Chapter 2: College Era
(Part 1)

March 8, 2015

Hearing the sighing for the nth time that afternoon, Bucky couldn't help but look at Steve, who gloomily stared ahead with his brows scrunching in contemplation. He looked away from his best friend and shook his head.

Another sigh comes up, making Bucky whip his head to look back at Steve and give him a hard, deadly stare. Unknown to Steve himself, he sighs again.

"Okay! That's it!" Bucky suddenly stops, making the blonde student stop in his tracks and stunned glanced at his best friend.

"What? What happened?" Steve curiously asks.

Bucky snorts a laugh before glaring at the blonde. "What happened? You're asking me what happened?"

"Yeah," Steve shrugs his shoulders, "You're the one who's suddenly shouting there,"

"Me?!" Bucky points to himself as he widens his eyes in astonishment. He then breaks into laughter, making Steve furrow his brow in confusion with the way Bucky was reacting.

"Buck—"

"Have you heard yourself?" Bucky cuts off the blonde. With a confused face of Steve, Bucky knew the boy was clueless, "You've been sighing the whole time, like in the span of two minutes, you've sighed three times! Three!"

Steve was silent and suddenly it dawned on him. He had been sighing the whole day. Unbeknownst to himself, he sighs again as he looks down at his shoes and scrunches his face in thinking.

"Okay, what is the problem?" Bucky suddenly asks, snapping him out of his thoughts.

Steve looked up at him and thought about telling him the problem that is preoccupying his mind. He has a month left until it's Peggy's birthday. Until now, he isn't sure what to give his long-distance best friend.

"Um…" Steve gulps the growing knot in his throat. "Nothing really, just a project I'm worried about,"

"A project?" Bucky questions, taken aback as this was the least problem he'd hear from the blonde, "I thought you're done with your projects?"

Steve internally scolds himself as he forgot that he had mentioned this to the brunette. He really was bad at making lies, "Um, yeah-no, I uh…I totally forgot about this one project in one of my subjects and I have like…a month or less to submit it,"

"Oh…" Bucky curiously stares at him before he nods his head, "Well, you've got to slow down in your part-time job to avoid forgetting about these things," he then claps a hand on Steve's shoulder and nudged him to continue walking as they headed to their shared apartment.

As the two walked silently again, Bucky realized that Steve didn't actually answer the question. He knew that Steve could manage his time with his job and school. He knew that it was easy for Steve to finish a project. But he couldn't understand what the issue was about. So, Bucky slowly looked at the blonde and saw his face all wrinkled in thinking.

"So, what exactly is the problem?"

Steve glances at Bucky and thinks about how to explain his problem without telling him it was about Peggy. After all, his best friend still doesn't know that he kept in contact with his pen pal last year. He had no idea why he wasn't telling Bucky. He just felt like keeping Peggy a secret in the meantime. He thought that if Bucky figured it out, he'd be interested in Peggy and so would she. And there is nothing wrong with that. But he feels this weird feeling of worry that he'd be put on the sideline if that happens. It was selfish, he knows. So, he promises to tell his best friend soon. Just not now.

"Um, I haven't figured out what to give—make for my project." Steve then shoves his hands into his pockets as he felt his hand sweat a little with his failed attempt to lie "I don't have enough time to conceptualize a complex project,"

"Why does it have to be complex?"

"Because it needs to be special," Steve admits honestly as he felt his heart skip a beat when he recalled the time Peggy greeted him on his birthday.

From: Peggy Carter [cartermepeggy]
To: Steve Rogers [sgrogers]
Date: Jul 4, 2014
Subject: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Hello, Steve!

Happy birthday! I can't believe that your birthday is actually your country's Independence Day from my country. It's funny how your country gained independence while you and I gained a connection. Of course, here in London, July 4th is pretty much not a happy day for us, or maybe just another day for some. But given that it's your day, I'm glad to celebrate it.

In your honor, I asked my friends to hang out and eat at the most American fast food I know, McDonald's! They were actually curious as to why I was insisting on American fast food when they know I'm not really into that food. No offense, but your food could be greasy and all. But you know what, I realized they are delicious. So, maybe I'll eat a good hamburger from time to time.

Anyways, I just told them that July 4th is a special day for me. As for the why, I kept it quite vague, saying that a friend of mine is celebrating his birthday somewhere. Of course, they were curious as to who you were. But since I don't have any photos of you, I just told them you were my pen pal from the program.

To be honest, Steve, I'm glad that my letter got sent to the wrong country. If it hadn't, I don't think I would have met you now. Although, I'd like to believe that in some way and some time in our life, I would get to know you. I'm an adventurer and can be relentless, so, I know we would have met in some way. I'm just glad that we met earlier than that and now, I get to greet you on your birthday.

I wish you a great birthday and hope you'll enjoy your day as much as I enjoyed mine. Someday, I'll get to greet you more personally.

Your friend,

Peggy

P.S.

I attached a photo of me blowing your supposed birthday candles. Happy Birthday, Steven!

"How about painting a futuristic New York?"

Steve finally snaps out of his reminisce as Bucky unlocks the door to their apartment. He barely noticed that he and Bucky had arrived already.

"I mean, that could be cool. New York with flying cars," Bucky then grins at Steve, "That is special,"

Steve looked at Bucky for a moment, trying to understand his best friend's suggestion, and then recalled what he had last said to him. Because it needs to be special.

"Right, right…" Steve then shook his head, "Um, no, it can't be a drawing or painting. I've done those too many times,"

"Oh…" Bucky then thought again as he headed inside the apartment, while Steve closed the door and headed to his room. "For what subject is this again?" He shouted over the kitchen.

