the sociopath; or even TANYA, THE EVIL.

"… mmmhhh… Tanya… love you…" Tanya was pulled back to reality by her husband's sweet words.

"Ah, Harry…!" She planted a gentle kiss on his lips. He responded with a satisfied moan in his sleep, blissfully unaware that his wife was planning his dismissal in a more definitive way than divorce.

"… as soon as Voldemort gives his last breath, I will rip the mystical organ from your dead body for myself!" With those joyful thoughts in mind, Tanya settled into bed, ready to sleep beside her enemy while having nice dreams about her impending life as a widow…

End of Arc 5

AN: And that concludes the arc… Ahhh… after three years, it's almost over! Just the last interlude, the final arc with eight chapters, an epilogue, an extra story, and then the last epilogue… and finally I'll be free! I will start working on these simultaneously, meaning that there is a chance that there will be no new chapter this year, and if so, maybe only in December.

Sorry this took so long, but as I was about to publish this chapter I found out that I hated it, so I decided to restart from zero. And, I realize that the size of the chapters of this arc became too disproportionate, so I plan to redistribute their contents to have chapters of the same size. I will do this before publishing the next one. Still on this matter, some people said the last chapter wasn't great; I apologize for that, I really rushed it. As I mentioned, I miscalculated this arc; it became larger than I expected, and I ended up using a single chapter to cover about seven months. I'm sorry! Maybe someday I'll redo it.

Regarding the labels on the prophecy balls, they contain the initials of the person who created them, the initials of the one who heard them, and the names of the individuals involved. For example: S.P.T. to T. V. D. Dark Lord and (?) Peter Pettigrew. This was made by Sybill Patricia Trelawney for Tanya Von Degurechaff, indicating that the servant must return to the Dark Lord or something worse could happen. The '(?)' before Peter Pettigrew's name signifies that his identity as the servant would only be confirmed later.

I want to thank everyone for the reviews! As of now, I have over 500 reviews on FF dot net! I'd like to take this opportunity to share my dream: I've always wanted my fanfic to achieve success. By success, I mean I hope to get ten times the reviews per chapter. In other words, I believe this fanfiction will conclude at chapter 60, so I aim for at least 600 reviews by the time it's finished.

Next chapter: The last interlude, which will be my own version of the Cursed Child play. However, it will feature Scorpius Malfoy as the main character (because I like him) instead of Albus Potter (whom I dislike). And we will finally meet the OVERLORD.