Chapter 43

Daenerys Targaryen POV

I'm glad I opened up to Jon about some stuff I went through in the past. It was hard to talk about, and I feel bad for waiting so long. He seemed to be understanding, though. It felt good to let it out. I hope he doesn't ask a lot about it or expect me to talk about it more, it's not exactly fun for me.

Telling Jon about all that made me realize that Cersei really knew everything about me. We went through so many life events together, she was the sister I never had. I don't know how I'm going to go through the rest of my life without her in it. I've already felt myself reaching for the phone a couple times to text her, and then I remember that I can't do that.

I'm walking on campus when my phone rings. It's my dad. That's weird because we don't usually talk on the phone. I answer because I'm worried something bad is happening with him.

"Hello?" I ask.

"Hi Dany," he says. "Are you busy?"

"No," I say. "I just got done with class, is everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything's fine," he says. "We just don't talk much, and I wanted to reach out."

"Well you never call me," I say. "I don't want to bother you." I understand if he gets busy, he recently started working part-time again and I know it's hard for him to juggle a lot at once.

"I want to let you live your life," he says. "You held off on going to college for me, and I don't want to hold you back more than I already have."

That makes me sad. I made the choice to stay behind, that wasn't his fault. It was definitely a sacrifice for me, but it was one I was happy to make to help him. I know he would do it for me.

"You didn't hold me back," I say. "I wanted to help you, and I would love to hear from you more. I mean that, dad."

"Okay, well how about this," he says. "How about we make an effort to talk at least once a week?"

"I like that idea," I say. "That sounds good to me." I sit on a bench on campus, it's a nice and quiet area to sit at.

"How's Jon doing?" My dad asks me.

"He's good," I say. "We just celebrated our three year anniversary."

"Wow," my dad says. "Has it really been that long?"

"Yeah," I say. "I can't believe it either."

"Next time you come to town, have him over for dinner," he says. "I'd love to see him again."

"I'll tell him that," I say. "I'm sure that would make him happy."

"How's Cersei?" He asks after a pause. "I know she was having a little bit of a hard time for a while."

Ugh, why did she have to come up? It makes sense, he's also known her forever. It just sucks because I'm tired of talking or even thinking about her.

"We're not friends anymore," I say. "She's just… not someone I want in my life."

"What?" My dad asks. "Dany, you've been friends with her since you were six, what happened?"

"It was a lot of things," I say. "But basically I realized that I couldn't trust her."

"Why not?"

"She started getting really involved in drugs, she even went to the hospital once," I say. "She also got fired from our job for drinking at work."

"Wow, that's a lot," he says. "I trust your judgement, I just know she meant a lot to you for a long time."

"She did," I say. "It's been really hard."

"What about Jaime?" He asks. "Do you still talk to him?"

"No," I say. "He just enabled her behavior, and that wasn't good for me to be around either."

"That makes sense," he says. There's another pause. "How is work going?"

"It's fine, I guess," I say. "It's work, you know. Not that special."

"I hear that."

"How is it for you going back to work?" I ask.

"I like it more than I was expecting," he says. "It feels good to finally have a routine again."

"I'm glad to hear that," I say. "I should probably head home, but I'm glad you called."

"Good," he says. "It was nice to talk to you."

"Defnitely," I say. "I'll call you next week."

"Sounds good," he says. "Bye."

I'm glad I'm getting closer to my dad again, we spent a good portion of my life not even speaking. I'm his only living child, it makes sense that he would want to make an effort to spend time with me. I wish he hadn't asked me about Cersei though, I want to just stop thinking about her and stop hurting over what happened.

I decided not to tell him the main thing Cersei and Jaime did to end our friendship. It's too complicated, and I'm also not sure the extent of his knowledge on the rumors about their relationship. I don't want to upset him, and it's honestly not even worth talking about. I'm glad he wants to call me on a regular basis, though. I want to build a stronger relationship with him.