Steve's eyes grew in alarm as he didn't consider this part. He then tried to recall all of his course subjects for the semester that hadn't asked for an output yet.

"Uh, sculpture 1!" Steve blurted out, before grimacing in embarrassment, until he realized something. "That's it!" Steve beams to himself before he dashes out of his room and faces Bucky. "You're a genius, Buck!"

"Uh, thanks?" Bucky tilts his head in confusion as he stares at Steve, who was ecstatically pacing before him, "How exactly did I become a genius at that instant?"

"I'm going to make a sculpture!" Steve smiles widely as he begins to imagine all the possible sculptures he can make for Peggy. "Something that-that connects me and—" he then stopped talking as he realized his words.

Bucky stared at the blabbing blonde as his eyebrow raised, "Connects you and?"

"Um, connects me…I mean me like embodying New York or America itself and-and, um, with England…" Steve looked away from the brunette as he self-scold himself for the poor choice of words. He knew to himself that he sounded ridiculous and just didn't make sense.

"Why America and England?" Bucky questioned before he turns his back and continues to work on his snack, "Is that related to some historical thing?"

Steve looks up at the young lad as it clicks on his mind to go along with Bucky's line of thought, "Yeah…something like that. We have to show our interpretation of the connection between America and England considering the long history of our countries,"

"Oh, that would be easy," Bucky then turns to look at Steve with a grin on his face, "World War 2, or maybe the birth of the independence of America from Great Britain. Your choice, there's a lot more,"

"Yeah…" Steve then smiles to himself as he finally figured out what to give Peggy on her birthday, "I've just thought of the best way to show my interpretation of our connection—I mean between England and America,"

"Right, good for you!" Bucky then taps Steve's shoulder as he pushes himself off the counter, "Well, then, get on with it. You have a month to finish it,"

Steve grinned, "I can't wait to finish it,"

April 9, 2015

"Happy birthday!"

Peggy happily startles and then laughs in bliss and gratitude as her mother brings in the cake in hand while her brother and friends greet her with party poppers. It's a simple dinner party with her loved ones and she's immensely grateful for them.

"Oh, my goodness," Peggy laughs as she stares at her birthday cake full of birthday candles on top, "How many birthday candles are there?" she then looks at her brother, who was chuckling at the nearly burning cake.

"Seventeen, of course, 'cause it's your 17th birthday," Michael then laughs as Peggy chortles at the thought.

"Mum, you shouldn't listen to Michael at times. This cake looks like it's about to burn,"

"I know!" Amanda exclaims with enthusiasm in her voice as she moves the cake closer to her daughter, "That's why make a wish and blow them all,"

"Goodness!" Peggy laughs again before she slows down and closes her eyes for a moment. I wish…

Peggy then blows out all her candles as her friends and family clapped happily for her.

"Happy birthday, Peggy," Gemma greets as she embraces the brunette, to which Peggy returned the gesture. She then smiles sweetly at the celebrant, "I wish that you'd get whatever you wished for,"

"Aw, thanks Gemma," Peggy pulls the girl again for a quick hug, "You've been such a wonderful friend,"

"Well, when you have a friend who is as awesome, intelligent, nice as you, and might I add, beautiful, you gain a true friend." Gemma then cups the face of the brunette, "I'm honored to be your trusted friend,"

"Thank you," Peggy then smiles back at her friend before they pull apart and joined everyone in eating the cake.

As the first slice of cake was handed to Peggy, everyone engaged in a loud and joyous conversation. Michael told mishap childhood stories about Peggy while Gemma told all the shenanigans Peggy did in school. The celebrant continuously laughed, scolded, and blushed as they all enjoyed those stories.

Soon enough, the night got deeper, and Gemma and other friends of Peggy had finally left. It was past nine in the evening already, and it was pretty much late for everyone since it was a Thursday. But all of them still felt ecstatic about the celebration.

"Hey, Peggy," Michael calls as he stood by the dining while Peggy dries her hand in the kitchen. When the brunette stepped out, she immediately smiled at her brother.

"Thanks for celebrating with me today," Peggy then walks up to her brother to embrace him.

Since school started last January, Michael had been staying in the university dorm, and going back to Hampstead on a weekday was usually unideal. But since the two siblings are really close to one another, it was impossible that they'd celebrate Peggy's birthday separately. Michael always made sure that Peggy knew how much she is dearly loved.

"For your birthday, my gift is the extra hour of sleep I should have earned if I stayed at the dorm tonight." Michael then laughs as Peggy rolls her eyes at him, "I'm really glad to be here. You're seventeen,"

"So?" Peggy then crosses her arms over her chest, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," Michael suddenly smirks at the brunette, "Just want to remind you that no boyfriends yet,"

Peggy suddenly snorts at the poor impression of her brother being a protective one. She then shook her head and smiled, "Unbelievable. Since when you tell me not to do things?"

"Today," Michael shrugs as Peggy laughs at him, "For a change,"

"For a change?" Peggy playfully punches her brother in the shoulder before she walks out on him and heads to the living room, "Just so you know, I do not have a boyfriend because I choose not to. There is no guy out there that seems to capture my attention,"

"Really? Not a single guy?" Michael questioned, but Peggy knew his teasing voice and she refused to fall for the trick.

