Chapter 47

Cersei Lannister POV

We're finishing the semester in a couple weeks, and I really don't want to go home. I don't want to stay here either, I kind of don't want to do anything anymore. I know Jaime is excited to be home for a while and see Brienne more often. I still hate that he's with her, but I know it won't last.

Maybe I will stay here for summer break, or at least part of it. It would be nice to have the apartment to myself, and I won't have people watching my every move. I can lie to my dad and say I'm still going to group meetings here and just not go. He wouldn't double check.

I walk out to the kitchen to get a drink. As I'm passing Jaime's room, I hear him on the phone. It sounds like Brienne. I hear him say he's really excited to see her soon. Ew, I really don't need to hear them start talking dirty to each other.

I keep my wine hidden in a different bottle after I get it. I'm not sure Jaime would say anything, but I don't want to deal with it either way. He didn't seem to like when I had beer. I pour my wine into a glass and quickly head to my room.

I don't hear Jaime on the phone when I walk by, so I guess he's done talking to Brienne. I guess now is as good a time as ever to tell him that I don't want to go home this summer. I set my wine down on my nightstand, close the bedroom door behind me, and knock on his bedroom door.

"Jaime?" I ask. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah," he says. I walk into his room and sit on his bed. He's on his laptop. "What's up?"

"I don't think I'm coming home this summer," I say. "At least not for part of it."

He pauses and looks at me. "What?" He asks. "You want to stay here?"

"Yeah," I say. "That might be best."

"Why would you do that?"

"No one really wants me back home," I say. "I don't have Dany, I don't have you, I can't stand Tyrion and father."

He pauses and his expression falls. I can tell he feels a little bit sad for me, and he should. I've lost everything I care about. "Are you sure that's a good idea?" He asks. "Being alone, I mean."

"I can take care of myself," I say. I'm annoyed that he still doubts that. If he really thought I couldn't take care of myself, he would've left Brienne again and stayed with me. "I have my group here, and I know father wants me to stick to that. Plus, you'll be with Brienne, so it's better if I just stay out of your way."

"You may only be here for part of the summer, though?"

"Yeah," I say. "I may come back home for the last chunk. I'm not sure yet."

"If you think it would be better to stay with your group, I want to support that," Jaime says. "I'm sure father would be glad to hear that."

I just nod, even though there's no way I'm actually going back to group. Not after the group leader tried to get me to open up. "Are you sure you don't want to come back to see your other friends?" Jaime asks.

I shake my head. "I'm sure Dany told them all what happened," I say. "I don't want to face anyone there, honestly."

"I understand," Jaime says, as if this happening isn't his fault. "You know you can call if you need anything, right?"

I'm not sure I believe that, but I nod anyway. "Yeah, I know."

I walk back into my room, shut the door, and sit on my bed. I start downing the wine I poured for myself. Being alone may not be so bad, it would be better than facing everyone at home. Maybe this time to myself is what I need, especially now that my last year of college is approaching.

I grab my phone and open it, there's one person I could see who I know won't judge me. I just can't tell anyone. I start texting Bronn.

Hey. I'm planning on staying in town for most of summer if you'll be here and you want to meet up. Just let me know.*

I'm nervous, I'm not sure he'll reply. I hear my phone ding. He did respond.

Are you sure that's a good idea? I wouldn't want you to get in trouble with your family.*

I don't have to tell them, they think I'm still sticking with my recovery group.*

Ding. *Okay… then that would be fun.*

Awesome ;)*

I know my family wouldn't approve, but they have no room to tell me what to do. They've tried to do that enough. I just am going to do what I want and keep it from them as much as I can, I have nothing else to lose at this point.

Sansa Stark POV

It's prom night, and I am going this year. Myrcella is here helping me get ready, even though she isn't going. Arya is reading on her bed. Maybe she and Myrcella can hang out a bit after I leave, it may be good for them.

"Are you upset that you don't have a date?" Myrcella asks me as she's helping me get my makeup out.

"No," I say. "Two years ago, I definitely would have been. But like I said, I'm done with dating for a while."

"I get it," Arya says. "But guys are slimy no matter what, even our own younger brother is."

"What are you talking about?" I ask.

Arya sighs. "Meera and I had a talk after my birthday dinner," she says. "She doesn't want me to tell anyone though, so please don't bring it up in front of her."

"Of course not," I say, sitting down in a chair so I can start the first part of my makeup. I haven't put on my dress yet, that'll be last. "When did you have this talk? Where were we?"

"You guys were having your own conversation," Arya says. "It was when we were waiting for mom to pull the car around after dinner."

"Oh," I say. I'm confused how we didn't hear that, but I do remember Myrcella and I were talking. "What did she say?"

I turn towards the mirror and start putting my foundation on. "She said he's been pressuring her to do more than she's ready for," Arya says. "Since he's almost 14."

"Almost 14," I say, rolling my eyes. "What is he even talking about?"

"And Meera's already 14," Arya says. "So he feels like she should be more ready than him."

"That's ridiculous," I say. "Being older doesn't mean you're more ready for something like that."

"Literally," Arya says. "Like I know I was young, but I actually felt ready."

I think Arya was a little too young, but I see her point. She means that there isn't a magical age you should be ready to move forward in a relationship, which I agree with.

