Author's Note:
I posted a less version of this on AO3, but wanted to print and post this here. I have edited quite a bit. Thanks for reading.
One Breath
prologue: fog
He watched her as the news settled into her bones, chilling her from within, the cold taking her breath away.
Faith, thank goodness it had been her, delivered news that no parents ever want to hear and the world had gone eerie and dark for both Nathan and Elizabeth. Instantly, all of the sunshine and life that usually filled the room disappeared. Oxygen had left this space entirely. He couldn't breathe. He didn't know if she was either.
Even as he leaned in closer, the warmth she usually exuded was absent. He didn't know how to return that warmth to her.
He could barely think which was not something familiar to a mountie.
None of this was familiar. He had felt pain and loss, he had dealt with danger and terrible situations, but nothing had prepared him for this. His boy, her son...has diabetes...it has no cure. Those words were screaming in his head as loud as a clanging cymbal and for a moment, his grief and fear swallowed him. Her son had become his boy in all of the ways that counted. He couldn't imagine that the light would ever come out again without Jack in the world. Now, his future and safety were threatened and there was nothing that he could do about it.
Nathan lowered his head quietly, his blue eyes darkening. The shock of his new reality settled in on him like the thick fog that covered the valley in the early morning hours. He couldn't afford to stay in that grief. He would have to push those feelings aside because he knew that he had to be strong, for Allie who had yet to find out the news, for Jack who had to fight harder than any child should, and for Elizabeth, his love, who needed him to be her strength and to make her brave.
He thought of Elizabeth and how strong she was, but no one should have to be strong enough of this. No one, least of all her, should have to lose her husband in such a tragic way and then lose his son, the last remnant of their love. Knowing that his feelings were nothing compared to his Elizabeth's. He had to shake off his own emotions and focus on her. He couldn't imagine the pain that she must be feeling but he could be right by her side through all of itand he could seek out every way that would make her feel a little less alone.
Quickly, he raised his face and returned his focus to his beloved, searching for the depths of her feelings. Her face bore an expression that he wasn't familiar with. It was shock and disbelief and panic. It was the face of utter and complete devastation.
He tried to remember what gave him comfort and peace when Coleen had died. He tried to remember how he made it through those early days when Allie had moved in and the two started their lives together. He wanted to put those memories toward this moment in order to take away this hurt from the only ones who held his heart. As sure as his heart was breaking, he knew Elizabeth's was breaking tenfold and none of those old memories, none of his pain could be used to assuage the pain of this moment. This scenario was much different from what he had suffered. This was a battle that had just begun. There was still hope for Jack and for his beautiful mama. There had to be. Nathan wasn't sure where the hope was or how to find it, or what to do when he did find it, but he wasn't going to lose the little man he had come to know and love so well.
He sure as heck wasn't going to sit around and watch the woman he loves have to suffer through another devastating loss.
So, while in the midst of his own shock and panic, while lost in thoughts of pain and darkness, all he could think to do for now, was to hold her a little tighter, pray a little harder for a miracle, trust that his love could somehow keep the cold and the fog at bay and that their hearts could find hope in the midst of all of the terrible things that may be headed their way.