"Yes, not one guy in London," Peggy then sits down on the couch and tucks her legs under her, "Even Fred Wells, which mum thinks is adorable,"

"Fred Wells?" Michael then takes a seat as he tries to recall the face of the young man, "Ah, that lad who seems to be quite boring—"

"Michael," Peggy scolds as she widens her eyes at her brother, "Don't be like that. Fred is nice…"

"Right, he's nice. Of course, he is. But I think you'll agree with me that he's also typical and seems to fit the stereotypical kind of guy who appears to be manly but lacks the initiative to be supportive of their counterpart," Michael then smirks at his sister, who looks guilty for thinking the same way, "No wonder, he doesn't capture your attention,"

Peggy rolls her eyes as she sighs in defeat. "Doesn't matter. I'm not interested to be in a relationship yet. I'm just seventeen, there are a lot more things to do than falling in love,"

Michael chortles to that, making Peggy roll her eyes again. As the two fall into a comfortable silence, Peggy suddenly yawns in tiredness. It had been an eventful day for Peggy and the day had finally caught up to her. So, soon enough, she bid good night to her brother.

"Oh, Peggy," Michael calls as Peggy heads toward the stairs, "Dad said a package came for you."

"A package?" Peggy curiously wondered as she doesn't recall buying anything online, "From whom?"

"I don't know," Michael then tries not to smile, "I think it came from New York?"

Peggy's eyes suddenly grew big and felt her stomach flutter in excitement. Unbeknownst to her, a wide smile appears on her face as she said, "New York? All right, thank you, I'll look into it! G'night!" She then runs up the stairs and nearly slammed, closing her door.

"Right, of course, no guy in London captures her attention," Michael softly chuckles as he recalls his sister's beaming face, "Only a guy from New York,"

"Package, package," Peggy whispers to herself as she leans back to her door after closing it. Her eyes roamed around her room, trying to find the package that her brother had mentioned.

Her room was too dark, and it was nearly ten, everyone is probably asleep already. She swiftly pushed herself off the door and walked to her worktable to turn on her desk lamp. As soon as warm light filled her bedroom, she quickly scanned her table but to her dismay, there was no package at all.

"Where is it?" Peggy sighs to herself as she turns around to look elsewhere in her room. Soon enough, she sees a medium-sized box sitting on top of her bed with red tape securing it. The box had a sticker that dictates to handle it with care as it contains a fragile object.

"Fragile?" Peggy utters with wonder in her voice. She then grabs a cutter from her table before she slowly walks to the bed and sits comfortably. Turning the box from side to side and then lifting it, Peggy noticed that it was heavy. She didn't want to shake it as it said it was fragile. The least she wants is to destroy the gift that Steve had sent her.

Peggy suddenly sits up straight as she caught herself thinking the way she did. Why would I instantly think it's from Steve?

She then slowly turns the box around and reads the sender's information. Somehow, Peggy couldn't help but smile contently as she reads it and admires the familiar penmanship of her best friend. It's been a long time since she and Steve exchanged physical letters. Ever since he gave her his email address, Peggy quickly jumped in front of her computer and sent an electronic mail.

The advantage of using technology in terms of communication, it was faster and more efficient. She didn't have to wait for weeks just to get a reply from Steve. In fact, they exchange emails almost every day. Every morning, she'd check her email, read Steve's reply, and then answer. Sometimes, she'd attach photos she'd taken while at school or hanging out with her friends. Their communication was even greater now that Steve gets to share with her more art drawings, although mostly now are digital art.

And that was one of the things she missed about her snail-mails with Steve. She recalls the excitement she'd feel every time she held a thick letter envelope, knowing that a real sketch drawing was tucked inside. She also remembers how adorable Steve is when he makes erasures in his letter, trying to figure out the right word to say. And now, realizing that night, she had missed his written letters, as if his voice was magically attached to them, and hears his voice every time she reads them.

"Oh Steve," Peggy mutters dearly as she brushes her finger over Steve's writing. She then grabs her cutter and carefully slices the tape to open the box.

The box was filled with bubble wrap and Peggy hurriedly pulls them off until she sees a beautiful sculpture. She couldn't help but gasp in awe as she gently lifts the sculpture to admire it closer.

It was a sculpture of the Big Ben Tower and the Empire State Building connected by half of the London Bridge and Brooklyn Bridge. Describing all of the structures fused sounded complicated and impossible. But somehow, Steve was able to pull it off, making it more special for Peggy.

Even without reading any description of the sculpture, Peggy knew the meaning of the art piece. It definitely embodied the connection she and Steve had. It was a no-brainer. The moment she saw those buildings, she knew what Steve was trying to say. And with that, Peggy couldn't help but smile even more.

Despite the late hour, Peggy turns on her bedroom light to fully appreciate the gift. It was a clay sculpture painted in bronze color to make it look metallic and old. She loved how detailed the sculpture is, from the tiny corners of the towers to the wires of the bridges. Steve even placed a clock face, making Big Ben more realistic. It was a realistic miniature of her and Steve's connection and friendship, and she feels overwhelmed by the gesture.

A letter was included in the box and Peggy soon opened it as she felt butterflies in her stomach.

April 9, 2015

Dear Peggy,

Happy Birthday! I hope this gift reached you just in time for your special day. I'm actually writing this letter a month away from your actual birthday, but I'm going to assume that you are reading this on your birthday.

So, I made you a miniature of Big Ben and the Empire State Building that is connected by the London Bridge and Brooklyn Bridge. I may not be living in Manhattan, but I think the building is a good representation of New York, the same as the Brooklyn Bridge. As for you, Big Ben was one of the first things you told me in our first letters, and I just associate that with you. I actually couldn't decide at first what to use as representation for London because you've told me a lot of great things about your place. Your letters always made me feel like I was in London, having a glimpse of what it is like to be there.

