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Chapter 29

"Wow, you really told Vader that you're going to practically give him therapy?" Winter asked. "Girl, you're insane!"

Currently, Winter was helping her with paperwork as she tended to do whenever Leia got too occupied. It turned out that her responsibilities and such didn't die on Alderaan. Even though they frustrated her to no end, Leia couldn't stop. She'd agreed to the sacrifices when she decided to help her father begin the formalization of the Rebel Alliance.

The only issue was that they would have to change... some things. Darth Vader was the face of the Empire, used as a propaganda tool for a monster who would come and murder their families and friends. Now that Vader was no longer an enemy of the Rebellion, Leia would have to do her best to accomplish two goals; make sure that a disgruntled soldier didn't end up trying to kill him in the not-so-distant future, and make sure that he behaved himself and not make the Rebellion regret it.

The idea of Vader actually attending a trial of his own without some backup plan was foolish.

For now, he would be under heavy supervision. She'd known every soldier in this base was here for a formality; they weren't waiting for a battle, but rather to see what her father would do. Likewise, some soldiers viewed her and Luke in a darker light now, believing that any product of Vader was a ticking time bomb. Leia would have to showcase that she was a politician standing behind them.

"I have to grown to see him as a human with genuine struggles; a pitiable being behind the mask." Leia donned a sad smile. "The Emperor is the real monster between the two. But I'm not letting him off the hook that easily."

"Yeah," Winter nodded, "Vader cares about you and Luke. I never thought that you running up and embracing Darth Vader himself would be enough for him to reconsider his stance."

"I didn't know he was my father," Leia added in a grumble. "None of us did."

"It was kriff up," Winter admitted, "if I had known..."

"It's already been done. I'm going to hope that Papa and Mama viewed me as more than a weapon." And yet... part of her still was angry at both of them. While she understood that Vader wouldn't be the ideal dad, it didn't mean that they had to hide everything from her. Kark it, she was starting to wonder if the Jedi were all they were cracked up to be, stored away in royalty.

Well, all except Luke.

It wasn't like he was going to have her commit partisan without telling her the truth... at least when they'd returned. She would have still felt better if Luke told her when retrieving her from the Devastator.

But at least, he'd bloody told her eventually. She didn't want to imagine how worse his PTSD would have been if he'd killed her father instead of redeeming him.

He'd already dealt with many of the burdens that she just couldn't get out of him just yet.

"They did," Winter said sympathetically. "There were times where I feel like you were even the favorite when it comes to papa."

"Hmph, I just am everyone's favorite," Leia made a small joke, grinning painfully.

Winter returned, "You aren't mine."

"You don't count," she flashed her teeth.

"That's why I like Luke more."

"Hey! What does Luke have that I don't?"

Winter looked down at her fingernails, "Well, let's see. More mature? Nicer? More good looks..."

"I am more mature, nicer, and especially have superior looks to Luke," she pretended to be affronted.

"Whatever you tell yourself to sleep at night, Your Highness," the other girl dismissed, shaking her head tauntingly. "But seriously, I wouldn't say that they didn't ever care. Your feelings are understandable, but try to at least see what their point was. You told me before you and Luke were born, Anakin slaughtered all of the Jedi, and that Younglings were involved in that slaughter. I'm pretty sure any parent, adoptive or otherwise, wouldn't allow their kids to go around someone like that."

Leia sighed, her lips pursed. "He should have known better."

"He should have," Winter nodded, "but I do believe that we should remember that the Jedi had children fight in the Clone Wars. They didn't tell them themselves, but you cannot tell me that no child got killed or seriously injured. You remember how Neena reacted when we'd first heard of General Grievous."

Yes, the Youngling slaughter. Luke had brought it up when telling Leia about Anakin's story. While she did acknowledge that Anakin was wronged perhaps by the Jedi like they were, it didn't justify killing children. She'd understood the tough calls that were made by everyone during the time of the Clone Wars-likely Jedi as well that made plenty of them uncomfortable for keepers of the peace. What Leia didn't consider until recently was there were probably children who were bombed from afar. Alderaan showed that battle was not merciful. It was not always adults involved in the fighting, not even in the war currently going on.

