Chapter 1: Audacity

Lady Merry in this story is a tribute to my wonderful friend and fellow North and South author, SomebodyCalledMeSebastian. She is a fantastic writer and has many stories published for North and South. She makes her appearance in Chapter Two, but does not become a main character until Chapter Five.

In my story, tethered refers to the emotional connection we feel for someone we love.

I am grateful to my friend, Mimosa, for her amazing editing skills! If you spot a mistake, it is because I did not catch it. My stories are much improved because of her meticulous eye.

This story is complete, 13 chapters. As always, comments are encouraged and most welcomed! I love discussing our beloved characters.—Annabella Grace

"Love is an irresistible desire

to be irresistibly desired"

-Robert Frost

oooOOOooo

John and Watson retired to his study to visit after the mill master's weekly dinner which had been held tonight at the mill house. Watson remarked that Cook had done a wonderful job with the dinner his mother had planned. Mrs. Thornton had seen to every detail of the dinner earlier in the day before returning to Hayleigh to look after Fanny who was feeling unwell during the early stages of her pregnancy.

During the dinner, Henderson, another mill master, commented on John being a perpetual bachelor. It hurt John, and he masked his feelings quickly, but Watson had not missed John's momentary reaction before his face returned to his usual stoic countenance.

After John had refreshed their drinks, the men sat down in the chairs before the fire.

Watson commented, "Fanny tells me that this is your domain, Thornton. No one except for the maids are allowed to come in here. I am surprised you have a second chair in here given that it is your solitary place."

John did not smile as Watson had expected at the bit of teasing, and said with some resignation, "It has not been my wish to be such a solitary man, but circumstances have deemed it so."

"Thornton, there is not a single woman in Milton society who would not welcome your attention, at least according to Fanny. She maintains that you are single because you are married to the mill."

"My sister gives her thoughts easily on the matter, but there is a great deal she does not know, Watson," John quipped. "I implore you to discourage her from anymore matchmaking. It is not fair to any woman to lead her into thinking that all I need is encouragement from the womenfolk in my family to take a wife. I will marry for love, or I will not marry at all."

Watson was an astute man, and he had long ago concluded that a certain southern lady had captured John's affections; however, nothing had ever come of it.

"Thornton, at your annual dinner party, I could not help but notice the sparks of attraction between you and Miss Hale. I know you do not share the same views about the mill workers, but do you not think you could work past that? I have never seen you show interest in another woman other than her."

Watson had hit too close to home, and John chose his words carefully not to reveal his deeper emotions. "Miss Hale is the most beautiful and intelligent woman I have ever known, but she is in London now among her family and society. We will not see her again. Besides, I have little enough as it is to offer any woman at this time. The mill is struggling to regain its pre-strike profitability level."

"Miss Hale does not seem the sort to care about your financial status, Thornton," Watson countered. "She is deeply religious, right? She cares far more about people than shillings and pounds."

Watson continued, "My Fanny tells me that the Hale home in Crampton was quite shabby and very small."

John was quick to defend the Hales, "It was small, but not shabby. Of course it was by my sister's standards, but to me, it was cozy and comfortable. I spent some of the happiest hours of my life in that home studying the classics. Miss Hale would often join in our discussions. It was a home filled with love and learning, not a house filled with ornaments to reflect wealth and status."

Watson replied with humor, "Fanny has filled our house with enough ornaments to decorate every house in Crampton besides our own, at great expense, I must say."

John smiled, and said, "Fanny never met a coin she could not spend. You must teach her some fiscal responsibility, Watson. Mother never controlled her spending at all, therefore Fanny never learned how to manage money. Our industry has its ebbs and flows, and she needs to spend less and save more for those times when we need to weather a downturn in the market."

"Aye, Thornton, you are right, and in fact, she and I recently had that conversation. Now that we are expecting our first child, there are more pressing matters to think about than Indian wallpaper and Oriental carpets."

John thought that much as well. "You are a blessed man, Watson. I am hoping Fanny will listen to you. She was coddled as a child, but those days are behind her now as she will become a mother in only six months."

"Speaking of my wife, I need to be getting home to her, Thornton."

oooOOOooo

After his brother-in-law left, John walked upstairs to retire. He had the house to himself for several days since his mother was at the Watson home with his sister.

In his room, after he had done his nightly absolutions, he crawled into bed. His heart ached for Margaret. She had left Milton only eight months ago, and he yearned to see her again.

There was not a single day that he did not think of her. Nothing in his life could fill the void in his heart where her love should live. His heart railed against the unfairness of it all! No man had ever loved a woman as he loved her, and yet, his love for Miss Hale was unrequited. A pang of loneliness pierced his heart, and he found it hard to breathe for a moment. The only respite he had from this profound loneliness was when he slept, and his thoughts were at rest.

