Chapter 41

Cersei Lannister POV

Jaime and I are back on campus, but we've kind of been avoiding each other. I've been going to my doctor's appointments and my outpatient treatment that father wants me to go to, it's been going okay. I still think he overreacted, but it's not all bad. I mainly just tune out, but the people there are nice enough.

Jaime walks in from class, and I'm on the couch. This is the first time since we got back that we are actually confronting each other. "Hey," he says. "Did you go to class today?"

"I went to my first class," I say. "I have a newspaper meeting later."

"Good," he says. "I'm glad you're going. How have your treatments been going?"

"Fine," I snap back. "They're just as stupid as I was expecting."

"Do you think they're helping?"

"I don't care, Jaime," I say. "Not that it's any of your business anyway."

"You're right, I can respect that," he says. "Dany and Jon confronted me before we came back to campus, I wasn't sure how to tell you."

"I figured they did, but I still haven't spoken to her," I say. "How did it go?"

"Jon almost got violent, but Dany stopped him," he says. "I apologized, and then Dany and I talked about what happened."

"What did she say?"

"Just that she couldn't trust us anymore, and that she never wanted to talk to me again," Jaime says. "I told her you would probably call her, if you haven't already."

"I haven't yet," I say. "I want to, but I don't know if I should."

"She'll probably tear into you," he says. "Are you prepared for that?"

I shrug. "It is what it is," I say. "I feel like I have to talk to her at least one more time, she was a big part of my life."

"I know, mine too," he says. There's a pause. "Do you think she always knew about us?"

I just nod. "Yeah, I do," I say. "I don't know how she couldn't have know, she pretty much lived with us for years."

"I don't know how we thought we were being secretive," he says. "We tried, but I know people knew."

"Did Tyrion know?"

"Yeah," Jaime says. For some reason that infuriates me because I hate Tyrion, but it wouldn't make sense if he didn't know. "But he never asked, he just assumed and I never denied it."

"I know you guys told each other everything," I say. "I figured he knew since he grew up with us."

"Yeah," Jaime says. "Do you think father knew?"

"I think he had suspicions, but you were closer to him than I was," I say. "Do you think he knew?"

Jaime sighs. "He probably knew something was going on," he says. "But I know his reputation was more important to him than anything else, so I'm sure he ignored it."

"He was very good at that," I say. "At ignoring things and playing dumb when he wanted to."

"I don't know why he didn't try to stop us more," Jaime says. "After our first time at the lake and especially after we got to high school, he pretty much stopped trying to keep us away from each other."

"I think we got to a point where we didn't even care," I say. "We were going to do whatever we were going to do, and it had gone too far at that point."

"Was it worth it?" He asks me.

"Does it matter?" I ask. "We can't change it now."

"I guess you're right," Jaime says. There's a long pause. "Are you going to call Dany?"

"I probably should, before too much time passes," I say. "Wish me luck."

"Good luck," he says. "Do you want me here?"

I'm surprised he asked me that, but we did get into this mess together. I appreciate that he's still somewhat considerate of me.

"No, that's okay," I say. "Thank you, though."

Jaime walks into his room and shuts the door, and I pick up the phone to call Dany. I keep thinking about what he asked me. Was it worth it? I can't say it was, since we lost everything. However, we were so wrapped up in each other for so many years that I'm not sure we would've done anything differently, even if we knew the outcome.

I'm shaking, I'm so scared of what Dany will say to me if I call her. If she even answers, I can't imagine this will end well. I want to talk to her one last time, but I've honestly never been so nervous. Here goes nothing, I guess. I dial her number.

Daenerys Targaryen POV

I'm on break at work when my phone starts to ring, it's Cersei. I figured she would try to call me, but I never actually thought about what I would say. I'm so nervous, but this will definitely be the last conversation we ever have if I can help it. I feel like I need closure, and it's a better time to talk now that we've calmed down a little.

"Hello?" I ask when I answer.

"Dany?" She acts surprised, as if she isn't the one who called me. "I'm surprised you answered."

"I'm on break," I say. "What do you want?"

"I know you and Jon talked to Jaime," she says. "He said he apologized for what happened."

"He did," I say. "But it's a little too late for that, in my opinion."