"But that was different. They were fighting a war."

"And Anakin was fighting his own. Personally, I would feel very uncomfortable if you were around a older man or woman, telling you who knows what, for thirteen straight years."

"I remember what you did to Ruto Kimeln after I lost that fate. You were pissed. His nose was dislocated weeks after." Leia grinned.

"Had to deal with a punk," Winter rebuked sharply, but with a small smile. "But don't you see, Leia? If Anakin felt like he was supposed to go to Palpatine, then that means the Jedi kriffed up somewhere. He also likely faced bullying, but no one helped him. Maybe that's why he's closed off."

"But that isn't here nor there. He was a Jedi and he should have known better. And besides, Anakin didn't just kill the adults his age; he went and murdered children all because of crazy delusions."

"I know, but they also sent children into battle. Not justifying what he did, but he was also asked to commit treason in a stressful time on someone who had manipulated him for years and someone he didn't want to. And if you're going to call out Anakin, you have to also call out what the Jedi Council did. If anything, they have a higher number of children death rates on their record compared to what he did in the Jedi Temple. And look at what the Jedi were willing to do to you and Luke. Groom you in a similar fashion. They're no different in my eyes."

Her anger grew more at the Emperor when she'd thought about it. If Palpatine was never elected when her own mother's planet was being invaded, she would like to imagine everything would have been better, no matter what Luke and Vader believed. Surely, all of it had to be on Palpatine. Surely, people with morality were a part of the Senate until he'd come along.

"It's a fair point," Leia relented, looking down, "I still do wish that they at least told me that I was a puppet for the Jedi. Luke told me I was the backup if he died or turned to the Dark Side..." her eyes widened, "Skug, I could have killed my own brother and father in another lifetime or vice versa!"

"Leia..." Winter started.

"You're right. The Jedi did manipulate us." Leia snapped. She bashed her teeth against one another, the makings of a snarl spilling out of her lips. She knew Anakin's choices were his own. No one forced him actually to participate in a massacre, and yet they were doing no karking different! But, something inside of her told her at least it was quick. If Luke or Leia had been converted to the Dark Side and one killed the other or even their father, there would have been no escape from the psychological issues and possible insanity that would have followed. And with how protective if not borderline possessive Vader was, it would have definitely impacted him if he'd discovered he murdered his own children.

There would be no winning for anyone.

"They did, Leia, and I'm so sorry for it," Winter leaned over and wrapped her arms around her sister. "...Are you going to check on them? I could always do it, you know. Maybe you need ti..."

"No," Leia cut her off, waving a hand, "they did raise me for nineteen years. I won't run from my battles."

The first thing Leia observed from her father when she finished her count for her parents to have made it back to Yavin was... the more liveliness in his eyes and how his face seemed to be a whole lot lighter.

"Vader?"

When he didn't respond, she approached and resisted placing a hand on his shoulder.

"I suppose you've finished your paperwork, Your Highness?" It came out not as a taunt but rather a question. A deflection, perhaps.

'You aren't getting away that easily.' She held that response, barely, knowing that she couldn't be too blunt with him yet again if she didn't wish to start a verbal spar that would achieve nothing. She would have to keep an eye out for that. Vader was frustrating.

She huffed, "You think I forgot about that talk we're supposed to have?"

Vader squinted, eyeing her face. "No."

"Have you consider what I said?"

"...I have came to acknowledge that I was once Anakin Skywalker," Vader admitted, and those seemingly simple words carried much of the weight off of Leia's shoulders.

Leia nodded as she sat across from him. "Well, where shall we start?"

"I was discovered by Master Qui-Gon Jinn on Tatooine, though he'd kept his interest concealed by his intrigue into discovering my purpose and where I came from. After freeing me from slavery and taking me from your grandmother..."

"Hold up, hold up, hold up, we're going to talk about your slavery."

"And why?" he blinked.

"Need I repeat myself?"

