You know, growing up there was this friend I had who lived down the street from me, and his mother would make sweet rolls all the time for us.

I was never sure exactly what they were called, they were kinda like cinnamon rolls but with a sweet lemon flavor to them with the cinnamon (I think it was lemon icing or something) and she'd always put her heart into the task.

They were my favorite.

She even told me I could come over any time and she'd make me some, and of course if you know me then you'll know never asked or took her up on that offer. I wasn't one to impose.

I guess it had to do with the way I was raised, I always had good manners and never took advantage of anybody, not only because I was taught not to but because it felt wrong... hell itwaswrong.

Even though she offered I still felt bad about it so I never stopped by uninvited, but... at least somebody liked me, yeah?

I recoiled at the thought of just stopping by and asking for sweet rolls.

It was a nice gesture for her to offer but I never would've paid a visit and asked, like I'd said.

And you know, those sweet rolls were the best I'd had, they were warm and sweet.

Just like Esdeath.

Ugh… I had to try to distract myslef from her sometimes because I'd get so many emotions welling up in my heart and I couldn't think and I would actually get really bad, I don't know.. panic attacks? I'm not sure how to describe them, but I'd get very upset if she wasn't around if I began thinking too fondly of her.

A thousand emotions would hit me all at once, and yeah sure, I'm a resilient guy, but she made me go soft.

I had to contain myself and it was hard sometimes.

She was too nice to me and I didn't deserve her in my life. She made me feel comfortable, all the time whenever she was around she made me feel comfortable, be it her affectionate nature like hugging me or kissing my head, putting her hand on my shoulder or her tight loving embraces, or just her presence,she comforted me.

It was hurtful to remember days past when I tried dating but I think this is worth a mention; One time a long time ago I tried to court someone who I had really liked, only to be rejected, and while you might say this normal and I would agree, she made sure to make me feel bad, and without going into too much detail she told me she already had a special person in her life and didn't want to make them uncomfortable, and that I was at fault… that I was trouble for her.

I apologized and said I didn't mean to do any harm but that didn't seem to satisfy her and she made me feel real bad.

It was a little jarring to me afterwards, I never meant to be any trouble but I felt I was for her. I later on realized it wasn't all that fair for her to be that way, she had led me on… but I'm not gonna go into it, I just felt really bad about it all and felt I never would have anyone special in my life… like there was nobody for me out there.

But Esdeath.. always back to her. I was her special someone, I was the person she comforted and loved and wanted in her life.

Finally for once in my lifetime I was somebody's only love…

I was her one and only.

Oh Esdeath..

All my worries disappeared when she was here..

It's hard recounting all those past days but I was alright with it now.

Today was a new day, and I was awake sitting at the end of the .

I got my bearings and looked out the window to my left, it looked like a nice day outside.

Then I heard her coming from the other room.

Esdeath.

I quickly laid back down since I didn't wanna spoil the moment, I know it sounds silly but I just wanted to know her better and see what she was doing while she thought I was asleep.

Oh Esdeath.

Sorry I'm gushing over her. She causes my heart to feel warm and joyful.

I heard her walk back next to the bed and stop for a moment, then she climbed onto the bed and looked down at me directly from above my head. It was kinda creepy to be honest the way she was doing it, and I could feel her long pretty blue hair touching the back of my head a little as she did it.

But I liked it. I liked her when she was being creepy.

It was kinda difficult for pretty women to be creepy anyway wasn't it? Haha…

She was pretty.

She then pulled the blanket up farther to my shoulder and tucked it in around my sides, then got off the bed and left the room.

God, she was… she was the sweetest woman in the whole world she really was.

I kinda didn't wanna move the blanket since she put it there for me, I know that may sound weird but when you love someone you don't wanna undo some of the things they do, because they're special.

You know, like… well the best thing I can compare to is if someone you love gave you something you wouldn't wanna get rid of it right? Yeah same thing.

It wasn't long before she came back and sat back down on the side of the bed.

After a few minutes of not hearing or feeling her move I turned my head to look over my shoulder and saw her sitting on her side just staring off with her back to me, sitting straight up like she usually sat with her perfect posture, never slouching.

Just sitting there, that's all she was doing.

She was odd, but I loved her, so I loved even the odd things about her.

I just lied there with my back to her knowing she was there, it was like she was my protector.

She was always there for me, Esdeath… she was a true friend to me and so much more.

I couldn't stand it any longer… I gathered all my strength and rose from the bed, undoing the loving work she had done ensuring I was properly covered with the blanket.