"Really?" She says. "You can't forgive us?"

"No Cersei," I say. "I can't trust either of you knowing you would keep something like that from me for so long, or knowing that you would do it in the first place."

"It was years ago," she says. "It's not like that was a regular thing."

"It doesn't matter," I say. "I still can't trust you."

There's a long pause, I hear Cersei take a deep breath. "Does this mean you're going to tell people about Jaime and I?"

"Is that all you care about?" I ask, even though I know the answer. It is all she cares about.

"No, it's just that I would rather that not come out," Cersei says. "It would devastate father. And we aren't even together anymore, so I don't see the point in exposing it."

I sigh. "No, Cersei, I won't tell anyone," I say. I can't promise that, but I definitely won't just expose it to everyone we know for no reason. "I do have a question, though."

"What is it?"

"I know you probably don't want to talk about it, but just answer me this," I say. "When you got pregnant senior year, was Jaime the father? Or do you even know?" That sounded mean, but it's a valid question. She was dating Euron at the time.

"Of course I know!" Cersei yells. "Yes, he was."

"Sorry, I feel like it's a valid question," I say. "I'm sorry you went through that."

"I thought you'd be happy," she says. "Considering you hate me now."

"Stop acting like a victim," I say. "I don't think you deserve to have a miscarriage because I don't want you in my life anymore."

There's a pause. "So you really don't want to be friends anymore?" Cersei asks me, as if I haven't made that clear.

"I really don't," I say. "I never thought it would come to this, but I can't be friends with someone I can't trust."

There's another pause. "I'm sorry to lose you," she says, I can tell she's tearing up. I feel bad, I really do. "You were always my sister."

"And you were mine," I say. "But I can't look past this."

She sighs. "When you and Jon break up and you want to come running back to me, I'll be here," she says. "Just remember that."

"This is why you're losing everyone, Cersei," I say. "You can't just take accountability."

"I'm saying I'll always be here for you," she says. "That's all I meant."

"And you had to include some backhanded comment about my relationship," I say. "Even if we were to break up, I still can't trust you and that's what's important."

"Okay," she says. "Take care of yourself."

We hang up and I go about the rest of my shift trying not to cry. When I get home, Jon is asleep. I get in bed next to him and start to cry. I think I'm being quiet, but he wakes up and turns over to hold me.

"Are you okay?" He asks.

"Yeah, I just talked to Cersei during my break," I say. "I'm sorry I woke you."

"It's okay," he says. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I said I didn't want to be friends anymore because I couldn't trust her," I say. "And of course she had to say some shit about our relationship."

"What did she say?"

"Just that when we broke up it was fine if I came running back to her," I say. "I said even if we did, I can't trust her and that's what matters."

"Why is she always saying stuff like that?" He asks. "Does she really think I'm that bad?"

"I don't know," I say. "I think she thinks Lannisters are better than everyone, which would actually make a lot of sense."

"I'm glad you're done with her," he says. "She really doesn't deserve a friend like you."

"I know," I say. "But she got me through middle and high school, so it's still hard for me to come to terms with."

"I know it sucks," he says. "And I'm sorry."

"I'll be okay," I say. "I just want to go to sleep."

"Goodnight," Jon says, giving me a kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too," I say. "Good night."

I know this is for the best, but that doesn't mean it isn't hard. She really did get me through some of the worst things I've ever been through, and it's hard to just let go of a lifelong friend like that. I really thought she'd be there when I got married and had kids, and this is not at all what I thought would happen.

I know I need to cut her off, and I'll be okay. It's just going to take time to get used to not having her around. I really do hope she gets her shit together, and it sucks I won't be there to help her through it because I do still worry about her. This hurts way more than any breakup I've ever experienced.

Sansa Stark POV

Margaery is helping me take some test photos for my modeling portfolio today. I have some from the modeling camp I went to last summer, but I want to have a few updated shots before I go to college. I'm hoping to go to castings when I can, and Margaery offered to help since she's done photo editing on her phone a lot.

I don't really know anyone professional, so this is good enough. She also helped me do my makeup for our photoshoot since she's going to school for that. She really is a good friend, I wish we hung out more. I'll try to make more time to hang out with her before I leave for college.

