STATIC

"Guys, I have an idea."

"No Kaminari, we can't have Awase weld together a PS2 and a PS3 to make a PS5."

"That wasn't my idea!" Kaminari blinked. "Though I might try that later."

Sero sighed. "Fine, what's your idea?"

"You know how I get dumber if I use electricity, right?"

"Yeah?"

"What if I absorb electricity instead?"

"You stuck a fork in an outlet, and nothing happened."

"I know, but I saw this video about static. We could use slippers!"

Sero gave Kaminari a look of exhausted frustration. "That barely even tingles. You think that's going to make you smarter?""

"That's why I'll have Iida do it."

Sero perked up. "Screw it, let's do this."

Sato force-fed Momo hamburgers while thick woolen carpet made a giant roll in front of her, and Iida did warm-up exercises.

"I think that's enough! Midoriya, care to do the honors?"

Izuku took the end of the rug and cracked it like a whip. Carpet snaked out into the horizon. Seconds later, it emerged from the other cardinal direction. Izuku pulled it taut, melted the two ends together, and gave the rug a firm tug.

Iida gave a few leg stretches, swung his arms, and took a runner's position. Kaminari took one of Snipe's pistols. "Ready, Iida!"

"I am adequately prepared for this scientific venture!"

Kaminari pulled the trigger. Iida stayed still.

"That meant go."

"Oh."

Iida took off. After one trip around the world, his hair hung in blue spikes. A second trip made his clothes levitate. With each revolution, Iida zoomed faster and faster, picking up static charge. Electronics flickered across the world, sheep clung to the ground for dear life, and a fulminous glow ringed the world. The skies danced with Aurora Borealis, and some of it snuck into U.A.'s kitchen. Iida disappeared into a static blur, zipping through his own afterimage, and the world trembled with the power in his feet.

Iida slid to a stop, hovering from all the static. The world held its breath, the very air charged and waiting. Kaminari approached the floating figure, one hand outstretched. Iida reached out, and like the painting upon the Sistine chapel, their fingers touched. A blinding flash engulfed the island.

Kaminari rocketed through the air, weightless, mind unshackled from its earthly coil. The stars unfolded like kaleidoscopic origami, with secrets of the universe written inside. He touched one, and it burst into a cloud of sparkling butterflies. Gravity grabbed him, pulled him down and through the Earth. Layers of rock sped past him, molten magma churned, and in the center, a leviathan of metal and starlight rested, curled around the planet's heart. It stirred, blinking its eyes, and within its sockets sat the universe. Its mouth opened, and Kaminari drifted into the black hole within its gullet.

The other students huddled around Kaminari's body as it spasmed on the ground, foaming at the mouth and wafting smoke from its ears. Sero said, "I think we broke him."

499

I'm getting a strange sense of dejavu now that I've finished this. I really hope I haven't already done a 'build static until physics breaks' skit.

EDIT: chapter 234. Slippers. Of course. In my defense, that's almost two years ago. Let's just say Kaminari had severe brain damage from the last time.