You told me last year on my birthday that you were grateful that your letter was missent and reached North America instead of South America because it has led us to meet one another. To be honest, I'm grateful too. Did I ever tell you before that our class section was supposed to be exchanging letters with students from Wakanda? It just so happens that Mr. Martinez had lacking letters for our class, and he had to find extra letters from different classes. He handed your letter to me, and I realized that us meeting each other, is pretty much serendipitous. I'm glad to have met you now and consider you as one of my best friends.

Happy Birthday again, Peggy! I hope you enjoy your day and I wish that your wish comes true.

Your best friend,

Steve

Peggy clutches the letters close to her chest as she felt her cheeks warm up. It was heart-warming to hear these words from Steve. He was a sap, but Peggy finds it adorable how much of a sensitive and emphatic guy Steve was.

Serendipitous. She thought she liked that word and how it clearly describes their circumstance.

Standing up from her bed, Peggy took her sculpture and placed it on her worktable, right in the middle. She pulled out her cell phone and snapped a photo of it. Smiling to herself, she made a quick post on her social media.

Brooklyn Daily Eagle Building
April 9, 2015
5:08 PM

Ping!

Steve lifts his head as he hears a notification came on his phone. It wasn't like every day a notification came, other than text messages from Bucky reminding him that he shouldn't stay out late at his job. Bucky was such a mother hen to him at times, but he knows his best friend means well.

Looking down at his watch, Steve saw that it was just past five in the afternoon. He still had nearly two hours left before his part-time job was done. Seeing that it was too early for Bucky to smother him with reminders, he thought that maybe something else came up. So, Steve puts down his pencil and grabs his phone to make a quick check.

Notification

wellpeggy tagged you in a photo.

Steve's eyes grew wide in surprise as he did not expect this. He wasn't really into social media. In his account, all posted photos are his pencil sketch and digital artwork. But none of his face. He had a few followers, individuals that admired his work. One of which was Peggy.

In fact, it was Peggy who created the social media account. She told him that he should share his talent with the world and one way was to post it online. The first photo posted was his sketch of her standing on the Brooklyn Bridge. It was surprising for him that quite several people liked the photo. From then on, Peggy gave the account to him with a favor that he'd post his artwork as often as possible. And true to his words, he posts as much as possible. Both photos and videos of creating the artwork.

After Steve taps on the notification, he was redirected to the post that Peggy tagged him. Without realizing it, a wide smile suddenly appears on his face as he stares at the photo of the sculpture he made for Peggy on her birthday.

When he sent the box to London a few weeks ago, he never mentioned it to Peggy, in the hopes to surprise her. He didn't even give a hint to her in his email that morning that he had sent a package. He had to calculate the number of days that the box would arrive, and he assumed that the package would at least arrive on the week of her birthday. But it appears that the universe was on his side, making his wish come true, to give Peggy the sculpture right on her birthday.

He then reads the caption:

This is the most surprising and precious birthday gift I've ever received. Thank you sgrogersart for being so thoughtful about this art. I am fortunate to receive your art piece, but most of all, definitely fortunate and grateful for our friendship.

"What are you smiling about, Rogers?"

Someone suddenly speaks, making the blonde man startle in his seat and turn his phone down. Looking up, Steve's face was quite flushed, feeling a little shy that he was gushing over a photo.

"Nothing," Steve quickly replies as he looks at Stan, a senior colleague in the illustration department. He gave a timid smile, trying to convince him, "Um, just news from a friend—good news,"

The man nods at him before giving a mischievous grin, "Just from a friend? Or a lady friend?"

Steve's face reddened even more at the insinuation, but he shook his head as he gawked at him, "No-no she's just a friend. I mean, yeah, she is a lady, but we're just friends. Not like a lady friend, just a lady, and a friend,"

Stan grins even more before he chuckles at the blushing blonde, "I'm just teasing Rogers."

Steve then sighs as he tries to calm his racing heart and ignore the fluttering in his stomach as he thought about the idea of Peggy being his lady friend.

"But I think you like her in that sense," Stan then laughs out loud as he turns his back at the stunned blonde, "Don't forget to turn in your illustration later, kid!"

As Steve walks home from his part-time job, he had been fumbling with his phone that was tucked inside his pants pocket. After the teasing of Stan, Steve made it a point to keep his phone away. He was definitely distracted but he was happy that he made Peggy happy on her birthday.

Before he kept his phone away, Steve made sure that he had "hearted" the photo. But he feels it wasn't enough and wishes to reply to her, privately. Since he was at work, he opted to wait until he got off. The last thing he wants is for someone at the Brooklyn Daily to be nosy and teasing about his private affairs.

Steve was a few blocks away from his shared apartment and he can no longer wait. So, he pulled out his phone and quickly opened his email.

Usually, he reads Peggy's email reply at night when everyone, which is Bucky, is asleep. He knows there is no point in keeping this a secret from Bucky. But he wasn't ready to hear endless teasing from his best friend. If he couldn't stand Stan's teasing, what more from Bucky, who knew him like the back of his hand. Most likely, Bucky would hit the right spots and he won't be able to deny anything.

From: Peggy Carter [cartermepeggy]
To: Steve Rogers [sgrogers]
Date: April 9, 2015
Subject: Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY PEGGY!

Dear Steve,

Thank you so much for your greetings! I totally agree that knowing you feel like it has been a decade even if we've known each other for 16 months only. I'm definitely not counting! I'm just glad to have you in my life.

Sometimes, I think if there are things, I haven't told you yet. I think you know more about me than Gemma, who is practically my schoolmate and classmate. You're lucky she hasn't figured out that I have another best friend in you. Otherwise, she would have stalked you and challenged you to "Who knows Peggy better?"

