Book II
Small Gods
Chapter 6
A Smokey Kind of Dusk
"III"
"Authem is an old word. It is actually a mistranslation made by an old wizard who thought himself something of a genius of his time.
"Back when magic practiced by wizards was based on ritual and performance, the concept of authem was studied much more widely than it is today. Today, we have wands to help focus our intent. This, among other things, has moved wizards beyond the time of authem into the modern era of spell casting."
Dumbledore pauses and clears his throat, "I think that will be all for today Ginevra, why don't you head down to lunch. We can pick up here tomorrow if you would."
As she leaves Dumbledore's office, Ginny contemplates how she got to where she is today. An accident, rightly, or a fluke. She's just curious, she guesses, nothing particularly special about why Dumbledore decided to take her under his wing. She's wondered in the past why he hasn't taken Ron's friend Hermione aside for private lessons, she's definitely top of her class as far as Ginny can tell.
The great hall is up to its usual crowdedness, full of loud students appreciating a time resembling freedom among their class schedules. Ginny shakes her head, feeling a bit put out as usual and sits down with her friends at the end of the table, muttering a greeting as Sue passes over a pile of ham sandwiches.
She looks up and catches him looking hurriedly away, as usual. She shakes her head again, bemused, as always, by his weird attentions.
"III"
April 3, 2008
She lets out a loud whoop, jumping and fist pumping like a nerd.
His throat hurts.
"You— you have some explaining to do…" Anger bubbles beneath the surface of his words.
She stops in her celebrations and turns to look at him, taken aback. "What?"
He's not sure why he's so mad, only that a hot fist clenches around his lungs and angry words feel like they're spitting out of him.
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!? AN ELEMENTAL SUMMONING?" he roars, "you CLEARLY knew what the ritual was for, and with only a protection circle around us, but YOU EVEN STEPPED OUT OF IT. WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? You could have been KILLED!"
She looks startled by his outburst, staring at him with wide shocked eyes.
He's breathing hard, his heart pounding in his ears, his anger rushing like a soothing tide in his chest.
They stand there, feet apart, eyes locked with a leaden silence filling up the space between them, pushing them further apart.
The water elemental stands stoically in the background.
Then Ginny's anger turns to bear, like a storm cloud breaking over the horizon. The air turns cold and crackles as she scowls. The elemental takes a step forward, moving to hover behind her shoulder. She holds up a hand, stalling the elemental's movement and scowls heavily at Harry.
"You think you can tell me off Potter!?" she hisses incredulously, "you!? You have no right."
She turns and moves to stalk out the door, waving her hand at the creature as she does. It's body loosens and splashes down to the floor, formless and wet, her anger seems to deflate with it.
Harry blocks her path, "look, you owe me an explanation," he says curtly. "And… I'm sorry for shouting… I…" he rubs a hand over his face, "I tend to shout first then think later, so… I apologize. I was just… unprepared... is all." He steps back, giving her some room.
She's staring straight ahead, her shoulders stiff and tense.
She sighs, "fine! Fine. Let's at least get out of here first." She glances up at him then, her eyes shuttered and impenetrable.
Night has fully drawn over the mountains, and, as they make their way back down the stairs, rain begins to fall, the patter echoing softly around the astronomy tower.
Harry stares at Ginny's back, tense and tight. Damnit. He sighs and runs his hands through his hair.
He follows her all the way outside, down the lawn to the Black Lake. At some point during the journey, she'd made the switch back to her pink-haired persona.
He conjures an umbrella to hover over them and the sound of the rain echoes off of it, filling the air with a low hiss. The rain is delicate and misty and clings to her eyelashes.
She turns to him suddenly, whipping around to face him.
"Look," she begins, and then stops — sighing and drawing her hands through her hair.
"Look," she begins again, ferocity in her voice. "I've given you more explanations in the past few months than anyone I've talked to… in, well, ever! I don't owe you anything."
Harry frowns, nettled at himself for pushing — yet again.
"However," she pauses and pushes her hand into her hair again, "however, I can understand that I was a bit rash and… impulsive back in the tower." She glances up at him, if not a little tentatively.
Harry sighs and nods at her to continue.
"I apologize for not letting you know what I was planning. Honestly, I just didn't want you to talk me out of it, and I was mostly positive I could handle it!"
Harry can't help it, "mostly?" he teases, smirking.
And just like that, the tension drains from Ginny and she grins up at him, chagrined.
They walk around the lake after that. And as they do, dusk falls, the day fading into the smoke of night.
This is alright, he thinks, this can be alright. But what 'this' is, he doesn't bother to define.
"III"
April 4, 2008
She paces back and forth across the loft — her heart banging around in her chest.
She doesn't know what's made her let her secrets loose. She feels tenuous, her secrets stripping away from her like pieces of ribbon, flying off into the velvet night.
Her heart pounds in her ears as she crouches down, panic rising.
An echo of Tom's voice slices between her ribs like a needle sharp knife, digging into her lungs until they're filled with cotton.
Such a foolish little girl. Aching about her secrets. She has no secrets. You're spread bare to the world. They all see you as I see you. They know your evil heart as I know it. You think you hide from the world? Hah! They see you for the mouse you are. Feeble and shaking.
It echoes and echoes around her hollow chest until she screams loud in her frustration and desperation — the velvet cloth coating her lungs expelling in a burst of steam and smoke.
The philodendron on the window sill arcs into consuming life, the vines twining across the floor towards her.
She rolls onto her back, panting. Fuck.
It's been a while since she's heard his voice. It seems he lingers on — even after expelling him from her mind.
Fuck, she thinks again.
She needs to get back to work.
"III"
"Y'know, you seem very comfortable in the muggle world."
She looks up from her book as Harry sits down in the chair next to her. She scowls at him over the steaming mug of coffee he puts down on her table.
"You seem to very comfortable stalking me."
He laughs, loud in the quiet coffee shop.
"You seem to be very comfortable going to places close to my flat. If I recall, you don't live anywhere near here."
Her scowl turns to a glare. His shit-eating grin turns serious.
"Can I ask you a question?" he asks.
She sits back in her chair, wary at the quick shift in tone. She shrugs.
"You seem to be in London for good now, or at least in England for good, yeah?"
She shrugs again.
He continues, "so… are you going to see your family? It's— it's been hard on them… what with you gone and all, they— they still… they're mourning you still."
She takes a breath to interrupt but he plows on.
"When you first left, back in Hogwarts, Molly was upset, but I think she knew it was something you needed to do, for yourself. But after— after you 'died,' it's been really hard on her. Your whole family really…" He drifts off.
"I'm blathering I guess, but I'd like to bring you back home."
It's silent as she stares at him, only the clattering of the espresso machine and the chatting baristas drifting around them.
Her heart beats heavily in her chest, trying to push her open like a book. She feels clumsy, like she's clutching at the strands of herself, trying to hold herself together.
Harry's saying something.
"Hey.
"Hey, Gin, I'm sorry… I didn't mean… I can't even imagine what it's been like for you—" he trails off, his arm pressing along the length of hers and she thinks, I like the weight of you here , and she lets herself feel grounded for once in her life.
But she doesn't say anything.
He's looking at her. She can feel his gaze as she stares into her coffee.