Cersei Lannister POV

I don't know where to go from here. I don't want to believe that Dany was serious about ending our friendship, but it's now been over two weeks since we talked. That's longer than we've ever gone without talking since we met when we were 6. We've been mad at each other before, but maybe this time it really is over.

I'm meeting with my group today, I still have to go to those meetings. I go to those meetings every week, my dad is still making me. He wanted me to see a therapist individually, but I drew the line at that. I'm not talking about my problems with a random stranger.

Of course everyone in group therapy is trauma dumping and talking about how hard it is to be sober. I'm so glad I'm not getting sober, it sounds miserable. I just tune it out and think about what I'm going to get to drink when this meeting is over. I can't believe anyone thinks these meetings actually work.

Group eventually ends finally, I feel like it took years. I'm sitting outside and smoking a cigarette on the curb when the group leader walks up and sits next to me. "Hi Cersei," she says. "How are you?"

"I'm okay," I say after pausing. I'm not sure why she's talking to me.

"Are you sure?"

"I suppose," I say. "Am I in trouble?"

"Of course not," she says. "I just wanted to check in on you."

"About what?"

"I noticed you don't really talk in group," she says. "You're the only one who hasn't said at least something."

I shrug and take a drag of my cigarette, still avoiding eye contact with her. "I guess I just don't really have much to say," I say. "I don't feel like pouring my heart out to strangers."

"No one's asking you to do that," she says. "But I'm sure the other group members would like to hear from you."

"I doubt that," I say. "I don't feel like I have anything interesting to say."

"Why would you say that?"

I take a deep breath, she's starting to irritate me. If I wanted to talk, I would. She shouldn't push that on me.

"If I'm being honest," I say, finally making eye contact with her. "I'm only hear because my dad threatened to cut me off if I didn't go to a certain amount of group meetings."

She pauses, I can tell she didn't expect me to hear that. "Oh," she says. "I see."

"Yeah," I say. "So I don't see the point in talking when I'm going to be out of here the second I can be."

"Well regardless, I'm glad you're here," she says. "Getting help is never easy, so I'm glad you're even taking this step."

Ugh, I really don't need all this emotional bullshit. I get that she's supposed to connect with everyone, but everyone in the group is honestly so dramatic. How is us trauma dumping going to keep us from doing drugs and drinking? If anything, I feel like it would drive us more to that.

"I'm not going to talk in the group," I say. "They don't need to know all of my baggage."

"I understand," she says. "If you don't want to talk to them, you can talk to me. My email is on the forms I passed out at the first meeting."

I crush the remaining part of my cigarette under my foot. "Noted."

"Just think about it," she says. "Remember that you have people who care about you and want to see you heal."

I know that's not true, at this point no one could care less what happens to me. I know a lot of it is my fault, but also a lot is because of Jaime. He's not the perfect saint that he wants everyone to believe he is.

"I don't know about that," I say. "But that's very nice of you."

"It's true," she says. "I know you do."

"Thanks," I say, getting up. "I'll keep that in mind." That was horrible, I wish I never had to see these people again.

I walk to my car and get in, holding back tears as I drive back to my apartment. I pull up to park, and as soon as I stop the car I burst into tears. God, I hope Jaime isn't home. I really don't want him to see me like this. He and Dany used to be the only people I felt comfortable enough to cry around because it was so rare, now I feel like it's all I do when I'm alone.

I hate that the group leader tried to "connect" with me or some bullshit. I hate the speech that people love me and want me to get better, she has no idea what's been happening in my life and that everyone in it hates me. I wish people like her wouldn't say stuff like that and assume what my life is like, she's not actually helping.

Jon Snow Stark POV

I'm at the apartment when I get a call from my dad, Dany is at work. I get nervous when I see him calling, it could be about the DNA results. Maybe he just wants to talk, but it's reaching about the amount of time they said it would take for the results to come back. I want to find out, but I'm nervous now that the results are actually approaching.

"Hello?" I say when I answer.

"Jon?" My dad says. "It's your dad, are you busy?"

"No," I say. "Is everything okay?"