I'll be inviting a few friends of mine tonight for a simple dinner party to celebrate my birthday. If only you could come, that would be lovely. You can bring Bucky along so that I could finally meet him. But of course, being long-distance friends makes it a little more difficult. Nonetheless, it's a beautiful gift to read your greetings in the morning. I'm immensely grateful for your birthday greeting.

Thank you so much, Steve! Have a lovely day at school and work.

Your friend,

Peggy

From: Peggy Carter [cartermepeggy]
To: Steve Rogers [sgrogers]
Date: April 9, 2015
Subject: Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY PEGGY!

STEVE!

You, lovely human! Thank you so much for the gift! I cannot believe that you have kept that secret from me and did not spill any hints! I guess omitting to tell me that you were making me a sculpture for my birthday is not lying. So, I guess you can keep a secret but not really lie to save your life. Either way, I'm grateful and I love it.

You, sending me this sculpture along with your handwritten letter (which I have missed!) made my birthday today very memorable. I did not expect in my life to receive such a generous gift from a friend. The fact that you have captured the best representation of our friendship made the art piece better. I posted it on my social media just to flex your work because it's so beautiful. Thank you, Steven. Truly, from the bottom of my heart.

You know, I just recently realized that while thinking about how I will post your sculpture, I do not know how you look. All this time, I thought I had a photo of you and knew how you appear. I checked your social media account and you don't have any photos of yourself either. Apparently, I only have my imagination of who you are. I know that you're a kind, smart, funny, and talented guy. But I wish I knew what this guy looked like.

So, I wonder, what does Steven Grant Rogers look like? When will you ever post on your social media account a picture with your face? You really like being mysterious and that makes you so interesting. No wonder, I like being your friend.

Anyways, thank you, again, Steve. Truly and enormously happy and grateful for your gift.

Hope to hear from you soon!

Your friend,

Peggy

Standing in front of their apartment, frozen in his spot, Steve stares at his phone, feeling dumbfounded. Reading Peggy's reply and realizing how true it is that he hasn't shown his face to Peggy since 2014, he couldn't help but feel a little panicky.

Back then, he had the excuse of not sending any pictures because they did snail mail. But now that they had moved on to using technology, there was no excuse for him not to share how he looked. Of course, it shouldn't be a problem as Peggy was not the type of girl who judges people by their looks. But for some reason, Steve wasn't feeling confident about how he looked.

He is only 5 foot 4, weighs 95 pounds, and had a long list of ailments. He had always been scrawny since he was a kid. Back then, he'd easily get sick, which his ma would always worry about. But since his ma was such a miraculous nurse, she'd always bring him back to health. Now, as a grown young man, he had at least managed his asthma and stomach ulcer, while for his astigmatism, he had his prescribed glasses. Other than that, everything was okay.

However, for years, hearing Gilmore Hodge and his minions describe him as puny with loose limbs, he'd been a little self-conscious about his physical appearance. Then bring in the subtle judgmental looks of girls when they heard that he had asked Bernadette in junior prom, from that point on, he decided not to ask any girls out anymore and just wait for the right one. The right partner. So ever since he hasn't attempted to woo a girl that he felt will only judge him for his physical appearance. But after getting to know Peggy, something in him stirred and he's afraid that he won't be able to meet her expectations.

The door to the apartment suddenly opens startling the blonde man. As Steve stepped back, Bucky looked at him skeptically.

"How long have you been standing there, punk?"

Steve shook off his bafflement and squeezed past the brunette, "Not long enough. I just got here,"

"Really? I didn't hear you coming," Bucky followed his gaze at the blonde before he slowly closed the door, "Did you leave your keys again?"

"Uh, no…" Steve then fished out his key from his back pocket before he enters his bedroom, "I was checking my phone. My senior texted me,"

"Odd," Bucky comments as he tilts his head and walked toward Steve's room, "You just came from the Brooklyn Daily,"

"Huh?" Steve whips around to look at his best friend, looking a little jumpy, "Um…no, yeah, uh, Stan texted me that he needed me tomorrow to assist in one of his illustrations for another project. He probably got the project when I got off work,"

"Right…" Bucky then stared at the blonde for some long seconds before he shrugs his shoulders and turn his back, "Your dinner is at the fridge, just heat it out. I'll step out for a bit,"

"Yeah, okay. Thanks," Steve then sighs as he hears the front door open and close. As soon as he was alone, Steve dropped onto his bed and braced his elbows over his legs as he leaned forward. Scrubbing his face in frustration, Steve stared blankly on the floor as he replays the words of Peggy from her email.

I do not know how you look.

I only have my imagination of who you are.

I know that you're a kind, smart, funny, and talented guy. But I wish I knew what this guy looked like.

I wonder, what does Steven Grant Rogers look like?

After weeks had passed since her birthday, Peggy had this growing feeling that Steve was keeping something from her. She wasn't sure what it was about, but she had been experimenting with her emails talking about different topics, trying to figure out which topics he seems to avoid.

It started when he replied to her email about the sculpture. He emailed her back, telling her he was happy that it made her happy, and then he went to a different topic, talking about a painting that his professor made and inspired him to paint using oil. Peggy noticed how Steve opted not to comment on her remark about not knowing how he looked. She thought, maybe it just slipped by him.

So, when she replied to his email, commenting and asking about something else, like his sculpture, he actually responded to the question. She then talked about being best friends, which he commented back on again. But when she left a question in her email, if he had self-portraits and told him that she wishes to see it, he replied to her with a whole new topic, completely ignoring her request.

Sitting in the library with her laptop open, Peggy thought about Steve's odd behavior lately. She was twirling her pen as she let her mind wander elsewhere.

"Hey, Peggy," Gemma whispered a little louder for the third time, finally snapping the brunette out of her trance.