"It seems like Bran is being really immature," Myrcella says. "Sorry, I don't mean to be rude."

"No, he is," Arya says. I turn towards Myrcella so she can do my eyeshadow. "I want to smack him, but I promised Meera I wouldn't tell anyone."

"Should we yell at him?" I ask.

"No," Arya says. "I don't want to lose Meera's trust, she was super hesitant to tell me."

"Then what should we do?" Myrcella asks. It's sweet that she considers herself part of our family, I definitely agree that she is.

"I guess just wait and see what happens," Arya says. "Meera has a good head on her shoulders, and if she breaks up with Bran because of this, it's a lesson he needs to learn."

"I agree," I say. "If he asks either of us about it, we can mention it then."

"You know he won't," Arya says. "He wouldn't even talk to Rob or John."

"You're right," I say, and I know she is. "I guess we'll just have to see how this plays out."

"I had a lot of fun at your birthday dinner," Myrcella says to Arya. "It means a lot to me that I could be part of it."

"Of course," Arya says. "You're basically our other sister." That makes me so happy that Arya said that, maybe they really can get closer after I graduate and go off to college.

Myrcella finishes up, and we head downstairs. My mom comes down as I'm getting my purse ready. "Oh Sansa," she says. "You look gorgeous, please let me take a picture."

"Okay, mom," I say. "If you have to." She chuckles at that.

I stand by the door and my mom takes a picture. I'm actually pretty happy with how I look this year, and I know it'll be fun to go to prom. My dress is purple and has a gradient turning into blue as it goes down, which I thought was really pretty. I'm glad I took Myrcella's advice on the earrings, it really brings the whole look together.

I feel like I've grown a lot since I started high school, and I'm starting to feel more and more ready for college. I feel like I can handle being on my own more, and I never felt like that before. I always needed a guy, or a friend group, or Arya. I'm definitely going to miss Arya and I'm excited to meet new people and maybe do more modeling if I can, but I'm finally starting to feel more content just being who I am.

Jon Snow Stark POV

I've been thinking a lot about Dany and I's talk. I feel like she should be more understanding, but I also do understand how hard this must be for her. I don't think giving someone an ultimatum is the right move, but maybe she felt like she had to. I don't know, I feel like I don't understand relationships even now.

I know that she's the one for me, I definitely feel that way. I don't want to lose her over this, I just freaked out a little.

I head back from working in the student center after class, I do like that job because I can do my schoolwork during my shifts. I definitely need all the time I can get studying for finals coming up. When I walk into the apartment, Dany is on the couch studying. It kinda sucks that all this is happening right before finals when we're already stressed and not getting a lot of time together.

Dany looks at me after I walk in and there's a pause. "Hey," she says quietly. "How was work?" It's still kind of awkward between us, which I don't love but I understand.

"It was okay," I say. "Can I sit with you?"

"Sure," she says. She moved her textbook and sets it on the coffee table so I can sit next to her. "What's up?"

I grab her face and kiss her after I sit down. She seems surprised by that. "What was that for?" She asks.

"I love you so much," I say. "You are the one for me, I need you to know that."

She pauses. "I'm glad you said that," she says. "You know when I said I wanted you to commit to me, I just meant I wanted to know if you really needed to step away from the relationship. If you do, I understand. I just need you to make a decision."

She's way more kind and empathetic than I deserve. I've honestly never met someone more understanding. "I don't want to step away," I say. "I need your support, and I know I can't just be cold and emotionally unavailable to you."

"I understand you're going through a lot, and I definitely wouldn't know how to handle it," she says. "I want to support you, but I can't just be around when it's convenient."

"I know," I say. "And I hate that I made you feel that way. I hope you can understand why I was also upset."

"I do," she says. "I shouldn't have brought other people into it, especially your sister. I just didn't know what to do."

It actually makes me happy that she still refers to Sansa as my sister, even though I guess she's technically not. I'll always think of them as my siblings, I helped raise them. I can't imagine calling them my cousins, even though I guess that's what they are. They're my brothers and sisters.

"I'm glad we can talk about these things," I say, leaning my head on her shoulder. "I was really scared I might lose you."

"I was scared I might lose you," she says. "I was worried you might just up and leave, the way you were acting was freaking me out."

"And I'm really sorry," I say, kissing her cheek. "I'm not going to just leave. Even if that was what I wanted, I couldn't do that without saying something to you first."

"I'm glad to hear that, that makes me feel a little better."

There's a pause as we just sit next to each other. "So we're okay?" I ask. "You know I'm not going anywhere."

"I do now," she says. "We're okay."

"I love you so much."

"I love you too." We kiss and spend a quiet night together, that actually went better than I expected it would. I feel like, if nothing else, we have good communication.

I'm glad I seem to have convinced Dany, at least for a bit. Despite us working through things, I think there's more I should do. I need her to know exactly how much I need her, and that I'm not just saying what I think she wants to hear. She's had enough of that and deserves something genuine.

I have an idea, but I don't want her to think I'm doing it just to make myself look good or as a way of apologizing. It's something I genuinely am wanting to do. Maybe she won't think that, it will take me a while to pull off and there's a lot I need to do beforehand. The first thing I need to do is talk to Dany's dad.