"No."

"Now, talk to me. What did you witness?"

His face pained slightly. "Friends I once knew being murdered, me and my mother beaten, deprived of food, witnessing the Hutts, and m..." he stopped right there.

"Yes? Keep talking. Do not stop." Leia knew this was important.

"It isn't something I wish to vocalize."

"What is so bad that you don't want to tell me?" Leia paused. "Were you... assaulted?"

"No!" Vader answered a little too quickly.

Leia frowned, unsure if she'd believed him.

"Then..."

"It stopped short from that," he looked down and sighed. "Your grandmother allowed them to have their way," he spat venomously, "with her. If she didn't take the fallout I would have, and that was unacceptable for her."

"But why..." She recoiled.

"Slavery is a tough life, Leia," he responded. "The Jedi Order and Republic could have saved all of those people, yet didn't."

A tremor shot up Leia's spine. No matter what her father did, Shmi Skywalker was still a victim of circumstance, and she couldn't fault the woman who birthed him. She'd wanted nothing more than to find those still alive and...

"Is that all?"

A closest to a wince came across Vader's face. "She'd protected the other children as well as much as she could. She'd tried to keep me innocent but..."

"There was no staying innocent from that!" she snapped.

Vader was silent, astonished.

She forced herself to calm down and stared, easing her expression, "Why did you leave her?"

"I... I didn't wan.."

"It's not an accusation. I'm wondering what compelled you to leave."

"Qui-Gon spoke of a greater destiny for me. I didn't know I had to leave her behind. That came later. At my mother and Qui-Gon's insistence, I went with him..."

"You were manipulated," she said nastily.

"I wasn't. He made it clear it was my choice."

"Yeah, but he didn't bother telling you sooner the catch such as leaving your mother behind, thus you were manipulated again," she hissed.

"I was not. He was... different."

"Perhaps through the rose-tinted lens of a starstruck nine-year-old, he was."

What was it with the bloody Jedi and Sith doing this to her family?

They were all starting to get on her nerves. Something dark in her was even starting to believe that they deserved their fates, despite the innocent lives lost.

She threw her hand up on her forehead and grunted, "Keep going..."

"...Just as we prepared to leave, we were ambushed along the way by Darth Maul."

"Luke already told me about him."

Vader nodded, "I was taken to Coruscant where the Jedi had their hesitations in training me to become a Jedi, but Qui-Gon continued to press them. They'd reminded him of his original purpose to free Naboo from the Trade Federation. Obi-Wan argued with Jinn, believing that I was dangerous."

"What made you think this?"

"He told him right in front of me."

"In front of you?! A nine year old boy!" she growled. "What in the name of the forces was that idiot thinking?"

It could be Vader exaggerating, yet something in her told her that he was telling the truth. Not to mention, his unwavering eye contact. Not even Vader was this good of a liar. She had some very sweet words planned out for Obi-Wan Kenobi the next time she saw him.

"Just... karking go on!"

"Him and Obi-Wan encountered Maul again. Maul overpowered and killed Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan defeated him and intended to fulfill his dying wish to see me train."

"How was he to you throughout those ten years?"

"Obi-Wan thought me to be a troubled Padawan. He didn't take me on out of his choice, but due to the dying wishes to Qui-Gon. The rest of the Jedi believed me to be dangerous, leaving me to turn to the Chancellor and go to him for advice."

"And why did Obi-Wan allow this to happen under his custody?"

"He was stuck with me..."

"He wasn't stuck with you," she huffed. "You don't allow a child to get groomed and then blame the child for failing when it grows up. You blame the parent/guardian. More importantly, if he wasn't capable of such a responsibility, he could have refused. No one was cuffing him to you."

"He could have, but he felt an obligation to Qui-Gon." Surprisingly defensive for someone who hated him now.

"He should have felt an obligation for a mind healer," she retorted. "The man was clearly not ready for children. Given what he planned to do to Luke, he still probably isn't. Our grandmother entrusted the Jedi to take care of you as a loving parent, but they FAILED."