Startled in her seat, Peggy widens her eyes in surprise at her friend before realizing she was zoning out. "Sorry, I was…"

"Distracted," Gemma softly chuckles as she shook her head, "What are you thinking about? That seems deep,"

"Oh," Peggy's shoulder sags in defeat before she shook her head, "Nothing really important. What is more important is understanding Beer's law so—"

"No-no don't avoid the question. I called you three times and only on the third time did you snap out of your thoughts. So, what is it?" Gemma snickers when Peggy blushes a bit.

"Did you really—?"

"Nuh-uh!" Gemma shook her head, making Peggy sigh in defeat, "Answer,"

"Fine," Peggy slumps back to her chair as she puts her pen down, and closed her laptop, "I was just thinking…" Gemma leans closer as she waits for Peggy to continue, "How do you know if a person is avoiding something?"

Gemma raised a brow at her before she teasingly replies, "If they don't talk about it?" Peggy gave a deadpan look at the brunette, making her laugh. Gemma then shook her head, "Sorry-sorry, okay. This is serious…"

Peggy sighs, "Forget it, I'm just being—"

"No-no, I'll answer," Gemma then scoots her chair closer to the table as she whispers, "Well, you have to keep bringing the topic up. If he continues to ignore the question or starts a new topic, that's definitely avoiding,"

"Huh," Peggy huffs as she tilts her head to the side, "So he's been avoiding it…"

"Excuse me?" Gemma leaned even more, "Who's he? And what's he avoiding?" She had her eyes then twinkle as she thought Peggy had some sumptuous secret to spill.

Peggy looked at Gemma for a moment, confused at her question, "Did I say that out loud?"

"Yeah, so who's he?" Gemma then taps the arm of the brunette who slowly appeared to be stunned.

"No one…It's just Michael," Peggy then swallows the lump in her throat, "He…he has been avoiding the topic about coming with us to our summer house this break. He's probably making plans on his own or something," Peggy then gave a tight-lipped smile at her friend, who just rolled her eyes in disappointment. "Sorry, nothing juicy," Peggy then chuckles along with her.

Sitting in front of her laptop at home, Peggy purposefully typed in her computer finishing her paperwork that will be submitted tomorrow. As she tries her best to focus on her task, Peggy couldn't help but drift back to the lingering question in her head, why does he keep on avoiding that topic? I'm just curious how he looks.

Peggy sighs in frustration as she heavily presses the space bar before shaking her head in concentration. After a few more minutes pass, Peggy grumbles again and somewhat angrily passes the enter key on her laptop.

"I mean seriously?! I've known him for over a year and haven't seen his face once!" Peggy drops her back to her swivel chair, making her bounce lightly, "I practically showed my face to him on our third exchange of letters, with complete trust! But now him?! He doesn't even want to acknowledge my curiosity about how he looks!"

Peggy then turns her chair and abruptly stands up to start pacing. Shaking her head with her arms crossed over her chest, Peggy muttered incoherently before she stomped her foot.

"This is unbelievable," Peggy shook her head furiously as she stops in place and glared at the sculpture sitting on her shelf, "Does he not trust me enough to let me know who he really is? Does he ever think I judge people by their looks?"

Ping!

Peggy turned her head to her laptop and saw a message notification come in. As she leaned close to see who had messaged her, she slightly rolled her eyes before taking her seat again. She immediately tapped on her laptop and soon she was video calling her brother.

"Oh, there you are my dear sister!" Michael chimed as soon as he saw Peggy on his screen, "I have been meaning to call you and ask about the plans for summer!"

"It's still April, Michael. We make plans in June," Peggy then sighs in irritation, which Michael quickly noticed.

"Okay, you're not in the mood. What's wrong? Who ate your sandwich?" Michael then grinned as Peggy grunts at his attempt to cheer her up.

"No one," Peggy whiningly replies as she tries to play along with her brother, "I don't even have a sandwich,"

Michael suddenly tilts his head in confusion, "Wait, so there's an issue about a sandwich—?"

"Michael!" Peggy then glares at her brother, who snickers at her annoyance, "If you're just calling me to pester me, please drop the call. I have homework to finish,"

"All right, all right, I'm not going to annoy you any further. But I'm serious, what's wrong?"

Peggy looked at her brother for a moment and recognizes the genuine concern. Sighing in defeat, she slumps back to her chair and crosses her arms over her chest. "I'm just…I was wondering, from a male's perspective…" Michael nods, encouraging the brunette to continue, "What does it mean if a guy prefers to keep his appearance…I don't know, secret? Hidden?"

"New York boy hasn't shown his face?" Michael quickly raised a dubious brow as Peggy's eyes grew wide in surprise at the nickname her brother used.

"New York boy?!" Peggy bellows, "What-who are you talking about?!"

"Oh, come on, Peggy. Did you really think I wouldn't know who this is about?" Michael tilts his head with a smirk on his face, "It's this American boy, whether you admit it or not."

"Well—" Peggy then held her breath as she contemplated whether to admit it or not, "Regardless! I'm just asking your perspective as a male, what it means if a guy or a person prefers to keep their appearance unknown? Don't give any other color to it, Michael. Just answer the question," Peggy then releases a deep breath as she watched her brother roll his eyes at her.

"Fine, I'll pretend I don't know anything about this," Michael then paused for a moment to keep his sister on edge, "It may mean he's keeping something secret, probably his identity. He may not be the guy you think he is,"

Peggy was then silent and a little stunned at the reason. She couldn't believe that reasoning because Steve was genuine and kind. He didn't know how to lie. But then again, was that all just pretending? To make me believe that he wasn't lying about himself.

"Are you telling me that Ste—that a guy could be just catfishing?"