I scooted back against the headboard and it was obvious by the sound it made that I was awake but she never moved, she just sat quiet at the side of the bed.

She was wearing her pajamas, her long silk shirt and that was all. Her pretty blue hair went all the way down and was splayed out on the bed behind her. She had a lot of hair and it was very long.

I expected she'd turn to face me but she kept still.

This was pretty off putting to me so I chimed in and asked, "Hey you, what're you doing over there all by yourself?" and after a few seconds she turned her head to her side but didn't look directly at me.

I clutched the covers and pulled them towards myself not sure what she was thinking… she was acting quite strange and even though I knew her I hadn't spent enough time to learn everything about her personal habits and other things about her character.

I mean.. I wasn't afraid she'd do anything crazy.. I ummm, I hoped so at least. Not that I'd mind if she grabbed a chain and put it around my neck again, haha, I really didn't.

I enjoyed the things like that she did to me. But I'm getting off topic, so she was kind of giving me a side eye and I spoke again to her, "Hey um, are you okay.. Esdeath?". She didn't move.

She was such a goofball.

She took a moment before turning completely to look at me and she wore a mildly sad look on her face, her pretty hair moving perfectly with her face.

I didn't know what to make of it, she looked me in the eye but it was like she was sad about something.

I shifted my position and sat up straighter and spoke again, "Esdeath what's wrong?"

She pulled her legs onto the bed and slowly moved towards me on all fours, and I clutched the covers out of instinct, but I knew she meant me no harm… she was my friend. So I opened up to her.

"What're you doing you big goofball?" I quipped before I let go of the covers and moved myself closer, leaning towards her as she reached me, looking at me like she was, well… I didn't know what she was thinking she just looked worried if anything.

I got on my knees and moved up and stopped inches from her face, she was just staring at me and I stated back, her mouth slightly agape she just stared back at me.

Her eyes were so incredibly beautiful you wouldn't believe.

After a few seconds I grabbed her by the shoulder and pulled her into a hug. She wrapped her long arms around me soon after and squeezed me tightly.

After a long embrace she looked at me still holding me firmly by the arms and went on to say, "I- I'm… I'm sorry I just-" she ran her fingers through her hair then through my hair feeling every inch of my head, "I was thinking to myself and I just couldn't come to terms with the fact you're here with me if you can believe it." she kept adjusting her hair, "I thought it was- all just a dream."

Really? Now that was unexpected although, I wasn't sure exactly what she meant. I gave her a look as if to tell her to elaborate, and she said, "I woke up and went for a walk last night, I- I thought this was all just a dream.. you and me.. because I didn't see you lying there and I didn't think… think we actually even met, I thought it was all a dream."

She looked kind of worried still, "I was half asleep when I got up to walk and I thought of you and I just felt it wasn't real, it was dark and I thought I just saw an empty bed and I got upset that it was all a dream, I thought it was."

"I'm right here Esdeath. Don't worry yourself."

"I felt like going up to where they keep the gallows and just-"

"No!" I interrupted her, "Don't you ever do something like that again Esdeath. Don't you ever think that way again."

Damn I felt like a moron the way I said it but I meant it. The gallows? Was she kidding?

Her gaze fell to the bed and shame swept over her face, "Don't you even think about leaving me here alone.. don't you ever Esdeath." I lifted her head by her chin to face me and grabbed her arm hard but not so much as to hurt her, "Esdeath don't you ever say that, I-" I took a deep breath to calm my nerves and continued, "Look I need you here… I need you j- just please, please don't ever say that again, Esdeath."

I shook her and quipped at her again, "Please?"

She kept a blank expression on her face for a moment then a devious smile grew on her face and she said, "You're very sweet."

What? Was she screwing with me?

"Esdeath-" she started laughing.

Ugh, she was frustrating. Telling me a tall tale like that? That was what this was right?

She turned back to me after laughing and quipped, "Okay, well I was kinda worried I'd dreamt it all soon as I woke up but it was just for a second, I'm a seasoned and trained killer there's no way I wouldn't know you were there kid."

I gave her an annoyed look but it only fed her ego and made her chuckle.

She put her hand on my shoulder and with her other hand messed up my hair really fast making it all messy, running her hand back and forth across my head. After telling her, "St- stop!" in an annoyed tone she kissed me on the cheek faster than I saw it coming. I wrapped my arms around her neck and we embraced tightly. I couldn't stay mad at her.

She teased me and grabbed me from behind and laid on her side pulling me down, closer to her and we cuddled like that for a little while.

Just her and me. Me and Esdeath.

My Esdeath.