Exhausted, he closed his eyes and let sleep claim him.

oooOOOooo

John awoke with a start the following morning and despite the chilly morning air, his body was burning. It was early morning, far earlier than his usual time to get up. It was his dream that had awakened him, and it had been so vivid that it had felt real.

Margaret was beside him in this very bed, and she had been as lost in their lovemaking as he had been. There had not been an inch of skin that he had not touched on her beautiful body, and she had lavished attention on him, too. John touched his lips and closed his eyes to remember her kisses.

John laid back on his pillows and tried to make sense of it. It was only a dream, but a dream he wanted to be his reality. He reached over and touched her side of the bed, and of course, it was empty, but the dream had shown him a glimpse of what life could be like if he had the courage to reach out to her to see if there was perhaps a chance for them yet.

But… she was in London, and his mill was barely hanging on. Did he have the audacity to go after what he wanted and needed to be happy?

In the months she had been gone, John had spent a great deal of time reflecting on all that had passed between them. It had been eight months of facing the truth that he simply could not be happy without her. He must do as his heart demanded and try again to make her his own.

He did not have her address, but Mr. Bell did. He would write to Mr. Bell today and include a letter for Margaret.

John heard the servants stirring downstairs and got up to wash. Warm water was kept on the fire for him, and he had not used all that was there last night. Even though the fire had burned to merely embers in the night, the water was lukewarm, and John began to shave.

After he was presentable for the day, he stopped in the dining room for a cup of tea and took his time this morning. He needed to think about what he wanted to say to Margaret in his letter.

Of course, he was dependent on Mr. Bell to see that she got it. It irked him to have to go through Bell, but propriety did not allow him to send letters to Miss Hale directly. He wondered if her Aunt Shaw, a haughty woman, would even give Margaret the letter if she saw it was from Milton. She made no secret of her disdain for his home when she had arrived to take Margaret back to London with her.

Cook prepared a light breakfast of eggs and toast for him. John ate quickly and left for the mill.

Williams had the boilers up and running already, and after conferring with his overseer over a few matters that needed to be attended to that day, John sat down at his desk and took out his best parchment paper.

To Bell, he simply wrote that he needed a favor from him, and he hoped Bell would oblige his tenant by giving Miss Hale the enclosed letter when Mr. Bell saw her next.

John made three attempts before finally getting the words he wanted to say down in a satisfactory manner to Miss Hale. This letter could change his life.

He took the letters to the post office himself and was assured that they would be on the next train to Oxford.

He was glad he was a patient man because if he heard back from Miss Hale, and that was certainly not guaranteed, it might be weeks or even months.

oooOOOooo

Oxford

Adam Bell had just returned home from an evening out with friends when he was greeted at the door by his long-time butler and friend, Wallace. After taking his coat and assuring Bell that there would be tea in the study shortly, Adam took the mail from the tray on the nearby table and went to sit by the fire.

There were invitations to dinners and a personal letter. Adam opened the letter, and a second one fell out on his lap. It was addressed to Miss Margaret Hale. Judging from the weight of it, Thornton had quite a lot to say to Miss Hale.

He turned his attention to the letter in his hand:

Dear Mr. Bell,

I hope this letter finds you well. I have a favor to ask of you, and I do hope you will be agreeable to it.

Miss Hale and I did not part on the best of circumstances, and I regret that. I wanted to send a letter to her with my regrets, but of course, propriety will not allow me to write to her directly. I want to treat Miss Hale with the respect she deserves as a young lady in mourning.

I wonder if the next time you go to London, you might give my letter to Miss Hale? It will be her choice whether to read it or not, but it is important to me that we do not leave things as they have been all these months. I must try to clear up the misunderstandings between the two of us.

I will be forever in your debt,

John Thornton

Bell laughed aloud in delight. Oh, he most certainly would deliver Thornton's letter to his goddaughter, and shortly. He had long ago thought there was a tendresse between the two of them, and it would seem to be so.

Adam Bell remembered when Richard Hale and Maria Beresford had fallen in love, much to the disapproval and consternation of her family. Richard, as the second son of an earl, was not a favorable match for Baron Beresford's niece. So, they had to communicate through letters, and Adam was the go-between for them that summer. He was staying at the Hale estate which bordered the Beresford estate. Each day, he rode out to tuck Richard's letters to Maria in a tree on the edge of the property and retrieved Maria's letters for Richard.

He would be all too happy to reprise his role as a go-between for Margaret and Thornton if need be. But...he was getting ahead of himself. Margaret's reaction to John's letter would determine if that would be necessary.

He drank the steaming cup of tea Wallace brought to him and laid John's letter to Margaret on the edge of his desk. His reply to Thornton would go out with tomorrow's post.

Bell sat back and smiled. He was looking forward to seeing how this all played out.