"Well, not just guys. But in your situation, he could be,"

"I doubt that" Peggy shook her head, denying every ounce of that reasoning. Without a second thought, Peggy drops all pretenses, "No. I met him in a program so… he's a genuine student from Brooklyn, New York. He cannot lie about that,"

"Well, then I don't know why he would keep his face unknown. There's probably a secret out there, which would explain it better." Michael carefully watched the disbelief on Peggy's face, "Why not bait him? Accuse him of catfishing to just rattle him and make him spill a bit. In that way, you'll hear some excuses."

Peggy listened intently and considered the suggestion of her brother. It may not be accurate, but it was better than having no idea why Steve was being like this.

She then starts asking Michael how she should play it and the boy voluntarily gave ideas on how to do it. Soon enough, Peggy gives her brother her thanks before ending the call. As soon as it ended, she clicks on her email and begins to compose her email to Steve.

Damn her homework, she can accomplish that faster than understanding why Steve was being such a pain in the arse.

From: Peggy Carter [cartermepeggy]
To: Steve Rogers [sgrogers]
Date: April 28, 2015
Subject: Steven Grant Rogers!

Dear Steven,

I am writing you this email for the purpose of pointing out something odd about you recently. I've noticed that there are certain topics you avoid talking about. I am baffled by how you relentlessly ignore these curiosities I have about you. So, please enlighten me as to why you choose not to address these concerns.

One, when I emailed you last April 9, I had a realization that I didn't know how you looked. I only had the impression of what you look like. You mentioned you have blonde hair and blue eyes. But other than that, I do not know how you look. Believe it or not, Steven, being blonde and blue-eyed does not give me a clear vision of how you look. Hence, the reason I mentioned it.

Second, I asked you about self-portraits and asked if you had one. I did mention that I wanted to see your self-portrait because you seem to ignore the fact that I am asking what you looked like. Please don't tell me that looks do not matter. I do agree that looks do not define whether a person can be a friend or not. But when you are talking to somebody you haven't met AT ALL, it is quite fishy if you do not know how one looks. For all I know, you could be a serial killer who is pretending to be a student from Brooklyn.

Lastly, I do not want to entertain the idea that you are just pretending to be someone who you tell me who you are. I got to know you Steve through the Cultural Bridge Program, so I trust you that you are Steven Grant Rogers. I trusted you early on by showing you half of my face by the time I replied to you the third time. I trust you because I believe we're friends. Do you not trust me at all that you can't even reveal half of your face? Or you are just simply trying to catfish me because I'm a London high school girl, who seemed eager to make friends.

All I'm asking, Steve, is that you'd be honest. So, please be honest with me.

-Margaret

Biting his thumbnail, Steve nervously rereads the email Peggy had sent. He knew he was acting indifferently toward her, all because he was afraid of letting her see what he really looked like. Reading her message made his reasoning sound irrational and he feels bad to make her doubt their friendship.

Of course, he trusts her, just like how he trusts Bucky. The fact that they haven't met and yet trust her deeply, says a lot. But the way he's been acting to Peggy does not seem to transpire that, and he knows that he's screwing it up.

But even then, he couldn't bring himself to show his face. In his irrational thinking, he wants to preserve whatever image he is to Peggy. Someone worth her time. But the more he evades this matter, the more he looked like a creep. Hearing it from her makes it worse because indeed, it sounded like he was tricking her.

Although, she's still giving him a chance to explain. He needs to make this right.

Sighing for the nth time, Steve slumps forward as he hid his face over his crossed arms on the table. Seeing her email that morning and how hurt she sounded, Steve couldn't reply immediately to her. He knew he screwed up. That little chance to fix this made it so important to him that he needs to think this through, otherwise, he might not hear from her ever again.

"Hey, Steve," a voice calls, making the blonde boy looked up from his moping.

"Oh, hey, Angie," Steve then gave a tired smile before slumping back to his chair while he stared at the computer.

"Whatcha working on?" Angie beamingly asks as she takes a seat next to the man and places her bag over the table, "Didn't know you cram. I always thought you were the kind of student who finished their requirements early,"

Steve looked back at the blonde and raised a brow at her. When Angie nudged her head towards the open computer, Steve looks back at the computer and then mumbles a surprised 'Oh'. He then shook his head and sat properly. "No, um, this isn't school requirements,"

"Oh…" Angie then smirks, "Is that something personal? Like chatting with someone?"

Steve looked back at his schoolmate, "Um…" he then looks back at the computer, "Somewhat like that…"

Angie watched Steve's facial expression change from enthusiasm to worry and then to apprehension. With these sudden changes, Angie couldn't help but wonder if the blonde was having some trouble.

"I get the feeling that something is going on," Angie then smiles as Steve abruptly looks back at her, "Your whole face changed from one expression to another in a span of a minute. Is everything all right?"

Steve took a moment to consider telling Angie. She is one of the few friends he gained as he entered Auburndale Art School. They met in one of his general subjects, in which Angie sat down next to him during the first day of class. From that point on, they had become close. Although, they don't usually see each other as Angie usually gets busy with her performing arts course. But for some reason, she knows a lot more about him than he had expected.

"Not really," Steve admits as he sighs in defeat, "I may have screwed up a friendship,"

"A friendship?" Angie raised a brow, "With who? Is there someone you're not telling me?"

Steve glances at her, "I don't think I've told anyone about…"

Angie leans closer and whispered, "About…?"

Steve clears his throat before looking away, "About a friend…"

Angie then grumbles as she knew Steve was going to be vague again, as he has always done.