"The DNA results came in," my dad says. "I wasn't sure if now was a good time to go over them."

"It is," I say. "I mean, now is just as good of a time as any."

"Is Dany with you?"

"No, she's at work," I say. "Why?"

"I didn't know if you wanted her there for support," he says. "I also didn't know if you wanted to wait to do this so we could talk about it in person."

"Have you looked at the results?"

"I know what they're going to say," he says. "I care about how you feel."

"I appreciate that, but I can handle it," I say. "I honestly just want to get this over with."

"Okay," my dad says. "Then let me open it."

I hear the rustling of the envelopes, I'm assuming he's taking the papers out and reading them. I hear him take a deep breath. "I'm not your father, Jon," he says. "I knew that, but now you and your mom know for sure."

I actually feel myself tearing up, which is weird because I knew this was coming. I believed him when he told me he wasn't my father, but I could at least push it out of my mind. Now that I'm faced with documented proof, it feels real.

"I guess you haven't told mom yet?" I ask.

"I wanted to wait until we both read the results," he says. "And I honestly wanted you to know first."

"Why?"

"Because you were the child who didn't ask to be born into this," he says. "I know I really messed up, but it was her choice to stay with me thinking I got another woman pregnant."

I don't want to hear about they're marital problems, I'm honestly shocked they're still together. My mom is the only person I can think of who would stay with her husband after he brought in a random baby that he said was his and he cheated. Especially considering they only had one child at the time, she had every ability to leave.

"You're not seriously faulting mom are you?" I ask. I have my own thoughts about my mom, but it's definitely not her fault that my dad lied to her for so many years.

"Not at all," he says. "She's the best woman I know."

"So what happens now?" I ask. "Do the other kids find out?"

"Do you want them to?" My dad asks. That surprises me, I assumed that choice would be made for me. I never thought he'd value my input on that.

"I think they should know the truth," I say. "We can sit them down over the summer and tell them, but I want to tell Robb myself."

"Why is that?"

"I was always closest with him," I say. "I want to be the one to tell him."

"I guess I get that, and I respect it," he says. "I'm really sorry this happened the way that it did, Jon."

I don't want to accept his apology, I hate that this happened at all. He says he's sorry, but it's because of him that we're in this predicament. I know that he thought he was doing his best to protect me at the time, but I'm not sure how he expected it to end. I'm starting to think he planned to lie for both my and his entire life.

"Can I still call you dad?" I ask.

"Of course," he says. "I'll always consider myself your dad, nothing will change that."

I guess he has a point, since he always new the truth. What would I call him besides dad? Uncle Ned? That would feel too weird. He's the only dad I've ever had.

"Thanks," I say. "Can I still come by and act like I used to?"

"Absolutely," he says. "Your siblings would miss you, and you still helped raise them."

I'm shocked to hear him say that. He finally admitted that Robb and I took on an extraordinary amount of responsibilities at a young age, even if it was a small admission. I never thought he realized how much we did for them, but maybe he sees at least some of it.

"I hope this doesn't make them hate me," I say. "I love them, even though they get on my nerves constantly."

"They love you too," he says. "And we love you."

I still don't believe my mom loves me, but it's nice that he's trying to convince me of that.

"So when are you telling mom?" I ask.

"I'll tell her tonight," he says. "I hope this can be the start of me earning her trust back."

I don't know how he can fix this, but it seems like he's trying. I don't want to know, though. They need to figure that out themselves.

"Thanks for telling me the results," I say. "Bye, dad."

"Bye son," he says. "I love you."

"I love you too."

We hang up and I just start crying. I thought I could be tough through all this, but it's finally catching up to me. I was holding all the emotions in, and now that it's all mostly resolved I'm just letting them out. It meant a lot to me that he still called me his son, it shows that he really will always see me that way.

I'm nervous that my siblings will treat me differently when they find out the truth. I know Robb won't, but I'm worried my younger siblings will see me differently and not know what to do with the information. I know it's mostly unfair to me, but it's unfair to them too. None of us deserved this, not even my mom.