Under the pillow I'd hidden the small diary my mother had given me when Jacen recovered the last of the Deathly Hallows. My fingers reached for it now, flipping the pages yellowed with age desperately. It was a long shot, but what if Mum had a spell that could wake her up or revive Jacen?

I flipped through the familiar jinxes, several of them quite nasty. Still, the spiky script of my mother's handwriting was comforting to me as my finger traced over loops and lines like my own. I then came across part I hadn't read-Alice Potter's Guide to Shadow Charmers.

Daddy had said that he'd teach me and Jaysa everything in that book. Now he can't, not from a cell in the ministry, awaiting trial.

You shouldn't. I pushed the thought out of my mind. It's my birthright. I should be able to find more. Be more. It's my choice.

My eyes scanned the pages, looking for new information. I knew how to shadow-travel, to Shade Walk, to bind others to my command, and even how to unleash a dark energy that left nothing in its path. But what more could I learn?

I was finding that out quickly. Unlocking doors, dropping the temperature in the room, manipulating the light in the room, even the color, and certain creatures could come to my command.

But nothing would help me raise the dead. I threw the book across the room in frustration. I wanted him to celebrate another birthday, see another beautiful sunrise, see Mum wake up and Dad come back to us. Jaysa deserved it all. I deserved none of it.

I shot straight up, and walked over to the small mirror on the dresser. I hated every inch of me. My tangled black hair, my stupid androgynous face that reminded me too much of my brother, my disheveled clothes, my too-big dark eyes, everything. I tugged at my hair sharply, not sure what else there really was to do.

I glared at my reflection. I knew exactly what I could do. I was snapping out of this. I already saw the slightly annoyed looks on Al, Lily, and especially James' face. I wasn't going to cry anymore.

I grabbed my wand and grabbed a handful of my hair.

"Diffindo!"

A cascade of hair fell to the floor, and I let go of my fistful. Now at my shoulders and uneven in places, it was much better, in my opinion. I swished and flicked like in class, and all the hairs floated into the wastebin.

I then opened my trunk to change into different clothes. A t-shirt, a button down with the sleeves rolled up, and then either cargo pants or jeans that had been ripped through various adventures. I opted for the cargo pants, and then laced up my sneakers.

I shoved my wand down my pocket and raced down the stairs. I cut through the living room, forgetting that that was where most of the family hung out.

Jaws dropped, and Grandmother Lily almost fainted.

"What? What's wrong?" I asked.

Grandmother Lily's eyes widened and she placed a hand over her heart.

"I thought you were. . ."

"Jacen?" I raised an eyebrow. "Well, sorry to disappoint. Now if you'll excuse me-"

"Just what did you do to your hair young lady?" Ginny demanded.

"I cut it," I said with a shrug.

"I'm going to have to grow it back," Ginny groaned.

I frowned. "Leave my hair alone. You're not my mum!"

With that, I stomped off to the outdoors. Caedus soared over to me.

"I want to leave, Caedus. I just want to get on a broom and never come back," I said, even though I knew he couldn't hear me. "I just wish someone was here."

With that, Caedus screeched and flew away.

After another uncomfortable family dinner including Ginny nagging at my hair, discussion on Daddy's upcoming hearing, and how in a week we'd be going back to Hogwarts and had to go to Diagon Alley again, I trudged up the stairs. In my room, I wad greeted to Caedus sitting on my desk, looking proud of himself. I took a scroll from him, and my jaw dropped.

If you want to get your brother back, meet me at midnight in front of your brother's grave.