In the span of a school year, Angie had noticed how Steve was not as talkative as she was. He is nice and friendly, but there is always that sense of reservation about letting others in. She finds him interesting as he is smart and the most respectful guy she had ever met. Although she recognizes the occasional shyness, she isn't sure for what reason. He is handsome, although, he's smaller than her. But that doesn't really matter, as she knows his golden heart was his best asset.

"Okay, fine, you don't have to name your friend. But is that friend a she or he?"

"…she,"

Angie's eyes sparkle in interest, "Hmm, a 'she'…okay, so what's the problem?"

"Well…would you believe me that I've been friends with her for more than a year now? But we haven't met in person yet,"

Angie shrugs her shoulders, "I would. There are friendships that are built from a long distance,"

Steve nods to that, "But would you also believe me that until now, she doesn't know how I look?"

Angie now raises a brow, "And why not?"

Steve hesitated for a moment, "Because I haven't shown any of my photos and I've been avoiding showing one to her,"

"Steve," Angie calls whining as she pulls him back to make him look back at her, "Why would you do that? That is so creepy,"

"I know that now," Steve then sighs as he drops his head low, "She told me,"

"Then fix it," Angie nudges his shoulder, "Apologize to her and explain genuinely why you haven't shown your face until now. Or rather, meet up with her, in that way, it's more sincere,"

"We can't, she lives in London,"

"Oh," Angie pulls back a bit in surprise before she slowly smiles, "She's an English,"

"A what?"

"Anyways," Angie fixes her seat to face the blonde boy more, "Apologize and make a gesture that conveys your sincerity to your friendship. Hiding something trivial as this should not cause your friendship. Honesty is the best policy, remember?"

Steve lifts a weak smile before nodding his head, "I will…"

"Good," Angie then stands before clapping Steve's shoulder, "Now, you better start your letter to her before getting lost in your nerves. I'm just going to get a book,"

When Angie left their table, Steve knew that was her way to give him his privacy to write up to Peggy. Angie was right, he needs to write now before he gets lost in his anxiety and backs out in telling her the truth. He owes her that but what gesture could he offer to make up the mistake he made?

… … …

From: Steve Rogers [sgrogers]
To: Peggy Carter [cartermepeggy]
Date: April 29, 2015
Subject: Peggy I'm sorry

Dear Peggy,

I cannot express enough how sorry I am for the way I've been acting before you. I know that anything I will be saying next may sound like an excuse, so I'll apologize for it too.

You're right, I have been ignoring the matter of showing you who I am. It's not because I don't want to, but I'm just anxious. My classmates had called me names and I've never been confident of how I looked. I'm a scrawny kid and a weakling. Literally, because I'm always sick. Lucky for me, now I can manage my asthma and ulcer. But most days, my joints kill me. So, yeah, I'm a small, sickly, Brooklyn boy and not this guy who can beat all his bullies.

About the self-portrait, to be honest, I never liked taking photos of myself. As I said, I'm a scrawny boy so, I don't like staring at my face and emphasizing in my mind the fact that I'm a weakling. So, as much as possible, I'd like to believe that I'm more than this small body. I'd rather focus on my skill and show people that I am capable of doing more things than they thought I could with this weak body. I've been told more than once that I can't do things because they're afraid I won't be able to handle it. So, I thought, if you didn't know how I looked, maybe, you wouldn't think like that too and rather focus on my personality and skill. I'm sorry for thinking that way. I should have believed in you more, that you wouldn't think of me otherwise.

I trust you, Peggy and I'm sorry if I made you doubt my sincerity about our friendship. I truly value what we have but I hope you can give me time to be confident to show you, my face. Believe me, Peggy, I don't want to trick you or anything. I really want us to be friends. Someday, I'll be sure enough about myself to show you who I am. Maybe, in the meantime, you can make friends with Bucky. Here's a picture of him, you'll like him better than me. He's got a killer smile and knows how to talk to women. You'll like him.

-Steve

"Preposterous!" Peggy bellows as she finishes reading Steve's email. She was fuming red and couldn't contain the anger bubbling up inside her chest.

She quickly clicks on the reply button and furiously types back. This does not fix the issue. Rather, Steve made it worse. It should have fixed the problem if Steve didn't send that photo of Bucky and told her that she'll like him better than him. Who was he to tell her whom she'll like and not?

"Did you really think that I was this shallow?!" Peggy rants to herself as she continues to type in her laptop, "You, suggesting your best friend would be better than you is the most outrageous idea you have ever told me! Just because you're saying you're scrawny doesn't mean you're dislikable!"

Peggy then paused and took a breather. Her hands were shaking in furious as she glares at the screen in front of her. She completely understands that people are not always confident about themselves and that they experience insecurities. But to suggest someone else to be her friend instead and then belittle themselves was just too much for her. She felt like she was being judged for being petty. She didn't want to be friends with Steve because she imagined him all buff and tall. She became friends with him because they were similar in so many ways and yet different too.

As Peggy takes a deep breath, she closes her eyes trying to calm her nerves. The last thing she wants is to make this worse. She still wanted to be friends with him, but if he was going to be this petty in bad-mouthing himself and insisting his best friend was better, she will take a step back. She'll wait until he's ready to be friends with her, with no pretension and hiding behind emails and letters.

Peggy then begins to type again. By the time she was ending her message, she starts to verbally say them as she types.

"Steve…I understand your sentiment that you need to find the courage before revealing your face…I won't question you or even judge you for that…But to suggest your best friend to me…as if I need a friend desperately…gives me the impression that you don't know me well enough…So, I'll give you time as you have asked…but at the same time…don't expect me to reach out to you…You know how to reach me…but do so…when you're ready to be my friend…without pretenses…your friend, Peggy."