After a moment of reflection, she beckoned for him to go on.

"At the time, Palpatine told me everything I've wanted to hear, including the praises and friendship that I've lacked from the Jedi."

"Were all Jedi, save for Jedi Tachi, just not supportive of you?" she asked solemnly.

"Not all of them," Vader answered. "There was a few others who I felt strongly for." He confessed.

"Who?"

"Aayla Secura. Jax Pavan. And another that comes to mind was named Master Yaddle."

The fact that Vader referred to her as Master caught her attention. Was there actual respect for her? Leia was going to find out. "Who's Master Yaddle?"

"She'd resembled Master Yoda, though her views were different. She'd often believed in a way that none of the others on the Jedi Council did."

"What happened to her?"

"Granta Omega happened," Vader spat the name with such venom and anger that it almost made Leia feel cold, his eyes briefly burning with such, undefined hatred and anger. "He'd schemed to poison Mawan with a chemical weapon. He had captured me beforehand. Yaddle was able to liberate me before Omega could administer a lethal charge, then jumped through a launch tube after the chemical bomb, mobilizing the Force to redirect the bomb into herself, exploding and perishing in the process, making sure that none on Mawan would be exposed to the explosion."

"Do you believe her death also had a part to play in you going to Palpatine?"

"Perhaps, without her support, I was lost for a extended period of time," he admitted. "Tachi and Secura filled the role."

"And what happened to Secura?"

"She'd died during Order 66."

Kriff, what was it with everyone dying around him... "Why didn't you go to her for advice if she was still alive?"

"She wasn't available most of the time. Often she was drawn to the battlefield, and during the last days of the Republic, she was on Felucia for an assignment," Vader responded, and for a moment, his face washed with grief before it was cleared. "Secura's mind was closed off anyhow. She'd believed strongly in the virtues of the Jedi. The Clone Wars..."

She waved him off, "We'll talk about the wider aspects of the Clone Wars later. Let's focus on you right now. Did the Jedi do anything else?"

Vader broke eye contact for a moment before staring back up, "The Chancellor's life was threatened, and this alerted the Jedi. As a result, they faked Obi-Wan's death..."

"They faked his death?!"

"They believed my reaction would sell the assassination even more."

"Well, that didn't go right," she observed.

"Clearly," he snorted.

"What else?"

"My then 16-year-old Padawan, Ahsoka Tano, was accused for bombings that occurred at the Jedi Temple."

"Why would the Council think she was guilty? Was she at the scene of the crime?"

"No, she wasn't even on the planet."

She moaned. "Then that should have cleared her..."

Were they all part of a TV show or Holofilm? Some sort of plot that was holding them all together?

"Instead of protecting her, the Order banned her and allowed a military tribunal to take place."

"And?" she prompted.

"It turned out that she had been framed, by her friend and my own in the past, Barriss Offee, but by then it was too late for her. She left the Jedi Order."

Of course, it would piss Vader off. Hell, it was causing her to breathe hot water right now.

Leia instinctively placed her hand on his, "Why did you join him for good? From your point of view. What reason was there?"

"I was sure Luke told you," he replied. "He'd told me he had the power to save your mother from certain death."

Leia scoffed, "So a deceptive politician who worked his way to the top through blackmailing and secrecy, who you knew also started the Clone Wars, and had a part in attempting to assassinate our mother three years before and likely continue to do so throughout the war, would have helped to save her from what you refer to as certain death?"

Vader was sulking now. "I didn't consider that at the time," he even admitted, aggravated with a bit of... she would dare say timidness in his tone. "And the Jedi weren't superior in my eyes. They'd allowed Shmi Skywalker to die. I saw your mother in pain during a vision giving birth and I knew I must do something to prevent it."

"That's how giving birth works, stupid," Leia couldn't stop herself from saying. Frak... "Ugh, you people of the past were all idiots."

"Excuse me?" Vader was indignant.