We're out in my backyard to take pictures, it's nice out here. "Go by the tree," Margaery says. She picks a dandelion and hands it to me. "Hold this."

I pose and she takes the picture. "Did that turn out okay?" I ask.

"Yeah," she says. "I'll send you all these after I edit them."

"Thanks for doing this," I say. "I don't know anyone who takes professional photos, so this is a big help."

"I love that you're into modeling," she says. "Maybe one day I can do runway makeup on fashion shows you're on when you make it big."

I chuckle at that. "Thanks," I say. "I'm not too optimistic about that, though."

"Why not?"

"I have to go to school while looking for castings," I say. "I've never really done anything professional."

"That doesn't mean you can't do it," she says. "It may be hard to juggle, but I bet you can."

"Thanks, that means a lot," I say. "I wish we hung out more."

"Me too," I say. "We have to do something fun before you leave for college."

"I was thinking about doing a girls' trip with you, Arya, Myrcella, and Dany," I say. "If we can make it work, but I get it if you don't want to be around Arya."

"I really don't mind, Arya's sweet," she says. "That sounds like a lot of fun, if Arya is fine being around me."

"I'm sure we could make it work," I say. "If we can even plan it well. I hope we can, it would be fun."

"I agree," she says. "A trip would be so cool, I'll help you plan it."

"Thank you," I say. "I'll ask Dany, Myrcella, and Arya about it soon."

We take some photos of me in the grass laying and sitting. This is fun, I really hope I can do some more professional modeling soon. After we finish up, we sit in the grass and just keep talking.

"I saw Gendry not long ago," I say. "It was kinda weird, Arya was with me."

"Why did you see him?" Margaery asks.

"I was with Myrcella," I say. "She wanted to pick something up to give me from the apartment and she didn't think Gendry would be home, but he was."

"How is he?"

"He's good," I say. I pause because I'm not sure I want to fully update her. "He's seeing someone apparently."

"Really?" She asks. "Who?"

"Apparently he likes to go to this coffee shop with board games with some guys from his trade school," I say. "I guess he's been on a couple dates with a girl who works there."

"Did Myrcella tell you that?" I'm not sure why she's asking all these questions. This is part of the reason I didn't want to tell her, she can be pretty nosy.

"No," I say. "Gendry mentioned it while we were there."

"In front of Arya?" She asks, sounding shocked.

"Yeah," I say. "He was asking Podrick if he had something he could show her."

"What an asshole," Margaery says. "I can't believe he would do that in front of Arya, could he not wait a few minutes?"

I guess I see her point there, but I didn't think much about it. Arya wasn't too upset about it, but maybe she was just hiding it.

"I guess you're right," I say. "I know that Arya wasn't thrilled about it."

"Honestly, I'm over Gendry," she says. "I just feel like it was kind of a shitty thing to do, I would say that about any guy."

"Yeah I know Arya was pretty upset when they broke up," I say. "I guess he could've considered that more."

"Probably," Margaery says. "He just seems pretty immature for his age, even when we were dating."

"Really?" I ask.

"Yeah," she says. "It's probably best that we aren't together, he has a lot of growing up to do."

"How so?"

"I think he needs to learn how to handle his emotions better," she says. "He's kind of erratic sometimes, just with how he doesn't think his decisions through."

"That makes sense," I say. I mean it, I think she has a point. He had to know it would weird Arya out that he was seeing someone, he should've thought that through before bringing it up in front of her. "Are you seeing anyone?"

"Nah," she says. "I've been on a couple dates and hooked up with a couple guys, but didn't really meet anyone that I clicked with. How about you?"

"Definitely not," I say. "I'd like to wait until I get to college."

"That's probably smart," she says. "There's no use complicating things when you already have so much going on and so many life changes coming up."

She's definitely right about that, I have a lot of things to look forward to that I definitely don't need a guy to enjoy. I hope I can go to castings and go to school at the same time, I don't want to have to put modeling on the backburner. I hope Margaery's right that I can do both.

I really do want to take a graduation trip with my girls, I just hope we can swing it. I would have to plan it with everyone and convince my parents to let me. They would probably want to come with me, but I hope I can take a trip with just my friends. It would be a lot of fun to end my high school experience with that.