"I may not have children, but I'm pretty sure any research on the topic would have told you women all feel some sort of pain during childbirth, even with the best painkillers in the galaxy. And with the best medical teams in the galaxy, it is likely my mother would have been able to make a full recovery. She may have been unconscious. That's normal. But most likely she would survived if you didn't choke her hours earlier in a dumb belief that she was going to assassinate you."

"The Force wouldn't have shown me those visions if she was going to be safe. I couldn't let..."

"It doesn't matter," she countered. "Even if she did die, you would have your children, or did you forget that?" Hurt leaked in her tone. It shouldn't. But did their father think for a moment about them? Even should her mother meet a tragic fate, he could have raised her and Luke!

"I was concerned about you!" he blabbered. "I couldn't let either of you risk death... and my mother died in a vision before! I couldn't let either of you follow the same..." To think, last year, she had first met him alongside the Emperor and found him to be an unmovable monster who only served the whim of the Emperor. Having witnessed earlier at the time, Eg'ros Akala, being arrested by two Stormtroopers for simply trying to buy a meal at a restaurant, Leia strictly decided that she would bring up the issue to Palpatine at the same time. When she met the Emperor, however, she became frightened by the oily feeling of darkness radiating from him and was unable to do anything more than mutter thanks to his compliments as her biological father - albeit none of them knew it - only watched.

The encounter was terrifying and she had nightmares about it following it, but Leia couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if Vader had found out the truth right then and there. Or the Emperor. Or worse, even both. It wasn't out of the realm of possibility that Vader would have gone on the run with her, even being compelled to join the Rebellion. However, Leia didn't know if Vader only followed them because of Luke's Force tricks or otherwise. She didn't have what he had.

"Tell me about these karking Force visions." She was not even sure if she wanted to know at this point.

"Force visions alert you of upcoming danger or of the future, not necessarily terrorizing you, however, to remind you of possible dangers to you or someone else. When someone is in danger of dying, their Force presence begin fading, and I felt it with both your mother and grandmother."

"If you'd seen grandmother being tortured, it is natural to at least check on her, but what isn't is believing the man who tried to kill your wife and manipulated thousands would be her dark knight in shining armor," she remarked sarcastically.

"Your mother was under tremendous amount of stress since she was fourteen, and after the Empire ascended, everything she ever worked for was eradicated. Additionally, she was pregnant with you and Luke which would have contributed onto her stress, not to mention being intimidated by the knowledge of everyone coming aware to that particular affair."

"Epidurals and other medicines have been noted to reduce stress and anxiety. You had some of the best doctors in the galaxy, and I don't buy that the Emperor knows everything about child labor and what's it like to be a woman." she responded.

"I felt her in pain, Leia!" he growled.

"And as I told you before, women will feel pain in childbirth. Not many women die to giving birth in the galaxy. Seeing a woman crying in pain from a nightmare giving birth, even though it's weird to have that type of dream, is normal."

"I had to prevent her feeling from that pain," he grunted.

"Well, unless joining Palpatine can transform you into a woman and take the babies for her, there was no stopping her from feeling some type of pain."

"..."

He seemed to be thinking for a moment.

"Perhaps the Emperor fed me visions of your mother's demise to fuel my fear, given you and Luke are both still alive," Vader finally spoke what was on his mind.

She gasped. "You think he could really do that?"

Vader huffed lowly, "He could do many things that you believe unnatural, Leia. Past Sith were noted for such an ability."

"And so you held onto his every whim because the Jedi lost all of your trust at this point and you didn't want to be alone again," she predicted, seeing how his eyes agonized. "What... did he do to you?"

Vader sighed. "He manipulated me until he no longer had to. I led the 501st to the Jedi Temple and massacred them all, believing I needed to grow more powerful in the Dark Side. I believed that if I spared any, I would not be able to save her from her death. After doing what I believed that must be done, I went before your mother and told her I was going to Mustafar to finally end the war." Leia resisted trembling. "And so I did. I did what I had to do without question and without remorse. It gave me the power I needed and at last I could have been able to organize what was required to be in place to finally save your mother. Save you. Or so I thought."

Why were people in the past so stupid?